Hello, week: we are here.
It is a Sunday chicken today, because I disappeared to the coast and didn’t have internet, and, yes, All Timing Is Right Timing, no matter how many times a day I forget that.
{a breath for being here when we get here}
Thank you, week!
This is the 391st week in a row we are chickening here together….
What worked this week?
Being literal with concepts and experiments.
My dance teacher likes to say, “Pretend you have a hundred dollar bill between your thighs, don’t let it hit the ground!” I get it, as an image, as a concept, it gives you a visual and sensory perception beyond just thinking, oh right I need to keep my thighs closer together so they help power this turn.
But this week I decided to use an actual bill. I didn’t have a hundred, but I had a twenty, and while Andrew Jackson is pretty much the last person I want between my thighs, I made it work.
It was both harder and easier than I’d imagined, and after several minutes I was able to remove the bill and still really feel the right-for-me amount of thigh-on-thigh pressure needed to execute a flawless spiral or curl, or even just to do panther walks.
Sometimes it helps me to feel the idea, and I sense many applications of this…
The other thing that worked was arranging for provisions for slightly future me, like bringing extra socks to the coast (smart move!), and prepping ingredients for soup.
Next time I might…
Allow for more time.
It’s an especially tricksy part of the rigged game, somehow I persist in thinking — despite all life experience to the contrary — that the things of life (the ones that just have to be done whether I want to do them or not — laundry, dishes, taking out the compost, getting ready to go out) can all be done in one day.
Naming the days.
This week was the week of Protected Glow, and here were the days:
Freedom glows. Beautifully here. Protected and glowing. Wild entry. Jubilation. Ease ease ease. Calm steady glow.
Upcoming biopic if it were based on this week…
Excuse Me I Need To Go Hide Now: The Havi Brooks Story.
8 breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- The house is in such a state of commotion and upheaval as we go through this emptying process. A breath for breathing my way back to clarity.
- I am completely unable to focus when my surroundings are messy and unattractive-to-me. I thrive in beautiful creative chaos, sure, but when it’s not aesthetically pleasing to me, it’s like kryptonite. There are so many things that need my attention, my doing, my decision-receiving, my presence, and I am just not there for it at all. A breath for this.
- My housemate of ten years and a month moved out. It feels bizarre and surreal and I don’t even know how to understand the space without him. A breath for this is right, and for trust.
- I got lots of intel on my yes and my no while at the coast, and this means now I have to be honest with people and say things they may not want to hear, and that’s no fun. No wonder I didn’t want to know what was true for me. A breath for being present with what is, and trusting that what is in my good is in the good of the whole.
- My dance teacher gave me her next round of fixes for our dance drills, and this is all really good, but my brain is breaking, and this is the hard part of the slow-motion montage. A breath for deep trust.
- I got upset with someone I love for being how they are. And then upset with myself for being upset. And then this whole week was filled with clues that were very clearly about [frogs and scorpions], and it was not fun. Let’s have a breath for love, a breath for Things Can Change, and a breath for I Am Okay.
- Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. May peacefulness prevail. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.
8 breaths for the good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- This week was full of Colliding Wish Magic, which was almost the topic of this week’s Wishes. But I got my wish anyway, without even writing it. For example, I had put aside a couple of the Fluent Self calendars for friends, without having a sense of for whom, because I had a wish to delight someone with a surprise. Incoming Me pointed me in the right direction, and without having any backstory, I wound up sending calendars to a friend who just went through this intense baptism experience of realizing that this year is about Freedom (the theme of my calendar), and another friend who had just made a wish for a beautiful calendar and didn’t know where she’d find it. I love so much when wishes collide. A breath of joy.
- The beautiful boy turned forty and we ran off together to the coast and walked under the most astonishing star-filled sky of wild iridescent sailing cloud formations and a glorious full moon. A breath for glow and sweetness.
- The moon whispered a secret to me about staying anchored in turbulent times through steady quiet trust in both gravity and my own power, and it told me to say, “I AM OF THE EARTH”, so I did, and there was some big magic there. A breath for being able to listen.
- The plus side of my housemate moving out is that it is now much easier to sense what in my home sparks joy, and what needs to exit. A breath for sweet clarity.
- I am doing a super scary-for-me thing and not freaking out about it, and this is kind of amazing. A breath for this.
- Fourteen and a half hours of dance training and practice in two days! I am so hardcore, you guys. Learning new things, practicing being a panther, it’s fun and exhilarating and slightly terrifying, but I feel so excited about this. A breath for process.
- This may be a time of big upheaval and transitions, but it’s all things that really need to be happening, and I am at previously unknown levels of Yes This Is Right, which helps a lot. A breath of I Can Do This Even Though It’s Hard.
- Thankfulness. Treasure in the form of mexican food with Richard, returning all the keys to the ballroom and getting our deposit back, soup stock simmering on the stove, surprisingly calm lovely winter weather at the Oregon coast, extra socks. Everything is okay and so much is good. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
Sparklepoints, superpowers, salve, fake band of the week!
Current ops and forward movement!
Took two days off (rest days) from the Wild Montage op, and that shifted something for me. It’s still super hard, but feeling good about it. Day 31! Still working on The Namer Names and The Studio Op, and getting ready for the Fountaining op. Thank you, fractal flowers.
I am bestowing vast quantities of sparklepoints upon myself like a fairground stripper, and you are welcome to do the same for you.
Superpowers I had this week…
Last week I asked for the powers of Easy Clarity, Colliding Wish Magic Everywhere, and I Glow So Hard. I’m kind of amazed to report that yes, all of things were part of my week. Another reminder that this practice is deceptive — it seems so simple and even silly, and yet, there it is.
Powers I want.
I want the powers of I Am So Good At Easing & Releasing, New Ways Of Seeing Freedom, unfettered joy, and a thing that is like colliding wish magic but specifically for when I have a No to something, other people feel relieved that this is my no, or maybe I am okay with them not liking it, or some form of It All Works Out So Well and There Was Nothing To Worry About, Of Course!
The Salve of Nothing To Worry About…
My wonderful uncle, Svevo, likes to say that there’s a pretty low ROI on worry. And this is so true, but it doesn’t always make it easier to not-worry, especially when worrying is such a big part of your genetic and cultural heritage like it is mine.
This salve brings so much ease, and sweet steady calm into the picture. As you massage it into your skin, you feel this bubbly lightness, and for some reason, it just doesn’t occur to you to worry.
This salve is made of equal parts Grace, Presence, Warmth, Trust, Devotion, Self-Treasuring and [All Is And Will Be Well].
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band is:
The Good-Mood Chippers
Their latest album is They Charge By The Inch, and it turns out this band is just one guy.
TWO ANNOUNCEMENTS!
We are doing some reconfiguring and Congruencing, and the shop will disappear soon, so if there was something you wanted to buy, go ahead and do that before it’s gone. More explanations about [reasons] to come, but it’s all good stuff, and if something is speaking to you, this is a good time.
Also! We sold out of all the Playground Care Packages, but I was able to put together one more box! The theme is Joyful Play, it’s $25 plus shipping, contact the First Mate if you want it.
How was your week?
Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.
And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!
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That is some powerful salve. I am accepting it gratefully, and giving it time to absorb.
My week? Has been kind of rough. Lots of work, a few curve balls, spots of struggle. I also fell into a horrible mood today, which is coloring things right now. I want to stay aware of that.
Good things: winning a prize, hot drinks on cold days, self-kindness, a soft duvet that helps me sleep, making time for music-making, smooth pens gliding across smooth paper. Oh, and I feel ripe for wishing, and come to think of it, that’s not a bad feeling at all.
Lighting my candle, and sending love… <3
<3 <3 <3
HELLO CHICKEN!
Today is Chickenday (because we said so!) and we are chickening (because we can!)
What’s been working?
+[classified information; redacted!]
+listening for Yes
+Operation Banana Tar. Remembering that my body is full of messages and also that my body IS the message. [crackle crackle crackle on the airwaves]…aaaaand all the clues and answers lead to the Treasure, which is also MY BODY, this body, this one right here.
+Operation Bee Pee. Everything is so great when the Bee gets to Pee! Making lots and lots of Pee for my Bee! YES FOREVER TO THIS.
+Steadily, Steadily Rocking. Mmmmhmmmmm.
Next time I might…
+Remember the Steadiness. Let the Scared Sad Self from the Past rest in the reassurance of the Steadiness. Remember that the Steadiness is not the Op itself; it is mine, it is from ME.
+Play with [fzzhhhfffpppp] like playing with [thhbtthhbthhhbbttt]. Create ways to practice it instead of waiting till it’s One Exit Only time.
+Remember just to play. Just play. It is allowed, and in fact, essential!!!!
Breathing now for tangles, for mysteries, for enigmas.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Spooky Ghost. Why did you get so spooked, sweet little Ghost? What do you need so that you feel safe? We are learning how to do this. We can breathe for this.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Ninja Toes. What clue are you? What is your answer? Are you a key? What do you unlock?
+Breathing for the Mystery of Lonely Banana Pants. Why are you so lonely? What friends would you like to have? Where can we find you some friends, Lonely Banana Pants?
+Breathing for the Mystery of Thirsty Ghost. Why are you so thirsty? What do you think will happen to the Water Supply? What can we do so that you feel certain the Water Supply will remain plentiful?
+Breathing for the Mystery of Magic Carpet Ride. Will there be another Ride? Will I be on the Ride? Will there be Rainbow Markers on the Carpet too? When will I solve this one?
+Breathing for the Mystery Formerly Known As Magic Bus and/or Red Curry Noodles. Breathing for whatever it has evolved into. Breathing for the Future Me who knows what it will evolve into, and even knows from the future what it has evolved into now. Breathing for Agent Aestar and Agent Cole and their Radio Show, which is secretly unearthing (!!!) clues for me about this mission/mystery. Breathing Steadiness, from within me, into this Mystery.
+Breathing for the Lingering Remnants of the [xXxXxXxX] Mystery, which is mostly gone, but not completely. Breathing for the Switch that is still Flipped, and how well that’s working, and how safe it’s keeping me from THIS one. Yes. Thank you, Flipped Switch. Thank you also for being really fun to say. Flipped Switch Flipped Switch Flipped Switch. ::giggles::
+Breathing for the Mystery of Hibernating Bear. Breathing yes into this, because as mysterious as it is, it is also not mysterious at all; it is true, and it is yes, and I am here with it always (and especially right now as it unfolds before my very eyes).
+Breathing for the Melted Ice Cream. Oh well. Saw that one coming. That’s okay. Breathing Steadiness. From within me. Where it lives.
Breathing for the donuts, the delights, the sparkling wonderments!
+Breathing for the Sparkling Boat Ride of Rock Steady. Holy fuck!!!!
+Breathing for Sorcerer of the Wildeeps, which is not a proxy, but a gorgeous book I read this week which was so good I had to lie down for half an hour after reading it and just let my body shake as it attempted to integrate the gloriousness of this book. Highly recommend.
+Breathing for the kickass Pad Thai that I made this week, from my own recipe, which is so totally fucking kickass that I don’t even have to tweak it when I make it anymore. https://choirqueer.wordpress.com/2015/03/31/sweetnsour-pad-thai/
+Breathing for the Bee Pee, which is so perfect in every possible way I can’t even begin to express it.
+Breathing for the Rhythm Cabin, which is there just where and when it is, and whose rhythms are now my rhythms, and it is good and it is good and it is really really good.
+Breathing for the Me Who Knows How to Do Stuff. HOLY WOW I LIKE THIS ME A LOT. <3
+Breathing for giant stacks of library books, soy milk with chocolate syrup, self-striping yarn, coconut soap, fleecy blankets, and all manner of delightful things that exist in the world.
+Breathing for breathing, because breathing is good, and drinking water for drinking water, because drinking water is good, and eating for eating, because eating is good, and being alive is good, and all of this is so good so good so good. YEAH.
+Breathing for the Top Secret Satellite. Top Secret!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
Breathing Yes.
Breathing Original Superpowers.
Breathing Connection to the Me Who Knows.
Breathing the Stories.
Breathing Yes. Breathing. Yes.
And say hello to our fabulous Fake Band of the Week: Asterisk Train! Would you believe it, they have a new album that just came out this week? It is called Wrong Hashtag, and you can pick up a copy at the merch table.
“May induce giggling.” Awesome, I will definitely have some of that salve, thank you. Maybe in cocktail form, too. <3
Hard this week:
– Wanting more momentum, and simultaneously wanting to tv-binge on the couch. A breath for fear and perfectionism, searching for confidence to take steps.
– Omnipresent worry about money, my capacity to generate. A breath for struggling to trust the clues in front of me, all of which are telling me to relax and to forget the timeline.
Good this week:
So. Much. Good.
– Rising energy (on all the levels)
– Receiving and recognizing clues!
– Asking for help, and feeling angels and allies show up.
– So much beauty around me. Light, color, trees, birds, mountains. So much to delight in.
– Experiencing the miracles of the gwishing process – desire, get clear on the qualities, ask, let go of specific outcomes, allow for Right Timing and Or Something Even Better, receive what shows up. So much treasure.
– Had an incident, sat with the discomfort instead of diving into distraction. Was able to tune in to my own channel, and access so much clarity, support, and belovedness. A breath for Practice, and a breath for the superpower of I Am My Own Beloved.
– Writing. Another breath for Practice, and for the allies and spaces (including this one!) that have been so deeply transformative for me.
– Did I mention rising energy? I'm beginning to feel (and relish) my own power. A gorgeous calendar tells me this is the month of Freedom, and oh, wow, am I Here and Ready.
Heart full of gratitude and love.
<3
mmm yes to relishing your own power! I am feeling similar rising energy and it is so glorious.
So happy to be Chickening! Happy sunday and cluck!
what an intense week! it included [minor medical procedure involivng sedation] and then a cold, and then pushing myself too soon to go back to work. it included the re-iteration of so mnay old stories and i dont want to give into that
the sucks:
-challenges around monday
-lots of migraines
-still chaing to catch up
-behind at work
but lots of sparklea;
-full moon
-writing
-warmer weather
-praxs
I’ve been thinking about the nature of wanting, the way it feels in my body, and the voices I hear when I am wanting something. Sometimes I want things so badly it HURTS… Then trusting the slow beautiful flower of Time is exquisitely, maddeningly difficult. I think in my universe there is an important relationship between Time and Wanting. I’m excited to seek further.
Difficult this week… needing patience in vast-river quantities. Too much Forward and not enough Now. Crying inconsolably. Yet More Rigged Existence Surprises.
Pleasant this week… Feeling Belonging, familiar faces. Weirdly, seeing [person of INCREDIBLE ANGST 5 years ago] was calming and delightfully reassuring… like a friendly hug. Yay for Time. !!!
Knowing my No.
Super conversations, new friendships, old friendships. Recognizing that I truly helped someone in exactly the way I hoped to. Staying present and remembering, 10 or 10,000 times a day if I need to, that WHEREVER I”M AT IS OKAY. Music. Solidarity. Communication without words. Breathing.
>> while Andrew Jackson is pretty much the last person I want between my thighs, I made it work <<
I live in the same county as Jackson's estate and a bunch of buildings named after him, and this line is going to make me grin like a grinning thing all week long. Thank you for that!
Hello, Sunday. Toda raba, week.
What worked? Baking bread. Using the garlic jar as a candle holder.
What next? It might be time to acknowledge that on most weeknights, what I want to do is go straight home to the dog and the stove, no matter how shrilly Past Me insists I'm going to regret missing out on the jazz workshop and trombone recitals and other fun things. Even though Past Me also has a raftload of regrets from not spending time at home studying/practicing/housekeeping, so. Deep breaths and compassion for the present and the phantoms.
Hard, crusty, etc.
1. Still the rot
2. Still the itchings
3. Death of a colleague
4. Seeing some of the hateful comments directed at the Edmonton Oilers for using Pride Tape
5. Craving soda
6. Wanting more sleep
7. Some sales would be nice, too
8. Manicure debacle
Good, fulfilling, and the like:
1. Old dog romping through the snow
2. Good writing week
3. Solid study sessions, too
4. My sweetie got home safe from the DR in spite of Jonas
5. Feeling enough confidence in the future to cull the old tomato vines
6. Australian Open = doubles on TV courts
7. Cauliflower hummus
8. Snow half-day coincided with my need for more sleep
Warm wishes to all y'all.
So I say
Thank you for the salve, the salve you’re bringing
(Humming this in the tune of Abba’s Thank you for the music).
Cluck cluck chicken!
The hard:
– church boiler broken. Colder inside than out, I swear.
– Not knowing how to switch off.
– everything is so damn loud. You know. People talking. People typing. My own damn footsteps.
– noticing how much I need looking after and how much I’ve failed to look after myself in the past
The good:
– amazing immersive day of work on Friday. I sat down at half past nine and at one o’clock I had a finished cover. Then I did the same thing after lunch and at half past five I had finished everything. Moon work clock works.
– another new opportunity
– Empowered in Velvet (name it and make it so!)
(Following on from Leocadia) Thanks for all the joy you’re bringing! Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty, what would life be?
What worked this week?
Pausing, often, to think about whether what I was doing in that moment was my True Yes, & if it wasn’t, actually stopping what I was doing. (The second part is REALLY HARD.)
The hard:
– Listening to my roommate shyly offer something he spent the day working on to his wife for approval (after being sure to say that of course she’s done far more than he has & it’s really not very good), & hearing her tear it to pieces with a sniff. A breath for not being able to save anyone.
– Not enough time to even do what I _want_ to do, much less that & all the stuff I _need_ to do, because the Game is Rigged. A breath for patience, & for getting there when I get there.
The good:
– FINALLY finding thrift store sheets that a) will fit on my bed, & b) will not make my skin crawl off when I try sleeping on them, & FINALLY getting my bed remade with clean sheets. It’s been so long I don’t even wanna say, because with only one set of sheets that fit the bed & no functioning dryer in the house, washing the sheets was an all-day operation that could only be done when I had the energy & the weather was warm enough to dry the sheets by midafternoon. A breath for a good nights’ sleep!
– Thinking of more ways to make it easier to make my bed a safe, comfortable, happy place for me. I like plans, & making plans, & doing the plans, & checking things off, & I like it WAY BETTER when my life is happier afterwards too. A breath for plans, & homemade pillowcases.
– My roommates’ new cat, who is an ABSOLUTE DELIGHT, such a sweet child, who sleeps on his back & chirrups & coos & makes the om nom noise & is slowly getting used to me laughing at him because he is ONGOINGLY HILARIOUS. A breath for awesome cats, which is basically all of them.
– Yesterday I took a NAP which I hadn’t done in AGES because my bed was GROSS. A breath for NAPPING.
– My roomate is starting to turn to me to show off stuff he’s done, & I am able to say HEY THAT IS AWESOME GOOD WORK, & he GLOWS, & it is lovely. I can’t save him, but I can help him feel a little better about things. A breath for being able to do what I can.
This week’s salve: Dumping some in the bath, because in my world a bath is NEVER a bad idea.
mmmm sheets! they are transformative, and yes, the saga of washing when conditions are limiting, I know that too. here’s to many more happy naps! <3
I am learning to Chicken for myself in my journal and this is the second week! I am a chicken novice haha. But from watching you I have learned so much, like how it’s ok if it’s Toozday and the chicken spans 10 days.
Because wow, what a week. It’s been one of those whirlwinds of both intense good and intense stress where it doesn’t even occur to you (me) until days later that A LOT HAS JUST HAPPENED. In an eety beety amount of time. Here’s to accidentally bending space-time like an excited unicorn ! (And to recognizing the need for much-deserved and overdue rest).
I love love the salve you posted this week and will be helping myself to lots! *Giggle*
The superpower I want this week is the power of listening to myself no matter how loud it gets.
so many Wham Boom!’s, too.
I hope my journaling chickens will get more flow-y! I guess I’m planting that wish 🙂
yay chickening! <3 <3 <3
also “I AM OF THE EARTH” is so so beautiful and I may be whispering that now whenever I feel off-kilter, disconnected, or dis-enchanted somehow. Big magic indeed! <3
Yes! Same here. This resonated so strongly, I felt like I needed to rediscover magic.