Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
What I want.
Some of these are secret agent code and some are taking a silent retreat on.
Some are qualities and some are dreams. Some are re-asks and some are pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- There is something I need to say to a friend and I don’t want to say it. May I either find gentle loving words or not need to say it. Or some other perfect simple solution that I’m not thinking of.
- The Orchard of the Annes combined with music, yes. This will require a protocol.
- Operation What’s The Protocol.
- Continuing to protect strong radiant glowing boundaries by continuing to gracefully decline everything that isn’t wildly appealing in that moment. Notes for the internal scientists. We got pushback on this last week, but doing it was one hundred percent right. Hey Havi Bell: if someone thinks sticking to a plan is more important than you taking care of yourself, that person is not the right person for you to play with.
- A bag with someone else’s name on it. Inspired by Johannah at Rally, whose bag has “Meredith” embroidered on it.
- What would Esmerelda Butterfly do?
- Secret bolthole, take 1, round 2.
- More things that remind us of Morocco.
- Sweetness and more sweetness.
- I want to be a surfer without going in the water.
- Who will watch Around The World In Eighty Days with me?
- Activating the card.
- If Stan can’t help, then who is the agent for the agency?
- You know how to whistle, don’t you?
- Talk to the Pronoun Is Over It monsters.
- Learn more about Operation Spring For This.
- Learn more about Operation Magical Badger Secret Sorting Station In The Hollow Tree Of Wonder And Delight.
- Joyful time with Svevo.
- Oh, Stompopolis!
- Initial dates for the Announcing!
- What if Pesach could be easy this year? And: a quiet, peaceful, happy Seder with people I love.
- Like that, but new. With Agent Santellano.
- May all misunderstandings dissolve in laughter.
The qualities inside of the wants:
Serendipity. Mischief. Presence. Play. Steadiness. Hope. Wonder. Understanding.
And the superpower of trusting that what I need will be there and if not, I will be able to play with what is there and make it work. And, again-again-again, the Secret Holiness of Glamour.
But really: seeing the secret holiness of everything.
Ways this could work.
With pleasure. In tiny epiphanies. Seeded in intentional naps. Undercover and under covers. Through walking it out, writing it out, playing it up, trusting that Nothing Is Wrong.
I’m playing with…
Challenges are mysteries. Bond Girl can do this. What if there is more time than I think?
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Bond Girl wanted a tailor, and I am putting Marisa in charge of this, also asked Rebecca.
The glamorous recommendations for a thing-not-glamorous were received.
Operation Twiceover was a raging success. I did talk to Stan, but talking to Stan was astoundingly ineffective (mystery!), so I want to look into that again and find out what is inside of this.
And I am learning a LOT about the secret holiness of glamour, and it is full of surprises.
Everything else is progressing under the surface… percolate-percolate.
Also Paul wrote a post about Stompopolis called Stompopolis: The Ultra-secret Rumpus Room Atelier of Portland Oregon that you absolutely have to read! There are not enough exclamation points in the world for how over-the-top delighted I feel about this.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
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Something within my little world of family-friends-community, something which is somewhat crappy, just intensified. It’s morally crappy, and it’s logistically crappy, and it’s now center stage in this particular little world. It’s going to make some, if not many, people unhappy, but right now we are all agreeing to act happy about it because there’s really no alternative. This thing is really agitating the waters, both in the community at large and in my home.
I’d like to ask just for some grace for myself in this situation.
Thanks. Warm wishes or sparks from anyone’s own experience very welcome.
@Havi,
What a joyful post about Stompopolis at Paul’s blog! Thanks for linking!
Also, a happy and peaceful Seder and Pesach for you.
> What I Want
To have a gentle, NVC conversation with my friend (she has invited this, although not in these words) about the estrangement with another friend, her sister. To let truth and love flow through my heart and mouth rather than anxiety or judgement.
> The Qualities inside this Want
Expansiveness, Connection, Clarity, Discernment, Nourishment, Stillness, Courage, Growth.
> Ways This Could Work
– Remembering to reveal myself, and to honor their pain, rather than shying away because of mine.
– Modeling this: standing outside the drama.
> Things I’ll Try
– Inviting the Call Monster to watch and listen (for scientific purposes) since he has been helpful til now, but we both would benefit if we explore the results of his caution (and if he takes notes).
– Force fields.
– Inviting consideration of how Now Does Not Need to be Then.
So things are integrating well. Answer was: Best Practices, and journaling. Keep this up.
I started Investigating What I know about White Flowers, and in doing the longhand discovered that this is about:
Detox. Purity. Passion. Elegance. Silence
There’s a lot to this, still Investigating.
Operation Natasha has stalled a bit. Truly need an infusion of the Secret Holiness of Glamor here because so not. Have been doing revues! on this for a while. This needs a reboot
VPA 1: Operation Natasha, Phase 2.
WIW: Overcome Natasha’s stuckness. Move this forward
WTCW:Revue Mission goals and qualities. Look for successes. I think this is k=going to require some Structural Changes.
ICT: Being curious and playful. Taking this to the treehosue and: hum, Flail, breathe, dance, Gwish & Percepting. Journal on the above. And more movement of course.
This really resonated with me: “And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.”
It seemed so ridiculous, what I had asked for over the past two weeks it seemed, and yet, going out on a limb like that every week seemed to pay off in more clarifying thoughts, if nothing else. And that’s worth something. I mean do I really want it and if so, what might it look like. I didn’t get what I wanted last week, but I got hints of it or I was imagining things. And that’s party of play. I love that use the word “play” so much. It takes the seriousness out of all these conscious endeavors. That just lightens things up really well!
What I Want:
More social interaction and the motivation to just go
find it more around here.
Productive time.
Fun
Release from old pain unexpedectly triggered by being in a place I used to live when things were emotionally very difficult around family matters.
A sense that things are going to be OK and better than that even!
Some nice surprises
Some old D business finished up.
More discipline as something sacred.
Some sign I am on the right track with my art (I think I already got it though)
interpersonal connection when I need it the most.
More comfort with all this solitude I delivered myself to.
Thought and feeling choices.
Playing with the whole idea of playing with wants – playing with creating anew. Also took on challenges as mysteries last week and then forgot about it. Glad you are still at it, Havi. Otherwise challenges become something foreboding.
Qualities inside my wants:
supported, caring, visibility, comraderie
Ways this might work –
Getting to the ashtanga goddess, stepping up my practice so I’m feeling more open to my wants and able to take them on with more faith(?) Going to the b-day dinner of the friend who has forgotten me – just to get out and be clear about it with myself.
Making better use of all this solitude. Start setting up studio space and start working in it. Tutorials – how fun it will be to really get through it and know what I’m doing with my software.
Nothing much happened since last week other than I’ve been seeing some nice manly faces around here smiling back at me and I see sincere and kind eyes for a change. Clarity is coming along still.
@Kariel: In my experience, having to act happy (or even merely indifferent) about something crappy is so not a happy thing. Sending you warm wishes for grace.
Progress report: I sold a third poem, and have detailed feedback on another that’s close. I made it all the way up the hill without stopping once.
What I want: everything on last week’s list — but not necessarily this week. What I want specifically for this week: a wide-enough moat and screens on the windows
…and, silent retreat on the rest. Warm wishes to all.
mmm, gwishes! -holi colours and fun
-mad-eye moody levels of preparedness. constant vigilance! without any scary connotations.
-i want the superpowers of Ease and Grace
-evening out my bookends -feet! -sweetness and more sweetness -at least 8 types of love
Whitney: Holi colors! Lots of Holi-ness. Secret Holi-ness everywhere…
Sue T: sending lots of positive energy your way for that conversation.
The perfect simple solution to [silent retreat] that I just became aware of to appear.
“Fresh Tomato Layer Cake” – using pomodoros for things I have to do, combining with sweet layers of things I want to do. In equal proportions. Because, happily, very few of these things are iguanas.
“Second Childhood” – Playing in and with What Is.
Congruencing.
Retail therapy, whee! I don’t like to shop but it has to be done, so I’m going to go at it like “Wow and whee and golly gee whiz!”
The superpower of Wayfinding.
Qualities of the wants: fun, play, energy, rest, mindfulness, focus, sweetness, treasures, excitement, anticipation, hope, possibility.
Ways It Could Happen:
By magic. With ease.
Safely.
The Butler could help with some of it.
MrB could be really alert when he wakes up.
The car could go safely through the mess on the roads and not get stuck anywhere.
I’m playing with: Costumes, Compassing, and Conducting. Toys. Making lists. Sashaying, sidling, and stomping.
Good wishes to everyone’s asks.
What I Want:
The magical power of Quiet Awareness and Noticing
Operation CAKE CLUB
Operation Glowing Radical Awesome Training Internal Treasures, Uniting Deliciousness Everywhere
(And I need a sovereign faerie queen word for operation)
What I’m playing with:
Pausing (waves paws)
Noticing and noting
Compassing
I could ask here for faerie queen terms. I could take it to FB. I could ask a thesaurus (has the bonus of sounding like a big lizard. A bit literate lizard.)
Mechaieh, many warm thanks for what you said above. You’re right, it is tough when one’s expressions have to be out of line with one’s own perceptions and predictions! Makes the head spin a bit.
Congratulations on your poems. What lovely, affirming news!
Ooooh, I want to play with this too:
“I want to be a surfer without going in the water.”
As someone who really can’t swim, but always wanted to take surfing lessons, THIS just resonated. Floop, here I come!
(aka. the one formerly known as Robyn)
Hello week. Here we go.
What I want:
– An ease-filled visit with my family. (Including the huge 60th birthday party with every family friend, neighbour and high school teacher I knew growing up. As an HSP-introvert, this is so not my ideal social situation.)
– Ten minutes of writing time. Without interruptions.
– A calm, non-triggering plane flight. And if that can’t happen, the tools to deal with triggering when it happens.
– Happy dates with my yoga mat and giant bouncy ball.
– A productive, non-agressive session with [n].
– New music.
– Fix the bike (or better yet, find someone else to do it.)
– All of the sunshine.
– To move through THAT class at work with grace and patience.
Qualities inside these wants:
Safety. Calm. Peace. Acceptance. Self-nurturing. Crystal clear boundaries. The graceful mid-point between support and independence. (ie. holding out my paddle to help stabilize someone else’s canoe, without tipping over my own boat.)
WTCW:
Bail out the canoe.
Lighting the candles.
Giving permission.
Finding the soundtracks.
Braindrains.
I’ll play with:
Letting emotions be what they are without acting on them or judging them.
Warm spring breezes to all!
Hello, Gwednesday, and gwishers everywhere.
What I want: a few good questions!
Qualities inside the want: wisdom, insight, calm, connection, clarity.
Ways this could work: I can brainstorm in the pages of my journal. I can sleep on it. I can live the questions, and trust that they will find me.
I’m playing with: Mystery. Dreaming in the dark. Oh, and I suppose I’d also better play with all these monsters that seem to be hanging around…
The monogrammed bag with someone else’s name is cracking me up. I live in Maine near the LL Bean outlet that sells the monogrammed bags people decided they didn’t want. It’s A LOT of bags.
The bags are piled up in 18 foot canoes at the outlet store. It’s totally normal to see people pawing through for a bag that has a ‘good’ name. It can take a while!