Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Friday? Friday! How surreal is that?
I wasn’t sure whether this week would end with me having to be peeled off the floor or if it would all kind of work out in the end.
And here we are. No peeling necessary, astonishingly.
Though I do plan to spend this weekend practicing Pineapple Upside Down Days, which is my new thing. Anyway. FRIDAY!
The hard stuff
Oh, man. I need an Emergency Vacation so badly it’s ridiculous.
Is it really only February? Not June?!
Because I’m exhausted.
Kinda fell apart this week.
Monday.
Also Wednesday.
But especially Monday. Monday was bleaaaaaaaaaaargh and stupid and if it had been a person I would have kicked it in the shins.
Giant fight with someone I love.
That’s no fun.
Tried to take time off and made a giant mess of it.
The usual.
Also much hiding.
Gaaaaaaah. More repairs.
The heating system at the Playground needs to be completely replaced.
Because there isn’t enough going on.
I’m just going to have to work from home for a while and hope that everything is in place for the Shiva Nata teacher training coming up.
Tax stuff.
So far the good bits and the crappy bits of having my pirate ship be a non-evil corporation are pretty much even.
Okay. That’s not true. The good outweighs the crappy by a quite a bit.
But all I can think about now is the giant headache of doom (not a band).
And that’s with an amazing bookkeeper (we love you, Jennifer!), a dedicated Pirate CPA and also Randy the Treasure Guy to advise us.
Trying to set things up so that next year is smoother sailing, and doing that kind of systems thinking while in burnout mode is never a good idea.
The good stuff
We’re skating against the Detroit Derby Girls tonight!
Not me, of course. I’m just there to cheer.
But the bad-ass Wheels of Justice, our all-star travel team — including five former GNR girls (that’s the team we sponsor). I’ve been watching these ladies skate oer the past four seasons, and wow.
This is going to be one hell of a fun bout.
I’m crazy about Detroit, but I’ll be losing my voice for our ladies in purple.
Roller Derby! Oh, how I have missed you.
Also, Detroit has a skater called Whistler Smother. This makes me so gleefully happy I can hardly contain myself.
All the good things about being stalled.
You wouldn’t think there are any, but actually there are all sorts of great things coming out of my current burn-out phase.
I may have to write about this next week.
I did a thing that scared me, but I did it in a way that didn’t scare me.
And now it feels really good.
So yay me. Ten thousand sparklepoints.
Crayons! And books. Yay.
I bought myself a box of sixty four crayons and have been coloring all week.
This is a marvelous thing.
Also we went on a glorrrrrrious excursion to Powell’s, and I have books. Books make everything better.
It worked!
Using all the information I gathered for the Book of Me at the last Rally (Rally!), I was able to de-pile a massive pile of iguanas and doom this week.
I just followed what the Book of Me said to do, and it was the least stressful de-piling that has ever happened. In fact, I kind of enjoyed myself.
My mind. It is exploding.
Obviously I knew all that stuff we did was super useful, but I hadn’t realized how quickly having that chapter would change everything.
Friends! And getting help from friends.
Got some excellent advice from Hiro on how to experiment with this whole crazy “time off” thing.
And then my beloved Cairene came to the Playground and we worked on the kind of structures that need to be in place for me to become the kind of person who doesn’t get burnt out.
Feeling much more hopeful about everything.
Oh, and then when I had a messy, sticky, lost and confused Wednesday, Hiro gave me the best present in the entire world, both because it was the best present in the entire world and also because she told me exactly what to do with it and how.
And when you’re in that place of not-knowing-what-you-need, having someone just send you in the right direction and knowing that it’s all taken care of is just delightful.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band comes to you courtesy of the wonderful @leannich.
Abrasive Pheasant
She says: “They’re kind of folky steampunk — and actually I hear it’s just one guy.”
Yes!
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.
And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
Follow
Crayons and books! The best stuff in life, methinks.
hard shtuff:
– having my own mini eco-system grow around my sweet lips this week. Kind of fascinating though.
– generally being tired & slightly ill from lack of sleep due to heat & humidity.
good shtuff:
– wandering into the haze and coming out with a small magic light thing that clears enough space just ahead of me to find a path that suits me.
– iku wholefoods & their happy staff.
– cleaned something I’ve been avoiding cleaning & learned that I kind of like the transformative aspects cleaning- getting out the dirt, making it fresh and sparkling. Note- this does not mean I will clean your house for you. Sorry 🙂
Ooh, I’m first! Not competitive or anything, no.
The hard:
–Hmm, same as last week. Money worries. Am I bad because I’m not making enough? Letting people down? What to do?
–Feet continuing to hurt in the swimming. At least they stop afterwards.
–Spent several days feeling lost, scared, and not confident about anything
The good:
–Large completely unexpected gift coming from parents-in-law. Wow.
–More good client sessions. And remembering how much I love writing handouts.
–I’m liking my new “This Week” computer mindmap, with large green DONE labels.
–Just tonight, I was slogging into the beginning of my current index. Had a little breakthrough and realized I could write a blog post about it (new “Inside an Indexer’s Brain” series). And the act of doing that suddenly brought back my confidence—not just about indexing, but about money, teaching my first teleclass tomorrow, and all the other miscellaneous things I was feeling not-confident about. I think it’s because I created something.
–Learning our new mixer. Me and two men, one patiently explaining a techy thing to beginners without any condescension or obfuscation, the other being willing to say when he didn’t understand something. And I made a picture of the board and drew notes all over it. We all got points!
–Some truly wonderful music-making.
Oops, guess I wasn’t first. Erin, you were meant to be first! I love your magic light thing!!
@dmstauber *grins* danke! And I liked your post on indexing- sounds like it is like a satisfying detective investigation, where you wrap up all the word clues together to make something meaningful.
Hmm,
Hard:
Earache. Ow. Sinus pain. Red nose.
Feeling avoidy around taxes and mail. But I have been making myself get the mail every day and then giving myself points for it every night. And 4 boxes of new contact lenses were in the mail today!
Good:
Fun friends that I love.
Delivery of organic fruits & veggies means not leaving the house for 3 days and still having bananas and kiwis and farm eggs and broccoli.
Clients and money. Woot.
New sofa being delivered today.
Pseudoephedrine. If I have to show ID to get it, it must be good.
64 colors. Go *you*.
oxo C
Havi, much love. Much much love.
The hard:
My pet rat dying.
Fear! So much fear!
Really tough confrontations with people I love. FEAR!
Not behaving myself as well as I would have liked in said confrontations.
Emotional exhaustion.
Procrastination. Again.
Not showering for way too long and feeling filthy and my monsters telling me exactly what they thought about that.
Not getting to start my new drugs this weekend after all.
New drugs cause weight gain. I have eating disorder history.
The good:
Having the courage to have really tough confrontations with people I love, and getting modest results.
Forgiveness.
Learning that when I’m emotionally exhausted and terrified of everyone and everything, what I need to do is SLEEP. A lot. No, more than that. Miraculous improvement.
Learning to think of my self-destructive parts as flying monkeys and my scared parts as a small pink chihuahua.
MANY other learnings about myself.
Friends giving me food!
Best beginning to a psych report ever: ‘Patient presented as well-kempt and well maintained.’ Pride! It’s like getting a good school report.
Quaker meeting! Quakers are lovely.
Job counselling that ended with me being asked to *find desktop wallpaper of a dog doing assertive body language*.
Realising that instead of being ‘assertive’ (which smacks to me of fakeness and corporate training courses) I can talk about being ‘The Pup To Choose’! Metaphor mouse!
Crayons sound lovely. I think it’s just something in the air this week.
Hard:
Car acted up. Again. $500 repair to the electrical system. Found out we were thisclose to the car catching fire.
Meltdown from car acting up before we knew what the problem was. It was just too much for my little brain to take.
Hormones. Still. Again. Contributed to the meltdown. And Teh Hungry. Seriously, body, how much do you need to eat this week?
Good:
The Snowmageddon totally missed us. We had rain in our corner of the state.
Chocolate Almond Milk helps a lot with Teh Hungry. And it’s on super sale this week!
The car acted up so it wouldn’t catch fire.
We were able to make the car repair payment.
I painted valentines and had a blast coloring them in with Portfolio Oil Pastels and Caran d’Ache crayons (told you crayons were going around this week)
I got to spend some time with my Wacky Sidekick. Fun!
I posted three times to my new blog this week. Yay!
I updated my Etsy shop this week, also Yay! 🙂
Izzy and I had a blast making butter with Snowville Creamery last weekend, and now he’s all about the homemade butter. Don’t tell the others, but he’s my favorite 😉
Experimental stitched art worked. Oh, and photo transfers of other art to stitch. I am very excited about my work again. Good good good.
Hugs to all who want them!
Friday, and chicken! Doesn’t get much better! 🙂
Good this week:
+ I spent Monday and Tuesday at a lovely little beachfront cottage with one of my very best friends. There was sun! Low tide both mornings, and we walked halfway out into the bay, past flocks of gulls and bobbing ducks, to the edge of hissing waves. I feel restored.
+ Had rich, delicious conversations with Molly Gordon, my dearest Havi, and a couple of other women friends. And I met a new friend this week.
+ 65 people signed up for my free call next week!
+ Beloved clients creating wonderful things in their lives and businesses.
+ Feels like Spring is slipping through the cracks of winter.
Nothing really hard to report this week.
Hugs for everyone’s hard, and celebrating the good with you. Happy weekend, all…
Love, Hiro
Abrasive Pheasant? Okay, I’m game!
Hard:
–Picked up my car from the shop, only to discover that there are still problems that must have been missed. It feels all right, looks great, but is leaking some kind of fluid, and the brake warning lights are on. Not something to shrug off, so back to the shop it goes.
–Wanting to play hooky from certain things, and not quite able to give myself permission to do so.
–A few sad moments of misunderstanding.
–Worries over a work situation.
Good:
–The worrisome work situation did not blow up in my face the way I feared it might. Super-duper grateful for that!
—Candide. Hell Week has been heaven, at least for me. The first performance is tonight, and then there will be five more! Yippee!
–Much love and support from the family.
–A lovely compliment from a fellow singer.
–Overcoming internal shyness and giving compliments to cast members whose work I especially admire and appreciate. It feels good!
Offering a round of virtual beverages-of-choice, with a side order of sparklepoints!
This week has… gone by very fast.
The hard:
– damaging my hip AGAIN yesterday at a thing that was supposed to be fun and wasn’t, even before I hurt myself.
– partner announcing, 2 days back after holiday, that the New Work Hours (i.e. fewer of them) plan wasn’t going to work after all. Struggling with my upset/irritation/fury around that.
– being SO VERY TIRED
– no house showing up that even might make our short-list for housing
– the book being really tough to work on and freaking me out.
The good:
– the dog being v well-behaved in the park all week!
– going climbing again
– reconnecting with a lovely friend
– finding out some stuff about one of my monsters, and that enabling me to do some work on the Book & feel positive about it and not freaked-out
@Kathleen Avins — Break a leg!
_____
Quick chicken!
The hard this week:
-Monday, the last day at work before retirement. Two and a half semi-meltdowns.
-The wait to find out if my paperwork made it through the snowstorm.
The good:
+Got most everything done on the weekend before Monday.
+Every day since Monday!
+Not hardly any ice in this week’s storm.
+Meeting work acquantances for a happy hour and finding opportunities to be real friends.
+Family visit this weekend!
The Hard:
-losing my grampa last week. SUPER hard
-not greiving yet. confusing and scary
-sub-zero temps this week. make normal life a bit harder
The Good:
-got my daughters working on some magickal sparkly collage projects about happiness, joy and getting along
-with a pink castle and hundreds of stickers
-100 Rose art markers
-dark rooms with lots of candles
-wishes
-moving thru the dreaded ToDo list with superspeed
-sobriety, clarity of mind, sovreignty and feeling healthy and integrated
I’ve been reading a long time, but I wanted to Chicken this week.
Are you sure Giant Headache of Doom isn’t a band?
The hard
– My MacBook and Microsoft Office are not playing nice together. I’ve got a lot of ttf fonts on my Mac, and Word refuses to believe that they’re really there. I called the ever so nice people at Apple, but because all my other apps recognize the fonts, they said to call Microsoft since it’s a problem with their software. Called Microsoft and got shuffled into voicemail hell, hung up and tried to get help online, but they’re big fat doodyheads. Grr. I hate microsoft. I’m only using because I need to do mail merges for my labels and haven’t found anything else that will do that. Grumble grumble grumble stupid microsoft.
– General overall crankiness. Meh.
The good
+ I dyed my hair again because the purple had faded quite a bit, but this time I treated it more like the wool I dye, except I didn’t cook my head in a turkey roaster. I wet it first, soaked it in citric acid, put the dye on it, covered it in plastic and heated it up with a hair dryer for a good 15 minutes, wrapped it in a towel to keep the heat in, and waited for 3 hours. Result? Totally awesome intense purple! Woo!
+ My hat pattern which I just put for sale a week ago has already sold several pdfs. Cool!
+ Guacamole. Just because.
Chicken! Makes me think of farm animals and piglets!
This week’s hard stuff:
– Le day job. Really full of muck and stress. I don’t like the person I am when I am here.
– The second arrow of feeling bad about hating le day job.
– Hitting my head into things. TWICE. It was really painful, and if it happens again, I will get superparanoid that I have some stupid neurlogical or depth perception disorder.
– Scheduling disasters. I tend to juggle too many things, since I always feel like the alternative leads to utter sloth.
– Winter continues to be a jerk.
The good stuff:
– Signed up for a four-week organizing e-course!
– Went to see my friend Chris in a karaoke competition and he won!
– At said competition, I met an attractive & nice dude. He texted me last night 🙂
– Got a callback!
– Yoga class – fee went to Charity!
– Instead of drowning my work sorrows in chocolate or wine, I worked out.
– Very full weekend, but excited about all of it!
Three cheers for everyone’s good and silly-mean faces at the hard.
Happy Friday! MWAH
Crayons are awesome! There’s nothing like a brand-new box of crayons, all those crisp edges just waiting to be used.
This week’s hard:
– I am *over* this cold weather. Done.
– I am also *over* the snowplow guy, who not only left a foot-high hump of packed, icy snow in front of the garage that one must vault over at high speed to get in and out, but he scraped up half of my front garden. Yet for some reason I can’t bring myself to fire this guy.
This week’s good:
– A very light work week, which left me plenty of time to do, oh, nothing. I managed to accomplish very few items on my checklist this week, and I feel okay about that.
– A nice special order came through, and I’ve already finished and shipped it.
– Successful shopping day, including a new wool coat (on sale) and two pairs of jeans (fit well, plus they’re long enough — amazingly enough), without it taking all day long and being frustrating.
– Fabulous massage.
Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
@Kat Seconded, break a leg!
Well well well its Friday again.
The Hard:
-I am still looking for work and place to stay in London and the money is slowly trickling away.
-Not having a place each day where I can do Shivanata in peace by my self.
-Have not been by my self any where for over two weeks now, while not bad, I am begging to think that doing Shivanata in the shower stalls in the hostel I am at is the only way.
-Rewiring my habits and thoughts in a strange place, where I know very few people who might be able to give support.
The good:
-The effect of my moneys slowly dripping away has had a up lifting effect, it is really about now that things will happen and I know what to do.
-Sparkling mineral water.
-Good coffee with out these two things there would be a very unhappy Chucky leaving this Island in a bee line for somewhere else.
-My continuing adventures of being somewhere else and doing things differently from how I might normally go about them.
@Chucky — Now you’ve got me thinking good thoughts about trying Shiva Nata in the shower — or, if I were into snorkeling or scuba, under water. What would that feel like, moving my arms through those spirals through the water? Mmmmm…
@Leni: I am so sorry. My sympathy to you and yours.
@Lori: Two pair of jeans that fit? Color me jealous. 🙂
Hard:
* asthma, and the cost of my inhaler refill
* feeling blown off / taken for granted
* nowhere near done with various things I’d hoped to be done with
Good:
* hour-long hike around Radnor Lake with a friend
* baking ginger muffins and pizza topped with beet greens
* catching a nice production of Marriage of Figaro
* lump on the dog’s side is just “a misplaced love handle.” Whew.
* doggie and dear friends full of adorable
Shabbat shalom, all y’all.
Crayons…so pretty. I’m thinking in photographs at the moment and so many possibilities.
The hard:
– the tired
– the hormonal. Still. On both counts.
– having to reapply for my job knowing that it’s almost definitely a waste of time. When I’ve just started liking the job.
– silence and neediness feedback circle. Oof.
The good:
– finished the first year of my MA. Woot!
– took a ton of photos I really like.
– bagpussing!
– got some aweseome feedback on my photos, both ones I’ve taken and ones I’ve just modelled in. Rearranged one photoshoot and sorting out another one.
Now, time for bed Zebedee?
Friday? Friday! Hi Friday. Hi Chicken. So, about this week.
The hard:
-Coping. Coping taking more time and effort than I wanted. Family member not understanding why I even need to cope, which is not helping. Bugger.
-So behind. That ain’t a pile, that’s a mountain. I’m considering naming it and sticking a flag on top.
-Want to hibernate. Probably related to that last one.
-The weather. Also not helping.
The good:
-Finding a fuzzy pink blanket that I forgot I had. Warm!
-Wrapping up pretty much all the lose ends that are not involved with the mountain. I can’t decide whether this ends up being helpful or not, but I’m still proud of myself.
-I bought myself flowers today. Pretty.
-I have a sewing project on. Probably not something I really have time for, but it’s still fun.
-Hey, the sun just came out!
Happy Friday, happy weekend, hugs all around.
Oh goody! Chicken.
The hard:
My roommate moved out a few days ahead of schedule (without telling me about a change in plan) and didn’t leave a note or a text or anything. I was hurt until I thought back on what I know/have experienced about the way she is in the world and I realized it’s her stuff.
I decided to try paying someone to do my taxes. In the space of an hour I got as much of a refund as I would’ve gotten back had I done it myself (ie, the same I got back last year), but I paid a lot more for it than I thought I would have to. This set off a bunch of my usual anxiety about money. (Ack!!) But I am trying to look at it as an experiment and to remember that I now don’t have to spend the weekend wrestling with my taxes.
The good:
Got a lot of peace rather unexpectedly last weekend about some non-school related stuff, which opened up a lot of brain space and helped me feel much lighter and more relaxed. And . . .
Breakthrough!! My research question for my proposal dropped into my head on Monday afternoon. It’s so fabulous what happens when I manage to clear out a little space in my brain. Feeling much more purposeful and confident. Yay!
A very hard Chicken week; too many chickens.
The Hard:
– How about everything; an exaggeration maybe
– Financial uncertainties
– Sick cat and financial uncertainties
– Accepting someone’s offer to pay for the cat to see their vet; unspeakably difficult
– Too many encounters with medical kind of activities
– Primary client has severed all work requests without explanation (in the long run this isn’t bad as I had decided it would be the last month as well but poorly done on their part.)
– Dealing with the weather and all the medical issues with such bad weather
– Reorienting my new direction much faster than originally anticipated
– Declining an offer to have something published (not for pay)that I wrote a year ago (the publishing process takes too long; and the piece was no longer relevant…so hard to give up a very good byline op but it was the right decision)
The Good:
– First time in years not having to deal with the weather or bad news alone and on my own
– Realizing that vacation starts in 2 weeks – yay!
– I still have options for creating a second career and finding my thing
– Amid the hard, life is still fun and worth living
Late to Chicken ….
Hard
-Whistling in ear – annoying and keeping me awake
-Mom’s health still not so good and the attached responsibility
-Not enough time for my pet projects and TAB
Good
-Ear thing is not likely serious, just something to learn to live with
-Mom is getting better – sloooooooowly
-Sent Valentine’s Cards – a whole boatload of ’em – to people I care about 🙂
-Took a nap this afternoon
I’m really not sure where this week went. Which leads me to believe that lots of things happened. Now, to remember what they were:
The Hard:
I took on a lot this week. Especially with launching two new blog series within five days of each other. (The second one is supposed to go live tomorrow, well supposed to in my head anyway. The supposed to is in my head, not the going live. Anyway.)
My bank card and Shiva Nata CD are trapped in Brazilian customs and the email they sent me was in Portuguese. Now to wait for a translation.
With all the snow and ice, not much work came in.
I need to pay for my stay during Carnival, only PayPal won’t let me use my credit card and Western Union is being annoying and I still don’t know if they’ll let me use my card.
I keep intending to go to bed early and failing miserably.
The Good:
Got the first little images for the site revision, perfect and adorable.
I’m learning how to actually use my magic skirts. I no longer look like I dressed myself in the dark. With a bed sheet.
My West Coast trip and Texas trips are mostly planned. Well, as good as they’ll get for now.
I’m really enjoying interviewing people and so far, everyone I have asked has said yes. I think I’ll be able to get enough done before SxSW that I won’t have to worry about them while I’m gone.
One of my dearest friends from Dallas boarded a plane for Brazil tonight. Should see her soon.
Having body image realizations left, right and center. This may result in a smaller bikini. Which may result in panic. Time will tell.
This was a big, big week. Let’s see if I can make sense of it…
The Hard
– being stood-up for an interview – seriously, who does that?
– discovering that my allergies from the past couple of weeks are due to the incense-burning enthusiasts that live below me and having to find solutions for keeping the smoke and smell out of my home
– burning my hand when pouring water from the kettle to make tea – ouch!
– wanting to rest, planning to rest, then not resting
(Havi, I always wondered how exactly that worked for you b/c I’ve been a fantastic rester all of my life. But now that I’m deep in my Thing, I’m finding I don’t even stop to eat. So I get it now.)
The Good
– snow! blizzards! I absolutely loved my snowed-in days and then enjoyed getting to drive around and see the snow-covered prairie the last two days
– unexpected visit with a dear friend who had emu oil for my poor burned hand
– lots and lots of progress on my cooking guide – totally on track to be done with a day to spare even! Can’t remember ever completing something this big without needing external deadlines or motivations (i.e. grades etc.)
– a TWO HOUR playdate followed by savasana that lasted as long as I wanted! so invigorating
– my second client sent me a deposit check (deposit check!) – while this doesn’t really count as money that can be spent, it goes a long way toward me feeling secure in my business-building
– the best ever braised short ribs – divine
– starting a new feature on my food blog and really feeling some momentum there, which is exciting
– launching my cooking guide on Monday – hooray!
Crayons AND books in the same week! Fabulous! 🙂
Bad –
*-30 wind chills in a 120 year old house that’s not wind-proof.
*Work schedule all whopper-jawed and totally not in my control.
*Treadmill died (ok, that could go on both lists, lol)
*No time for photography, and only a little writing.
Good –
*Lots more hot tea and cuddling under quilts than most weeks. 🙂
*Getting to learn a few new things at work I don’t normally do.
*Deciding to replace some of my treadmill cardio with swimming – so much more FUN!
*Going through old shots and finding gems I hadn’t published previously!
The hard:
Not yet making the piles of the monies. People continuing to throw shoes in my direction over this. People not understanding that throwing shoes at me, or shoe-throwing in general, is completely failing to be helpful. Thinking really irritated thoughts about this.
The good:
Radically accepting that throwing shoes is just what some people do, and it says far more about them, than it ever will about me, and that’s all right.
Choosing to find people that aren’t habitual shoe-throwers, going forward.
Actually asking for what I need. Asking for gentle encouragement and for my hand to be held while I create the form and function that will make it possible to Do The Thing and biggify The Thing and so make piles of the monies. The person doing the hand-holding does not understand why I need this, or why I would want this, but is doing it anyway, just to see me smile at him.
Going into meditation and asking what a health condition is really all about. Got the answer–and realizing that the answer actually makes sense! Realizing that it’s based on sadnesses and fears going back generations, and knowing that I can only take steps to heal myself.
hey ho howdy
Okay, so everything here is fitting in the both hard and good category, so I’m altering the structure of my chicken this week. Eeeww, genetically modified chicken.
* Vulnerability
Hard: feeling the fear, the raw, the in-need-of-help
Good: hey Me, it’s been a while, how you doing?
* Monster monster conversations.
Hard: I listen in as I sit in a courtroom with very scary and brutal two-headed vulture judges shame me ferociously while I am represented by a lawyer made entirely of panic who believes them and also has a smug assistant who thinks I deserve everything the judges are dishing up.
Good: my big sister Frank (my metaphor for My Authentic Self (gah!)) turns up and I realise it is the courtroom scene from Alice in Wonderland and they are all just a pack of cards, it’s a bad dream and I can wake myself up any time I like. Phew.
Frank and I go then sit in the grounds of the Home of My Heart (thanks Hiro) and discuss boundaries, setting them, defending them, living inside them and why my lawyer should not be left in charge of things.
Also that’s what is mine is mine and what is theirs is theirs even if I voluntarily allow breaches of my boundaries those areas remain, inherently, mine, and they have to go and find their own.
Whoah.
Fortunately I also had vanilla slice with me while this weird ass subconscious shit was coming the fuck out of my pen and I was in a lovely warm, muggy garden courtyard that made me think maybe I was actually in Bangkok or Bali or somewhere nice like that for an hour. Mmmmm
* Losing the remote to my DVD player
Hard: I can’t use the Shiva Nata DVD and have to do it from memory. Also – irritating!
Good: getting good enough at Level 1 arms that I have to start on Level 2 to get the right amount of getting it wrong. #iveneverbeensoproudofmymistakes
Also, Level 2 opens doorways for monster monster conversations. Whoah.
* The To Do list is very overwhelming
Hard: panic, avoidance, resistance
Good: woo woo magic fairy dust that works. Thanks Havi. When I do it…. Now to work out the resistance and procrastination to the fairy dust. Oh for fucks sake ME…
* So. Much. Inspiration! So. Many. Resources!
Hard: hmmmmmm…. slightly overwhelming?
Good: as well as the stalwart Fluent Self of course
– Hiro Boga
– Daniel Pink, Drive
– Flow, as in Mihály Csíkszentmihályi flow
– Jennifer Louden
– Katie Sokoler
– Smarts and Culture
– Awakening Women and the Womens Ashram (ooooh girly!!)
– my yoga teacher #yesiactuallywenttoclass
* Defining the challenge (which is defining my boundaries)
Hard: oooooh raises so many hard, painful, scary triggery things. CONFLICT!! There will be conflict! I hate conflict! Aaaarrrrgghhh
Good: nice metaphor from Chameli at Awakening Women about riverbanks. Also permaculture philosophy and science holds that all the really interesting things happen at the boundaries. Oh shit I am going to be living in interesting times….
* Floods and cyclones
Hard: watching them and the people caught up in them. The 24 hour news cycle. Yes we have no bananas. If the ice-caps hadn’t been melting there wouldn’t be so much water around to create these devastating weather events and oh god, the world, is it doomed?.
Good: they didn’t hit our end of the country and looking at human spirit in adversity.
GMChicken over and out.
xx
Also – Dr Brene Brown <3
Oh, and Cairene and an old post about magical thinking. Who me?
See, so many resources I am overflowing with inspiration. It’s good! It’s a bit head spinning….