Idaho is pretty.
My hips still don’t like to sit unless it’s on the grass with my notebook, so we are going to do week 374 of wishing wishes by peeking at the wishbook!
The Wandering Wishbook of Stella the Star
I wish to name my wishes, to trace the sparks of my desire…
Oh those whispered truths of 4am
What is clear?
What do I know about my wishes?
I see that I am wishing for Clarity in the form of…
- making space for my desire to make itself known
- remembering not to freak out — the clues are here!
- I want to get so clear that the obvious clues are obvious even before I ask to see them
- the path reveals itself/trust that the path is revealing itself
- clear intentions for trajectory (I may not know where I’m going or how I’m getting there but I can set a trajectory of qualities: Clarity, Intention, Trust, Glow)
- clear water, clear skies, clear headspace, less input and more intentional output, clear as a bell
- A clear view of the stars, and the ability to be aware of my own glow, my own sense of meaning inside of any given constellation in my life
Breathing for these wishes
Oh wow what beautiful wishes!
Come share yours.
As always, we keep this a gloriously safe space by meeting ourselves and each other with love, while adhering to the twin practices of not caretaking and not giving advice, assuming good intentions. Love from the road.
Follow
!!! What a view !!!
Some things into the pot:
Less gross
Less seep
Less back-channel
Less envy
Less erk
Balance balance balance
Water water water
Faith hope and clarity 🙂
Warm wishes to all y’all.
amen may it be so! into the pot! <3
Such beautiful wishes!
Today, I am wishing for Clarity, Sovereignty, Intimacy, Ease, and Flow.
Thank you for being here. It means a lot to me.
*raises cinnamon tea in greeting*
Beautiful river view.
Not sure how i’ll bear tearing myself away from the Sandias tomorrow.
Spouse is an excellent travelling companion, but i’ve needed time & headspace on my own unorthodox schedule, to process all sorts of things. And i’ve (mostly) not gotten them.
I’ll need to sleep for a week back home. But if I could’ve processed, while still *here*, what might have been possible?
Excellent news, tho: Spouse wants to return! (His first trip out here, I wasn’t sure he would.)
*gazes up at the Sandias*
actually it’s a lil dark to see them right now
but they’re just up there
aren’t they beautiful?
Oh wow, what beautiful wishes. <3
I've been wishing for Aligned Focus (and various iterations of that and clarity). What I think I want is actually *action* on the focus/clarity I already have, but I want action-without-forcing. Easeful action. Inspired Action. Action that pulls me, instead of me pushing myself into it. This is why I doubt myself, as to whether I'm really clear or not, because I want the clarity to be so inspiring and enticing that I *naturally* flow into action.
Is this possible? Monsters think it is fantasy. Monsters think resistance to action is just [you know, all the monstery judgement-laden words related to not-doing]. But I am beginning to think resistance to action is a legitimate Resistance. I have *immense* kneejerk resistance to pushing any more. Not all kinds of pushing, just certain kinds. The kinds that do not quickly result in pleasure/delight, and/or where the eventual rewards are not sufficiently self-evident and inspiring. I have pushed *for decades* to do things that maybe (or definitely) were not Inspired, 100% yes things. And now the pushing muscles are spent. I thought the laborers were just on strike, and would resume their labor after a sufficient rest/recovery period. But no, something has fundamentally changed. They are in Revolt, and they are not going back to the old ways, ever.
So maybe I need to back up a little: before Inspired Action, and before Aligned Focus, even before Clarity, there is Desire. Pleasure. Delight. Because life is short. And I'm willing to work hard, but there damn well needs to be some delight in it.
So maybe my wish is: to access my desire, *my* desire. To understand what it is that I really want. Not what I think I want. Not what my head tells me, not what any external inputs tell me. More visceral than that. More body-level and soul-level than that. What do I *really* want? And not just surface-level desires, either. I mean, yes, surface desires, because they are clues; but also, what's-at-the-very-bottom-of-the-well desire, what is the source? What Qualities do I desire? Without worrying about *how*. Only *what*.
Let's just start there and see what happens. I've been getting messages for awhile now that I need to do shadow work (acknowledging and releasing the things that block me), and that I need to adjust my expectations for myself – that I've been trying to do too much, to jump ahead and skip steps (in terms of spiritual/life lesson learning steps). So maybe this is a fundamental step – to be able to hear/access my own desire, desire-as-guidance – that I need to slow down and take, not try to skip ahead.
Yes, that is my wish this week: to access my own desire. To treat Desire as holy, as sacred guidance, and seek it out. To dive into my own well, and see what I find.
May it be so. And <3 <3 <3 for everyone's wishes.
amen x10000 to all of this, big time self-fluency! <3
Into the pot!
(Some of these things spin as they fall. Some I have to shake hard. Some tumble out of the jar with surprising exuberance. Some I have to bash against the side of the pot to get them off the spoon.)
Entry. Stepping into An Exciting Opening. How do I want to be in this experience, what do I want from it, what do I have to give it? I’ve been out of academia long enough that September doesn’t really feel like a new year for me any more, but I’m willing to make an exception for this one.
Rest. This is the first free weekend in aaaaaages and, while I’ve made some inroads into this project of doing absolutely nothing, I’m conscious that my stores are nowhere near full.
Sanctuary. I have had four outward-facing weekends in a row. I need to turn in again.
Presence. I would like to be present with food and I would like to be present with money. And I would like to be kind to myself when I’m not.
Love to all of the wishes and the wishers. (Havi! I like the new layout, a lot.)
Thank you! I love the idea of outward-facing and inward-facing with time, what a useful way to phrase that. <3
What beautiful wishes!
I dig the peek into the wandering wishbook <3
I wish to feel like there's "enough time" for everything that needs to happen.
What do I know about this wish?
I'm saying Yes to things that are not 100% Yes. Yes is my default answer, when it should be No. I thought I became really good at saying No and Glowing Boundaries, but I'm still soft when it's friends and people I hold in high regard who ask for favors.
What else do I know?
I hate being put on the spot. When people ask me in person or over the phone, I feel pushed to say yes. Email gives me an opportunity to think and check in. To press pause on the conversation.
What else do I know?
I'm putting off things I care about in order to accommodate others. It is impacting me in serious ways, and I'm neglecting this impact when I have to make a decision whether to say Yes or No.
What do I need?
A flowchart.
A reminder.
A letter from Future Me who will experience the results of the decisions Present Me is making.
Maybe hearing some stories when saying "No" has lead to something beautiful.
Remembering when my "No" has lead to something beautiful.
Late wishes… I’ve been applying the Salve of I Am So Very Clear so much, it has become a Super-Power! So this week, knowing that I too have had too many Outward-Facing weeks in a row (thank you for that one!), I decided to go off camping on my own. I knew the area where I wanted to be, I looked online for a campsite and found… Astro-Clear-View campsite! And YES, it was THE most perfect, peaceful, beautiful place, and I was the only camper there, and many wishes have become CLEAR during this week.
Thank you for all the clues and for this lovely space to share in xx
Astro-Clear-View!!!!!!! ALL THE SUPERPOWERS OF THAT!!! <3