Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
What worked?
The clue was jewel. Perfect for Bond girl’s diamond caper!
I let things be jewels.
I wore my necklace and my invisible jeweled crown.
My toenails are red and sparkly. Ten jewels. I found the word WELL (both meanings) hiding inside of jewel, and that was a jewel too.
Also this makes me think of my high school driver’s ed teacher — the aptly named Mr. Carr — and how he once gave me a gift that was a moment of rescuing. He lent me a book, and he said “there are gems in here”, and he was right. Jewels.
Next time I might…
Trust more. Talk to monsters. Conduct. Entry.
Eight breaths of hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Adjusting to new things. A breath for releasing expectation and adjusting to What Is. Remembering that this can be hard.
- The rush to get here, no transition time. A breath for craving spaciousness and buffers.
- Something about space again, that claustrophobic feeling. A loving breath for the parts of me who have habitual ways of reacting to perceived tightness.
- Doubting myself. A breath for this.
- Noticing stuff I have about embarrassment, and about fear of loss, and how these are and aren’t related. A breath for noticing.
- Too much to do, still. A breath for this.
- Still haven’t found a way to celebrate the chagim that works well for me. A breath for wanting things to change.
- Inhale, exhale. Goodbye, mysteries and hard moments of this week.
Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- Getting away! Just in time too. A breath for freedom and right timing.
- Spaciousness. A breath for expanding into.
- A new kind of adventure keeps me on my toes. A breath for new beginnings!
- Tashlich at the ocean. A breath for sweet release.
- Silent retreat. A breath for the superpower of not everything requires a response.
- Writing. A breath for giving myself the thing that feeds me.
- Sunset. A breath for beauty and presence.
- Compass meditation. The compass for Operation Jewel Star is my favorite compass yet. A breath for transformations.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of “Okay, it’s an adventure!”
And a superpower I want next week.
I flow with everything AND I find secret hideaway bolt holes.
Salve.
This week’s salve is a serenity-contentment-secretsmile blend.
It is exactly what it sounds like. Pretty great.
These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory delivers enough for distribution by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is from Vanessa:
Profit Police
They sound a little bit like the Clash. Except as it turns out, it’s just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. ANNOUNCEMENT.
You guys you guys you guys!
There are a few open spots in individual Alphabet Carousel Rallies.
- You can come to ONE RALLY.
- There is also an option to bundle TWO rallies at a discount, or THREE at even more of a discount.
All the details are on the new Rally page!
IF you are in the Floop and signing up for just one Rally, log-in to the Floop and use the Secret Benefits page for Floop discount. If you’re in the Floop and want more than one Rally, use the Rally page because there is no combining discounts and that’s the better deal. 🙂
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Follow
Hullo-ullo-ullo! and Chag Sameach! and happy being-on-holiday, too, for you who are!
What worked? Tuesday’s naps. Looking things up for myself. Scaling some things back.
Next time? plan less and plan for less. more time in and for doing.
Eight breaths to shake out the tight and the stuck:
1. Still struggling with the sunscreen v. physical activity v. sensitive eyes equation. A breath for chemistry.
2. Wishing some conversations had gone differently. A breath for transcending awkwardness.
3. Bunnies snacking on my hollyhocks. And my radish-tops are looking pathetic, too. A breath for inexpensive experimentation.
4. The grout in the shower is smelling and looking gross, and I fear the solution won’t be cheap, easy, or imminent. A breath for patience.
5. Realizing there will be baggage fees if I check luggage to Destination V. A breath for discernment.
6. I’d like to spruce up my wardrobe, but I’m not feeling like it’s the right time for that. (Batting zero at my last visit to Goodwill was both good and hard in that regard.) Another breath for discernment.
7. Some info I thought I had, I don’t. A breath for new systems.
8. Riding out big waves of annoyance churned up by My Stuff crashing against Cliffs of Cluelessness. Oh boy. A breath for surfing.
Eight breaths to savor the good and the delightful:
1. Stanislas Wawrinka! Late bloomers and sidekicks FTW! A breath for the sweet spots.
2. Honey cake. A breath for sweetness.
3. First bike ride of the summer. A breath for air in the tires.
4. An order not going through. Because as I checked on it, I realized the situation that had prompted the order had changed and I didn’t want the items after all. A breath for glitches turning into good fortune.
5. The house is cleaner and the dog brushed. A breath for good tools and supplies.
6. Being able to throw out worn-out shoes and socks. A breath for abundance.
7. Crayons and cardstock. A breath for creation.
8. Pomegranate balsamic vinegar. A breath for souvenirs.
Warm wishes to all y’all!
I’m so glad you used “profit police”. I totally forgot about that one. I’m still going to title my award winning memoir “For Posterity and Posteriors”. It’s a Pulitzer in the making!
Made it through two weeks of trouble and rent is paid. People asked for my artwork! I did drawings! Happiness!
Hello, Chickeneers! Hello, Friday! I am so thankful for both.
I’ve been doing this special breathing practice. Every day, twice a day, for seven weeks. Today is the first Friday chicken that this has occurred to me.
So, another few breaths. One for Mechaieh’s hollyhocks. One long one for quitting work early today. Another for my back. And one for the Missing Hairclip and one for Finding the Hairclip.
One for not finding the thing I needed at Goodwill. And one for finding the thing I never imagined I would find there. DELIGHT!
Wishing you all similar unexpected delight. <3
Cheers Chickeneers!
Eight breaths of Hard:
-The bad news I received, and the way that I found it out. A breath for that.
-Wanting to do a Radiance Retreat to help me transition between August and September, but also not wanting to do it, and wanting to do it “right”, which results in me not having done it yet. A breath of love for me-who-is-stuck.
-Anxiety. A breath of release.
-Pain. A breath of relief.
-I feel like I’m changing at a much quicker rate than normal. Leads to confusion, dithering, changing my mind a lot. A breath of clarity.
-Mixed feelings about [x] when I just want to feel happy. A breath of spaciousness.
-Misplacing all the things. I’ve found most of them but there’s still one crucial thing missing. Alll the judgments about this. A breath of serendipity.
-Inhale, exhale. Goodbye, hards of the week.
Eight breaths of Good:
+Finally got in to see the doctor, ask the questions, and get the other appointment. It was hard, and I did it, and I deserve all the sparklepoints. A breath for courage.
+Spending time outside in the afternoon light. laying down for shavasana with the dog. A breath for sweetness.
+Something finally clicked, and now the one part of my neck that held the most pain and tension is amazingly better. A breath for transformation.
+I FINALLY HAVE CRAZY HAIR COLORS IN MY HAIR. A breath for freedom and for taking the plunge and loving the imperfect results!
+Spontaneous reconfigurations of the tops of my dressers have been happening! A breath for magic.
+Being a local. A lot of the time that’s hard for me, but today it was a good thing. A breath for belonging.
+My car is so clean and beautiful! A breath for taking care of the things that are mine.
+Even though I have money worries, my immediate needs are met. A breath for safety and enoughness.
This week’s superpower: Keep Going No Matter What
Next week’s superpower: Taking Lots of Tiny Breaks
All the good things have hard twins, and all the hard things are part of the good.
Hard: I still have a terrible crush on a colleague
Good: I nerved myself (with the aid of a gin and tonic) to have a proper look at this, and to look at the reasons behind the reasons, and worked out that actually I am in love with idealism and integrity, and just vaguely fancy him
Hard: Though it is difficult to separate these out when he is RIGHT THERE
Good: my husband has his PhD. (The Ph stands for Fox, he assures me.)
Hard: this one doesn’t have hard. Not any more, anyway.
Good: my husband has a job.
Hard: it is half-way across the country.
Hard: I need a new job.
Good: a job came up in the right sort of area. I have applied for it.
Hard: WHY DO THEY NOT TELL ME IF I HAVE BEEN SHORTLISTED?
Hard: the restructure that is being discussed at work
Meh: I probably won’t be there when it happens
Good: fantastic typo in the Q & A document: “will all the admin staff be managed by one potholder?” Which made me laugh so much, in an ‘ow!’ kind of way, because sometimes it does feel as if we’re managed by a potholder…
Helpful: Books. Buchan and Trollope (they are all about the idealism, and the integrity). I think I may need Dickson McCunn to live in my head. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.
Good: my newspaper skirt. I wore it with a red top yesterday and I was *black and white and read all over* which is an excellent joke, even when you’re not eight.
Good: my red bowler hat, which is possibly the best hat in the world.
Good: book club, with shiny people
Hard: so much politics. I hate it. I know that all institutions have politics and that it is necessary to some extent to get stuff done, but ew.
Good: new moon, which has to be the moon of Idealism and Integrity, really.
Goodbye, summer. Hello, autumn.
The Ph is for fox! LOVE>
The clue/nail polish this week (thanks, Havi!): Mover and Shaker
[Incidentally, I also had Mr. Carr for driver’s ed. I had forgotten how much I loved his method of giving impromptu one-liners — rules for the road — that remain with me to this day…and it occurs to me: perhaps a useful practice for Book of Me reminders and dictums?]
Playing with 8 breaths of release:
1. Farewells and homesickness. A breath for sadness and then comfort.
2. Incongruence with the demands of my new job and needing to know more than I feel I know. A breath for encompassing the discomfort.
3. Work conversations in which I wish I would contributed (and known what I had to offer), and the ensuing awkwardness when I did say things I wish I hadn’t said. A breath for settling the jangly feeling of newness.
4. Too-hot weather. A breath for new ease.
5. The cross-cultural gaffe(s). A breath for letting go of mistakes.
6. Skin on my face is still acting up like crazy. A breath for healing.
7. Still no yoga mat. A breath for release of back/neck/hips.
8. The nights of bad sleep. A breath for peacefulness.
Breathing in and out for release and letting go.
And 8 breaths of gratitude and delight:
1. My new office. A breath for joy.
2. The greatest pair of shoes. A breath for beauty.
3. I’m alone for the time being and I’m doing alright. A breath for intention.
4. New colleagues, new friends. A breath for possibility.
5. Impromptu travel/goodbye trip with my beloved. A breath for celebration.
6. Occasional moments of feeling superbly together. A breath for badass confidence (open to superpower status–please stick around…).
7. Massage surprise. A breath for physical release.
8. Excellent cheese. A breath for delicious savoring.
I am gratefully accepting the salve. Next week’s superpower (while keeping “Mover and Shaker”): I am one joyful step ahead.
Cheers, Chickeneers!
Hello and Cluck and Happy Rosh HaShanah! I was tickled by the Covert Celebratory JUdaism of the display at Sprouts Market. No matzoh in sight, so 10 points!
It was an interesting week to say the least. With the New Moon on Thrusday, i had a real sense of newness and fresh beginnings that I enjoyed very much. Got lots of bing! around new ways to Enter the Lunation more consciously and with deeper engagement to the woek of the month. This is an intriguing Investigation, and it all coincides beautifully with begnning a brand new journal.
what worked this week: breathing and humming, compassing, resting into the miracle and then THERE IT IS. staying true to choice i made to Avoid Animal Shelters.
next week: more white flowers and movement.
the sucks were not so bad, just annoying:
-husband’s weird new bed set up made sleep very difficult for 3 nights. ugh
-drama around this, things feeling tense and unhappy
-stuck around my weight/body stuff
-the long awaited confrence room carpet meant i spent a headcahy morning listenign to chisels on concrete, and an afternoon breathing in toxic carpet glue. had to elave work early.
-oh this was obnoxious. silent retreat on details but seriosuly, WTF??
-that buzzing Sun In Virgo compulsion to RE-Organize ALL the Things, and how i just can’t do it
but the sparkle was strong:
-Humming magick: i vibed last month for new clothes, esp new nice tank tops, a petal skirt, a striped skirt and more lapis jewlery. my co worker cleans out ehr closet: 5 new tank tops (cotton, hemp, silk), a sage green petal skirt (normally 90 bucks) AND a gorgeous lapis and moonstone pendant and OMG.
-so if this is possible then …?
-feeling good about setting a few boundaries lately and enforcing them, against a lot of old bad patterning
-hot summer days continue. i’m good witn it
-by giving up X, Y has started to manifest
-knowing if it I decide not be part of ThatThing, it will be okay, and if I do decide to be part I can make it what i want it to be
-realizing how very much more ofteh than i think, i am allowed to make things what I want.
-see again, if X is possible, then Y…
-doing New Moon circle on friday. having it be a good circle, very complete, and being able to weave new practcies in
-those new practices being where I’m bringing Fluent Self tools into conversation with other practices I do and wow is that being awesome
Theme for August – Dignity, respect, sovereignty. Judge Dee, both the historical and fictional character embodies the theme. Sister’s Special Moon.
Theme for September – Back to School. Schedules, activities, fall cleaning. Hildegarde Withers, schoolteacher detective (and Inspector Oscar Piper) is the Lead Detective this month. Moon of Beginnings.
Theme for the week – Entering, The Caper
Theme for the current week – Entering Contentedly, wearing a serene, secret smile.
The Good – The range hood like a force field over the stove. No Dad-access holes is the ceilings and walls. The pantry repainted. Beauty. Under budget because the Contractor and I couldn’t remember what price we agreed on, and didn’t dig up the paperwork.
What was hard or mysterious?
Caring about the sad old Russian River. Big Guilt “You’re a bad person because you can’t fix her life and she’ll die” thing while I couldn’t get ahold of her.
Identified Something Like a Wall called Fretwork. It’s a wrought iron fence that takes work to maintain. Investigating.
Big Ol’ argument with The Dude. He had invited someone from the past who had Major Stuff That He Dumped on Us before slamming the door behind him, back into our lives. And The Dude sprung him on me at the last minute. [Silent Retreat on the details.] Things worked out. But I am investigating to find out What My Button Was, etc.
The heat at home while I’m on vacation!
What worked? Hearts & Minds, a listening group at church, helped me clarify my feelings re: the sad old Russian River and realizing that The Dude needs reassurance about his feelings, too.
Famous Fictional Detective Investigation Agency. I’ve closed down the theater for the time being and am using detectives from books, TV, stage and screen to lead investigations about walls, patterns and monsters.
Wearing a frozen washcloth on my head like a pancake!
Conversations with the actual persons instead of feeding off an intermediary’s panic.
What might I want to try in the future?
Keep investigating.
What can I be doing right now, in this moment, to be developing a conscious relationship with myself?
Myself is a black lady. When I lie to Myself, she shakes her head and sighs, “Mmmh hmmm, girl, it does you no good to lie to yourself.” And I turn off the computer, or quit reading and do the next thing to get ready for work.
I was feeling kinda weird that Myself is a black lady, when I have no African blood except maybe my ancestor/mother’s mitochondria and that she has those qualities of warmth, loving, and extroversion that I’m not really comfortable with (although I’m comfortable with her.) On 9/7 I was prompted to check into yin and yang.
Mmmh hmmm. Yang is white, hard, masculine, daylight. Sunshine laws, freedom of information, reason.
Yin is black and water and earth, softness, femininity, intuition and night. The Super Power of Extreme Metaphors strikes again! The No. 1 female detective in Botswana is investigating Myself.
Asks:
That things that need to exit now exit gracefully and things that need to come in now are received with love. Membership in the SciFi Club – gone leaving a couple of tasks and their iguana bones. Also gone, The Stick I Use to Whack Myself With.
The weather has been cooler for a couple of days, so this chickeneer is not so fried. Best gwishes and sparkles everywhere!