What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
The Day of Chickening is upon us.
Alright. I have all sorts of things to get done today, and I imagine you do too.
So I’m officially declaring today to be a Day of Chickening!
How it works:
You state the thing you want to do.
That’s basically it.
Or, if you like, you can also set it up (entry!).
For example, you can think about how you want to approach it or play with it.
And what will help.
And what you’re going to try if the initial approach doesn’t work.
Here’s mine.
Okay, background!
The monsters from the Grumblethrum Collective (their slogan: No time! No time!) are saying there are seventeen billion things that need to be done today.
We know from experience that this is not true, but it feels true.
So. My initial plan, to be revised later if necessary.
I’m going to try focusing on a few items (and using the fractal flowers so that working on one thing is secretly working on all the other things).
Maybe this will demonstrate to the Collective that yes, actually this does make a difference.
They’ve already — thanks to rigorous scientific testing I’ve persuaded them to let me run — accepted the premise that doing SOMETHING is more effective than them yelling and me getting stuck.
The approach for today:
Doing things in sets of three.
With a variation on what Maryann (of Secret Playdate fame) calls the layer cake technique.
(Layer cake is when you alternate X minutes of the thing you’re working on with X minutes of something creative, fun or different.)
Lately I’ve been doing my layering in intentionally-non-numbered sets of three.
- First I work on the part of the project that intrigues me.
- Next a creative or restful Intentional Switch of some kind.
- And then following it up with something that is not fun and needs to be made more fun.
I also like break things up between sets.
Usually with ten minutes of walking around and breathing. Or interacting with my work space in some way (like some old Turkish lady stretches or giving myself puttering-permission). Puttering Time!
What will help?
Oh! I can use secret agent code phrases for the things I’m working on, and rename them.
If it doesn’t work?
What am I going to do if I’m not experiencing this in the way I want?
I’ll do some stone skipping and ask useful questions.
Specifically:
- What are the qualities that will help me with this?
- What about my environment is supporting me in this? What in my environment needs to change?
- What is the essence/purpose/mission of the thing I’m trying to do?
- How can I make this more like Rally (Rally!). How can this get more ease-filled, creative and fun?
And I will isolate iguanas/monsterlets/sad-selves as necessary, and help them find safe spaces.
Let’s do it!
What I want:
How much progress can I make today on updating the Crossing the Line page?
Here’s my first set:
#) Love notes (secret code!)
?) Tea
!!) Ask B + R about X
I will check-in during the day and see how this goes. Adjustments will be made as necessary.
You can play too. Comment zen for the chickening…
Just state (silently or here in the comments) what you want to work on or play with. That’s enough! You can proxy if you like.
Check back in as you feel like it.
If it gets challenging (or even if it doesn’t), we interact consciously. We experiment. We notice things.
We can respond to each other with warm, loving hand-on-heart sighs. Or cheering. Or whatever you want. Ask for what you want.
We all have our stuff. We take responsibility for our stuff and we let other people have their stuff. We don’t give each other advice — unless someone specifically asks for it.
Let the Day of Chickening begin!
p.s. This is something we do at my Kitchen Table program — with a dedicated board (the Deguiltified Chicken Board) just for this. I post chickens there almost every day. It’s how I get so much done. Developing a chickening habit: recommended! If you plan to be at Crossing the Line, we’ll learn how to do this.
Object of Desire: Denver. You can help!
My giant Gwish (goal/wish) right now is to go to Denver for roller derby Championships in November and teach there.
I’m going to need your help, but first I have to figure out what I want so that I can ask for it.
And to do that, I’m using the OOD (Object of Desire) technique. Let’s do this.
State the OOD.
I want to have a marvelous time in Denver at Championships, stay in a lovely and supportive place, and teach the most badass awesome Shiva Nata class that ever was.
And for everything to get set up in the smoothest and easiest way possible, with lots of support.
Is that what I really want?
Yeah! And I notice that I used the word support twice. So that seems like it’s a really important component.
This whole experience is going to be very challenging (travel! not a lot of time! giant crowds! high pressure!) for a Highly Sensitive Person like myself.
So if it’s going to happen, it’s imperative that it happens in such a way that I feel comfortable, grounded and taken care of every step of the way.
Qualities?
Play. Comfort. Support. Radiance. Light-heartedness. Ease. Experimentation. Inspiration. Creativity. Belonging. Welcoming. Harmoniousness. Flow. Excitement. Anticipation. Happiness. Sanctuary. Grounding. Sovereignty. Trust. Silliness.
Why I want this.
This is our year!!!!
There is no way I’m missing Championships the first year that Rose City has made it all the way. We’re going to sweep this thing. Or, at the very least, we’ll duke it out for third place.
I need to be a part of this. And Shiva Nata needs to be a part of this.
If the only thing that a roller-derby-shivanauttery class delivers is ONE hit that sticks or ONE block at the right time or ONE juke or jump that gets our jammer ahead, that’s the difference between win or lose.
And really, only one thing?! Preposterous. The results are drastic and dramatic when you can see them in a physical practice.
This is the next step. We’re planting seeds for the day when no athlete anywhere does anything without doing Shiva Nata first. And I’ll know exactly when it started.
THIS NOVEMBER in Denver!
Needed! A hotel in Denver or Boulder, preferably Denver.
It needs to be relatively quiet. Or at least my room does.
Here are the Absolutely Absolutelies, aka the dealbreaker bits:
- It absolutely absolutely has to have complimentary wifi. Emphasis on the wireless part.
- I am not okay with having to pay for parking. The hotel needs to provide parking at no charge. It’s annoying enough that I have to rent a car…
Living in cities (Portland, Berlin, Tel Aviv) where you can take public transportation everywhere has made me extremely antsy and impatient. What is this crap where I can’t just take a bus to get where I need to go?!?!
Budget? I’m not sure. I would like to not go higher than $165 a night.
Bonus: if I can get a good massage in the hotel or nearby.
Needed! A teaching space for the madcap shivanauttery.
We need a space that can hold 50-60 people.
And each person will need about 5×6 feet of space.
Plus room for me and the stage.
The Absolutely Absolutelies:
- It absolutely absolutely has to have a stage for me so that people can actually see me. The stage needs to be at least 2 feet high.
- I do not want to rent a stage/riser. We’ve done this before and it’s a gigantic pain.
- It needs to be quiet enough so I can speak and people can hear me. There cannot be an African Drumming class or a disastrous trumpet lesson happening next door. Yes, both of those things have actually happened.
- I need to be able to play music. I can bring my own system if necessary but would rather not have to.
- The space needs to be relatively visually quiet. So: not covered in giant chaotic murals or anything like that. .
Helpful but not dealbreakers: it’s pretty much always useful to have a flip chart.
Tizmun (messing about with timing)
Tizmuni is a Hebrew word which has elements of timing, arranging, schedule, itineraries and so on, but doesn’t actually terrify me.
Okay! Obviously we can’t teach over the weekend because that’s when the bouts are. Especially since we won’t know what the brackets will be until after the South Central & North Central regions have their playoffs.
It makes no sense to do it Sunday evening or Monday because a) that kind of defeats the point, and b) I will have completely lost my voice due to three straight days of yelling.
It really has to happen Thursday evening. It could maybe-maybe happen Friday morning, but that is distinctly less good.
I might need to talk to H and find out when people are flying in and arriving.
But say Thursday from 5-6:30 pm. Or 5:30-7. We really can’t do it later than that.
So if we open this to people who aren’t skaters, they’ll have to get off work early.
Fly out Wednesday, teach Thursday, derby over the weekend and done?
Disadvantages/what-ifs/monster-objections
Renting a space without knowing that you can fill it = stupid.
But renting a space that can only accommodate 20 when we already know there’s a much bigger interest is also stupid.
There’s not a lot of time to set this up.
What will help
Starting small.
Finding ways to make this less stressful. Specifically asking: What would make this easier?
Using the fractal flowers so that doing this solves other problems, and working on other parts of my business help with this too.
Slightly future me says…
Slightly future me: You don’t need my help. You know how to do this.
Me: WHAT?!
Her: Make sure the wisest version of current you is at the front of the V. Find out what she thinks. You really don’t need me for this.
Me: So you’re telling me to consult with Slightly Wiser Me From Now instead of asking you?
Her: Yup! That’s because you’re ready for this. You’ve jumped a level, or whatever you want to call it.
Slightly wiser me says…
“Listen, sweetie. You know all kinds of amazing people in Colorado. They’ll all want to see you and have tea/dinner/etc, and you’ll really want to see them too.
“Please remember that you are here on a mission.
“And this mission requires you to be at full strength/capacity. Your force field needs to be extra strong: the most shining radiant force field you know how to configure.
“You won’t be able to do that if you’re putting your energy to staying grounded and centered for these meet-ups and teaching and derby. You will stretch yourself too thin, and get depleted and sick, which messes up the Great Ducking Out.
“You need to preserve your time, space and energy to give yourself the most supportive environment for this experience. You owe this to yourself, your friends, your students and the entire experience. And you owe it to the Wheels of Justice. So commit to this.”
Allies, resources and helper mice! Who can help me with this?
I can ask my blog readers and the Kitchen Table program if they have ideas (or know people who have ideas) about a possible right hotel and/or teaching space.
My Guns N Rollers, of course. My friend Tootie who’s a ref in Denver. Juno, who skates for Rocky Mountain and is awesome and was at Rally (Rally!) with me.
And of course I can use destuckification, stone skippings, and talking to slightly wiser me some more. Checking in to make sure I’m asking the right questions.
I don’t have to do this alone. Support is the key to all of this.
Receiving support, figuring out how to be okay with support, making conscious, loving decisions that support (hee!) a supportive environment. That’s what’s next.
Comment zen in the comment blanket fort for today…
Help and more suggestions for accommodations and teaching spaces appreciated!
You can also bring your own Object of Desire and play with it here, using this format or any other format.
I would also love cheering for this big adventure. Thank you!
Love, as always, to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
Very Personal Ads #116: Denver, here I come!
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Usually these come out on Sunday, but Sunday I was screaming my head off at Besterns.
So we’re doing them now.
Thing 1: Roller Derby! Championships! Denver!
Here’s what I want:
Yesterday was the last day of the Bridgetown Brawl Western Regional tournament.
Rose City’s Wheels of Justice had one last chance to grab third place and make it to Championships in November, and they ran with it to crush Rat City.
Seattle! Thanks for taking out the Denver Roller Dolls so we could face off with you instead.
It was a wild and incredibly exciting weekend of derby, filled with dramatic lead changes, bizarre upsets and everyone I know losing their voice.
And we’re going to Championships!!!! Finally! Yes, the Continental Divide & Conquer.
Which means: setting up a Shiva Nata workshop in either Boulder or Denver. I can’t decide if I’ll do one for the public and one for derby, or just combine them somehow.
Ways this could work:
Local people who can help us out?
I know we’ve definitely had a ton of Rallions who come to Rally from Colorado….
Among the things I’ll need: a space to rent that can hold fifty-sixty people, hotel recommendations, spreading the word…
And a way to fit all my FABULOUS BOUTFITS into one piece of luggage.
My commitment.
To be present. To be proud. To be purple and sparkly. To ask for help. To commit.
Thing 2: creative childcare solutions/brainstorming help…
Here’s what I want:
There are lots and lots of people who would come to Rally and to Shiva Nata classes at the Playground, except they can’t because of the childcare thing.
We do not have room to offer anything like that in the Playground itself. Well, we have physical space for it, but our rooms all have low walls and share the same impossibly high ceiling, so it would be noisy. Which would not work.
And anyway the having to child-proof the Treasure Room would be quite challenging.
Possible theoretical solutions are needed that do not require the use of the Playground space itself.
Ways this could work:
One of the other tenants in the building leaves or sublets a chunk of space to us, and we make it into a kid’s Playground.
Somehow the local Rallion/Shivanaut community comes up with a solution where different people take turns doing kid-watching? In someone’s home? In the building?
I don’t know. This might need to wait until we have a different space.
I am putting it here in the hopes that SPEAKING IT will begin to stir some things.
My commitment.
To play and laugh, and then play and laugh some more. To be five years old.
Thing 3: energy and enthusiasm for coming back into body routines
Here’s what I want:
I haven’t been to a dance class in eight days.
It’s time to return.
Slowly, compassionately, carefully and with loving determination.
Ways this could work:
Use the art of the OOD.
And set up guidelines that can help me ease back in without falling apart.
My commitment.
To find out what I need. Safety first. Exploration without attachment to results.
Thing 4: sweet, loving acceptance for my body
Here’s what I want:
Related to the above.
Finding the unconditional again.
Yes, it sucks that we got sick and that all the routines were shot to hell and that we’re not in phenomenal shape anymore.
And I’m allowed to not like that, and to feel all the legitimate things that I’m feeling.
AND:
This is my home. My body is my home.
So, tfu tfu tfu — may it never happen, if a storm were to come through and damage a part of the porch, it doesn’t make sense to hate and resent my home for not being what it was before.
Or to constantly compare it to THEN.
It’s where I live. So my job is to take care of it in the best way that I can, and to help it be strong and stable.
This is what I’m trying to remember.
Ways this could work:
I can incorporate this into my Hello, Day ritual.
And I can do symbolic things with my own real-life home (Hoppy House) to remind me of how I want to treat my internal home.
Maybe some kind of ritual pre-dance class. Or maybe treat the body things I’m doing as taking a home-repairs course?
My commitment.
To experiment. To ask creative, loving questions. To release expectations. To feel what it’s like to decide to be at home.
Thing 5: opening registration for the Great Ducking Out 2012!
Here’s what I want:
The Great Ducking Out Thanksgiving Rally in November is completely sold out.
If you wanted to come and didn’t sign up in time, ask the First Mate to put you on a waiting list. I can’t make any promises, but you never know.
And now I’d like to open registration for 2012 (the Great Ducking Out III) by next week.
Ways this could work:
Use the Chicken Board at my Kitchen Table program.
Ask for help.
My commitment.
To do some systems work and figure out what changes I want to make. To order the pies!
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted a delightfully kooky throne-like chair and have not found one yet. But I’ve got some good leads.
Then I wanted SLEEP, and there was much napping. Hooray! Though, really, I could also use some more. Re-asking this one.
There was an ask about replacing the video on the Shiva Nata site, which desperately needs to happen. Several people offered their services, and I’m going to need to look into that this week as soon as I recover from derby.
And I wanted to un-whisper, and I am getting closer!
Then there was an ask for a toaster for the Playground, and I am still asking for recommendations/connections. Though Cairene gave us a thing to use once we have the toaster, and it’s awesome. Yay, VPAs!
Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
Friday Chicken #165: gnoblin shoes!
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
This was another one of those weeks where things went unbelievably quickly and unbearably slowly at the same time.
And a lot of the hard and good were kind of the same thing, as it so often happens.
Happy Friday, my dear Chickeneers of the High Seas (also to all the other lovely people who have stumbled onto this thing today). Let’s do this!
The hard stuff
Post-Rally tired and post-Rally catch-up.
And staying up way too late doing wonderful things and then being super sleepy.
Happiness hangover.
Also not sleeping well because of being off schedule.
Trying to get back into routine and have it not happen.
Hard.
Came down with a cold.
Spent the week being drippy and grumpy and feeling horribly unattractive.
With chapped lips and a red nose and the worst headache ever.
So not fun!
And then everything else that happened was getting cycled through the filter of feeling crappy, so that was also not good.
A misunderstanding with myself.
Got caught up in some monster-worry-what-if-scenarios, and it took a while to disengage and untangle.
It was all fantastic once it got sorted but while I was in it…messy and uncomfortable.
Too much to do. Implementation is hard. Etc etc etc.
I don’t really have anything to add to that.
Ohmygod Besterns are this weekend.
This is, of course, a good thing.
Bridgetown Brawl! Western regionals!
Did you know? SIX of the top seven roller derby teams in North America are in our division.
So some of the best derby in the world will be happening this weekend. And it’s happening in Portland! I don’t have to travel!
I’m still putting it in the hard in addition to the good because this is going to be an incredibly busy, loaded, high-stress, anxiety-filled weekend. Which is pretty much the last thing I need right now.
But derby trumps pretty much everything, so I’m going to make it work.
If Rose City makes it to nationals, you will hear me screaming my head off. And I will do the thing I swore off doing and fly on a plane. Besterns!
The good stuff
Besterns! The good part
A weekend of INCREDIBLE derby action.
With some of my shivanauts from the team I sponsor will be out there skating for Rose City’s Wheels of Justice.
And friends-on-skates (Tootie and Juno) visiting from Denver.
And the opportunity for some serious payback when we take down BAD this year. May it be so.
And ohmylord an actual shot at spot #3.
This is going to be unbelievably exciting and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
If you’re at one of the bouts, let me know on Twitter or at the Frolicsome Bar. I will be wearing ridiculous outfits that are purple and sparkly and involve props.
The photo shoot happened before I became a snot-covered red-nosed, smudge-covered, depressive anti-social crankypants in hiding.
Yay for photos!
Yay for looking significantly more good looking while the photo-taking was happening.
If it had been this week we might have had to burn them all.
Or I guess delete them. Ah, the digital age. So much less dramatic.
Anyway, I finally got around to putting new pics up here. Thank you, Kylie!
The best day ever, every minute of it!
First I read this tweet from @mightytoycannon about how the Oregon Children’s Theater was having a giant costume sale. With whiskey.
As you might already know, costumes and whiskey are pretty much my two favorite things in the entire world.
If you were going to design an event with me in mind, one where you drink whiskey and try on costumes AT THE SAME TIME would be perfect.
Really the only way it could be better would be if it combined roller derby and Shiva Nata in some way.
So I went. And — hey, speaking of Shiva Nata, three wonderful shivanauts from the last Rally (Rally!) who were still in town came with me.
Also I ran into Skeeve Holt. So there was a derby connection too. See?!
We bought costumes. We wore them on the bus and the bus driver said YAY. We went and were Captured By Porches and drank beer and ate mac+cheese.
And cackled maniacally as we plotted more spectacular future adventures for the Playground and for us.
So. COSTUMES!
We already have a fairly well-stocked Costumery in the Treasure Room at the Playground.
But we always need more costumes! And now we have some absolutely spectacular ones.
Seriously. They are the best. I cannot wait until Crossing the Line haulaway so we can have a massive costume extravaganza. And not just for our Halloween party but whenever we want.
Actual text message transcript between me and the gentleman:
Me: Also I am now the proud custodian of outrageous fur-trimmed pointy-toed gnome-goblin shoes!
Him: !!
Me: And a hat with a teacup on it, purple silk gloves, and the world’s longest feather boa. And red goggles. And bat wings.
Him: So you’re David Bowie?
Yeeeees.
The massive flood of epiphanies from last week is not over.
All that insane Shiva Nata we did at Rally (Rally!) last week totally paid off.
I have been having brilliant realization after brilliant realization, almost faster than I can jot them down.
Everything is changing. Everything is changing in a really, really good way.
Updates.
Updated the events page and a bunch of other stuff.
Things are moving.
I have the vision for what I want.
Which I knew before.
But now it’s clear. Everything that landed at this last Rally is now really, really clear.
All these different bits and pieces I’ve been working on for the past six years are coming together in a new way, and I get it now. Impossible to describe, but it’s really an amazing thing.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
Pissy Little Fits.
They kind of do this loud rock thing. With some country thrown in. Except that it’s really just one guy.
And THANK YOUs for the lovely presents that arrived this week.
The marvelous kaleidescope and the just right bobble-whatzit contraption from Waverly.
As well as some hoochiedoodles (which are the same thing, apparently) from Eileen.
The pirate mermaid print from a Secret Admirer.
Stickers and tea and oatmeal from the Rallygators.
Lots of wonderful letters.
Thank you.
Other things I enjoyed this week:
This from Cairene about how a shared location doesn’t mean a shared approach. Yes!
This from Anna about swirly patterning aftermath from Shiva Nata, but also every single other thing she has ever written.
This beautiful piece from Yael about permission-based healing. This is really important. Also, wish Yael a happy 40th birthday today and send her love. She’s someone I know from Rally!
Obviously I now need an eagle suit. God how I love Bill Bailey!
Announcement time!
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
- 5 spots left for Crossing the Line: the 8 Day Voyage. (password: haulaway). I highly recommend signing up before I have a chance to write the copy. Bonuses!
- Reminder: Rally prices have to go up in January. Rallies are filling quickly. So take a look at the SCHEDULE for this new year and make a Gwish about when/how.
- Heidi’s newest potion is called Sprezzatura: Hocus Pocus! Just reading the page will make you feel better. Get some! And listen to the recording of some guy saying Sprezzatura, because yay! We’ll have this at the Toy Shop too.
I think that’s everything? If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Crossing the Line.
Back in the day, a sailor’s first voyage across the equator was considered a big deal.
It was a rite of passage. A ritual of crossing.
Everything was different after it happened.
Once you had crossed the line, you weren’t just a sailor anymore. You were a shellback. Someone who had been across.
You had presence in a way that you didn’t before. All voyages change you, but the crossing is a different kind of change.
This is what I’m talking about when I’m talking about crossing.
To me, crossing the line invokes elements of scouting, keeping watch, passage.
It’s also about intention. Committing. Staking a claim. Paying attention to our internal and external lines. Identifying where we stop ourselves.
We cross the line to begin.
Translation! To begin living in a way that is more playful, conscious, meaningful (to you), exploratory and fun.
Questions and answers.
Today I was going to answer some questions about my upcoming Crossing the Line 8 Day Voyage program. Password: haulaway
That was the answer to the question, “Why is it called that? What does it mean?!”
Okay, onward!
How is Crossing the Line different from the Week of Destuckification or the Week of Biggification?
I am combining all the best bits of both of those programs into Crossing the Line.
We will work on creatively play with (among other things), the following:
- becoming IMPERVIOUS to the monsters (while still treating them with compassion)
- having extremely powerful and useful force fields
- sneaky ways to be okay with visibility and still get to wear invisibility cloaks
- being completely able to serenely deal with tough situations
- making progress on the scary stuff without being in the scary.
How is Crossing the Line different from Rally?
1. When we’re off on Rally (Rally!), I don’t give advice or suggestions. Unless you happen to be sitting next to me at lunch and you ask.
While Crossing, we will specifically work on untangling challenges you’re dealing with. Not in scary, confrontational, role-playing ways (tfu tfu tfu). With giggling. But we’ll work on your stuff together.
2. I don’t teach at Rally. We rally at Rally. The framework and culture and the magic of the Playground do their thing for you. They hold the process.
This will also be true during the Crossing, but I’ll teach techniques and lead you through things much more.
3. The Crossing is EIGHT DAYS. This is deep immersion stuff we’re talking about. We’ll also spend way more time on how to implement and take it home.
4. At Rally, you might have no idea what your mysterious project is until the end. On the Crossing, your project is deep destuckifying so you can move forward on whatever it is you want to do (even if you’re conflicted/not sure what that is yet).
5. Additional support, before and after.
6. You get 2 Rallies included as bonuses so you can implement, integrate and apply the stuff that came out of
What if I don’t…?
Okay! Here is what is ABSOLUTELY NOT required.
You do not even slightly need to have a business.
It does not matter to me whether or not you have a business or even want one. Some people on the Crossing will already have successful businesses, some will be starting, some have possible future ideas, some couldn’t care less.
It’s all fine by me. We can work miracles (even if we’re not all that clear on what needs them yet).
You do not even slightly need to know what your thing is.
I do not know what my thing is and I do not expect you to be able to speak coherently about yours.
Having a thing is great if you have one. NEEDING to have one is extremely overrated. (See also: you don’t need to have a thing.)
This is one of the things we will make better.
You do not need to be like me.
People tend to worry about how they don’t like doing downward dog (I once wrote someone a permission slip to never have to ever), or that they don’t want to wear costumes (you don’t have to!).
They worry it will somehow bother me or that the magic won’t work for them because they drink Sprite or don’t have a duck.
What if they like to bake their monsters cookies even though mine don’t always like cookies, and is that okay?!
I see people worrying they aren’t fun enough or kooky enough or something enough.
That’s just outsider complex talking. Of course you don’t need to be like me. You will be like you. That is good.
And yes, there is daily old Turkish lady yoga but you can just nap or roll around on the floor or avoid it altogether or yell “silent retreat!” and run away. Works for me.
So what is required/expected/necessary?
A powerful interest in this stuff we do here.
Conscious and creative untangling of patterns so you can rewrite them. Making changes that you want to make. But not in a Face Your Fear way or an Ass In Chair way.
Here is what I care about:
- That you have a good heart. Yes, you can be sarcastic and roll your eyes and have a good heart.
- That you are a person I can play with.
- That you are genuinely curious about and interested in having a fun, playful, loving, caring relationship with both your projects and your stuff.
- That you have opinions about things!
Here is what I expect you to be excited about and/or familiar with:
These aren’t really so much prerequisites as things I expect you to have an inkling about or interest in…
- Sovereignty. Not how to do it or anything. We’ll practice that! But basic familiarity with the concept: being in active, conscious relationship with your life. You get to be in charge of your personal kingdom. You get to take loving responsibility for your internal space, your body, your time and how you live.
- NVC aka compassionate communication. You don’t have to be at all “good” at it — I do expect you to have read the book (ignoring the poems is fine!) at least once before you arrive.
- Outsider complex. Enough familiarity with the idea to recognize when you’re in it. Because we all do that and it’s good to remember that this is a thing.
- The beautiful thing that is Shiva Nata. You don’t have to have done it. It helps if you’re curious about using the body and brain to interrupt patterns and map out new neural pathways.
Help help I’m being repressed feeling ambivalent!
Sorry, Monty Python moment there. I’m back!
There are two kinds of ambivalent.
If you have monster-ambivalence (“I want this so much! But aaaaaah, scary! And aaaaaah, not allowed!“), that’s good. I mean, that’s useful. You can use that information and work with it.
If you are super EXCITED about the idea of Crossing the Line and also terrified, that’s the kind of ambivalence we want.
Right? Because that’s a sign that this might really be for you, and that’s why the Monster Collective is so invested in scaring you away. They know they might be out of a job soon…
On the other hand, if you’re ambivalent about the thing itself, then my suggestion is to give yourself a popsicle stick permission slip to not have to think about it. See where you are a year from now and consider it again then. It will all work out.
Stopping here.
I thought I’d be done with whisper-brunching and on to regular brunch by now. But that didn’t happen. So!
The page for Crossing the Line: the 8 Day Voyage (password: haulaway) is still a whisper-page without a lot of information. More to come.
Probably. There are only 5 spots left so we might not stop whispering. Look, I’m whispering right now.
In the meantime we’re allowing the additional bonus for a few more days: an invitation to a quiet hanging-out and question-time dinner with me and Selma for anyone who signs up before September 30.
Usual comment zen applies: we all have our stuff, we let other people have their stuff, we take responsibility for our stuff. It’s a process.
And can we have some loving hand-on-heart sighs for the concept of the Crossing? Thank you!
p.s. Did you see the new photo of me and Selma in the sidebar? It’s from the last Rally (Rally!). Thanks to Kylie — more about her tomorrow!