A breath for these tough times

Sending out extra wishes of Safety & Sanctuary for everyone in the path of the hard things, what a scary time we are in, inhaling and exhaling, for compassion, strength, courage, swift and steady miracles.

Announcement / get your copy of Emergency Calming Down Techniques

I’ve been reeling hard lately in some cursed combination of heartache, numbness, political anxiety, winter stuff and some wild panic episodes.

Have been holding on (for dear life) to my Emergency Calm The Hell Down Techniques from a long time ago, and it’s been helping.

I am giving away a copy of these (ebook + audio recordings) to anyone who gives any sum of money to the appreciation funds / discretionary fund in the hopes that we can all keep practicing together, for each other and for the collective, and also for ourselves in these scary times. ❤️

Obsessed with congruence

MMA, not the kind you think

I make a notation in my notebook each morning.

MMA makes it looks like I’m doing mixed martial arts, which would be rad.

But it actually stands for Mild Morning Anxiety, which is sometimes a win, aka not having excruciating morning anxiety for hours, or even a bout of run of the mill anxiety when I wake up.

Though lately it has been more of a frustration to note my Mild Morning Anxiety.

ZERO

I keep having a good solid round of five or six days of ZERO, which is both my preferred amount of anxiety, and favorite triumphant morning notation.

ZERO! NONE! THE BEST!

Yes please, that’s what I want. More of that.

It feels like things are trending in that direction, maybe the ZERO will become the new normal, and I won’t even need to write it down.

And then MMA will start back up again. Here we are. Okay. Here we are.

You are here

Signpost:

You are here. In mild morning anxiety.

Okay, at least we know where we are.

When will my beloved ZERO return to me from the war?

I have been in a state of ZERO and it is delicious.

And some days we have MMA. That’s just how it is right now.

When will my beloved ZERO return to me from the war?????? I am waiting for it longingly.

In the meantime, yes, noting it. The signpost of you are here, right now, for the moment.

For the present moment. Not forever. Just right now.

A breath for that.

Countering

So far the best ways to counter the MMA, for me, seem to be some combination of gentle yoga before bed, not reading news, taking my supplements, doing the calming techniques, and jogging or circle-walking to disperse the anxiety energy.

And, moment by moment, continuing to practice not being impressed.

“Okay, we’re back on Mild Morning Anxiety, it happens, it’s temporary and of this moment, I don’t have to like it, it’s just where we are right now. I am noticing my anxiety, making room for it to move through me and exit my body, practicing Acknowledgment & Legitimacy.”

We are where we are where we are. Present with what is, not impressed by the anxiety. Having a very reasonable human reaction to the current realities, and also energy can move, that’s the nature of energy.

This energy can move and it will move; it will pass. DISPERSE, DISPERSE.

A candle lit in service of the dispersing. As a reminder of the nature of dispersing. Energy wants to move.

Calm, focused, motivated, invigorated

After I morning-jog or morning-dance-party or whatever form of Stimming du jour feels necessary to disperse the energy of anxiety and agitation, I do my morning slow yoga aka bobcat stretching time.

The intention I name and set has been the same for about a month now: calm, focused, motivated, invigorated.

I am calm, focused, motivated, invigorated.

A breath for this.

A breath for this

A breath for these qualities and superpowers. Calm, focused, motivated, invigorated. A breath for everything they hold within them.

Oh wow, what beautiful wishes.

What do I know about this? What lives inside each beautiful wish?

Calm: What do I know about my wish

Calm is about STEADINESS and the earth. I am of the earth, grounded in sanctuary.

Calm is about knowing that I am not going to be shaken even when everything is (or seems to be) shaking.

See also: the wild winds rattling my house, the ongoing drought in New Mexico where I live but also more generally the terrible news, the circumstances, etc.

Things might feel shaky, but I can call on a walking stick. I am grounded, of the earth, drawing power from the earth. Stability. A calming breath.

Moving through.

Calm is related to staying curious

Calm is about staying curious; being less reactive and more responsive. There is a gentleness to calm. Receptive and ready, but not alarmed.

Calm is the earth that everything else is planted in. The focus, the motivation, the sense of being invigorated, these are fruit trees rooted in calm.

I am calm not because everything is fine; I invoke calm as one possible approach to try on in response to everything not being fine.

Peace within, regardless of the wild winds

Calm doesn’t mean that everything is okay. Obviously it is not okay, there is so much that is not okay.

Calm means that things are how they are, and I am not fighting that. I can move through chaotic times and fight the good fight as needed, and still maintain an access a sense of stability and Peace Within.

Calm is a channel. I am learning how to spend time in the places where I can also be a channel.

Focused: What do I know about my wish?

Focused is about an intentional narrowing. Drawing in to the center. Strengthening from the center. Being a glowing ball of energy.

Focused is acknowledging that I can’t think about all the things, or I will get overwhelmed. Instead I do one thing at a time, take one small and intentional step at a time, trusting in the fractal magic.

Each step I take, each motion, each breath, is supporting all the other wishes.

Untangling one dilemma is untangling all the dilemmas. Everything is interconnected.

Or at least, that’s what I imagine and pretend, because this helps me stay focused on right here, right now.

Intentional forward movement. Reaching and extending. Striking and staying striking. Like a big cat.

A zooming in

Focus can feel like a zooming in, but it is also about attention and concentration. And these are about choices and discernment; staying intentional.

Where do I put my attention and my energy?

What matters to me?

Am I acting like I know who I am…?

And if not, what would help shift that? What motivates me towards focus, or encourages me to stay with this focus?

Motivated: What do I know about my wish

Motivated is about DESIRE. It is about MOJO.

Motivated is feeling pulled towards; it’s magnetic and dance-ey.

I used to think that it was about discipline, but now I think it’s about being okay with letting myself want something, which is brave and sometimes scary.

But what if brave and scary can be fun too in this context? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.

Invigorated: What do I know about my wish

Invigorated is energized, sparkly, effervescent, bubbling up.

Invigorated is MOJO BACK. Invigorated is full of aliveness. Invigorated feels radiant.

When I am invigorated, I feel light and fun and also focused, motivated and calm. Like when I have a good obsession. A well-directed obsession.

Talk to me about WELL DIRECTED. Talk to me about OBSESSIONS and a good obsession.

Well-directed

I love the double meaning or many meanings of DIRECTED.

Directed in the sense of indicated, pointing in a direction. I am directing my attention here, pouring all my energy into this channel.

Directed like a movie. Someone knows where everything goes or should go. There is a unifying aesthetic.

Directed like a magic wand. Directed like targeted. Directed like HERE IS YOUR NEXT STAGE DIRECTION.

When something is directed well, it is calm, focused, motivated and invigorated.

When something is directed well, you can feel how intentional every aspect of it is.

You have to be a little obsessive to direct something at all, never mind well, and I love getting a little obsessive, I love a well-directed obsession.

Congruence & Gleaming

Congruence or Congruencing is the word I use for “organizing”, because I simply never wish to organize anything or put something in order, and if I put organizing on my list, it will not happen.

Gleaming is the word I use for cleaning, for the same reasons.

I may not feel like organizing or cleaning, but I like the feeling of congruence and gleaming.

Congruence is about harmony and harmonizing. It is about going by feel, an intuitive practice rather than something prescriptive.

Gleaming is sparkling, alive, enlivened, shining, radiant. It feels good to be in a gleaming place.

It feels good to be in a congruent, harmonious environment.

Obsession as a door

The only (or best) way I can get myself to focus on Congruence & Gleaming is to get a little obsessed with them.

Last week i was obsessive about Spanish and Arabic, to the point of spending over four hours a day on them, which was great for Spanish and Arabic, and arguably not great for any of the many other things that needed doing and did not get done.

Though again, everything is fractal and connected, so I’m sure it supported my other wishes in some as-yet-unknown ways. Mainly it reminded me of the power of a good obsession.

A quest and a question

So now I am sitting with the the question (and quest) of how can I get that obsessive about literally anything that needs doing.

What are my Obsession Sessions when it comes to Congruencing and Gleaming.

Obsession is the door to Congruencing & Gleaming. And Congruencing & Gleaming are the doors (for me, at least) to creativity, expansion and play. I thrive when things feel congruent and gleaming.

A Good Obsession

Maybe I’m not ready yet to be or get obsessed with Gleaming & Congruencing, but I can wish that wish and then obsess over something else as a proxy practice.

For example, I can be The Jam Maker, and make ginger habanero jam like I did last weekend (a test batch), and fold, hide or or at least seed the wish of being someone who is obsessed with Gleaming & Congruencing inside of that practice.

Yes. Try something new. Learn, notice, take notes. What can jam-making teach me about my wish?

Or I can be obsessed with hiking, something I already love and enjoy, and use that obsession to learn about being someone who is obsessed with Gleaming & Congruencing.

Meanwhile, Gleaming & Congruencing also support both hiking and jam-making.

Yes, all obsessions support the other obsessions

All obsessions support the other obsessions.

Each wish supports the other wishes.

That’s why it helps to focus on a wish that feels non-scary and attainable; let it do the heavy lifting and reveal the clues.

And if I can stay playful and curious, each obsession returns me to passion, aliveness, being someone who is interacting with the world around me as well as the world inside me. Peace within.

Peace within

Calm, focused, motivated, invigorated. A little obsessed.

A little obsessed.

What fun.

Twenty five years ago I thought that Peace Within sounded both completely unattainable and very boring, why would you want that? But now it sounds like a fun experiment.

Even if it’s just a moment here and there. What a cool thing to experience, what a cool thing to pursue.

Even a moment is an opportunity to anchor that sensation into the body-mind, preserve it for later, call on it in a moment of need. Can we find the pull towards playful experimenting?

What is next?

I am going to spend this period from full moon to full moon learning more about Gleaming & Congruencing specifically, and about obsessions more generally.

Currently trying to temper my languages obsession in the sense that I want to stay obsessed but devote less time to the learning itself, and more time to letting the learning land deep within me.

Also I’m hoping that by spreading the obsession energy around, I will be able to give sunshine and water to my love of languages without neglecting the other crops.

We try things, let’s try things

As always, I’m going to try to stay curious and playful and compassionate. Not judging myself for perceived screw-ups; it’s all part of the experiment and the practicing.

We try things. We learn. We shift the parameters of the experiment. We drop in a sugar cube, to add sweetness and distract the devil, or to distract ourselves.

We stay attuned to joy when we can, and when we can’t, we make room for that too.

Making room for what is, lighting a candle

Sometimes trying things does not feel joyful, like with my ongoing practice of trying to quit MMA. It might not be joyful, but it’s interesting. And interesting is a starting point too.

Can I stay fascinated by the process of experimentation? Can I keep treasuring myself to the best of my ability, and stay attuned to whatever supports that…let’s find out.

Calm, focused, motivated, invigorated. What beautiful wishes. Let’s see where they lead.

Let’s light a candle, drop in a sugar cube and let the magic bubble up, and trust that whatever bubbles up is useful.

Come play in the comments, I appreciate the company

Leave a pebble (o) to say you were here, so I know I’m not doing this alone.

Also it feels good to pick up a pebble and place it somewhere, I have noticed.

You are invited to share any related situations or musings of your own if you like, or name any wishes that are in process.

And of course you are welcome to share anything that sparked for you while reading, anything that helped, clues received, or anything on your mind, wish some wishes, process what’s percolating…

I am lighting a candle for us and our beautiful heart-wishes. What a brave thing it is to allow ourselves to want something better for us and for the world.

Or if there’s anything you’d like to explore further or toss into the wishing pot, the healing power of the collective is no small thing, companionship helps.

Whatever comes to mind or heart. Let’s support each other’s hope-sparks…

Housekeeping note: You can subscribe to posts by email again!

If you aren’t seeing these updates in your in your email and want to, you can can solve that here.

This will pop up a new page on Follow.It that lets you subscribe via email, newsletter, or RSS reader. They say “expect 50 stories a week”, and that’s a very imaginary number, once a week is the dream.

I am emailing copies of the Emergency Calming Techniques package!

Anyone who gives to the Discretionary this week (more info below) will get my Emergency Calming Techniques package by email as a pdf. I am only checking email twice a week because I no longer have wifi at my place, long story, so be patient with me but if it doesn’t show up within the week then let me know!

I have some ideas for the next ebook too but if you do too, shoot me an email or share in the comments.

A request!

If you received clues or perspective or want to send appreciation for the writing and work/play we do here, I appreciate it tremendously.

I am accepting support (with joy & gratitude) in the form of Appreciation Money to the Discretionary Fund. Asking is not where my strength resides but Brave & Stalwart is the theme these days, and pattern-rewriting is the work, it all helps with fixing the many broken things.

And if those aren’t options, I get it, you can light a candle for support (or light one in your mind!), share this with someone who loves words, tell people about these techniques, approaches and themes, send them here, it all helps, it’s all welcome, and I appreciate it and you so much. ❤️