Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: close tabs!
Here’s what I want:
While I — astonishingly — don’t have any physical piles of doom at the moment, I seem to have replaced them with seventy seven thousand open Firefox tabs.
I’d like to start closing those doors, and figuring out what my new system is for this not to happen.
Ways this could work:
I can spend an hour or two watching myself mess around with this, to see what the patterns are.
And I can flail on it.
And I can talk it over with Cairene.
My commitment.
To be curious and loving: what purpose does this serve and how can I still get what I need?
To take lots of notes.
Thing 2:
Here’s what I want:
I’m working with the theme of being at home with money.
Since I’m a business savant, I’m actually really good at making money.
And I’ve been dangerously poor, so I know about getting through not having any money.
But just being comfortable with it. Being comfortable and at ease with having it. This needs more love and attention, as I learned this past week.
Ways this could work:
I can use Shiva Nata to deconstruct some of the old patterns and unquestioned assumptions.
The Stone Skipping questions can help me get clearer on what this new relationship with money might look and feel like.
I can talk to Slightly Future Me and find out what she knows about all this.
My commitment.
To remember that what I think is set in stone is not.
And that there are all kinds of things that I’m probably wrong about.
Thing 3: a hidden board.
Here’s what I want:
Oh I have no idea how to describe this.
You know how in movies sometimes there’s a character trying to dissect his past or uncover a conspiracy?
And there’s a hidden room or a picture that flips up to reveal a chart? Or a wall covered in scribbled notes, newsletter clippings and colored pushpins.
I want like that.
My office is sometimes a Strategy Room and sometimes a Wish Room, and I haven’t managed to figure out how to make those aspects work together.
I want a secret wall!
Ways this could work:
No idea.
I mean, I’m not even entirely sure what this ask is.
My commitment.
To look for the essence of my wish.
Is it about shelter? Secrecy? Privacy? Excitement? Planning? Structure?
I think it would be useful to talk to Metaphor Mouse and get more information on what exactly I’m yearning for.
Thing 4: to enjoy the glorrrious weather
Here’s what I want:
Every April, all I want to do is walk in the sunshine and smell all the lovely flowers and be carefree and delight in springtime.
And every April I have ridiculous amounts of work to do.
Until I finally start using the almanac section of the Book of Me, we are going to need to compromise.
Ways this could work:
I could just decide to test my hypothesis that really, truly experiencing springtime will do good things for my business in its own way.
And that if I have to delay some projects, then so be it.
I’m not sure if my fuzzball monsters will be into that, so this is going to have to involve a lot of dialogue with them.
My commitment.
To remember that my monsters and I share the same goal: to make sure that I am safe and cared for.
To remember that I always get my best ideas in the spring, so a little additional frolicking time is a good thing, not a selfish decision.
To be alive. To be here now.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Let’s see. I wanted my energy back, and I actually did remember to take my iron. And did lots of walking. Improvement!
I asked for Dr Seuss books for the Playground, and a number of people offered to send some. Oh!
Then I was hoping to find the last couple people for the April Rally (Rally!), and I’m not actually sure if that happened or not because I disappeared this week and wasn’t at Drunk Pirate Council. I’ll have to check.
And there was an ask about building a Refueling Station for me. That’s something I’ve been really investigating this past week. No visible, tangible forward progress yet, but a bunch of internal stuff is moving.
I will keep asking for this one, and rephrase what it is that I’m looking for.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
The word “manifest”. To be told how I should be asking for things. To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Much love for your gwishes! So happy to have you doing this with me.
Follow
oooh! I have so wanted the same thing for my self (the secret hidden project board)!!!!!! This is my favorite possible way to do it so far, but I haven’t manned-up and tried to make it:
Take two pieces of not-too-heavy boards, like 2’x3′. Hinge together in middle with two hinges. so that it can open like a book (except vertically instead of horizontally, like if you folded paper in half, bottom up. on the outside of the bottom one, paint something pretty (or collage or pin fabric). on the inside of both, put white board paint or chalk board paint. put some sort of hanging loop on the top and bottom edge. Hang on a wall, so that if you put both loops on the wall hook, you see the pretty picture. but if you open it up, you have a fab chalk board or white board. And the hinge makes them just slightly not flush together, so that they don’t touch (which would smear your ideas), but a little rubber cushion at the top would help too.
ANYWAY….i wake up in the middle of the night with ideas like that. it drives me nuts and i never make any of them.
last week I wanted energy at work, and I got it! i think my green smoothies did the trick. i also wanted to work on the biz plan outline – no progress, but did some research on sources for info.
THIS WEEK: I want to get everything caught up that I need to do in order to have NOTHING on my mind to distract me when I go to April Rally! Go Go Gadget To-Do list!
Ways this Could Work: I could make a giant list of must to-dos, color code by day and just make it happen. I could go back over that list and discover things that are not as urgent as I want to make them.
My Commitment: To take care of myself first, and my to-do list second. To continually check-in and ask myself what I’m avoiding and why. To not beat myself up if it doesn’t really all get done.
What I Want:
This headache to go away. This weird belly thing to go away. So that I can finish cleaning without needing breathe just so and start fixing lunch fixings for the week.
Love. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I want a new man in my life for love and affection purposes.
Socks. Check. Got new socks today. 5 pairs. Including one with toes. Summer socks. Peds!
Ease. A week and a life of ease. Except in yoga, when I want effort and ease.
Also, I need to make a Book of Me and include “sign up to give seminars” under the “Do Not Do” section. It’s because I like when people say “yes, we’ve chosen you!” but I don’t like the actual “leave my house and go stand in front of people and talk” part. Sigh. 2 more to go.
Your Book of Me has an almanac section! That’s awesome. Even without knowing what yours looks like the word “almanac” triggers all sorts of useful ideas.
Also a secret wall sounds rad and more feasible than the bookshelf that swings out to reveal a secret passage that’s always been something I thought it’d be super cool to have. For me it’s qualities of adventure, privacy, and peacefulness I think. And space that’s really mine- not even anyone knocking. Somewhere that would encourage creativity.
Hmm, that wasn’t intended as an ask, but it sort of is. The only how that immediately comes to mind is not something I’m committed to just now, so I’m not sure where they leaves me. Pondering. And believing this ask is real even if it’s fruition is not literally a secret passage to an awesome hidden room.
Last week I wanted clarity and I got it, even though I’m slightly scared to want what I want…but despite that I’ve started noting down ideas for how that could possibly work. And I wanted comfort and retreat which I got in the most unlikely places. Still haven’t done anything about finding a collapsible table.
This week:
VPA #1: relieve/get rid of the shoulder pain. Poor right trapezius muscle is not happy at all. I think it’s mainly stress with having to use equipment at work that is designed for grown men rather than women who haven’t grown skeletally since they were 12.
This could happen by:
– easing off on computer time at home
– massages help
– as do getting involved in something that makes me forget everything else, preferably in 3D with another person
– gentle yoga
– really, this could be a good time to get that table
I am committed to:
– treating myself with kindness
– maybe I can rearrange my work station?
– typing slower
VPA #2: I seem to have completely stopped doing shiva nata. I want to do it but I just don’t. I have things I want to work on using it. *Puzzled* So I want to understand why I’m not doing it.
How this could happen:
– journalling
– what it is that I’m afraid of? Perhaps my monster troupe can help me out on this one
– perhaps I could to try and put aside a ten minutes for Shiva and not do anything else and see what happens?
I am committed to:
– observing
– taking notes
– refraining from hurling shoes at myself
VPA #3: I want to leave comments on all the photos I view on flickr when I can say something positive instead of just looking, maybe favouriting and moving on.
This could happen by:
– remembering that it does not need to be an art history essay I just have to say what I think about it
– remembering that this is how I’ve found some of my favourite photographers
I am committed to:
– not trying to comment on ‘x’ number – 1 is fine.
– noticing patterns and how I’m feeling
VPA #4: Actually this is almost meta VPAing. My mum bought me the most fabulous cat yoga journal and I’ve decided to use it for my gwish journal…And I want to get started this week.
This could happen by:
– doing it (well not right now as I’ve just done this and need to go to bed and stop gossiping online) and not leaving until I have the perfect gwish – that will never happen, there is no perfect gwish. Just an everyday, ordinary gwish will be fine…almost perfect in fact.
My commitment:
– let’s try this out and see what happens – an experiment.
Hello all!
I would like…
The qualities of peace, self love, kindness and joy. Ooo la laa.
To create my own experiences of happiness at work.
Deep beautiful sleep.
To create a self love button for every time I notice myself craving validation from outside.
To allow myself to be flawed and human even so – in case that doesn’t work!
Some more exercise – my instant hit of joy at the moment.
To keep cleaning and clearing my flat so that I can really enjoy my home and be my most creative and contented self. To notice any resistance. To try the Kapalabhati breath, to help with any stuck.
To see the man and our situation with truth and heart. To do whatever I need to do in relation to us with honesty, heart, integrity.
To sit with any incongreunce that resides there.
To be brave, to trust the universe/divine/whateverisatwork.
To write an email inviting people to send me their experiences about love so that I can soak it up and see what artistic journey this takes me on and to help connect up lots of dots!
To decide when I am going to do a photography course.
I commit…
To noticing, exploring, saying out loud hmmmm I wonder…when I want to experience a qualitybut it feels too far away.
To do my lazy arsed but so fantastic meditation thing each day.
I love ideapaint, which is erasable white board paint and changes any wall into an idea fest. I just love scribbling on walls. Somehow lifesized scribbling does something to the brain. Very Harold and the Purple Crayon.
And money is a weird thing. Everyone is weird about money, just in their own. We should take up a collection (pun intended) of money weirdnesses.
Or maybe we should have giant stone coins a la Yap. Now there’s a money dilemma of an entirely different sort….
Sending you lots of love. It’s been too loooooooong…..
So, I’ve been devouring all of Barbara Sher’s books recently and my absolute favorite has been Wishcraft. I would love to find some like-minded people and create a Success Team of my own, so my VPA is related to that.
What I Want
To meet five fabulous folks in the Portland Metro Area who love Barbara Sher and would like to forge a fantastic Success Team.
Ways This Could Work
I could send my friends and co-conspirators an email so they know about it and could offer suggestions (or join themselves). I could print flyers and post them up around town. I could pay attention when meeting new people and be receptive to the idea that they might like to know about it.
My Commitment
To be patient. To create a welcoming space for these new people and this new project. To practice being comfortable with being visible and vulnerable.
I haven’t VPA’d in awhile. Come to think of it, I haven’t really asked for anything lately, so I suppose it’s about time I did…Here’s to it! 🙂
What I Want:
To rollerskate through a wee financial obstacle course.
To be unintimidated by the numbers.
How This Could Work:
Shivanata always helps with creating spaces through which to ‘skate’…I could do that.
I can approach the numbers as themselves, as only numbers, not as what I think they represent. Numbers alone can be interesting and fun, actually.
My Committment:
To focus only on this present moment.
To trust that I know what needs to be done, right now.
Raising a glass to the fulfillment of everyone’s gwishes! xo
So the last two weeks, I asked for Help, not knowing what would happen. Just being open. And Help came in several Fluent Self posts that were totally spot on for me. And then I followed the link to Hiro, & I suddenly Got the Sovereignity thing, and am just blown away with how perfectly my request was granted. And very grateful.
Thank you,
MaraRose
What I want:
To have both of my big, so-very-nearly-done projects to finally move to the next phase.
How this could work:
I could plug away at it, 25 minutes at a time, and stop trying to push at the one that I can’t do much about right now.
My commitment:
Spend less time worrying and more time doing just the next thing.
Hey, I have a suggestion for the kajillion open browser windows.
Download Evernote, which is a notetaking system.
It’s free, it will take screen copies of the pages, you can file them in Evernote, and find them really easily.
And then you can exhale and close that window, knowing that you can find it again easily whenever you want.
I started using it a few months ago, and I LOVE it.
Very Personal Ad
Hello Universe. I’d like to ask for two things, please:
1. My energy. Maybe it’s the seasonal change; maybe it’s the heaviness of tasks undone and mired and cobwebbed in avoidance mode…but I am missing my energy and would like to welcome her home.
2. Ease. In exploring some work opportunities, I’d like to experience ease and lightness and remembering the richness of who I am and what I bring to the table. Smiling would be good. A sense of adventure and joy would be a bonus. But baseline ease would be best of all.
Ways this could work:
– gentle sleep
– vitamins
– affirmations
– lower my expectations
– self kindness
– dance and yoga and stretch
Thanks, Universe. Hugs…
Ooh, this one scares me, but here goes:
What I want: To meet my deadline.
I want to get a decent draft of my dissertation proposal completed and sent to my adviser by the agreed-upon date of “around April 6”, which I choose to interpret as “April 6 would be ideal, but April 7 would still be okay.” This feels scary and difficult, and even if I do meet this deadline, there is a chance (for reasons I don’t want to get into right now) that it will all be for naught. Still, even though it’s scary and hard, and even though I have these feelings of pessimism and anxiety, I really would like the satisfaction of completing and submitting a decent draft.
How this could happen: Oh, jeez. I don’t know.
I can acknowledge all the clamoring voices — the monsters, the sad, scared selves — give their hands a squeeze, and assure them that they don’t need to be at the front of the V right now. I can choose a facet of myself who would love to be at the front of the V — even if she doesn’t seem real right now, I can still create her — and see what wisdom she brings to the table. I can keep going. I can smile. I can do my best, even while I’m working on this, to still be playing, and playful. I can do my best to let go of “what ifs” and projected outcomes. Maybe the ultimate outcome doesn’t matter as much as it seems. I’ve decided to do this, to work on this draft; I can just stay in the moment, from moment to moment, and let things happen.
My commitment: I will give myself all the love and kindness I can. I will do my best to remember that all of this stuff is temporary, it’s just something I’m dealing with right now. It doesn’t define the rest of my life; it doesn’t define me. Who I am is vaster than any dissertation, deeper than any degree program. I am a gift.
Well. I wasn’t sure if writing this would make me feel better, but it does. Thank you.
VPA:
To not go crazy this week what with all the various drivings-around and cute pets to take care of. My GPS died . . . a new one is coming in the mail, overnight shipping . . . but all those addresses (!!!!!) will still have to be re-entered.
For my cats to feel secure and loved even though I won’t be there most of the time. For them to not be naughty. For my downstairs neighbor to be able to check in on them.
For the music practice time to come through and for me to have the energy and the desire to practice.
For me to find the flippin’ SCHEDULE that I drew out for myself (with colors) that goes through my days, hour-by-hour, of the week. And I lost both pieces of paper and I have seriously melted down trying to find them. 🙁
For my mom’s biopsy to go well this week and for the news to be good, or at least not bad.
Ways these all could work:
I could remember to relax and stay positive and not worry.
I could focus on what I really, really want most in the world.
The universe could give me/us a boost.
It could be sunny all week.
Thing 1: blogging community
What I want:
Discussion on my blog. To connect with other artists and thinkers of all stripes; to learn about what kind of art people want in their lives; to share my process with people who’ll find it interesting (hint: it involves hot metal and gears and nifty tools! and thinking about worldbuilding and permanence and talismans [talismen?])
How this might work:
-Heyyy, any of you folks interested in the above stuff? 😀 http://www.purpleshiny.com
-I’m already crossposting to my existing social networks; I’m hoping some folks migrate over (even if they don’t, it helps me to know I have at least a bit of an audience).
-People might follow me over from other places (various blogs, deviantArt, twitter, etc) if I make myself an interesting and genuine presence there
My commitment:
-To speak up, find my voice, make good contributions, and generally be the guest I wish I had in other people’s blogs/spaces
-To keep making my blog a real, intriguing, inviting place–keep opening up and showing what I do even when I’m afraid I’m throwing a party that nobody will show up to
-To remember not to chase validation-through-blog-stats, that blogging is secondary to my art, and that I have many ways to make connections with people.
Thing 2: healthy productivity
What I want:
I’m basically a month away from vending at a huge convention. Historically, time-leading-up-to-vending usually has two possible failure modes: the “It’s too late anyway, there’s nothing worthwhile I can make, I’ll just put out this old stuff that nobody wanted last time and aughh” iguana; or the “make ALL the things!!!” mode where I turn out all sorts of great new pieces, but to the detriment of my health and sanity. These are probably two sides of the same coin, now that I think about it… I’m hoping to somehow avoid both of those problems this month, and make new things in a way that’s sustainable and doesn’t burn me out.
Ways this could work:
-Maybe I’ll randomly fall into a good rhythm?
-Maybe I can figure out how to schedule work time for myself without bringing on the iguanas (they hate feeling too busy)
-Maybe I can try to treat myself more gently when I’m in work-mode to avoid burnout
My commitment:
-I will give myself breaks and rests periods on nights when I’m working in the studio, so that my body feels better and the non-artist bits of me don’t feel so neglected. Stretching in between things at the workbench! At least a half an hour of reading or knitting on each night when I make things!
-I will keep a list of projects to work on and remember the little useful things to do when I’m not feeling project-y. I’ll keep thinking about exciting new directions and let them make my ideas feel new and glorious.
-I will figure out if I can feel OK about putting workbench time *and* resting time on the calendar
-I will be inquisitive, gentle, and caring with myself when I don’t want to go and work–I will try to tease out avoidance from real tiredness and respond appropriately to my internal cues.
Thing three: just a gwish
I want to feel more comfortable with Shiva Nata. I have the DVD and a shiny worksheet, and have had a reasonable time figuring things out so far, but I still feel like I haven’t “clicked” with it entirely. Going to try flailing for longer blocks of time–meaning more than a few minutes. Try to give myself more permission to ease into it, and try not beat myself up for not insta-transforming into an epihpany-generating machine just from touching the DVD. I still really want it to be something wonderful for me, and I will try to gently clear the way to let it happen (not build up expectations of doom).
Updates from last time:
I wanted a good vacation–and I got it! Soooo wonderful. And I wanted my website revamp to get finalized–which it did, once I talked with one of the tech people. Yay!
What I want:
My Right People to find my site and hire me for at least my standard rate instead of some watered-down Portland agency offering to pay me half what I’m worth.
Ways this could happen:
The initial emails I’ve sent out could bear fruit. The (gah) cold-emails I need to send could also bear fruit. My Right People will be happy that I have a better computer setup than they do, so it’s not necessary for me to be in their office.
My commitment:
To send the (gah) cold-emails I need to send out. To find other ways to contact my Right People.
What I want:
For my cancer-filled cat to finish his days in comfort. For him to stop puking on everything so that I have to make thrice-weekly trips to the laundromat. To stop crying every day and every night he lays on my lap and consider what he might be feeling as well as how empty my life will be without him.
Ways this could happen:
When I visit the vet in two weeks, I could be very straight-forward with him that I lack the funds to fight a battle that cannot be won. To convince said vet to give me the drugs necessary for the cat to stop puking and start keeping food down. To get the meds that will make the dying cat happy and pain-free for the rest of his days. To ask the vet the hard question of “how long does he have to live?”
My commitment:
To take Dave to the vet with me so I don’t have to drive home a sobbing zombie. To ask the hard questions and be open to the responses. To spend as much time with the cat, loving and petting him as much as he wants. To being attentive to when he tries to let me know he’s ready to go. To take from this experience the lesson that we all deserve treats before we’re about to die.
What I want:
For my aching back and throbbing arm to accept the long soaks in warm water and the stretching I’m giving them long enough for me to finish my part of the garden digging.
Ways this could happen:
My body could recognize that I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have. But also that the digging must continue while the weather allows and then I’ve promised it loooong a long period of rest.
My commitment:
See Danielle tomorrow for adjustments. Continued soaks and stretches. Taking vicodin and SOMA when back and arms complain. Letting the rest of my body know that I’m not ignoring it, it just needs to wait a couple more days before I give it the attention it needs.
What I want:
The local scooter shop to accept my offer of trade. I do their books for what they charge hourly, and they fix my scooters for whatever credit I accrue.
Ways this could happen:
I call them on Wednesday or Thursday (as they requested) and go down there to assess their books to see if I can actually help.
My commitment:
To be open to letting them know my hourly rate for my usual job so that they see the trade is fair. To getting it in writing so there are no misunderstandings. To show them the value of having me help them with books so they can actually work on bikes to make money.
What I want:
To start working on my new career as a shivanata teacher for stroke and traumatic injury victims.
Ways this could happen:
I could get my science-minded fellow shivanauts to help me compose scientific/neuroplasticity (instead of hippie, woo-woo) simple explanations for both the victims and their caregivers. To learn which lobes of the brain affect which parts of the body. To start practicing shivanata backward in preparation for becoming a teacher.
My commitment:
To connect with the two stroke patients I already know and start practicing by teaching them for free. To anticipate their potential physical needs and address them before I start asking them to flail. To show them my own personal brain scans so that they understand I’m a kindred spirit.
What I want: My own permission to write imperfect, incomplete VPAs. I want to write VPAs every week and so many times I don’t. I think it’s because I want to come up with just the right thing, like it’s my only chance at a wish and I don’t want to waste it. But not making the wish at all is the biggest waste of all.
How it could happen: I could write a half-assed VPA that just so happens to work beautifully, gathering evidence for the wonders of asking, even imperfectly. I could write the first thing that comes to mind, no matter how silly. I could write them in a moment of lightheartedness, when I’m not taking myself too seriously. I could note things I find myself wanting during the week so that I don’t show up on Sunday blank and blinkey.
My commitment: To be curious and playful. To remember what the White Queen told Alice about believing impossible things. To intentionally ask for goofy things. To consider proxying, even if I don’t know what the proxy is for, just knowing I like the proxy is enough to tell me there’s a wished for quality nestled in there. To ask for qualities when I don’t have more clarity. To ask for clarity when I don’t have any at all.
What I want: A steadiness to hanging things on the refrigerator, i.e. erm, publishing?
How it could happen: Instead of generating so many new ideas, I could generate ideas about polishing the ones percolating. I could discover help–the right person to hire, or a new resource. I could find out that it’s not even steadiness that I’m after… and I could discover the truer essence underneath.
My commitment: To play with steadiness in the smallest possible increments in a variety of areas. To talk with the part of me who knows about steady progress, and to the part of me who thinks steadiness is snooze worthy. To write through my own processing. Playing with intentions for Shiva Nata.
p.s. I sat next to a fountain writing my wishes, and watched two little girls throw coins. One kissed her penny, tossed it into the fountain, and then smiled to herself. The other closed her eyes and mouthed her wish before tossing in her coin. So I merged their two methods into one, tossed in my own coin, and made a wish for we VPA-ers 🙂
Dear Perfect House for us to rent in Seattle somewhere in the north end. I’m hoping there’s a Craigslist equivalent where houses look for people and pick them. I know you’ll find me and my Sweetie. We’re so ready to move to a place of our own that is light and airy and also has protective trees around and a feeling of sanctuary and seclusion. We live together in separate time zones, so we need you to have a bedroom for us that is far enough away from working rooms so we can each work at times when the other is sleeping. We’d like a landlord who is simpatico, responsive and responsible. Got to have clean air, dry, warm in winter, cool in summer, low utility bills, easy parking, and a beautiful view. Absolutely no shag rugs or cottage cheese ceilings! We’d love good neighbors, no barking dogs, lots of visual privacy.
How this could happen? We know Seattle has an all-time low percentage of available rentals right now, and we only need one perfect (for us) place. We could hear about a place from friends. Putting out this personal ad could draw the energy to us and/or someone reading this might actually know of a place! We could find something perfect online and be the first people to get there. We’re open to other possibilities we don’t yet know.
Our commitment: To send out the call – here, to friends, in joyful prayer. To pay attention to clues even if they don’t immediately meet our pictures. To not be distracted by houses we don’t want.
Good morning all, I hope everyone is well. London is beautiful today, I hope it is as lovely everywhere else.
Last week I asked for:
1. Not to be scared
Mistake, I think. I don’t want not-to-be-scared, I want to be scared and not feel like it’s the worst thing ever and I’m going to die. To be scared and to be comforted is what I really want- it’s not quite what I got but hey, I didn’t ask for the best thing!
2. Money
Nothing happening on that score, but I know it’s a big ask.
3. The Play
I asked for the courage to get to 10,000 words and I made it with an extra 1500 words thrown in for good measure. Hooray hooray hooray!
This week I would like:
1. The Play
I would like to be able to write 15,000 words. Good words. And I would like to be proud of them. Perhaps even let the gf read some of them.
My commitment- I will get up early each morning to write. And I will not get discouraged because this is what I am meant to do, this is what I am, so writing (even if it never makes me any money) is just being me, nothing more.
2. Money
Third week in a row I’m going to put this in- I gwish gwish gwish so hard for a) more money and b) the skills to deal with it if and when it comes. Not to be frightened of money.
My commitment- my eyes are always open. I am receptive and patient. However I also realise that my unhappiness is not worth extra money and after listening to the internal klaxon bells I turned down an interview for a job I didn’t want, working for someone I don’t like, even if it is more money.
3. Peace
I want this week to be peaceful. I have underscheduled in order to spend time with my gf and get lots of sleep. I would like to be quiet and thoughtful this week.
My commitment- to be more mindful as the week goes on. To try and find a little flame of excitement about each new day. To appreciate the peace of a clean kitchen 🙂
Also, I finally purchased the Procrastination Dissolve-o-Matic kit and while I am really excited I am also scared, so in light of last week’s learnings, I am going to allow myself to be scared and comfort myself the best way I know how. Hooray for a new week.
Hi Havi, your secret wall thing made me think of a Murphy bed. The idea that a room can transform as needed. Love it.
As for my VPA,
Having shyness about writing today but here goes:
I want, to this time of change to have ease.
I want more energy, sleep and time for me.
How these could happen:
I could use the tools I already have for staying connected to me- focusing, yoga, shivanata, journaling – on a daily basis coming from love of me – not being a good girl.
My commitment:
To soften and appreciate.
Last time I asked for.. Routine & Energy.. and I’ve been taking my iron tablets and waking by 9ish.. still working on it. I also asked for insight into my money situation.. and I launched my next service over at my blog store 🙂 Huzzah! And I put a sale on it to celebrate. :]
This week?
Thing 1: Progress
Here’s what I want:
My to-do list for University looks like this:
revise for 2 exams, write a 3,000 word clinical essay with 2 cases studies, write a 1,000 word essay on speech perception, finish dissertation analysis. Write up analysis of dissertation results – with graphs, tables & statistics.. finish introduction & method . send draft to tutor. write discussion. finish dissertation.
I’d like to make progress on three of these items this week. i don’t care which.
Ways this could work:
Spending 30 mins planning – maybe choose 5 sections and agree to do whichever 3 i feel like at the time.
Flail. And thus having an amazing connection brain-buzz idea of how to link ideas in the work.
My commitment.
To rest too.
To write it note form if words are failing me.
Thing 2: Masters Application..
Here’s what I want:
I’ve applied for two masters courses. one had a deadline of applications by March 30th, the other’s deadline is May 30th. I sent both in last week.
That means they’re reviewing and deciding on one of those courses already.
I trust that i’ll be accepted to whichever one is best for me.
I’m not sleeping for worry, though. I want to make peace with this in-the-middle-of-a-process space.
Ways this could work:
Talks with Future Me, who has done the course.
Meditation.
Trust.
My commitment.
To have faith in future me; that i’ll get onto one and be happy.
To breathe.
To work hard on my current course.
In light,
Rose
Thing I’m wanting: To take Jen Louden’s Teach Now course without charging it on my credit card
Ways this could work:
– Could retweet my proposal throughout the day
– Could ask everyone who said yes to pay more (ugh)
– Could ask everyone who’s interested to beat the bushes
– Could tell them the truth about why I don’t want to pay for it myself
– Could be open to miracles!
– Could think BIGGER. Maybe I’m thinking small so I don’t know what that means?
– Could ask teachers for discount. NO. NOPE. NO WAY. FERGEDDIT.
– Could go on a miracle walk
My commitment:
– To not go into debt for this
– To regard the results as data, and not take them personally
UPDATE: last week I wanted to find out why I wasn’t exercising. I asked Wise Self, who gently pointed out that the time I set up for exercising was already full. So I found another time that works better, and: I started exercising! AND LOVING IT.
I also wanted to have time during the day for my Big Work. I asked my manager for a regular slot during the week in exchange for my weekend rota slot, and it was EASILY DONE. Am very grateful!
hi all! yay for VPA’s!
thing #1: finish the screening of the articles
ways: well, just do them
commitment:
-do 200-300 a day
-try to make the process fun. mataphor mouse?
-treat myself to a lovely massage when i finish them, and keep that in mind
-with curiosity, try to find out why i don’t want to do them. apart from that i find it so boring and get angry at how much useless rubish i am finding. and i am scared that all this process will end up with just finding 10 articles in almost 4000 that are useful
thing #2: the dandruff to go
i have never had dandruff before, and now i have it. it is just in the temples area
ways: the treatment could work, it could just go away, i could find a treatment that is not so agressive to my delicate scalp
commitment:
-take my iron and vitamins, that helps for a lot of other things too
-use the product i bought with hope and tenderness and a nice massage
-have a little chat with it so it can tell me why it is here and what it needs to go away, and what does it need from me
-write it a love letter
thing #3: my wrist to stop hurting
i did not hit it or twit it or anything, one day it started hurting
ways: don’t know, there is no obvious reason, so maybe that is a start. look for the not obvious
commitment:
-pay attention to when it hurts, what makes it feel better, what worse
-warm salt
-love letter and a nice chat
thing #4: nice restful sleep with no disturbing dreams
ways: take care and notice
commitment:
-write in the book of me what this nightmares are, keep notes and noticing
-maybe finishing thing #1 will help
-rituals!
-any ideas?
love to all and to your VPA’s
What I want:
My website to stop being broken.
More organizing progress in my office (there are piles of doom!)
To finish the paperwork and email I’ve been putting off.
Keywords: clarity, flow, creative problem-solving mojo.
How this could happen:
Makeup, a hot cup of coffee, squares of chocolate by my side, and dig in.
Recruit Jeffrey to help me sort the piles of doom.
Reinstall the previous WordPress version. Later, maybe tonight, when things quiet down and not as many people are online.
My commitment: To journal my frustrations if needed. To flail at some point today with an intention.
Love and best WordPress wishes to all 🙂
Gwish gwish gwish! This is a gwish week. Especially since I’ve been traveling for um…over 24 hours now. More like 30.
Gwish: for appreciation for all the wonderful of this traveling, and quick and easy forgetting of the hard
Gwish: for amazing and unexpected things to happen as a result of the conference.
Gwish: for an easeful 2 more weeks in which I really get to enjoy being here and create the same kind of spaciousness and grace that I want to have when I go home.
Gwish: for a brilliant birthday idea for the special someone, and the resources to make it happen.
Gwish: for workspace magic! So I go home to a sense of possibility and not an uphill climb.
Gwish: for less of the hard and more of the good. What do I mean by this? How did it sneak out of my fingers? I’m not sure. I will play with it and see what happens.
Gwish: for wisdom and clarity about the grad program that isn’t mine.
happy week to all!
Other secret wall/hidden board options —
> chalkboard paint behind a pretty curtain or other wall covering.
> “Spontan” magnetic boards from Ikea (round or rectangular shapes) I got a rectangular one and I like it so much I’m going to get some more. You can carry the smaller ones to another part of the house/workspace. Can’t write on it, though, have to use sticky notes or notepaper with magnets. This is OK because you can find cute magnets in office supply stores and you can use different colored sticky notes.
Gwish: love and blessings and caring for a former co-worker and his family, whose college-age son died last week.
VPA: I would like continued forward progress on decluttering, including finding some missing paperwork. It could happen if I remember it’s OK to work in my pajamas, and that I can open boxes and look for the folder even if it means more boxes are temporarily in the way. I will commit to getting at least another 200 books sorted & donated in the next week, finding the missing vacuum cleaner part or ordering a new one, and checking all the boxes that came from the office tonight (or to the storage unit tomorrow if it’s not at the house).
Insolation, please. And a map. Or maybe a real magic decoder ring in case I already have a map.
Commitment? Um. Keep doing everything that I’m already doing/not running the hell away.
Progress from last time – I asked for a way to track and structure my activities so I get lots done on the things I’m always saying “I should do X more often” about. And I’ve found a system I like, and am getting better at using it, slowly. So I count it as a success!
VPA #1 –
What I want: Steady, generous income from sources other than a full-time job. Lots of “yes” from many people on a small scale adding up to plentiful money for my needs.
Ways this could happen: I could find and apply for and be hired for the perfect part-time job. I could finally put a few pieces of jewelry up for sale in my Etsy shop. I could add a donate button to my blog. I could advertise my paper-editing-and-rewriting services on Craigslist or Fiverr. People could buy prints of my photos on DeviantArt. The perfect idea for an online-based business could strike me all at once, spring full-formed from my head like Athena from Zeus.
My commitment: To remain open to ideas, even the unlikely ones. To give ideas a fair shake before dismissing them. To try saying yes instead of “That could never work!” To try putting myself out there so people have the *opportunity* to say yes.
VPA #2 –
What I want: To have my taxes done with ease and on time and find out that I’m actually okay and not end up owing huge, unpayable amounts.
Ways this could happen: I could find out I squeaked just under the amount I’m required to file at (I didn’t work much last year). I could get help from somewhere like H&R Block or Liberty Taxes, and they could do it so well I don’t owe anything! Or…I don’t know.
My commitment: To not hide from this, no matter how much I want to.
I want to have peaceful mornings. Waking up refreshed and after a brief meditation and coffee drinking, I’ll head upstairs to work out before I go to work.
I’d also like to remove the piles of last year’s bill off my office floor and put them away in the closet in the cool shoebox I have for them.
thanks,
Liz