Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Yay! The first Chicken of the New Year.
Better already.
Which is good, because this week was pretty intense, and I’m feeling a bit dazed.
Let’s see what happened. Hmmm.
The hard stuff
No weekend, again.
Thanks to the mad tech problems with reopening the Kitchen Table after dry-dock, I worked the entire weekend and so I was already burnt out before the week even started.
Not good.
Feeling like the guy from that yiddish parable.
You know, “it could always be worse!” and then he ends up living with sheep and goats and guess what, it is worse.
Like that. š
Every time something got unbroken, something else broke. On a deadline, with a hundred people waiting. No sooner would we say march back to square one, then square one would crash and we wouldn’t even have that anymore.
Incredibly frustrating.
Body unhappy.
Actually it was me unhappy which lead to not sleeping which lead to body unhappy which lead to sleepy, careless accidents.
Twisted my back moving desks at the Playground, sliced my knee, two papercuts and another back-related thing.
We forgot to hand out the valium in the welcome packets again.
Since this is the third year in a row that I’m running the Kitchen Table program, and I already know that everyone goes into mad freakout mode the first week, you’d think I would be expecting this.
Oh wait, I was.
It’s just that I thought everyone else would also remember this.
The patterns. They are predictable.
Normally I find this phenomenonā¦interesting, entertaining, fascinating, intriguing.
This week not so much.
No movement on the one thing that really needed movement.
Between the chaos and commotion of the week, the one thing that really needed to happen didn’t.
Which means that a bunch of other things are going to have to move and change.
Pretty sure that something good will come out of the chaos, but I don’t know what it is yet.
Valium for everyone! On to the good.
The good stuff
A zombie yule miracle.
Against all odds we really did manage to get the Kitchen Table open on Monday.
Even though the day before so many things had been broken that it seemed like there was no way out of the mess.
I credit the the wonderful round-the-clock emergency work of our dedicated tech genius. And the Very Personal Ad. And the helper mice!
Huzzah! A big source of worry turning out to be okay.
Fun! With clients.
Now that I’m out of my own end-of-the-year dry dock period, I was back to seeing clients all week and it was so much fun!
Much silliness and laughing and intensely creative solving of problems and destuckifying.
It was really just a pleasurable thing, and I was happy to be back to my routine.
Movement! And momentum.
Like finally moving some of the 3-ton desks at the Playground. And fixing lots of things-that-needed-fixing.
And getting new rugs.
It looks absolutely gorgeous. But mainly I feel inspired by this burst of movement.
Obsessing over spirographs again.
It really is the most shivanautical thing ever.
Thanks to Claire for sharing this. Wow.
A day off! With a friend! When does that ever happen?
Not just a day off, but a day full girl talk and pizza-eating and hilarity.
And hanging out at the Playground, of course.
Oh, how I love Shannon. You should too. She’s marvelous.
Bill Bailey introduced me to the possibility of using the word spatchcocking as a descriptive insult.
And now I can’t stop.
This may have saved my week, because it brought on a fit of the giggles, and that was so exactly what was needed.
Fabulous Rallying of Rally coming up in 3, 2, 1!
This Monday is a special Rally that I’ve been looking forward to for ages.
Selma and I get to meet some of our favorite people ever, and it is all VERY exciting!
And only one more week until Roller Derby starts up again.
I’ve seriously been going out of my mind without derby bouts to watch.
We’re sponsoring Guns N Rollers again and I’m so thrilled for this season that I can hardly stand it.
If you’re in Portland, come next week! And wear pink and black, or I’m not even talking to you.
Seriously, come find me — I’ll be the one in the outrageously hideous (but glamtacular!) pink and black camo faux fur mini-skirt, probably holding a duck.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band:
Pig-Faced Tyrant
And it’s the worst band in the entire world. Oddly enough, it’s actually just one guy.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.
And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
Follow
Friday chicken! I’m in a bout of non-chickening, but I had to chime in on the spirograph thing.
Spirograph! If you love spirograph, take a look at Lesley Halliwell‘s work. Check out her portfolio, starting at the earliest years. I saw her on a BBC show last week and was in awe. That’s some serious spirographing.
Have a glorious week, Chickeneers of the High Seas!
ow, papercuts and valium and chickens, oh my!
yay for zombie yule miracles š
this week was the hardest of hard and the goodest of good I think. not a lot of either but intense of each.
Hard:
opening the email from the OAC and seeing that I didn’t get the grant. I wasn’t counting on it, but this year the application went together so easily and I felt really good about it. I still do, but I also had to deal with the “why isn’t my work good enough” monsters for a while as well.
having a huge steel toed Doc Marten thrown at me the next day, right after telling the shoe thrower that I didn’t get the grant. huge. there were better ways to do that. and better timing. and then getting blamed for being upset by it by way of passive aggressive “apology” (“I’m sorry you were hurt or offended or whatever”) and not really being able to cut the shoe thrower out of my life because, well, I made her.
being the third wheel and getting mixed messages about that. realizing I deserve better. feeling very sad at possible endings. spending yesterday alternately in tears and numb.
good:
I got my paint, I got my paint, I got my paint!
I played with my paint and it was awesome. Especially once I caught myself trying to be precious and perfect and reminded myself that I was there to play. Two handed art making at its finest. So cool.
Yoga. Life.Saver. That is all.
And my friend with the hair coloring? Turns out her hairdresser has already been coming to her house to cut her hair. My friend just didn’t ask about coloring because she thought it would be too hard. Amazing reminder of the power of the ask. And of friends. š
Well, I’ll have a Chicken if you won’t, inge. š
My week was awesome! I’m sorry you have so much hard going on, Havi. š
My hard: Cramp in my calf, while in the deep end of the swimming pool. OK, I wasn’t at risk of drowning or anything, but it bloody well hurt, and still does, actually. What the heck, calf? I do all this yoga, and still you hate me? Bah.
Everything taking twice as long as I expected it to. At what point am I going to wake up to this and start expecting things to take longer? Hm? Not this week, clearly.
Good stuff: Everything else. I have a new morning habit involving a sketchbook and pencil, and although it’s only been a week, I think we’re going to be good friends.
So good to be home after the holidays. The holidays were also wonderful, but there’s no place like home.
And despite it taking twice as long as I expected, I did make good progress on my new Thing.
Hope the other chickeners also had good weeks, or if not, that next week will be better. *waves at you all*
Whew, what a heck of a couple of weeks!
The Hard:
-Very sick for a week. The cold from hell settled into my throat and hung on for dear life. Quite miserable.
-Being out of sorts from being so sick. My body’s slow and stiff, and my chest is still tight.
-Finding out on Monday I was behind on work due to being out sick last week. I had *no* idea I had been assigned additional work! Felt stupid, out of the loop, guilty, etc. Monsters galore on that one!
The Good:
+My bf took good care of me while I was sick, making me chicken noodle soup from scratch and running out to get me more tissues and cough drops.
+Slowly emerging from the sick fog. *Just* starting to feel like myself.
+Am gearing up to move my body again. How I miss my body!
+Caught up on a week’s worth of work in 2 days. I rocked those projects!
+Catching up on other parts of my life, such as appointments, budget, etc.
+Tutoring for the first time in 3 weeks. Delightful!
+A new journal for the new year.
Quick chicken while the houseguests are getting organized for the day.
This week’s hard:
– Realizing how much more often we have to clean house to prevent it from getting to the state it was in yesterday morning again. Cleaning house does not bring me joy.
– Missing yoga on the first day back after break. Had so looked forward to going, but it ain’t gonna happen this morning.
– A backhanded compliment has me overanalyzing everything about that relationship.
– Grownups acting like children, not in a good way.
This week’s good:
– Ahead on my current editing project, which is a crazy fun book that makes me laugh. Being ahead is letting me take today totally off to spend with the houseguests.
– Music in the office again! Totally forgot how much I missed it.
– Next week’s week of doing nothing but play is already shining a lovely aura into this week.
Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
This year I really want to interact with more people, more fabulous people, like pirate queens and commenter mice š I’ve actually started using some of the other suggestions you’ve written about on here Havi, and they are rather awesome, so thank you. So… I thought I’d try joining in here.
*waves back at Willie, and everyone else* š
Chicken… right:
Hard:
The car engine died. This is replacable but we’ve just moved and I have an income big enough to cover rent and nothing else, and we’ve moved out to the countriside. Car is essential! And, it means I still don’t have all my stuff moved!
Dizzy spells. I used to get these, but shouldn’t any more since the Doc said it was just a teenager thing. Um, I’d like them to stop now. They come with nausea. I’m not impressed.
Trying to just keep moving, breathing, not panicking about health and money leading to limitations… funnily enough, these were things I clocked that needed work towards the end of last year – thanks universe…
Good:
New home! My home! Rented, yes, but with an excellent landlord who says we can do what we like to it! Yay!
Living back in Wales! So so so happy! (Its where I’m studying, and my favourite place to be. And it has friends.)
Friends! Yay!
Actually spent some time playing with acrylic paints, and it hasn’t turned out too bad š So maybe I can take advantage of the quick drying time and do more, bigger paintings?
I’ve managed to post weekly, for 6 weeks, on my Faery Heart Project (specifically, Pixie Kisses) and this week I actually got ahead of myself! And shipped the last of the books I needed to ship!
And I sold a painting and a bracelet! To strangers! Whee!
***
Its strangely difficult to write things like this, the hard stuff feels like complaining and focussing on negatives, and the good stuff – yay – feels a little like bragging. Is that why its called Friday Chicken? Because it feels like running at the omgotherpeoplewill judgeme feeling (and/or other monsters) and seeing who chickens out first?
*hugs all round* š
Hi dear Chickeneers,
The Hard:
-I spent most of my time at work this week wishing I were working on my thing instead of being there. Despite the fact that the people are lovely and I have a bright pink lamp.
-Lots of tired. Transitioning back to doing lots after relaxing lots can be tricky.
-Needing some quality alone time.
-Somebody threw a shoe at me. On the subway. Flying subway shoes!
The Good:
-Did some great work on my thing in the time I had for it.
-I’m in love with my new calendar. It may be the best gift I’ve ever gotten.
-I received some lovely testimonials from some past clients and added them to my website.
-Got some really difficult copy about my services finished and posted. That felt really great.
-I’m ever-so-slowly working through Book Yourself Solid, and it’s really helping me to clarify things.
A beautiful (and maybe even snowy!) weekend to all.
@Halo – Welcome! We LIKES hearing about the good from everyone else. š And I find that actually stating it makes me feel like I actually accomplished something instead of focusing on everything that went wrong.
@Havi… Imagining a chicken on valium… not a pretty sight…
But… Chickening!!!
The hard…
SO tired. Last week was all about the Hard. This week was all about the recovering. And it’s Hard to acknowledge the need for so much sleep!!!
My back still hurts (I sprained it at Thanksgiving, and still can’t shimmy worth a durn.)
The Good
Everything finally just clicked together for my direction this year, and I wrote TWO RATS!!! TWO! And although the stuff that they announce isn’t finished, it’s well on its way! YAY!!!
I turned the compost heaps! And broke the ground on the front garden and started preparing it for spring planting of garlic and peas. Yay peas! Yay garlic!
Haven’t chickened in a bit, so why not chicken on the first chicken of the new chicken? I mean year?
Hard
-shoe. ouch.
-the shoe seemed to settle right in my third chakra, and now my whole body feels disjointed. not sure how to get it out of there. pattern? yes.
-was already feeling a bit dark, and now the darkness is deeper.
-deadline stress. brought on by the same person who always causes it. myself. pattern? yep.
-unreasonable requests. and reasonable ones that i can’t assimilate due to stress and dark. pattern? uh-huh.
Good
-friends offering some light to cast into the shadows.
-clementines.
-awareness of the pattern, even if i don’t want to do anything about it. yet.
Wow! Chicken is good stuff š
Hard:
-Secret plan to take a few days off didn’t work out
-Zero forward motion on business thinking and plotting
-Rush, Rush, Rushing around
Good:
-Neck and back are way better now YAY!
-Working with lovely creative biz clients – they are awesome and spectacularly wonderful!
-Have a new and improved Super Secret plan to take time off next week š
My first Chicken.
The Hard
-Very tired this week. Spent a lot of it sleeping when I wasn’t working.
-Didn’t work as much as I wanted – jobs got cancelled. Means less income for this month.
-Another misunderstanding with hubby. And at the end, looking back, not sure why or how it happened.
-Feeling a bit disoriented at my first Kitchen Table.
The Good
+I had the time to catch up on my sleep.
+I read a lot of Wishcraft by Barbara Sher. Aawesome! I’ve got a plan for the next step of my Thing.
+I got most of the transferring of files from old computer to ‘new’ computer done. Took longer than I expected, but I persevered.
+Misunderstanding with hubby didn’t end as horribly as it usually does. We made a few forward steps trying to figure out what happened.
+Overwhelmed by the positive and friendly feelings I got from everyone at the Kitchen Table.
+
Hard:
-Occasional trouble falling asleep when it was time for that, paired with occasional trouble staying awake when it was time for that.
Good:
+Fabulous, energizing Candide rehearsal. I am so glad I decided to be a part of this!
Very tiny chicken from me this week. I’m not sure why. Peep!
The Good:
Bills getting paid which means money in the bank! Yay for all the services that support my business! Yay for paycheck for me!
New clients calling and making appointments and not running away when I quote my consult fee! Yay!
Headstand in yoga this morning. Super bonus headstand.
New cross country skis! (Free to me!)
Seminar on Monday canceled. yay. Really didn’t want to do it. Offering free consult to folks who had signed up.
Massage yesterday. ooh, yum.
leaving office early. yum.
The Hard:
Saggy bottomed jeans. (It’s just one guy.)
Wanting a boy. Not finding one just yet.
I wasn’t going to join this week, but I just spent 25 minutes on the spirograph. Thanks for the link, feeling much better now [all the purdy colours!!]
The good: going back to uni tomorrow: freedom. real food. friends!
the bad: missing my other half – he’s not been well and i can’t help cos i’m 85 miles away. >_> stress and worry.
Bring on next week!
Friday Chicken! YaY! (somehow Friday *chicken* just reminded me of the Very Long Time my father spent in a hospital that did the fish on Friday thing. fortunately he loved fish. years ago that was. memory is a funny thing.)
Any who! This week!
The Hard — Tuesday lunch with my mother and her new husband. Oh the shoes! (seems like lots of people had shoes this week. what’s up with that? and how do we invent a super seekret shoe disintegration ray?)
Having to start working on planning schtuffs for the next round of Day Job projects. So hard to get going again.
The Good — Shiva Nata! This was a lovely Pretty Tree Day gift, and I’m already amazed at the boost to the problem solving skills (like “srsly? i can schedule deadlines on days other than Friday? that’s allowed? who knew this?”)
LOML, who arrived home Tuesday evening with a cheer-up-the-weef-after-her-rotten-afternoon plan.
Running around all week to fun websites doing whatever the Thing is (like Secret Play Date and Wishcasting Wednesday and One Tiny Thing Thursday) btw, are links allowed in comments? i’ve never noticed before.
Supplementing my to do list with an Amazing Accomplishments list.
And that’s my Chicken.
Happy Friday, Chickeners!
Here we go!
The hard:
End of the sick still hanging on.
Hmm, that’s about it for the hard!
The good:
Lots this week!
Well enough to sing and play hard at folksinging group.
My duo got two more gigs!!! We have time to practice a whole lot this weekend. Not so much practicing these last weeks and I’ve so missed it and him.
More love notes on my blog! Including one from my amazing niece!
I changed a pattern (see last week’s VPA) and finished a deadline while sick without freaking out and while taking care of myself. Wow.
I got my 81-year-old dad’s blog up!! He’s thrilled and can’t sleep because he keeps thinking of more posts!
Hugs to all!
The Harrrrrd
1. The Evil Dead flu. It. Just. Won’t. Die. – Day 10
2. The Beetle Died
AFTER we put $2000 dollars in to repairs and requiring emergency leasing of new car. With pesky car payments. And no cute factor. AND it has a bum tire (Guess it didn’t get the memo that it’s a NEW car). All lame.
3. Unproductivity
See number 1. Ruining all my plans to prance in to 2011 being all sparkly and productive.
4. Huge client miscommunication. That was nobody’s fault. But it still felt like a shoe.
The Good
Ummmm….ummmmm…
1. Kitchen Table
Overwhelming. But so much fun to be in the presence of so many sparkly and thoughtful people. Still not sure quite how it’ll work – but already inspired to play a bigger game.
2. Cauliflower mashed potatoes. Vegan gravy. And peas.
Potatoes are my absolutely favorite food in the world. But they make my body hurt. These are totally yumm-o and pain free!
3. My new rebounder (Pink!) is on the truck for delivery and minutes away from my door.
4. First paid design job!
@Halo – Bore da! Welcome. (That also might not be spelled correctly. Apologies if not.)
This week has either great or hideous. No in between.
The hard:
– someone doing something that not only wasn’t great, but then set off every monster I have regarding personal relationships. Which then to me drawing the most horrible conclusions. That totally weren’t true. Argh!
– being worried about someone going through a very hard time.
– having to walk through the blood of someone who’d be stabbed at lunchtime because the pavement hadn’t been washed down properly. Yuck.
– complete violation of personal space/norms of behaviour, and then the person involved getting arsey about being asked to stop.
The good:
– Sorting out the personal horribleness and back to being friends who laugh about rubbish.
– Getting the uni work I needed to done.
– Changing roles at work – what a difference. And I feel like I’m doing something useful too.
– Taking some photographs I really like and getting excellent feedback from people whose opinion I respect
– In the process of arranging new tattoos. Finally!
– Referred myself to the Red Cross for scar cover-up makeup for burlesque! purposes
– Hearing from burlesque teacher that should be able to get rehearsing soon
– Buying make-up for burlesque!
– Yummy food
– Buying gorgeous art
– Standing up for myself with the personal space thing, and getting tons of support.
Time for pizza and wine I think! Have a gorgeous weekend everyone.
The Hard:
Figuring out how to elevator pitch one of ‘my thing’-s. Next, how to do it without mildly spicy language. Or maybe I should leave it in. Who hasn’t dealt with an asshat in their time?
Hit a bit of a wall with my other ‘thing’ that connects with the first one, or would if I could figure out how to do it. If only there were a button that would connect everything for social media and it said “press me now and I’ll do what you want and you’ll have lots of money.” For all I know, there is. Hard, struggle, hard. bleh
Figuring out who my target audiences really are. I have so many options here.
Trouble falling/staying asleep. Trouble keeping myself on task and not throwing shoes at myself for not staying on task.
Trouble de-should-ifying.
Trouble with relationship transitions. Having and resisting the urge to throw a shoe at someone. OK, a few someones.
The good
A quiet ringing in of the New Year.
Realizing that flinging a shoe, no matter how accurately placed it is, is not going to help me.
A quietly honest talk with someone I care about muchly without me being attached to the outcome.
An old employer fronted the money to keep my car on the road. Happy ecstatic grateful for that. Power of good connections and not being an asshat at work.
My Vice Pawsident still loves me, even though I spend more time on a laptop than is probably healthy lately.
A really amazing friend I have who calls me every night and who actually listens. Realizing he’s totally the kind of man I want in my life. Grateful I have him.
Going out for Chinese this evening. Maybe a Mai-Tai.
Truly grateful for what I have.
I was asking for Xanax earlier this week, but I think I like the Valium idea better.
Hard stuff
– Having everything on my test server be inaccessible to me 75% of the time right now. Other people can see it, but I can’t work on it. Thankfully all client sites are fine but I am seriously aggravated by not being able to work on things that need working on.
– Having to just abdicate and set all the sort-of-broken tech stuff aside for El Pisces to fix this weekend.
– I feel like I’m drowning in clutter right now. I don’t know what happened to our spiffy apartment… it’s in here somewhere…
– Oh right, after we both got horribly sick housekeeping was no more. I’m still not quite un-sicked yet.
Good stuff
+ Having a husband that can fix all my tech problems. Live-in server management is awesome.
+ I had some amazing Etsy sales this week, and I think it’s going to become part of my business for reals.
+ I decided to try an elimination diet, and I like not eating sugar and wheat so much I might stick with it longer. I think I’ll bring the cheese back in a couple weeks, though. not ready to give that up for good.
+ Found a book about Shabbat that doesn’t make me gag.
+ Might do a month of karma yoga on Vancouver Island this year!
Happy Friday!
Now I can’t stop imagining a chicken on Valium.
No hard right now as it’s a SNOW DAY!Bonus day off today and tomorrow too.
The good:
The above SNOW DAY!
Many epiphanies courtesy of Shivanata even when I only think about the patterns in the car on the way to work. Shivanata combined with focusing and yoga – zowie. Seeing patterns everywhere and having wherewithall to observe and make some new choices. This is mostly fun.
Perhaps this weekend will be The One, Havi.
Happy first friday chicken, everybody! š
The Hard:
Not too much, since I’m determined to be positive and video-game oriented this year. Had one bad misunderstanding with husband, and son had an episode at preschool that had me feeling like a bad Bolivian, indeed. And discovered must write 50 more pages for proposal that I thought agents would be shopping by now.
The Good:
Launched sweet new thing! Yay!
Husband and I talked, using a little of the NVC that Havi recommended. Much, much better.
The video game approach seems to be working. When I was crying after bad misunderstanding, I was able to shift to observing “okay, why am I doing this?” and not falling back into passive-aggressive woe-is-me martyrdom, as would’ve been my wont. Curiosity for the win!!
Have a great week!
I think Spatchcocking and Spirograph should be the opening bands for Pig-Faced Tyrant!
And yay for getting the tech trouble all squashed and out the door!!
This past week for me has been such a roller coaster!
The HARD:
– PMS-of-Doom (aka, permanent road rage against all things and all people) for a few days.
– The stomach bug that made me sick and exhausted and miss a bunch of work (but also took away road rage, so for that I thank it – maybe that was my “valium”).
– Dealing with the “not-wanting-to-deal-with” about weight gain & health.
The GOOD:
– My new loan from prosper was EASY and FAST.
– My new financial plan feels awesome and soon and exciting.
– My birthday is upcoming, so I bought myself the Shivanata starter kit. YAY.
– My most awesome foot topiary dream. Which I illustrated for my blog last night.
Hard:
-Work. And my avoidance thereof. Dealing with code I wrote a long time ago and no longer feel proud of.
-Coming to grips with the fact that there was. not. time. to make anything more for the art show by the weekend. Needing to be OK with something that felt suspiciously like falling short of my expectations.
-Got all excited about making something, then ran smack into a “these two shapes WILL NOT play nicely together” design block. Bleh.
-Barely managed to stay in one place, sleep-schedule-wise, never mind working towards a better schedule. At least I didn’t slip…
Good:
-I did make a new necklace, though. It’s really pretty and will go to the art show as a forerunner of things to come. And I think it’s convinced me that my period of not being able to make new things is over.
-I took enough pictures of the process of making the necklace that I can get a really comprehensive blog post about what goes into my work out of it. Documenting that kind of stuff is important to me.
-Learned to cook a new and delicious thing!
-Got to hang out with a good friend and drink and knit last evening
-Going to see a burlesque/acrobatics/steampunk music show this evening š
What a week.
The hard.
– Fruitflies are having a convention in my house. This leaves me the choice of killing them (don’t like to kill things. I’m a Buddhist) or having fruitflies landing in my food, in my tea, on my face…CONSTANTLY. Can’t take it anymore. Sorry, fruitflies. I have to kill you so I don’t go insane. Nothing personal.
– three day migraine and still having to go to work because boss and HR insist they need weekly documentation from my neurologist, and he says that isn’t feasible (no shit), and even though I sent them his email saying it isn’t feasible, they already docked 25% of last month’s pay and said any future absences would also be unpaid without documentation, because you know, they can’t just take my word for it.
– HR guy also said they can’t continue to employ me if I keep missing so much work.
The good.
+ Talked to someone in another dept and found documentation doesn’t have to be a letter written by neuro. It can just be a work excuse slip signed by someone else in his office (why did no one tell me this a year ago?). I may or may not get the money back from last month if I get a work excuse slip for those dates.
+ Bunnies let me pick them up and hold them for a few minutes. Yay!
+ Writing hat pattern. I’m not sure what people did before spreadsheets and copy/paste.
Hello chickeneers, lovely to join in the first round of chickening of 2011. Thanks for keeping up the tradition, Havi!
The hard:
– Husband left for one-month stay abroad.
– Husband seems thoroughly unwell, possibly side-effects of anti-Malaria tablets and I am so darn far away and feel so helpless.
– A couple of insomnia nights and as a result looking at someone with a greyish face in the mirror in the morning and thinking “OMG, this can’t be me”.
– Procrastinating a freelance job until yesterday.
The good:
– Lovely moments of togetherness before husband left.
– Walking into the perfect softshell coat (on sale!) during a lunch break – and taking it home š
– Resisting the urge to go into work on a public holiday.
– A really productive day at work today, an awful lot of things crossed of my to-do list.
– A lovely letter in my mail box. Snail mail is wonderful.
– Half way through with a freelance job since last night.
– Being able to define the question I need to ask in order to work on or rather against a pattern.
– And: IT’S THE WEEKEND!
Have a great one, all of you!
My Friday Chicken just flew up into my lap and started clucking contentedly.
This week the Hard:
-Cousin’s family dog Gus is having serious kidney problems. Probably made worse because people didn’t always take him out when he needed to go. As I am an “adopted” family member, I do a lot of outdoor escorts while I’m there, but that’s only on the weekend.
-Certain paperwork/forms need to be filled out and turned in but since they are VERY IMPORTANT my Resistance, Procrastination, and Perfectionist monsters are all hanging around (fronting for Fear). I need to convince them delay is not helping. Today they are pointing at shiny things like Friday Chicken and spirographing, both sooo awesome. Why would I want to do paperwork instead? Of course, I *could* do paperwork first and then come back to the good stuff. Yes, but ….
-Counterproductive habits of postponing the boring in favor of the fun.
The Good:
+Gus is diagnosed and medication prescribed. People now know to pay better attention when he needs to go out.
+Shiva Nata. Plum Duff! And other tools for working on stucknesses.
+A nice evening out with friends.
+After too many busy weekends, I can get my car worked on tomorrow.
+Acupuncture this evening!
“See, no Valium needed this time,” says the Chicken. š
Thanks, as always, Havi! Happy weekend, Chickeneers!
(Trying to quietly tiptoe in with my first Friday Chicken)
The Hard:
– Getting back to a non-holiday routine (difficult when in transition and don’t have any routines yet).
– Dealing with electrical short circuits that refused to be found. (Finally all resolved and itās done.)
– Irregular family personalities.
– Still hovering between two locations.
– Pulling together story material for deadline and keeping everybody in the loop.
– Still working on completing 2010 review summary which has been holding up Outlook.
– Looking for a word for 2011.
– Getting ambiguous memos about assignments; and trying to read between lines.
– Deciding what to do with old blog.
The Good:
– Finding Vision Board process notes which illuminated so much about the past year. (Like WOW)
– Finally encountering the likely word of the year for 2011. (Execute; as in take action, perform, carry out, implement, undertake)
– Discovering all the hidden positive things that came out in 2010. (I had an awesome year.)
– Finding out DIY home improvement does not need to be an interpersonal war zone. (Not my experience in a previous relationship)
– Getting internet on my computer so I can work and communicate at will or as needed. (Freedom from feeling in the way)
– Finding a word for 2011 that can influence my āpendingā stuff and my ānewā stuff too.
– Local yoga class for creaky boomers (probably similar to āOld Turkish Lady Yogaā).
– Considering above memos as a hint to move on and work more on my pending stuff (which might be my āthingā but who knows yet).
Okay, I’m having a hard time getting to chickens even though I NEED them fiercely right now, so I’m skipping the reading of some of the comments.
The hard: a dear person in my life dying suddenly; I can’t be at the funeral for complicated reasons, but I’m pretty isolated in acknowledging and grieving his death
my beloved sliced an important tendon in her finger. She works with her hands. I leave for a training in Europe soon. OH THE MONSTERS and oh the just sad that she hurts and can’t do for herself all the stuff. She is independent-minded.
by comparison all the other hard seem less hard. But leaving for Europe is scary as well as good. The house needs lots done before I go. And Friends Being Sad, also hard, although Them Getting Help is good.
and stuff.
The good:
I had a YES that is turning out to be just right.
And I had not one but TWO awesome people do guest things for my biz–one guest post (up now) and one interview (up next week). YAY!
And two more people took me up on my little free coaching thing that comes with signing up for my weekly tips, and I love getting the chance to give to people a little.
And I AM going to Europe and when I come back I will be ready to take my biz to the next level with additional in-person offerings.
And people are supportive of the Europe thing! And money is coming in a little bit!
And yeah.
For the overwhelm, I call amnesty.
And for all who are slogging through the hard, best wishes.
Thatisall.
The hard:
– death in family. Expected, sad.
– internet black hole. And getting out of it.
The good:
– having good intention words for this year.
– a bunch of stuff dreamt & schemed to be let out into the world. Excited!
– having my illustrative stuff appreciated by those who I love.
– thoughtfully journalling through patterns in my head. A break-through while doing the laundry? Heck yeah!
– the word poopnoodle.
daily lurker and once in a while commenter here.
Yay, Friday!
The hard: so tired, back to school, early mornings, the teenagers, piles of stuff, piles of work
The good: snow is pretty! it’s Friday! much sleep will be had by me, the teenagers
The question: Can someone help me find Havi’s post on piles?
It’s amazing how many posts come up when you search for piles, and I’m sure the title is awesome, but I don’t recognize it. The piles may have been a sub point, or even beside the point, but the post talked about dealing with physical piles, probably piles of doom, with sub-piles and various sorts of resistance they provoke. Anyone remember this?
— thanks and kisses! (kisses may seem inappropriately familiar since you hardly know me…but I feel like I know so many of you and read almost every comment as well as every post)
Yay, commenting!
The phrase “pile of doom” came out when I was writing and led right to what I was looking for:
http://fluentself.com//blog/personal/the-gigantic-scary-pile-of-iguanas-and-doom/
Hm, maybe I should do this writing thing more often. I’ve never been good at the journaling thing, but it seems my mind does know more than I give it credit for sometimes.
@Riin: Kwanseum Bosal to the fruitflies (I’m a more-or-less ex-Buddhist but still have the same problem).
Ooh, the first Chicken of the year! All in all, it’s been a pretty good week. A bit odd at times, but good.
The Hard
The man person went back to the US today. Actually left San Jose yesterday.
I’m stuck in some sort of financial systems muck. I’ve got one CC that doesn’t work. Online. Emailed them, no response yet. My bank card is having issues with PayPal and iTunes too.
Also, I feel like I’m behind on everything… Sounds like some monster chats are in order.
The Good
I have handed the site redesign over to the designer. Wonderful productive conversation.
Remembered that writing *clears* my head. So nice.
Whole bunches of bloggy goodness: was listed in Amazing Women of 2011 on Birds on the Blog, got a guest poster, traffic and comments are both picking up & I’m pretty sure this means I’m reaching and resonating with more people
The Business Plan Scrapbook is finished (at least for the time being) It’s beautiful and sparkly and useful.
My first two trips to the US are being planned, and I’ve got two more in mind. I’ll be in Texas and on the West Coast, if you want to have tea and bacon and butterscotch schnapps.
I ordered my costume for being on a float in the Carnival Parade in Rio. *this may belong in both categories. eep.
The Hard:
Ouch!… And I have one less tooth. (Darn. Old roller blading accident. and Bah.)
Timing of “ouch” was bad – I was frantically trying to prepare for something that had to be canceled. Also: Bah!
Considering: My relationship to pain, taking care of myself, finding answers, waiting too long to ask for help. A partial understanding is based on old habits that have served me well. Time to reconsider and find trigger moments to take me out of “auto-pilot”.
The Good:
Recovery. Taking time to feel better (which seems deliciously extravagant given how long I managed before I realized the extent of the problem.)
Play time during recovery. (I think play time may be a requirement of recovery.)
Happy Weekend!
Spirograph! I LOVE Spirograph!! (Note to self: must get Spirograph. Now.)
Hard
– Sixth week of the upper respiratory ick. So tired of it all. Stupid allergies!
– Back at work after two weeks off. H-A-R-D!
– The people at work who won’t shut up and who bother me even when I have headphones on. Seriously, people. Take a hint.
– Catty women at work making judgements and pronouncements about our new team member because he got the stomach flu and only worked one day this week.
– Not sticking to my schedule. Hard on me, hard on the dog-friends.
– Not getting enough work done because I couldn’t focus.
– Sleeping five hours each night when I could really use eight or nine.
– My poor, bored dogs are destroying things.
– Infected toe? Can I get another diagnosis, please? Because that’s just weird. My poor dog…
Good
– A dear friend gave me coloring books, crayons, and colored pencils for Christmas! Amazed that she remembered such a detail about me and gave me a gift she knew I’d lve.
– A new movie theater opened a mile away from my house AND IT IS AWESOME.
– I wrote two blog posts this week! Two!! (that’s a new record for me) And one of them is full of non sequiturs.
– Even though it took longer than I wanted or expected, I completed a project at work and I’m really pleased with the end result.
– Stetching. It’s the wonder-drug.
– I take them for granted, but this week, I fell in love all over again with my Sleep Number bed and my sunrise alarm clock.
– Listening. It’s really hard for me, especially when my body’s doing the talking. But this week, I listened more than I usually do.
– New study, old material. Intriguingly different perspective. Interesting. And good.
Hard:
* Sisyphean learning curves
* time constraints
* cramps
Good:
* crossword puzzles with husband
* friends being adorable / kind / hilarious / wicked smart
* doggie at my feet
* hearing about last night’s US-France Hopman Cup match: Bethanie Mattek-Sands showed up with wine and Nico Mahut showed up in a dress. WIN.
Strength, comfort, and sparklepoints to all who want ’em.
What a week, what a week!
The Hard:
It was my first week of grad school and the time management thing is HARD. I have not been so in charge of my own time… well, maybe ever. Giant stretches of Day in which to do Work, but no rhythm or schedule yet. So, naturally, I am behind in my work already.
I got sick. Sore throat, sneezy, coughing, gross. And now my lips are chapped. Ew.
I think I have to be even better about being dairy free. Hate!
The Good:
First week of grad school rocks! I am so inspired by the readings and the program and the teachers and even by the other students. So, so happy that this all just kinda fell into my lap… oh, right, with all that hard work š
Since I am not working I had tons of time to let myself be sick. I slept as much as I needed to, watched sappy movies and ate lots of soup.
Middle of the day, middle of the week dog walks. Awesome.
I found a recipe for no-ice-cream-machine needed coconut milk ice cream that may alleviate most of my dairy withdrawal symptoms. Thank you dear blessed goddess of the coconut tree!
Happy new year!
The Hard: (which has all happened in the last 10 minutes.)
– Realizing just now that I totally missed the boat on the Kitchen Table that I had been on the waiting list for.
– Worrying that I’m not going to find the right type of support for me as I move forward with some exciting business plans.
– Feeling like I missed out on the party and all the fun and all the mega community loving that’s being had a the Kitchen Table.
– Feeling isolated in my Totally New Me-ness and worrying that I’m not going to find someone who sees what I see and can help me from where I am.
The Good: (happening now)
– Breathing deeply and trusting that I am always provided for and the exact support that is right for me and my path is already on its way to me.
– Trusting that I am not meant to be in the Kitchen Table. (Obviously because I’m NOT!) Something much better is in store for me – like sitting here and going through this experience of thinking. Very good for me!
– Realizing that I have the opportunity to get more clarity about the type of support that I require. And also noticing any tendency to rush into wanting support because I think I need it when in actuality in this moment I am doing just fine with my ideas on my own.
– Ah yes! Appreciating that I was very creative and inspired tonight and then I worked past that point of inspiration to where the excitement turned into racing thoughts. And then it stopped being fun. And that’s when I panicked and started looking for support and then feeling scared that I wasn’t finding it.
The Best:
– Recognizing this pattern in myself just now!
In the past I have felt totally self-sufficient as I start a creative project, but then work myself past the point of enjoyment…to the point where I no longer feel self-sufficient and think I need to rely on a bunch of others to get me through it.
But the reality is that I have everything I require within me to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I know how to reach out to others when I require help and there is no need to feel DESPERATE for help. What’s needed is that I return to taking care of myself and return to my sense of wellness so that I work with care and love and inspiration which will carry me through to the project completion.
So lovely. So grateful. Thank you for this first Chicken of 2011 which has helped me Chicken with myself in a very beautiful way.
I wish you and your Kitchen Tablers all the most wonderful friendships, healing and understand, and inspired ideas and joyful actions you guys can stand!
Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
Dear everyone, I have been wanting to give this a try for a while. Did you realize that when you pick one word or one sentence from every chicken in the order of the posts, it turns out to be a wonderful dadaistic poem? Like this:
Something good will come out of the chaos.
I had to chime in.
Life.Saver:
Sketchbook and pencil.
Monsters galore,
Grownups acting like children.
Keep moving, breathing,
Quality alone time.
Yay peas, yeah garlic!
Awareness of patterns,
super secret plan:
I have got a plan!
Peep.
Super bonus headstand.
Friends!
Memory is a funny thing.
Sick without freaking out.
Inspired to play a bigger game
in the process of arranging new tattoos.
De-should-ifying.
Live-in server management ist awesome.
SNOW DAY,
Curiosity for the win,
PMS-of-Doom,
documenting that kind of stuff is important to me.
Fruitflies are having a convention in my house:
Togetherness.
Why would I want to do paperwork instead?
Discovering all the hidden positive things,
Thatisall.
Thoughtfully journalling through patterns in my head.
Daily lurker
led right to what I was looking for:
Kwan Seum Bosal.
Sounds like some monster chats are in order.
Take me out of auto-pilot.
I fell in love again with my sunrise alarm clock.
Thank you dear blessed goddess of the coconut tree!
@Leocadia: Genius!
@leocadia:
I second Lori-Genius!
Neither of my attempts to chicken appear to have roosted. Systems, wherefore this mystery? There be plenty bedevilling my life already…
Saturday hard:
* steep learning curve
* inverse ratio of time to cope with said learning curve
* mild funks about both physical and spiritual flab
* new cell phone is flimsy piece of junk. And most of my contacts didn’t transfer
Saturday good:
* new cell phone was free, and it’ll do
* talking calligraphy/printing shop with a friend who stopped by
* Israeli-style breakfast. Need to keep remembering how much better I feel when I make my morning salad
* got enough sleep. Good for the indexing mojo!
Wishing everyone help and strength with their hards, and loves with whom to share the goods.
@leocadia awesome!
Yay Spirograph! I hope to spend lots more time spirographing with my arms and legs Shiva-Nata style this week than wasting-large-amounts-of-time-on-the-internet style like I did yesterday! ha!
The Hard
Work
Errrgghhhh… my job… the stuck… the resistance… the procrastination… spending so much time away from my family and my life and my thing (thing!). See also: #wastinglargeamountsoftimeontheinternet (bad) and #obsessivelybrowsingthearchives (ummm… good?!?)
My thing (thing!)
Not even knowing what thing is, but knowing it isn’t to be found at work. Arrgghgh – what to do with my life? question again. AGAIN…. (It has been ten years since I was there but it’s still hard!)
New habits
They are hard to build, especially with Perfectionist Monster
criticisingtrying to help as best she knows how in herscreechyloving way.Clearing mud off the windscreen of my perception.</b.
Seeing as keeping my perception of reality as close to actual reality as possible has always been, like, #1 priority (supposedly), facing up to how MUCH mud had built up in pretty unpleasant and stupid-feeling-making. Errgghhh… #ihatelearningexperiences
The Good
Hope
Getting to grips with the hard and the Monsters and the Stuff and knowing that beyond fear is freedom ;-P
Also knowing that I’ve got loads of resources and a Very Helpful Place to help me get there. Yay for the Good Ship FluentSelf
#ilovelearningexperiences (kind of)
Toilet training
Master Four of the non-Neurotypical spectrum making some great, fast progress on this inconvenient-for-me sphere of his development. YAY!!
Metaphor Mouse
MM took the word ‘authentic’ and gave me a big sister called Frank instead. I’m going to be more Frank. Yay!
Then he took my Rude-Teen (routine) (lazy, unproductive, has to be prodded to help, repeatedly, slightly self-destructive, highly critical, longing to change, terrified of change) (I crack myself up) and said I should build myself a Glorious Greenhouse instead. Awesome! A highly motivating metaphor.
xxxx
Claire x
Yay Spirograph! I hope to spend lots more time spirographing with my arms and legs Shiva-Nata style this week than wasting-large-amounts-of-time-on-the-internet style like I did yesterday! ha!
The Hard
Work
Errrgghhhhā¦ my jobā¦ the stuckā¦ the resistanceā¦ the procrastinationā¦ spending so much time away from my family and my life and my thing (thing!). See also: #wastinglargeamountsoftimeontheinternet (bad) and #obsessivelybrowsingthearchives (ummmā¦ good?!?)
My thing (thing!)
Not even knowing what thing is, but knowing it isnāt to be found at work. Arrgghgh ā what to do with my life? question again. AGAINā¦. (It has been ten years since I was there but itās still hard!)
New habits
They are hard to build, especially with Perfectionist Monster
criticisingtrying to help as best she knows how in herscreechyloving way.Clearing mud off the windscreen of my perception.
Seeing as keeping my perception of reality as close to actual reality as possible has always been, like, #1 priority (supposedly), facing up to how MUCH mud had built up in pretty unpleasant and stupid-feeling-making. Errgghhhā¦ #ihatelearningexperiences
The Good
Hope
Getting to grips with the hard and the Monsters and the Stuff and knowing that beyond fear is freedom ;-P
Also knowing that Iāve got loads of resources and a Very Helpful Place to help me get there. Yay for the Good Ship FluentSelf
#ilovelearningexperiences
Toilet training
Master Four of the non-Neurotypical spectrum making some great, fast progress on this inconvenient-for-me sphere of his development. YAY!!
Metaphor Mouse
MM took the word āauthenticā and gave me a big sister called Frank instead. Iām going to be more Frank. Yay!
Then he took my Rude-Teen (routine) (lazy, unproductive, has to be prodded to help, repeatedly, slightly self-destructive, highly critical, longing to change, terrified of change) (yes, I crack myself up) and said I should build myself a Glorious Greenhouse instead. Awesome! A highly motivating metaphor.
Chicken!
xxxx
Claire x
ill just stop now and leave html code alone… d’oh!
Thanks for the heads up on the spirograph awesomesauce, Havi + Claire.
I love spirographs!
I have an old skool one from Kenner. And I love to break it out when I need to brainstorm. Or when I’ve had a few drinks.
Love that I can do it online now too. Very cool!