Friday chicken

Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.

It is Friday and we are here.

{a breath for Friday}

What worked?

RGW.

This was my code for Refreshing Glass of Water. I know that it’s actually a glass of refreshing water, for everyone who likes to be precise (the water is refreshing, not the glass), and yet that’s the code.

RGW.

Every time I was about to attempt a Doing of some form, I would text Agent Em Dee and tell her how I was starting. RGW.

It helped. Both the texting my ally and the drinking of the water. Emptying and replenishing. It is the theme of my year, and this was a relatively low-key way to practice it.

RGW. RGW. RGW.

Clue of the day.

Each morning I also texted Agent Em Dee with a clue.

It was a silly thing. And also it helped. It is nice to have clues.

Joyful serendipity!

Last Friday I was dancing nightclub two step with a lovely older gentleman. The song ended, and he asked: Do you rumba?

I do not rumba. So I shook my head. He suggested that we try it anyway. My body somehow remembered how to do the basic, either from a ballroom taster class or from watching Strictly Ballroom way too many times, and I was able to more or less follow the rest. It was exhilarating.

Me, in my head: More rumba, please!

The next day two of my “hey, let’s dance something” classes turned out to be rumba classes. PERFECT.

Or on Wednesday I watched a video of someone teaching the Texas Tommy (a dance move) and thought, I want to do that. The next day at West Coast Swing, every single person I danced with did at least one Texas Tommy.

People were Texas Tommying all over the place. I don’t know where all these Texas Tommies have been, and all of a sudden it was one Texas Tommy after another, like they were on sale.

I am making a mental note to keep saying things like “more of this, please”, because, well, because I would like more of this please.

Next time I might…

Be generous with making space for [December].

I had zero ability to focus or concentrate this week*, for a wide variety of reasons, among them that this is the time for hibernation and I had piles of work that I wanted nothing to do with.

* I hear this is a trend, actually…

The more I fought with myself, the more it hurt.

I want to remember to say, “This makes sense, and it will be okay.”

Because ultimately it doesn’t matter why. Full moon. Scary news. Being about two seconds away from my period all week. Stress and deadlines. Perceived expectations. Recovery from Then. Residual trauma. Who knows.

There is always a reason, and it is legitimate. All the reasons. They are legitimate.

And this always happens in December and it always passes, and I am always okay.

A wise thing a dance teacher said this week.

Applicable to everything, so substitute life for “dance”….

“Surrender your mind, that is how you follow. You stop thinking about what is about to happen and you start feeling what is happening.”

That was Susan.

Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.

  1. Seriously I could not focus to save my life. A breath for fogginess, and for trust in the path.
  2. Hard news, hard decisions, a lot of pain. A breath for this.
  3. Navigating situations with people you care about deeply and also don’t trust. A breath for staying connected to love and safety.
  4. Actually everything in my life is working except for in one area, and it’s just that this one area has such a massive impact that it is hard for me to remember the good. A breath for perspective.
  5. Everything is changing. Everything ends, dies, reconfigures. A breath for change.
  6. I really want some time off to do things that are not related to my company or the chocolate shop or Solving All The Problems. A breath for tightness easing.
  7. […] A breath for everything that is hard right now.
  8. Inhale, exhale. Goodbye, mysteries and hard moments of this week.

Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.

  1. Magical cafe date (Fake Beach Day on a Tuesday) with Danielle. A breath for pleasure and restfulness.
  2. Two surprise rumba classes! A breath for the delight of learning.
  3. I have so much information about what I want in my life. And oh right, everything in my life is working except for (super big thing that is a disaster), that’s a first, and it is pretty amazing. A breath for sweetness.
  4. Friends. Really good friends who are there for me in tough times. Also, I have plans to be with some of them on solstice, christmas and new years. My phone turned that into newt ears. A breath for support, laughter, treasure.
  5. A genius idea that is so genius that it scares me. A breath for possibility.
  6. Long baths. A breath for water making everything better.
  7. My sankalpa or aspiration/intention this week was Generously Receiving, and then Agents Mueller and White bonded (ha, spy pun) and ended the end of the Jazz Age for me, that is to say: they gave me an early birthday present and got me back in my morning dance class. A breath for generously receiving, and for the generous giving of two people who love me.
  8. I saw the new Fluent Self calendar and it is so breathtakingly beautiful that I actually cried happy, delighted tears. It is just right, and also a tiny sweet thing, so I will tell you about it soon. It is all salves! A breath for something surpassing your biggest hopes.

WHAM BOOM! Operations completed.

The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code that means: this thing is done! It is often shortened to wham-boom. You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.

Lots of ops.

Operation Solve For S, take II
Operation CINNAMON

Also, I finally rewrote the comment culture page, yay!

WHAM! BOOM!

Superpowers!

Powers I had this week…

The power of knowing that the light at the end of the tunnel is there, and also that the tunnel is not a tunnel.

And, I am the PROPRIETRESS of a magical ballroom.

Superpowers I want.

Same as last three weeks: Everything Is Simple And Pleasurable.

And also: extreme focus. And unwavering faith. Whatever I am doing in this moment is right. And if I change it, that is also right.

Salve.

The salve of joyful serendipity.

All the connections, seen and felt. The thing you are drawn to is the thing that is suddenly here. Hints everywhere. It is slightly tingly. There might be mint in it somewhere.

It is especially good for bruises and sore muscles.

I also like to rub it into the soles of my feet when I go to bed and when I wake up.

These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory delivers enough for distribution by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.

If you are not a salve person (today or in general), you can have this in tea form, pill form, as a bath, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band via Richard.

Freaked Out By Figs

They are a trance polka band from Seattle. Though I hear it’s actually just one guy…

Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.

I am deep in an undercover mission to get better at receiving in all forms, or as I’m calling it: Glowing Receptivity and Being Receptive to Glow.

This involves, among other things, acquiring the skill of Gracefully Accepting Thanks.

And it is related to my mission of Coming Out Of All The Closets and sharing, particularly about my personal experiences with not-sharing-how-hard-things-are, when things were actually the hardest.

If you would like to take a part in this and support me on my mission by sharing sweetness and appreciation for any aspect of my work, I would love that. You can do it with the magic of words, through the comments, or add something to Barrington’s Discretionary fund. (Explanation!)

And if the way you are glowing appreciation is quietly in your heart, I like that too. It all counts. ♡

Come play if you like…

Join me in the comments. Some of us share hard and good, some of us say hi, or maybe we’re on silent retreat. My ritual doesn’t have to be your ritual. Whatever works for you. Almost three hundred weeks of this and there still isn’t a right way.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like, it’s no big deal. And I am blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers. I love that you are here too.

The Fluent Self