Hello, chicken: we are here.
{a breath for being here when we get here}
Thank you, week!
This is the 383rd week in a row we are chickening here together….
What worked this week?
WWAWD
All week I have been imagining/remembering that I am a panther, and it turned out that doing things as a panther is a very useful way to do them.
For example, when the laundry basket was waiting for me to do something with it, and I was siting on the couch looking at it with zero desire to move, I asked What Would A Wild Do, meaning what would one of my wild selves do, and my wild panther self was like, WILD PASSION INTENSITY!
So I stood up and thought-glowed the words WILD PASSION INTENSITY LAUNDRY! And suddenly it was all handled and I was taking care of business.
And now we are going to chicken. WILD PASSION INTENSITY CHICKEN! Like that.
Next time I might…
Wish more wishes and [silent retreat]
Double meaning. I will silent retreat on what I might do next time AND next time I might just employ silent retreat, which is funny, because I don’t speak anyway, but what I mean by that is Interact Less in all forms.
Upcoming biopic if it were based on this week…
Whatever Has Hot Peppers In It Sounds Good To Me
8 breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Misunderstanding. I loathe being misunderstood. A breath for clarity, presence and trust that my true intention will be received.
- The beautiful boy who is far away was even more AWOL than ever, if possible. I would like to be over this already, and I am not, and that is just how it is right now. A breath for ease and releasing, and a wish for real connection, and people in my life who can actually be available for that.
- I woke up in the middle of the night and I had lost my yes. And, related, some things I thought might be fun for me this week were not fun at all. A breath of trust, it’s there even when I can’t see it or say it.
- Perceived obligations. A breath for glowing my glow despite this.
- I still do not like American Thanksgiving. I do not like being alone on the sudden-ghost-town streets, and the memories this conjures up. I do not like any of it. A breath for presence and love for me who went through all the hard things once upon a time.
- The Game is still so ridiculously Rigged. Tiny symbolic example: it took me until yesterday to actually make soup with the soup stock I made on Saturday, in case you were wondering, and that is just one example of how there is just so much doing to be done, so much more doing than can be done, and our world is broken in a thousand different ways, and there are so many challenges in opting out, in finding new ways. A breath for clear seeing.
- I don’t know where I’m going to live until my shed is ready, and this is bringing up so much old pain and fear, and I do not have yes about any of the options for in between, and really needing a perfect simple solution to raise its hand so I can see it. A breath for deep trust, and for asking.
- Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.
8 breaths for the good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- Knowing how distressing American Thanksgiving is — for me — helped a lot, so I wasn’t taken by surprise this year. I did things that help (candles, coziness, being around people in ways that I don’t actually need to interact with them! ) and avoided everything that does not help (the internet!). I did cheesy 80s aerobics with happy people, and went to brunch with Agent Sloan, where I was delighted to be interrupted by a text from the Vicar who was brunching across the room with Agent Galaxy. And then hid for the rest of the day in a safe house that featured a very soft cat. This was good. Of course I missed the boy and thought about our cozy San Diego thanksgiving escape last year. But there have been worse years. Like, probably most years. This was exactly what I needed. A breath of thank-you to past me for everything she set up so that I could be wonderfully cared for on this day.
- I think I might finally be done hating Country Two Step, it’s the one dance I’m allergic to other than samba (and, sadly, contra, though with contra I like the dance itself, it’s just being in a room full of talkative extroverts that does me in, I would totally do Silent Contra). Anyway, country two step is finally starting to make sense to me, and this is enormously exciting. Things can change. THINGS CAN CHANGE! I really needed a reminder of that this week. A breath for positive change, and for feeling positive in general.
- A thing I thought might be pretty fun but wasn’t sure turned out to be EXTREMELY and DELICIOUSLY fun, almost impossibly high fun levels. A breath for things that knock your socks off with delight.
- Guess what, I am here and I made it through all the hard things with flying colors, including a day of 7.5 hours of being around people (5 hours too many), family visit, inconsiderate guests who barged into my room while I was napping, etc. And I’m doing surprisingly great. Like, this all happened and I did not fall apart. I was expecting aftermath, but I’m miraculously okay. A breath of appreciation and inward admiration. Well done, Agent!
- This week is RALLY, and Rally is big, big magic. It is shaking things up, but in exactly the way that they needed shaking. And the glowing is top rate. A breath of steady joy.
- Even when things are hard, I am now able to be in the hard and still access the part of me who is fiercely in love with life, and this is beautiful. And on thanksgiving I was delighted to notice while skipping stones that I felt completely and utterly THANKFUL in every way. So here’s to subverting thanksgiving and reclaiming Actual Thankfulness. A breath for fierce love: this breath, thank you.
- Treasure in my life in the form of delicious blues dancing, getting better at leading swing, peanut butter on everything (and then peanuts on top!), conversations with far-away friends, knowing what I want. A hand-on-heart breath of wonder for the good in my life
- Thankfulness. Everything is okay and so much is good. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
Sparklepoints, superpowers, salve, fake band of the week!
Current ops and forward movement!
Operation Panther Time and the Melting Chocolate mission are go. The Fountaining op is simmering. Operation Ruby Jewel is ready for take-off on Wednesday, and I set up a rendezvous upon my return — with an agent who has higher clearance — to figure out next steps on Sweet Honey and Shed Shed Shed. Thank you, fractal flowers.
I now bestow upon myself a quintillion sparklepoints, like a Fairground Stripper, and you are welcome to do the same for you.
Superpowers I had this week…
Last week I asked for the superpower of remembering my glow, and it’s working! I also had the superpowers of Easy Positivity aka The Surprisingly Good Mood, Knowing What I Wanted And Not Second Guessing It Even When It Was Surprising, and Big Thankfulness.
Powers I want.
More panther superpowers. Wild pleasure, wild intensity, wild joy, wild self-treasuring.
The Salve of (Wild) Self-Treasuring.
This is a perfect salve to wear into December, the month of Treasure More.
The thing with self-care is people don’t realize it’s a starting point, not an end-point. I mean, I get it, when we are deep inside The Game Is Rigged, it is so challenging to do anything for ourselves, so: endless compassion for this.
This salve though is the bridge to understanding, deep in your body, that care is not only vitally important, it is the base minimum. We can apply care and then move from care into self-adoration, self-treasuring, self-welcoming, self-sweetening.
This salve is made of Warmth, Adoration, Mystery, Shelter, Tenderness, Lusciousness, shea butter, juniper berries and rubies. It glows, and it enhances your ability to glow, and not just to glow outwardly but inwardly, to glow qualities through your body.
As you rub it into your skin, you breathe into your glowing jewel-heart, and it’s no longer a question. Of course you are going to care for yourself beautifully to the best of your ability, as you are able, and of course you will be fine no matter what. This is how you treasure yourself. You are now able to do this, even though it maybe sounded a little intense when you picked up the jar.
It is intense, but it is also soft, welcoming, supportive. This is a secret Easing & Releasing salve, and if you keep it by the window, it will soak up some extra sun for you.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band is:
Temporary Calamity
Their latest album is Everyone Hits the Wall At Once and you probably heard them open for Additional Cultural Pressure on Thanksgiving. And get this, turns out the band is just one guy.
ANNOUNCEMENT!
The gorgeous and extremely magical 2016 calendars are ready — The Year Of Doors! — and I believe there are not too many left. You can find yours here. The password: sweetdoors
How was your week?
Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.
And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!
Follow
That salve. Oh my goodness that salve. It is the answer to a question I forgot I was asking.
Chicken to Date. (Sounds like a VPA, but isn’t.)
Hard – Eggnog disagrees. Am avoiding it.
Wolf-feeding. What helped was Using all the Time. It doesn’t have to happen all on the same day.
The Dude fell. Injured, but still functional. The Fluster was very active, but I got the food and we went to bed early.
Good – The Salve of Glowing came with a full-size wand and instructions to use it to write glow in the air as many times as necessary while turning in a circle to make a protective glow.
The Music Library still generates sparklepoints. And good reviews from choir members.
The Dude is contributing, but still needs a job.
It is what it Is – I have to remind myself that Glowing does not end until December. Hospitality is my next Questing Quality and it is hard for me. I have begun asking “What do I know?” A Clue from the Salve: Treasuring Hospitality shown to me. Being hospitable to Me. Maybe it’s not at all about Letting Total Strangers into My Space, which causes Fear and Guilt.
Doing Project X.
Hard: someone close to me is struggling with something, and I can’t really help, and yet the outcome affects me, and I’m a little scared.
Good: by and large, I have been very happy with the ways I have been spending my days. I do not want to take this for granted, and I want to express my appreciation and gratitude for the sovereign choices Past Me has made.
I would like the superpower of A Spring In My Step. I believe it will lead to good things! Also, thank you for the salve; I am using it right now. <3
Hot peppers!
!!!
What worked this week? Harvesting the peppers. Nails and twine. Sleeping in. Choosing sleep over work.
What might I try next: turmeric tea? turmeric cake? turkey shwarma?
Hard, frustrating, etc.:
* Mowers mowed over the hollyhocks I was so excited to see last week. Arrrrrrrrgh.
* So much ugliness and ignorance and hatefulness
* Feeling dour and grouchy and ridiculous
Good, reassuring, and more:
* My sweetie improving the wifi situation
* The dog settling down by the sofa in spite of her irritation with my efforts to groom her
* Greetings from friends
* The moss in my yard
Warm wishes to all y’all.
Happy Friday to all belovweds! Cluck!
I’ve never been a huge fan of Tgiving, and it’s only getting worse. When i saw that there was going to be Rally, i made plans to hold my own mini-Rally at home. That was today, and i think i’ll continue on sunday, and it had been the best thing ever! Thank you so much for these tools, today has ben crazy fun.
What’s working lately: well-tending this month has been about saying No, to invites and obligations and the work piled up right in front of me. Staying home, interacting less. Practice, because i really feel so much increased carrying ability, things that would have stopped me in my tracks a few months ago, i can float it. Today i invoked the supwerpower of Finding the Joy Any/everywhere, and it was there so much iof the day.
Next time i might try: trying to Rally at hoe is hard ebcause, despite beingin support and the youngst kid even playing along, there are rafts of non-sovereignty everywhere. this was somethign taht came up right away.
not that many sucks:
-last week’s bullshit with the snow day and then fucking my car up the following morning sucked. it was a big expense i really do not need, and cost me a chunk of hours in the pay period.
-bouts of anger resnetment as i do all the things and veryone else just waits to be handed dinner. the game is sooooo rigged, and my family doesnt even get how they are part of my obstacles. The Pentagon begins at home.
-being married to an alcoholic sucks. in addition to being frustrating, derailing and tedious, it is disgusting
-dropping lots of little balls. worrisome
-a dozen disappointmenst and slights
-oh man, the worst example of not-sovereign behavior leading to massive shine-dimming and a loss of joy at a fragile, increasingly rare and precious event. see also: husband’s drunken stupidity
but so much sparkle:
-the 30Days of gratitude practice has been really good, it has been comforting
-buying dinner already cooked from Whoel paycheck = the right answer. really lovely dinner
-awesome Dead show on wed nite
-making progress on Ops at work, more support and cooperation form youingest kid to gt to work early. getting towork earlier, staying on task
-so much better at the well-tending
-today’s mini Rally has been winderful
-i’ve been invoking the superpower of everything is working our prfectly, and wow everything is. frex: the day i was short on funds, i got a good lunch for 2.50. my oldest daughter complained that all of her jeans were too tight, and 2 days klater 2 diffeerent coworkers gave me ags of clothes, their own and their daughetsr. All 3 of us got some things, but the jeans my oldest got fit perfectly and are right on time. a breath for all the ways these type of things
-making more art, more writing, more magick
-all of my Hogwarts classes are goign well. it took a while for them to Fractalizing, but they are now and it makes me happy. i am happy i have stuck with it, both the reading and the practical work, it’s really paying off
-more good food, more juice. this is a hard habit to shift but i am working on it. lots of permission and space for this. i am overjoyed every tiem i make somrthing good to eat.
The Hard:
Dreading Thanksgiving Day. Which turned out to be caused by me being in my stuff. Thankfully I put my stuff back outside and had a wonderful day.
The Lovely:
Texts with the Boy like before when we were friends. Making him laugh. So good.
Thanksgiving with the people I love. And the wonderful tiny Bolivian who still likes to be snuggled.
So much yoga. And so much new stuff my body can do. Tiny and daily leads to leaps and bounds.
A rainy day to read and yoga.
THE FOGGY:
*Being at work. Also, feeling ashamed of myself for not feeling like I can just “suck it up, and get through the day” (rinse, repeat) like everyone around me seems to be able to do. Feeling like an outcast, again, and like I must wear that damn mask in order to maintain and get through. I do not want a life of “just getting through”
*Hating holidays. Pretty much all holidays. There is so much expectation around them. I want, instead, ease and playfulness and rest.
*Not sleeping well again. Pretty positive this makes everything even foggier.
*The low-level migraine that seems to be on more than off lately. Seriously. WTF?! Cannot think straight.
THE MAGICK:
*The violin. Ohhhh the violin. I absolutely suck at it (for now!) but how it feels when I hold it, and when I play a clean, clear note (better yet when I play two of them together!). It is the best kind of heaven, this.
*Writing more. Remembering to take the time for ME in the morning and do some writing. It feels good. Whole. Helpful.
*More softness with my family. Today is my 10th wedding anniversary, and my honey got me the *best* card ever (even though he does not love cards… he knows they’re meaningful to me and so he got me the most perfect one yet!). Softness. Taking The Girl and The Little Dude to the library this morning and putting my hand on the back of TLD’s head gently as we walked. Softness. The Girl sharing a song with me that reminded her of me. Softness.
*Cooler mornings. I feel more alive when the heat is dialed down a notch. Even if it’s only in the mornings and the evenings… it’s good.
*Eating real food. The joy of a fresh, local, organic honey crisp apple. Who knew?!?!
SUPERPOWER I WANT:
I am invoking the superpower of Luminescent Depth. That’s where I feel most at home, most myself, most real, most magickal, most clear, most powerful, most true.
I am 100% positive there will be sightings of Luminescent Depth this week. I am curious what it looks like out in the world (wild), and how it behaves in its natural habitat. I will be patiently observing.
Happy Chicken to all!!!
Hello Chickeners
It is such a relief/exhale to have check in ritual with self. Huge gratitude for the space and format <3
What worked this week?
Remembering to forgive. Listening. Patience.
Next time I might…
Rest more.
What was hard?
Big Change made up of many small changes all at the same time.
NO idea where I put an Important Paper.
So much to do.
Forgetting to rest.
Misunderstandings, grouchies, and grumbles.
What sparked joy?
Colorful tablecloth
Hanging up clothesline
Hot tea
Outdoor time
<3 <3 <3
Sending much love to all of you.
Hahaha oh, I *love* “WILD PASSION INTENSITY LAUNDRY!”,
WILD PASSION INTENSITY EVERYTHING!
Lots of sparklepoints for everyone who had to deal with Thanksgiving – you did it <3
What worked this week?
Sitting with my mantra "I have plenty and I am plenty" every morning, and realizing how this is true. It really helped with ignoring all the SALE SALE OMG LAST HOURS OF OUR SALE!! crap. I no longer felt like I was missing out.
Challenges:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
– The central heating pump breaking, and all the crap that ensued – kitchen full of water, Ds mother helping out with cleaning the mess while D was just standing there, ignoring my piercing stares.
– A woman who always parks illegally, blocks people's cars and doesn't pay for parking, blocked our car and I was late for my speaking gig and almost missed it entirely. Strong, dark feelings towards people who act so selfishly and think the laws don't apply to them.
– {Silent retreat}
– Project still dragging on.
Celebrations:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
+ I remained present in most of these situations, looked for inner conflict and did inner work to resolve it. Recognized the symbolism with ease, and learned new things about myself. Met stuck parts of me with gentleness and appreciation.
+ The speaking gig went great! People seemed engaged and had nice things to say. Also got a tip that I could apply for a big event in Vienna this summer, and I'm looking into that. Feeling ready to glow my presence on the stage.
+ A friend told me to save him one of my old drawings because he wants to buy it. Yay for releasing old artwork and making room for the new!
+ Finding more clues on my relationship with art making and writing them down. Also more inspiration for new stuff! The mission hasn't yet officially begun (starts on December 1st) and I'm so excited about it.
+ Noticing on multiple occasions this week how much I changed in the past year, how much clearer I am on what I want, and how much more committed I am to asking for it.
Operation Creative Clarity starts next week, and is scheduled to last until end of December, so I won't be around to chicken and wish with you guys. I'm going to miss this space a lot. Let's hope that I'm able to integrate this practice into my life. And if I'm not, that's also good.
Wishing you all peaceful, calm and grounded holidays.
Keep glowing.
<3 <3 <3
I definitely need that salve right now. Perfect. Thank you. <3