Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

My brain is all turned around from being a zombie (slightly noisy link!) and teaching and all of it.

So these might be very incoherent personal ads. But we’re doing it!

As always, you can VPA all week, if you like.

Thing 1: Where else am I taking the long way when the long way is unnecessary?

Here’s what I want:

This past week at Crossing the Line (password: haulaway) I have discovered countless things that I am completely tripping over.

And each time it’s a case of doing something in a hard, complicated way when the easy and fun way is right in front of me.

We’ve been doing lots of Shiva Nata, and all of the epiphanies are yelling HEY LOOK THERE’S A SIMPLER WAY OVER HERE!!!

So. If I’m making things unnecessarily convoluted in this one area of my life (teaching), where am I doing it in the rest of my life? That’s what I’d like to find out.

Ways this could work:

Journaling. Stone skipping. More shivanauttery.

Throw it into the pot. Talk it over with clever and compassionate friends. Take it to the treasure map. What would one of the beacons do?

My commitment.

To not take myself too seriously.

To be receptive to many possible things-that-are-true.

To use the crayons.

Thing 2: Documentation. (Meta!)

Here’s what I want:

While I teach, I also take notes on the teaching.

Basic stuff like conscious entry and the dancing Revue.

But also noticings, ways I can adapt the various Capers that we play with, ideas for future Capers, ways that I have changed the sequencing or the material to fit the specific needs of a specific group.

So I end up with the meta-tour of the program. And then all those notes tend to just go live in a messy pile of iguanas and doom until I decide what to do with it.

I want a more formal way of documenting this stuff so that I can easily access it.

If I want to. I don’t have to. But it’s there for me if I decide I want to revisit it.

Ways this could work:

An Anthology! Or a section in an anthology.

(Anthology is my metaphor-mouse-word for “binder” because binders remind me of school and then I don’t want to use them.)

I already have my Anthology of Crossing the Line (The Ship!) and its companion, the Anthology of Crossing the Line (The Sea!).

The first is the structures and forms that hold the teaching — timetables, plans, components of each day, entry and exit for each component.

The second is all the deliciously sneaky content (mmmmm, content!) that I might plug into the various components. Capers! Adventures! Concepts!

So maybe there’s a place for a section for 2011 Notes.

Or maybe a 2011 anthology that is just for documentation and assessment? I don’t know yet.

My commitment.

To experiment and play.

To connect to the qualities of safety, exploration, permission, discovery, form, preparation and flow.

To use the crayons some more.

Thing 3: Best recovery time ever? Let us investigate what this means!

Here’s what I want:

To give myself real recovery time from teaching this incredibly intense madcap eight days of adventuring.

And to really truly enjoy the recovering so that I’m not just collapsed in a heap.

What I don’t know is the how/where/what…

Ways this could work:

I could ask Slightly Future Me what she would do.

If for some reason I was retiring and leaving my business to the most wonderful and amazing person in the world, and I had unlimited resources to design the Ideal Recovery Situation for this person… what would the elements be?

I’m noticing a trouble spot! It’s the word VACATION. Recovery time is not a freaking vacation. It’s recovery. I need to distinguish between those and find out what that means.

Will do some more research on this. But maybe run away to my uncle Svevo in the woods?

My commitment.

To find out what I need to find out.

To be patient. It’s a process.

Thing 4: A partner in crime!

Here’s what I want:

Someone who is both a friend and an adviser to giggle and strategize with me about my big, crazy plans and dreams.

Not to coach and not to consult and not to advise.

Just to drink tea with and draw with colored pencils and go OHMYGOD THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT!

To playfully plan, to sit with me while I talk to metaphor mouse, to rejoice over small things.

Ways this could work:

I have the best idea for who this could be! And I am whispering it to the trees.

My commitment.

To find out what happens in my life when this is part of it.

And what the symbolic elements are.

Thing 5: The rest of the Rallygators for January.

Here’s what I want:

The January Rally (Rally!) is going to be the most fun, hilarious, brilliant, amazing thing ever.

That’s because I have lots of new plans and the Playground has lots of new toys.

There’s room for six more people and I would like those six people to raise their hands.

Ways this could work:

The Crossing mice each get two bonus Rallies. Maybe some of them will decide they can’t bear to be away from the Playground any longer and will say JANUARY.

The people who are considering it will just know if it’s the right timing or not.

And it could just happen.

My commitment.

To figure out what my next steps are. To talk to Carolyn about this. To find out what I’m wrong about.

Thing 6: Next steps on the Enthusiastic

Here’s what I want:

The Convening of the Enthusiastic is happening in December and I haven’t sent out the invitations!

Not even sure when I’ll be able to do this…

Ways this could work:

Talk to Briana and Cairene.

Have a snack-sized Drunk Pirate Council (Drunkette! Councilette!).

Get the initial design for the invitations. Or meditate on the copy?

My commitment.

To be enthused because the Enthusiastic is the opposite of the Bored/Board.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted eighteen people for the Shiva Nata workshop in Boulder. And we have them! Though then the studio told me we can fit some more people in, so you might still be able to sign up for that in the next day or two.

Then I asked about advance planning, and I’m actually feeling pretty good about that. We have three people for next year’s Crossing the Line in October, and some scholarship applications. I will do some more with this. It feels new and weird and good so far.

I also wanted blog posts and that was kind of iffy. That is, posts happened, but I am feeling conflicted about HOW they are happening. So I need to investigate that. But yay for the posts that were here.

Next I wanted KT-ers for the Kitchen Table Rally in April, and that’s all taken care of.

And I wanted to nail Thriller and learn the Shim Sham! So yes. I can now do Thriller at full speed and without cues, without watching anyone. Even taught it to several of the Crossing the Line mice. Plus I found a Shim Sham class and signed myself up. Developments! They are happening. Thank you, VPAs.

Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

• Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
• You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
• Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
• Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
• VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!

xox