It’s definitely, definitely May, and I am ready to say hello to May in its May-ness. Hi, there. Hi, there.
And I decided I want to use that set of four questions from the book about Crucial Conversations that I’ve been working with. So. Let’s try that and see what happens.
Hello, May! What do I really want for me in relation to May?
I want steadiness.
I want to feel grounded, steady, energized and full of vitality.
I want to welcome May with open arms, even when I feel ambivalent about some of the things that have come in with the month.
What else?
To appreciate the useful things that past me has done to set things up for me-now. And to be patient about the parts I don’t understand yet.
To remember TRUTH:
How I take care of myself is the process. It’s not something that happens alongside the process.
And I want to remember, as always, that now is not then.
May and I get to have a brand new relationship each year. We don’t have to repeat old patterns if we don’t want to. Now-me and now-May can figure things out.
And what do I want for May?
I want May to feel appreciated! And welcome!
May should know that I adore all this sun. And that even though I can’t be outside frolicking as much as I would like, I’m still appreciating the SPRING of it all.
May, please know that I am excited about all the new things! I am.
And yes, okay, I was very grumbly at the beginning of the month about its arrival. That’s because I was locked into all these schedules and timetables, and giant throngs of monsters were telling me that we were BEHIND, and also DOOM!
The truth is, though, I am happy you are here. I am happy for good smells and for sitting in the garden. I am happy for Rally (Rally!), and I am looking forward to my sweet, sweet holiday.
And what do I want for the relationship between me and May?
Comfort. Integrity. Curiosity. Patience.
Exploration. Buoyancy. Silliness. Play. Streamers.
How would I act differently if this were really and truly what I wanted?
I might take more time to get clarity on what I want.
Having this spaciousness might make it easier to stop blaming time for going faster than I’d planned/expected, which might make it easier to deal with where we are right now.
But mainly I’d go outside and blow a bunch of bubbles, and that seems like a pretty good plan.
Join in if you like! The commenting blanket fort.
This practice has been changing every month.
For variations, peek at: July / August / September / October / November / December / January / February / March / April.
You are welcome to write your own hello letter to May , if you like.
Or leave little pebbles for my love letter. Or drop off some gwishes for the month.
As always, we make this a safe space by not telling each other what to do, how to be or how to feel. We make room for each other.
Wishing you the most beautiful May possible. May it be full of unexpectedly good things.
Follow
May. You ARE here. Hello, even though I too feel ambivalent about what I had been expecting you to contain, signify, etc. Of course when I say YOU, I really mean where I thought IIII would be at, which I’m not, entirely, and expectations vs reality and the gap and the ouchey of it all. The ouchey of ‘it’s not what I was expeeeeectiiiing!!!’. THAT’S what I’m ambivalent about. Yes.
So, having clarified that bit where does that leave us?
What would I like for ME for this month?
Some spaciousness, compassion, maybe even clarity, around the grief I feel for two ‘lost’ people in my life who have their birthdays in you. Definitely need that.
More of the same for the grieving for past-me who was a bit bloody mental really, and the joooouurney we have been on this last few years, especially the identity and relationship de/reconstruction of the last two years. Safe rooms, patience, understanding and forgiveness. Now is not then. We cannot know where we would be if things had been otherwise so I would like to drop the question.
I would also like energy, rhythm, genuine taking care of myself instead of cheap and nasty indulgences which leave a regret hangover, and masses of progress on the Glorious Greenhouse, in real-world, real-time ACTION even if we don’t have a plan. In fact, we’ve done dozens if not hundreds of Greenhouse Plans in our life so this May I would like to play with Intuitive Building instead.
What would I like for May?
For you to be appreciated for everything you contain. For the hard bits you contain that have been hard before to Not Necessarily feed into the Story of What May Is. To be understood as Just Now.
For our relationship?
Presence. Newness. Amnesty. Sovereignty.
If that were Really Truly what I wanted, what would I be doing?
Allowing the ‘Look! Story’ proof-finding parts of me to find their ‘proof’ without berating them or believing them. To acknowledge that they MAY (haha!) be right. Or, you know, not. Either one. Who knows? Let’s keep seeing what ELSE is true.
Playing around with Radical Responsibility as much as I can.
Which will also require courage and compassion. Maybe some non-violent communicating with myself to clarify Who I Am. (Maybe even using that ugly app even though I Am A Person Who Despises Ugly If Functional Apps. Really Useful Information!! My apps will have to be beautiful. Good to know.)
Okay May. You’re cool, I’m cool. Let’s do this!
Mmm, a May full of unexpected good things. That is what I want.
{Silent Retreat}
Hello, May. Gosh. You are…lively. From one angle, you look like an octopus; from another, you look like a pinwheel. No wonder I don’t feel like I have a handle on you yet.
(Well, and there was that surgery thing. But then my birthday was fantastic, and the celebrating isn’t over…)
What do I want in relation to you? I want to feel like your queen. 🙂 I want to tend to my tasks and govern my time and other treasures with an aura of abundance instead of fretfulness and dread.
What do I want for you? For Future Me and my beloveds to remember you with happiness.
And what do I want for our relationship? Water. Money. Knowhow. Balance. The right words and the right silences.
How would I act differently…?
… Allow lots and lots and LOTS of time for getting to places and finding parking spots, both metaphorically and literally. There’s a lot of stuff in my way, both metaphorically and literally.
… Spend time with the bike.
… Set aside an alternate day for Shabbat, seeing that going unplugged this weekend is not feasible.
… Using stickers to get unstuck. Stealth playfulness!
Waving to everyone from the fort with tinsel tentacles.
🙂
I have serious issues about it being May, and these are partly evidenced by the fact that I keep accidentally writing “March” at the top of my daily tracking sheets. It has helped tremendously, since yesterday, to make a personal declaration of May 2012 as Permission Month. May I? Why yes, I may! (I like it much better as a verb.) So now, May 11th is really Permission Day #11 in disguise.
Oh, hello, May.
What I want for me in May: Sparkling. Strengthening. Sovereignty (I shall be Queen of the May!).
What I want for May in May: Beautiful weather. Puffy white clouds. Permission (thanks, Tracy!). Possibility (come what May!).
What I want for me and May together: smatterings of delicious spring fever, and the space and freedom to indulge it, just a bit. Lightness. Light.
What I would do if these wantings were true: Play. Play everywhere. Play with everything. Play! The play’s the thing!
@Tracy – I love turning May into the month of permission. I’m going to borrow this. Why yes, I may! Why yes, I may!
YAY
The Four Questions turned out to be especially powerful for Hello, May. I’ve handwritten nine pages so far. The answers led to further explorations and questions. I won’t post all of it here. I may take some of it to the Floop.
Hello, May:
What I want for me in relation to May: replenishment, and openness to what is offered.
What I want for May: to be full of promise and hope, growth and beauty, and rest.
What I want for the relationship between myself and May: for it to be full of love and acceptance.
What would I do differently if that were true? Purposeful effective action helps a lot in response to depletion and overstress. I’d do that. I’d remember that I don’t have to do it all and that I have resources and skills.