Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

♡

What do I want?

My wish has to do with translating wishes.

I have a lot of wishes right now. Some weeks I have no idea what I want, this week I have lots of intel about lots of wants.

The translating is important because I’ve noticed something about this wishing ritual of ours here.

It is so easy to identify a need, and then immediately go whooshing into what we think the solution is, and make that the wish.

Yes? So I become aware of Problem X or Challenge X or Mission X. My mind instantly leaps to Thing Y as a possible or likely solution, and then I ask for Y, when Y might not be what is needed or even wanted. Certainly Y is not the only solution.

What I want is to meet Question X, without assuming that I know what Answer Y is.

What am I noticing?

Hmm. I do this a lot.

It makes sense. We live in a solution-oriented world. We barely give time for wishes to land before poking holes in them. We forget to say, “Oh wow, what a beautiful wish!”.

I want to spend more time in wish-translation mode. To make sure I haven’t done any accidental conclusion-jumping. Respecting each desire, and staying true to the qualities while still asking questions:

“Is this really what I want? What about it appeals to me? What need does this fill? Are there other ways to fill it?”

So for example, if I want to know about the history of horseback riding, I might think that my wish is to find the best book on the topic, but really my wish could possibly be fulfilled by a person, a website, a documentary, a museum…

What do I want?

This week is Rally (Rally!), and at Rally we always invent a crazy story about why we came to Rally. And then we use it as a proxy and a cover story.

Mine is that I’m a wish translator. Actually it is more complicated than that:

“I”m a wish translator, and I’m here to take down the castle.”

Taking down the castle is one of the wishes I want to translate and unpack…

So maybe this week, instead of processing a wish, I’m just going to practice some translating…

Wish: A portable charger for my phone.

Is this really what I want? What is this a solution for?

Ah, I see. What I want is to not run out of battery charge while I’m writing in the park. (Another wish: more writing time in the park! Less computer-ing!)

This is especially important now that I am spending so much more time on the move because of dance.

What I want is freedom, ease of planning, back-up.

I don’t know yet what else would be the answer, and I can also stay receptive to possibilities. You are welcome to make suggestions for phone charging options, lovely person who is reading this.

Translation of the wish: I want to joyfully set out on a possibly-full day, knowing I don’t have to worry about losing charge on my phone.

Wish: New business cards.

Is this what I want? Yes and no. I meet a lot of people who are interested in the Ballroom.

A lot of times it is hard to tell though if someone is interested in the ballroom (in which case: yay, here is all my contact information!), or if they are interested in the ballroom but also in flirting (hmmm, here is limited contact information…).

So my wish isn’t so much about the cards as it is deciding what they say. And the wish itself is for access and availability, while maintaining a sense of distance and safety. Useful intel.

Wish: Early packing.

I leave in a little over a week for Seattle Easter Swing, a big west coast swing dance convention. I am VERY excited, and more than a little terrified, for a variety of reasons.

I know there are all kinds of things I will need last minute, so I would like to pack ridiculously early. As in, a week before instead of an hour before. Note that this is different than say, a day before instead of an hour before.

What is this about? Reassurance. Calm. Knowing what I will need to be comfortable in a new and potentially stressful environment. During passover. Is there another way I can achieve/receive this? Maybe…

Wish: I need a ride!

I am arriving in Seattle on Thursday the 17th around 4pm, and I need to get to the conference hotel in Bellevue.

I researched the how of this, and there is a direct and inexpensive bus. However, I would also need to navigate a cab ride to the bus station, and much lugging around of suitcases (one for dance clothes and back-up dance shoes, one for things that can be eaten on pesach), and then a 40 minute bus ride after just having been on a bus for the previous three and a half hours, and then more lugging of suitcases. A schlep.

I want a ride! Or: I want to be magically transferred. Something easier.

Here is a penny in the fountain hoping that someone I know in Seattle or a blog reader or a Rally grad would be able to drive me. I am a very boring passenger because I don’t talk, but I am very calm and pleasant to be around, and I will throw in a present from the shop as an additional thank you.

Is there another way? Maybe. Ask as many PDX dancers as possible what their plan is….

Where do I want to start?

Interviewing Incoming me. Skipping as many stones as possible. More time riting for The Book of Xs and Ys. Beautiful dances. To be wonderfully surprised. I trust that people I want to spend time with will say what they think/want, and I do too. Surprising ease. A tiny pen. Dressed to dance. Eight breaths. Mmmmmmmm the Ms. My body gets the deciding vote. Thank you in advance.

My compass for these wishes:

Sustenance. Trust. Presence. Connection. Anchoring. Warmth. Glow. Receiving.

Thank you in advance…

This is the part where I greet each of my wishes:

Oh wow, what a beautiful wish.

Spaciousness and welcoming for the wishes. And some effervescence. The salve (and quality) of the month, with the superpowers of bubbles and bubbling.

What else do I want?

• Everything is easier than I thought, and look, miracles everywhere.
• I go out dancing at the ballroom.
• This doesn’t require my input!
• Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this. Past me is a GENIUS
• I have what I need, and I appreciate it. There are resources to do this.
• Trust and steadiness. I can see why this moment is good.
• Hawaii.
• I am fearless and confident. I do the brave things and it is not even a big deal, and I still get sparklepoints, yay.
• This week’s ops: Last prep for Operation Bell View. First steps on Operation Take Down The Castle. Writing in the park.

Clues?

San Diego. It just keeps coming up.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

So. Last week, aka a home for wishes…

Last week’s wish made me think a lot more about my wishes, and my relationship with my wishes.

I noticed how much I crave light-heartedness in addition to safety when it comes to wishing. In fact, sometimes for me the safety comes from the light-heartedness, knowing that I don’t have to figure out how the wish needs to happen, just rejoicing in the fact that I let myself wish it. I am being a better friend to my wishes.

Also had an idea about workshops at the ballroom, which I will run by Richard. I did a ton of writing for the Book of Xs and Ys. And the graceful transition I asked for showed up in an entirely different form than what I was imagining, but I’m happy that it is here, even though I cried a lot while it was happening. It definitely was graceful though…

Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.

I wish to whisper a whisper about the Monster Manual! It comes paired with the world’s best coloring book, which does so much monster-dissolving magic that even if you wait to try the techniques, you’ll still feel better about everything.

Self-fluency is hard enough, we need ways to to interact with the thoughts-fear-worry-criticism that shuts down creative exploring. And when people get the manual, I am able to me spend more time writing here. So if you don’t need help with monsters, get one for a friend. Or plant a wish that someone gets it for you! And bring people you like to hang out here. The more of us working on our stuff, the better for all of us. ♡

Keep me company?

Consider this an open invitation to deposit wishes, gwishes, personal ads. In any size/form you like, there’s no right way. Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is anything sparked for you.

Commenting culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We are on permanent vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play.

Let’s throw things in the pot! And: Amnesty. Leave a wish any time you want.

xox

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