Over the course of the past year and a half, I have been studying Rally (Rally!).
Studying it like I was doing a graduate degree in rallying, which I was. And also studying it because I needed to understand more about its kooky, marvel-filled magic.
It took me fifteen entire Rallies to do this. Trying to get a handle on the toughest questions about Rally:
What is it, exactly? What are the results and what are the effects? How does it change people and how does it change the world? How does it change my world?
And how do you talk about something that cannot be described in words?
I kept studying it.
I have gleaned considerable amounts of useful information from comments that people have left here on the blog. And I see how the way they interact with the material here changes after they have been on Rally.
(See Marisa’s sovereign and clear comment yesterday, so full of spaciousness and harmonious knowing– you can instantly tell that a Rally grad wrote it.)
People have sent sweet pictures and letters. And I have seen them do things after Rally. Fabulous, inspiring things!
But my main source of study has been my Kitchen Table program, which is now coming to a close after three intense years.
I’ve steadily been collecting evidence of the surprising and unexpected effects of Rally (Rally!) through observing how people change when they come back to our closed community after this experience.
Here’s some of what I’ve noticed…
Presence.
The people who have been on Rally are about a thousand billion times more present.
I don’t mean that they’re around more. I mean that they are so much more aware of their process and their experience. They’re more grounded and more sovereign.
Destuckification as the default.
They destuckify faster. Way faster.
They enter and exit situations and experiences more consciously.
When they’re in their stuff, they recognize that and do something to interact with it.
When someone else is having a moment and being in their stuff, the Rally grads are nearly always the ones who are able to show up with compassionate, wise, loving, permission-filled responses.
Beautiful boundaries.
The people who have been through Rally have stronger, healthier boundaries.
They apologize less. They blame less, placate less, falter less. They play more.
They are clear and intentional about what they need in any given interaction, and they ask for it, without attachment to whether or not they get it.
They remember how to play.
Rallions post-Rally are so much more likely to come up with creative, elegant, playful solutions to anything that’s not working.
They are more trusting about time. More aware of how time can be magic.
More likely to intentionally take a rabbit hole or take a time out (paws!). Or negotiate with a monster.
They’re less likely to go into intense avoidance mode, and more likely to remember to be curious about what is hiding inside of avoidance.
Congruence and harmoniousness.
When Rallygators get the thing they want, it feels satisfying and joyful for them, because they infused the whole process with intention.
They fractal flowered things. Sometimes with proxies.
They used their superpowers.
Speaking of superpowers…
They know so much more about superpowers. About their superpowers.
They trust their power more. They trust their instincts more.
They have MORE FUN.
That’s because they know how to make work be not-work. How to make it light-hearted.
And how to use costumes to channel different aspects of identity. You know who does this really well? Jenny.
But also it’s because they’re not impressed by their stuff.
The art of seeing pain but not being inside of it.
Once you have been on Rally (Rally!), you know so much more about your stuff. Your pain-fear-grief-anxiety-worry patterns.
And you recognize it for what it is — your stuff!
And when you forget, you go back to your force field and regroup. You make a blanket fort. You use the elevator shaft.
Hum more. Guilt less.
That’s how I would sum up the effects of Rally, actually.
The people who have been on Rally hum more. They guilt less.
They know about hidden solutions, and the patterns behind the patterns.
They use the tools. They can turn anything into a tool.
Rally is what changed the Kitchen Table.
Having Kitchen Table people come to Rally has completely changed our KT experience for the better.
Before we had Rally, there were times (not all the time, just occasionally) when it would seem to me that everyone was grinding wheels, while I was constantly modeling and reminding how to step out of the wheel-grinding.
But once a few KT-ers had rallied, I had allies. We were doing it together, and changing the culture, and then other people could figure out how to do it too.
We were a community of people who know how to do all the things that I was describing above. And it has spread.
So even people who haven’t rallied (I know, it’s hard to get here from Australia! Some day, my loves!) pick up the Rally-ness. They absorb the magic.
And we have seeded a deeper process of doing this work.
One more really important thing.
This. Since July 11, 2010 (or a week or so before that), I have invested insane amounts of time and money into Rally.
I have been willing, even happy, to run Rally at a loss — it takes three full weeks of each month to set up, [verb], recover, consolidate and review in order for a Rally to happen. That’s not calculating in what it takes to spread the word. Or to fill the Playground with toys.
And I have done this fifteen times. Totally 100% worth it. I do not have any resentment about the investment.
I got to be the venture capitalist, the inventor, the R&D team, the therapist, the explorer, the ship’s captain, and all of it. It has been amazing.
And I have learned that no matter what we charged for Rally, it would never cover what you actually get.
Never.
Because what’s the price of the equivalent of five years of therapy happening in a week? What’s the price of becoming someone who can generate creative solutions to stuck? Or the price of finally learning to trust your instincts? Or the price of being able to become secret friends with any project?
For the past six months I’ve been talking about how in 2012 Rally prices are going up so that they can be more congruent with what Rally is.
And I was doing the work so that I could be ready for Rally to cover its own expenses. I have graduated from my trainings. I have also learned (through Rally!) what it’s like when things are not reflecting congruence. Congruence is a door.
Here’s the announcing part.
On Sunday, January 1st (probably towards evening? Because everyone’s sleeping in?), we’ll bring Rally prices into congruence. To where they need to be now for Rally to carry itself without me paying for it.
There are nine Rallies in 2012. Two have already sold out. Two more are close to full. There will be only four Rallies in 2013.
If you want to come to Rally, and to do it at the old and much-lower prices, make this happen before Sunday. The page for signing up for Rally (Rally!) is here.
If you need a stowawayship scholarship, you can apply for one here.
And of course let it be clear that I love you completely and without reservation, whether or not you ever come to a Rally.
xox
Havi
Usual comment zen applies.
We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process. We make this space safe by taking loving responsibility for our stuff and not putting it on other people. We play.
If you would like to say YAY RALLY, I would love that.
If you would like to sit with me in the giant communal blanket fort and drink tea or bourbon or whatever, that is welcome too.
Follow
YAY RALLY!
Thanks for letting us readers follow your journey from thinking up the idea of Rally to seeing how it has impacted Your People.
I’ll see you in Rally:July.
Right now, there are two of me who would like to sit with you in the giant communal blanket fort.
There is the Me who is Going to Rally (Rally!) with you someday (maybe even someday soon!) And then there is the Me who never will.
We both love you so much. And we are both better, happier people for having discovered your world. We have both come a long way, and we both have many glorious adventures ahead.
We are both grateful to be able to join you here in your cozy blanket fort of a blog. We both raise our pottery mugs in tribute to you.
And we both say: YAY RALLY.
And we both mean it absolutely. From the bottom of our curious hearts, we mean it. YAY RALLY!
Yay Rally!
I am so delighted to hear what once was just a ‘sweet tiny thing’ is growing up to be so sturdy and beautiful.
I love being able to celebrate that joy. And all my muses are doing a little ‘yay rally’ cancan with me.
I also have to laugh at how reading this post triggered one of my ‘meanies’.
[That’s what my monster collective is called]
The money one immediately snarked at me, ‘Ha! You’ll never afford it now.” I didn’t laugh out loud, not wanting to hurt her feelings. Fears are hard and she means well.
I foresee tea with that meany later today, there will be charts to remind us all about our real relationship with our money and perhaps scones with cream.
And who knows, perhaps next year in Portland?
Yay rally! Even though I have no realistic prospect of gettig to one, I’m very inspired by this. And YAY for you for putting in so much time and effort and making SO much goodness in the world.
YAY RALLY and WHEE so excited to be attending soon! I am also sooo tempted to do some juggling to get another Rally(RALLY! YAY!) on the 31st….
YAY Rally!!
is the hymne of the day
I am just going to share that I am happy for the concept, the idea, the ide-a (in the greek version meaning something like ‘the shape of the thing’ – ah ah ah! like a container! (*secret excitement between extra brackets! *)).
Flying across the world to Portland and attending a Rally does not seem within reach in any way. And while it’s a little bit sad, I am mostly just happy for knowing RALLY!!
And saying Rally!
And getting to think along and comment along and work with the idea in my own practice and work.
The phrase ‘perfect simple solution’ in itself makes me sigh with relief now.
The idea of writing and talking to my project helps me enter into a state that enables me to work – for as much as possible work in a non-hostile, non-threatening (to me) way without unleashing the monster collective to use their full force.
Also I once had the most realistic almost-awake dream (just before waking up) of being on Rally instead of having gone to a conference. And the thought of that still makes my heart jump up with joy.
I feel like I pretty much was there!!
at one point or another.
and I get to be here and join along a little bit.
I feel part of a community – a community of people thinking out loud about being nicer to yourself and making magic happen and look at the world through pink glasses wearing a multi-feathered boa.
All of this is true true true.
And I love that unexpected things can be true here!
All my best wishes and congratulations for the 17 month anniversary.
Also – thank you thank you thank you.
Someday I’m going to come to Rally! with you. And someday, I’ll be able to pay the whole just amount, and you will be nourished, and I will be nourished, and the energy will glow (that was going to be flow, but it was one of those fortuitous typos that I have learned to leave by watching your example.)
Blessings on your new prices!
I finally have a slightly better understanding of what Rally(Rally!) is, and could see how it might be the right thing for me one day. Thank you!
…I have to confess that when I went to the Rally(RALLY!) page and I saw how much it cost, it was less than I expected…so yes, I think it is time to raise the prices. But I understand that for many people those prices are still beyond their reach. I know some day those who need to get there will be able to get there, and there are plenty of tools here to work with in the in-between to bring that day closer.
Yay Rally!
and to paraphrase:
Next year, in Portland.
Making blanket forts for the Me who wants to Rally! and the Monsters who are saying “Rally? NEVER! (actually they say JAMAS!) You’ll have to be…PRESENT…and ACCOUNTABLE! Oh the DOOOOOOM that will follow! No Rally for you, Missy!”
Yay Rally! Something that makes the Monsters that nervous must be worth it.
YAY RALLY!
YAY RALLY for everyone’s Gwishes to RALLY!
YAY RALLY that I incorporate into my every day!
YAY for the Monster Manual Coloring Book!
YAY for flailing! YAY for stone skipping!
YAY Havi! and thank you!
insert )happyDance(
“Next year in Portland”. Reminds me of “Next year in Jerusalem”, which is a prayer and a wish and a dream and a goal.
Both have bigger meanings than simply a travel destination.
Portland means Rally (Rally!), it means growth, it means connection, it means exploration, it means play, it means fabulousness.
Learning about my superpowers: since my first Rally, I realize that all the things that seem easy and obvious to me are because my superpowers. Some of my quirks and oddities are superpowers. Having superpowers makes it okay for some things to be hard for me — I don’t have to have ALL the superpowers. Spiderman can’t fly. Superman doesn’t sling webs.
I’ve been working on costumes to express/channel the qualities I want. Some of them are imaginary, some are on paper, and some are real though secret (like the bright orange sovereignty socks that no one can see when I wear boots), and some don’t look like costumes though they totally are.
Thank you for linking to the Cranky Shivanaut. I love the costumes and the way she writes about her process.
YAY Rally! I don’t know what it is and I’ll probably never go to one! But,, you’ve been kind enough to share your journey, insights and decisions about Rally here on your blog. That means that while I’m not one of your Rally people–I don’t have a business or do art–I am one of your blog people. I get a lot out of what you share here and I use it in my personal life and my work/office life.
So yes, maybe I’m a bit sad that I’m not on that path, but I do get to be super-happy for you and all of your rallyites and future rallyites. YAY Rally! Congratulations.
YAY Rally!!!!
I didn’t think it was possible to be more happy and excited about getting to go to Rally, but now I am.
May everyone who secretly yearns after Rally find their way someday. And may you, Havi dear, get what you need from Rally, financial and otherwise.
Hugs and party favors all around!
Rally!
I learned the most unexpected things from Rally.
Maybe this sounds overly maudlin, but having been to Rally feels like having been to a pilgrimage. It was such an intensely… almost SCHPIRITUAL experience. Like.. oh, things can be like THIS. It has never been like THIS before. Whoa. what does that meaaaan??!?!!!? WHAT!!!
Of course, I always hate it once I begin to talk about it because I sound stoopid and words are so limited and limiting and there is no way you can describe what happens there. Also because it is different for everyone.
@Risa! You are Rallying! That is so amazing.
*throws confetti into the air!*
I have never been to rally. Yet. It is coming.
But I have been to other things, deeply transformative, change-the-way-you-are-with-your-stuff retreat-type thingees, and here’s what I know about these experiences.
They are always greater than the sum of the parts.
There is nothing you can really explain about them. They are about the experience themselves. And if you go and be present and don’t try to control too much and consciously encounter your patterns and make choices (even if you choose to go into your patterns) then magic happens.
Magic of the kind you can’t predict.
Magic of the kind you can’t put a price on.
It’s magic that fills you up and spills over and changes you from your bones outward, but not like surgery. More like trees growing from your marrow outward.
You just have to trust it, even if it’s a little prickly or feels funny under your skin.
So I’m going. Plane fare and everything, I’m going.
Yes, I will be a Rally-er. Someday. I’m scheming on how to do something fabulous to raise the funds and take the train! Ah, how romantic and proxy-sounding!
Thanks for all your investment in this wonderful culture. It makes me wonder how I can be a venture capitalist, R&D team, etc. in spite of my decidedly non-moneybags status and lack of official certification. *imagination overdrive*
Yay Rally!