Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Operation Turning and Returning
The situation. And background.
The ten days between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kipur are for t’shuva.
Turning. Returning. And also: answer.
I am thinking about themes of things coming back around, and coming around in new ways. Of returning to truth and things that are truth for me. Of returning to my bell essence.
Letting things reconfigure and come into right relationship. The qualities of Harmony and Congruence. The superpower of everything falls into place in a new way, and I can let this happen, and this is good.
What else do I know about Turning and Returning?
- Giving back things that are not mine (other people’s projections, desires, expectations, energy!)
- Not doing things that are Not My Job, aka not trying to take responsibility for other people’s reactions and responses.
- Any moment can be an entry or a door.
- Things can turn out differently than you think.
- Stones come and they go. It is the way of stones. When a stone has served its purpose, it floats away down the river. The thing to do in this situation is trust that the next stone will come to you. Even when you want to cry, “Oh stone, come back, I need you, you are my only stone!”
- Sometimes stones come back.
- Now is not then. Now is new.
- Emptying and Replenishing are secret twins of Turning and Returning.
- “If you want things to change, you have to first give yourself what you need.”
- It is related to the Shiva aka the superpower of taking things apart and letting them reconfigure, and of course also related to the Compelling Spirals, aka the thing formerly known as The Thing Formerly Known As.
Anything else?
Living on silent retreat has changed everything I do and how I do it, and this is also true for Turning and Returning.
Anything else?
I don’t have to know anything about this mission in order to embark on it.
I don’t have to do anything in order to be on it.
Setting the wish here and naming the qualities is enough.
This is part of the new way of things. Less doing and solving. More intention.
What I want.
To enjoy. To trust. To breathe. To turn and return. Return everything that is not mine. Return to all the parts of me.
To trust in the fractal flowers.
The qualities inside of the wants:
Same compass as last week:
Replenishing. Play. Presence. Pleasure. Plenty. Radiance. Receptivity. Resonance.
And the superpower of Everything That Is Mine Returns To Me.
What might help?
Talking to Incoming Me about turning into, which is what we do together.
What I want.
Some of these are secret agent code or silent retreat. Some are qualities and some are dreams. Some are re-asks and some are pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- Sweet blissful steadiness.
- Miracles everywhere.
- The ballroom has its own magic, just like the Spiegelsaal.
- This doesn’t require my input!
- Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this.
- Past me is a GENIUS.
- Newness. Vitality. Sustenance. Peacefulness.
- I have what I need, and I appreciate it.
- Hawaii.
- Next year’s Rallies fill up by themselves even though I’m not around to tell people about them!
- I can see why this moment is good.
- The superpower of pausing to breathe.
I’m playing with…
Mapping and napping.
Announcement!
A few openings left for upcoming Rallies. You can also get a great deal on a set of either two or three Rallies. They are going to be amazing, and I can’t wait to play with you at Rally.
See the new Rally page for details!
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka Operation Jewel Star….
Silent retreat on this one for now.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
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I keep telling myself that I want to be productive and prepare for the new school year and work on revising my novel, only to keep not doing it. So, obviously I’m having some issues there. I’m thinking that I still feel burnt out and am still trying to replenish myself, as I enjoy what’s left of my summer. Let’s try a different tack this week. I want to find elements of
play
in everything. I want to play with my story. I want to play with getting ready for school, as a series of gifts for future Mel. I want to play with my cool new slackline that came in the mail last weekend.
I also want to experiment with filling my cup. How can I do this. Napping is great, but it obviously hasn’t been enough. I’m enjoying my day of quiet right now. Maybe relaxing in nature would help? A hike? I don’t know. Watching the clouds float by? I’ve enjoyed my summer, but now it’s almost gone and I want to be able to transition fluidly into school and be prepared so as not to be overwhelmed.
I want to feel replenished. I want to feel supported in choices I am making for my health. I want to feel recharged. I want to play with things.
This –> “Less doing and solving. More intention.”
Combined with the irritating frequency of the clue ‘miracles’ showing up in answer to my request to ‘show me the way’.
I mean, SERIOUSLY?? I have to rely on MIRACLES here??? This is not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to have something I can DO, something I can SOLVE and you tell me stoopid angels that what I’m counting on here is MIRACLES??
Do you not know the DEFINITION of miracles is that they are MIRACULOUS, ie. do not happen very often?!?!?
Harumph!!!
So, obvs I’m making an ass out of me and umption there in my beliefs about miracles and the way forward/through/into/of.
But less doing/solving and more intention feels important. Also Havi Bell is ringing “miracles EVERYwhere” which means within my vicinity also. Thanks Havi, for both of those things.
In the meantime I will be playing with hope and faith and action, pretending I am Indiana Jones stepping out across the chasm. It’s an OPTICAL ILLUSION!!! You never know if you never go. The worst that can happen is that I have an awfully big adventure.
Miracles, miracles, come in, come in.
Bam. Done. On their way. Keeping my eyes open……
xoxoxoxo
OMG! This!
“I don’t have to know anything about this mission in order to embark on it.
I don’t have to do anything in order to be on it.
Setting the wish here and naming the qualities is enough.
This is part of the new way of things. Less doing and solving. More intention.”
And “if X is possible, then….”
If I really believe these things, it will change everything.
Yes! May it be so!
Oh yeah, all of this. I don’t even know what mission I’m on anymore, but I love the reminder don’t have to know. *hugs*
“I don’t have to know anything about this mission in order to embark on it.
One might even say that there is no way of knowing which mission you’re on because it always turns out that you were on a different one than you thought you were! in a delightful-surprise kind of a way!
What I am gwishing for:
I recently had a revelation that There Is Nothing Wrong with Filling My Heart With Certain Feelings. Because I always unquestioningly conflated certain feelings with distorted beliefs and anticipation of pain, I judged all the feelings and I judged my heart being giddy and full. But I am releasing the assumption that all of these things go together.
What if I am giddy and feeling all the feelings and ENJOYED them and were thrilled about them and loved myself more for them instead of being panic-stricken and judgy? What if Incoming Me can safely contain Sweet, Innocent, Delighted, Blushing Girl Heart because she also contains the wise, grown-up, sovereign ocean of self-reflecting luminosity? And she knows how to make sovereign sparkling boundaries visible if they become necessary? And she knows how to heal perceptions of brokenness?
In other words, WHAT IF NOW IS NOT THEN AND WHAT-WILL-BE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE LIKE THEN?
That would be marvelous and sumptuous and that is what I want. To be in love with my love and to celebrate my blushing girl-heart with the secure knowledge that I am now equipped with Secret Sovereign Grace.
Another thing I’m gwishing for: the unpainful pain of loneliness. I glimpsed at this from time to time in recent days and it has been marvelous. I want more.
I actually dreamt last night I went to Rally. It was weird, as I suspect Rally is.
Hmmm…
The situation: I’ve sketched out my to do list for Wednesday at least twice tonight. For someone good with numbers, I am having a stupid hard time with the fact that 4 + 8 + 8 + 8 + random quantities of infinity = wayyyy more than 24.
The background: that “popcorn” texture they used to cover ceilings with? I’m picturing a shed spackled from rafter to floor with Ludicrous Fear Popcorn.
What I want? To be okay with what I get to. To be okay about what doesn’t get got to. For other people to be okay about the not getting to.
What else do I know?
Now is not then.
I am adored and admired.
I have attended 56 yoga classes this year, including when I didn’t feel like it.
What would be more ludicrous than the iguana-ness of [x] already is: to be slime-wrestling with the presence of [x] a year from now.
What else?
There are Things I Want under the crust and in the gravy of What I Want.
What else?
Things do keep working out.
What else?
Holy mashup of metaphors, Wonder Woman!
Compass points:
Generosity. Conservation.
Ease. Accomplishment.
Beauty. Functionality.
Security. Satisfaction.
What might help?
Cheri Huber’s book on fear?
Ironing.
Acknowledging/remembering that I don’t really have to [y] until [z].
Warm wishes to all y’all.
So hot here. SO HOT. Making a big pot of green chile. Throwing this wish into the pot: a month in Taos.
Feels like a big one. Would really like that. Mid-October to mid-November would be nice.
Mmmmmm….