27 Comments

1. 

   Rhiannon on March 30, 2012 at 10:12 pm

   Chicken!

   This week. Oh that weird thing where there is so much awful and so much good all rolled up together.

   The Hard:

   – Being grossed out by all foods that aren’t sugar. But crazy addicted to and made crazy by sugar. So what the hell am I supposed to eat? Also: not eating is terrifying for me. So that wasn’t good.
   – Two days of fighting with my gentleman friend, and how much it felt like the world was ending. And how much I thought he was right about everything.
   – Messiest house in the universe.
   – I can only be on the computer for fifteen minutes before I get a splitting headache. So unless my gentleman friend wants to drop all the 50 bajillion other things he’s doing and type for me, nothing gets done.
   – Someone told me all my feelings were precious. And I decided I’m once more keeping lists, and she’s on the bad list. Maybe I mean it slightly ironically? Maybe I’m not absolutely filled with pointless rage?
   – I tried to ask for help and didn’t get it. And I actually *didn’t* fall into my giant spiral of how I’m convinced I have no friends, but it was a close thing. Mostly I’m frustrated that I’m not better at asking.

   The Good:

   – I called my dearest most darling friend and she was perfect and told me to just eat sugar and I did and it wasn’t as bad as not eating anything. And then I realized I wanted tacos and I made them and ate them and they were good and stayed down.
   – My mother is coming tomorrow! She’s driving nine hours for the privilege of cleaning my apartment, cooking my meals, washing my laundry, and typing up blog posts for me. It’s going to be brilliant.
   – I am kind of peeking through all of this pain and learning things I was curious about. It’s very profound and may some day be something like “precious” even if I still insist on mentally punching anyone who dares to say that word to me.
   – My gentleman friend is a humble, kind, endlessly-forgiving genius. And he came up with a brilliant plan for the next time things get this way. And apologized for not thinking of it sooner. And then he gave me a massage.
   – GNR bout tomorrow! I wanted to wear something really special, so we went shopping this morning, and I couldn’t find anything revealing or sexy, but I got a pink polka-dotted muumuu! And it is hilarious and awesome and I’m so excited. Also a tiger striped scarf I can wave about while screaming. I have been practicing all day (when not occupied with sleeping or barfing).
   – The trip to Ashland was surprisingly amazing (in the end). Napping in the sun with a Boston Terrier on your lap is a beautiful thing. And the jacuzzi bathtub? Bliss.
   – I get to teach Shiva Nata tomorrow! It’ll be so much fun!!
   – Those crazy pregnancy stretch thingies that hold up your jeans when you can’t get them to button? Brilliant. Very much easier to breathe now.

   Reply
2. 

   Corie Weaver on March 30, 2012 at 10:19 pm

   Oh Havi, so much wonderful good! And totally agreed – this was a very, very long week.

   The Hard.
   Finding out that the person I’ve been waiting on a decision from apparently has nothing to do with the answer. But everyone, including this person, kept telling me to wait. Grr.

   Finding out that the cats I was suppose to transport are completely feral – therefore needing trapping, not just getting popped into a carrier.

   The Good
   Huge amounts of internal work, with lots of giggling and mental poppings.

   Clarity on the next steps of my cunning plan.

   An adventure day last weekend, and a mini-retreat this weekend. Hopefully will put some of the plan in action, but it may just be more brilliant planning. And I’m feeling pretty ok with that.

   Wine and cheese with old friends for the first time in over a year. Fabulous conversation about everything and nothing.

   My pansies successfully overwintered, and are blooming like madness.

   Many sparkles for all chickeneers!

   Reply
3. 

   Beth Freeman on March 30, 2012 at 10:32 pm

   Glee! for new Stompopolis – fun to hear about it this week. This week = quite great.

   Fondle the goods:
   -Wow! I gumptioned up and went to a doctor – and I found the most lovely and affordable (?!) one in Denver (called Ardas).
   -And I got the thyroid pills which I only halfway thought would make a difference. Friction-free.
   -And… placebo or not – I. Feel. SO. Much. Better.
   -Loooong funk of nothingness = over. With 2 days of medicine.
   -I don’t think I’ll ever stop gushing about the weather – it matters so much! Beautiful sun = happy Beth.
   -Eeek! I pulled together a tiny sweet yoga studio in our garage! I can teach private lessons at home anytime now… would be great for gatherings of 2-6 shivanauts too…
   -I like cleaning… when it’s for a tiny sweet thing like a new yoga studio where there was none before.

   And also fondle the hards? (tee-hee!)
   -un-funk didn’t happen until Thursday – many days of avoiding everything (but books)
   -the insomnia I caused myself by doing Shiva Nata too enthusiastically in a quest for sleep
   -lovely clients needing to quit for sad reasons (heartwarming goodbye though)
   -a bit sick gunky cold.

   Huzzah huzzah to the return of optimism!

   Reply
4. 

   Gin on March 31, 2012 at 1:13 am

   @Beth – haha! Fondling! *snickers*

   —

   My Chicken:

   The Hard:
   – Fail on Bunny Arrangement. Feeling responsible for this Fail, even though etc. etc.
   – Shoes! So many shoes, all at once! From one person, in one email. Like having a crowd’s worth of shoes hurled at me!
   – Not listening to slightly-future-me and realizing that I should have, because now I have more stuff to do that I thought I was done with already. (should! *notices*)
   – No sleep, again. Or rather, only 4 hours a night. It is less the duration of sleep, and more that I do not properly turn off even during sleep that is bothersome. Perhaps I could try sleeping in grand fashion.
   – My friends are having melt-downs! And I feel responsible for making sure they feel loved and have someone to talk to/lean on (me!) – but this is hard for two reasons: I am exhausted and can’t find it in me to fully “be there” for any desirable measure of presence, and it is “that time of year” where everything feels like it will fall apart if I am not “all there,” which makes it hard to spend time with friends.
   – Things feeling like they’ll fall apart
   – Dehydration! Because I have re-started drinking coffee (eep!) and do not have drinkable water where I live, and because I have not been putting in the extra effort it takes to take care of myself.
   – Forgetting to eat (where “forgetting” actually means intentionally not eating. Sigh.)
   – Feeling like I depend on people too much, wanting to withdraw, being afraid to ask for help with a few things.
   – My favourite poet/mentor/theorist/activist died this week at 82. The grief was intense and unexpected.

   The Good:
   – Things not *actually* falling apart, even though I feel that they might (monsters?)
   – Asking for help with some things anyways.
   – Dealing with grief in a good way.
   – Noticing that a friend-who-is-in-pain is actually very good at taking care of herself and knowing what she needs. Admiring this in her and invoking superpowers.
   – Shoes! The good kind. And clothes! For free! At this cool clothing-swap thing on campus. Got rid of all my un-worn and too big clothes as well. Yippee!
   – None of the other shoes landed. Not one. I feel proud of myself. Sovereignty ftw!
   – Finding and remembering to use the perfect metaphor for writing essays: making love to my essays. It’s perfect! Because you need gentleness and skill and presence for both!
   – Yoga! My back is happy.
   – Lovely friends and Guardians.
   – Feeling more-or-less okay, despite the non-self-care and despite the monsters shouting loudly about what needs to be done. I’d like to do some stone-skipping around how/why this is the case, so I can re-create this mental space when I need it.

   <3 to all!

   Reply
5. 

   Hannah on March 31, 2012 at 1:46 am

   The Hard

   – stuck on some stuff feeling stuck.not making (enough) progress ‘in the hard’. hiding from the office still + related anxiety

   – face problems having allergies/eczemia in my face again. this brings back memories from stressful times at college and the writing of the master thesis – which is the other two times this happened. Those times last 1,5 years and 1 year, respectively. So much pain of not feeling pretty and also fearing there is no solution etc. And having doctors take blood and pieces of my skin and nobody telling me what was going on. And that happened this week, too – the doctor tried some stuff that I knew was not gonna work and then she go very pissed off when I tried to tell her that.

   – stuff with friends Specifically a friend I used to be close with retreating in a world of everything-is-perfect. And that happened before but it feels like we lost touch and like there is no trust. Also there are cultural aspects but it still makes me feel small and the not-good-kinda-vulnerable.

   The Good

   + softness – working in the soft to be precise. lot’s of floop time and understanding of patterns. realizing graduation is ‘just one door’.

   + bike + haircut + gym subscription I got all of those. Had been postponing all of those for weeks. So I am set for more body time.

   + time with incoming me – who is comfortale, souvereign. not outwardly strong but inwardly present. so much easier to be her.

   Wheeeee. Fairy dust for everyone!

   Reply
6. 

   Jane on March 31, 2012 at 2:35 am

   Ah, this week. It has been intense.

   Huzzah for all the awesomeness happening at the new Playground. 🙂

   The hard:

   {silent retreat!}{silent retreat!}{silent retreat!}

   The imbeciles running this country.

   Related: not going out to the countryside this afternoon because of the difficulty in getting petrol.

   Too much scrolling on the laptop is vexing my hand.

   Realising yesterday that ‘efficiencies’ to the trains mean that a long-standing and much used coastal service has been cancelled. Adding 50% more time onto the trip I wanted to make. The weaselness of describing higher costs and worse service as efficiency.

   The winter of sick had me forgetting how essential movement is. Back to regular energy levels this week was amazing but also lead to not sleeping so well because have got out of the habit of at least an hour of moving a day.

   The good:

   Energy! All of a sudden I’m back to pre-November energy levels. I’m no longer bone tired by 9pm most days, or needing to sleep 10 hours every night. It feels so good.

   The weather. Hello gorgeous.

   Three much needed and appreciated beachside walks – beautiful!

   Feeling like I’m stepping into myself with my photography. Dreaming big dreams and neither freaking out about them being impossible or pressurising myself to make them happen right now.

   Getting tiny sweet things ready to come into the world, and intense + beautiful stuff happening in the soft. Being so grateful to have been given the amazingness of Ardis to unfold and the circumstances in which to do it.

   Although one of the things that I’m silent retreating is hard, I also have faith that it’s the right thing to be happening now. And may have silver linings.

   Seeing awesome reactions in my community to the aforesaid idiocy of the government: students occuping their school in protest at teachers being made redundant (and being supported in it by their headmaster), pop up shops movement, people donating books to the library (and planning on doing the same myself).

   Absorbing and living all the radical persepctive changes of the last few weeks.

   Ah. Exhale.

   Reply
7. 

   Claire P on March 31, 2012 at 3:40 am

   Hello

   Hard stuffs
   – soooo chaotic floaty no routine unstructured what ummm I don’t know brainfog me have some brain when I don’t know what next ummm zzzzz

   – ouch boobs. And ouch pelvic floor (what’s that muscles? You’re sore?? Really? Maybe that’s cos you’re not bloody well supposed to work so bloody ‘efficiently’ that you push a bloody baby out in an hour and a half! What was the damn hurry?? It was very much NOT fun you know. Even less fun than the normal kind of ‘intense’. And now you’ve done yourself an injury and whining about it? And you want me to feel sorry for you? Yeah. Right. Do you not realise that I am still pissed at you? Well, I am. So suck it. Also OUCH!)

   – Ahem.

   – toooo much to do for two adults to manage. Damn nuclear family set-up. I want my commune already.

   – money bureaucracy paperwork bullshit gezundheit (sp???)

   – will I ever start functioning in the brain way slash general organised routine having normal human being how does everyone else doooooo eeeeeet????waaaaaaah.

   Good stuff

   + naaaawww shnoooky moooky shwubba bubba have you sheen my baby she’s soooo shweeeet looky she just shpewed up all over me isn’t she sho beeyoudiful?!!?

   + little lad keeps doing good. Has started reciting and reenacting fairy tales and voluntarily taking himself outside to play with his trucks (imaginative play!). And he is interacting a whole lot more with kids at kinder. And his OT reckons my floppy bendy stretchy boy is getting much better core strength so that actually keeping himself upright all day is not completely exhausting in and of itself. So, yay.

   – instead of continued silence and refusal to connect husband comes in and says ‘Claire I want to communicate with you.’ And only occasionally falling into highly defensive ouchy talking. It all worked in the end and both felt much better.

   + making some very slow progress on getting the brain fogged mess of my life sorted and organised….

   See you cheeps. I’m off to bed. xo

   Good stuff

   Reply
8. 

   Claire P on March 31, 2012 at 4:08 am

   Also hard: goddamn flies!!! Gaaaaah!! Screw you Australia!!!

   Reply
9. 

   mary on March 31, 2012 at 5:15 am

   Thank you
   The hard
   silent retreat on that but I asked for help. and friends, caring friends stepped up.

   the good
   affirmations all over. and a dream from when I was younger come true and manifest in my life and I was paid. how good is that? sense of blossoming lotus flower from muddy pond.

   Reply
10. 

    Cherilyn on March 31, 2012 at 6:49 am

    The hard:
    –Busy/lazy cycle that’s not serving me anymore. Looking for ways of smoothing this rather than escaping. Looking for ways to plant seeds, leave future me gifts rather than this binge/purge cycle.

    –Another cycle of grief over the big hard move we had to do last year. Found pics of the old house on my phone and Hot Husband and I couldn’t look at them. Too painful. Still not feeling comfortable here for many reasons. Lotsa those teenage thoughts of Who are we? How do we fit in?

    — Trying to lay the path for My Big Thing while homeschooling three boys. Love them, hate the pattern of nagging.

    –Scared about this BIG project I agreed to do but really shouldn’t have and now I’m avoiding and procrastinating.

    The good:
    –Connection with an old friend and an offer of support.

    –Two bike dates with Hot Husband in four days. Bike time is so nourishing.

    –Discovered that my favorite new thing to do is ask, “What do I need right now?” and I don’t need to be afraid that the answer is “chocolate.” I really do know what I need.

    –Sunshine! Warmth! A nap in the sun!

    –Get to pick a new cool thing to learn for April!

    Reply
11. 

    Katie Hart on March 31, 2012 at 7:46 am

    Cheers Chickeneers!

    The Hard:
    – all the crap that goes with air travel (airport food, TSA gropings, hurry/wait)
    – being off my routine
    – visiting a friend’s workplace and realizing I could make 3x my current salary if I moved from academia to a trading group, but not wanting to do that, but then also sort of wanting to do that

    The Good:
    – seeing my brothers-in-law, a good friend, and former colleagues all on the same business trip
    – staying at The Drake hotel (there is just something lovely about it)
    – turning off my work email and not checking it while traveling (Damn It!)

    Reply
12. 

    Lori Paximadis on March 31, 2012 at 9:04 am

    Hello, Chicken.

    This week’s hard:
    – Family Stuff. Feeling helpless and inadequate and possibly guilty about not stepping in and being more persistent years ago to deal with the underlying issues, even though they’re not mine to deal with, but I know things about this and could have helped, and gah, gah, gah. [Silent retreating on the rest.]
    – Unforeseen difficulty with new project for new client ate my play day.
    – The super-awesome push-me-outside-my-box art class I was looking forward to in May is probably going to be cancelled for lack of signups.
    – A tour through leftover jewelry pieces, pulling apart, realizing that I’m all over the place stylewise and that I need to develop some focus if I ever want to take this anywhere beyond where it is now. And do I? Or do I just want to play?

    This week’s good:
    – Wonderful Awesome Hubby.
    – Beautiful things in the garden to look at while I work.
    – Magical listmaking.

    Happy weekend, Chickeneers!

    Reply
13. 

    Mechaieh on March 31, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Hard:

    * car trouble
    * friend trouble
    * wrist/head/skin/weight issues
    * not getting to things
    * not getting things — both in the sense of acquiring/winning them and in the sense of understanding them
    * urgency monsters ZOMG

    Good:

    * house and dinner guests
    * vastly amusing a friend when (admittedly in a frenzy of cleaning) I accidentally typed “housegusts” 🙂
    * being selected as a finalist in a poetry contest
    * book sales!
    * … and, this morning, seeing the book ranked #26 at amazon.co.uk in Asian American poetry!
    * and receiving some lovely reviews, both publicly and in private correspondence
    * a private lesson on a Pilates reformer machine. My favorite LivingSocial deal to date.
    * hitting high Fs with ease during chamber choir rehearsal
    * signing the contract for a poem to be published this summer
    * cute shoes on sale 🙂

    Grateful thanks to you all and all of your good wishes, and wishing to you in return ease and space and magnification of good things.

    *cheerfully showering us all with azalea and rose petals*

    Reply
14. 

    Leocadia on March 31, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Hello dear Havi and chickeneers around the globe, this is always such a perfect place to come back to on a Friday or any other chicken amnesty day. So grateful it exists!

    The hard:
    – It is so damn cold again after it was almost summer for a week.
    – Money monsters are happily monstering around.
    – The Here and Now seems sometimes far away.
    – Constant multitasking at work sends whirlwinds through my brain and mind.
    – Having to hand my job back over to someone who I know won’t be doing it with the same love and care and attention.

    The good, and lots of it:
    – Weekend with dear friend and her kids and it was sunny and warm and wonderful.
    – Even after seeing friend’s newborn and talking to two other friends who are about to give birth I still feel totally ok about the fact that I am not in Bolivia and never will be.
    – I invested in a pillow that cost a fortune but that makes my neck feel so much better in the morning. And I was given it at half price (but still a fortune for a pillow).
    – I found two rings I haven’t worn for ages, I like the stone of one and the frame of the other, and I found a goldsmith who will recycle them into one at a very reasonable price and it will be beautiful.
    – I have 9 more days in my current job and people are lovely and tell me that they don’t want me to leave.
    – I got two totally unexpected and very thoughtful little present by people who are basically strangers.
    – Preparations for the new job promise good team work.

    Reply
15. 

    Risa on March 31, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    Very strange week, this week. I can’t remember a lot of it, which is unusual for me.

    Ouch Hard:

    – Stomach/digestive woes from last week increasing to the extreme.

    – Other wackadoo bodystuffs and in particular, skinstuffs.

    – Many strange and troublesome dreams.

    – Asked for what I want and won’t get it for a long time.

    – Woke up at 4:30 am to fly 2 hrs to another city to give a 1-hr presentation, and due to plane schedules I didn’t get back home until 9:30 pm. Nasty jetlag response to that even though it was in the same time zone.

    – Hella angst over lost packages and lost checks related to Spacemess and new Possible Space.

    – Unable to complete things I’m trying to write – blog posts, Floop posts, promised book reviews, etc. The ensuing disappointment over that.

    Whee Good Woofs Woofs:

    * As of 3:40 pm on Friday we are finally confirmed to move into our newer, bigger space!!! *pheeew* *YAAAY*

    * While I will not get what I want, the reasoning was explained to me and made sense. I then asked for the needed part of the want and I have been promised I will get that part no matter what 🙂

    * MMM misty weather twice this week.

    * Two friends notified me about their weddings this week – I am so happy-yaay for both of them!

    * Thinking a lot about writerly things in a way that makes me very happy.

    * Continuing Enthusiastics with the Lovelyman.

    * Have tickets for Dead Can Dance reunion tour this summer!!

    Loads of support/love/heart-sighs towards everyone and their goods and hards. Mwahs to all who want them, and respect and joy to all others.

    Reply
16. 

    VickiB on March 31, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    It feels like a really long week; a lot has happened.

    The Good:
    It is surprising the weight that the small, good things in life have against life’s problems.
    — Margaret Fraser

    Some of these good things that are not-so-small!

    Sitting outside nearly every day. Sunshine. Flowers in bloom. Flowering trees.

    Deep tissue massage. Ow, the pain! I love it.

    Being able to help two people via reiki and nutritional counseling. Which I am not “expert” in. Just overqualified by life experience.

    The Art Institute of Chicago! Where I went on the train.

    The train! I spent seven hours reading instead of driving. And the seats fit.

    Getting a new car. It sucks that I had to do it now because I wrecked the other car last week. It sucks that we don’t have decent public transportation. But now I have a small car at an affordable price.

    MrB’s foot looks significantly better so he may be out of the wheelchair sooner rather than later. My neck and shoulders and back will be grateful.

    One more week of teaching at the community college.

    A book called 14,000 Things to Be Happy About.

    The Hard:

    Pain. Mine and MrB’s. His means he can do less, so I have to do more of the things that must be done, and then I end up doing less of what I want to.

    Weird money stuff. Not liking it. Not sure I can trust someone to do what they said they would do.

    Weird computer thing.

    The one kind of tree pollen that I am allergic to. It seems to be everywhere right now.

    The Boomerang Boy going psychotic and having to be hospitalized but not for long enough to get him really stabilized.

    Also him not being around to help me get MrB’s wheelchair out of the truck and up the ramp. Which happened a lot this week.

    A hard, scary, sick-making email that I have to send. It’s written. I just have to push the button. I don’t want to. I want X to go on ignoring my existence. But.

    I think I need to read that book before and after I send the email. And give myself a reward for sending it and a big reward if I have to cope with the kind of crap that I expect to get in response.

    Love to all the chickeneers. Yay for the good, hugs for the hard.

    Reply
17. 

    Kate on March 31, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    That’s My Polar Bear! I love that band! 🙂

    Hi, Weekend Chicken! Lovely to see you!

    The Good!

    {Silent Retreat} – but smiling so much! 🙂

    Tulips blooming everywhere! Tulips are the best!

    Lots of laughter!

    Posting a new Andy blog post! I had been stuck for a month, so this is huge!!!

    The Hard

    Wanting and waiting

    Forgetting that now is not then

    Reply
18. 

    Kathleen Avins on March 31, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    Just stopping by to give the Chicken a quick hug.

    Hard:
    –Astonishingly low energy and mental fogginess. Was this all related to my monthly cycles? If so, it’s time to pay more attention to vitamins and nutrition.
    –Again/still with the congestion making singing difficult.

    Good:
    –Open mic! Such a pleasant, comfortable venue; such lovely, lovely people.
    –Not one, but two scary things that happened to my guitar this week were expertly and tenderly handled by my sweetie, and all is well.

    Reply
19. 

    Max Daniels on April 1, 2012 at 4:45 am

    I thought it would be hard, but it wasn’t. It was amazing! I offered free coaching to any and (almost) all comers so that I could make recordings to give my teacher for critique. It was like Restaurant Week for coaching! All kinds of people signed up. I thought I would be overwhelmed but it has been luscious and spacious and easy and holy crap I think I have to say it: MORE PLEASE!

    So I will probably do this again, just like they do Restaurant Week, or DineLA, or whatever it’s called. I’ll come up with something fun to call it. And offer free or low-cost coaching two weeks out of the year. See what happens. Yes, I am digging this idea!

    Planning for April’s trip to London and Paris. It takes me years to get someplace, and then I act as if it’s a scouting trip for the real trip, which is yet to come. Why? WHY? There is for sure something juicy to investigate here. Anyway, while in Paris, I very much want to eat at Yam T’cha. Finger-crossing appreciated!

    It was a bit difficult Middle child’s college letters are all in. She has a couple good choices, but didn’t get her top picks. Two things about that: Motherhood is a true test of sovereignty, and SHIT SHIT SHIT! I don’t have an excuse to travel to the place I was kinda hoping to have an excuse to travel to. SHIT.

    I thought it would be good, and it was! Saw the Tallis Scholars doing music from the Field of the Cloth of Gold in an unheated all-marble church, and I remembered to wear enough layers to be comfortable. They are so beautiful. Swoon!

    Went to a deep, deep place with a client. In a way, I kinda live for that. Very beautiful.

    It has been unimaginably easy Finally, and I don’t think I’ve written about this here before, I have started to tune into my body’s feelings about food at a level of detail that I’ve never had access to before. And I am – and, yes, this has not been hard! – at a weight now, at 50, that I haven’t seen since grade school. All new places with body. Shiva Nata is sure helping. Oh, yes.

    Reply
20. 

    Max Daniels on April 1, 2012 at 4:48 am

    Whoopsie, I forgot to say:

    1. Hi, Chickeneers! I love that we are here together. HAVI, thanks for this.

    2. YAY, destruction! Just: YAY!!!!

    Reply
21. 

    Mechaieh on April 1, 2012 at 5:23 am

    Hard:

    * Rejection
    * Exhaustion
    * Car trouble

    Good:

    * Sales of my book and reviews and nice messages about it. (Thanks for the good wishes, y’all!)
    * Contract for another poem
    * Introvert rescue

    Wishing everyone a wonderful week.

    Reply
22. 

    Mechaieh on April 1, 2012 at 5:29 am

    (P.S. Apologies if two chickens from me appear to be roosting here — I was under the impression the first chicken had vanished.)

    (Is “The Vanished Chicken” already one of the bands? *grin*)

    Reply
23. 

    Mechaieh on April 1, 2012 at 5:29 am

    (P.S. Apologies if two chickens from me appear to be roosting here — I was under the impression the first chicken had vanished.)

    (Is “The Vanished Chicken” already one of the bands? *grin*)

    Reply
24. 

    Loon on April 1, 2012 at 8:55 am

    Eeep! I don’t know where my Chicken went but ’tis good because I made a mistake on it and have more to add.

    Re-chickening:

    The Hard:
    – Oh my god the hard! Lots of worry about a friend who is not doing well. At all.
    – Assignments that do not seem to end.
    – Fail on Bunny Arrangement.
    – My favourite poet/thinker/mentor died last week and the grief was very unexpected.
    – Sleep. Not enough of it. (and guilt if I do sleep)
    – Dehydration, because of return to coffee and unwillingness to take care of self.
    – Feeling like I’m coming down with something.
    – Shoes, being thrown by the truckload.
    – More stuff to do because I did not listen to slightly future me.
    – Misdirected anger – feeling used, even though I put myself in that situation. A more sovereign me would not be feeling this way, because she would have politely declined.
    – Sheer exhaustion.

    The good:
    – Free clothes from clothing swap! Got rid of too-big clothes too.
    – None of the shoes landed.
    – Lovely friends and Guardians.
    – Not dropping balls.
    – Discovered a new tea place.
    – Made plans with lovely friends for the pride parade! Excitement!
    – Noticed that the friend-who-is-unwell does a very good job of finding out what she needs and going for it. Admiring this in her and invoking the superpower.
    – Flowers!

    Happy weekend, Chickeners 🙂

    Reply
25. 

    Ailbhe on April 2, 2012 at 6:45 am

    Did some baby Shiva Nata from the starter pack while waiting for my DVD to arrive.

    Unstuck a pattern, I think. A bit. At least, I bought myself something new, quite expensive, and non-essential – a lovely bike. And it’s mine, not my partner’s for me to use, not actually for the kids but for me to use for their benefit, just mine. And I love it. And now I can go back to cycling and maybe get a little fit again, and not be at the mercy of public transport, and it will all be glorious.

    Mind you, three years without cycling made the first very short trip quite something on my poor ole legs. Ah well.

    Reply
26. 

    Leni on April 2, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Oy, such a mixed bag this week:

    Suck:
    -worrying about the CT scan
    -blowing off all my self-care and body wisodm when I needed it. insomnia turned into a migriane when I “forgot” about my herbal sleep suplement, my new rose tea, just getting up ans reading for 30 minutes and trying it again. This happened a lot last week
    -as in, I know sugar is not my friend. If I amke a choice to eat a sweet, I know there are consequences in how i feel, and potential headache triggers. So fdoes eating even a tiny slice of ice cream cske make sense? No. I felt horrible and it didn t even taste veyr ggood.
    -I’m really trying to Not Chase the Cat. I get misled because Kitty seems to wants pets. Ouch, when that fails
    -also, NOt Chasing the Cat seems to make me suisceptible to FRiendly Dawgs. THis is not what I want.
    -the sstruggle between keeping the Domestic Tranquility nice and high and desperately wanting to tell people to pound sand

    the Good:
    -CT scan not as bad as I feared
    -went to Ballet/pilates class last monday, and nVintyasa on Saturday
    -decided to start juicing again
    -finsihing another chapetr, being SO CLOSE todone with 2 others.
    -better food, and a desire to eat better. I really dont want ice cream or hamburgers anymore.
    -Flailing and yoga more. so happyt
    -LOTS of Bing! even though I’m not really learning anythiong new in my SHiva Nata practie. The work continues.
    -the writing is coming along! the prime in in the pump and it’s all I can not to just type til I fall over. The first book is half finsihed and the next one is pushing like made to tet out.
    -flweoring trees. tulips, warm temps. so very nice

    Reply
27. 

    choirqueer on April 2, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    THE HARD…
    +conference call! i love the people, but oh boy do i hate conference calls. stuff stuff stuff.
    +anxiety about Rainbow Bridge
    +our choir has lost a bass! bluuuuuuuuuuu!
    +so many phone calls! so much planning!
    +protecting my Stuff with a well-intentioned, many-questions-asking friend
    +trying to stop driving at night.
    +going to the EyeDoc
    +financial assistance requests
    +Scary Envelopes
    +beginning of Superhero Tablets
    +accepting that Project Double Bubble didn’t go as planned
    +no response to Invitations to Swim Lessons…again
    +feeling overbooked, leading to self-judgment about the level of bookedness i can handle
    +Gender Stuff! Other people and their gender stuff that makes me want to curl up in a ball and sob because I feel invisible and furious that I can’t protect all the children in the world from being gendered against their will

    THE WARM AND FUZZY…
    +green beans!!!
    +journaling every day
    +Chicken Board!
    +Shiva Nata moment: I can unlearn things! Established patterns are not permanent! Even things that I don’t think can change CAN CHANGE!
    +reading The Book of Qualities! and I Am J!

    FWOOOOOSH!! *sound of chicken wings flapping*

    Reply