Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
I have been having long talks with slightly future me, and it is helping me through some rough stuff.
And one of the things she told me when I asked her about trust was the following:
“Pleasure is always the answer.”
This kind of broke my mind, so this week I am exploring the relationship between trust and pleasure.
Not just in the obvious ways but in lots of different ways. So all of this week’s asks and wishes are on this theme.
What do I know about the relationship between trust and pleasure? Also: what don’t I know yet?
Thing 1: Making loving declarations.
Here’s what I want:
This week there are announcements to announce, things to tell people, stuff like that.
I want to say what I have to say with love.
Detached from the outcome, receptive to perfect simple solutions, delighting in possibility.
That is what I want. It feels like a tall order right now but I’m going to process this and I will get there.
Ways this might work:
Mapping the patterns.
Doing shiva nata on it.
Writing it out. Dancing it out. Changing my metaphors. Using those four questions.
I’m playing with…
Clarity and certainty: knowing what I want and giving myself permission to want what I want.
Thing 2: Partnering. And learning about that.
Here’s what I want:
Support, in a variety of forms.
And to experience that sensation of other people having my back.
Ways this might work:
More partner yoga play with Danielle, my partner in partnered yoga.
More skype dates with my Marisa.
I’m playing with…
Giving myself permission to take it slow because this is SO DAMN HARD FOR ME.
Thing 3: “This is for you, sweetie!”
Here’s what I want:
One of the things that Incoming Me is always doing is saying “This is for you, sweetie!” whenever she plants sweetness for tomorrow-me or next-week-me.
Like when we do laundry so that Havi-in-two-days will have clean towels. Or when we remember to buy toothpaste.
She whispers, “This is for you, sweetie!” and then she twinkles. It’s adorable.
I like that.
I would like to do more of that.
Ways this might work:
I’m not sure. I’m just going to try to stay peaceful and present.
I’m playing with…
Conducting!
As in: reclining on the floor and focusing on the qualities that will help me with this.
In this case, probably TRUST and PLEASURE.
Thing 4: Asking.
Here’s what I want:
I don’t like asking for things.
(She says, as she writes a Very Personal Ad.)
But that is the next step. I need to learn how to navigate this because some of this week’s adventures require requests. So that’s going to be interesting.
Ways this might work:
Change the words. Change the names. Change the vocabulary. Use secret agent code!
And convene an Enthusiastic. That will help.
I’m playing with…
Staying connected to slightly future me, and listening.
Investigating trust and pleasure.
Asking what it would be like to ask for things IF the act of asking was full of trust and pleasure. What would be different? What would be true? What would no longer be true?
Like that.
Thing 5: Plum Duff!
Here’s what I want:
We are so much closer to the magical thing that is Plum Duff Days.
I want excitement and enthusiasm! I want gleeful dancing around the room!
I want all the pieces to fall into place so that this can go smoothly and easily.
And I want help from friends.
Ways this might work:
Dance it up!
I’m playing with…
Getting really clear on what I want this to feel like this time.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted to nudge that miracle along, and it partly worked and partly didn’t. I mean, it’s still a work in progress. I am committed to more nudging, and I think this stuff about trust and pleasure is the next step.
Then I wanted to adjust the bat signal (shhh, edit the wiki!), and some of that happened.
I wanted to take necessary steps that are a result of the secret coronation, and two really big ones happened. Except now there are more. So I need windows of time for this. But ten thousand sparklepoints for doing the hardest one!
Also I wanted progress on Plum Duff and that happened because Danielle helped me.
And I wanted to work on the Crumblet and haven’t touched it. Maybe tomorrow with Lady Chuck?
Basically I still stand by all of last week’s wishes and at the same time am admiring the progress. Sigh of acknowledgment. Replanting.
Playful playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Here or on your own or in your head. It’s all fine. Or call silent retreat!
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
If you’re looking for suggestions or heart-sighs or anything else related to your wish, you will need to ask for that because our default mode is giving each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We make space for people’s wishes.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Follow
(I love this vision, btw. )
Last week, I asked for more of a sense of how my slider-puzzle of a life worked, and how to plant more self-care and replenishment in & still get things done. So far, that hasn’t quite happened, although I got more insight on my previous ask, which I think somehow plays in. So there’s that.
This week, I would definitely like more insight and clarity on the “garden plan” of my life.
Ways this could work: bing moments from Shiva Nata. Insight from Cairene. Random happy insights from anyone.
My commitment: to do an OOD.
Mwah! 🙂 Love you guys!
Thing 1: Smooth Transitions.
Here’s what I want:
I’m jumping back into my site, and my business. I’m struggling to find my footing again after some de-railing issues, and i’d like to smooth the transition a bit.
In whatever forms that may take.
I may get a job to ease the money issues. I may find a suitable housing situation. I may see the perfect car. I may get a fantastic response to my new course in defining your potential self.
Ways this might work:
Doing daily Shivanata.
Regular check-in processes.
To-do lists!
Dance.
I’m playing with…
Having Faith.
Baby steps.
Thing 2: The eCourse Launch.
Here’s what I want:
I finished a course in redefinition alchemy this week.
It’s a workbook in four parts which helps people define where they are and make the changes to reveal their potential / future self, and to work towards reaching that stage.
I currently have a couple of people on a list of interest, but I really want to get this to as many people as possible.
Ways this might work:
I could post the link to the free preview everywhere… http://thephoenixmind.com/the-forge/the-alchemy-of-redefinition/
Trust. Have Faith.
Double check everything is sorted for the community side.
I’m playing with…
Doing each section in stages, trying not to rush into the tiny details before the bare structure is there.
Not pressuring myself to make this an unrealistic success as it appears in my head.
1. peaceful living.
… for my house situation to resolve and dissolve. my flatmate, who is responsible for room assignments, assigned me to a new room without my consent and i totally resent the way this happened. I would like this to get resolved without me having to think about it. I do not want to move and I will not move and I resent the fact that there is an attempt to impose this on me in a sneakified way.
ways this could work – he could back down. i could explode. this could just be perfectly clear. i could even move out. i am absolutely willing to play hard ball here even if i would prefer not to.
i’ll play with – clarity. stampfooting. not budging on this idiocy.
2. work clarity
Another situation in which I just won’t compromise ANY MORE. I’d like to be able to work in peace and I’d like for people to stop getting in the way of my scholarship, my work, my ideas, my research
ways this could work – I could set up negotiations under my terms. I could go running in the morning. I could deschedulize my agenda.
i’ll play with – more clarity and more clarity.
3. something nice for me
my time and agenda have been rapidly filling up. I want back my space. I might drop out of FB. Or email. Or something.
ways this could work – keeping the weekend empty
i’ll play with – laziness. long slow mornings. lots of gentle writing. balance. lemonade.
theme spotting
most of this is about: more clarity. endless clarity. no more BS. so incredibly done with people taking up all the space and invading into mine. stay out everyone, this is a time for me in my room with my work.
HAH
Here’s what I want: To know, really know, that I have the superpowers of creativity and intuition. To carry these superpowers with me, in my force field, everywhere I go, and especially in my work. Creativity! Intuition!
Ways this might work: Rituals! Magic spells! Visualizations! Affirmations! Belief! Confidence! Clarity! PLAY!
I’m playing with: All of the above. Also, continuing to look for opportunities to make tiny desired changes in the routines of my life, because these seem to energize me and help the bigger changes unfold.
Waving my magic wand (which may also be a bubble wand) and wishing good gwishes to all!
Hi everyone! Good luck with all of your VPAs.
Thing # 1 – I seem to have injured my shoulder and am not allowed to swim(!) among other things, like carrying things that are heavy. This is for two or three months while it heals. I want to understand the why behind injuring my shoulder. What am I supposed to take from this?
WTCW
I could focus on how I change my actions when I can’t swim (or hold things). I could focus on metaphorical reasons for injuring my shoulder – and apparently how doing many of the things I take for granted can reinjure it and set me back. I could think about the physical reasons for what could have caused the shoulder injury and how to avoid it in the future. I could meditate on it.
My Commitment
To take care of my shoulder and try to learn what I need to learn. Also, to not swim, play volleyball, bike, or whatever else it is I need to learn.
Thing # 2 – I am 23 pages away from completing the first manual pass of manuscript revision(page 93 of 116). I’ve been working on this since May. I really want to reach the end of my manuscript, so I can begin putting the edits into the computer.
WTCW I could squirrel myself away somewhere with my binder and a pen, and be safe from distractions. I could somehow steal away more time. I could go somewhere away from home (the park?) so that way I am not within hollering distance for my husband this weekend. I don’t know, I could wait a couple weeks and bring it camping with me, even if it’s not done this week, that will be a quiet place. If/When my husband asks me to go with on an appraisal this weekend, I could say no, I’m going to work on my novel.
My Commitment Make working on the edits a priority and look for those moments I can take to myself. Be firm, but not mean when saying no. This is important to me and I need to allow space for it.
Oooo…loving the vision that pleasure is always the answer
Ooooo…much love and also holding the vision
I’m VPA’ing on Wednesday because I can. 🙂 Much love to all your VPAs.
Thing #1 – Play!
What I Want: Yay, I have a friend! We like to work a lot, but we also both like to play. I want more play in my work, with or without my friend.
Ways this could work…
We have our downtime day, and we’re talking about putting some other “group activities” in the calendar. This is summer camp after all. But also things could just happen spontaneously. We are at summer camp! There are so many options!
I’ll play with…
Asking for what I want. Being receptive. Working with the quality and being patient with it. (Clarity took months…) Using the box of ridiculousness when I feel stuck. More shiva nata!
Thing #2 – Options
What I Want: Technically, I have all the options in the world after time at summer camp is over, but there’s money stuff and too-many-options stuff. I think I just want one really good and completely obvious one.
Ways this could work…
It just could. Some amazing opportunity could come up to go somewhere and do something and it would be just perfect.
I’ll play with…
Trust. Staying in the process. Being receptive. Putting myself out there.
Thing #3 – This website DONE!
What I Want:Helper-mouse me took on a project that she thought would be fun but actually is making her pull her hair out and is not going to end up paying me nearly enough to cover my time. But I need to get it done now and feel good about it.
Ways this could work…
Little bits at a time.
I’ll play with…
Letting the pieces fall into place. Remembering that creativity and solutions to creative problems come to me often in my sleep. Not pushing. Staying in the process rather than focusing on “getting-it-done.” Recognizing that the things I’m learning are helping me with my site too (as evidenced today when I went to work on something on my blog and needed exactly the code I was wrestling with all day yesterday for the other site.)
Happy week everyone!
I am so into doing this on a Wednesday this week. Fitting 🙂
From last VPA: openings happened, and Fantasy Island clarity has landed and it is off my plate. Or I am fully energetically on da plane. Or whatever. Thank you. And the Thing is almost all in scrivener but it is AMAZING how internal emotional dramas and irresistible external distractions arise ONLY when I am about a day from finishing! Distractions that seriously would take me about 5 minutes to knock out if I had several days ahead of me still.
I was feeling all “help me, help me, what do I do, how do I get out of this, I can’t” and then at a certain moment sovreignty snapped in, like: oh, okay, I can make the decision to just do THIS, this is what I need to do, I don’t have to ask anybody, just like at Rally where there is no external authority. Yay.
What I want:
ease, speed, magic, channeled information, completion, clarity on what else I need to do and fun easiness in doing it
Ways this could work:
quicker than I thought, building on superpowers & the 40,000 hours already invested
I’ll play with:
Shiva nata first thing in the morning, not getting online or messing around with chores before I get to my studio.
What I want:
life in the meantime
Ways this could work:
staying open, not overworking, playing, intuiting
I’ll play with:
(silent retreat), not doing crazy weird to do lists when I am too tired (I seriously spent like an hour making one and then taking pictures of it with my phone when I should have been asleep. This weirdo to-do-list fetishization is a sign of extreme exhaustion. I am going to play with just stopping, just NOT doing it, just going home and going to sleep.)
What I Want:
I want to connect MUCH more regularly and interactively with people who have some practice using the techniques that Havi teaches, and who are or who want to be using at least some of those techniques regularly. I’d like to have a connection of that sort every weekday and optionally some weekend days, preferably sometime before noon California time. Not necessarily a big thing, but some kind of regular interaction that reminds me of the possibilities and gives me a place to cheer and be cheered, daily, for even very small steps accomplished.
Ways This Might Work:
Locating some interested people seems like the first step. After that, there could be emailing or mutual blog-commenting or phoning or text messaging or connecting with each other at Procrastinators Anonymous. And probably other possibilities.
Re locating interested people:
People might see this post and contact me! (If you’re interested, or if you have other ideas about how this might work, please do let me know!)
I can contact the person who told me about Havi, and ask if she’s interested and if she knows anyone else who might be.
I can email the people I met at June Rally! and ask if any of them are interested.
I can email the First Mate and ask if he knows of anyone who might be interested, and if this is a Q he’d be willing to relay to Havi. And also ask if this is what the Floop does, and, if so, if there’s any possibility that I might join it in mid-voyage, rather than waiting to see if it’s offered next year.
As a last resort, I could get a FaceBook account and see if I can locate interested people through that channel. I’d rather not do that, as I hear FB can be a huge time-sink, and I already find it difficult to manage my internet time wisely. But it’s a possibility.
I think sovereignty would allow all of those. I’d welcome other suggestions for how this might work, but am not sure where the sovereignty line is for that.
I’m playing with:
Doing this a bit at a time. I don’t have to try everything at once. Posting this is the start.
Good wishes to all of you, for wherever you need them!