What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Very Personal Ads #17: Taking the um out of momentum
Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my weekly ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do it!
Apologies for the title.
Thing 1: Clarity and decision-making and momentum.
Here’s what I want:
I’ve been making all sorts of decisions related to my At The Kitchen Table With Havi & Selma program.
Like the quarterly themes. This past year we did crazy work on our relationship with Money, Space, Time & Love. Which were exactly the right things to spend time on.
My plan is that in 2010 we’ll still be talking about all those things, but with a new theme for each quarter.
Communication, Sovereignty, Systems and Play. AWESOME.
And there are other bits that I know for sure I’m doing or not doing this time around.
But there are so many other things I need to make final decisions on. How small I’m keeping it. How many people get in. If we’re changing the application process.
Anyway, I’m really needing some clear-headedness so that I can sit with these things and make some plans.
Here’s how I want this to work:
I don’t know.
Spaciousness. Deep breaths. Talking to Hiro. And Shiva Nata practice. Taking it on walks. Not taking it anywhere.
Going dancing. A lot.
My commitment.
To keep my attention on finding out what I need to stay grounded and focused.
To be (mostly) kind to myself when things aren’t in flow.
To practice patience (or to be easier on myself for being impatient).
To let the process be the process, and remember that good things will come out of it because that’s how these things work.
To give myself permission to grumble about the stupid stupid process.
Perspective. (Hey, Havi! Remember exactly a year ago when you were going through the exact same thing but you didn’t even have a glimmer yet of what an amazing place was about to be created?).
Thing 2: Posties!
Here’s what I want:
I have crazy amounts of traveling (“amounts” — is that the correct way to measure travel?) coming up.
And I am feeling the need/desire/intention to crank out some blog posts. In advance.
To bring a measure of ease into the travel stuff.
Ways this could work:
I don’t want guest posts. Not negotiable. And I don’t want to take a holiday from posting.
This is really about time and about spaciousness and about focus. And systems, of course!
Obviously I already have a million or so lists of posts-in-progress and ideas-in-progress and so on.
I could also dig up my dusty Ask Havi list.
But I need to first find the most helpful way to destressify around said lists, since they are ridiculously long and overwhelming.
I could come up with a list of Eight Things I want to write about and ignore all my other lists.
I could write some posts for the series on sovereignty.
Something else could solve this in a comfortable, non-stress-ey way.
My commitment.
Meeting myself where I am.
Consciously choosing options that release guilt rather than perpetuating it.
Choose what is easy. Choose what is available. Choose what fits whatever it is that I need most right now.
And I commit to paying attention to my stuff as I work on this.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted to come up with thirty-something goal-like-things for the upcoming year, without setting off my I-can’t-do-goals stuff. And to stay playful.
Feeling good about this.
For one thing, my gentleman friend took me to the roller rink where the old lady plays the organ! Though we got the times wrong and she wasn’t playing the organ.
But the fact that Thing #1 on my tiny list has already mostly happened totally made me feel better about the whole thing.
So I’m playing with it. It’s good.
The second thing was about being less stressed out at work. Progress: yes. More breaks. More tea. More goofing off. More dancing.
Still working more than I’d like. And still not always noticing when I’m giving myself a huge headache until it’s already there. This one needs to be renewed, I think!
The third thing was Marissa (my wonderful First Mate) finally having an opening for a new client or two. And I totally have not followed up with her on that, so I have no idea.
But will ask!
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. 🙂
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird. I commit to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and to interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible.
Thanks for doing this with me!
Friday Chicken #64: pretty pretty princess edition
Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I’m all bruised right now.
Blaming the roller rink. And the ’80s.
But other than that, things are okay.
This is actually the first time in a looooong time when the good in my week so easily outranked the hard. So that’s kind of weird/cool.
And here we are. Friday. For the Chicken.
The hard stuff
Experimenting with being non-internet-ey.
That is, connecting to the internet in short spurts (ten minutes here and there) and then remembering to disconnect.
It’s more of a symbolic practice than anything else. But as with any thing-that-you-are-shifting, it’s been challenging and hard.
I did surprise myself by remembering to do it more often than not, but it really just brings so much more attention to how easy it is to get sucked into webbery.
Working more than I want to be.
And seeing the effects of that and still not stopping.
Worrying about details.
Details details details details. Not to mention: aaaaaaagh, what about the details?
It’s so much fun being around me.
Trying to figure out my calendar for the year.
Totally stresses me out.
Winter dark dark dark.
I like waking up early. And I like waking up to natural light. And those two things don’t go together.
Portland is still doing its flamboyantly gorgeous autumn thing but you can feel the dark and the cold creeping in, especially when I’m going about my morning rituals.
The good stuff
I have a crown.
Well, Hiro told me I should wear one for when I’m practicing my sovereignty stuff.
Because Hiro is awesome.
But then I was all frantic about good god, where am I going to get a crown?
And then I remembered that Dana the Spicy Princess gave me a tiara last year. Which is at least one reason why you should always have a friend who sells sex toys.
Actually, I’m not completely sure how those two things are connected, but Dana assures me they are.
Anyway. I am now a pretty pretty princess. And I have been wearing it while Making Difficult Decisions and deciding on navigational changes for the pirate ship.
Oh, the metaphors. They get mixed. But that’s okay.
Foods. Again.
Being back from Extremely Necessary Vacation means all sorts of good things.
I’m baking again. Home-baked bread! It is the best. Really, I’m not good at much in the kitchen aside from dancing in it, but I make fantastic bread.
There are hard-boiled eggs at breakfast. Which means I get to sing my little egg song.
It’s not the milk song, but I like it.
And my gentleman friend has been cooking up a storm. A storm!
Jennifer Louden: we love her.
You know Jennifer Louden, right? Smart, wonderful to-hell-with-self-improvement Jen? She generously agreed — almost a year ago — to teach a class for my At The Kitchen Table With Havi & Selma program. And it was this week.
And it was amazing.
That woman! I love her! She is full of smartnesses.
Hiro and Janet did a terrific job of facilitating, and the whole thing was just really cool. Yay.
Friends. In real life and stuff.
Hanging out with wonderful Dana, the aforementioned Spicy Princess.
Dangerously good brunch with Denise.
Finally got to meet Jason, whom you might know as @allpraxis (formerly @metanoid) if you’re on the twitters. I already thought he was awesome, and yes, I was completely right. Total sweetheart. He and Selma hit it off completely.
Since I normally don’t see anyone aside from Selma and the gentleman friend, this was an extremely social week for moi. Which is usually something that stresses me out, but this week was just lovely.
This coming week is the best week ever.
Not to jinx it or anything.
But tomorrow is Roller Derby! Derby! Ass-kicking! Me losing my voice again!
Also, did I mention a thousand times yet that Selma and I are sponsoring Guns N Rollers this year? Because wheeeeeee!
And then we will be visiting Hiro! Yay! I get to meet my dear friend in person! Very, very exciting.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
So this week, I bring you:
Dollop Of Hate
I think it’s that one death-metal band that plays at cupcake shops. Or something.
Anyway, it’s just one guy.
And … STUISMS of the week.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who delights in torturing me misunderstanding me. I can’t stand him.
This week’s gems:
- “doll up of Haight” instead of dollop of hate
- “It’s really sleazy for us to start tilting ourselves” instead of It’s really easy for us to start guilting ourselves
- “Mars or Mario’s Rotary” instead of tomorrow is roller derby
- “hardware will exit breakfast” instead of hard boiled eggs at breakfast
- “it’s always advocated in a cave to be healing” instead of it’s always an okay thing to be feeling
- “every venue to Tara” instead of everyone needs a tiara
- “for sure truce mentioned to Florence” instead of chartreuse magenta and orange
- “bang by Master Carl” instead of paying by mastercard
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
This is what I’m feeling.
I keep talking with people this week who are … who are feeling conflicted about feeling ambivalent about feeling whatever they’re feeling.
There’s got to be a better way to say that but I don’t know what it is.
It’s as if we forget that it doesn’t really matter what other people think we’re supposed to be feeling — or even what we think we’re supposed to be feeling.
What I think.
Ambivalence is absolutely legitimate. Always.
And yet there’s this weird societal thing* that comes into play when we think we know what we’re “supposed to be feeling”.
* I should mention: this does not happen to everybody. My gentleman friend, for example, does not doubt his feelings. It’s pretty cool. But it happens to me. And to a lot of my clients and students.
We put pressure on ourselves to feel a certain way when a certain something happens. Or we feel frustrated and anxious when the emotion we’re feeling doesn’t match the one we think we’re expected to feel.
Like this: we think that when we get the thing we’ve wanted for so long, we’re supposed to feel gleeful.
We’re supposed to feel overjoyed. We’re supposed to turn cartwheels and throw confetti and run into the sunset, kicking up our heels like Christopher Robin. And there will be jazz hands. Jazz hands!
It just doesn’t work like that.
At least, it doesn’t always work like that.
Because, you know, we’re complex beings.
We have mixed emotions. We have complicated and nuanced understandings of situations.
And we have our own personal history and relationships with different aspects of whatever situation we’re dealing with.
But here’s the really important part — and I’m saying this as much for me as I am for anyone else:
You are allowed to feel whatever it is you’re feeling.
If it’s something you’re feeling, it is a legitimate thing to feel.
No one gets to say, hey you’re feeling it wrong!
- You’re allowed to feel fearful and happy at the same time.
- You’re allowed to not know what you’re feeling.
- You’re allowed to want to feel something else than the thing that you’re feeling.
- It’s pretty much all fine.
The one thing that I am absolutely sure of is that ambivalence is totally normal.
It’s what’s for breakfast.
You don’t always feel sad when someone dies. You don’t always feel free when something ends. You don’t always feel happy when you do the thing you’ve been waiting to do.
One of the hardest parts about getting divorced (for me) was everyone going oh nooooooooooooooo. And not wanting to explain that what I was feeling was relief and fear and freedom. That it was complicated.
And you don’t have to feel happy when you get what you want.
True story: whenever I make any sort of big life change (or something that feels like a big life change), I start throwing up like crazy. Lovely symbolic body stuff.
When I stopped being a bartender and transitioned to full-time yoga teacher? Oh, the vomiting.
When I met my gentleman friend? I threw up all over the place. In fact, every time I’ve fallen in love that’s happened.
It’s not because these aren’t good things. It’s because processing change is scary and weird. Which is okay.
So feeling conflicted or confused or a bunch of mixed emotions doesn’t mean the thing isn’t actually what you want, or that you’re not grateful to have it.
And just because a decision doesn’t result in you feeling over-the-top elated doesn’t necessarily mean that it wasn’t a good decision.
It just means that you’re processing.
The only stuckified part is the guilt.
This is where I get stuck. I find myself saying things like, “Why am I so tired?” or “Why am I so sad?”
And I forget that … the thing you’re feeling is the thing you’re feeling.
So I’m really trying to work on rephrasing that stuff so that I can say things like this: “Wow. I seem to be really tired right now. I’m going to find out what I need.”
Or: “I don’t know yet what the reason is behind this sadness that I’m experiencing, but I’m sure it’s a good one, and that this is a reasonable thing to be feeling right now.”
Also, giving legitimacy to feelings is a really weird practice. And definitely not one that gets modeled a lot.
So. Here’s to not having to feel what you think you’re supposed to feel. And to not worrying about whether other people might take issue with whatever it is you’re feeling.
And feeling however you want to feel about that, dammit! Ha. Jazz hands!
Comment zen
We all have stuff. We’re all working on our stuff.
Item! Still talking about biscuits!
A somewhat goofy mini-collection of stuff I’ve been reading, stuff I’ve been thinking about and oh, some completely random crap.
Basically the stuff that never gets mentioned here because I’m not the kind of person who can just make some teeny little point. Not into the whole brevity thing, as the Dude would say.
Actually, I’m under the strict compulsion to write ten pages about anything on my mind. So this is me. Practicing brevity.
Oh boy! The Items (Item!) are back with a vengeance.
I thought I’d be able to take a break from Itemizing, but no. Things don’t Itemize themselves, you know.
Actually they do.
Item! Post No. 37 in a series that gets me to occasionally close like, 734 open tabs in Firefox at once.
Item! Deborah Weber is my favourite person in the entire world!
Remember when I went and bought that wacky Healthy Boundaries spray?
Because I needed some? Healthy boundaries, I mean. The fact that they came in spray form just made the whole thing more appealing.
And of course I didn’t think it would actually work or anything. Come on. I just thought it would be a Useful Reminder for the thing I was focusing on.
And then it worked so astoundingly well that I started obsessing over it.
So a while ago when I started getting really into sovereignty (the quality of owning your own space and not giving a damn about what other people think about that), I asked her if she had a spray for it.
I was kidding. Well, mostly kidding, partly hoping. And she said she did but that it wasn’t on the website. And I said something like get out of town!
And then forgot about it.
Deborah sent me a bottle of it this week. As a present. Because she’s the sweetest person alive.
Sovereignty spray! It is making me happy! And she just added it to her online store. Which is here, if you’re wondering.
She’s @DeborahWeber on Twitter.
Item! Snail mail tips!
Not a secret that I’m a big fan of Marissa Bracke, my genius First Mate who is one hell of a Can-Do-Ologist (and a fellow maker-upper of goofball business vocabulary).
This was a guest post of hers for Jen Hofmann (someone else I write about pretty much all the time.
“The items that require some interim step between receiving it in the mail and disposing of it are the ones that befuddle me, and often end up being tossed in a pile on my desk where they promptly… sit.
(Well, they sit *and* act as the foundation layer for additional pieces of “needs further action” snail mail that come later… so let’s not pretend that they’re completely useless.)”
The rest is here.
Also, if you need a Virtual Assistant (which is what other people call Can-Do-Ologists, I guess), I cannot recommend her highly enough. Go see if you’re one of her Right People.
Marissa is @marissabracke on Twitter and Jen is @inspiredjen.
Item! In which someone else needs a duck!
Yes, this post is actually called: In Which I Need A Duck
“And Selma, for Havi, is — as I interpret it, anyway — a sort of Shibboleth, a way of identifying who those people are.
Now, we all know there aren’t that many people even reading this, so the fact that you’re even here probably means you pass.
But I’m open to suggestions for my version of a Duck.”
I love this! Even more because the capitalization of Duck.
Item! Are you in Portland? In November?
Because my friend Carolyn is doing a cool thing.
(Some of you may remember Carolyn as the one who coached me through the hacker thing, and taught me important things about how it’s okay to be beautiful when you’re running a pirate ship.)
Anyway, she does small-group intuitive painting workshops that are all about accessing creativity and power and learning cool things about yourself.
I’m not doing them justice, but let me just say that anything Carolyn does is going to be pretty freaking powerful. She is a neat, neat lady and I can’t say enough good things about her.
Anyway, it’s happening the weekend of November 7th–8th in North Portland — 10am to 5pm both Saturday and Sunday with a break for lunch.
Details are here. If you happen to be in PDX and (knock on keyboard) there are still spaces left, I say do it!
Item! Speaking of things that are only available until early November!
I read on Jolie’s blog that she’s doing a big Clearing Out of Stuff as a fall ritual.
Which is a great idea, actually.
And as part of her Clearing Out, she’s removing all her jewelry listings from Etsy as of November 5.
“Since I don’t want this stuff just sitting in my studio, I’d love it if you bought it instead. That way I’m really clearing things out (since that’s kind of the point). It’s a win-win.
You get goodies and I get more space in my studio for painting stuff.”
Look at these Laurelhurst earrings. First of all: they’re gorgeous. Then there’s this beautiful tiny watercolor that goes with it. And a story. And they’re ridiculously affordable.
It almost makes me wish I had holes in my ears. But I don’t. But some of you probably do. Or know people who do.
So if you feel like buying them earrings, this is a great time for it. Plus you get to support a talented Portland artist and make someone happy.
Item! I am a terrible stalker.
Oh, remember last week when I was all look at me, stalking Colleen? No?
I think my point was hey, that’s mostly why I got on Twitter, to obsessively follow around the mad, fabulous Communicatrix herself.
So let me just say that I’m not very good at it.
Because then I got a card from her in the mail about how wonderful I am. See? She knows my address and I didn’t even know hers until I got the card. That’s how ineffectual a stalker I am.
She also told me when she’s coming to Portland. Which is really so that I can clear my calendar and make room for buying her biscuits. Because clearly she knows which side her biscuits are buttered on. ROWR.
Anyway, there will be biscuits. And maybe she’ll agree to teach a class with me called Being Obsessive: Doing It Right For Once.
Also my gentleman friend is very happy about all of this because he’s a huge Colleen-fan as well.
She’s @Communicatrix on Twitter and we love her.
Item! Update from the land of the Peculiar & Hilarious Shivanauts!
The “peculiar and hilarious” thing comes from Melynda’s sweet bit about Butterfly Wishes.
I’ve been avoiding writing this particular piece for oh, I don’t know … five years?
People often get a little confused about why I would want to teach something that is challenging to the point of impossible and also supposedly very not fun.
And what they’re wondering is something like, no, seriously, why would any sane person ever want to do this?
And I have so much to say about that, but I really had to wait until I found the right words and the right place in my heart, so that I could give a loving answer that is also a fun answer and a true answer.
The post is called why would you possibly want to do this?
And I think it’s super useful even if you’re not at all interested in Shiva Nata.
Item! Comments!
So it was really cool the other week when I got to work on my practice of how I ask for stuff and you guys gave me the best recommendations ever!
Here’s what I want this time:
- Someone or something I’ve tragically neglected to Itemize.
- Anything else you’re thinking about (uh, lines from Say Anything?)
My commitment.
I am committed to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible for me.
Even though asking for what I want still feels awkward for me, I’m just going to remind myself that this is a thing I’m practicing.
That is all.
Happy reading.
And happy Blustery Windsday. See you tomorrow.
Taking a stand.
I have been working on a Declaration of Independence. Actually, it’s more like a Declaration of This Is My Life, Dammit.
All this because I told the participants of my Right People Clinic that helping your Right People understand that they are, in fact, your Right People, is all about being clear.
Well, not having to be clear or anything. More like making room for things to get clear. Or clear-er.
What I really mean by being clear.
Being clear about what you stand for and what you care about and what you will not put up with, dammit.
Being clear and using the word dammit as often as possible, dammit. If only just in your head.
Oh, and let me say that yes, dammit is the most important word when you’re manifesto-ing it up, and ideally every sentence ends with it.*
Even though it can really just be implied.
*Like this: “My business is about helping people, dammit!”
Writing it down.
Think of your manifesto-ey thing as a big yeah-baby declaration of what you believe in and what you will not put up with.
Obviously, you can call it whatever you want. A declaration. A list of “here are my principles”. A battle cry.
The point is: people know where you stand. You know where you stand.
Harder than it sounds?
Hahahahaha. Oh, absolutely. For me, at least.
I’ve been running up against all kinds of stucknesses trying to write mine.
So. Here were my general guidelines for writing one, in case it helps:
1. No one has to read this. Ever.
The stuff in my Declaration of Being Fabulously Independent is for me. It’s for my clarity.
My being clear on stuff — and the experience of getting closer to this sense of clarity — will help me connect with my Right People whether or not I ever declare my Declaration of Things I Declare out loud.
2. I am allowed to be as ridiculous with it as I want.
If one of the things on my List Of Points That Define The Way My Business And My Life Function is that Billy Joel (Glass Houses-era) is my mentor, or that I jump on my trampoline-thing when people annoy me, fine.
And it’s a legitimate thing to stand for.
Not everything in the I Can’t Touch My Manifestoes has to be especially (or even slightly) deep or powerful or meaningful.
It just doesn’t.
That’s because it’s my Declaration of This Is How I Do Stuff And Baby That’s How It Is, and therefore everything on it belongs there.
3. I can take inspiration from anywhere I like.
I always think of my friend Pam Slim’s excellent take on this — like her super-inspiring screw-you Open Letter To CEOs, which still gives me the chills.
Or like this: (man, this was ages ago – I can’t believe I’ve been reading her blog for almost four years)
“I promote liberation from oppressive environments, relationships, limiting beliefs and unhealthy lifestyles. I live my life consistent with this value and encourage my clients to do the same.”
Or there’s Chris’s brief guide to world domination that does something similar.
And I definitely take inspiration from Mark who leads by example and plays frisbee in the middle of the day, and mixes Sufism into his business biggification teaching.
Pretty much anything that helps me feel inspired to do my own thing and do it my way is useful here.
Havi’s Partial and Temporary List of Things That Might Belong in A Declaration of Something … Uh, Dammit.
- I don’t have a resume.
- My business partner is a duck.
- I retain the right to do business in my pajamas.
- Nothing can make me go to Las Vegas.
- I refuse to have a desk. I don’t like desks. That’s why my desk is a chaise lounge.
- I shouldn’t have to wait for an impending break-down to take a day off.
- I am a writer, even if that’s sometimes hard for me to say. And Writer Me gets treated with respect.
- I always have permission to go do a few minutes of Shiva Nata.
- Emotional manipulation in business is icky. I won’t do it. I don’t care how many people say it’s “just part of business”. To hell with that.
- I refuse to write “promotional emails” to a list. Or any emails, to anyone. But definitely not promotional ones.
- Actually, I don’t want to sell anything.*
- Ever.**
- If I want to wear a tiara while on the phone, no one can stop me.
* I don’t mind having stuff that people can buy, as I’ve mentioned. But I’m not going to push it. I don’t have to. And I won’t. At most, I’ll mention on the blog that hey, I’m doing a thing. But not for more than maybe a paragraph.
** All together now: “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”
Other thoughts.
As far as I can tell, the essential thing in this whole process — like every other thing we’re working on — is about meeting yourself where you are.
Which means …
- Not making it be about where you wish you were.
- Or at least noticing that hey, I’m making it about that again …
- Reminding yourself: “Yeah. Even though I’m not there yet, this is what I’m working on right now.”
In practice, meeting yourself where you are also means fitting the items in your List Of Stuff You Stand For to what you’re actually doing right now.
So if you’re stuck doing something you hate, your Declaration of Things That Are Really Important To You might be more about themes of independence.
And what you need right now. And how you’re going to be interacting with those themes and needs.
If you’re doing what you want to be doing, you can do this too, of course. And you might also find yourself adding on things like this:
I will never go through a job interview again. You can’t make me. And I’m not going to.
Anyway, you get to play with it. You get to skip the parts that are too stressful. You get to have fun.
Ideally, your Hey I Have Things To Say About My Life And How It Works Statement is something that makes you feel better about things, and not something that’s completely depressing and horrible.
Play with me?
Mine is extremely incomplete. A work in progress. Very in progress.
But it’s a start. It’s tiny little glimpses of clarity and direction. Which is useful.
Anyway, I guess my point is ignore the bits that aren’t useful for you and do the parts that do help you have fun with it.
And if you want to share bits and pieces of your own Declaration of Things That Make It A Glorrrrrious Day (or thoughts about the process) that would be lovely. Yay!
Comment zen, as usual, is as follows:
We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We’re practicing.