In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
The hard stuff
In a funk to end all funks. FUNK.
Grrrr.
That’s pretty much all I have to say about that.
Oh I need a vacation so badly.
And I don’t know when it can happen.
Come on, calendar. Start making sense!
My old nemesis! So we meet again.
African drumming. I’m sure it’s great.
And! Why must it always be happening in whatever room is next door to or above or below the one in which I’m currently teaching Shiva Nata?
Or when I’m trying to get stuff done at the Playground post-Rally.
Or wherever I am, apparently.
The fact that this has randomly happened an absurd number of times over the past several years is telling me that I need to either start doing Shiva Nata to African drumming or that something weird is going on in the force.
Anyway, headache + HSP do not go well with the drumming and it all ends in grumpy grumpy grumpy.
This project I’m currently projectizing is unfairly hard.
You would not believe how many walls I hit this week. Figuratively. Mostly.
The hard side of wanting something that scares me.
Lots of monster conversations, for sure.
The good stuff
I found the coat rack!
Back in December, I wrote a Very Personal Ad asking for a ridiculous coat rack for the Playground.
I had such a strong sense of what it would be like: playful, silly, sturdy, with kooky embellishments.
Except that I didn’t find it so I’d kind of stopped looking. But then on Sunday, there it was! In a consignment shop. It was just right. And it even sort of matches the crazy hooks we have.
Guess how much? Eleven dollars. Schnäppchen!
Plus it fits so perfectly at the Playground that no one even noticed it was new. Looks like it’s always been there. This fills me with happy.
Joy! Joy! SABICH!
Speaking of being filled with happy…
One of the hardest parts of not living in Tel Aviv is missing the food.
I am constantly repressing cravings for so many things. Jachnun. Jachnun. Jachnun.
Anyway, I finally went to (twitter link) Wolf and Bear and they had sabich. And it was heaven.
My entire body was all tingly and home. I can’t even explain how great it was so you’ll just have to trust me on this.
Purple wig!
Everything is better in a purple wig. Even better than in a pink wig. It just is.
Wearing the purple wig solved many problems this week.
Rally!
Rally was full of interesting surprises, as it always is.
I learned so many things that I didn’t know about how I function and why and what my projects need in order to thrive.
And we rocked out while doing impossibly crazy Shiva Nata sequences. The shivanautical epiphanies were huge, and my brain is abuzz with exciting things. I always forget how astonishing it is.
Rally! Rally!
Also it was warm and sunny. Yes, now that the heating is no longer broken. Timing, timing.
Now stir, you fool!
This made me laugh on a crappy, crappy day.
Normally I would not link to a fourteen minute anything, but ohmygod Vegan Black Metal Chef. Somehow this hit me right in the funny.
Only vaguely related: someone can make me a mason jar picnic, metal version or not, and I will be very happy.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band, by a crazy coincidence…
Now Stir You Fool!
They’ll be playing all weekend. Except of course that it’s really just one guy.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
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“The hard side of wanting something that scares me.” I think this is what my week has been all about.
Hard this week: Bugs–the kind that make me ill. Pain, little gremlins stomping around in my belly, hammering inside my head.
Couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t do anything except sleep, or curl up in bed and read, on a good day.
The good this week: Rest. A slow return to feeling better. Clarity about the thing I want and how my scared selves react. Old pain releasing. Breathing room.
Love, Hiro
Yeah for cool Schnäppchen!
My hard stuff this week:
– Back still really bad on weekend.
– Tired.
– Yet another year older and terrified about how time flies.
– Waking up at the crack of dawn and not being able to go back to sleep.
– A nightmare about something that had happened exactly 4 years to the day before the night I had the dream.
– Craving hermit mode but don’t see it happening any time soon.
My good stuff:
– Back so much better since Monday.
– So many hugs and flowers and calls and emails and text messages for my birthday.
– Sweet little presents from colleagues.
– Clarified something with someone I care for – relief.
– Office party on my birthday.
– Went to the zoo.
The Hard:
-Really tired of work. From small things to big things. From the guy tapping his pen in the next cube over who is driving.me.batty to feeling like my work doesn’t move me. I can’t seem to get jazzed up. At all.
-The you’renotgoodenough Monster is rearing its toothy head. You’llneverbesmartenough and youdon’tmeasureup. It goes on and on, and I let it. Grrr.
-Utterly exhausted all week.
<The Good:
+This blog and its people.
+Potential for new volunteer opportunities, which *does* get me jazzed up. But then the monsters chime in, telling me I’ll suck at that, and won’t be as good at it as others. And I have a PhD, so what a disappointment. {Hello, depression.}
+Wait. This is supposed to be the “good” column.
~~~~~Taking a moment here.~~~~~~ 🙂
Ha! This introverted HSP luuurves African drumming — so long as it and I are both outside where I can adjust the sound by moving farther away. Drumming inside is just wrong. I once had to leave a church service because there would be drumming indoors. No thank you.
My hard stuff this week
–MIL visit. Even though it was about as good as it could possibly be, it was still annoying.
–Assistant drama at the dayjob such that I had to learn invoices on the fly. Dislike!
–The health line keeps moving, and I crossed it. Now I’m flat on my ass. Boo.
My good stuff this week
–I took sick days instead of pushing through. Go me!
–I’m reading books that make me think. Love.
–I’m feeling hopeful about the future, if only I can pace myself.
What? No one is here yet? I’m sure that’ll have changed by the time I post.
Good luck Havi on finding that vacation time and very exciting about the coatrack.
Woo! Okay it is time for the chickening.
The hard – training did not go at all as planned this week, we’ve still got a few days to make me think that this week is not an epic fail training wise, but we’ve got 11 weeks to go, so life is good.
the wrists have been bugging me. not sure what’s going on with that, but we will be fixing it. wrist braces, plus new bike + contacts so glasses don’t slide down my nose while i bike and ruin my posture… things will be better. i promise wrists.
new bike (see below) does NOT come close to fitting on the bike rack. the extra small bike is too small for the bike rack… this causes problems that need fixing and finding a solution other than taking the front wheel of my bike off when i go anywhere.
spending lots of money
The good
– my new bike came last night it is beautiful and fast. (okay so i don’t really know about the fast yet because i haven’t rode it yet, but i will ride it tomorrow and it will be fast because it looks fast).
– work flew by this week. i was busy but not drownding.
– also things are being finished at work.
– lots of fruit in our box o fruit and veggies. also the endives from like 4 weeks ago magically did not go bad and they are actually kind of good shredded into my salad.
– figured out how to set up post by email on my blog so that it works. not sure what was stopping it before but it works now.
– i made secret agent phone calls and emails on my lunch break last week and they went amazingly well! secret spy meetings scheduled with the eye doctor and for a birthday massage.
Chicken!
Hard:
– Working really, really hard to get a delivery out. Took longer than I wanted. Made me truly exhausted.
– Felt like I was coming down with something all week.
– Gov’t still hasn’t cashed my tax check, making me worry that it fell out of the envelope or that I screwed it up in some way.
Good:
= Finished my delivery finally. So I also got invoice. Double yay!
– Did some clothes shopping, and found some new things for summer. Which is good, because I don’t want to be tromping around in sweaters in July.
– My uncle was in town this week, and fixed my 103 year old grandpa’s walkers, which is awesome, because now they are safe and he is less likely to fall. Phew.
Have a great weekend!
I love African drumming. Love.
The hard.
– I’ve had a cold for a little over a week, so I’ve been sleeping a lot. A LOT. And my normally so mild I forget I have it asthma makes itself known when I have a cold. And because it’s usually so mild I forget I have it? When I actually need to use my inhaler, I find it expired over a year ago.
– Last weekend’s show sucked financially. Just not a lot of customers, and the ones I had didn’t buy a lot. I’ve got to start being pickier about the shows I sign up for.
The good.
+ Hey, if I’ve had this cold for a little over a week, I should almost be over it, right?
+ The van is all packed up to head off for another show as soon as my gentleman friend gets home (Upper Valley Fiber Fest. Anyone yarny peeps in Ohio reading this?).
+ It looks like I’ll qualify for our county health plan, so losing the day job may not mean the end of affordable health insurance after all. Sweet.
Oh, yay! The chicken has landed!
Havi, I’m really sorry to hear about the funk. That sounds miserable. I hope things start shifting soon!
Hard:
–Grappling with the need to decide whether or not to keep striving for the PhD, with one year left — and that’s if I get the extension I’m requesting, which I won’t know until the beginning of September. Ultimately, deciding Yes felt better than deciding No, so I went with that, but yeah, heavy stuff.
–Found out that my daughter quietly made a major decision without consulting us, that we really wish had been handled differently, that even she now wishes she’d handled differently. Sadness all around.
–Telling the director of the Montessori school where I teach music that I wouldn’t be able to come back next fall, due to the urgent need to make more time for dissertation creation. It was a good gig, and I’ll miss the kids. Sorrow.
Good:
–Had a couple of very satisfying epiphanies, the kind that I may be able to carry in my metaphorical medicine bag for a long time to come, that may be extremely helpful in destuckifying. Yay, Shiva Nata! (And I’m inclined to believe that it was not only my own Shiva dancing, but all the wild energy from the Rally on the opposite coast, so thank you!)
–Daughter got her ears pierced. She was nervous but brave: when the moment came, she wordlessly reached for the comfort of my hand. It was just such a tender tween-age moment. So endearing. I felt so honored.
–Mr. Ed’s Elephant Museum! It’s a wonderfully quirky (and downright sovereign) little place that I’ve been wanting to visit for months, and I finally got there. Fun!
Wishing everyone much comfort for the hard stuff, celebration for the good stuff, and a very satisfying weekend.
I’m one of the Beloved Lurkers. I don’t usually chicken. There is something unsettling about reflecting on my week. Like I’m grading it or something.
BUT since yesterday’s post on Taking A Moment, I’ve been thinking about taking a moment before I do something that I am unsure about.
So, here goes.
The Hard:
– It rained all week, which it never does here in Boulder. This gave me a headache for 4 straight days. Headaches for my husband, too.
– Lot’s of work to do but it all needs processing in the soft before I can actually work in the hard. Me = impatient.
– Long emails from students detailing how they deserve higher grades than the one they earned in my class.
The Good:
– The semester is over! Grades turned in on Monday and I’m free for the summer.
– Nice emails from students saying they enjoyed my class.
– Long walks and/or yoga every day.
– Two weddings to go to this weekend and both are in the area (so just fun, no expensive travel).
Well, I guess that wasn’t so bad. I honestly thought that listing out the crappiness of the week would make me feel like, well, crap.
Listing the good parts as well puts it in perspective.
Perhaps I’ll try this again next week 🙂
I’m sorry to hear about your drum-adjacent frustrations, but may I just say I find it delightful and completely reasonable that African drumming is drawn inexorably toward Shiva Nata?
Oh this week. Oh this week.
The Hard:
Was there hard? I guess I’m terrified by the possibility that there might not have been anything hard.
And I’m a little bit terrified that all the goodness might go away.
The Good:
My website finally went up! And there was much rejoicing. And it is beautiful. And I’m taking a three day vacation from the internet (see how well I’m doing?) and it’s fabulous.
Lots of reading exciting books lounging about in the sunshine. All day long! And the guilt monsters haven’t been showing up so I’m like: Okay, we’re taking it. (I do know they’ll be back, but it’ll be after vacation, and that’s a different thing).
Oh yes, and this fabulous man that I may or may not be dating after only knowing him for a week and going all crazy head-over-heels in a way that’s not like me. And wonderful. And…terrifying. -Sigh-
Three and four hour hikes in the middle of the night? I’ll take them! And naps. I’ll take those too.
Yay chicken as quite frankly I’m not sorry to see this week departing.
The hard:
– the horrible low mood of doom that’s been stalking me most of this week, no doubt not helped by some of the other hards
– hormonal
– achey heart sadness
– the last fifteen minutes of my five hour tattoo session. Ouch.
– realising the tattoo is going to take longer than orginially predicted and resulting money anxieties
– feelings of argh! and scarcity monster fears about the day job finishing next week
The good:
– Yay – finally got tattooed. It’s so beautiful and it’s almost like it’s taken on a life of it’s own. And my tattooist is wonderful and incredibly talented and works at the nicest tattoo studio.
– Getting started on my seedling biz
– Feeling a desire to start writing my novel again
– low mood seems to be lifting
– Actually going to bed early when I’ve been exhausted and washed out and hormonal – and asking for understanding at work and getting it
– lots of laughter at work
I love it when you find something and bring it home and it looks like it’s always been there, in a good way. Let’s chicken!
This week’s hard:
– An out-of-the-blue e-mail from the ex I haven’t talked to in many years saying that the kitty we acquired when we were together died earlier this week, after being very sick. I had said my goodbyes and got through a lot of sad about him going with his dad when we split up almost 10 years ago, but it still threw me for a loop. Poor little guy.
– Craptastic depressoweather, up until today. Having to turn the heat back on.
This week’s good:
– New, interesting projects are coming in, and while the volume has the potential to be a Very Scary Thing, I’m applying that ninja flow move to scheduling and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be able to make it work without stressing.
– One of the new projects is a book by a Very Big Name, like NYT bestseller list big.
– A couple of fun outings to garden centers, and finding a little gem of a nursery out in the country.
– Finally, some sun, and time in the schedule to move some things around and work out in the yard this afternoon.
Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
Last Chicken of the semester! Woot!
The Hard:
-School. I so don’t even want to talk about it.
-I don’t feel ready to move yet.
-Feeling more distant from my sorta-partner than ever. And moving stuff is not helping.
-Anxiety about commencement stuff tomorrow. Big pomp and circumstance isn’t my thing. Mom said she’d behave, but I always worry. And the place I want to go to for lunch after doesn’t take reservations on weekends, and I’m afraid that my family will be mad if we have to wait a bit. I’ve decided that we’re going here anyway because it’s my most favorite place. But I’m still worried that they will be unhappy.
-General uncertainty. Especially around relationship stuff. The future is so hard to deal with.
The Good:
+School is done. Yaaaaaay!
+Got a free flask at work.
+Getting money for Madrid.
+Survived my very first Shiva Nata lesson that I gave to my dance class. I think that everyone was thoroughly confused, which was my goal.
+More bike riding.
+Getting my CPAP soon. Very much looking forward to getting a decent night’s sleep.
oh, chicken, here you are again.
the hard:
-a friend and a sister losing their beloved cats. so hard to watch people be in this much pain, reminds me of losing my cats, and reminds me that the one I still have is over seventeen.
-not getting anything done that is *quantifiable*. Not sure where to go from here. things are moving, but I can’t see where to.
-not getting to spend time with someone I wanted to spend time with
-money not coming in
-constant rain
the good:
+something IS moving, even if I can’t see where to
+running.
+an amazing walk in the almost-rain & humid through streets of my neighborhood that I hadn’t walked slowly through before, admiring beautiful houses (umm, while listening to Havi recordings.)
+shiva nata! I looooove it. it doesn’t bother me at all that i either know what I’m doing or have absolutely no idea, it just entertains the hell out of me.
kisses!
Hard: still have a cold. Feeling fairly squeezed-for-time. Commission client hasn’t gotten back to me, and I need to figure out how to talk to her about where we are.
Good: making progress on putting my work online, even if it’s slower going than I might wish. Other commission is going well. It’s sunny again! Medical thing is probably nothing serious! Silver is under $40/oz 😀
Have a lovely weekend, everyone! 🙂
Woo hoo, chicken!
This week’s hard:
-Finding out something annoyingly predicable about not having any more time to procrastinate about a tax issue.
-Eek, scary tax stuff!
-Have to work on it this weekend, bleah.
-Remembering there are some other annoyingly predictable things I’m way too late on. Gah.
This week’s good!
+Help on taxes! A “goose” to get (re)started!
+Bought fresh food on Monday and cooked/fixed it for all five days this week. (Except yesterday when I was out of town. But I did eat salads.) Didn’t just eat packaged or frozen food. Tasted great, felt healthy. Yay!
Question: Leocadia said she was “Craving hermit mode but don’t see it happening any time soon.” I feel that way too sometimes (often). Does anyone have any ideas how to deal with that? How to create a force field or something that lets you be a hermit even when you can’t really be one?
The Hard:
– Sleep is messed up (again).
– Brain fuzz. Lack of alertness. Walking around in a fog.
– Seeing people I care about struggle. Feeling guilty because I don’t feel guilty that I don’t have the same problems. Does that even make sense?
– I didn’t act soon enough and something is going to cost more because of it. I also made an expensive mistake through carelessness.
The Good:
+ It’s been good to slow down, even though I was forced to (because I broke a finger).
I’ve read more blogs and posted comments.
+ I have a goofy imagination when I’m on painkillers.
+ I got a Guy With a Truck to haul away some crap. Yay for finding the guy! Yay for etting that mess hauled away! Just yay.
+ Sunshine, blessed sunshine!
+ Weekend plans!
Realizations:
Being somewhat debilitated, I’m letting/making my husband do more and that’s good for him. He’s disabled but we have always focused on keeping him independent. Recently we lost sight of that, and this has put the focus back on what he can do, which is a lot.
The things I long to be able to do now, when I can’t do them, are the ones that really matter to me. The things that I was doing instead of them may be obstacles that I should talk with.
I also realized, reading the other posts, that like Rhiannon I’m terrified that all the goodness is will go away. BUT that if it’s true that you get more of what you celebrate, well, I have a lot to celebrate and I want to have even more.
Going away now to write a list of all the good things there are to celebrate. And then I’m going to celebrate them.
Everyone, have a wonderful weekend! Celebrate.
Second week in a row of chickening! Sparklepoints for me!
The Hard
– Lots and lots and lots of technical difficulties. Part of me knows that this will be ironed out as I get used to some of the new technology I’m excited to have in my life … but this week it has just meant missed connections and less than ideal working circumstances.
– Realizing that I’m not fully loving the work that I’m being paid to do. So much forcing in my world right now is hard.
The Good
– Lots of great connections with people this week – in person, on the phone, over the internet. Old friends and new ones. I am appreciating all the love that brings to my life!
– I’m loving all the access to cool opportunities I have in the Bay Area. This week, I’ve had so many great reminders of why I moved here.
– Money seems to be flowing lately, both at work and personally. I’m feeling very fortunate!
Things are going really well, and I’m finding a happy balance between writing and other stuff. I am getting into crochet in a big way, and it helps balance the intensity of writing.
Plus I am writing fanfic every day, which is lovely! Yay!
I just wish I had someone to squee with me about it.
Wow, hard good week mostly or maybe it was just a good hard week. Lots of monsters but also lots of insights and of course processing processing.
The big disappointment was having Sunday scuba class not go well. That was a hard way to start the week. This is definitely a monster issue with patterns and while “Eleven and a half Insights” has helped immensely we’ll probably be calling in the Interviewer.
It was a big hard by itself as I had hoped to be ready to test this summer and that probably won’t happen until fall now. The class was also intended as a break from moving chaos but having its own chaos kind of nulls that out.
Moving chaos. I gave notice and have started moving out of my apartment into sharing a home. While this was not an outcome I expected or planned for it makes me ridiculously happy; but the act of moving is hard with new piles of past stuff to be shredded (so many painful memories) and choosing whose what to keep since we don’t need two kitchens or two laundries and so forth.
Writing has also been hard while I am transitioning from newspaper freelancing to this thing that has no name that seems to be calling me. Transition chaos on top of other transition chaos is not fun, though it has interesting moments. (trying not to roll eyes)
The good is that the new garden has not washed away in the record rainfall. Everything is green and upright and I am much relieved since it has been many years since I have had a real garden.
Also that the time to move has finally arrived after many months of waiting for leases to expire. It is tempting to just want the moving to be over so that life can normalize again but trying to stay present through all the phases of the transition and gaining insights from those.
And finally a whole day of sunshine which made me and my garden very happy indeed.
BTW for Riin, I am not a yarn peep and live out-of-county so I won’t be at the fest; but years ago I worked at the old hospital in town. Sorry you will miss the strawberries as they’re late this year (hopefully they’ll figure out how to swim).
Vegan Black Metal Chef is so awesome… I love the knives! Thanks for that totally unexpected treat.
The Hardies:
– Not getting to eat what I want to eat because my body is deciding it doesn’t want me to.
– Contributing to a volunteer project for an organization that is…well, not super organized…and getting REALLY judgmental about it in a way that I’m totally not used to doing anymore. Hurts my brain. So much.
– Going into comparison mode and telling myself unkind things about Me and the last 2 months of my life. Sad face.
– Being visited by a lot of old thought patterns that I thought had forgotten how to find me again. (Hmmm. That sounds vaguely as if I had sent them away, locked them up and gone running from them…did I really do that?!)
– Medication.
To all the above, I apologize. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you.
The Goodies:
– Birthday celebration for my mom’s husband. He loved the solar dragonfly yard lights I got him. LOVED them.
– Laughing out loud! At myself when I was hanging the streamers. At Havi’s * about finales. At TV commercials with babies in denim diapers. At Vegan Black Metal Chef. At my mom’s eyebrow pencil happenings. At things I won’t name that I saw online. (Even typing that makes me laugh out loud.) Yes!
– Riding around in a Cranberry red Corvette. Zooom!
– Super simple gratitudes that really went deep this week. Being able to feed myself being one of them. Hand to mouth. Absolutely amazing. #humbled
– Being at my mom’s house and getting loved on by her. xo
The Hard
– not getting any work done
– the biggest level of unpreparedness for travel ever. as in: accidentally waking up 30 minutes before departure, packing for 10 days, cleaning dishes, getting dressed and leaving.
– shoe-trowing from one of my favorite girlfriends
– not wanting to be where i am, and too scared too move – STUCK STUCK STUCK
The Good
– some minor bearable thinking about the stuck
– not-working, while worrisome, is also very refreshing
– the major rethinking might lead to something ..
– being in ?stanbul !! the people are so great so far
LOVE
So sorry about the drums and the funk. And for anyone’s/everyone’s hard this week.
The hard,
Old stuff coming up in the face of the new.
Not overwhelming yet.
Weird clicking and discomfort in left shoulder when doing Shiva Nata. Hmmm…..
The good:
Took a personal day – the second in 18 years – whoooo!
Used it to yogafy for as long as I wanted and to and to hang in the house.
Stood up for myself by removing myself from the room just as a chronic shoe thrower at work began to take aim – and I told her what I was doing. I was shaking afterward, but I did it.
@VickiB
Thanks for bringing up the question about the hermit mode, I am sure there is some way to fit in little windows of hermit-dom that can be as effective as the 3 days to myself I am dreaming about but that are not going to happen any time soon. I will ponder about it. Or build a cave.
Monsters, monsters, everywhere.
Hard:
Monsters. Scarcity monsters. How am I ever gonna support the whole family monsters. Major major hard.
Scared. Hard to see a way out when in panic mode.
DD’s car has unexplainable repair issue. As in, nothing shows up on the computer, but it could be the fuel pump. Or not. $550 is a lot to experiment with.
Major day of meltdown and discouragement because of the above and the rain which seemed never ending.
Missing Sean Lennon at the Nelsonville Music Festival because of the rain and the tired. 🙁 Sleeping through the spectacle of The Flaming Lips because of the same.
Good:
Embracing the mud on Sunday. Squishing through the festival grounds and doing Shiva Nata to keep my balance.
NEKO CASE! Four “rows” back. In the rain and mud. So.Much.Fun.
SUN!!!!! *Two* days in a row!!!!
Getting bank balance and finding out I can get through at least another month. Mitigated the panic a little bit.
Birds singing along with Baby Dee while she was performing Brother Slug and Sister Snail. Just perfect.
I completely missed Friday. Oops.
Calling uon.. CHICKEN AMNESTY HUZZAH!
ahem.
HOkay.
The Good:
– a week with my gentleman friend
– he helped me understand my exam revision
– a lie-in on thursday
– i conquered the fear of public speaking – and it went well
– i’ve another client which makes my money and my “yay i’m sharing this” happiness high
– i got accepted to a summer job placement
– got accepted onto a course i’m interested in.
The Hard:
– being at the funeral (especially “family only” bits) when i’m not technically family yet.
– upsetting myself and my gentleman friend
– trains. panic. argh.
– giving that speech at the conference. panic, fear. no sleep.
– having to revise and tweak the funeral plans when i just wanted time with my beloved
Having a restful weekend though. Very grateful for thursday and Friday; which were peaceful and restful and ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Hard:
* Not finding time for friends who matter to me.
* Feeling way out of sync with key people.
* Cramps, ouchies, and allergy-related blurriness
* Feeling too off-rail for workouts on the days I did feel well
Good:
* Helping out on the farm was fun. Plus it stocked my fridge and started my summer tan.
* Roland Garros is here. This will actually encourage me to work out, since I can watch ESPN2 on the elliptical.
* Updating my wardrobe via an outlet sale. Approving noises from my SO calming down the Frugality Angel.
Wishing everyone help with their hard stuff, and huzzahs for the good things.
I do my best work at night.
Some have accused me of being a vampire.
Pity those teenage vampires are so out of fashion right now.
Ooooh boy! That chicken is going to have to have a heart overflowing with amnesty for me this fine morn….
The Good and the Hard
This has been a week of many good things and many hard things.
Unfortunately for the 1 person who will be skimming this comment, they have been personal challenges and personal victories, either so small and internal they aren’t worth publishing in the public domain, or so personal I’d rather not publish into the public domain.
Not that I have anything to hide, I just am not narcissistic enough to think my life is of such fascination to the general public.
And though these changes are small and quite internal, I feel I have achieved some important epiphanies.
I feel I have changed, grown, evolved for the better.
In any event, I want to share something, so…
The Hard:
The usual from Resistance
Friends with more testosterone than brains
Having to play moderator for said macho friends intent on physical “debate”
The good:
Celebrating Doomsday with friends, old and new
Planning my post-Apocalyptic shopping spree
The Apocalypse has come and gone without notice
The post-Apocalyptic hellscape I see outside my window looks boringly like last week’s pre-Doomsday banal reality; I suppose little has changed
No one I care about has left me to be raptured; we are a band of brothers and sisters, condemned to live the remainder of our days upon this earth, this vale of tears.
Life is good
Eritis sicut Deus, scientes bonum et malum
Aaron Fung
PS to the one person skimming this and read this far: thank you!
I am now convinced that cooking could be fun with knives like that.