Friday chickenIn which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

Sneaky, sneaky Friday! There you are.

This was a really weird and crazy week for me.

I haven’t decided yet which parts were good and which parts were hard, but that’s why we’re chickening. Let’s do this.

The hard stuff

Old pain. Having to work through it.

Hard hard hard.

Sadness.

Sometimes I miss my friend who is dead so much that I can hardly stand it.

And I want to tell him things. Nothing important or meaningful.

Just stuff.

The in-between drying season of nothing drying.

In the winter, I put the drying rack over the heating vent, and everything dries quickly. In the summer, it’s warm and everything dries quickly.

Now we’re in that in-between thing, and I have nothing to wear because everything I own is spread out over the living room in a state of not-quite-dry.

Indecision. And then all the other problems caused by that.

I put off a bunch of decisions this week because I just wasn’t in the head-space for it.

And now I have to deal with the fall-out.

The phone! Aaaaaaaagh.

So the iPhone is not just not-working. It is apparently unfixable.

Then I delayed another decision (what to do about it, when to upgrade).

And I was too late and now there won’t be a new phone for a few weeks.

And being without a phone for a week means seventeen billion (by monster-count) voice mail messages and I don’t want to listen to any of them!

HIDING. NOW.

Timing and pressures.

After three weeks of trying to get information from the derby girls about sponsorship at Championships, we get the specs.

Aaaaaaaand the ad for the program is due the following day.

Luckily my graphic designer is amazing, brilliant, speedy and always puts my stuff first. And luckily I am really good at writing copy. Off the top of my head.

Because otherwise we would have been screwed. But it was still way too stressful. And then dealing with the derby world brings up all my stuff from the yoga world, so there’s more to work on there.

Sometimes I want to run awaaaaaaaaaay.

Sometimes a lot.

Being surprised.

I was unexpectedly thrust into doing something that I wasn’t prepared for.

(It was fun and I’m glad I did it. But the way in which it happened was not supportive of me and didn’t give me what I needed to be able to do it and remain present/stable.)

The recovery time for that took a lot longer because of not getting time and space for conscious entry. Even having a minute or two would have changed the entire experience.

Still hurt and angry about something that is over.

I thought I was done with it but then I had a dream that reminded me. Not done. Very much not done.

The good stuff

Music.

The most beautiful haunting violin performance that split my heart in two and revealed another heart underneath.

Wow.

Help and support.

Lots of amazing help from Juno — without her I don’t think we’d ever have heard back from the Continental Divide & Conquer. The event we’ve been trying to sponsor.

Casey gave me her old phone to use in the meantime so that I am no longer phoneless.

The First Mate has been working overtime and being unbelievably great.

I might have a new helper mouse person in my life, and this is going to make everything better!

Sukkot.

The festival of blanket forts!

I am really loving this right now.

Dancing.

I love it.

Things working out.

Lots of perfect simple solutions showing up out of nowhere.

Fall!

Crisp air, crunchy leaves, sweaters!

The Board of Surprisers call on Monday.

I had been pretty nervous about meeting with my Board of Surprisers.

We did Show & Tell, which is my new metaphor for “presentations”.

I told them all about the new changes in my business for next year, and they were ENTHUSIASTIC.

It was so full of fun and laughter. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed a meeting like that before.

Feeling grateful and happy.

No really, I am a crazed genius!

Which is even better than being an unlikely business savant, because there’s more rainbow confetti.

Between the shivanautical epiphanies and the new systems I’ve been implementing, things are changing in the most silly and beautiful ways.

I’ll be able to tell you more when I’ve done some more Show & Tell sessions with the Enthusiastic but the point is: feeling really good about where the pirate ship is headed and all of our new adventures.

Amazing things happening at the Kitchen Table.

I am seriously in awe of the progress people are making.

Bath time and other reassuring rituals.

It all helps.

Sweetness.

Lovely cards and gifts in the mail from Leni and Kylie and Maryann and Char.

THANK YOU.

The fun part of the Chickening happens here.

Tabstravaganza! Or: what’s Havi been up to with all those open Firefox tabs?

This wonderful post from Eve.

This from Briana (she let five-year-old-her take over her yoga class, and it’s awesome).

As if I wasn’t already completely in love with @harto from My Drunk Kitchen, this video: show me where ya noms at. ADORABLE.

Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!

Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated ā€œpeople will hate me and be jealousā€ to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band might be my favorite band ever. Ever!

Public Anemone

They’re loud and kind of floaty at the same time. Shows are happening all weekend so check them out.

Though, of course, it’s really it’s just one guy.

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.

Picture me wearing that crazy hat

  1. Reminder! Plum Duff days (password: extraraisins) end MONDAY.
  2. Rally prices have to go up soon. Take a look at the 2012 schedule and make a Gwish about when/how.
  3. The Art of Embarking is really soon. And really great.

I think that’s everything? If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads this weekend.

That’s it for me ā€¦

And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.

Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.

The Fluent Self