It is Friday and we are here.
{a breath for being here when we get here.}
Thank you, week.
This is the 368th week in a row that we are chickening here together.
What worked this week?
Following Elgin’s rule.
I really wanted to go to a lecture on a subject that fascinates me.
Except I also didn’t, because sitting for two hours is unappealing (understatement!), and I never enjoy the awkward energy dynamic of being talked at in an auditorium — a friend of mine used to call this the Blanketing Effect, and that’s pretty much how it feels for me. And really, I wanted to be doing the thing the lecture was about instead of contemplating it.
But also I was having such intense joy sparks about the topic, and feeling a pull to go and be around people who also feel this, and hoping this excitement combined with Useful Intel from the lecture would launch me into the doing.
I was heading towards a compromise of going for half, or staying until I received a useful insight, and then taking that spark home to figure out my next step.
Then I remembered what Suzette Elgin says about lectures, that they should never go over twenty minutes. And my body felt this deep sigh of YES.
It was a beautiful moment of relief and full-body releasing (which is funny, because the latter was also basically the topic of the lecture) at having that simple truth acknowledged: my body doesn’t want to sit for more than twenty minutes.
So, Elgin’s rule of thumb ended up being a good parallel to my PROTOCOL of “when in doubt, apply urgent self-care”, and I didn’t have the protocol in mind because I wasn’t reading this situation as a moment of doubt. But then my body felt so relieved and happy when I said no to sitting.
Next time I might…
Do the most grounding thing I can think of.
Yesterday morning my lover texted me and asked how I’m doing, and I said I didn’t know.
He asked if that meant I’m in my head and not grounded, if I’m going to do any body stuff to help. Because he knows this very basic thing about me that I know too, but I forget.
Getting on the floor, breathing, stretching, naming things as a way to counter loss, touching in: I am here.
And the title of my upcoming Biopic if it were based on this week…
Everything Changes. The Havi Brooks Story.
Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- There is a sign in my kitchen. It says All Things Change. Sometimes I find this enormously reassuring, and sometimes I find it downright terrifying. This was a week of really living the truth of this sentence, in all the beauty of it but also the pain of it, and oh it hurt in my heart. A breath for All Things Change.
- I received a piece of news on Monday that I couldn’t possibly have anticipated, and this means Operation Bolthole (the main focus of my life for the past several months) can’t actually happen after all. I need to regroup and reconfigure while the foundation crumbles, find my new foundation. And I need an alternative escape plan, and soon. A breath for the thoroughly unexpected, and for trust. May the treasure in this reveal itself soon.
- On the same day, I received more news, foundational news, in a similar vein, except from my lover. Two pieces of news, actually. As if it wasn’t bad enough that the foundation was crumbling, then to have the rug pulled out from under me, twice in a row, immediately after. It wasn’t intentional. My lover is kind, thoughtful, endlessly sweet and loving. And that didn’t change the fact that I was blindsided, shellshocked, completely taken apart. Not even so much by the news itself or the possible changes, but by the fact that I wasn’t included in them. A breath for things that fall apart, and the unexpected ways they fall apart, and for sobbing in my lover’s arms. May I find my way back to my yes.
- I went to a new hip hop class because I had to give my brain and body something to do other than react to all these changes. It was a million degrees (approximately), and the studio was hot and tiny and cramped, the electric fans so loud that I couldn’t hear the instructions. Eventually I just sat down. Waiting for the bus home, I felt disjointed and disoriented, as if I could pass out at any moment. It felt so familiar, this awful sensation of uprooted, ungrounded, exhausted and unprotected, and I remembered that once upon a time this used to be my baseline. A breath for me, and for these moments.
- All my projects and secret ops stalled this week, what with the various crumblings. I didn’t dance and I didn’t write. I’m not even entirely sure what happened this week. I think it involved a lot of staring into space, completely bewildered. And yet I’m pretty sure that this was the best thing for me, the best way to take care of myself, and not get overloaded. A breath for deep trust in All Timing Is Right Timing, here in the month of Trust, in the year of Easing & Releasing.
- [Silent Retreat] A breath for compassionate witnessing of all the things that have not found their way into words yet.
- Okay, and maybe another breath for that.
- Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week. May I choose to trust-more love-more release-more receive-more.
Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- My lover returned after being deep in the mountains with no cell service for a week. Sweetness sweetness sweetness sweetness. And joy. I fell asleep in his arms and woke up in his arms, and we were in this breathtakingly beautiful state of intense, vulnerable, fully embodied animal-spiritual aliveness and connection, and I cried because I was overcome with the depth of this. What a healing thing it is to cry with someone who can handle it. That isn’t the right word. Handle implies reacting in some way or making an adjustment. He doesn’t handle. He just is. He didn’t say ohmygod-what’s-wrong-are-you-okay. He didn’t even send that as energy. He just held me the tiniest bit tighter, and exuded that calm, gentle, steady presence, accepting me in my small storm of emotion, not needing anything from me. I was able to just release because I didn’t need to do anything, reassure or explain. It was so special, to sink in this moment, as if we were each giving each other a gift by the act of not giving anything. I cried until I was done, and then he kissed my cheek and smiled, and it was so easy to have just fallen apart, and so easy to be fine. I want my whole life to hold the qualities of THIS. A breath for remembering this always.
- Two days later, when I was floored by his first piece of news and completely in shock, not able to remember that Now Is Not Then, he came over to comfort me. We cried and slept and cried some more, and it was hard, and yet, it is such treasure, it really is, to have someone with whom I can be that terrifyingly vulnerable and open. And it is treasure for me to experience/remember that I also know how to be the steady rock, the glowing jewel of sanctuary, when someone I love is going through their own storms. I was able to Not Make Shit About Me, and to be present and loving with someone who needed me. A breath for all forms of love and sweetness and steadiness in hard times.
- The next night, when I lost my ground again, he came and made me tea and tucked me into bed and kissed me better. A breath for this.
- Oh, I have so many allies and resources I have for getting my ground/foundation back or figuring out a new one. My wise hypnotist. Wally, who does feldenkrais magic with my body and is helping me train to be a panther. The self-fluency tools I have, and the techniques I’ve developed and practiced over the past ten years. My wonderful housemate. My friends. This community, and knowing that you are here, reading, and no matter what my week is like, I can come here and share it with you. A breath of thank you.
- I was met by so much kindness this week. And I was able to access a deep well of [self-mothering nurturing] that I didn’t know existed for me. And, semi-related to this: I discovered that something I always thought I would hate is actually something I’d be really good at. That doesn’t mean it’s my yes, but it is interesting to have gravitated to a new position. A breath for newness.
- Taking lovely care of my body, and listening to it, honoring its needs and desires, even when that meant a lot of just being on the floor and crying. A breath for how wildly subversive it can be just to care for ourselves.
- You know what. I am handling this SO MUCH better than I have all the other big upheavals in my life, thank you past few years of One Barn Burning After Another. I am so much better at weathering storms now, at trusting my instincts, at knowing that there is treasure in everything, and at letting things go. And I didn’t shut down and go into turtle mode, so: points for that. A breath for the completely transformative practice of acknowledgment, legitimacy and radical sweetness, with all the remarkable surprises it is bringing. A breath of gratitude.
- Thankfulness. So much is good. My housemate makes the best nachos. I did TRE three times and it is helping. Everything is okay. Nothing is wrong, even when I think it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thankful for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
Wham booms, wisdom, superpowers, salve and FBOTW!
Operations completed. Wham boom!
Operation Proxy-Proxied was a success! Operation Banana-Shoe Chicken-Chicken was a success! Operation Trust Release Ease is going really well. Operations Alternative Shed and Calm Island are replacing the Bolthole op. Decisions were received. The anchor is weighed and the sails they are set. Calling this good, I now award myself a hundred billion sparklepoints. Wham Boom.
Superpowers I had this week…
I had the superpower of remembering the glowing jewel in my heart, and knowing that Sanctuary is in me and not outside of me. May I have this superpower always.
I also had the power of Crossing The Street.
Powers I want.
Same as last week, please: the superpowers of Beautifully Anchored, Deeply Trusting, and, of course, I am a Powerful Slinky Very Relaxed Panther
The Salve of Sanctuary Within.
Many years ago, Orna, my teacher in Tel Aviv, said something about how I will never feel at home anywhere until I feel at home in myself. She didn’t actually say it to me, or about me, but her words reverberated in me and it felt as if she were looking right at me, directly into my lost and battered heart.
The idea of feeling at home in myself was so completely foreign to me that I couldn’t even imagine what that could be like.
This salve resolves that, swiftly and gently, and it brings so much calm and sweet stillness. It has all the haven superpowers of comforting shelters, blanket forts, nooks, safe passage.
Come in, put down your rucksack, curl up in a corner with your favorite blanket. You’ve arrived. And it’s only going to get better.
This is a salve of Grounding, Ease, Sovereignty, Security, Glowing and Serenity.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band is from a useful typo in my wishes and it’s called Articles of Light. Their latest album is Your Favorite Climb. And it’s actually just one guy.
And the photo was taken in Lubbock, TX by Jesse! Thank you!
How was your week?
Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!
p.s. If you want to express appreciation and/or go deeper into Self-Fluency…
Come practice Agency and be a secret agent (ha, agency pun!) of self-fluency, and support this blog and Shmita.
The marvelous Monster Manual gives you the sneaky ways I use to get my self-criticism to take a nap or join the circus or become my ally, so I can stay calm and take care of myself. - If you’d just like to express appreciation for concepts and qualities that live here, you can always contribute to Barrington’s Discretionary. (Explanation!)
- And of course, love and support in the form of smiles, hearts, warmth, sharing posts, practicing what we do here: any and all of that is always appreciated!
A deep breath of love from my thank-you heart for everyone who reads. ❦
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I wish I had a protocol for when I’m feeling lost (and therefore ungrounded without realizing it.) My husband has one, which is to massage me starting with my feet and ending with my head until I’m breathing again and then ask me what’s wrong. But in his absence I basically have “watch Netflix.” And I do that for good reasons and it has many many times stopped things from getting worse, but it doesn’t usually make them better.
The Hard:
– So many tears about my cousin’s daughter. And no real place to talk about it or anyone with whom to do that.
– I had so many papers and projects due this week, and three days at the start when people kept surprising me with even more to do (oh by the way, we just need you to do X, Y, and Z… In the next few days. No big deal. Thanks!) All reasonable requests on their own, but taken together it was seeming impossible.
– I also had to get my blood drawn. And get another medical test. And drop off another medical test. And all of these involved driving all over Portland (and Lake Oswego – not my favorite) and waiting for hours. Plus the lady drawing my blood missed the vein and had to (in her words) “poke around a few times to find it,” even though I *told* her it rolls. So that hurt. A lot. Still does, actually.
– One of my papers had to be written in a style I don’t believe in or like and which no ones made me use since high school. And I mostly didn’t write it in that style, so we’ll see how that turns out for me. But it feels like butchering a living thing and I just couldn’t.
– One of my projects made absolutely no sense to me, like hasn’t coalesced in my brain ever. I’ve rarely felt so out of my depth. It’s probably that I find it so uninteresting, and finding something uninteresting is so rare for me, that I can’t imagine who would ever assign it and so I can’t figure out what she wants? I don’t know. But it was hard in the way that pushing at a blank wall in your mind is hard.
– House is a mess, still has mice in the kitchen. And somehow this isn’t leading to the kitchen being cleaned.
– I have to leave at 4am tomorrow and all the taxi companies have terrible reviews and we have no one to drive us to the airport and the buses don’t run that early. And parking our car for a week is $70.
– I had to drive through SE, right past where [ ] used to live, which still leads to sobbing.
– My husband found someone online who sounds exactly like me… Except she’s finished the thing I don’t even get to start until two years from now. And she’s years younger than me. And I keep trying to figure out a way to do it next year but I really can’t find any. So that ruined the whole “hilarious! We’ve found your twin!” Also it was kind of more uncanny than hilarious. There are a lot of unusual things about me, and I don’t know what to thing about someone who on paper has almost all of them.
The Good:
– I’m done with this awful summer of too many classes in too little time at hours that don’t work for me! Done done done! A day early!
– I’m also done with all my medical tests! No more blood draws for at least two weeks! And maybe not even then!
– One day this week, despite writing two long research papers from scratch in only one day, I rested so much, and this led to all the awesome sex, and it was amazing and a good reminder that getting shit done does not need to happen the way I’ve always done it, with unending stress and the refusal to think about anything else. It can also happen with breaks for naps and sex and other delicious brain rests.
– Scarlet is the best. Age two is the best. I have too many examples this week to even mention, but she’s great. Every day I feel so grateful. She’s so worth the hell of pregnancy and that first year and a half.
– My lovely love drove me to so many appointments this week, and calmed me down so many times and gave me so many massages and cooked every meal I ate (which he does anyway), and listened while I screamed obscenities about the amount of work I had to do. It was amazing to have so much support.
Thank you for this beautiful post, and thank you to all the Chickeneers who show up every week and share their beautiful presence.
Hard stuff this week:
–feeling shy about communications that I also feel obliged to initiate.
–my daughter had a setback, and I want to help, and I feel powerless to do so.
–adjusting to new rhythms, wanting to make space for all the things that matter so much to me.
–the vehicle I was driving had an old problem resurface, which made me feel unsafe and panicky.
–made the regrettable choice to go through a backlog of mail at midnight, found things that upset me, and then had trouble sleeping.
Good stuff:
–new professional adventures are off to a good start.
–there is so much love in my life!
–thank you journal, thank you writing, you bring me so many gifts
–thank you singing, you nourish me.
Short Chicken.
The Good –
The reward for 25 years of playing for the same people! Shhh, they think I was working.
The Hard – Heat.
{IIWII} – This morning, I had my sparklepoint celebration for getting the Wolf Mainly Fed. I realized that Boof has an air cannon that shoots the sparklepoints, colored streamers and rubber chickens into the air. And the sound it makes is – boof! Once again, I use my Power of Extreme Imagination.
Getting a cheap air conditioner but not having it installed yet.
What worked – Preparing the Wolf Food last night.
Soothing clucks to you!
I’m sending you so much love, dear Havi.
Your salve has touched me and is just what I need when I’m learning to find a home within me and feel fully at home wherever I am.
I feel like this week I have finally put into motion some shifts that I’ve been working on internally, and now they’re visible to the world.
On the surface it looks like nothing much, but my feeling is the one of being in a home that is perfectly tailored to my spirit.
I got some beautiful notes from people known and unknown who shared their own excitement and praise at my work.
The downside is I was so consumed by all this that I neglected many other things and didn’t spend any time in nature, relaxing or reading.
Luckily my vacation officially starts tomorrow and I will finally take a break from sitting and staring at the screen. Looking forward to this!
This week I had the superpower of Offering My Gifts With Grace and sent not one, but two emails that would have mortified me before. No idea what will come of it and no attachment to the result, the very fact I did it is enough to celebrate.
What else? Oh yes, a wish I planted a few weeks ago is coming close to realization! I’ll meet some new interesting people very soon!
BRB taking a couple crocks of that salve pls, it’s perfect.
Hello and Cluck!
It’s Friday and wow is it HOT!
what worked this week: working thru the list, stopping to rest, wear my Crown, invoke superpowers of Nothing is Wrong, I know what to do next, there’s treasure everywhere
Next time: let’s just remember that No is a perfectly fine answer AND it is a complete sentence.
the sucks:
-last week the husband was an absolute monster to me, so much so that it pretty much ruined my day, so much so I came home and handed him my wedding ring. “Either we can work ahrder to make this work, or we need separate addresses. Because we make each other miserable.” It shook him out of it briefly
-the realization that the ONLY reason he got mad, was because my yelling woke him up. Not that I was yelling, not that I was so stressed out that I was yelling, not that the kid needed more than I could give in that moment. He had a choice to get up and say Can I help? Instead he chose to kick me out of the bedroom and subject me to the silent treatment for 24 hours.
-the realization that, again, no matter what baby steps we make in a good direction, the husband is deteriorating, and his lack of patience with me when I fail to keep the messiness of parenting away from him, his failing memory, his depression which turns toxic, his fragility which means I have to be the grownup all the time–this is all a consequence of his ongoing disease, and it’s not going to get better
-America. Oh good heavens, you are a tough town to live in
-stuck and more stuck
-okay this REALLY pisses me off, mostly because my Crown slipped. Spent THREE HOURS soul-catching for my writing partner over the weekend. I don’t get 3 hours of writing in most WEEKS, but never mind. She gets tweaked if my kids or husband interrupt the phone call, but seriously she is chattering away about how little time she has or how little motivated she is to write while I’m doing ALL THE THINGS with one hand. Last night, I took her call even though I had not accomplished my writing for the day. An hour on the phone which concluded with her telling me “you’re never going to get anything done if you don’t fiercely eliminate what ‘s eating your time.” I sacrificed my writing time so she could tell me about her projects and scold me for guarding my time. “Are you sure you WANT to be a writer? Because it seems like all you do is talk about it…”
-Silent retreat
-green eyes
-I told the husband I had to go to the doc because (mildly alarming symptoms), I told him several times. He forgets completely and doesn’t ask how I am. The Occultist asked how I am, and I had that weird dissonance: what is love here? how does it present itself? can these both be love? can I accept and forgive what doesn’t look like love to me, but might be?
The sparkle:
-beautiful weather-
-my garden! the ZUCHINI!!!
-moving! dancing!
-gearing up Wizard school! I’m in one Wizard clas, and will be starting up Advanced Wizard Grad Symposium in Sept. I LOVE having a new study project for the Autumn, esp if ity starts in Sept.\
-I too have found new levels of zen-like calm and not getting ruffled. last Tuesday’s hell day could have been a sobbing melt down, and it wasn’t. Of course, it meant I had no spoons to weather the husband’s outburst
-excellent welltending despite the bullshit
– White Flowers! I am hitting it most days and more important, I WANT to stay White Flwoers. I wake up and think, nope I don’t want to muddy up this clarity. It has taken YEARS for this to land! SO grateful and proud!
-above accomplishment unlocked in great part because of the support of this forum
-congruencing, slowly but surly
-baby steps progress on so many Ops
-new Ops popping up, new intel, lots of new energy
-hey today is the new moon!
-I asked for women’s community and it’s happening
That is a fantastic salve. I will take some, with grateful thanks.
The hard:
– ill. Not really surprising, as there’s been a bug going around, and I’ve been busy the last two weekends so have missed out on recuperation time, but still.
– people thinking that making the clocks run an hour fast all the year round would make life better for everybody. NO IT WOULDN’T! Not for me!
– feeling really scared about this, so far in my stuff, help.
The good:
– the mind-blowing revelation that I am allowed to make choices based on what I want.
– August Moon! Always fun writing.
– Whispers Underground. I do enjoy the Rivers of London series.
I just came up with the idea of Daylight Balancing Time. (Others have likely thought of it too.)
What if instead of setting the clocks forward an hour in the summer, we did it in the winter? Then mornings would be lighter at a time when we really need sunlight.
The Power of Crossing the Street! I’ve had it, I’ve needed it, I’ve used it. Sometimes I cross to the shady side of the street and sometimes I move into the sunlight – adjusting to what I need to take care of myself. Crossing the street when something scary is on the other side. Crossing the street because that is what I need to do to get where I want to go.
I also had the super powers of Helpful People Everywhere and This Was Easier Than I Thought.
I haven’t sorted these into good and hard, just listing them as they come.
The big thing of the past week was on Saturday, and it was just what I needed. We concluded with a sense of peace and went out in joy.
CT is back from her travels; she gave me hugs and souvenirs from Bulgaria, Greece, and England.
On Monday I was sinking into apathy. On Wednesday I had all the energy and made all of the calls and arranged for some things to happen and other things to not happen. Yesterday I finished strong – up till late writing an article that someone requested. I rejected the first rough draft and started over again and words flowed, time stood still, and when I finished, I still had energy.
I haven’t been sleeping much or well.
MrB has another infection in his open wounds. I’m very worried.
<3 for MrB, and for you, Vicki.
Chicken is preening her feathers with that salve, it makes them shiny and smooth and helps her feel safe.
The hard this week:
o Watching a painful and emotional blowup among friends, apparently about truth vs semantics. Ouch.
o Noticing the unfortunate results of a lack of exercise, not being much motivated to do something about it, and realizing how this will interfere with options for an upcoming trip unless I can get motivated after all. The monsters are just yawning. Another ouch.
o Received another stupid computer generated payment demand (for $0.00!) for a bank account that has already been closed – twice! I will call this time rather than go into the branch office, but it is so annoying. Granting myself many thousands of sparklepoints in advance for how calm and kind I intend to be on the phone as I explain why they are not hearing a rant even though it would arguably be deserved. (smirk)
The good this week:
o Getting daily text message & photos from young cousins on a cross-country road trip. Grateful this is possible!
o The heat has eased off for the last few days, although it is supposed to be back tomorrow. This has been delightful, especially at night, when the fans have been able to catch up.
o I found “root beer float” ice cream and it is amazing!
Cheers to all the Chickeneers!
Hello Havi 🙂 loving that my autocorrect just changed your name to “aha I” 😀
I’m somewhat reticent to leave this comment because I suspect that poems are really just advice in stealth form, but your check-in this week reminded me of two of my heart’s favourites: ‘Revelation Must Be Terrible’ by David Whyte [because of the “deep well” and feeling home-less / exiled] and ‘The Panther’ by Rilke [because, panther]. I haven’t included links so that the choice is yours about whether you want to hunt them out or not.
Hx
Thank you! <3
Hello my sweet chickeny friend!
So much hard and so much good.
Finding my way back to groundedness after sailing off into the skyyyyyyyy
Breathing for tangles, for mysteries, for curling question marks of whyyyyyness.
+Breathing for crossing the double bar line at Project Pterodactyl. WOW. So much wonder(ful)(ness), so much hard, so much good, so much learning and growing and magic. WOW. And, breathing especially for right now, the sadness that it’s over, how could it be over, can’t we rewind back to day one and be there again and again and again? Remembering that the answer to this is actually YES. I absolutely DO have that superpower. YES. YES I DO.
+Breathing for crossing the double bar line with the DSBP Volcano. Breathing for the courage with which I faced that. Breathing for the rightness of this answer. Breathing for this body that sustains me in my decisions.
+Breathing for the Carpet Wolf disaster. Breathing acknowledgment for how NOT SORRY I feel about it. Breathing appreciation for those who do. Breathing gratitude for the Blanket Fort, for the safety and sparkling of that space, the new space. Breathing okayness, because I am the okayest and we are the okayest and everything is okayful.
+Breathing for the Dragonization. Of COURSE I’m a fucking dragon. Of course of course of course. FUCK YEAH.
+Breathing for the Mystery of H. Fuck all that. Breathing for the Hness.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Becoming IX. Whoa.
+Breathing for the death of Agent T. Radiating love for everyone who loved him. Breathing sadness, fear, uncertainty.
+Breathing for the ongoing Mystery of the Green Stuff. Just breathing and letting that be what it is.
+Breathing for Op: D30. WHOA. Overwhelminess!
AND breathing for donuts, delights, deliciousness, and other things that start with D!
+Breathing for the perfect purpleness of Project Pterodactyl and all the people that made it possible. YES. YES. THANK YOU. YES.
+Breathing for the Blanket Fort. FUCK. YES. BLANKET. FORT.
+Breathing for books. OHMYGOD BOOKS YAYYYYYYY!!!! <3 <3 <3
+Breathing for Op: Pegasus Blue, which is terrifying and awesome and I have great hopes for it, and so I am donutizing it very much.
+Breathing for Agent Rainbowhat coming to visit me in SIX DAYS AHHHHHEEEEEEYAAAAYYYYY!!!!!
+Breathing for the Land of Trees and Hills, for visiting there often, for the trees and the hills, for the radiant light faces, for how home and not-home that place is and will probably always be to me.
+Breathing for really good people doing really hard work with love, compassion, and groundedness.
+Breathing for Op: Treet{op}!!! What a spectacular donut surprise!
we are the okayest! <3 <3 <3
I saw a t-shirt once that said “World’s Okayest Guitarist” and I identified with it SO MUCH that now I use okayest alllllll the time <3 <3 <3
OHMYGOD that should be everything. World’s Okayest Grandpa. World’s Okayest Pie-Baker. Yes. Thank you.
Treet{op}!!!!!! GENIUS
Hello Sunday, hello chickeneers, thanks for all the posts, so much resonantes with me. And thanks for the beautiful salve.
The not so good stuff:
– Husband issues: Where did all feeling of togetherness disappear? Stupid communication pattens, none of us breaks the ice.
– His lethargy on top of this plus obsessive cleanliness. He did not want flowers because the vase is difficult to clean!?
– So many of my issues in a novel I was reading, so much sudden sadness
The good:
– Instead of waiting I did a wonderful internet yoga class and then went for a run and my body was happy and I could cope better with husband’s lethargy afterwards.
– Sitting by the river, feet in the water, reading
– Effect of yin yoga class with hip openers
– Rain cooled everything down, finally. Everything in nature smell fresh and looks lush.
– Welcome party at work with all the new people, lovely location by the lake, warm evening, laughter, wine, food.
– Got in touch with the only guy in my town (yes, there is just one) who offers TRE, will arrange a session tomorrow
<3 to you! Thank you again so much for sending me to TRE, it has been nothing short of life-altering. I downloaded the app and also got the book on my phone (though I haven't looked at the book yet), and have been doing it regularly, and I do not even have words to describe the difference it is making in every part of my life.
Havi, wonderful to hear that a part of a chicken can have such an impact. For me TRE was also an amazing experience that has changed and – literally 🙂 – shook up a lot within a short time. Sadly the woman I had my sessions with with is in another country! And where I live there is only this one practitioner and from his voice I am not sure if I will click with him, will see next week. What is the name of the app,I searched but couldn’t find it, maybe that is an option for me also.
The app is called Stress Less, I believe. I found a reference to it on the TRE site. And the book is Trauma Releasing Exercises, which again I haven’t read but since it outlines the exercises and you’ve already done them, you could just walk (shake!) your way through. I think the app would have been hard for me to use had I not already taken the workshop, but having done it I was able to make it work!
Yeah, it is downloading right now, thanks so much. Let’s keep on shaking!
Hello, Havi. Hello, chickeneers. Hello, week.
What worked? Checking the second bag. Pursuing the earlier flight.
Next time? Buy stamps earlier. Black hiking sandals.
Hard, frustrating, etc.:
* Ludicrous fear popcorn avalanche = lumpy mattress
* Profound disappointment and sadness at unshared priorities
* Aging dog’s hygiene issues
* The new machine was supposed to be faster…
* I thought I was done with [a]. ARGH.
* Monsters vs. gut vs. resistance to feeling taken advantage of vs. “make my own luck” mentality vs. recognizing life is glorious no matter what happens vs., vs., vs. ARGHHH!
Good, affirming, etc.:
* I make things possible for my beloveds. I make things better for my colleagues and clients. It is fun to make things happen and to encourage ’em.
* I resented having to order an obsolete writing handbook for project [c], but its examples are cracking me up (from the religion section: “What an ugly statue of our Lady!”). A happy breath for unexpected rewards.
* My minor albeit angsted-over economies (not buying the souvenir towel, the lacy orange wrap, or the books in French) feel good in light of unexpected expenses on the horizon.
* But I’m also feeling fine about splurging on the Rodin catalogue and the glasses of red wine.
* Functioning in French. Youpi!
* This fall, there will be swimming. And dancing. And skating. And three weddings. I am so excited!
* Finding out that the bike repair kiosks I admired in Montreal have already made it to Nashville. Yay social media interconnectingness!
With warm wishes to all y’all, and bouquets, too.