Friday chicken

Reflecting on both the hard and the good in the week that was…

Hello, chicken: we are here.

{a breath for being here when we get here}

Thank you, week!

This is the 381st week in a row we are chickening here together….

or “checking in”, if you prefer to enunciate.

What worked this week?

The Iguana Liberation Front

Iguana is code for anything I don’t feel like doing — usually iguanas are things I’ve been avoiding, they often lurk inside of piles which is why piles are not fun.

I realized this week that the iguanas and I have a shared mission: to be liberated from fear-dread-guilt shackles. And so I joined the Iguana Liberation Front, an imaginary organization that supports iguanas in leaving their current hideouts in my workspace and procuring safe passage back to iguanaland where they may roam free forever, amen.

Turns out I am much more motivated to give twenty-three minute segments of my time to [things that have been stuck] if I imagine I am part of a quiet revolution, dismantling the hierarchies-that-be through releasing guilt and helping iguanas find their way to freedom.

Next time I might…

Remember November.

It’s not just the November Glums at the beginning of the month, and the early darkness. It’s what happens energetically when North America goes into holiday mode, and everyone is girding themselves for travel and wildly unsovereign family gatherings.

The collective cultural energy of this time of year is very heavy and exhausting, for me, and I need to remember that this is a thing so that I can be extra-conscious to separate out and not carry any of it.

Upcoming biopic if it were based on this week…

Oh Okay Fine, My Clothing Is Leopard-Print Everything: A Woman In Her Late 30s

If you feel drawn to comment on aspects of my week, I will take love, hearts, breaths, pebbles — I do not need advice or cheering up, though presence and sweetness are always welcome

8 breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.

  1. Paris. Let us have a breath for Paris. A breath of deeply grounded internally-rooted presence so that we can glow light.
  2. It is so hard in these painful times to not take on the pain of the world. And it is vitally important for me to remember that joining in the collective wobbliness does not serve anyone involved, including me. The answer to wobbliness is steadiness and steady love, and the secret to steadiness is permission, acknowledgment and legitimacy for the wobbliness and the pain. A breath for being a tall sturdy oak, and for breathing love through steadiness.
  3. Tuesday was just a massive meltdown, and it was not fun. I disconnected and forgot truth and really believed that Everything Was Wrong. A breath of compassion for me who got triggered and forgot. So much love and understanding for her! Shedding isn’t easy, and meltdowns are part of life.
  4. I am feeling bittersweet (ha!) about the chocolate shop closing next month. I don’t want to own a chocolate shop anymore but I also feel almost unbearably sad at the thought of this historic chocolate shop becoming a store-room. A breath for trust in my yes, right timing, the truth of Everything Ends.
  5. Speaking of everything ends, still/again deep grief-denial about the boy being gone, lost in this loop of knowing he can’t come back but still some part of me who can’t comprehend wants to know when does he back and why isn’t he coming back, and I don’t know what to tell her. Waves of sorrow. A breath for love, which just is. And a breath of thank you for the treasure of our fourteen months of sweetness and all the sweetness that is and will be.
  6. All this endless work stuff makes me long for shmita, and not sure how to get back. A breath for new doors.
  7. The familiar pain of vastly overestimating how much I am capable of getting done. A breath for remembering that the Game is Rigged, and I have been trained to overestimate.
  8. Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.

8 breaths for the good, reassuring, delight-filled.

  1. The November Glums have not reappeared, it really was just a brief thing, delight! A breath for this.
  2. Tonight is the sixth consecutive night going out dancing (mostly blues/fusion with some waltz and west coast), and then more dancing tomorrow. This is part of my November mission/adventure of Glow More, and I am enjoying myself so much more than I’d anticipated, especially given how much this involves Trying New Things. A breath for the healing joy-treasure of dance, movement and connection.
  3. A life-changing dance lesson with Jen on the topic of How To Relax (last week’s salve!), and I am so excited about how this connects to my other missions. Oh, and I got to dance with Marjorie again, and she makes me weak in the knees. It is all I can do to maintain minimal gracefulness, especially when I follow something tricky and she says “niiiiiiiiiiiiice” in my ear. Steamy joy breath.
  4. I planned twelve days of beautiful running away in December, where there will be sun and sweetness and even more dancing, and could not be happier about this. Everything is easier knowing that this exists for me. A breath of thank you.
  5. A laughter-filled evening of urban adventuring that included crashing a wedding that wasn’t a wedding. A breath for play and its magical healing powers.
  6. I immediately came up with a possible solution to something that appeared in the form of Very Bad News, and while I don’t know if this is the answer, I like how wonderfully not-worried I am about the seemingly bad news because I feel the truth in my heart, so I know that it’s not bad news at all, even if I don’t know for sure what comes next.
  7. Treasure in my life in the form of home-made soup, texting with Marisa, my smiling waltz circle companions, being a grand adventuress in spirit and occasionally in deed, sweet loving words from far away, the best cheesy dance aerobics, happy hour, warm orange sweater, favorite winter scarf. A hand-on-heart breath of wonder for the good in my life
  8. Thankfulness. Everything is okay and so much is good. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.

Sparklepoints, superpowers, salve, fake band of the week!

Operations completed and forward movement!

Working on phase II of the Fountaining op is good to go, Ruby Jewel (not actually a jewel) is good to go except for one thing, and I took three steps towards Sweet Honey and Shed Shed Shed. Panther Time is on the docket. Thank you, fractal flowers.

I now bestow upon myself a quintillion sparklepoints, like a Fairground Stripper, and you are welcome to do the same for you.

Or if you don’t do numbers (even fake ones), an endless cascading fountaining abundance of sparklepoints

Superpowers I had this week…

Last week I asked for the superpower of total trust in right timing, and oh wow, I had this all week!

Powers I want.

I want even more of last week’s Not Caring What Other People Think, and I want to remember my glow.

The Salve of Remembering My Glow

These invisible salves are distributed here by way of internet magic. Help yourself! Take it in a bath, as tea, a cocktail, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.

When I still had the Playground, my retreat center, often just walking in the door was enough to recalibrate my glow-field. I’d sit on the floor, soak up the glow, and then my glow was just there.

It is so easy to forget, and yet, here’s the trick, it is also so easy to remember, and that’s what this salve is for.

This salve comes with an applicator, a slender silver wand with a hand at the end. Dip it into the salve and then write the word GLOW on the palm of each hand. Do it. Feel what happens.

Let the tingly sensation grow and glow and spread. Kiss the palms of your hands and place them on your cheeks, feel the glow develop and envelop you.

Write GLOW on your heart. Feel the jewels in the palms of your hands, soles of your feet, diamonds on the soles of your shoes, like in the song but better. Breathe light in your heart now.

This salve makes this happen effortlessly, and when you use it, you not only remember your glow, you remember to pause and to cultivate your glow. You remember that your glow is unique, that being in it is healing for both you and everyone you encounter. Your glow is enough. The salve just reminds you of the truth of that, and lights some sparks that weren’t visible before.

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

My brother and I make up bands, which are all just one guy. The Meme Beach House is the venue.

just-one-guy

This week’s band:

The Wedding Crashers Limited (Unlimited)

Their latest album is Mambo #777, and, of course, it’s just one guy.

Photo taken just for us in Lubbock, TX by Jesse — thank you!

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I was supposed to close down the Flash Sale while Richard was in Europe and I forgot! Which means you can stil come to our Flash Sale! The password: sweetdoors

As you know if you’ve hung out here for a while, we offer things pretty rarely, and they are always amazing, so come spark with us!

How was your week?

Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.

And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!

The Fluent Self