Announcement & ebook reminder

If you’ve already given to Barrington’s Discretionary last year or this year, you should have received my ebook (by email) on how I approach and plan my year, how I think about time and am in relationship with time.

You’ll get a copy as a thank you when you give any sum to Barrington’s Discretionary Fund, hope you enjoy!

More housekeeping: You can subscribe to posts by email again!

If you aren’t seeing these updates in your in your email and want to, you can can solve that here.

This will pop up a new page on Follow.It that lets you subscribe via email, newsletter, or RSS reader. They say “expect 50 stories a week”, and yikes to that imaginary number, once a week is the dream.

Solstice Wishes

You are here

Keeping this short because of nerve pain in my arm, just a quick quarterly review, so to speak.

And some breaths for sweetness to accompany this entry into the new quarter.

We made it. We’re here. Good job. Bravely done, and lucky. Both at the same time.

Thinking too of those of you reading this in the southern hemisphere where you are deep in winter. Some of this might not apply. I know you will find your own version of solstice wishing rituals…

What was this past quarter about for me

Seasonality, really watching how things change as weather conditions moved me from snow days all the way into siesta days…

Exquisite self-tending, even when I didn’t want to.

Slowly planning the particulars of a big trip, which involved (and continues to involve) a lot of improvising. Aka the ability to stay flexible and agile, not reacting too much to the many obstacles, just keeping it moving.

But mainly it has taught me about what happens when I can’t keep it moving, when a period of Enforced Rest presents itself, and how I can be both more patient and more playful when this happens, instead of fighting it or seeing it as a portent of doom.

And of course, it always comes back to rituals for me

Ritual ritual ritual ritual, but also letting the rituals change. Rituals plus fluidity, adaptability, curiosity, playfulness, a willingness to allow things to find a new shape.

Cake & Coffee Club, also known as C&C Ritual Club, was the perfect thing until it got too hot to bake and too hot to care about coffee.

Now it’s all about very cold juice. Thank you, Kellan, for the recommendation to add a splash of lemon juice and a pinch of salt to cold watermelon juice. That is sustaining me right now.

Giving the rituals room to move with the seasons. That feels important right now. When it’s 95 degrees (36 Celsius), I am not making cake. I am in bed. And the rituals can move with me.

What worked?

Early to bed.

Cowboy Chore Hour.

Morning jog.

Analog Chrysalis (experiments in reducing screen time).

What was delicious?

More hiking. More focus.

Fried shallots with sweet corn and jalapeño.

Taking more time.

What wants or needs to be eliminated?

Oh good lord, everything? Most things.

Did a deep spring cleaning but I think it’s kind of a situation of everything must go.

On a more internal level, I would like so much more high regard, to hold myself in higher regard, expect to be treated with so much more respect, walk away sooner and faster when I am not.

Let’s eliminate the putting up with less than, or maybe the phrase is settling for downgrades. Let’s be done with that. Let’s rededicate to being held in high regard.

What wants or needs to be illuminated?

Staying focused on what is working, and strengthening that, anchoring that, adding on more things that work.

Staying attuned to weather and mood and external factors, and then, given the circumstances, not trying to push things that can’t be pushed.

What motivates me? Checking in on that without judgment. Use what works.

Deliberate beauty, or: deliberate attention to beauty. Follow that. If it brings you joy, there’s something there.

Again, I am noticing the pattern where I judge what brings me joy, but what if I skip that part?

Let’s name some wishes for this new quarter! Wishes of…

First a wish about releasing anger and resentment — both of which are very legitimate and reasonable, so first I want to acknowledge that by noticing how they keep showing up in my arm, and get better at protecting myself from and in these situations that elicit resentment.

A wish about sacrosanct writing time, even if it’s for my own journaling.

A wish about a glorious return to things that work, with no judgment about taking a break for however long that break was needed, or however it happened to go.

Wishes about the feel of doing, the feel of not doing

A wish about Aesthetics of Activity, bringing more pleasure and awareness into the movements of the day’s work.

A wish about Aesthetics of Rest, something about cozy nesting time and upping the deliciousness of the times that are for Not Doing, or Doing Some Beautiful Nothing.

Wishes about…

There is no early and no late. I am right on time in my life and process.

Approaching with kindness.

Glowing boundaries with less effort: they hold themselves and adapt as needed, because the principles still stand. Again, this is about holding myself in higher regard.

Finding the good without forcing yourself to find the good

Finding treasure in the tangled, maybe even in the hurt.

Not forcing this, just staying curious and receptive to some hidden good.

You can’t push a silver lining and you can’t rush a silver lining, but you can stay ready, you can train at noticing.

We trained for this.

Solstice Obsessions

Let’s welcome some sweet summer obsessions.

Maybe I don’t know what they are yet, because I am in travel mode, on the road. Or pre-travel mode.

Though today I am traveling because I need someone to tend to my arm.

Maybe the new obsessions will reveal themselves. I hope so!

I love nothing more than landing on a good obsession. Or maybe it will find me first. Either way, I know it will be fun.

What am I looking forward to?

Is this even the right question? It doesn’t feel like it, or at least not yet.

Maybe that part is a surprise.

Right now I just want to get this trip over with, but what if I can be surprised by joy, surprised by sweetness, surprised by Loving Clarity, surprised by good things?

Seeding the qualities

Agility. Prowess.
Tenacity. Fierce.
Steadiness. Wildness.
Glowing. Alive.

I am tough, powerful, striking, dangerous, capable, and very funny. That’s a place to start. (You are here.)

Devoted to freedom, devoted to pleasure, devoted to devotion.

Finding the treasure in the deficits

Am I a bit of a chaos agent? Yes, but maybe that is what this mission requires. We trained for this.

Is it possible that I will get to Michigan and after twenty four hours be like, oh you know what, fuck this shit, I am out….????

Oh for sure, that’s an option, maybe even a likely one. Listen, babe. This trip doesn’t lose its value if we call it off as soon as we get there.

Am I feeling anxious, apprehensive and irritable? Sure. That’s reasonable!

The perceived disadvantages are not disadvantages

None of these things need to be disadvantages or reasons to think I can’t do what is needed. Or they don’t have to be.

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature. Or something like that.

I am the person for the job because I am the person for the job.

Solstice self, what do you know?

Solstice self says: stay with what you’re good at. Keep training compassion on yourself with a steady aim.

You will find the joys and the pleasures, you are good at that. You will stand up for yourself. You will be a beacon of loving clarity and high self regard.

These will be challenging, but you can do it. Eyes on the prize. (The prize being, as always, taking care of yourself because no one else is going to.)

Did you figure out what you’re angry about, babe? It’s that you’ve had to fight to take care of yourself, and you perceive that people don’t appreciate the amount of care and effort and fighting involved in making this trip happen.

Solstice self, what is needed?

Solstice self says: It doesn’t matter whether or not people understand your needs. You have to just stand on it anyway, you know?

Your needs don’t change based on whether external sources validate them or not. Your needs are your needs. Travel accordingly.

Don’t argue with people. Just build your time as needed, take your time as needed, nap as needed. I need to rest now. That’s a full sentence. Use it. Use it before you need it.

Any other advice for me?

Solstice self says: stay attuned to bobcat powers.

Bobcat powers include…

Unapologetic rest. Steady and fierce. Leave when you’re bored. Fully committed to instinct and reflexes. Stretch it out and luxuriate. Follow what is pleasurable.

Surround yourself with these panther and jaguar powers, this Big Cat Entourage of spiritual qualities, find your fierceness again and stay with it. You trained for this.

Be the big cat. This is your game.

Entering as we wish to be in it…

And exiting as we wish to continue…

Something I am taking with me from equinox to solstice: reacting less, resting more.

Something I am releasing: being too flexible and not boundaried, letting situations rattle me.

Something I am inviting in: those fierce yet playful bobcat qualities and abilities.

Let’s stay agile and let’s stay striking, nap time is for napping, play time is for playing, I can shift modes as needed.

Are things feeling intense right now?

Are things feeling intense right now? They are for me.

I think it’s the full moon, but maybe it’s this sensation of everything moving and shifting at once, even as I practice stillness as self-preservation.

What are your wishes for this new quarter?

Let’s keep asking these questions and see where they take us. What would you like for this new quarter?

I am lighting a candle for us. Oh wow, what beautiful wishes. What a brave thing it is to allow ourselves to want something better for us and for the world.

Come play in the comments, I appreciate the company

You are welcome to share anything that sparked for you while reading, anything that helped or anything on your mind, make some wishes! I am lighting a candle for all of it.

Or anything you’d like to toss into the wishing pot, the healing power of the collective is no small thing, companionship helps.

Whatever comes to mind (come to heart?), let’s support each other’s hope-sparks and wishes…

Thank you to everyone who reads, porch breaths, the winding path, the many clues that land when they land, receptivity, keeping on keeping on.

New ebook alert!!!

Aka fun bonus material on how I relate to time and map out my quarters for the year.

Anyone who gives to Barrington’s Discretionary this week (see below) will get this by email as a pdf!

A request

If you received clues or perspective or want to send appreciation for the writing and work/play we do here, I appreciate it tremendously. Between Long Covid and traumatic brain injury recovery, things are slow going.

I am accepting support (with joy & gratitude) in the form of Appreciation Money to Barrington’s Discretionary Fund. Asking is not where my strength resides but Brave & Stalwart is the theme these days, and pattern-rewriting is the work, it all helps with fixing the many broken things.

And if those aren’t options, I get it, you can light a candle for support (or light one in your mind!), share this with someone who loves words, tell people about these techniques, approaches and themes, send them here, it all helps, it’s all welcome, and I appreciate it and you so much. ❤️