Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: Who’s keeping track of special ops?
Here’s what I want:
I’ve noticed I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and panicky over the past few days.
My two busiest monsters (The Mssrs. TOO MANY THINGS and NOT ENOUGH TIME) are both working overtime and tag-teaming each other.
I sat with them and we played a few rounds of what’s true and what’s also true. We learned that yes, it’s true that the next three weeks have a hell of a lot of things that need doing. This gave us some information on how to set things up differently next year.
And when we got to the part about also true, it became clear that none of the things are very difficult or time-consuming. And we have a method: naming the mission and setting it up, with super secret spy code.
But then they worry about who will keep track of all the missions?!
The qualities inside of the want:
Clarity. Order. Calm. Spaciousness. Congruence. Harmony. Clear seeing. Truth. Radiance. Resilience. Sustainability. Flow.
And the superpower of being my own control tower.
Ways this might work:
I can go to the Floop and list out all the operations. And then find out what their secret names, costumes and attributes are.
Once I’ve sorted them out, they can go into Paperless, the app that I want to marry.
I’m playing with…
Drinking tea. Believing. Letting things go.
Thing 2: Operation DOLPHINS.
Here’s what I want:
Okay, this one is a metaphor and a proxy and a fractal flower, so just go with this.
I am the Director of the world’s premier Dolphin Adoption Agency.
And I have been considering closing the agency even though I love the dolphins and I love that people want to adopt dolphins. It’s just way too much work and also sometimes people abandon the dolphins and then I feel sad and despondent.
So I have been interviewing myself: talking to the version of me who excels at this job and is thrilled to be doing it.
This week I’d like to quietly and lovingly re-open the doors of the Dolphin Adoption Agency, with a warm heart and a steady smile. And to do it in a way that feels right for me. Because a happy Director is, it turns out, vital to a thriving agency.
The qualities inside of the want:
Freedom. Orchestration. Peacefulness. Innovation. Newness. Sustenance. Flow. Sovereignty. Freedom. Boundaries. Responsibility. Lightness. Love.
And the (hilarious) superpower of remembering that the most important thing about running an Agency is the quality of AGENCY.
Ways this might work:
Get more advice from me-the-Director.
Take it to the cafe.
I’m playing with…
Letting this be easier than I think it will be.
Letting the Floop help.
Thing 3: Operation MILLINER
Here’s what I want:
Operation Milliner! I have a gigantic editing project and I am so very much not in the mood. So I want to either get in the mood or I want it to be easy. What do I know about the op?
- Color: Gold
- Superpower: Always looking good in hats means…. (find out!)
- Costume: all the hats, of course!
- Code within code: M.I.L.L.I.N.E.R.
- Contact: Brigitte can make the drop in Bonn. Or Ulf.
MILLINER also stands for: Malleability. Immersion. Lusciousness. Laughter. Inspiration. Newness. Effortless. Radiance.
The compass will begin North at M and goes clockwise and then counterclockwise: “Malleability immerses in luscious laughter, inspired by newness and effortlessly radiating. Malleability radiates effortless newness, inspiring laughter and lusciousness, immersed in malleability.”
Elements of the operation include:
(1) Setting.
(2) Conducting in and conducting out. .
The qualities inside of the want:
Creativity. Inspiration. Playfulness.
The superpower of letting things change shape easily.
Ways this might work:
At the Playground. With flowers. More flowers!
I’m playing with…
There is a dress…
Noticings about the things I want this week…
They have to do with getting things in order, finding rhythms internal and external. And they require a playful approach, because otherwise I get overwhelmed. And if I’m not enjoying myself, how can I be the director of the world’s foremost dolphin adoption agency? See?
Bonus wishes, please!
Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- Coloring. Like this.
- Helena.
- Operation STOCKING.
- Operation 6 Sundays
- A solemn promise about next December.
- Revue.
- Goodbye, goodbye, 2012.
- A ritual, made new.
- Goodbye, goodbye, 2012.
- Doorways and doorways.
- Let there be dancing.
- Steadiness and grace
I’m playing with…
A pot full of harmony.
Smiling all the smiles.
Yoga nidra.
Staying committed to playfulness and vitality when I can, to presence and breathing when I can’t.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Wow. So Operation CAKEWALK was a smashing success. Also I forgot to give credit to Kyle for the name, which was part of what made it such a great operation to begin with. I loved it.
Operation Four on the Floor was much more challenging than expected. BUT. I wrote a forty page ebook. So that was pretty great.
And I made huge progress on the mezuzot, because of something that happens every year that I always forget about.
The bonus wishes worked well too. Replanting a few of them for more of the same. Yay.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
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Gwishes! This week…
*listing the lists*
*serenity* and *centredness*
*organisation* and *setting things up*
*printing* and *tools*
*sanctifying spaces*
*visioning*
*coming home*
For this year….
*A set of household systems and habits that help me and the children THRIVE; that build in spaces for rest, healing, nourishment and replenishment as a way of life; and allows the space needed for creative, organic, aligned, soulful and caring ACTION on my four big life projects: me, Little Lad, Wonderbaby and The Making Space.*
!!!!!!!!GWISH!!!!!!!
Thank you for reminding me about yoga nidra, as I wonder where that CD is.
What is working: rolling out my yoga mat and standing on it. Arriving back home there.
My own gwishes:
For these tiny sparks to do something, to smolder and perhaps catch fire.
For the other tiny sparks I’m lighting to burn, smoulder, catch fire and create something.
For the perfect plans for tomorrow night, whatever they may be.
For a nice productive day at work tomorrow and a filling pipeline.
And my big gwish for the come year, that I’m going to say without code words for the universe to hear – I want to find the perfect (recognizing that the imperfect is perfect) firm for my practice and me to join, in the right area, with a lot of money, a great boss and so much learning. Stretching worked to get me my heavenly apartment, my lovely car that is so just right for me, my amazing cat, and I bet it can work for this too! (And while we are at it we’ll throw in “a lovely man friend” too!)
I’m still extremely tickled by the metaphor of dolphin adoption.
Thing One:
Me: ThinkingWoman ISO solution to big hairy pattern that’s cropping up again. You: Charming, handsome solution that appreciates long walks on the beach.
Things I’m willing to do:
Look for clews, hints, and places where the pattern could change. Girl Detective to the rescue!
Practice self-compassion and metta
Flail
Do still more writing and thinking about this pattern
Ask myself for help creating time to dance a classy waltz with some possible solutions to see if they’re right for me.
Thing Two:
Costumery! I want to find fun, quirky articles that are appropriate for daily wear (including at the Place of Things that need Doing), but which are interesting enough to be conversation starters. It is tired I am of boring t-shirts and jeans and sweaters.
Ways this could happen – I could stumble across a fun new shop in my travels this week. Someone I know could point me in the direction of a quirky little place to look. I could receive something for the impending natal day celebration.
Thing Three:
There is a very nasty, icky virus going around – about half of my friends on Facebook are either sick or just recovering. My ask on this is to REMEMBER all of the things I could do to support my health so that I don’t have to stress over the possibility of catching the plague.
What I could do – Stick a reminder note in some key places reminding me to take good care of myself. I could make a ritual out of vitamin C in the evening as well as the morning.
The vision: get unstuck in this week on the road.
The mission: be able to feel at home in myself wherever I am.
What my gut knows about strategy: it contains vegetables, and asking for back rubs, and allowing myself to be all HSP, and chocolate.
Resources: Trust. Tonglen. Love. J. Permission.
I can’t even remember what I wanted last week. Sort of….but either way some things shifted.
I got some clarity on how to deal with my empathic talents so they don’t get to me so much. It requires a change of perspective and not getting hooked in – especially with mom.
Realizing I want to change my negative thinking habits and sitting alone isolating with them. Wanting to learn how to do the switcharoo from negativity to positivity or at least openness to other possibilities. Playing with asking, “What else is possible?” Have I left something out?
The anxiety provoking male attention has died down. I believe I got rid of the 24 year old who probably had no idea how old I really was. Flattered, but it scared me too. Getting older and I want so badly to beat CFS and heal some things and make progress too!
This is a year I ask for healing and more mindfulness and response to challenges instead of troubling reactions.
I finally scrubbed my floor for the first time in a year – really scrubbed it. I want organization and less stuff and more clean around me.
I am playing with getting rid of things, realizing I want more space than more stuff.
I am playing with letting things go and saying, “Oh, well,” I didn’t need it anyway, which is hard to do around my family situations – people I send gifts to who don’t even get around to acknowledging I did. I am tired of carrying this pain. I am laying it down.
Playing with seeing the world as family so I feel I have one that is greater than the one I was born into that left me so lonely and messed up over time.
Wanting to get out more and be around others. Must push through the CFS and make sure it is a good choice.
Art is ok. Have one gig coming up I will work hard at. Playing with just getting into my art and not bitching that I am not further in popularity or money or opportunity. Just focus on the art for art’s sake.
Overall – the superpower of mindfulness is helping me and witness consciousness. Made a plan to start yoga nira two days ago again and didn’t do it. Tonight. Just put the headphones on and let go and expand.
The word EXPANSION keeps coming to mind lately.
P.S. Gwishes:
Altar area for yoga practice.
Wardrobe sorted through and organized
Style in word, deed, and appearance
Emotional support for healing and growing
Healthy and happy friendships and adventures
Money and opportunity aligned with best self and talents
I am offering warm, glowing, golden wishes for the Things and Gwishes of Havi, Claire, seagirl, Pearl, asa, Cat, and those who post here after me.
Gwish the First:
Find more and better ways to get the Big Scary Bottomless Needs met.
Qualities: Love. Compassion. Connection. Ease. Tenderness.
Possibilities: Continued self-work. Being open to as-yet-unknown strategies and opportunities. Practicing asking lightly and truthfully.
Gwish the Second, which is a subsection or possible specific strategy for gwish the first:
I want to find, join or help set up a web-based support/empathic listening/NVC group of 3-6(ish?) members, who get in regular (or quite possibly irregular) contact to help and support one another. I want the process of finding this and entering this to be very much in the spirit of what I would like it to become.
Qualities: Support. Sharing. Balance. Flexibility. Permission. Sovereignty. Safety. Comfort. Play. Contribution. Love.
Possibilities: I could get in touch with others who do or might like to try this here or once I join the Floop. Or via Facebook or Twitter or someone I meet elsewhere. I might end up doing something different from what I am currently envisioning. I am playing with: trusting that the time it takes for this to happen is the perfect time for me to get even clearer on what and how I want it to be, which will make the gwish even more wonderful than I can now imagine.
Gwish the Third:
I would like to get into the daily habit of some form(s) of pleasant, healthy physical movement, besides the minimum necessary to meet other needs. I would like this to be something I look forward to and take care of much in the same way I eat, wash and make sure I have clean clothes to wear.
Qualities: Flow. Movement. Sparkyness. Play. Rhythm. Ease. Restfulness. Appropriate Effort. Joy. Aliveness. Strength. Whole-heartedness. Zest. Zip-Zing-Whoosh-Boom-Kapow!
Possibilities: I can be attentive to any small impulses to move, and cater to that impulse as playfully, joyfully and whole-heartedly as I am able. I can be more aware of resting and deliberate stillness and muscle-relaxation (counterpoint). I can rejoice in the strength and mobility I have and have fun feeling my muscles working (playing) all over my body. I could open and watch the tai chi video I have used in the past. I could find new ways to appreciate and keep in mind the good about the walks I do take. I could find some form of (human) walking or exercise partner.
Bonus gwishes:
A beautiful, non-PVC, perfectly-sized, perfectly-surfaced yoga/exercise mat, plus the perfect place for it to be out of the way yet still visible (hanging on the wall??) when not in use.
The perfect covering for my new couch: comfy texture, a pleasant color, easy to put on and take off, stands up to dog-fidgeting, machine-washable.
I will silent retreat this week, with love and gratitude for this beautiful, permission-filled space in which I can say that I am on silent retreat, and be greeted by a community of marvelous people who will honor both my voice and my silence. <3
@Aase, I’m interested in any details about the NVC group.