In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Man, time. I don’t know where it’s going.
Somehow this week just kind of happened.
Let’s see.
The hard stuff
You know what? Let’s start with today.
I generally try to avoid having meetings and such on Fridays because the Book of Me is very clear on how this invariably ends up screwing my weekend.
But today was all meetings all day. And about eight different buses. It was hellish.
All I want is for Friday to be a long relaxing graceful side into exit.
And a bath.
Ow ow.
Super ridiculously sore because of going back to dance class after two months hiatus, due to [personal].
[personal].
The thing I’ve been going through is still a thing. Better than before, but still taking up most of my time and energy.
Related, I can’t concentrate at all.
Seriously my attention span is limited to maybe getting an hour of work done a day until I can’t do any more.
Which is kind of a problem because we are CRAZY FREAKING BUSY with the new space.
Sunday afternoon.
Crying for hours on end because of old narrative and basically being deep in my stuff and the stories, in the helpless and the grief, thinking it would be forever.
Knowing, of course, the truth: that none of it is about me.
But still sad.
Haircut.
Grumble, change, grumble, adjust, grumble.
Wally is gone for a MONTH, what will I dooooooooooo?!
Physical therapy addict, it is me.
Not hearing a thing I wanted to hear.
In three different ways. And then being so in my pain about the not hearing.
Impatience.
Specifically wanting changes at Hoppy House and the new Playground to happen faster than they’re happening.
Unforseen problems and challenges.
The leak in the Treasure Cave (that’s the treatment room we’re opening at Stompopolis) meant the carpet had to dry out and then the carpet cleaners had to come, and now the ceiling tiles need to be replaced….
Agonizing waiting plus frustration plus expense plus worry.
I want to tell people about a thing but I can’t.
See also: [personal].
The good stuff
Roller derby league championships!
Every minute of it.
Hanging out with friends, beating the Heathers, the incredibly exciting last jam overtime bout of craziness, just being in a state of joy.
Change.
Things that were disharmonious coming into new and much more pleasant configurations.
Sunday night.
Everything that was not good became good again. Not really in any way related to the things that had seemed painful, more just the perfect distraction. And a reminder that actually no, things are beautiful.
Sunday night was luminous.
Oh sweetness.
And then the perspective that comes from sweetness.
Lighting! Finally installed.
I know, it’s been months that we’ve been waiting on this.
Everything looks better now.
Small miracles. And yoga.
There was magic in the air.
Back to dancing!
Everything is better when I’m dancing.
Reconnecting.
Something that was broken came back together.
A wish granted.
One of my Very Personal Ads from Monday was for some clearing of the air in a way that is sweet and harmonious, and it happened!
I absolutely didn’t think that was possible but then it was!
My brain!
All the amazing Shiva Nata I did this week was doing the craziest things. Epiphanies and realizations all over the place. Catching things in mid-air. Undoing old patterns. Replacing stuck pieces with flow.
I am in awe of the whole damn thing.
Body.
This is where I live.
And some times this is hard and painful. But this week it felt like home.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is:
From The Park
They’re shaggy-haired goofballs who play banjo. And sometimes kazoo.
Though, of course, it turns out that it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
The thing that saved my ass a thousand times this week when things were scary and painful was the monster manual & coloring book. So I’m recommending that.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Follow
Chicken!
The Hard:
– It was AWFUL! Silent retreat on the details.
The Good:
– Met with a realtor and got the whole “looking for a house” thing going. Also, possible house though maybe only a 30% chance we could move ahead on it.
– Wedding stuff is mostly done. Could easily be done in an hour if there were a hypothetical hour in which my brain worked. Anyways, good week to take off because I’m not behind at all.
– More money than I thought I’d have, which means a few very essential things get paid for. Like:
– New bras! Much larger size! No more crying when I get dressed!!
– My gentleman friend made a bunch of money selling his possessions on eBay and used a small portion of it to take me to the Grilled Cheese Grill and then to a picnic in my favorite park and it was perfect.
Oh, this was a really good week. I floated along on happiness… my friend referred to it as “the incredible lightness of being Vicki”.
Was there hard?
Yes, there was. I had pain and I had to do errands that I didn’t want to do but that was only a blip on the screen this week.
The good was very good. People I love are healthy and getting healthier and doing good things for themselves. Some “table magic” is happening. Medical tests coming back with good results. I’m able to do more of the self care things that I enjoy doing and have not had to push myself at all this week to do any of it. And so much more.
Someone said that to be happy, you need someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. And I have all of that.
Contented sighs, smiles, gentle Yays. And wishing everyone the same.
The hard: being in New York. Not seeing a particular person. Walking everywhere.
The good: being in New York. Not seeing a particular person. Walking everywhere.
😀
Bkark chickeneers!
Hards:
– Thursday daytime
– cranky baby
– cranky husband
– still not completely in the aaaww-look-my-people-are-in-their-stuff-hhmmmmhmm-compassion state as default reaction to crankiness
Goods:
+ milk influx on Thurs night = oh I’ve felt like shit all day because of hormones. Der. But good.
+ Jen Louden’s blog post on triumph stories feeding into ‘ugh I’m a loser’ comparisonitis and the reminder to release, release, release
+ followed by more brain melting and releasing myself from expectations and ‘shoulds’
+ most of the rest of the week when I just felt good and sweet and everything-is-okay
Yum.
OMFG this week.
Hard:
* unpleasant collision with learning curve
* inconvenient epiphanies
* traffic
* exhaustion
* reconciling what I want to make vs. what I have time to make
Good:
* clients pleased with my work
* clinched first place in French Open WTA Suicide Pool. \o/
* receiving unsolicited compliments and thanks
* clarity about some problematic schtuffs
* sweet doggies and sexy devils 😉
Shabbat shalom, all y’all!
Love for your chickens!
The Hard:
– A couple of moments of hormonal weakness — lack of consistency in my character annoys me.
– Packing and moving is the worst. I’m worried that we’re leaving it all to the last minute, which is my number 1 pet hate.
– Still no progress on the career front. I feel so lost and don’t know what I want to work towards.
The Good:
Oh my, the good.
– We have somewhere to live for the foreseeable future! Also, no more dealing with scum-of-the-earth real estate agents, landlords and the like. No more paying bond that we never see again because real estate agents are scummy. No more living in a hovel that is so tiny I want to cry.
– We have had some incredible financial luck recently. After several months of living on a shoestring and eating beans, this is a very welcome change.
– Have enjoyed the best mental health I have experienced in over four years. The good thoughts are far outweighing the bad.
This week gets a big ol’ smiley face 🙂
Hello hello Chicken and Chickeneers! For some reason I like #201 🙂
Yay June chickening! Loads of love to everyone.
My Ouch Hards:
– The work-crazies spawned several unfortunate drama-ramas.
– Grief processing, and trying to find the right Space for it.
– Breaking down with the Lovelyman after a very difficult day.
– A change in medication led to me missing something very important to me.
– Quite a few headaches.
– One of the cats started behaving oddly.
My Whee Goods:
* “Things are beautiful if you love them”
* Figuring out a way to drive to work 2 days this past week, which meant halving my commute.
* The double rainbow yesterday.
* Lovelyman responding really marvelously to the breakdown. Massive stuff unstuck because of it.
* Excellent scrounge food.
* The puppins being happy, bouncy, and still comfortably *running* (yay!) at 14 and a half (& blind).
Hoping for a beautiful and ease-filled week for all.
hi.
the suck:
-the surgery. the miles of suck
-why are people such douche nozzles?
-watchign the hospitl tv programming. christ you show this shit to sick people?
-pausing long enough in front of a Chritsian ministry show to get angry. why do i do this to myslef? i was curious, i regret it.
-completely depleted, no spoons, feeling vulnerable, some betrayed trust
-plus a headache! why not?
the good:
-excellent care
-good outcomes
-good su[pprt at home
-i’m tougher than i look
Howdy and Happy Chicken!
Where to start with this week…..?
The Hard:
~sick baby *only* wanted one mama (this mama) and *had* to sleep on/near me while tossing and turning and crankling; this led to 2.5 hours of sleep for me and calling out sick from work because…i just couldn’t
~and during the day he was whiny and clingy and generally miserable to be around — plus i was pms-y, which left me feeling even less tolerant and compassionate…ugh!
~we moved to another dorm; maybe not “hard” per se, but tedious, dirty, sweaty, sore, disorganized, and the amateur movers we hired banged up the crib pretty badly (we got what we paid for!)
~raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain
~extensive water damage to our house via a leaking pipe; plenty of mold and mildew and many walls that need to be replaced…ugh!
The Good:
~the sun finally came out and when it did it was just amazing
~dyke march
~insurance will likely pay for the repairs
~new dorm space is gorgeous and already feels like home, boxes and all
~friendly co-travelers/commuters
~a good massage when i needed it most
~the baby now has his own room and he slept in it last night and it was all ok (in spite of my reservations)
~a thing that was causing annoyance cleared up and came together hurrah!
I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.
Hiiiiyah, chickens!
The hard:
-The rain. The gray. The rain. The rain. The cooooold. Wearing 4 layers and jacket in house. The rain.
-Really realizing I need to move. Can’t do month-to-month living no more. Looking for houses and roommates on Craigslist. Feeling like I’m taking a huge step backwards.
-Slow week in my massage business. Very slow.
-Finished Battlestar Gallactica.
The good:
-Bursts of sun. Ohmygod. Helped EVreething ever.
-Looked at 2 houses and met potential roommates. Being able to trust my sense about people. Being able to be completely honest and transparent about who I am, rather than molding myself into what I think they want. Whew. What a relief. Also, the thing about taking a step backward is all matter of perspective. Realizing that I will be able to save monies rather than working ass off every month to barely make it. Save monies! Feels huge.
-Incredibly good pre-sabbatical potion sales. Surpassed my goal. So grateful for all I have learned in last 3 years about running a business. ((((((Havi)))))) So grateful for gorgeous testimonials from potion-fans. Am up to my eyeballs in orders this weekend and then, once my last order gets sent out I’ll be on…
-SABBATICAL (from potion sales) for 4-5 months so I can WRITE! (And keep doing massage).
-Two clients buying 6-session series of sessions tomorrow. Yay.
-Grateful for more and more clarity. For speaking and communicating with people from a much clearer place. No means no, yes means yes, and both are equally good. Even though hard, my being ready to move comes from a place of clarity.
xoxo
Heidi
Apparently, I’m not finished with goods!
Also, garlic scapes!
Also, getting to visit my friend at the lake. Falling asleep and waking up by the lake. Without jackhammers and car horns for background noise.
Also, the garden I helped plant is growing. Including, strawberries!
Um? Friday? Really? I’m in a complete daze.
Hard:
–Lots of housecleaning. Not enough down time.
–Adorable fluffy animals running out into the road in front of me, being very hard to dodge. Three in one day, I kid you not. Two bunnies and a kitten. I didn’t hit them, which is wonderful and I’m very grateful for that, but yeesh, that kind of sudden panic I did not need!
Good:
–I found out in time when auditions for the local children’s summer theater program were being held, and took my daughter to audition this evening. She did well enough to get asked for a second reading, so we are quite hopeful!
–Due to a combination of circumstances, our annual weekend house party is only going to have three guests in attendance. Just between you and me and everyone who reads these words, I whisper: Thank God.
–Hey, and come to think of it, I had an idea for a song, an ebook, and a guided meditation, all in the same week!
–Oh, yes, and the AMAZING
stoopidbrilliant epiphany! I’m too tired to put it into words right now, maybe I’ll blog about it at some point, but RUBY! Ruby slippers! Clarity! Eureka! That’s IT!This was just 7 days?!!
The hard:
Hormonalness. Still. Feeling incredibly sensitive to everything, so that stuff I don’t normally notice was overwhelming. Plus lots of fretting and dooooom.
Sibling in hospital.
Feeling like I have very little privacy at the moment. Craving my own space that isn’t so impinged upon by other people. Also feeling a little guilty about this.
A giant episode of headf**kery. Ugh!
The weather – cold, windy and rainy, and subsequent not getting out anywhere as near as I would like.
Running out of books to read over a 4-day-bank-holiday weekend.
I will just add cat vomiting…bah.
The good:
Brother no longer in hospital. Everything OK.
OMG, finally, finally not on my period. Also hormonal emotional stuff is receeding too.
Have a giant haul of books from the library.
The epiphanies + clarity about money. BYOBA magic!
Created and sent into the the world Notes from a Shaman’s Path, to fund my shamanic training by writing it about it. People are signing up! Beyond delighted + so excited.
Plus awesome progress on my Thing I am Making, so much goodness.
The Floop!
Huge epiphany about what I actually do in my business, particularly in my one-on-one sessions. Clarity!
Getting the sweetest postcard in the mail from Andy.
Kitty cuteness.
Jubilee bbq with friends, yay fun!
And for now…time to go clean up the cat vomit and do some yoga. Love to everyone!
A mid-night chicken! Yay, happy to be here 🙂
Oh, week: you had some hards!
–unable to concentrate and do things that monsters were screaming at me to do… Not at all. Take that, monsters! Except… Real-Beth wanted to do them too. (oooOOOooo I may have just had a very Stoopid epiphany about all that. Um, good.)
–connection problems. Emails I thought I’d answered that I hadn’t. Inability to answer others. The phone still has no charger, which means I have no phone. Which is cool, but also… The business, it wants me to have a phone.
–a bit of non-me crankiness that walloped me into my stuff.
–I feel like there’s more hards that I’m hiding from myself. I guess that’s ok.
Also. Goods! Dry goods?
–silly love-high aware-alive-intense bike rides. Maybe not epiphany-causing per se, but that is the state I’d like to be in, almost all the time. Yay, bike rIdes to the things!
–the yoga lesson’o’magic – confirmation that yes, I DO love doing this. And it is magic. For all involved.
–teaching shiva nata! I love it!
–doing so much shiva nata that my biceps hurt. I didn’t know that was a thing. I like having muscles sore from good things. watching those shiva nata recordings and seriously not knowing how I was moving and processing that quickly. Hehe…
–sun warm skin
–an opening day! That was all I wanted it to be. Ahhh.
–feeling twitter-happy
–eating 21 apples. Cause I like them, dammit. Related: good digestion? It’s the little things.
–a delightful Friday night outing!
–hiking and camping peacefully… Ah summer and the beautiful things.
–finished the book series. My time is mine again! Ha.
As with most weeks, I had no idea so mch good was hiding in the hard. Interestingly, almost all of it was out-of-the house stuff, hmm. Informations, it is good! Thanks to chickeneers and the space!
Hard:
– Wanting to volunteer/be involved/be part of the world etc. but feeling so tired, numb, detached, uncommitted (for now). Feeling like I can do EITHER school, OR everything else, OR absolutely nothing.
– Deciding not to tell H about X. Recognizing it as MY *decision*, but still being very sad about it.
– Monsters yelling about how I will just ruin people’s lives if I go into anti-oppression/social-justice work. Not knowing how to respond to this.
– Not being able to talk.
– Not having shorts/skirts/capris yet 🙁
– Not being “on top of everything”
– Trying to re-focus the “things I don’t have” narrative.
– Being hungry ALL THE TIME(!) but not knowing if this is actual hunger or eating-related stuff.
Good:
– Finding my locket that I thought was lost.
– Deciding to do that thing that I wanted.
– Having enough space in my relationship with H that not telling her about X doesn’t mean the end of everything.
– Still going strong with setting compassionate boundaries. Learning that it’s okay to say no to people and this too does not mean the end of everything.
– Learning not to say “if you need help with anything…”
– Feeling crappy also means listening to myself and letting things be the way they are. This feels good, even though monsters are angry about all the “stuff that needs to be done”.
– Trying to re-focus the narrative.
– Realizing that I’ve been here before, and I can find my way out/around.
Love to everyone and their chickens 🙂
First up some hugs and a shower of pretty sparkly things for Havi, just because…
A week? Already? So not ready for this!
The Hard
Procrastination, in all its various forms, colours and infinite varieties.The monsters said there were THINGS THAT MUST BE DONE but Little Me hid under the table, sulky and defiant, refusing to do them.
Someone invaded my quiet evening space and tried to share their panic with me. Not cool!
That’s it? Really? Oh.
The Good
Whilst the TTMBD didn’t get done, lots of other stuff that really needed doing, & that Slightly Wiser Future Me said was more important anyway, did.
I responded to the invasion with calm & sovereignty, even though it took an hour or so to calm down after. Go me!
The Monster Manual and Coloring Book, wouldn’t be without it!
Re-discovering my touchstones serve a useful purpose & are not just stones in my pocket.
Lots of good, raw food this week.
Discovering that sometimes just what I want is not at all what I assume it will be. Again. And being gentle with myself that some things take a long time to really sink in.
And we’re back!
The good:
A new chapter beginning. A glimmer of understanding about my role, at least for the forseeable future. Nothing will be restored to me, but I am still needed.
Fun handing out maps to our community yard sale event today. Neighborhood characters.
Cool weather, so delicious (until today when it became boiling hot).
Pushed some projects off my desk at last.
The hard:
Anxiety while waiting for an answer. Took two days longer than I thought.
Meanwhile, a mistake I didn’t know I’d made caught up with me. A horrid shock. Having to make an Apology Tour. Realizing that nothing can protect me from the thing I don’t see coming. But hey, it’s not like we brought down the world economy or anything. This too shall pass.
Have a good week everyone.
The hard:
Still tired. So tired. Wondering if I’ll ever fully recover from pneumonia. (I’ve had people tell me they had pneumonia and it took them a YEAR to fully recover.) I slept 10 hours last night, felt like a zombie all day, took a 2 hour nap this afternoon, still feel like a zombie. Sigh.
The good:
I have totally fallen in love with Navajo plying. I never could really get the hang of it when I used to spin on my Reeves wheel because I had to treadle pretty fast to keep the wheel going. Now I spin on a Louet, and I can spin on the high speed whorl and ply on the low speed whorl, and it works much better, so I’ve been spinning and Navajo plying some of my art batts and they are totally awesome. I am in love.
Six border leicester fleeces followed me home today. And I didn’t have to pay anything for them. We’re bartering. I love barter. And they are gorgeous fleeces. Happy!
@Vicki – YAY I am so delighted to hear about your “incredible lightness of being Vicki” week! Wow!
@Heidi – Giant hug!
@everyone – you guys, you are the best.
Hard!
– realizing I have to release myself from some expectations that were thrown my way. I want to help with this project but not if it means shoe-throwing and these expectations. The realizing was hard because I CARE.
– no progress on the big thing that needs progress. scared scared.
– a conversation with the head of department person. it went well really well but still scary
– lack of sleep i am done with you
– transitions. this was a good one but still it takes a lot.
Good!
+ Mike Wikowski! we scare because care – I finally saw the movie!
+ something new is happening and its all nice and yay and yum
+ trust ? something of this nature. something about knowing i am going to arrange things such that things will work out on my big project.
+ starting the rearraning
Swoon!
illumination through elimination ! I shall take this with me in the week! 🙂
Oh Hard, I feel like i need to wallow in you a bit. Even though there was lots of good…
Hard.
– having that feeling that it’s all hard and there’s not enough space or time. so not true but i feel cramped.
– fear. everywhere. loads of it between the calming epiphanies.
– neck pain. neck pain. neck pain, that didn’t go away with my massage.
– wanting to relax, knowing how deeply that would serve me, but feeling like a big ball of recurring tension.
– feeling like i didn’t accomplish enough.
– a massive wave of raw, uncontrollable anger.
– a subsequent “argument”
– missing my niece.
– the weekend flying by.
– pressure on myself to not be emotional when i just am.
– tiredness. everywhere.
The Good.
– i set up my bank accounts. yahoo! i did it.
– i started on my nieces birthday present. yahoo! i did it.
– major important realizations coming through. yahoo!
– my sweet partner-in-crime being so sweet and willing.
– the exhibition for my project might just have planned itself!
– lots of sleep even though i didn’t feel rested.
– started a new painting. oh, sweet lubrication for the soul.
– got a massage! yayy!
– the massage was super affordable — yay!
– amazing blog interactions. feeling appreciated.
– learned about appreciation.
– amazing class/session with a partner…. woah it was so good and healing and juicy.
– great conversation about my project and marketing.
– sweet chat with my dad.
and and and….
this feels so good.
love to you all.
jessica
The Hard:
-Not having a plan.
-Been on my cycle for over a week. It’s been a strange one.
-I missed Jon while he was out of town.
-[Silent Retreat]
-Still no job. A lot of angst about the kind of jobs that I’ve “had to” apply for in the past week or so.
-Not hearing back from jobs that I want. Putting too much hope eggs all into one basket, and then getting disappointed.
-Speaking of disappointment, the German nerd I met at that party never e-mailed me. Sadface.
-Bills and bill-related mail that has the power to ruin my whole damn day.
-This out-of-state number has been calling me 1-5 times a day, for months, and they never leave a message. I’m 99.8% sure that it’s a bill collector, and I don’t want to talk to them. Every time they call (even on Sundays!) it just reminds me of my shitty financial situation.
-Not sure how I’m going to pay my phone bill this month, which is my main source of communication with the outside world.
-I’m the last person on Earth who wants to see the Avengers, but hasn’t yet. Or at least it feels like it.
-I’m really behind on a lot of shows I love, but I don’t have enough bandwidth to stream video to catch up.
-Still too much sleeping.
-I want to go to the library, and I haven’t yet.
-I want to be making music, and dancing, and making crafty stuff, and writing, and doing stuff with video. But I don’t know how, or I’m afraid that I’m no good, and I just Generally Have Stuff About All That. There’s definitely a monster that says that I’m not a real Artist/Writer/Musician. But the monster says that *this* writing “doesn’t count”. I’ll just take that as a good thing for now.
-Not connecting with my friends as much as I’d like to.
-Various experiments not turning out as well as I would have liked/expected.
-I basically have 2 summer outfits, and no money to buy new clothes right now, not even at the thrift store.
-I didn’t register to vote in the primaries. I feel like a bad liberal.
Good/Hard:
~Hard talk with stepdad that needed to happen, but I had put off. It made me cry, but that was a good thing.
~Mourning various things that I needed/need to mourn.
~Food stuff. There’s movement, but it’s not what I’m expecting/wanting, and I’m not sure if it’s an improvement or not. Work in progress.
~Texting with [friend] and [sister]. They were both kind & supportive, and they gave me advice, which I asked for, but I’ve been Resistance Mouse when it comes to taking their advice, which makes me feel guilty.
~Some hard epiphanies.
The Good:
+Not having a plan. It’s mostly hard, but it has good bits too.
+I’m borrowing my mom’s air mattress, and my back is no longer ruling my life. It’s now at normal pain levels. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!
+Music is saving my life. Love you Spotify.
+I discovered Regina Spektor. And remembered just how much I love the piano.
+The return of Twitter to my life! Follow me and I’ll follow you 🙂
+Been getting a lot of enjoyment out of Pinterest.
+Reconnected with Friend Who Moved.
+Helped out mom at her work thing. Made me feel useful, and interactions with mom have been vastly improved.
+I’ve had some positive experiences/epiphanies with being present and enjoying my body.
+The awesome grocery shopping spree I went on on Friday.
+Watched a lot of Gilmore Girls.
+Sitting and looking at the lake. Very healing.
+Green smoothie.
+All of the glorious parts of summer.
+High quality dark chocolate.
+Jon let me read his Star Trek/Doctor Who crossover comic! SO GOOD. Can’t wait to read more!
+Claiming and re-claiming bits of my identity.
+Singing along without worrying about being off-key.
+Thinking good thoughts about Birthday Boy.
Thank you Havi, for creating this safe space, and cheers to all you fellow Chickeneers.
Chicken! Chicken! CHICKEN DANCE!!
This week was GOOD. So busy, and so good!!
HARD
+my exhaustion level by the end of the Trans-Health Conference, whoa!
+not being able to find a parking spot on Wednesday
+midweek panic attacks
+throwing off my sleep schedule way badly
GOOD
+the Trans Health Conference was fabulous! I had an amazing time.
+rehearsals! my a cappella group is now in our twice-a-week summer rehearsal schedule and it’s SO GREAT!!
+molasses gingersnaps!
+dinner with my group (aka “aca-pasta”)
+stepping in to host writing group again
+reading Theatre of the Oppressed
+working in the Quaker conference office and being able to be helpful to people I adore
+my foot is getting better!
+my chemical sensitivities seem to be getting better, too! possibly attributable to my new apple cider vinegar routine, but too soon to really tell.
+MAPPING MY WEEK! this is a good practice and i want to keep doing it!!
+printed the forms for my massage license
+buying SO MUCH YARN!!!
+finished [J]’s prayer shawl
+my silly adorable crush
+black bean masala, yum!
+and blogging about it! also yum!
+pursuing my intention to improve my Spanish!
Hullooooo, little Chickens 🙂
HARD
:: Sooooooo much hard this past week…. big endings being the hardest. Change, you are hard, even when I’ve wished for you for years and I’m so thankful for you. Endings are a death, which is both perfect and HARD.
:: Where has all of the balance gone? Most of the week was sweet and loving, and then the weekend was NOT. Out of whack going into this week.
:: How to be in the world and not share all of my personal news that I’m not ready to share? Currently, hiding.
:: Fitness and stuff… I am feeling shifts here, but looking for the courage to have the conversations. And how to have them.
:: Stalling on my writing, after big bouts of creating – probably a lot to do with needing to process some of the big changes now that they are happening-happening, but still hard.
THE GOOD!
:: Big changes! FINALLY, happening. Geez, Louise.
:: Major progress on the kitchen — and the closet stuff is put away, hooray! External spaces, slowwwwwwly changing.
:: More energy (slightly) means more activity means more productivity – I’m a sucker for productivity.
:: Ideas… percolating…
:: Lots of good reading. Well, lots of reading — some of it was good. I wonder what reading does for me, exactly? Hmmmmmm….
:: Some connecting time with friends = felt good, obligation-free
:: A little more stuff for the body this week, lovely
I think there’s more but I’m ready to go do some other stuff, so I’m letting it be where it is for now, go me.
Exiting Chicken! See you laters.