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Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Thing 1: Operation HUMMING.

Here’s what I want:

One of the things I learned this past week (mini-epiphany!) is that opening scares me, but humming doesn’t.

Which you’d think would not be news. I mean, I open Rally (Rally!) through humming. And I open the Crossing through humming. And my vision of the humming castle is also all about openings.

Anyway, there are all kinds of things that need to be opened right now, but the opening feels vulnerable. So I’m going to find out how I can hum them instead. Or how they can hum themselves. Self-vibrating self-radiating humming goodness.

The qualities inside of the want:

Resonance. Grounded enthusiasm. Welcoming. Belonging. Receptivity. Presence. Radiance. Steadiness. Continuity. Rejuvenation. Regeneration. Sustenance. Trust. Sun.

And the superpower of letting things harmonize through music. Harmonies!

Ways this might work:

Finding out what I already know (but don’t know that I know) about humming.

Interviewing the version of me who excels at humming, and at opening through not-opening.

I could also investigate what is useful about this particular humming and the fact that this is happening now.

And I can choose to spend time around other things that hum. Generators. Fans. Harmonicas. Cafes. People working on projects. Kazoos.

I’m playing with…

Humming the secret hum of Stompopolis.

Becoming a hum. What if I am my own nigun?

Thing 2: Operation DIPPING.

Here’s what I want:

To delight in enoughness, to delight in plenty. But mainly just to delight.

I find delight an easier entry point than trust or gratitude, and definitely easier than all those other problematic words that have to do with enough and plenty. I know how to delight in things.

So now I want to delight more. To expand my ability to find delight in small things.

The first part of this operation is just noticing things to delight in and delighting in them.

The qualities inside of the want:

Presence. Joy. Appreciation. Lusciousness. Pleasure. Trust. Sweetness. Warmth. Laughter. Awareness. Comfort. Congruence. Harmoniousness. Shining.

And the superpower of things that are this cute.

Ways this might work:

There are so many things to delight in! Dogs catching frisbees! A multitude of flavors and colors and textures! All the ways that people vary. A pot of extra-harmonious tea. Skateboarding. Bathtime! Cushions.

Dipping once. Dipping twice. Things that are double-dipped. On all other nights we do not dip not even once, but *this* night…

Delight. In. Plenty. There’s the dip.

Oh, you know what else is dipped? Candles. Yes.

I’m playing with…

Conducting delight like an orchestra conductor.

Conducting delight like a train conductor.

Conducting delight like an electrical conductor: a conduit.

Conducting delight like it is an experiment.

Conducting delight like it is music and science and electricity and moving and alive, which it is. And I am the artist, the dancer, the scientist, the explorer, the person who is close to the ground and still dreaming all the dreams. And humming.

Thing 3: On a mission of 3x Conducting

Here’s what I want:

At my Crossing the Line eight day retreat, I had everyone conduct at least ten times a day. It was… I don’t have a good enough word for what it was. Whatever I say will sound like an exaggeration but it is not.

Fine. It was extraordinary. It was transcendent. It was heaven.

And lately I have not been conducting very much, even though I now have a vault for it.

But last week I discovered that if I commit in the morning to conducting three times (even if just for two minutes each time), then I conduct at least that many times. And everything is better.

Because, as Marisa wrote on the Playground wall, CONDUCTING MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER.

Also it is part of my Year of Emptying And Replenishing (password: compass), so this is part of what I am living by in 2013.

The qualities inside of the want:

Grounding. Steadiness. Comfort. Ritual. Desire. Pleasure. Reconnection. Quiet. Peacefulness. Wonder.

And the superpower of getting quiet enough to hum, as well as the superpower of Oh Right, Nothing Is Wrong.

Ways this might work:

I can use the other people who were at the Crossing as conducting allies. Or announce when I will be conducting.

And I can plant secret reminders everywhere.

Oh, and there can be a secret agent code phrase that means “let’s conduct!”. Code for the code! How about… “I’m going to go check the wiring.”

I’m playing with…

Checking the wiring.

Thing 4: A new (secret) name for Extra Sundays

Here’s what I want:

I use Monday as a secret Sunday. Because Monday is Fake Beach Day.

And sometimes I also use Fridays as Secret Sundays. But I don’t like the phrase secret Sundays, because it sounds too much like ice cream. Sundays/sundaes.

So. Undays? Sun Days? Hum Days?

The qualities inside of the want:

Playfulness. Delight. Simplicity. Mystery. Smiling.

Ways this might work:

It could just come to me.

Or I could talk it over with metaphor mouse.

Or maybe someone here will have some fun playful suggestions.

I’m playing with…

I’ll sit at the Lodge until I know what happens next.

Noticings about the things I want this week…

There is a lot about pleasure and play, about grounding and steadiness. As always, I am happiest when I am messing about with words.

And right now I am… wait for it, delighting, in just how many things I am letting myself want and how they are all interconnected. This is progress.

Bonus wishes, please!

Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.

Replanting some from last week and adding some new ones.

  • Operation Two Anthologies
  • TAJHMA.
  • Toozday?
  • Operation G.O.O.D.W.I.L.L.
  • Finalizing the design for the new business cards.
  • More Secret Flowers.
  • Preparing for the VICARAGE.
  • Move everything around.
  • Letting beauty be its own reason.
  • Feet feet feet feet feet feet feet.
  • The Tree of Life part III?
  • The Geniza.
  • 36 tiny adventurers that are leaving my home and my life.

I’m playing with…

Putting this here and letting it all percolate for however long it needs to.

Playing with bits and pieces of it in the Floop, because the Floop is magic.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted to use fractal flowers on my seven missions, and it worked brilliantly.

Then I wanted secret flowers, and oh wow! Secret flowers are the best! Both the pedicure and bath bomb experiments were loaded with good things. But then I got Actual Secret Flowers when the bouquet of Seekrit Flowers From Floopers arrived on my doorstep. Secret flowers!

And there was an ask about sleep, and that actually resolved itself easily.

As for the bonus wishes…

Operation Luscious Curtains! It happened. I didn’t think it would. Wham Boom. Also my decision about January 2014 was easier than I though it would be. Friday was everything I wished for, and the secret flowers got me there. And I did let beauty be its own reason, though I’m still working on that.

Also I am still de-cobwebbing (an ask from a few weeks ago), and loving it.

Playing. Shelter for the comments.

What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.

I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.

We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.

This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.

That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!

As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.

xox

The Fluent Self