A breath for these tough times

Sending out extra wishes of Safety & Sanctuary for everyone in the path of the hard things, what a scary time we are in, inhaling and exhaling, for compassion, strength, courage, swift and steady miracles.

Announcement / get your copy of Emergency Calming Down Techniques

I’ve been reeling hard lately in some cursed combination of heartache, numbness, political anxiety, winter stuff and some wild panic episodes.

Have been holding on (for dear life) to my Emergency Calm The Hell Down Techniques from a long time ago, and it’s been helping.

I am giving away a copy of these (ebook + audio recordings) to anyone who gives any sum of money to the appreciation funds / discretionary fund in the hopes that we can all keep practicing together, for each other and for the collective, and also for ourselves in these scary times. ❤️

Receptivity to good surprises, and chasing the luck

Fully a yes

A friend of a friend was planning a yoga hour in the park, and if there are two things I love in this world, they are moving my body and being outdoors. Moving my body while breathing good fresh air in the company of majestic tree friends.

And if I can combine the two then all the better.

So even though it meant driving for an hour, I was fully a yes to this experience.

Unexpected precipitation of a sort

When we got to the park, the sprinklers were on, which was unexpected and surprising (why is the municipality wasting water during an extreme drought, for example, but also why is this happening now when we have class…)

We moved our practice to the sandy area where the play equipment lives, and made up a class of standing postures, while wearing shoes.

We used trees and playground equipment as props, letting them support our efforts and inspire new forms of twisting, stretching, bending and resting…

Necessity, the mother of invention

It was a playful and creative practice, born of necessity. We laughed a lot.

We brainstormed together and invented sequences. At the end of class, I walked through the sprinklers to cool down, and felt happy.

It wasn’t what I had been expecting, but it was something new and delightful instead. What is the superpower of exactly that? I want more of it.

The trail that wasn’t

I recently met someone who moved to my remote area of the wilderness after she retired from being a librarian in a city, and I invited her to go explore a local hike with me this past weekend.

It wasn’t a hike I’ve done before, but I had coordinates for a trailhead.

Plus I got a text from a hiking friend who recently did some trail-clearing in that area, and they said it was remote enough that we wouldn’t run into anyone, which seemed promising for a long holiday weekend.

Seemed like a good time.

So we drove eight miles down a rough dirt road until we saw the sign for the trailhead, but we couldn’t find the trail anywhere. We took some side roads, no luck there either.

She suggested that we drive further down the dirt road and see what we might see…

Seeing what you (might) see

The creek was dry, the rock formations were stunning, the ponderosa pines were enormous.

We drove and kept on driving, the dirt road seemingly endless.

A bobcat loped across the road in front of us, paying us no mind.

Eventually there was a campground to the left, and another sign for a trail, so we got our gear and hiked that trail for two hours, crossing the dry creek several times, climbing high up to a breathtaking vista, listening to the warblers, enjoying the breeze, watching a red tail hawk circle overhead.

Luckily, X

For me, the superpower of [Luckily, X] is about finding the good in a given situation, but more than that, it’s also about relaxing into the good.

Not forcing, not insisting, not tricking myself into believing that something is necessarily for the best when I don’t like it at first.

It’s more about the practice of staying receptive.

Receptive to a spark of wonder, a breath of delight and grounded enthusiasm, a soupçon of elation for what is or might be possible inside of the unexpected.

This is how I learned that the park being full of sprinklers was good actually, and not finding the trail I was looking for was good actually, because standing yoga in the sandy playground was full of fun challenges, and the surprise trail I did find was numinous.

Numinous

Let’s talk about NUMINOUS, speaking of superpowers related to the possible beauty and treasure that is to be found in encountering the unanticipated.

Numinous: mysterious, awe-inspiring, something that makes you pause and think, I am in a holy place or a holy moment, something spiritual arising.

It comes from the Latin word numen, which apparently can mean both “a nod of the head” and “divine will,” as in, the gods are nodding towards this.

The climb from the creek up onto the ridge was a numinous experience, a path into deep sanctuary space, so remote and so alive and self-contained in its magic.

Self-contained space

Not a hint of anything existing in the world beyond junipers, pines, tall grasses, astonishing vistas, rock formations and birds. The light was astonishing, the air crisp, the trees exuding love and contentment, everything shimmered.

I took out a bag of the candied ginger I made last week, and it tasted transcendent, as if it too had taken on some aspect of this magical place.

Possible to easy to elegant (the forever continuum)

I’m sure I’ve written about this here a dozen times already, but one of my favorite concepts from Feldenkrais is the notion of moving from the impossible to the possible, from possible to easy, from easy to elegant.

The idea is not that you progress in a linear way and then ta da, you’re done!

It’s more like, we can always be open to finding more possibility, more ease, more elegance…

A movement that used to be impossible can now be refined, and maybe there’s a new impossible to work on.

It isn’t about being done, or striving and achieving. It’s about presence.

It’s about being aware, and receptive, enhancing range of motion, enhancing grace, doing the work and then keeping on keeping on with doing the work (and play).

Applying this to the moment before the good surprises

I am thinking about this concept pretty much all the time, but right now I am thinking about it specifically in the context of staying receptive to good surprises.

For example, it was a bummer that there were sprinklers in the park so we couldn’t do park yoga, except then it turned out that standing sandbox yoga was really demanding and interesting; a fun challenge for body and brain.

It was a bummer that we couldn’t find the cool trail my friend told me about that I was excited to explore, except if we’d found it, we never would have found or even known about the Numinous Place that is now possibly my favorite hike in New Mexico.

The art of staying receptive

When it comes to this mindset of Staying Receptive to what is the treasure, what is lucky in this moment, what is the Luckily, X of this situation…

I guess here is the real question for me right now:

How do I move from this moment in which that desired state of receptivity feels kinds of impossible towards the moment of now it is possible and attainable?

And once it’s possible…

And once it’s possible, can I add some ease? Can I move towards enhancing it with some grace, some elegance?

And what about the moment or moments or minutes or [amounts of time] before the good surprises are revealed?

Can I channel Patience, Receptivity, Grace, Laughter, Play and Delight there too?

Can I treat this practice of STAY RECEPTIVE the same way I would a yoga pose or a movement sequence that feels impossible, or out of reach, but I’m working towards it until it is possible, and then easy, and then maybe more elegant…

The art of chasing the [whatever it is we are chasing]

There is a concept in energy work of chasing the pain.

What this means is, imagine you are doing energy work on a headache, and then the headache eases up, but now you have pain in your forearm. Something is working, something shifted! And also, the issue is not resolved, it just wandered to a new location!

You celebrate the movement, and the shifting, your body is communicating with you and that’s beautiful.

And also you are aware that there is still more work to do, and part of that work is not getting too frustrated, even though of course it’s so legitimate to feel frustrated about pain.

Similarly, it’s okay to feel annoyed when I can’t find the path, or there are sprinklers in the middle of my yoga space. Making room for the annoyance is part of staying receptive to what might be surprise good.

The art of focus shifting

I wrote last time about how after six months of heartbreak, I stopped waking up into terror and grief, and started waking up into bitterness.

This is very much like the head pain moving to the forearm. It’s still pain, but it’s new and different, and that’s a sign of movement.

This week, I woke up feeling sad every day, which is maybe not ideal, but it’s something other than bitter and other than anxiety and other than wanting to scream WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY into the abyss.

So that’s something

So that’s something.

Also I like that the bitterness only needed a week before shape-shifting. What will next week bring? Something even better, I hope.

Something is exiting my system, and I am supporting this process.

I am supporting this process with [Luckily, X], with park yoga, with visiting the numinous places and breathing deeply there, with staying playful and receptive, with bobcat sightings and ginger apple cake, and the what-if of maybe something better…

Shifting focus

What can I shift my focus to?

From what is impossible to what is possible, from what is possible to what is easy or at least easier, from what is easy to what is potentially graceful, elegant, playful, alive…

It’s good that things have been moving for me from angry to bitter to sad to whatever is next. We are chasing the pain, but it’s the heart pain, and I will follow it to wherever it leads.

Can I stay focused on bobcat grace and the flight of a hawk overhead, the loving trees, the gift of doing dancer pose with them even though that wasn’t on the agenda?

Intentional and playful, in equal amounts

In yoga class, N asked us to come up with a new moon intention, and what came up for me immediately was this:

I AM A POWERFUL PANTHER: INTENTIONAL AND PLAYFUL IN EQUAL AMOUNTS

What do I know about this so far

Talk to me about being a powerful panther.

Talk to me about intentional and playful in equal amounts.

I think this is about strength and grace, but also about staying flexible and being willing to wait something out. Mainly I think it is about balancing intentionality with a playful spirit.

This means willingness to adapt, willingness to rest, willingness to let things be unexpected, and explore what is, instead of staying focused on what isn’t.

*If this sounds not-easy, I think that’s fair! And yet, it’s intriguing, right? I know!

What is next

I am taking these themes (intentionality & playfulness, luckily X) into this next month or into the summer, to see where they take me and how they land inside me.

Again, not forcing anything or trying to cram myself into a mindset of positivity. If I want to be bummed out about what didn’t work out, that’s so legitimate and completely allowed, of course.

This is more about making some room for being beautifully surprised, and staying attuned to that continuum of impossible to possible, and then what is available to me from that expansive possibility!

A numinous heart-breath for possibility. For staying receptive to being surprised by a bubbling up of joy, wherever it might find me. Let’s play with that for now and see where it takes us.

Come play in the comments, I appreciate the company

Leave a pebble (o) to say you were here, so I know I’m not doing this alone.

Also it feels good to pick up a pebble and place it somewhere, I have noticed.

You are invited to share any related situations or musings of your own if you like, or name any wishes that are in process.

And of course you are welcome to share anything that sparked for you while reading, anything that helped, clues received, or anything on your mind, wish some wishes, process what’s percolating…

I am lighting a candle for us and our beautiful heart-wishes. What a brave thing it is to allow ourselves to want something better for us and for the world.

Or if there’s anything you’d like to explore further or toss into the wishing pot, the healing power of the collective is no small thing, companionship helps.

Whatever comes to mind or heart. Let’s support each other’s hope-sparks…

Housekeeping note: You can subscribe to posts by email again!

If you aren’t seeing these updates in your in your email and want to, you can can solve that here.

This will pop up a new page on Follow.It that lets you subscribe via email, newsletter, or RSS reader. They say “expect 50 stories a week”, and that’s a very imaginary number, once a week is the dream.

I am emailing copies of the Emergency Calming Techniques package!

Anyone who gives to the Discretionary this week (more info below) will get my Emergency Calming Techniques package by email as a pdf. I am only checking email twice a week because I no longer have wifi at my place, long story, so be patient with me but if it doesn’t show up within the week then let me know!

I have some ideas for the next ebook too but if you do too, shoot me an email or share in the comments.

A request!

If you received clues or perspective or want to send appreciation for the writing and work/play we do here, I appreciate it tremendously.

I am accepting support (with joy & gratitude) in the form of Appreciation Money to the Discretionary Fund. Asking is not where my strength resides but Brave & Stalwart is the theme these days, and pattern-rewriting is the work, it all helps with fixing the many broken things.

And if those aren’t options, I get it, you can light a candle for support (or light one in your mind!), share this with someone who loves words, tell people about these techniques, approaches and themes, send them here, it all helps, it’s all welcome, and I appreciate it and you so much. ❤️