Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do it.

Thing 1: Using the Deguiltified Chicken Board. With or without the board. Or the chicken.

Here’s what I want:

So at my Kitchen Table program we have this Deguiltified Chicken Board that’s all about the Iguanaccountability thing. As you know.

Either way. The idea is zero-guilt non-scary space to announce what you’re working on.*

* No one makes you feel bad if what you thought would happen didn’t, but you do get support to help you regroup.

I hardly ever remember to use this board when there’s something I’m working on that’s getting semi-stuckified.

But when I do? Extreme getting stuff done all over the place.

Last week I used the Board to write the last Very Personal Ad. And got it done in 30 minutes (it usually takes at least an hour). And it works even when I’m not online (!)

So I know that if I use it, stuff will move. But …

Here’s how I want this to work:

Maybe I’ll just remember.

Or when I’m reading someone else’s thread, it will remind me that hey, I have stuff to chicken too.

Maybe I can come up with a list of Things I’d Like To Make Progress On, and use that list as a guideline for things I can bring to the board.

Or? I don’t know.

My commitment.

To work on trusting the thing that I know works.

To do Dance of Shiva on this.

To play. To experiment. To take notes. To Chicken.

Thing 2: Someone who loves metal clay (or might love it)

This one is for Riin who is @happyfuzzyyarn on Twitter and a Fluent Self commenter mouse regular.

Here’s her situation:

“I don’t want to make jewelry.

There. I said it.

I used to make jewelry years ago. I stopped because it was killing my wrists.

Then last summer I stumbled into a site about metal clay, which looked like about the coolest thing ever invented, and went into OCD mode and checked out a bunch of metal clay books from the library, read a whole lot of tutorials online, and ordered about $900 worth of gemstones, silver wire, metal clay, tools and equipment.

I made a few things with the gemstones and wire. And I realized I wasn’t enjoying it so much. I never even opened the metal clay packages.

I’m totally addicted to working with fiber.

But jewelry? Meh. I don’t even wear jewelry anymore except for earrings. Really simple earrings. Earrings that I just leave in my ears all the time and don’t bother to change.

So. Yeah. I finally faced the fact that I just don’t want to make jewelry.

And now I’ve got a bunch of gemstones, silver wire, metal clay, tools and equipment just sitting there, taking up space in my studio.

Anyone want to buy it? Because I could really use that space.”

Ways this could work:

Someone here could read this and go yay! And make her an offer. Or write to her and ask how this could work.

Someone here could know someone who could really use all this stuff and come up with a creative, wonderful idea.

Magic. Surprises. A great big web of surprising possibilities.

Ideas, thoughts? Anyone?

My commitment.

If I get to be a connector mouse here for this one, that will make me pretty insanely happy.

Thing 3: Restfulness.

Here’s what I want:

I have serious resistance to all things relaxing and restful.

This is not news.

I want this to change.

Ways this could work:

Okay. This kind of terrifies me to write so please don’t hold me to this.

But I have been toying with a wacky practice of A Month Of Relaxation.

Where I commit to doing one relaxing thing each day. For a month.

Obviously I am not unaware of the ridiculous amount of irony involved, since things that are “relaxing” tend to really stress me out. So actually it’s like a month of tension

I know. Hilarious.

What I’m being drawn to though is some kind of slow, gentle, intentional practice to help me interact with my resistance around relaxing, and to develop a healthier relationship with it.

My commitment.

To give serious thought about ways this might work.

To be playful. You know, while being serious. Right.

To give myself permission to take things slow. To stay at the edges if that’s where I want to be.

To remind myself that my body has a lot of trauma around relaxation (some really not-good things have happened when I’ve been relaxed), and that if this takes time, it takes time.

To be the crazed scientist and experiment experiment experiment. And take notes.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

The tax thing: huge progresses.

The Gentleman Friend and I had our two hour meeting and it wasn’t as painful as I’d thought it would be.

Though there may have been half an hour of crying in the bathroom.

My new bookkeeper Jennifer is amazing.

The asking for a miracle thing: some stuckification of my own on that one. Will report more later.

The “treating the study like a study” thing: taking Lisa’s Love That Room class is definitely helping.

I went to a cafe to do some of the homeworks and when I came back, my gentleman friend had hung the curtains. It changes things.

So. Slowly slowly. But movement. Movement is good.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

• Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

• Reality theories.
• Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
• To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
• Advice.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.

Thanks for doing this with me!