What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Friday Chicken #189: skirting around
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
The hard stuff
Too much doing. Not enough exit from doing.
Back to back meetings means no time to review and recover.
It doesn’t work. Not for me.
I already knew this, but now I know it.
Weekend full of work stuff.
I mistakenly learned as a child that working evening and weekends “doesn’t count”. It’s just this thing that you do. And if you’re teaching or facilitating, then it’s not work either.
And of course, in this world of internal distortions, there is no such thing as, say, getting to work fewer hours in the day if you are doing more work in the evening. Yep.
There were so many things that absolutely had to be done this weekend because otherwise this week would be a disaster.
Like writing up the lighting concept in time to run it for approval, reviewing a bunch of applications, writing the invitation for the painting party, sending the First Mate the notes from the meeting with the attorney, painting in the new Playground.
And I felt really rebellious about that.
Sore from painting and from too much work.
Tight tight tight.
The pain of wanting and waiting.
Wanting things that aren’t options right now/yet.
Or maybe not at all.
Processing a lot of sadness about that.
People still want to tell me how they think I should perceive or process.
I don’t actually care how anyone else would process my process.
That’s the whole point. It’s my process.
So many gigantic projects.
We’re essentially opening six different-but-related businesses in the new space.
And each one comes with its own learning curve and challenges.
This week was about how exhausting that is.
The one thing that really has to be done today and does not seem to be even close.
Aaaaaaargh.
The good stuff
Magic.
I was able to easily and gracefully skirt around a potential GIANT LANDMINE this week, all because of having done the alignment exercise.
During a meeting with someone, she got triggered and instantly sunk deep into her stuff. Since her stuff overlaps with my stuff, normally this would have set me off too, but it didn’t because I’d spent an entire hour clearing my part of it out beforehand.
Thank god, thank god for the chrysalis last week.
Muscle-testing everything.
I forget this all the time, that it’s such a shortcut to listening.
Everything is easier when your body can tell you what you already want.
As Bryan puts it: Instead of deciding, just honor the decisions your body has already made.
This is my biggest challenge, but this week went a little better.
Tramp tramp tramp tramp.
Back to the bouncing, and it helps.
Of course! Garlands!
The answer to EVERYTHING this week was garlands!
And each time I’d get completely tangled up in how to solve a problem, but then the answer would reveal itself.
It was garlands. Every single time. Apparently you can solve anything with a garland. That was useful to know.
I understood something I thought I already knew.
Thanks to Shiva Nata, I got to relearn something important in a deep, visceral, full-body-knowing kind of way.
This is a really, really, really big deal.
Help from Ath.
She’s the best.
New Playground is starting to really come together.
Now that the columns are painted, it feels like home.
Hey, everything is better than last year.
Thank you, systems. Thank you, sovereignty. Thank you, containers. Thank you, having learned a bunch of stuff the hard way.
This Monday is Rally (Rally!)
Yay! Everything is better when it’s Rally.
Thank you.
Thank you, Gwen, Shannon and Eve for gorgeous fabrics.
Thank you, Pearl, for the wonderful book — the Playground loves it. And thanks Annaliese for the just-right stickers!
Thank you, Cynthia, for being so helpful and giving me lots of useful ideas about production.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is from Philly and they’re called:
The Just Right Stickers
It’s bluegrass-swing with some unexpected accordion action.
Though, as it turns out, the band is really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
- Come to a Rally (Rally!) and change how you approach every single thing that happens in your life so that it’s more fun, more doable/ meaningful/accessible/pleasurable/sustainable. The 2012 Rallies are mostly sold out, but there are a few openings for May, June and September.
- The monster manual & coloring book solved most of my problems this week. Highly recommended
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Piggy!
I was sitting in a cafe, wearing a pig hat. In front of me: the LARGEST sandwich available, and a tall glass of milk.
Not tea. Whole milk!
Because the piggy on my head told me to. But now I have to back up.
Cue subtitle card:
Last month….at the February Rally (Rally!)
Fade out.
So I was at Rally.
I was sitting in a nest of cushions, doing some negotiating — and also some coloring — with a very emphatic monster who had strong opinions about financial stuff. Specifically related to the business expansion and the new, much-bigger Playground.
This monster had a lot to say about how Wanting Too Much leads to danger and DOOM.
And the monster kept throwing in my face words that other people have said. Words that implied-hinted-indicated that these people think I want too much.
The monster reminded me: When I started this new giant expansion project, someone called me a greedy little piggy. In the middle of a meeting.
As if this was a completely normal thing to say. The guy even said it with warmth, with a twinkle in his eye.
“Well, aren’t you just a greedy little piggy!”
No one else at the meeting acted like it was a weird thing to say, so I ignored it and we continued the meeting.
But when the monster brought it up, he knew it would hurt. And it did. So I removed myself to the refueling station where I could interact with my stuff from a safe room.
Translations. Me, to myself:
Okay, sweetie. Here’s what we’re going to do. Let’s drop whatever internal rules or assumptions say that this was a mean judgment on me.
I mean, it might have been. Theoretically. It totally could be. But what if it wasn’t? Can we at least find out?
I want to be curious about all the ways that being a greedy little piggy is a neutral thing or not a negative thing, or maybe even a compliment. Even if, yes, it happens to be phrased in words that I personally don’t like.
Let’s get metaphor mouse to help with the translating.
Current personal associations or definitions that have to do with this phrase.
What do I (just me, not anyone else) think of when I think of someone who is a Greedy Little Piggy?
Wanting. Doing anything to get the thing that’s wanted. Conniving, even.
Desirous. But desirous at the expense of others.
And in this metaphor, if I’m a pig, then the person who called me pig is the farmer. Which could mean that I, as the always-hungry pig, am sapping him dry of resources, that I am an expense.
Or it could mean that I am going to be dinner, which is also not good.
But there are other negative things in there for me. Like: [+useless] [+excessive] [+lazy] [+needy] [+only caring about self].
Also something that is small and helpless — it can’t even get what it wants but is just filled with wanting.
Oh, pain! Okay, permission for the pain to exist. Releasing old pain to the elevator shaft. Elevator shaft!
Okay, and what would my ideal translation include?
Well, if Greedy Little Piggy meant the thing that I would want someone to say about me in that situation, it would be this:
“Havi is someone who knows who she is and knows what she wants.”
There would still be desire, but it would be more about the ESSENCE of desire. Desire as a quality.
It would be about joyful pleasure and wanting what you want. And following the want, to learn about it.
Also, pigs are cute! And they enjoy being fed, and this doesn’t harm anyone.
And maybe the pigs are smart for valuing food and growth.
And also is there anything cuter than a tiny little pig in its pigness? Basking in its adorable little pig suchness?
So like that.
But!
Me: But I still feel really uncomfortable!
Slightly wiser me: Honey, you’re allowed to feel uncomfortable. It makes sense that you’d feel uncomfortable.
And here’s the thing. You don’t have to self-identify as a greedy little piggy. All we’re trying to do here is to defuse this phrase, and release the pain that’s attaching to it.
Once we clear out the phrase, you still don’t have to use it.
What if we did the thing we did with the hackers and looked for the useful inside the shadow?
Alright. When is it useful to be “greedy”?
Wanting what you want.
Knowing what that is.
Certainty.
Having desires to do beautiful things in the world.
But! But! I still don’t like this. To me, GREEDY contains [+insidious] and [+wrongdoing].
I know that we’re operating under the assumption that it could turn out there’s actually nothing negative inside of the phrase/concept Greedy Little Piggy. But I just don’t see how this can work.
I mean, to me greedy means MORE THAN YOUR SHARE. That feels like an important component to the word (for me), and I’m not willing to let that go.
Slightly wiser me: No one is going to make you let that go. If it’s important, then it’s important. Let’s investigate that.
What do I know about SHARE?
Or: what are my rules about shares of things, as related to enoughness?
Ah, this rule exists in a world of zero-sum transactions. If everyone has an equal share, then someone wanting more means others get less.
But we already know (from previous internal investigations on the topic of monies and space and time and enough), that this is not true.
We know that the things we want are self-generating and do not diminish anyone else’s supply.
So if everyone has a share, what does that mean? What IS everyone’s share?
Their share is to connect to themselves. To connect to [insert word for source or universe or presence here].
To want beauty, love, appreciation, sustainability, joy, wholeness.
So if that’s true, there is no such thing as MORE than your share, because shares are endless possibility. Share = unlimited potential. Wanting more doesn’t cut into someone else’s share because your own share of access to spiritual qualities is endless. Infinite. Like in the secret cave.
Distortions, again.
Of course!
“Greedy” is a distortion. It is the not-flattering word that is often used as a misunderstanding of things like DESIRE and PLENTY and RECEPTIVITY.
Just like how “not ambitious” can sometimes be the distortion of PATIENCE, or how “picky” is a distortion of DISCERNMENT.
But really a greedy little piggy is a creature of god, living its pig-ness, fulfilling its mission.
And my mission is to expand, create, give, grow, heal and transform. To be a very specific kind of conduit. To hold culture, and to bring magical, playful, wondrous things into the world for the benefit of everyone I encounter.
So guess what? If my pig-ness helps that mission, I will accept that pig-ness. In its pure form. Pure unadulterated desire for being myself in my me-ness.
When I do that, it doesn’t matter whether or not people have good intentions behind their words. Because I’m not going into my own distortions.
What is good about pigs?
I asked the marvelous people at Rally (Rally!) to tell me good things about pigs, and here’s what they told me.
Pigs are smart! They’re smarter than dogs.
Pigs are clean.
Pigs are kind. When you are kind to them, they are kind back.
When you are a pig, you can eat anything and be happy.
Pigs root around and make amazing gardens.
Also you can save up pennies in them for a rainy day!
Drawing by Jessica.
They also reminded me of all the pigs that are already in my life.
Like Rex! Pictured here. Photo courtesy of my phone.
And Piglet.
And Freddy the Pig! And Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web, who is not a genius like Freddy but is also a sweetheart.
And Miss Piggy! Moi?!
And all the pigs at the pub.
And then one of them gave me a piggy hat and I did a piggy dance in it and wore it to teach Shiva Nata. So there.
So I’m experimenting.
Being the most adorable desirous little piggy ever.
Wanting what I want, unapologetically. And letting that be charming and inspiring instead of having to make it something else.
In the cafe I was about to order tea. But then the piggy on my head whimpered and contradicted me, in the most adorable little voice ever: “No! No tea! A tall glass of milk!”.
So I got a tall glass of milk.
And drank it. In my pig hat. And ate my lunch for breakfast. It was exactly what I wanted.
What I would love today in the commenting blanket fort.
Do you guys know nice things about pigs?
Please no bacon-references. This is NOT an eating pig. It is me, who is also a vegetarian. And this pig thing is really important to me.
What I’m really interested in is positive pig-related things. Adorable pig photos, representations, heroic pigs, admirable pigs.
That would be lovely.
And if you want to run any internal investigations or rewrite words and phrases that need to be rewritten, you’re more than welcome to play here.
We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We make this a safe space by owning what’s ours, and making room for people to have their own experience.
Love to all the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
p.s. This coming Monday is already Rally #18. I can’t wait to find out what crazy wonderful adventures are going to happen there. And maybe I will get to see you at Rally in July?
Very Personal Ads #139: at the helm
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: Rededication of a space.
Here’s what I want:
My pirate queen quarters at the Playground.
They are the heart. They are the helm. They are the bridge. Where the genius is supposed to happen.
But that’s not what it’s like in real life.
Despite all my best efforts to not let this incredibly important space become storage, that keeps happening. This needs to change.
And this space needs a re-dedication.
Ways this could work:
With words.
Maybe a new metaphor. Maybe a new story.
Muscle testing. Shiva Nata.
I’ll play with…
Talking to Ath. She knows best.
Thing 2: Similarly…. changes to the Playground Caboose.
Here’s what I want:
Now that we’ve been decorating the new Playground (today we painted the Toy Shop!), I’m noticing all the changes I’d like to make to the current Playground, in the process of becoming the Playground Caboose.
But all my time/money/attention is going to the new space.
I’d like to make some symbolic congruence-filled changes to the upstairs Playground.
Ways this could work:
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
I’ll play with…
Interviewing the me who has already done this.
Thing 3: The Wiki. Help?
Here’s what I want:
We want a wiki to track all the stuff that is happening at the new space.
Where multiple people can easily access and edit.
Most of our people are relatively tech-savvy but we still want something that doesn’t require a lot of explaining.
So I want the right software to volunteer itself, the website to be set-up and implementation to begin. It’s a lot. But I’m asking.
Ways this could work:
I asked at the Twitter bar.
I’m asking you guys.
Note: WIKI. Not Basecamp, please. That’s not what I want.
I’ll play with…
Trusting that the right thing will reveal itself.
Thing 4: 2013 Rally dates.
Here’s what I want:
Pretty much all of this year’s Rallies have already sold out.
Rally! Rally is transformative and crazy and wonderful.
There are a few spaces left in June, July and September. And that’s it.
Next year we’re only going to do FOUR Rallies.
And then we’re done. No more Rallies. Or at least: no more Rallies that I’ll be [verb]-ing.
So I want the dates. I want to announce. I want these to fill up right away.
Ways this could work:
This could happen at the March Rally (Rally!) .
Or maybe I’ll have a mini-epiphany about it this week.
I’ll play with…
Readiness.
Thing 5: Swift, ease-filled resolutions to potential challenges.
Here’s what I want:
Lots of perfect simple solutions.
Ways this could work:
Everything just falls into place. Solutions show up.
People decide to not be in their stuff. Or they discover that now is not then, and they don’t have to be.
I’ll play with…
The alignment technique.
Thing 6: Rally prep!
Here’s what I want:
A new way to enter Rally.
Ways this could work:
Giving the Rallions even more material in advance so I can change the Orientation.
And yes, I know I change up the Orientation at practically every Rally, but this is going to be really different.
I’ll play with…
Coloring in some monsters. With the Monster Coloring Book & Manual, of course.
Thing 7: [Silent retreat!]
Here’s what I want:
I’m not ready to talk about this thing that I want, which is why I’m on silent retreat about it.
But I’m putting this here to remind me how important it is.
Ways this could work:
Shiva Nata and then more Shiva Nata.
I’ll play with…
Noticing what I need. And maybe coming up with a proxy.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted a birthday chrysalis, and I got one and it was INCREDIBLE.
Then I wanted to mark things that needed marking, and that happened too.
I asked for more cloth to arrive at the Playground, and lots of you sent fabric, so thank you for that!
Next I wanted courage with a tough situation, and I got it in spades.
Finally I wanted to answer a question without answering it. I worked on that during the chrysalis, and MAGIC. I mean, I still haven’t answered the question. But now it doesn’t bother me, because I know that it doesn’t need a response.
Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
Friday Chicken #188: Pallas in the Palace
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Chicken is late tonight — I had a madcap day of back-to-back meetings, all related to the gigantic new Playground and related businesses that we’re about to open.
In addition to running the current Playground, which is about to become the Playground Caboose.
Anyway, you can add THAT to the hard and to the good of this week.
I’m here now. Happy almost-over Friday, and oh sweet weekend, thank goodness you’re here.
The hard stuff
Migraine all last Friday.
Worse: it’s that familiar migraine. I know what this is about and I am not liking it.
Setting expectations is incredibly, incredibly hard.
This week I had a lot of sadness about that to process.
You know what else is really hard? Releasing expectations.
Yes, yes it is.
More unanswerable questions.
If people were even slightly aware of how much their questions reveal about themselves, and how little the questions are actually questions, well, the world would be a really different place.
I feel strongly about not answering questions that fall into this category, but I have yet to find a way of explaining that.
I’m waiting for the right loving, gracious response that lovingly, graciously explains why I am not responding. Haven’t found it yet, but I’m sure it’s on the way.
Worry.
Worrying about the entry space to the new playground and how to make it feel special and otherworldly.
Worrying about other things.
Forgetting.
Specifically: forgetting about some of the most important Absolutely Absolutelies.
Like how body time always has to come first. Yoga time always at end of day, no matter what. Because otherwise I can’t function in the way that I need to function in order to __________. I’m filling in the blank with about a hundred different things here!
These can’t get pushed aside for work stuff anymore. If I’m having a zombie day, body time can be super restorative. It can even be napping.
But no more like this. I am so very done with compromising the things that matter most. I’m done with internal pressure and done with external pressure. DONE.
Nothing can get in the way of this thing that I need. Ever again.
I forgot how important it is to stand for the things that take care of me, and it hurt.
Unexpected schedule changes that make more work for me.
See also: releasing expectations.
The good stuff
Chrysalis.
The Director told me to remove myself for my birthday.
And I did.
It was nothing less than incredible.
I have more trust in the chrysalis process because of the ridiculously transformative thing that happened last time, but this time the passage was a much bigger one.
Hamentaschen.
I baked. For Purim. With figs and currants.
I love baking hamentaschen.
Even though I can’t eat them.
Happiness.
First painting party at the new Playground.
We had eight people come to the new Playground to help out.
The mezzanine is now painted. The ceiling of the treatment room is installed. And progress progress progress!
There is still way more work to be done before we can open, but I am feeling hopeful. And if you’re in Portland this weekend and you want to join us, PLEASE let me know on our Frolicsome Bar facebook page.
Birthday.
For me and for the business.
Last year was the first time that I really got to take time for myself.
And this year that was even better.
Friends.
I am huge loner, but this year I experimented with going out to drinks with some girlfriends to celebrate the tenth anniversary of my divorce.
Pattern-shifting, again.
Wonderful massage with Wally.
My hips feel amazing.
Epiphanies and realizations…
So many! I can’t even stand it.
Between the Shiva Nata and the stone skippings and interviewing Athena about secret things, everything in my life is different now.
That’s really crazy. But it’s also really great.
Athena.
[Silent retreat!]
Being done.
I’m taking a sabbatical from a bunch of things that don’t feed me.
And this feels really liberating instead of painful, which is how I’d imagined it would be.
Thank you for all the presents, for me and the Playground!
Thank you, Audrey and Barbara and Casey for sending blue, purple and green cloth for the new Treatment Room.
Thanks, Yael for fun play-filled books.
Thanks, Claire for beautiful stickers, and Angela and others for the sweet cards.
Thanks, Foxy Jess, for sending presents and toys for the new Playground!
Thank you, Briana for the perfect reminder about magic.
Thank you, Richard, for the Power Tool.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band:
Where Is The Surprise?
And yes, it’s just one guy.
ANNOUNCEMENT.
We just had two people cancel for the March Rally (Rally!). There was one spot open, so now that’s three.
This is HIGHLY unusual. And an amazing opportunity for whoever jumps on it.
And here’s the thing.
Most of the 2012 Rallies are already sold out. We’re only doing four in 2013, and those are filling up too. And then no more Rallies.
Well, there may still be Rallies at the Playground. But not with me.
So. If you’re thinking Rally, this could be your magical opening. See: Rally!
March 19-22.
It is going to be life-changing and magical. Plus you’ll get to see the new Playground before it opens!
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
A candle and a birthday wish.
A year ago today, I accidentally came up with a just-right-for-me birthday practice.
I put it here, of course, and called it a letter from me-today to me-a-year-from-now.
And now I just reread it.
Thank you, letter. Thank you, last-year-me.
Man, I had absolutely no idea. I knew how big the vision was but I didn’t realize how big my plantings were. I didn’t realize how incredibly different today would feel.
Today. Today is a really big day for me.
As you know, my company turns SIX today.
The vision for it turns seven.
And I get to find out what it’s like to be thirty five. It’s kind of hot, actually.
Meanwhile, my most glowingly beautiful and long-awaited tiny sweet things, Stompopolis and the brand new Playground and the Floating Playground have all come into the world last week.
Everything is new. Everything is big. Everything is crazy-sparkly and impossibly full of possibility.
I remember reading an interview once with a scientist who said something about the feeling of having made an outrageously bold prediction and then it turns out to be right. It feels like that.
And the biggest thing is that I’m hardly falling apart at all. Weirdly enough.
Bridge. Me from a year ago. Me from a year from now.
Actually the biggest thing is that last-year-me set it all up. Without even knowing that this was what would or could happen.
So I want to hug her! And I want to pass the gift that I received to next-year-me. I want to prepare for the voyage by remembering that everything I do is for us.
Oh, next-year-me. Wow. She’ll be experiencing things I can’t imagine — a level or frequency of radiance, internal connection and happy humming that I don’t even know about yet.
Sometimes things will be hard. But she’ll meet the hard with more equanimity, with patience, curiosity and spaciousness.
And sometimes things will be ecstatically blissfully beautiful. And she’ll interact with that experience too.
That’s what I wish for her. Presence. Grace. Sweetness. Delight.
And I want to help.
Dear me in a year from now,
We’re here!
Thank you for your guidance and direction in getting here. And not just getting here but getting here like this.
What I wish for you.
Flow, sweetness, autonomy, community, agility, grace, possibility, courage, resilience, shelter, trust, beauty, voyaging, clarity. To feel like you belong completely — in your body, your power, your business, your home and your world. And, of course, to be secretly humming your happy hum at all times.
I know these are already available to you. But you feel them and you talk to them so easily.
What I do for you.
I still pause before each entry and each exit.
I give us loooong transitions.
I talk to the Director and Ath and my other incoming selves. I go into chrysalis mode when they tell me to.
I try to remove things that disconnect me from myself and from the hum.
I try to bring more of things that reconnect me to myself and to the hum.
Glow sitting. Old Turkish lady yoga. Writing. Stone skipping. Walking. Shiva Nata. Wanting what I want. Processing the process. Playing. Being alone. Finding out what is needed.
And, as Bryan says, respecting the decisions that my body has already made for me.
What I need from you.
I will repeat the thing I asked for last year, because it worked so beautifully:
Remind me that my gwishes are valid — that my wanting is legitimate and useful.
Show me how much you benefit from each piece that gets put into place now.
Comfort me when I am fearful.
The planting of the gwishes.
[This is where I listed all the things I want from the coming year.
These are silent gwishes – things that are in between goals and wishes. They have to do with being the queen of my internal world and everything that comes from that.]
What I am giving you.
Signs and reminders.
The double flags flanking the new door: Cascadia and the Jolly Selma.
A new fairy door.
Candles and candles and candles.
The book of OODs.
An itinerary for pirate queen holidays.
A brand new office, with the best view.
Flowers.
And going Long, Slow & Deep into the night.
This is your year.
I cannot wait to meet you.
Play with me! The commenting blanket fort.
If you like, write a letter to you-in-a-year.
It can be as short or as long as you’d like. You can share it here or not. You can borrow the structure that came to me or invent your own.
Otherwise, I am currently receiving warm smiles and waving of kerchiefs as this ship embarks.
As always: this is a wonderfully safe place. We let everyone have their stuff and their own experience. We make space for people by being welcoming, and not giving unsolicited advice.
Love to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads. And a wave to all the other fishies.