Today I’m off to Denver!
By imaginary ocean liner. Though I will actually arrive in Denver. That part: not imaginary.
The Denver-ing itself is the result of all sorts of support. Unexpected helper mice being marvelously helpful in a variety of ways.
Like Audrey, who spent hours tracking people down, making calls and getting things sorted so we could run our gorgeous full-page Shiva Nata ad in the program at roller derby Championships.
Or Liz, who offered to drive me and the First Mate from Denver to Boulder, where I’m teaching tomorrow, and then back to our hotel.
Then Taylor offered a house to stay in, which I will totally take her up on the next time I’m in town.
And Leni, who sent a magical postcard offering help and support back when this trip was just a tiny baby wish.
Audrey, Taylor and Liz have all been to Rally (Rally!), and I know Leni from here!
And on short notice.
A couple days ago I realized that we would need some sort of stage after all at my Shiva Nata workshop, and so I asked if anyone had ideas.
Turns out lots of people did. And many of them sent in suggestions to the First Mate.
Liz was able to locate risers at her son’s school.
And Beth has the perfect sized table that you can stand on to teach (and she teaches, so this table has had practice!), and offered to bring it in her car.
Nicole had cinderblocks she could bring if someone else had a board.
It was like having perfect, simple solutions land in front of my feet.
Not just for me, though.
There’s a facebook group for the graduates of Crossing the Line, who spent eight days together at the Playground with me last month. They’re constantly helping each other in the most amazing, silly and unexpected ways.
Last week, three members of my 2009 Kitchen Table program got to hang out together in Montreal.
Two years ago I taught a one-day workshop in Sacramento. Two women who met there have spoken for an hour by phone every week since then to work through business and personal stuff, offer encouragement, brainstorm. Every week for two years.
I see people who have been to Rally (Rally!) with me doing things for each other. Graduates of my Shiva Nata trainings encourage new teachers online.
And commenter mice here have bought each others’ stuff, become friends, visited each other in person. It’s beautiful.
It’s an extraordinary thing.
There isn’t really a word that is good for what I’m trying to describe.
Community is so over-used and it doesn’t seem to hold all the sparkliness.
This is the thing that I have always wanted and didn’t even know I wanted:
A world where there is support, shelter, companionship, warmth, creativity, hilarity, experimentation, amnesty, strength, permission and play for everyone who wants to be there. In a completely sovereign and non-forceful way.
As in: These qualities are available to you in whatever amount and form you desire, but you do not need to partake of them unless you happen to want them.
Not an us-versus-them. Just an optional togetherness where there’s company when you want and need it. With people who are just the kind of people I want to hang out with. Like all of you.
Here’s something I’ve been thinking about lately.
It often happens that biggified bloggers will shut down comments on their blogs. For a variety of perfectly legitimate reasons.
And when this happens, comparisons get made out there in the world-of-blog to my decision three years ago to go on email sabbatical.
I find this fascinating, because — to me — there is no parallel.
Email sabbatical was a way to bring in more spaciousness into my life so that I could spend more time with my people and my world, and be more present with you guys. Together, as a community.
It was a way to open things up so that I can create and write things for us, and spend more time at the local twitter pub and the Frolicsome Bar (our facebook hangout).
It was a move towards connection. Towards a strong, loving, supportive community of people who are all working on their stuff, each in his or her own way, but with the warmth and appreciation of the collective.
There is no one right way.
I’m not trying to say that no-comments is a terrible move. It’s clearly the right solution for some people in some situations.
(And of course any decision related to how you work or write or live is valid. You know what you need.)
There isn’t one way to create a world, forge a vocabulary, go on adventures or build a loving network of support and connection.
There are endless ways.
But I am overjoyed that the way that we have found has turned out like this.
This is the kindest, friendliest and most supportive place on the internet.
One of my favorite things in the world is reading the comments on the Friday Chicken when you guys review your week.
I read every single Very Personal Ad that you guys leave, and make a secret wish for you getting what you want and need. And also for all the people who are silently joining in on their own.
Support is something I have a hard time with. I crave it and resist it. Having this blog and running the Playground has been a gigantic healing for past-me.
You guys have helped me in so many ways, just by being here.
And knowing that I can call on you guys for ideas, reassurance and playtime is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Tomorrow I will see twenty-seven of you lovely people in Boulder. And then I’ll see more of you at Championships, where Rose City is going to be taking the world of derby apart.
Speaking of awesome communities: derby! You guys! Go to a bout and get involved with your local team!
And the rest of you — someday it will happen. We will get to drink tea together and play at the Playground, and it will be grand.
Until then, please know that you are appreciated and adored by me. Even if you’ve never commented. Even if you don’t ever plan to buy anything.
Even if you have no idea what I’m talking about half the time.
The fact that you read stuff here has added to this world of mine being special and sparkly. So thank you for helping me realize that support is a thing. It’s real.
Okay, enough of that.
Don’t let me start crying.
I just did my fabulous plane-flying make-up.
Do you want to see the ad we’re running at Championships?
It’s gorgeous.
Right? That’s another wish you guys have helped me with. Spreading hot, buttered epiphanies throughout the world with the help of Shiva Nata.
You can click on the image to see it in its glorrrrrrrious full-size!
Play with me. And the extra-supportive commenting blanket fort.
If you want to mention a way that you have received or experienced support in some form because of this space, that would be beautiful.
Or you can leave a tiny pebble.
Declaring silent retreat is always welcome.
We’re all working on our stuff. We take responsibility for our experience and let other people have their experience. We make this a safe space by agreeing to not give each other advice (unless people ask, of course!).
Love, as always, to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
Follow
Yay! *Virtual hugs and a flower for you, Havi*
I know I always find blessings and encouragement from your blog and I try to share the love around with others that I know.
So, thank you, too!
Yes, yes! Yes. And some more yeses.
That is all. And a embarrassing half-tear.
There really should be a more sparkly word for community.
It is a wonderful thing in that the kindness and friendliness and supportiveness of this space continues on and touches other spaces on the internet. I can always feel it when my blog receives visitors from this space. And I have met some of my favorite people, and found numerous things/services, and received support and encouragement and sales, from this community. Thankful for all of it. And to know that I am working on my stuff in community, which just makes the whole process even better.
Plus, it’s just a good place to be.
Have fun at Championships! This winter, I am de-termined to get to a roller derby bout.
A quick comment cannot express how much my world view has expanded to include an understanding and appreciation for me – due in large part to the thoughts and ideas you share so generously. Barrington reminds me of my Hawk Warrier Princess persona – both me and other. This summer four hawks were born in the tree just outside my window. It was an incredible gift to watch them grow up. I came to appreciate their perseverance,(initially they were so awkward at flying – amazing since this is something they were BORN TO DO), focus, and strength and I decided that this band of brothers were clearly my allies – helping me to remember part of who I am. When I am afraid, which is often, I picture them flanking me and I am one of them. Most people would say I was crazy. I would never have allowed myself this freedom of thought if it hadn’t been for your words. Thank you.
*leaves pebble (with sparkles)*
When I read the VPAs and Chickens I always go through and read the comments, then I leave mine, then I go back through and click on all the links to visit everyone’s blogs. This is the only blog from which I do that, because generally your people are writing about cool stuff!
I’m so glad to hear that you were able to book passage on the ocean liner. I hope you remembered to ask for an outside cabin, so you’ll have a view of the mountains and can feed the seagulls.
We have some very active Roller Derby teams here, but I have yet to make it to a competition. While I’m married to an assertive woman, I fear that I might just melt to a puddle of goo in a room with that many strong women. Do you have any support chants or mantras that you could share with me, and normal man, that would help me be safe in that kind of environment?
Or even specific patterns of hand waving? Or a duck?
Mmm. Sighing with happiness that you have this wonderful place, and that we get to share in it. Yay for that.
That full-page ad is glorious and very beautiful. How exciting that the people who see it will be making their very first encounter with Shiva Nata, a practice that could completely deconstruct and put back together their world in the most remarkable ways.
Happy travels to the Pirate Queen and her crew!
Aww! I did cry, this is indeed the most beautiful place of the Internet, yay =)
Even though it took me some time to implement the stuff you teach (hey, it even took me some time to fully trust that it’ll work in the first place!), and I’m still “not quite there yet” and hatin’ it at times, I’d like you to know, Havi, that your thing has been an awesome source of support for me in these past two years.
And I’ve decided to come to Portland to see the Playground some time in the (hopefully) near future, all the way from Europe! Now how great is that? 🙂
A deep, hand-on-heart sigh for all of this.
Oh, Havi. Wah!
I love this space, and these people, so very much. Every now and then I even notice that I am one of these people, and get a delighted little shiver.
There’s more, but just…thank you. Thank you so much.
I echo everything said here! Leaving a tiny pebble and a deep hand-on-heart sigh. The place is amazing (now there’s an overused word!) and wonderful and I am learning so much in so many ways. Thank you and hugs to you, Havi, and to everyone else.
“A world where there is support, shelter, companionship, warmth, creativity, hilarity, experimentation, amnesty, strength, permission and play for everyone who wants to be there. In a completely sovereign and non-forceful way.”
Yes! All of these things and much more. It sounds like a Playground! But perhaps it’s a ‘fellowship’ too?
Leaving a tiny (red-and-green striped) pebble for this beautiful space.
* leaving 1000 silent pebbles because of too much emotionality *
@ seagirl – me toooooo :).
* one pebble out loud: I love it here. I wish wish wish I didn’t live on a different continent so I could join. One day. And in the mean time I love it in the blog community. It is the best most supportive environment i have found for this work I am doing, which is writing a long dissertation. it is changing the way i think about everything. *
THANK YOU
Silent Retreat!
off to the bat cave to send silent happy wishes
I’m very new to this space and haven’t commented before, but I want to say thank you. I’ve been going through the archives, reading post after post – posts that seem to be speaking *directly* to me, like they were written for exactly what I’m feeling and going through and working on and dealing with. So… thank you. I have no other words right now, just… thank you.
I just wanted to say… Thank you, Havi, for being who you are and writing this blog. And for sharing your experiences with us.
Your words have helped me more than I could ever imagine. I still can’t believe I found you, but thank goodness I did.
Yay! Me and a fellow Biggification Camper are hanging out in Chicago this weekend!
I’ve gotten clients, customers, and amazing friends through this blog, the KT and everywhere in the world where you are.
Love you so so much and wishing you a delightfully smooth adventure!
@Johanka, how wonderful! Just deciding to go to the Playground made such a difference to me. May it be so for you!
“Adored” … one of the secrets of the Fluent Self/Playground community … we all share adoration for each other, in one way or another. And for ourselves, which we may not have understood quite so well before.
Thank you, Havi!
(Hand-on-heart sigh)
I have been able to do some things this year, especially after Rally (Rally!) which had been extremely elusive for quite a while. This is definitely linked to what I’ve been learning here, about how to be creative, sovereign, and creative, and how to get help from the universe.
By the way, the Shiva Nata ad is glorrrious, as is the derby page on the Shiva Nata site.
And have a wonderful time in Denver!
I really love this space. Thank you to Everyone.
This space has given me so many gifts of help and support! It reminded me of so many games and techniques I used once, taht I’ve forgotten and need to re-engage.
Sparkle points! Front of the V! Talking to Monsters! Silent retreats!
And of course the Flailing. That alone has pushed everything else along. The Flailing has helped with my PTSD and my addiction issues. Also made me a better parent. No lie.
And given me a hint that perhaps, just perhaps, I can create spaces as juicy, forgiving and creative as I need them to be.
also given me permission (not tht i needed any) to wear the Kitty Cat Ears of Sovereignty, costumes, secret identities and rock my piracy-flow as muchas I damn well please.
…I’m not entirely sure what I would have done if you’d taken me up on those cinder blocks. Presumably, the person with boards would have had a car. Or I would have wobbled down 30th with VERY HEAVY BIKE BASKETS.
Everything was beautiful! Everything *is* beautiful! “Look, the internet did a good thing!”
I found this place just when I really, really needed to, and then rediscovered it when I needed it even more. Thank you.
*pebble wif shells in*