Hello, week: we are here.
{a breath for being here when we get here}
Thank you, week!
This is the 392nd week in a row we are chickening here together….
What worked this week?
Morning begins at night.
Each day this week, before going to bed, I chose superpowers for tomorrow-me and put them in her journal:
“Today we have the powers of Delicious Calm, Beautifully Clear About Everything, and I Trust In My Wild Good Fortune…”
This is one of those things that is just a small, lighthearted moment when I do it, but then the next day things are mysteriously amazing.
Taking the indirect or unexpected route.
Asking “okay, what is not yes for me” ended up leading me to a VERY big yes I did not even know about, and which hadn’t surfaced at all in the many times I’d inquired about my yes.
Next time I might…
Drink more tea.
Tea helps, especially when it’s cold, and I forget this.
Naming the days.
This week was the week of Fantastic Unanticipated Luckiness, and here were the days:
Big joy. Steady panther grace. Inviting freedom. Three wishes. What great fortune. My space is treasure. Luckily, X!
Upcoming biopic if it were based on this week…
Smoke and Mirrors.
8 breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Miscommunication/misunderstanding with the beautiful boy who is in town for both not-long-enough and long-enough-to-go-into-the-worst-patterns, and always about-to-leave, big hurt feelings on my part. A comfort-acknowledgment-love breath for my vulnerable need to be special and important to this person, and for how much I wish I didn’t care about that.
- Took three days off of training this week, which was important, but also uncomfortable. A breath of deep trust.
- Got the estimate on replacing the sidewalk areas that were ripped up by the tree, and holy god it is a lot of money. Between that and basement fixes and figuring out plans, well, many breaths. A breath for remembering that nothing is wrong. A breath for house insurance, which covers half. A breath for All Is Well. A breath for Luckily, X. In this case, that means “Luckily, the massive tree toppling over did not destroy Richard’s car or any property at all, and really, this is remarkable good fortune.”
- Pretty much everyone in my life went off radar this week, and it was lonely and strange. A breath for deeper trust, and for asking for what I want.
- Wiped-out exhausted from all current projects. Emptying the house is big work. Figuring out what’s next is big work. Writing projects are big work. Dance training is kicking my ass. And so many monsters, including a new very sneaky gang who sound compassionate but actually just want to shut things down at any cost, they’re all about “well, this is just as far as you can go, you did what you could, now it’s time to let this dream go”. A breath for rest, and for Safety First.
- This emptying work is not easy. A breath.
- As if all the hard things aren’t enough, they were all intensified x1000 by some seriously volatile pre-moon-retreat hormonal fury. Let’s have a breath for the me who wants to destroy things.
- Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. May peacefulness prevail. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.
8 breaths for the good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- The misunderstanding was dissolved swiftly, with words, presence and love, which is an amazing thing for two people to be both able and willing to do together. And then we went dancing and held each other close. A breath for healing and for things that are healing.
- Clean slate. Powerful stuff. A breath for presence, doors, beginnings, entering as I wish to be in it.
- Big sweetness. Such good fortune in this. A breath for being able to appreciate what is beautiful, meaningful, joyful, yes-to-me-right-now.
- I said the things that needed saying, in the many situations that asked this of me. And it was okay. Everything was received with love, as it was intended. A breath for the healing powers of clarity.
- I spent so much of this week doing conscious entry, and everything was about a thousand times better than it usually is. A breath for practice.
- Dance! Training, practicing, working on foxtrot, killing it at nightclub two step, understanding what is and isn’t working in my drills. Dance was big magic this week, and now I can barely walk, but I’m okay with that. A breath for pleasure and for the transformative powers of the slow motion montage.
- My house is now 99% empty of things that are not true-yes, and this changes the air, and the happy hum is back. A breath of This Is Right.
- Thankfulness. Treasure in the form of wild rice with sauteed sweet peas, more light in the days, clues everywhere, and an absolutely amazing day of space-clearing with Jill (highly recommended!). Everything is okay and so much is good. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
Sparklepoints, superpowers, salve, fake band of the week!
Current ops and forward movement!
The Namer Names, Wild Montage, The Studio Op, and getting ready for the Fountaining op. Incremental progress (and yes, luckiness) on everything. Thank you, fractal flowers.
I am bestowing vast quantities of sparklepoints upon myself like a fairground stripper, and you are welcome to do the same for you.
Superpowers I had this week…
Last week I asked for the powers of I Am So Good At Easing & Releasing, New Ways Of Seeing Freedom, unfettered joy, and a thing that is like colliding wish magic but specifically for when I have a No to something, other people feel relieved that this is my no, or maybe I am okay with them not liking it, or some form of It All Works Out So Well and There Was Nothing To Worry About, Of Course!
Got all of these, especially the one about Freedom! And I also had the power of [Luckily, X] aka seeing good fortune everywhere, which is the best.
Powers I want.
I want the powers of Beautifully Clear, Easily Releasing, Of Course I Live In A Wishing Hotel, and I Trust In My Wild Good Fortune. As well as the power of happily asking for (naming, claiming, inviting, invoking, throwing into the pot) even more superpowers, a glorious abundance of superpowers!
The Salve of Luckily, X
When you wear this salve, it’s not so much that things get rose-colored as that they stop being muddy. Suddenly the situation that seemed impossible, frustrating or unlucky begins to reveal its hidden treasures. You pause, breathe, stop clicking, unplug, get on the floor, laugh.
This salve is made of equal parts Trust, Wonder, Pleasure, Self-Treasuring, Miracles, Sweetness, Grace and Thank you.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band is:
Mildly Bionic
Their latest album is Just Like You But More Dangerous, and it turns out this band is just one guy.
TWO ANNOUNCEMENTS!
We are doing some reconfiguring and Congruencing, and the shop will disappear soon, so if there was something you wanted to buy, go ahead and do that before it’s gone. More explanations about [reasons] to come, but it’s all good stuff, and if something is speaking to you, this is a good time.
How was your week?
Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.
And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!
Follow
Chickening before bed…
A thing that worked: letting a few minutes here and there add up.
Next time I might…actually try the thing I have been wanting to try. Maybe next week will be right timing?
A hard thing: being in propane limbo.
A good thing: receiving the gift of a manicure. I now have glittery purple fingernails!
I now invoke the superpower of Fearless Flowing. <3
Bonsoir, semaine. Merci, semaine!
What worked this week: Roasting the old potato with the rabbit.
Next time? Count to twenty. Choose breathing over responding.
Hard:
* Why is that calendar suddenly blank? amid other troubling signs of contractor disorganization.
* Skinned knee seeping.
* Unexpected hits to the savings.
* Angry and frustrated.
Good:
* First English country dance lesson went well, even though I’m told all the dances were intermediate/advanced.
* Anger and worry = study fuel.
* Donuts and shochu after a really long day.
* Thank you, Past Me, for investing in those knee-highs. Seeing how wearing tights was out of the question this week.
* Tomorrow could be a very full day, but I can also opt to stay home, sleep, and tend to self/haus/dawg. Freedom!
Warm wishes and big bouquets to all who want ’em.
//Morning begins at night.//
YASSSSSSSSSS it does! I have been doing a small daily list of routine things that I sort of forget otherwise, like breakfast & lunch & drinking water & stretching, & it has been VERY USEFUL but writing the whole thing out every morning was becoming too much so I started writing that stuff down the night before, & WOW has that helped. A breath for conscious entry!
Also, having achieved GREAT TRIUMPH with sheets that actually work on my bed, I have topped it all off with a hald-sewn pillowcase by YOURS TRULY made out of two different patterns of beautiful purple batik, & now I have the mostest gorgeousest pillowcase ACTUALLY EVER.
Luckily, I have a stinking cold! – which is enforcing the rest that I know I should take but almost certainly wouldn’t. Because I know that the Advanced Practice will be following up a fortnight of hard work with a fortnight of watching crap TV and not giving a damn, but I’m not there yet, and if my body is going to put me in the state where watching crap TV is practically an honoured ritual, then let’s go with that.
Luckily, production has slowed to a crawl, and so there isn’t anything I could do even if I wanted to. More learning about Not Doing.
Luckily, my father can’t come and stay this weekend after all. Which I am disappointed about, but I’m not much fun to be around when I have a cold, and he’s not well either, so. I shall phone him instead.
Luckily, we watched The Martian on Wednesday with Tom and Dan. It is such a cheerful film! Nobody is evil and everybody is competent, and you end up with jolly disco earworms.
Luckily, I have many many kinds of support and love, left by friends, people who care and who love me, and Past-Me!
A lot made me happy and grateful this week. I got paid, and paid a lot of bills, and continued using the new awareness/system that Beloved Person and I are working on for $! I also spent $ on things that make me happy, and am grateful that I could. I’m also grateful that B.P. wanted to stay in last night when we had already spent our fun money. So many of my monsters do not trust that he is good at keeping track of $, or shout at me that he doesn’t ‘have it together’, and it is great to recognize hard evidence to remind them of the Truth.
Some monsters tell me it’s not okay to include things about money in the comments. I am breathing deeply, and want to remind them that Nothing is Wrong, and this is a safe place, and it’s good that I”m using the tools I have and working on my stuff compassionately.
The Hard this week included a very Hard conversation with B.P. that (like most of them) eventually boiled down to a misunderstanding. It was pretty painful to get there though. Breathing for that.
And then blaming myself for “causing” the misunderstanding with my supposed forgetfulness and lack of presence/attention. I’m still not sure where to go with this one. It’s hard too and it’s okay to be here now.
Mmmm, good: sunshine!
Also good: after the misunderstanding was recognized, we had an amazingly useful conversation in which I learned about YET MORE ways that People Vary! Wow, life! way to keep surprising!
Also good: full days and progress!!
Also hard: full days, and getting overwhelmed about [X] in the middle of one.
Also hard: still, *STILL* feeling like there’s not enough time. I am soooooooo tired of this and want to dissolve it ALL AND FOREVER in the badass Superpower of Deep Breath…Deep Sigh…It’s OK To Slow Down…and There Is Enough.
Also hard AND good: tried [Y] again after a long time of not [Y]. Hmm……
As always, MUCH <3 <3 <3
Happy Chicken!
The Hard:
Sick this week.
A beloved uncle got bad news. And is alone and scared.
The Good:
I had stocked up on boxes of puffsplus and now they are everywhere: in my office, in my car, on my couch, in my bed. These always feel like a luxury to me.
I met the most wonderful woman yesterday who was glamourous and intriguing and was a model in the 60s, and is selling off jewelry from former boyfriends to fund her old age. I wanted to talk to her all day. And maybe be her one day.
A day at home. A breath for hibernation and being able to cancel plans with “I don’t want to spread my germs.”
A new accountant makes everything better.
oh I love you people, and this here. Big resonance (deep trust… clean slate… sneaky monsters with fake-compassion… and yes, tea helps, doesn’t it?)
I had a beautiful week of Getting-closer-to-what-I-mean. Yay leveled-up language skills! Yay authenticity and beautiful weirdness, full-on! I got better at hugs, unexpectedly, at going sans make-up, better at reacting-in-the-moment. Also better at paying attention to the news, holding rage and heartbreak, processing, not falling apart, looking for ways to do my part, live politics, be constructive. Something gave, a barrier I seem to have been holding up, it might have been made of shame. Life is so much less work now. I suspect it has to do with the tattoo I finally got. It is even more magical than I thought it would be.
oh I love you people, and this here. Big resonance (deep trust… clean slate… sneaky monsters with fake-compassion… and yes, tea helps, doesn’t it?)
I had a beautiful week of Getting-closer-to-what-I-mean. Yay leveling-up of language skills! Yay good listeners! Yay authenticity and beautiful weirdness, out-loud! I unexpectedly got better at hugs, and reacting in-the-moment. I also got better at paying attention to news, holding rage and heartbreak, processing, turning to doing my part, living politics, being constructive, skipping the falling-apart stage entirely. Something gave, a barrier I’ve apparently been holding up, and life is now just so much less WORK, now that my hands are no longer full, the view not obscured and the weight gone. I suspect it has much to do with the tattoo I got, which is evidently magical.
oh this feels so good. of course writing = another wonderful way of getting-closer-to-what-I-mean. thanks for having space to do this.
<3
Waving good-bye to the week with a glass of yummy Portugese red wine,
this was the hard:
– boss’ scattered energy and self-made chaos, so sorry for him, he is a darling but lets himself get eaten up
– a friend’s mother who has always been an inspiration for me is dying
– husband suddenly announced plans that were made without involving me at all and that, for me, ruin weekends I had been looking forward to
and this was the good:
– Being inside the work chaos and yet keeping out of it
– Half a day off on Friday, going away for 24 hours
– Watching an amazing show
– Briefly reuniting with ex-colleagues, so much fun and so touched that I still feel so welcome
– I was offered a free stay in 4 star hotel for this one night away and it felt like a warm embrace to come into the hotel room
– I am totally in love with my new blender and my smoothie creations
– 8 days to go until TLV
Oh, Offering beautiful {{{Hugs}}} to all!
And Asking for {{{Hugs}}} for me, too.
HUGS!!!
{{{{hugs!}}}} and thank you!
Hugs back! I offer you a Mom’s Family Special Hug – the hugger scratches your back during the hug.
MMMMM ~ Love those back-scratching Hugs! Thank you, QL 🙂
HELLO CHICKEN HELLO HELLO
I HAVE COME TO CHECK INNNNN
Today is a DAY and I am BREATHING.
I am welcoming the new month. Hello, Month! This month is a Clearing Cycle and we are washing away things that don’t work, things that are gunking up the works, things that are ready to be released, things that need to go to the fountain, things that need to fly free into the world. WHOOSH WHOOOSH WHOOOOOOSHHHH.
What’s working?
+[top secret adventure]
+the Cabin Rhythms
+listening
I might also try….
+listening MORE
+listening EVEN MORE
+SO MUCH LISTENING
🙂
IN WHICH we observe that emoticons have no ears!
How can they hear?!?!
Breathing, breathing, breathing.
Breathing for the mysterious mysteries, the enigmatic enigmas, the tangly tangles that are here.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Pegasus Blue. Breathing for the me who knows exactly what it’s time to do to solve this mystery, and wishes ze didn’t have to. Breathing for the hours invested. Breathing for the core of me that feels like it may actually be able to hold steady in the face of this Mystery. Breathing for the me who secretly knows that I am actually okay (!!!!!!)
+Breathing for the Mystery of Lime vs Lemon. Breathing for the Lemon that wants to be everywhere at all times. Breathing for the Lime that needs time and space. Breathing for the ephemerality. Lime, Lemon, Lemon, Lime Lime Lime Lime.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Rainbow Shuffling. What order should these things go in? Does it matter? On what level(s) does it matter? How can we settle these things? (A: Listen. Listen more. Listen even more. So much listening.)
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Hula Hoop. What was that about? Who was that? Was that me? What me was that? What will we do? Was it anything? Now what?
+Breathing for the Mystery of Chocolate/No Chocolate. Where is the balance? And where is the chocolate?!?!
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Wet Tent. Can we dry it out? How difficult will that be? Breathing appreciation for this image. Breathing delight that I am wired this way.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Ciudad Applejack. Are we rendezvousing? Are we depolarized? Is it over? Is it just beginning? How do we figure this out? Also, how do we conjugate “rendezvous” in English?
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Mane Event. Breathing for the Truth and Breathing for the Lion. Yes.
And breathing for delightful delights, for delicious donuts, for magical magics!
+Breathing for the Grand Eye Flip. Whoa! What is this? Is this real?
+Breathing for % the tiny 4 month old gnome baby who allowed me to snuggle them this weekend. Breathing for just how amazing it is that so much human being can fit in such a tiny body. Breathing for the tiny baby bodies that were all of us once, whether we are big grown ups now or not yet. Breathing for tiny soft gurgly smiles. Yes.
+Breathing for Agent Alces. Hello! Welcome!
+Breathing for the Grande Tome. WOW. What an adventure! Can it not be over? WOW.
+Breathing for Agent Monkeypants and Agent Wherefore, the Heroes of Canton, for whom statues will be erected and paeans sung.
+Breathing for Bee Pee. Breathing for the deep exhale of this moment. Breathing as it settles, as it integrates, as it seeds. Yes, yes, yes.
+Breathing for Project Owl. Breathing for Agent Ptera showing up and [being the UBADASH]. Breathing for how sweet it is. Breathing for this whole thing.
+Breathing for the new beginnings, for the continuation of this Cycle, for the steady beginning Rocking Steady all throughout. Yes. Yes. YES!!
I am powering up my powerful Superpower of Listening, and Listening More, and Listening Even More.
I am mixing up a vial of Neal Caffrey Potion, a potion that magnetizes unreasonably good fortune to me, a potion that ensures I say exactly the right thing at the right time, a potion that grounds me firmly in Chaotic Good. I am adding the potion to my water bottle, and drinking it up gladly.
And our Fake Band today is: the Booger Tutus! They have a cool new album, “A+ for Fucktrumpet”, which can be downloaded off their website at your leisure.
NEIL CAFFREY POTION yes please yes please chaotic good this is the best
This feels like the place to share a moment of practice inspired directly by this site and this community.
I try to have a Retreat Day once a week and I call them my NOPE Days, as in “Do you want to–” “Nope!”
“Can I trouble you to–” “Nope!”
“Hey, let’s–” “Nope!”
So Sunday I had a NOPE Day and while journalling in the morning I had a desire to open it up into an acronym and what came out was Nourishing Open Playful Easing and if that’s not one of the most beautiful ways to turn a No into a Yes, I don’t know what is.
So thank you for this practice and this moment of joy! Acronyms are magic!
I might try naming my Superpower the night before as well.
Luckily, I have time at work right now to read this and make connections and seed joy!