Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I’m back!
Back in PDX.
Not traveling again for… oh, a week and a half.
But mainly: back here. And it is lovely. Missed you guys.
The hard stuff
Adjusting. I am not always good at this.
Transitions. Blah.
And it’s cold and I do not know where the flannel sheets are and merp.
That is the sound of me being too uncomfortable to whine. It’s like a mini-whine.
Doing a thing to make it all better and then regretting it.
Selma and I escaped the crazed leaf-blowers on our street to hide out in a favorite cafe and do some writing.
Picture me being all oh look I’m taking care of myself instead of just crying under the bed, what a very good thing.
But then our lovely refuge had inexplicably turned into HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) hell.
Loud and bleeping and jangly. Full of people. And all of them on their phones and in a hurry. Jumping, dodging, yelling, leaping. You think I exaggerate but no.
It was like a private circus of everything I hate.
The week of Appointments of Doom.
Not really.
But kind of.
Dentist. Pirate CPA. Old bank. New bank.
Plus I had to miss the amazing call that Pam Slim did for my Kitchen Table program. Not fair!
The usual conundrum.
Navigating that fine line between…
On the one hand: being okay with the fact that some people will not take initiative to get the help they say they want, no matter how much they’ve paid to get it and regardless of what you’re doing to support them in the process.
And on the other hand: establishing — in all aspects of your life — the kind of internal and external culture where people really understand that they need to take responsibility for their own experience.
And so they can do or not do as they like, knowing that it’s their trajectory and their stuff.
But they can’t put their not-getting-what-they-think-they-want on you.
Every time I think I’ve figured this one out completely, we’re in for a new round of it. Very interesting.
The good stuff
None of the hard was as horrible as it could have been.
The visit with our pirate CPA was quite heartening. It is a joy to have him on our ship.
He is wise and trustworthy and a total sweetheart, and that is such a reminder of how I want our company to be.
The dentist appointment was less torturous than what I had been dreading. Plus they gave me lemon lip balm.
And when I needed a moment, they gave me a moment. But they really gave me a moment. They turned out the lights and left me alone for about five minutes. Thank you.
Being home.
Home-cooked meals and freshly baked sourdough bread, courtesy of my gentleman friend and the Hoppy House yeasties.
Sitting with Selma on the couch in the kitchen (yes, it is a very good place for a couch) and catching up on the New Yorker, and listening to the rain and being happy.
Early to bed = heaven.
I think I was asleep by 8:30 almost every night this week.
Nine hours a night of glorrrrrrrrrious, uninterrupted sleep.
Spaciousness.
Got rid of a bunch of (mostly symbolic) things this week.
Including the bathing suit from KaDeWe that I bought recklessly with the very last of everything I had. It still looks good but it is made of regret and pain and fear, and I do not want it in my life anymore.
So all that clearing out was lovely. And I did some rearranging at the Playground (which will have its own website soon), and yay.
Finally got around to announcing the Sacramento workshop.
Which I’d meant to do for weeks but completely slipped my mind about fourteen different times.
It filled completely in under two days, and now I don’t have to feel like an idiot for forgetting to tell people about it.
(You can get on a waiting list in case someone cancels, but given the rows of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in the orders, I kind of doubt that’s going to happen.)
Coming up next will be a day of wish-navigating in Portland. I will explain what that is soon. Assume for now that it will be both ridiculous and amazing.
Stuff I’m reading, appreciating, think you would like.
First I have to tell you that Laura finally opened her shop and is having a sale and this is the last day for it.
Ohmygod. The slippers. I cannot wait until mine arrive. And the pictures and the gorgeous. LOVE. She’s @saltylaura on Twitter.
Then Amy started making permission slips. Literally. I mean, they’re slips. Like this one named Dorothy. I may have to marry her. She’s @barefootphoenix on Twitter.
And Walt! He is a stand up guy. And he’s biggifying. At his own perfect pace. I love this.
Also I can’t decide what picture I will choose if I win the contest so I’ll probably have to end up getting all of them. That’s @walterhawn.
Everything Maryann is saying. Read it. Twice. It’s like she really truly gets all the things I’m trying to teach in my life. Like this:
You can’t biggify without your body being a partner.
Also I will love her forever for the phrase: “I was off getting biggified, as one does”. Hilarious. She’s @maryanndevine.
And if you write recommendation letters or might ever need one written for you, please read this.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
The Red Wig Of Chickening.
Because the wig deserves its own band. And yes, they opened for Grease Scallions once. But it’s really just one guy.
And some of the lovely presents that arrived this week.
I have been avoiding the post office.
But. We got a giant rainbow hammock from @herchuckness (hooray!) and a bunch of books.
And a silly hat and a sock monkey. So life is good.
And an announcement!
We just had two people who had to duck out of the Great Ducking Out! But they are giving their seats as stowawayship scholarships (they pay for you to go now, you pay for someone else to go next year).
One is for the Thanksgiving Day itself. Come now without paying. Pay the tuition ($90) within a year so the next person gets to do it.
The other is for the full Rally. It’s this Tuesday evening through Friday morning. Same deal. You come now. You pay the $300 within a year.
I know the page says the program is full (because it was), but email the First Mate if you want one of these.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.
And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
Also: yes. Merp and the yeasties. Just one guy.
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I do love me some yeasties. I’m sure Hoppy House’s are swell.
The hard: Not enough time with my partner. Very very tired. Feeling a bit stuck on how to biggify. Said no to a cool opportunity to focus on something else.
The good: Best friend in all the land is here. She’s at a life crossroads and is going to let me coach her on the figuring out of things. Other old friend will also be here. Reunion! Also, meeting great people. Writing is becoming a natural almost-daily practice. By saying no to that one opportunity, I get to pour my love into my main focus. Feeling really good about that. And I’m almost certain that the other opportunity will be there when I’m ready. Also, I love it when friends get my letters in the mail and love them.
The hard: Caffeine withdrawl. Day 2 headache was a dull pain I could deal with when I had some tylenol in the system. Day 3 headache woke me up at 6am and was debilitating!!! I did not suffer more than an hour and then I went straight to the coffee pot and tylenol container too. Now I feel… jittery because I had coffee after a few days of NOT, self-loathing because I didn’t get through the HARD. The headache is gone but I traded it for anxiety.
Advice? Help? Not sure what to do. I needed the coffee but when I had it my body wasn’t happy with it either.
The good: I have been sugar-free for 6 days and I did get through those cravings so far. I feel great about that. My body feels great about that.
Another good: Closing many doors this month. Lots of doors! A thesis. A contract I did not want to renew. The relationships with others that go with contracts. The first few were hard and then I sorta got good at it. Proud of myself.
Merp and the Yeasties — now *that* is a fake band name.
This week’s hard:
– Early week lack of urgency means lots of catch-up this afternoon. Hoping I’m not getting in the habit of being able to work only when in overwhelm mode.
– Project delays, not on my part.
This week’s good:
– Amazingly fun class last Sunday that was really more like a playdate.
– I finally ordered my kiln, an embarrassingly long time after my husband told me to order one for my birthday present. It came yesterday and I’m excited to try it out this weekend.
– New editing client and a huge project that is finally here. There’s a lot of work and tight turnarounds, but it’s different and interesting and just the thing to fill that space before the holidays.
– Enamels! Oh, they are so fun to work with!
– A couple of custom orders this week, one from right here in Pirate World. Thank you!
Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
Havi, so that’s where my sleep this week went! I was wondering. But it’s Friday, yay chicken, here go I…
The hard:
-Sleep? Sleep! I miss you still. Please come back. I do not like this getting a second wind at 9:30 thing.
-One of my favorite professors died from cancer this week. Heartbreak. He was such a wonderful person. He and his wife also lost one of their young daughters a few years ago, and now the family is going through this too… just so sad.
-Being behind. Self-induced panic. Etc. Blech.
The good:
-My boss being very nice about the being thrown off by the sad news.
-Having work, feeling like I’m being useful.
-Little fidgety knitting projects (lacy bracelets at the moment). Just what I needed.
-Vast improvement in the weather. We’re down into high 70’s now. Could still do with a few degrees cooler, but I am increasingly confident that we’ll get there.
-Restocking my freezer this weekend after cleaning it out this week. Bread, mini-pizzas, ice cream… glorious.
Hugs for everybody and happy weekend!
Heather, if you’re asking for advice (you seem to be), I would say give your body time to learn what not-coffee feels like. Maybe it just needs a little more time. It sounds like you’re making some big changes, good on you.
My hard stuff this week: The boyfriend had one of his fainting fits in the swimming pool and freaked out the lifeguards. He was fine, he just needs a liedown when that happens, but they were worried and a bit lectury. Also, this pointed out rather painfully how out of shape he is.
I broke the sleeps. My precious pattern. The thing that keeps me from randomly running out of juice in the middle of the day. Must… fix…
Good: Had fun drawing monsters for people. Did important thinking about my freelancing business and my blog. Went swimming for the first time since adulthood. It was great! even with the fainting.
Hugs for the hard, cheers for the good everyone.
Hooray for things not being so bad and for being home.
The hard stuff
-It’s cold.
-Deadlines
-Dissertation Tutor moving to Germany in December. only getting 8 weeks help, not 22. As if dissertations are easy to begin with.
-Had so many loose ends this week I hid. And today, I’m having to tie them up.
-Minor epiphanies that are hard to implement into real life but are there enough so you see all the flaws.
The good stuff
-Nearly all threads are tied.
-I’m listening to calm zen music and the house is tidy.
-Becoming a fangirl for an evening when I went to see Seth Lakeman play… “he’s okay, i’ll go with you” turned into “omg i got his autograph and a hug and i lovvvveee himmmm”
-Dissertation meeting over. Emails replied to. I kind of know what I’m doing. Almost.
-Taught two people some of level 1 ShivaNata arms this week. maybe I could teach, afterall.
Have an utterly glorrrrious weekend. I’m going to buy The Red Wig Of Chickening’s new EP some time!
I think I’ve been merping a bit myself this week. Also, gnurf is the noise that my daughter and I use to mean “I didn’t really want to be awake yet, but here we are. I guess.”
Hard stuff:
–Suddenly laryngitis this morning. Sob.
–Making preparations for houseguests this weekend. This has involved, among other things, a late night of de-cluttering and extra dish-washing to keep up with all the baking that’s been going on. (Although it’s hard to be too sorry for myself, given that the house has been filling up with cake, pies, and loaves of bread, to say nothing of all the delectable aromas…)
–My parents visited last weekend, and I wish it had gone better. It wasn’t bad; I just wish it had been better.
–Having trouble finding refills for my favorite pen. Am I going to have to bite the bullet and start ordering them online? Bah.
Good stuff:
–Feeling very grounded in my work with clients. The performance anxiety that I sometimes get (and used to get far more often) has been completely absent this week.
–Asking for what I need from my nearest and dearest, being very clear and calm about it, and getting excellent results.
–Bicycle shopping! It’s going to take a while to save up for this, but I got to test-drive a few different models, and am getting an increasingly clear sense of what I’m looking for in a new bike.
–Beautiful, peaceful, loving moments with my sweeties and my daughter.
–Lots of journaling, doodling and scribbling, and being in love with it all. Maybe I should start calling my journal Selma. Or no, not Selma, something else, because there is only one Selma. Still, it (along with all its sister volumes, in their turn) is a constant companion and a deep comfort.
Wonderful weekend wishes to all of you!
Hey Heather, giving up caffeine AND sugar at the same time? Whoa baby; that’s a lot! Be patient with yourself. I’ve heard that days 1-10 are the hardest when you’re breaking a habit…and that it takes a good 21 days for a new habit to “stick.” Who knows whether that’s absolutely true, but it’s worth pondering.
So, chickening:
Hard:
–transitions between project still clunky, with much slipping of gears
–took a nasty spill on a slick stone walk. Cracked my head as part of it. Oh, the anxiety as well as the bruising.
–dealing with the beastly editorial project.
–cranky doctors are taking too long to get back to me for said beastly editorial project. Deadlines, people.
Good:
–am still alive, thank you, Natasha Richardson.
–the father-in-law is flying up from LA rather than driving, which means he will avoid the ultra-nasty weather that is headed our way.
–decided on menu for our non-traditional Thanksgiving dinner, which will be fabulous. I can’t wait to cook it!
–got wonderful haircut from my wonderful, charming, and so incredibly interesting hairdresser
And a good weekend to all….
Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp. (I think that needs to be a thought balloon floating over my head. The furrow in my brow seems to invite discussion rather than people patting me on said head and saying, “It will be okay, pet.”)
Hard:
* Sisyphean obligations
* Having to ask for an extension
* Asthma creeping back in on the heels of a cold
Good:
* I like what-all I do when I’m not freaked out by the Sisypheanity or the spectres of incoming shoes
* My sweetie smirking at the sight of my stripey socks. (I generally go barefoot or drab, so deviations from my habit = cheap amusement.)
Wishing everyone help and hugs and flannel-cushioned goodness.
Thanks for the sweet comments, they help my poor head. I’ve done the sugar before so I kind of remember what that was like but I think I probably compensated with coffee those times! When I’ve given up sugar it was to detox from over-doing it (halloween case-in-point).
I just spent the last 30 minutes breathing slow. During that time I recognized that I’ve been maintaining a lot of stress and change lately- so much that I don’t even tell people about it because they look at me funny. Is this another time I just took on too much or should I go through the hard because it will be worth it? Sometimes I’m all about incremental change (surgery recovery) and for other things I like to rip that bandaid right off (sugar)… not sure about this one.
Maybe I should just nap.
Much love to all the hards out there this week and I celebrate for all the good things.
Hello chickeneers, if you are all there it must be Friday.
The hard:
– Stupid pattern of mutual annoyance when one certain subject comes up between me husband.
– Feeling a bit disorganized at work, procrastinating certain things.
– Scared of the workload that is looming on the horizons of January, February, March.
The good:
– Husband around, he could be with me on two evenings this week for things that meant a lot to me.
– More giving and receiving.
– Finishing the biggest part of a freelance job.
– Perspectives.
Have a wonderful weekend, hugs for the hard and happy smiles for the good!
I assumed Merp and the Yeasties was a band name too. Of course it’s just one guy.
The hard:
– Meeting with supervisor, who was all “doom doom doom” about how much work I’ve been missing because of my migraines. Not sure what she expects me to do about it. Go to work and sleep on the floor all day, just so I’m there? Adding more stress to my life does not help migraines stop.
– Supervisor piling more work on top of me, after complaining about how I’m not getting enough done because I’m hardly ever there. Some of what she wants is actually impossible. More stress.
The good:
+ I hate my job so much that the thought of being fired doesn’t scare me at all.
+ I got to pet a kangaroo last night at the public library, where they had a guy bring some animals from a local “creature conservancy”. Got to touch a 2 toed sloth, a gila monster, and an alligator too. The kangaroo seemed to enjoy it though, unlike the others, who were like “whatever.” She was really friendly, and adorable! And the sloth was fascinating!
+ My orders are really picking up! Yay! I think if I can get a couple more wholesale customers I’ll be able to quit the day job.
The Hard:
– My living situation is still awful, we’ve got our shower back but now don’t have a washing machine, and even though I’m physically safe, I *feel* unsafe, so the stress is affecting my health.
But. I might have chance to move (And to live with a friend!) which leads onto the next hard:
– I’m still saying “might”, even though we’re at the point of application paperwork and it’s clear that even if we don’t get *this* flat, we’re still going to be moving together. And yet. I’m wondering who on earth would be crazy enough to want to live with me??? She’s a good, lovely person, why would she want to put up with me and my baggage?
– Money talk. Lots of money talk. And paperwork.
– Being told to “Just try harder” by people paid by the government to make us feel bad about not having a job.
– Struggling to trust that yes, people want to do things for me, nice things, even if they seem like a big ask to me.
The good! There is good!:
+ The possible/probably moving.
+ A friend doing a *huge* favour for me that will enable the above.
+ Lots of knitting. Keeps me sane.
+ Eating patterns settling down, which makes me less anxious and is physically healthier for me.
So. I need to work on accepting that sometimes things go right in my life. I need to enter into negotiations with my inner 14 year old – he’s much better than me at dealing with uncertain situations, and getting things done. I need him to teach me!
What a week! I am so ready for a early night. So…
The hard:
– some moments of real despondency – in all cases immediately followed by things go far better than I thought they would
– still the hormonal yikes
– managed to freeze my shoulder muscle – very frustrating day of trying to type and work and being in so much pain
– night of incredibly interrupted sleep after eating some crazy food additives – however totally worth it!
The good:
– things suddenly going well when they looked 🙁
– exploring curiosity (yeah, sounds weird I know, but totally aweseom)
– getting a job interview for the job I really, really want. And getting such wonderful support from people I work with now.
– amazing yoga class – great teacher, lovely place, good atmosphere, nice non-mad fellow students
– coming home tonight to find a delicious dinner cooked for me
– a fantastic reunion dinner with friends, really incredible – I’m so lucky to have them
– general feeling of appreciating what I have
Yay – all in all pretty damn good, despite the stressful bits. Hope you all have lovely weekends.
Ahem.
The Hard.
-Over.Whelmed.
-Tripping over a whole bunch of previously undiscovered anxiety bombs OhNoOhNoOMGKaBOOMcollapse
-The house messy level has nearly reached the point it could star in it’s own graphic novel: The House That Ate Everything!
-Money. Nuff said.
-Stressing myself as I work on the networking thing. eep and merp and yarp.
The Good:
– Inspiration! The Habit Habitat post<3
– I wrote a sales/offering page thing. And published it! And survived!
– Within 2 minutes of publishing said sales page, I got an excited commission inquiry. YAY
– Even though the reaching out to people is stressful, I am loving the people themselves. Such awesome.
– A Simone Bernhard HAT!
– Learning needle felting. On rocks. Serious absurd fun.
– Getting new pens, new paper and circus swag! yippee!
So life is stress, but with promise. It's not a bad place to be!
The Hard.
– weird money stuff keeps creeping into my head. Even though I know what to do with it when it gets there, I still wish it would stay away.
– not enough clients. yet.again. I know they are coming.
– feeling like nothing I’m doing is working. Or like it’s too little too late.
The Good.
– persevering and marching forth despite feeling like nothing is working.
– clean house, clean dishes, clean clothes.
– hanging out with friends 2 nights in a row.
– being able to walk next to the ocean every single day
– have scheduled a day of Planning for 2011 with colleagues that will involve giant post it notes, markers, big ideas and champagne at the end!
– having a good handle on the numbers of my biz, even if the numbers are lower than I’d like.
– rice and garlic shrimp in a bowl.
The hard:
Someone threw a shoe at me. Well maybe. I know there was shoe-throwing, I do not know for sure that it was directed at me but I strongly suspect it was. And now I feel weird & icky and don’t know what, if anything, to do about it
My son got sick again – I am a sad and worried mamma
Not enough sleep + not eating properly + a 19 hr day + serious family stress = a health crash & me feeling like a fragile little flower
The Good
My best friend was here and we had lots of great chats and just hanging out in companionable silence
Got to meet up with another old friend who I hadn’t seen since last year (where does the time go?)
Another old friend found me on Facebook, I thought he’d stopped talking to me, so that was good
I’m going to be speaking at a conference in March – woohoo, much excitement
I did a cool audio interview for the Customer Love site
Finally starting to find my way with the whole scary-scary newsletter issue
My son is not feeling as bad as he was earlier in the week & I’m cautiously hopeful that things may not be as dire as they seemed at first
So, I had the flu 2 weeks ago, was busy catching up from having the flu last week, and this week I have the flu again. Not on, body, wtf. I’ve been sleeping well and trying to balance everything else and I do not appreciate this sudden descent into the olden times when I’d be sick off and on all winter.
The Hard:
– Sick. Busy. Sick. Confused as to the source of all this sick.
– Stressed about money and deadlines because of the sick.
– Didn’t put even a dollar in my hoped-for Ducking Out fund, so will be home next week w/no plans.
– Cat barf. Sigh.
– Had to cancel some holiday treat plans this week because of the sick.
The Good:
+ NaNoWriMo is doing really well, I spent all last weekend writing happily away in my cave and am pleased with the results.
+ Cuddly cats.
+ Clean laundry.
+ Tylenol.
+ Cthulhu Coloring Book sales, yay!
+ Holiday card commission, yay!
Wow. Does your dentist do interstate house calls? Cuz yeah…I’ve been neglecting the part of my life that involves dentistry for…well, pretty much forever.
Reading through all the hard and good, I found myself nodding over and over again. Hugs and cheers, chickeneers…
Goods of the week:
-I took my car in for an oil change and was not talked down to, experienced no annoying upsell attempts and came away with exactly what I wanted. I wore my sovereignty boots of kickassness for dealing with car people, and didn’t even need them.
-An unexpected windfall, which led to making a decision about how to use it. And I ordered a spinning wheel. Which is a huge yay for me on so many levels. (Hi, you-can’t-spend-money-on-yourself monster! Oh, and hello there, if-you-spend-the-money-bad-things-will-happen.)
Hello! I haven’t chickened in MONTHS. I intend to restart.
This week’s hard:
Jetlag. OOF.
Money worries.
Avoidance mode, compounding the money worries.
My new volunteering role being boring and having occasional moments of random stress.
It’s COLD. And DARK. I hate winter.
This week’s good:
Getting some clarity on what I want.
Getting lots of work done on my baby biz.
Harry Potter tonight! (It was awesome.) And seeing the girls, including a friend who’s back from Cuba for a few weeks, laughing a lot, and generally having fun.
Getting over the jetlag!
Surviving my week of volunteer work!
More + points than – overall, I think. I count this a good week!
I am so glad the yeasties were for bread and not for, well, you know. 🙂
It’s Friday already?!?
Hard:
DH not hearing about the job he interviewed for last week, and then the company putting a quarter page ad in our local free bi-weekly paper (he interviewed with a recruiter, the ad is directly from the company). Annoying. And frustrating.
Not being able to use my free coffee on Tuesday the day of rainrainrain because the power outage at the coffee shop the night before fried the computers.
Feeling frantic about December. What are we going to do? How will I raise teh monies? What small thing can I make that I will like to make *and* will sell? While wanting to work on my big art and freezing up and basically getting nothing done.
Recovery from my surgical procedure last Friday. Just because I forgot it had only been three days on Monday when it felt like I was never going to get back to normal.
Waking up almost every morning this week at around 6am when I could’ve slept until at least 8am because our old dog has taken to running in her sleep (right next to a wall so you hear her nails running along the wall).
Good:
All three pieces I submitted to Materials Hard & Soft in Denton Texas were accepted! My gamble paid off 😀 (entered this show instead of Quilt National)
Two of the pieces I sent to San Jose Museum of Quilts and Textiles sold.
A job came open at the local historical society and museum and my friend knows the people on the board and said she would write me a letter of recommendation. It’s part time and pays very well, so I could make my big art.
Extra baking for Donkey because it is finals week and everyone is nervous eating 😉
A second box of wonderful thready goodness arrived from Kreinik today. You all probably heard the squee when I opened the box 😉
Doctor Who, Season 5 from Netflix so the whole family could watch it (I have digital copy on my laptop already but no cord to the tv).
Free chai today instead. And nice company and conversation while drinking it.
Happy weekend, y’all!
Ugh. Another Friday. I used to like Fridays, but not when they mean I’m in class all weekend. I do like the “chicken” part of Friday just to be clear!
The Hard:
– Crazy, impossible workload got much worse with an email from a research client late last Friday. Meltdown ensued.
– Finding myself excluded from the “group” in my class. Sigh. Feeling like I’m back in high school again. Just the names have changed. Behavior patterns have not.
– Losing a favorite resident – she was like a grandmother to me. 5 years of this and it doesn’t ever get any easier.
The Good:
+ That the favorite resident was in my life for almost 4 years. Her family is pretty special too. Glad I got to know them.
+ Supportive boss when I had my meltdown. Figured out a plan of attack for the research client.
+ Supportive spouse who has been way more patient than I would have ever been if the tables were turned.
+ Our Kitties – they can always make me smile no matter how long and crappy the day has been
+ Getting much more proficient with statistics software and the concepts in general. Guess that is what happens when you are forced to spend about 40 hours in the past week buried in the data.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, no matter how you choose to spend the day.
Missed last week because of Flying Leap Number 1. Which was fabulous and unexpectedly unleashed my dancing shoes. Who knew?
So the hard: exhausted. Technically this is a Saturday Chicken.
and sleep? all night? please?
barn door still flapping in the breeze.
have openings for clients and judge myself for not having a Totally Full Practice. ™
away two weekends in a ROW. From my SWEETIE. Ugh.
getting a cold.
The good: ohh Flying Leap that went well! May this weekend go as well or better.
car made it to my destination in one piece.
I have let go of the damn barn door. Let it flap. I have built a solarium in the barn and we have lovely sunny tea on a garden table.
so excited. I have decided to expand my practice. So.
(1) I have openings! For clients! Which means I can help a few more people, either with their lives and finding the place that goes “click” in their hearts…or with their sexualities, with exploring and figuring out and adventuring around bodies and desires and finding or re-finding the fun exciting good bits. The Flying Leap helped me get for real that telling people what I do is not imposing, it is helping people. .whew.
(2) I have in-person openings, too! For transformational work that combines reiki and coaching for maximum change potential. You will FLY. Come see me and hang on to your hat! Or organize a party/pay for the travel and I can come to you. This was a kind of work that told me it should happen this week– where all good ideas come, while I was in the shower. Yay. Yay it talking, yay me listening.
taking care of myself this morning.
getting some awkward worked out.
fabulous hotel room that totally feels like I could live here for weeks if necessary.
met some cool people .already.
getting very helpful help on my website.
yay good chickens. Looks like it is a good week after all.
Ooooo ze good and ze hard pumpkin pies!
The rotten and stinky
cubicle cubicle cubicle.
i am the weirdo in the box. being around peeps who talk about stuff that turns me off (fur coats, fashion, how much money SW1 has) makes me act even weirder than i really am. i get tongued tied, cant think straight, smiling and glee does not always come so easy to me on these days.
plus my hair sucks and i cant seem to find work clothes that cover up the fact that i dont wanna do this anymore. i look a bit of a mess. hmmm.
not great for my confidence really (all the above) and so much wishing-i-was-not-there this week and last week too.
Tired of feeling tired.
Wishing i wanted to eat better at the mo and exercise more. I actually have gym membership for godsake.
Too many ideas about products.
Lots of fears about being an expert. Not being an expert. Not being original enough. Guilt triggered big time. Lots of guilt. Bastard little monsters talking to me right?
The Good La La
meditation stuff – rawks. its the best bubble ive got so lots of crap bounces off me, even if this week my bubble has not felt sturdy enough for the amount of eeyuu in my space.
sleeping a lot better again. i shouted at the universe that not sleeping was Not keeping me safe and…bizarre…it worked!
wrote a meditation for people who don’t feel totally safe in the world, ze universe, themselves. im scared about this. but im excited too! there is movement and thats good.
lots of ideas about products.
met one of the film makers who helped create the british film industry whilst on ze job in the cubicle. i am writing a small film, ive been away from creatives for years – so this felt big. suddenly my brain and my heart went wowwwwww and weeeeeeeeee and ohhhh myyyy goddd!
knowing that i am going to create products even if i have lots of fears around it.
a sense that i am gonna do this thing. even if i dont know how!
happy that i have a session booked with Hiro and Larisa. support is good!
loving Goddess Leonie’s circles and practical down to earth advice. My IT gremlins are being chomped through as a result. They are gradually being dispersed. Slowly, slowlyyy.
Nice to be here with us chickens.
The Hard:
Don’t like the dark and the cold and knowing it’s only going to get darker and colder for awhile.
Feeling like I’m always a little bit sick, or getting sick- that’s what working with lots of really little ones does, I guess. Every week there’s at least two different viruses going around my class. After all these years, while I don’t get knocked out by most of them (thank you immune system), I still feel mildly cruddy lots of the time.
Not liking Ad Man – still loving – just not wanting to be around him very much these days. Creates tension.
Weekends at other peoples’ homes – a necessity to keep relationships going (even though I go much less than I did before). Feel like I need a day to recoup (which I don’t get) when I get back.
The Good
Making progress with the group dynamics in my class.
Love my teaching partner.
Grown children (OMG can’t believe they are ADULTS and we like each other too) coming home.
Earrings and a necklace too.From right here – who knew?Perfect.
Student from last year, brought me a new tea cause he remembered how much I like it -awwww.
Making progress on gift book for sisters 60th – first time I am making one as a gift.
The Hard
This entire week. Seriously. Full of suck and darkness and gloom and emotional crashes and so much hurt.
Everyone else’s pain triggering my own.
The Good
My partner is incredibly, wonderfully kind and gentle and supportive when I hit this stage of autumn. I love him so very much.
I outlined two novels! This is a Huge Thing for me, ’cause I think this is only the second and third times I’ve had a full outline (despite writing a looot of books).
My puppy just hopped onto the couch and curled up with the cat (who is twice her size and just as fluffy).