I was sitting in a cafe, wearing a pig hat. In front of me: the LARGEST sandwich available, and a tall glass of milk.

Not tea. Whole milk!

Because the piggy on my head told me to. But now I have to back up.

Cue subtitle card:

Last month….at the February Rally (Rally!)

Fade out.

So I was at Rally.

I was sitting in a nest of cushions, doing some negotiating — and also some coloring — with a very emphatic monster who had strong opinions about financial stuff. Specifically related to the business expansion and the new, much-bigger Playground.

This monster had a lot to say about how Wanting Too Much leads to danger and DOOM.

And the monster kept throwing in my face words that other people have said. Words that implied-hinted-indicated that these people think I want too much.

The monster reminded me: When I started this new giant expansion project, someone called me a greedy little piggy. In the middle of a meeting.

As if this was a completely normal thing to say. The guy even said it with warmth, with a twinkle in his eye.

“Well, aren’t you just a greedy little piggy!”

No one else at the meeting acted like it was a weird thing to say, so I ignored it and we continued the meeting.

But when the monster brought it up, he knew it would hurt. And it did. So I removed myself to the refueling station where I could interact with my stuff from a safe room.

Translations. Me, to myself:

Okay, sweetie. Here’s what we’re going to do. Let’s drop whatever internal rules or assumptions say that this was a mean judgment on me.

I mean, it might have been. Theoretically. It totally could be. But what if it wasn’t? Can we at least find out?

I want to be curious about all the ways that being a greedy little piggy is a neutral thing or not a negative thing, or maybe even a compliment. Even if, yes, it happens to be phrased in words that I personally don’t like.

Let’s get metaphor mouse to help with the translating.

Current personal associations or definitions that have to do with this phrase.

What do I (just me, not anyone else) think of when I think of someone who is a Greedy Little Piggy?

Wanting. Doing anything to get the thing that’s wanted. Conniving, even.

Desirous. But desirous at the expense of others.

And in this metaphor, if I’m a pig, then the person who called me pig is the farmer. Which could mean that I, as the always-hungry pig, am sapping him dry of resources, that I am an expense.

Or it could mean that I am going to be dinner, which is also not good.

But there are other negative things in there for me. Like: [+useless] [+excessive] [+lazy] [+needy] [+only caring about self].

Also something that is small and helpless — it can’t even get what it wants but is just filled with wanting.

Oh, pain! Okay, permission for the pain to exist. Releasing old pain to the elevator shaft. Elevator shaft!

Okay, and what would my ideal translation include?

Well, if Greedy Little Piggy meant the thing that I would want someone to say about me in that situation, it would be this:

“Havi is someone who knows who she is and knows what she wants.”

There would still be desire, but it would be more about the ESSENCE of desire. Desire as a quality.

It would be about joyful pleasure and wanting what you want. And following the want, to learn about it.

Also, pigs are cute! And they enjoy being fed, and this doesn’t harm anyone.

And maybe the pigs are smart for valuing food and growth.

And also is there anything cuter than a tiny little pig in its pigness? Basking in its adorable little pig suchness?

So like that.

But!

Me: But I still feel really uncomfortable!

Slightly wiser me: Honey, you’re allowed to feel uncomfortable. It makes sense that you’d feel uncomfortable.

And here’s the thing. You don’t have to self-identify as a greedy little piggy. All we’re trying to do here is to defuse this phrase, and release the pain that’s attaching to it.

Once we clear out the phrase, you still don’t have to use it.

What if we did the thing we did with the hackers and looked for the useful inside the shadow?

Alright. When is it useful to be “greedy”?

Wanting what you want.

Knowing what that is.

Certainty.

Having desires to do beautiful things in the world.

But! But! I still don’t like this. To me, GREEDY contains [+insidious] and [+wrongdoing].

I know that we’re operating under the assumption that it could turn out there’s actually nothing negative inside of the phrase/concept Greedy Little Piggy. But I just don’t see how this can work.

I mean, to me greedy means MORE THAN YOUR SHARE. That feels like an important component to the word (for me), and I’m not willing to let that go.

Slightly wiser me: No one is going to make you let that go. If it’s important, then it’s important. Let’s investigate that.

What do I know about SHARE?

Or: what are my rules about shares of things, as related to enoughness?

Ah, this rule exists in a world of zero-sum transactions. If everyone has an equal share, then someone wanting more means others get less.

But we already know (from previous internal investigations on the topic of monies and space and time and enough), that this is not true.

We know that the things we want are self-generating and do not diminish anyone else’s supply.

So if everyone has a share, what does that mean? What IS everyone’s share?

Their share is to connect to themselves. To connect to [insert word for source or universe or presence here].

To want beauty, love, appreciation, sustainability, joy, wholeness.

So if that’s true, there is no such thing as MORE than your share, because shares are endless possibility. Share = unlimited potential. Wanting more doesn’t cut into someone else’s share because your own share of access to spiritual qualities is endless. Infinite. Like in the secret cave.

Distortions, again.

Of course!

“Greedy” is a distortion. It is the not-flattering word that is often used as a misunderstanding of things like DESIRE and PLENTY and RECEPTIVITY.

Just like how “not ambitious” can sometimes be the distortion of PATIENCE, or how “picky” is a distortion of DISCERNMENT.

But really a greedy little piggy is a creature of god, living its pig-ness, fulfilling its mission.

And my mission is to expand, create, give, grow, heal and transform. To be a very specific kind of conduit. To hold culture, and to bring magical, playful, wondrous things into the world for the benefit of everyone I encounter.

So guess what? If my pig-ness helps that mission, I will accept that pig-ness. In its pure form. Pure unadulterated desire for being myself in my me-ness.

When I do that, it doesn’t matter whether or not people have good intentions behind their words. Because I’m not going into my own distortions.

What is good about pigs?

I asked the marvelous people at Rally (Rally!) to tell me good things about pigs, and here’s what they told me.

Pigs are smart! They’re smarter than dogs.

Pigs are clean.

Pigs are kind. When you are kind to them, they are kind back.

When you are a pig, you can eat anything and be happy.

Pigs root around and make amazing gardens.

Also you can save up pennies in them for a rainy day!
Drawing by Jessica.

They also reminded me of all the pigs that are already in my life.

Like Rex! Pictured here. Photo courtesy of my phone.

And Piglet.

And Freddy the Pig! And Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web, who is not a genius like Freddy but is also a sweetheart.

And Miss Piggy! Moi?!

And all the pigs at the pub.

And then one of them gave me a piggy hat and I did a piggy dance in it and wore it to teach Shiva Nata. So there.

So I’m experimenting.

Being the most adorable desirous little piggy ever.

Wanting what I want, unapologetically. And letting that be charming and inspiring instead of having to make it something else.

In the cafe I was about to order tea. But then the piggy on my head whimpered and contradicted me, in the most adorable little voice ever: “No! No tea! A tall glass of milk!”.

So I got a tall glass of milk.

And drank it. In my pig hat. And ate my lunch for breakfast. It was exactly what I wanted.

What I would love today in the commenting blanket fort.

Do you guys know nice things about pigs?

Please no bacon-references. This is NOT an eating pig. It is me, who is also a vegetarian. And this pig thing is really important to me.

What I’m really interested in is positive pig-related things. Adorable pig photos, representations, heroic pigs, admirable pigs.

That would be lovely.

And if you want to run any internal investigations or rewrite words and phrases that need to be rewritten, you’re more than welcome to play here.

We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We make this a safe space by owning what’s ours, and making room for people to have their own experience.

Love to all the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.

p.s. This coming Monday is already Rally #18. I can’t wait to find out what crazy wonderful adventures are going to happen there. And maybe I will get to see you at Rally in July?