What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Scholarship! Ship!
Scholarship-ship sailings are embarking between now and this Sunday, January 1st.
The scholarship is for a Rally (Rally!) in 2012.
Except for January and April which have already sold out.
Everything you need to know about the HMS Scholarship is on this page.
Enter as you wish to be in it.
xox
Advice-Giving mode vs Helper-Mouse mode
Advice-Giving mode:
“Have you tried…? Why don’t you just…?”
Implied: “Have you considered that my way might be better?”
Helper-Mouse mode:
“What do you need? How can I help you get what you want? Can you give me more information about how you’d like to feel?”
Implied: “How can I help us get even more clear about what’s important to you?”
Right now I am filling a safe room with the essence of SHELTER. For every part of me who does not wish to be told what to do.
And I am filling another room with PEACE. Dropping all unrequested advice-givings into this room so they can dissolve and transform. This room knows about the core intention of helpfulness. Helping without any hidden expectations or attachment.
I am setting expectations and releasing expectations at the same time. The hardest and the most important practice.
We all have our stuff.
We all have our stuff and we’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process. There is nothing wrong with us for having stuff. We get to interact with it in ways that feel safe and comfortable, at our own pace and in our own way.
Hint! If you think this post is about you, that’s your stuff! If you feel anxious reading this, that’s your stuff! If you aren’t sure what it means, that’s your stuff! It’s always our stuff. And we always get to learn more about how our stuff works. That’s what we do here. With love.
Very Personal Ads #128: two of everything!
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Yesterday I did five minutes of Shiva Nata with my primary partner in crime.
There was lots of giggling. And then Shiva Nata told us that SILLINESS IS POWER.
Which is fabulous. And also kind of scaring me because whoah, siliness!
I adore silliness. So I’m making a gwish right here for all of my wants for the coming week to be planted in a field of silliness and power. A silly field! So there!
Alright. Let’s do this.
Thing 1: setting up a rendezvous.
Here’s what I want:
I have an appointment that needs to be made. I don’t like appointments.
That’s why it’s a rendezvous. Sneaky! Romantic! Secret!
But my severe phone call dislike issues are coming up, and I haven’t been able to do it.
Ways this could work:
Oh man, this is going to require lots of secret agent code words!
And some now is not then.
Maybe I can do it online? Let’s find out.
Things I might play with…
Entry and exit.
Connecting to the superpowers.
Asking for help from a friend.
Thing 2: drink lots of tea!
Here’s what I want:
To drink ridiculous amounts of tea.
This might be a proxy and it might not.
My friend who is visiting brought about a thousand boxes of delicious teas (I am exaggerating but only very slightly), and this seems wintry and cozy and important.
Drinking tea all day reminds me of visiting my friend Jutta in Aachen around this time of year, before I ever lived in Germany. Eleven years ago! Oh, time. You are so funny!
I want the ritual of the making. I want the interruption of stopping. Paws! I want the taste and the reminders.
Some of the qualities of this wish:
Reassurance. Warmth. Entry. Exit. Presence. Spaciousness. Comfort. Repetition. Flow. Release. Feeling held and revitalised at the same time.
Ways this could work:
My partner-in-crime could continue to keep saying, Hey, would you like some tea?
(Something she already does every half hour or so…. yay!)
I can borrow a sweet teapot from Hoppy House and take it to the Playground while we do our trainings and reflectings.
Things I might play with…
Giving this practice a name or a metaphor.
Trusting that there is a reason for why tea is important right now, and just going with it instead of trying to figure out what it means.
Making a point of saying hello to my cheery red Playground mug.
Thing 3: two of everything!
Here’s what I want:
Some things need doubles.
Some of these things are tangible things and some of these are systems.
Ways this could work:
I could make a list.
Or bring it to Drunk Pirate Council.
Or maybe there is a fun and playful perfect simple solution.
Things I might play with…
My guess is there is some residual stuck stuff behind the scenes that has to do with being okay with enough. And resistance to a state of PLENTY.
So I might need to call on a negotiator. Or sit with some sad, scared parts of me.
Is there a way to bring in the power of silly to help?
I don’t know. But I commit to being willing to find out.
Thing 4: release/process fear of a thing.
Here’s what I want:
There’s something that needs to happen in my business. I want it and it scares me.
It’s time to (safely, carefully) find out about the resistance, and work through some more layers.
Ways this could work:
Through play.
Through stone skipping.
Through shivanautical epiphanies!
Things I might play with…
I’m going to try to follow my instincts as much as possible.
And to involve my body. Nap on it, dance on it, flail on it, cry on it, bathtime on it.
Thing 5: to trust what I know…
Here’s what I want:
To trust what I know.
As much as I am able to right now.
Ways this could work:
Asking curious and compassionate questions.
Noticing what I want, and giving myself permission to want what I want.
Regardless of whether or not I do anything about the wanting.
Things I might play with…
Small wantings.
Doing more old Turkish lady yoga to get quiet enough to be aware of what I am instinctively drawn to.
Talking to slightly future me about why trusting what I know is useful.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted an ease-filled decision so I could create that proposal-thing. But then it got decided for me. Easily! So I didn’t have to. HOORAY.
Then I wanted an ease-filled transition, and that went better than I’d expected it to. A few thrown shoes, but they didn’t land.
I was feeling really apprehensive about getting the guest quarters ready for my friend, but it was actually not a problem at all.
Also I wanted to finish the mirror pool page so I could announce the Floating Playground. But what happened instead was a ton of internal processing. And then I wrote a very important letter to future me. And had about seventeen hugely important epiphanies about it.
So I will re-ask the ask for this week, but I’m feeling good about this instead of horrible about it, which is essentially what that ask was about anyway.
And finally, I wanted to tell you guys about Heidi’s amazing potions, and I did.
Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
p.s. Calendars! Here’s what someone just said: “I’m totally in love with this calendar! So much I don’t want to hang it on the wall. I want to keep it right close to me on my desk so I can thumb through it whenever I need comfort and inspiration.”
You can still get one.
And you guys know prices for Rally (Rally!) have to go up significantly in a few days, right? I have been talking about this nonstop for about six months, so probably, but here is your reminder. Rally is the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you. Rally! (Rally!)
Friday Chicken #177: accidental Eastwood
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Seriously. Friday?!
This week is messing with me, right?
There’s no way it’s even close to Friday. Ah, well. Here we are. So let’s chicken.
The hard stuff
Not in the mood.
This was not a week for getting things done.
It was a week for process and percolate. Lots of useful untangling.
Lots of progress, even. But not the visible kind.
And people waiting on things. Sigh-sigh.
Late to bed.
Once.
Which then became several times.
And that’s always when stuff starts to fall apart.
Overloaded.
A holiday party and then brunch with friends.
I know for most people that’s completely doable. But for me it’s too much.
Frozen on a decision.
This actually turned out to work to my advantage.
But I worried about it.
A misunderstanding.
More sighing.
Misunderstandings are painful!
Things are changing.
And this is scary and hard.
Even when it’s what you wanted.
The good stuff
Clint Eastwood!
Remember when I used the magic of Clint Eastwood’s negotiating skills to get my monsters to backtrack on everything they believe in?
That was awesome.
So this week I accidentally used some Clint Eastwood negotiating with a contract.
Mainly because I was too stressed out about the proposal to write the proposal.
The silence was too much for them and they offered a counter-proposal without even getting the original proposal, and THIS proposal is awesome.
Thank you, Clint Eastwood.
The thing I was going to do anyway because I had no choice is now significantly more affordable.
This comes as a gigantic relief.
Letting other people practice what they know is rewarding.
Hard, but rewarding.
I have been remembering that not everything requires a response, and this is good.
Hannukah!
Candles. Singing. Levivot.
And then solstice too.
Beautiful. I feel happy.
My partner-in-crime is here!
Knowing that she was arriving did not stop me from spending two hours with her on the phone the night before.
Yay! Here! Now!
Ideas and epiphanies.
Like crazy.
Big stuff. Big, scary stuff. But I am glad to be learning it now.
Progress on the Almanac.
There are no more quarters. And yet… every season has quarters.
Feeling much better about this.
The last Board of Surprisers call of the year.
That was sad.
But happy, because they’re going to be my Enthusiastic next year.
Lots of sitting at the Playground and biggifying.
I am planning the most astonishing things. Like a crazed genius with crayons!
Thanks, Clint Eastwood and Shiva Nata.
Variations on Surya Namaskara.
I have watched this video three times. Variations on a sun salutation, from a dance perspective.
It reminds me of things that my body knows, and about how the Bruce Wayne thing of committing to the body is important.
Not just letting the body make executive decisions but being with it all the time. So beautiful.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is brought to you by our friend Dana.
Turtle Disorder
They’re a speed metal polka tribute band who do covers of songs you’ve never heard of.
Though, weirdly, it’s actually just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
- Reminder: Rally prices are going up a week from today. Rallies fill up quickly. January is sold out. There are a couple February and March spots. So come Rally. Rally! It will change everything.
- The Playground calendar is the most magical thing. It will make you happy-cry. The First Mate ordered a second batch. While supplies last.
- We’ll open admissions for the Floating Playground next week. So start working with the Art of Embarking, because you’ll need that .
I think that’s everything. If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
And let me translate that, for Brits and Canadians and people who have been well-trained to apologize for things: What if, instead of apologizing for having missed a week or a hundred weeks, you lovingly and intentionally notice the desire to apologize? Say hi to the pattern. And then maybe you choose to silent-retreat that part. Or maybe you secretly get to do the hedging on your own to feel the thing that the apology gives you, and then you could delete the hedge before you post.
Because otherwise there’s this disconnect. It ends up being me talking about a culture of amnesty, but then we don’t give it to ourselves. Does that make sense? I hope so.
*blows kiss to the hedge-lovers as a fellow fan of hedging*
The best calendar that has ever existed.
The Playground calendar is here.
I actually cried when I saw the first one.
Tears of happy-delight and oh-the-cuteness, but also because it is the most beautiful, simple, glowing, play-filled physical thing that I have created.
A tiny sweet thing! Look at its toes!
Other than the actual Playground, of course. But the Playground is so much a part of this calendar that they both exhale the same sweet magical air.
Their internal culture is the same.
I had this idea that I’d be able to describe it.
But I can’t.
Every time I want to try, I get lost in looking at it again.
And then a good ten minutes disappear while I am entranced with each month, and giggle over its sweetness.
Words really do not do this calendar justice. How many times can I say MAGICAL and know that I’m not even beginning to transmit the meaning? Pictures don’t either.
Not even slightly. This calendar is insanely gorgeous, instantly uplifting, and so full of play and possibility that you want to go skipping through fields humming your favorite song.
And planning marvelous plans!
Also: is there anything more fabulous than a pensive hobby horse wearing a magenta wig?
In fact, it shouldn’t even share the same name with other calendars.
Hey, metaphor mouse! What do you call a calendar that’s so out of the league of other calendars that it’s become something else entirely?
It’s like a portal.
Ah, words. I wish I could put this portal in your hands right this second so that you could experience it.
All I can do is tell you stories…
My wonderful friend and colleague Cairene came to the Playground last week and saw one. Cairene is wise, thoughtful, and unbelievably creative about time. She thinks about time more than anyone I know.
Anyway, she fell madly in love with the calendar and couldn’t put it down. She said, “THIS is the calendar I have always wanted and didn’t even know it!”
Then another friend’s husband came by, and he couldn’t put it down or stop exclaiming over it either.
My realtor saw it and instantly wanted one for herself.
We sent them out last week to everyone who pre-ordered, and have been flooded in joyful and enthusiastic appreciation letters.
Thirty six!
The First Mate, who is very good at things like this, saw how sad I was that more people wouldn’t get the calendar. And he ordered another batch. A bigger one.
Most of which have already disappeared because people visiting the Playground have grabbed them.
But there are thirty six still available.
Each month has a space to name that month, plus a Hello and a Goodbye.
And Toozdays are spelled just like that. Fridays get a chicken reminder.
The calendar was originally part of the Gwish Kit so the price includes tuition to a class I’m teaching on how to do creative and magical things within time restrictions, and many of the brilliant things I have learned about this from Rally (Rally!).
I am putting on the hat!
Yes, that hat.
If you want a Playground calendar-portal that will make you cry happy-tears of possibility and get you dreaming of secret plans, you can still do this.
And you get to come to my (online) workshop about time and sneaky ways to get things done, of course.
Here’s the very quiet Gwish Kit page:
I don’t know how long this will stick around but if there are any left by Sunday (???), I’ll try to mention it in the Very Personal Ads.
Play with me! And the commenting blanket fort….
You can be my Enthusiastic about this beautiful, tiny sweet thing being REAL! And being even more beautiful than I could have imagined.
You can help invent magical words that are more fun than “calendar”.
You can plant hopeful gwishes for the new year.
And if you’ve already received yours in the mail (clever person who pre-ordered!), please tell us about how much you are in love with it…. 🙂
I am going back to looking at my new calendar and dreaming up dreams with it. It is my newest companion-in-play, my silliest partner-in-crime. And I need to go put on a wig and dance around the room.
If you want one of these, you can get one here. Or in the Playground Toy Shop. While supplies last.