In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Yet again I protest! How could it possibly be Friday?
But here we are.
Let’s find out what actually happened this week.
The hard stuff
Re-entry, again.
Rally (Rally!) was so incredible.
And coming back is hard.
Still want that vacation. Any time now….
Heading towards emergency vacation territory. It really needs to happen.
I have a getaway planned for Monday but it’s one night and that isn’t enough.
Something needs to happen before I hit the point of not being able to make decisions about how to take care of myself.
Tired and sore!
Creak creak creak ow.
Poor sore mouse me!
Colossal screw-up on my part.
Forgot that the company phone forwards to my cell because I never answer my cell.
Was having a dream about someone in Israel needing to reach me. The volume on my phone wasn’t off (it usually is), so I heard it ring.
It was crazy early in the morning. So I answered. And gave someone the worst customer service ever because I was bewildered, awakened and had no idea what they wanted.
Systems change!
I am a crankypants!
And everything is getting on my nerves.
The good stuff
Roller derby league championships.
I did the shivanautical force field warm-ups for the team we sponsor (Yeah!!! Guns N Rollers!) and they looked amazing.
Also: I was in full pink wig regalia and there are pictures (see Photo #6). It was, as Paul said, super cool destructoid!
Sadly Selma wasn’t there. She is not so much into the noise and is also kind of paranoid about being recognized. Yes.
Beautiful things from Heidi.
The marvelous Heidi sent me her Presence potion (to die for!).
And some new Playground potions for the Toy Shop.
And a beautiful book.
I love Heidi! I love the Presence potion! Love love love!
Wise reminders.
Brilliant Kitchen Table call with Joy from Adventures of Joy, talking about so many vital and important things.
She is wise and wonderful.
And now, inspired by that amazing call, I’ve been taking mini-silent-retreats all week. And yelling Silent Retreat!
Silliness in the Chattery.
We were playing and goofing off in the Chattery after the Kitchen Table call, and ended up forming a group called RATS (Retreating Alone Together Silently).
And also re-acronymizing ROI (“return on investment”) to be more fun.
I started by suggesting Retreating On Instinct. And then we came up with some more:
Reframing Oodles of Intentions!
Refreshing Oceans of Icecream!
Reclaiming Our Independence!
Riddles of Inspiration!
Relishing Our Idiosyncrasies
Raving Over Intuition
Revising Our Iguanas
Radiating Our Intelligence
Raunchy Orgy of Indiscretion
Anyway, all of these are probably just one guy. But it was so much fun. Yay, Chattery!
More woe poems = everything is better now.
Writing out the crappiness of a day in poem form at the Whine Bar in my Kitchen Table program.
It is astonishing how quickly this turns pain into craft and takes out the sting. And since we aren’t actually a group of writers or poets, it also removes the “what if my writing is terrible?!” fear because writing well or doing something meaningful isn’t actually the point.
Monday night.
I got eleven hours of sleep.
Eleven. Hours. Of sleep.
In a row.
It was outrageous. It was great. I am so happy about this.
Big shivanautical understandings and epiphanies.
Related to old hurts.
And understanding more about when I need to step back and water less.
And a big realization that something I thought I discovered last month is actually something I have known for over ten years. Thanks, Shiva Nata!
Finally. Something to do with all those spam names.
This lovely post from Crys called what a bunch of characters is such a perfect example of that thing that I call counterparts.
Story!
This tiny and wonderful crayon pirate story. So great.
Thanks to Mary Elaine for telling me about it.
Rally!
Maryann wrote this beautiful piece about her experience at Rally!
And I love it. I love it so much. Read it!
Hat parade! Tomorrow!
Tomorrow is Hat Parade!
If you live in Portland, you should come. I will be there.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band courtesy of these distressingly-named food-like things:
Umlaut Abuse
And yes, it’s really just one guy.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Follow
How is it Friday already, and also how is it possible Monday was only four days ago? How, chicken, how?!
The Good
–I have energy! I haven’t had to take to my bed at all this week!
–I’ve got an idea for another class, and a plan for executing it.
–I’m signing up for Mark Silver’s Opening the Moneyflow course to get some biz help, and I luuuuuuurve the person I’ll be working with.
–C comes home today from a conference. Yay for wife at home!
–I read a TON of things, thanks to my energy and my commute.
The Hard
–C had the car all week two states away, so I had to add buses to my train commute. And another hour a day for the buses. That was a lot of commuting.
–The dogs are shedding. A lot. The house looks like I decided to have an impromptu dog-shaving contest in my house.
–My sinuses are still not happy. At least the prospect of recovering from surgery no longer makes me want to lie down on the floor and cry. (See energy, more.)
–Anticipating how much next week and the two weeks after is going to suck at work is not making my life better. Note to self: Present is better.
Hi, Friday. Hi fellow chickeneers.
The hard:
-Struggling some with sleep and the putting off of it for no apparent reason. And then struggling with the tired.
-Feeling a bit apprehensive about the many Pride-related activities happening this weekend, and nervous about how my HSP self is going to do with it all.
-Realizing my pattern of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and expecting things to be really hard, always.
-Sometimes, people on the street say mean things to queer-presenting people. It makes me very sad and mad.
-Stupid NY Senate and their stupid waffling and postponing on the marriage equality vote.
The good:
-I’m SO excited to have a reiki session with Elizabeth.
-Despite the HSP stuff, I’m excited for Pride.
-I know lots of really nice people, through the internet and right here, and it makes me very happy.
-Seeing the possibility of being more comfortable with ease, and that is SO exciting, even if it’s only a glimmer right now.
A happy weekend to everyone!
the hard:
extreme loneliness
overwhelm
rain rain rain – which i normally love but in the mood i’m in isn’t helping
sister getting rejected for a job
not feeling connected to someone important to me
lack of money
the good:
acupuncture as a time trade!
time trade everything!
people saying funny things when I’m so sad that make me smile
the beautiful flowers i spent a lot of money on at the farmers market were so worth it
i did massive amounts of clearing out of my house… even though all I see is what hasn’t been done yet, so much has.
dinner with friends I feel very safe with tonight
Friday? What?
Eugh.
The Hard
– I will get the results of my entire degree on thursday.. and by get, I mean they will posted on the noticeboard for all my co-students to see. EUGH. STRESSSSSSS WORRY PANIC ARHG
– Heading for burn-out
– Threatening reminders for things that aren’t my fault. So the library lost a book i returned, charged me money for a replacement. I told them to shove it. They found the book they’d lost. Said sorry, no need to pay.. It’s been 3 weeks and I’m still getting “remember to pay us or you wont get your results” letters. STRESSS. ANXIETY.
– Crappy angry mood. Continuously.
– Emailing the hell out of everyone and everything.. very little responses. -sigh-
– Attending training courses that bring up my stooof.
The Good
* Vanilla Milkshake
* Getting back to the community.
* Celebrated end of my degree [which was 3 weeks ago.. finally got to go out for it!]
* Getting enough sleep [though still nightmares]
* Begin my third paid job Monday.. burn out possible 🙁 but money likely 🙂
* Tomorrow should be awesome
This week has sped past in a series of slow moments. I’m not sure if that makes sense.
The hard:
– the weather. Hailstorms in midsummer. Rain. Constant wind. still putting the kibosh on plans and driving me slightly crazy from not being able to leave the house to walk.
– virus = upset stomach, upset sinsuses, tired, virus thoughts of all doom. Lot’s of pain laden ‘whys?’
– so unsurprisingly I’ve been incredibly unproductive this week. Behind on where I want to be with my dissertation and haven’t done quite a lot of other things.
– my roof has started leaking again. Annoying, cold, and brought up a ton of stuff.
– job application rejection, and background fear that I’m not going to be able to get a job in the area I want
– a night of insomnia. Ugh.
The good:
– completed the fourth week of 365. Realising that I can create photos I really like, even when I’m not in the mood for it at all. But then when I start doing it, it’s fine (even when it goes hideously wrong, I’ve always eventually got something I liked) and I enjoy it and I feel so accomplished afterwards. By far the worst part is the ‘argh!’ beforehand. Realising how true this is of, uh, pretty much everything in my life that has been worthwhile. Wondering how I work on less ‘argh!’.
– meeting D for coffee and chats on Monday
– also getting a pair of gorgeous Bordello-style heels from Topshop for a tenner thanks to the voucher I got when I left my last job.
– had a great shoot on Tuesday, the photographer was awesome, we took some hopefully fabulous photos and spent quite a long time geeking out talking about photography and him showing me how his cameras worked.
– went to the cinema on Wednesday afternoon to see a bout de souffle.
– exciting plans for the weekend
– not getting totally sucked into the doom laden ‘whys’ and not beating myself up about having them. So much difference to a very similar situation this time last year.
– getting some photos back from the shoot with Scott last week – holy cow.
– starting level 4 sn. For some reason it seems to make me feel really happy.
Wishing you all simply delightful weekends. 🙂
Potions for the crankypants, because I know when I have mine on sometimes the last thing I want is a hug. 🙂
hard:
Half the week was spent running around doing follow ups from DD#2 bicycle accident on June 17.
Insurance company made insulting offer for accident payment (dental alone could cost what they offered).
Having to step back because it’s not really my case, DD#2 is 21 and it’s her decision how to proceed. Pitbull Mama has been activated.
Anxiety. Pre-firing level anxiety.
Terrible call with my dad on father’s day. Terrible terrible terrible. Fed the rest of the week’s hard.
Good:
Found a publisher in state who may be interested in printing my artwork. Submitted portfolio and waiting to hear.
Press releases get published! http://athensnews.com/ohio/ check out “What’s Happening” 😀
Hanging the show at Donkey Coffee went really smoothly and the show looks gorgeous.
Cleaning other people’s houses for monies helped me to clean our people’s house for the goodness of us what lives here. 🙂
My cousin is out of Afghanistan!!!!
Huge rainbow yesterday.
Oatmeal and almond butter for lunch in my cool mug from MBZimmer pottery.
Shiva Napa
Hmm..
THE HARD
– I discovered a bunch of money stuff that needs some serious destuckification. And it’s going to take a lot of time to sort through all that stuck gunk.
– Someone threw a HUGE shoe at me and sent me into a crying fit of insecurity. It was so bad I almost gave up on my sweet little thing… but I didn’t.(see My Meep below)
– There was the doing of icky things, that make me want to throw up…but they did get done.
THE GOOD
– I had a lovely discussion with a cuddly monster who spoke in “Meeps” and got a really good post for my blog out of it.
– I got invited to teach more sensual movement and yoga at this awesome studio. I’m so excited that I spent an hour climbing poles & bending over backwards in glee.
– and I learned to teach this new self massage with yoga stuff and ALL my clients LOVE it. Yeah, return business. 🙂
Checking In…
The Hard:
Heartbreak
Sadness, jealousy, regret, embarrassment, hatred, anger, tiredness.
Uncertainty.
The house is a mess.
Match.com date with no spark.
The Good:
Good friends.
Olive bread with butter and a glass of rose’ wine.
The Blah:
the rain
they grey
everything else
Weeks keep flying by…
Quick,don’t think!
The hard:
Overwhelm, information overload, little action, annoyance at work.
Lot’s of questioning and anguishing about what to do next.
Thinking that I am so tired of the negativity that comes from my country. We will never get out of the hole with such horrible attitudes. I had to purge timelines and such.
The good:
Wrote on secret blog. Finished consolidating and editing old stuff and moving it to the new blog. Still password protected though.
Discovered that my monster comes in the form of a Leviathan which is not pretty. It scares me more with it’s sneaky shadow underneath the surface than by it’s actual presence. Knowing this is already a major step.
I just hope he doesn’t do a dolphin-like jump and throws me off my little boat.
I’ve been waiting for you, Friday. Even though you’re sneaky, I’m glad to see you!
The Hard:
-Things keep biting me. A tick (part of which…or whom?…is still lodged in my arm). A hot pan from the oven. *That’s* gonna scar. And some weird bugs. All over my body. Oh, the itching! To make things worse, all I have on hand is private-parts itch cream. People, it works for other parts of the body too. Even if it did expire in 2009.
-Painful feet. Still. Learning I have to avoid strenuous activity for yet another 2 more weeks. Not that I want to do much, since my feet hurt. Still.
-Low on monies.
The Good:
+Oh sweet Friday.
+Eating good stuff from the gardens.
+Enjoying the gardening care (biting bugs notwithstanding).
+Getting the urge to bake things. Yay!
+Got some good business taken care of this week.
+Keeping track of spending.
+Doing yoga, floor-based mini-workouts. Feels so wonderful to stretch, even if I can’t do it on my feet. It’s been fun getting creative — you can get in quite a decent workout by rolling around on the floor!
Hello Friday, hello fellow chickeneers,
When I think about it, not a lot of hard just a few things that suck:
– Rain, lots of it, every single day.
– Wish I could have spent this week in a place that means a lot to me, I have withdrawal symptoms because I can’t be there this year at all.
– Too many late nights and yoga-less days.
The good:
– The third public holiday in June, yeah for a free day mid-week’
– Time with husband.
– A little”event” I went to last weekend was a lot nicer than expected. Gave a little speech that made people laugh.
– A short but very touching email by someone who spends this week in the place where I can’t be.
– Lots of laughter.
The hard stuff:
some very unpleasant powerplay moments at daytime job
menstrual cramps
cold and rainy weather
absence of inspiration concerning blogposts
the good stuff:
gay street festival last weekend
meeting a friend I had not seen for more than a year and still feeling connected at once
painting BIG with @DirtyFootprints and doing a not so bad self portrait
Switching to an even bigger format to paint on
starting painting again after being stuck for more than a week
planning a permaculture design workshop in Berlin in May 2012
being invited to Orkney for two weeks in August
Happy that there is so much good stuff – thank you chicken
First things first; @Dawn, please let us know you got the tick out and are okay.
Okay, back to Chicken. I feel in good company as many also had roller coaster weeks.
For the hard:
– Someone threw a shoe at the board meeting which I promptly threw back. This was out of character for me but it was a repeat offense and the shoe thrower caused the issue the shoe was thrown over. This episode led to a…
– Revue and Reviewing the situation over the past year which led to doing…
– A “Ten Whys” interview which led to…
– Sending a letter resigning as committee chair but staying on the board.
Hard…Hard…Hard
But it was good too:
– Tuesday’s Yoga class was awesome; calming and energizing.
– So I was able to checkout of my old place an hour later for the last time and feel confident about all of my choices for moving forward with my private life.
– Because of the Revue/Reviewing and the Interview I was able to separate the specific issue with the board that I needed to ditch but stay on the board for the larger good.
– First week in has been crazy but I am so happy and slowing we’re settling in.
So happy end of the month and we’ll see everybody in July.
Hello and waving at the Friday Chickeneers of the High Seas !
The Hard stuff
+ VERY scared before this big presentation
+ two full days of traveling, airports, buses, trains
+ not sure on where-to-live-next-year
+ working through the night
+ very tired now
The Good stuff
+ this presentation went well
+ the amazing relief after
+ a wonderful dinner and one great recovery day
+ going to a movie – just for me !
& what else?
sleep now!
Best wishes Chickeneers!
Hello Chickeneers!
The Hard
-jittery at work, just not wanting to be there – especially during a major program for kids on Tuesday when the energy in the library was just nuts
-encountering hard in the marriage of good friends
-trying to practice sovereignty in above situation
The Good
-a chill weekend at work last weekend
-a lovely day off Monday with a good balance of accomplishy-ness and napping
-vacation beginning with a smooth first leg of travel yesterday
-being with good friends
-cocktails and a walk on the beach in Malibu
Happy Weekend!
Friday? What? If you say so…
This week’s hard:
– Feeling a little overwhelmed + wanting to go play except that there was stuff that *had* to be done this week.
– Really obnoxious yardpeople next door, screaming and swearing and running a bazillion blowery-mowery-chainsawy things all at the same time for a couple of days.
– I’ve been easily irritated this week; everything seems to be setting me off.
This week’s good:
– Despite the overwhelm, what absolutely had to be done got done and I did get to blow most of today off. Running errands isn’t quite a play day, but I did manage a stop at the shoe store and bought some cute shoes.
– Nice Twitter chat with some editing colleagues today.
– Great dinner with my mom and cousin for my Mom’s birthday.
Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
The week just crawled by.
The hard:
Pain, apparently caused by the weather, keeps me from sleeping or from sleeping well. But pain meds make me drowsy.
Getting so little done. I thought I’d have lots of energy and inspiration but all I do is nap.
The good:
+ Husband’s medical stuff is improving.
+ Realizing what a good life I have!
+ I had a two-week trial with a writer’s group that is pretty tough to get into and I’ve been accepted! I reworked a poem to share that night and it was well received.
Random weirdness that amused me and may be useful: an article about habitat destruction had a pun about iguana excrement: iguano! In clearing out some of my iguanas and their mess, I find that some ideas have been fertilized and are ready to take off. So if I can find some energy (I know I used to have some, where did I put it?) maybe next week will be more productive!
Isolde, what you said about Leviathan! That sneaky shadow underneath the surface. Wow.
Have a great weekend, chickeneers!
Oof. Long, long day, especially for a Friday. I am so tired, and still I want to Chicken.
Hard:
–Different parenting styles among me and my other two partners led to a very difficult and intense discussion last night.
–Not enough sleep.
Good:
–My birthday was delightful, delicious, and de-lovely.
–Reconnected with some friends from many years ago.
–Feeling generally empowered, assertive and sovereign this week.
Hugs for the hardnesses to all who want them, and sighs of joy for all the good things.
Chickening.
The week. Yes, it went, yet again. Let me think on what happened…
Hards….
– the week ended on chicken pox! Little lad’s rash showed up last night and he is a bit feverish and tired today. But he’s not too bad so that’s goodish.
– I smashed my jug full of beautiful, pasture fed, organic, free range, (expensive!) chicken stock liquid gold and it spilled all over the kitchen floor. So disappointed.
– reviewing little lad’s development gaps against mainstream school readiness requirements and the journey ahead feels long. Sussing out the best options to provide the level of challenge he needs in a safe environment. Anxiety and sadness and a few ‘why him?’s. But not too many. Because he is going to be a brilliant, eccentric, creative genius, that’s why him.
– doctors bills, even in a pretty good health system. And the phone calls to utilities didn’t get made. And the battery in the car died. Naaaaaw, I wish I was a millionaire….
– a very non-productive day at work, and still no confirmation of more work in July. Urrrggh, really AM going to have to update my resume!!
Gooooooood
+ organised my scattered project notes into four main projects. Called the money one Moo-La-La and drew a picture of a cow singing next to it which is the only part of this most procrastination-, arrrgghh- and run-away-inducing project that I like so far.
+ doctors etc all consistently pleased with little lad’s progress and the program of therapy he’s getting. Childcare very positive and cooperative around their part in catching him up where he’s lagging behind his peers.
+ hubby home for a weekend. First time in…. two months? Gasp! And not leaving again til Thursday! Yay.
+ still delighted with the farmers market I found recently. And the olives were soooooooooooo good. Laaahhrrllll *homersimpsondroolnoise*
+ noticed that whenever I go into little lad’s room at night to put his blankets back on (again) I have the tiniest twinge of “oh no what if he’s dead” horror apprehension, and he’s ALWAYS ALIVE. So brilliant and great.
+ wrote to my sister in law in the US who I love. At last!!!
+ the few blogs I follow are so great. Yay blogs.
+ winter solstice. The days will be getting longer, and the winter will be passing sooner rather than later. Turn turn turn.
That’ll do…. Bk bk bk bk BKAARK!!
xox
I guess I missed Friday this week…
The Hard:
-negotiations not going my way (other party not willing to compromise on any issue at all … wait, I guess it wasn’t really a negotiation)
-we moved buildings at work and my office computer went missing (when was the last time I backed up my data?)
-lost an entire day to the pupil dilating test at the eye doctor’s
-woke up to no power on Friday morning
-tech issues with my summer online course
The Good:
-friend in town from Germany
-contract finally signed
-yoga/chakra class with Seane Corn here in Boulder
-successful K-12 teacher workshop on Monday
-43 people signed up for my online summer class
-only one week until Prague!!!!
Cheers Chickeneers.
The Hard
dry skin week. oh, muffin.
worrying about how to get to Joshua Tree from LA
The Good
My friend M. and her house and generosity and loveliness
Thinking about Thoughts
Pranic Healing
Getting accepted to a Vipassana course
Getting to spend ALL THE TIME i WANT reading books! books about all kinds of mind-expanding things about not-being my body and hopeful futures
My first chicken…
the hard:
… not making the wedding cake of some friends with some other friends but alone and in a kind of haze
…having way too much appointments for one small week
… being still stuck on writing the first chapter of my dissertation
… worrying about school (more the system, but also about the actual school of my kids)
the good:
… still making the wedding cake after some concerns
… working on the stuck
… working on the stuck with my support group (yeah!)
… summer party at my kid’s school – meeting a lot of nice people there
… wedding party at a great location
.. going to the party location by tram with the whole wedding crowed, drinking champaign
… reading two books in a row on sunday afternoon
wow, more good than I thought (such a great tradition here!)!
best,
Beebee