What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Very Personal Ads #116: Denver, here I come!
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Usually these come out on Sunday, but Sunday I was screaming my head off at Besterns.
So we’re doing them now.
Thing 1: Roller Derby! Championships! Denver!
Here’s what I want:
Yesterday was the last day of the Bridgetown Brawl Western Regional tournament.
Rose City’s Wheels of Justice had one last chance to grab third place and make it to Championships in November, and they ran with it to crush Rat City.
Seattle! Thanks for taking out the Denver Roller Dolls so we could face off with you instead.
It was a wild and incredibly exciting weekend of derby, filled with dramatic lead changes, bizarre upsets and everyone I know losing their voice.
And we’re going to Championships!!!! Finally! Yes, the Continental Divide & Conquer.
Which means: setting up a Shiva Nata workshop in either Boulder or Denver. I can’t decide if I’ll do one for the public and one for derby, or just combine them somehow.
Ways this could work:
Local people who can help us out?
I know we’ve definitely had a ton of Rallions who come to Rally from Colorado….
Among the things I’ll need: a space to rent that can hold fifty-sixty people, hotel recommendations, spreading the word…
And a way to fit all my FABULOUS BOUTFITS into one piece of luggage.
My commitment.
To be present. To be proud. To be purple and sparkly. To ask for help. To commit.
Thing 2: creative childcare solutions/brainstorming help…
Here’s what I want:
There are lots and lots of people who would come to Rally and to Shiva Nata classes at the Playground, except they can’t because of the childcare thing.
We do not have room to offer anything like that in the Playground itself. Well, we have physical space for it, but our rooms all have low walls and share the same impossibly high ceiling, so it would be noisy. Which would not work.
And anyway the having to child-proof the Treasure Room would be quite challenging.
Possible theoretical solutions are needed that do not require the use of the Playground space itself.
Ways this could work:
One of the other tenants in the building leaves or sublets a chunk of space to us, and we make it into a kid’s Playground.
Somehow the local Rallion/Shivanaut community comes up with a solution where different people take turns doing kid-watching? In someone’s home? In the building?
I don’t know. This might need to wait until we have a different space.
I am putting it here in the hopes that SPEAKING IT will begin to stir some things.
My commitment.
To play and laugh, and then play and laugh some more. To be five years old.
Thing 3: energy and enthusiasm for coming back into body routines
Here’s what I want:
I haven’t been to a dance class in eight days.
It’s time to return.
Slowly, compassionately, carefully and with loving determination.
Ways this could work:
Use the art of the OOD.
And set up guidelines that can help me ease back in without falling apart.
My commitment.
To find out what I need. Safety first. Exploration without attachment to results.
Thing 4: sweet, loving acceptance for my body
Here’s what I want:
Related to the above.
Finding the unconditional again.
Yes, it sucks that we got sick and that all the routines were shot to hell and that we’re not in phenomenal shape anymore.
And I’m allowed to not like that, and to feel all the legitimate things that I’m feeling.
AND:
This is my home. My body is my home.
So, tfu tfu tfu — may it never happen, if a storm were to come through and damage a part of the porch, it doesn’t make sense to hate and resent my home for not being what it was before.
Or to constantly compare it to THEN.
It’s where I live. So my job is to take care of it in the best way that I can, and to help it be strong and stable.
This is what I’m trying to remember.
Ways this could work:
I can incorporate this into my Hello, Day ritual.
And I can do symbolic things with my own real-life home (Hoppy House) to remind me of how I want to treat my internal home.
Maybe some kind of ritual pre-dance class. Or maybe treat the body things I’m doing as taking a home-repairs course?
My commitment.
To experiment. To ask creative, loving questions. To release expectations. To feel what it’s like to decide to be at home.
Thing 5: opening registration for the Great Ducking Out 2012!
Here’s what I want:
The Great Ducking Out Thanksgiving Rally in November is completely sold out.
If you wanted to come and didn’t sign up in time, ask the First Mate to put you on a waiting list. I can’t make any promises, but you never know.
And now I’d like to open registration for 2012 (the Great Ducking Out III) by next week.
Ways this could work:
Use the Chicken Board at my Kitchen Table program.
Ask for help.
My commitment.
To do some systems work and figure out what changes I want to make. To order the pies!
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted a delightfully kooky throne-like chair and have not found one yet. But I’ve got some good leads.
Then I wanted SLEEP, and there was much napping. Hooray! Though, really, I could also use some more. Re-asking this one.
There was an ask about replacing the video on the Shiva Nata site, which desperately needs to happen. Several people offered their services, and I’m going to need to look into that this week as soon as I recover from derby.
And I wanted to un-whisper, and I am getting closer!
Then there was an ask for a toaster for the Playground, and I am still asking for recommendations/connections. Though Cairene gave us a thing to use once we have the toaster, and it’s awesome. Yay, VPAs!
Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
Friday Chicken #165: gnoblin shoes!
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
This was another one of those weeks where things went unbelievably quickly and unbearably slowly at the same time.
And a lot of the hard and good were kind of the same thing, as it so often happens.
Happy Friday, my dear Chickeneers of the High Seas (also to all the other lovely people who have stumbled onto this thing today). Let’s do this!
The hard stuff
Post-Rally tired and post-Rally catch-up.
And staying up way too late doing wonderful things and then being super sleepy.
Happiness hangover.
Also not sleeping well because of being off schedule.
Trying to get back into routine and have it not happen.
Hard.
Came down with a cold.
Spent the week being drippy and grumpy and feeling horribly unattractive.
With chapped lips and a red nose and the worst headache ever.
So not fun!
And then everything else that happened was getting cycled through the filter of feeling crappy, so that was also not good.
A misunderstanding with myself.
Got caught up in some monster-worry-what-if-scenarios, and it took a while to disengage and untangle.
It was all fantastic once it got sorted but while I was in it…messy and uncomfortable.
Too much to do. Implementation is hard. Etc etc etc.
I don’t really have anything to add to that.
Ohmygod Besterns are this weekend.
This is, of course, a good thing.
Bridgetown Brawl! Western regionals!
Did you know? SIX of the top seven roller derby teams in North America are in our division.
So some of the best derby in the world will be happening this weekend. And it’s happening in Portland! I don’t have to travel!
I’m still putting it in the hard in addition to the good because this is going to be an incredibly busy, loaded, high-stress, anxiety-filled weekend. Which is pretty much the last thing I need right now.
But derby trumps pretty much everything, so I’m going to make it work.
If Rose City makes it to nationals, you will hear me screaming my head off. And I will do the thing I swore off doing and fly on a plane. Besterns!
The good stuff
Besterns! The good part
A weekend of INCREDIBLE derby action.
With some of my shivanauts from the team I sponsor will be out there skating for Rose City’s Wheels of Justice.
And friends-on-skates (Tootie and Juno) visiting from Denver.
And the opportunity for some serious payback when we take down BAD this year. May it be so.
And ohmylord an actual shot at spot #3.
This is going to be unbelievably exciting and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
If you’re at one of the bouts, let me know on Twitter or at the Frolicsome Bar. I will be wearing ridiculous outfits that are purple and sparkly and involve props.
The photo shoot happened before I became a snot-covered red-nosed, smudge-covered, depressive anti-social crankypants in hiding.
Yay for photos!
Yay for looking significantly more good looking while the photo-taking was happening.
If it had been this week we might have had to burn them all.
Or I guess delete them. Ah, the digital age. So much less dramatic.
Anyway, I finally got around to putting new pics up here. Thank you, Kylie!
The best day ever, every minute of it!
First I read this tweet from @mightytoycannon about how the Oregon Children’s Theater was having a giant costume sale. With whiskey.
As you might already know, costumes and whiskey are pretty much my two favorite things in the entire world.
If you were going to design an event with me in mind, one where you drink whiskey and try on costumes AT THE SAME TIME would be perfect.
Really the only way it could be better would be if it combined roller derby and Shiva Nata in some way.
So I went. And — hey, speaking of Shiva Nata, three wonderful shivanauts from the last Rally (Rally!) who were still in town came with me.
Also I ran into Skeeve Holt. So there was a derby connection too. See?!
We bought costumes. We wore them on the bus and the bus driver said YAY. We went and were Captured By Porches and drank beer and ate mac+cheese.
And cackled maniacally as we plotted more spectacular future adventures for the Playground and for us.
So. COSTUMES!
We already have a fairly well-stocked Costumery in the Treasure Room at the Playground.
But we always need more costumes! And now we have some absolutely spectacular ones.
Seriously. They are the best. I cannot wait until Crossing the Line haulaway so we can have a massive costume extravaganza. And not just for our Halloween party but whenever we want.
Actual text message transcript between me and the gentleman:
Me: Also I am now the proud custodian of outrageous fur-trimmed pointy-toed gnome-goblin shoes!
Him: !!
Me: And a hat with a teacup on it, purple silk gloves, and the world’s longest feather boa. And red goggles. And bat wings.
Him: So you’re David Bowie?
Yeeeees.
The massive flood of epiphanies from last week is not over.
All that insane Shiva Nata we did at Rally (Rally!) last week totally paid off.
I have been having brilliant realization after brilliant realization, almost faster than I can jot them down.
Everything is changing. Everything is changing in a really, really good way.
Updates.
Updated the events page and a bunch of other stuff.
Things are moving.
I have the vision for what I want.
Which I knew before.
But now it’s clear. Everything that landed at this last Rally is now really, really clear.
All these different bits and pieces I’ve been working on for the past six years are coming together in a new way, and I get it now. Impossible to describe, but it’s really an amazing thing.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
Pissy Little Fits.
They kind of do this loud rock thing. With some country thrown in. Except that it’s really just one guy.
And THANK YOUs for the lovely presents that arrived this week.
The marvelous kaleidescope and the just right bobble-whatzit contraption from Waverly.
As well as some hoochiedoodles (which are the same thing, apparently) from Eileen.
The pirate mermaid print from a Secret Admirer.
Stickers and tea and oatmeal from the Rallygators.
Lots of wonderful letters.
Thank you.
Other things I enjoyed this week:
This from Cairene about how a shared location doesn’t mean a shared approach. Yes!
This from Anna about swirly patterning aftermath from Shiva Nata, but also every single other thing she has ever written.
This beautiful piece from Yael about permission-based healing. This is really important. Also, wish Yael a happy 40th birthday today and send her love. She’s someone I know from Rally!
Obviously I now need an eagle suit. God how I love Bill Bailey!
Announcement time!
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
- 5 spots left for Crossing the Line: the 8 Day Voyage. (password: haulaway). I highly recommend signing up before I have a chance to write the copy. Bonuses!
- Reminder: Rally prices have to go up in January. Rallies are filling quickly. So take a look at the SCHEDULE for this new year and make a Gwish about when/how.
- Heidi’s newest potion is called Sprezzatura: Hocus Pocus! Just reading the page will make you feel better. Get some! And listen to the recording of some guy saying Sprezzatura, because yay! We’ll have this at the Toy Shop too.
I think that’s everything? If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Crossing the Line.
Back in the day, a sailor’s first voyage across the equator was considered a big deal.
It was a rite of passage. A ritual of crossing.
Everything was different after it happened.
Once you had crossed the line, you weren’t just a sailor anymore. You were a shellback. Someone who had been across.
You had presence in a way that you didn’t before. All voyages change you, but the crossing is a different kind of change.
This is what I’m talking about when I’m talking about crossing.
To me, crossing the line invokes elements of scouting, keeping watch, passage.
It’s also about intention. Committing. Staking a claim. Paying attention to our internal and external lines. Identifying where we stop ourselves.
We cross the line to begin.
Translation! To begin living in a way that is more playful, conscious, meaningful (to you), exploratory and fun.
Questions and answers.
Today I was going to answer some questions about my upcoming Crossing the Line 8 Day Voyage program. Password: haulaway
That was the answer to the question, “Why is it called that? What does it mean?!”
Okay, onward!
How is Crossing the Line different from the Week of Destuckification or the Week of Biggification?
I am combining all the best bits of both of those programs into Crossing the Line.
We will work on creatively play with (among other things), the following:
- becoming IMPERVIOUS to the monsters (while still treating them with compassion)
- having extremely powerful and useful force fields
- sneaky ways to be okay with visibility and still get to wear invisibility cloaks
- being completely able to serenely deal with tough situations
- making progress on the scary stuff without being in the scary.
How is Crossing the Line different from Rally?
1. When we’re off on Rally (Rally!), I don’t give advice or suggestions. Unless you happen to be sitting next to me at lunch and you ask.
While Crossing, we will specifically work on untangling challenges you’re dealing with. Not in scary, confrontational, role-playing ways (tfu tfu tfu). With giggling. But we’ll work on your stuff together.
2. I don’t teach at Rally. We rally at Rally. The framework and culture and the magic of the Playground do their thing for you. They hold the process.
This will also be true during the Crossing, but I’ll teach techniques and lead you through things much more.
3. The Crossing is EIGHT DAYS. This is deep immersion stuff we’re talking about. We’ll also spend way more time on how to implement and take it home.
4. At Rally, you might have no idea what your mysterious project is until the end. On the Crossing, your project is deep destuckifying so you can move forward on whatever it is you want to do (even if you’re conflicted/not sure what that is yet).
5. Additional support, before and after.
6. You get 2 Rallies included as bonuses so you can implement, integrate and apply the stuff that came out of
What if I don’t…?
Okay! Here is what is ABSOLUTELY NOT required.
You do not even slightly need to have a business.
It does not matter to me whether or not you have a business or even want one. Some people on the Crossing will already have successful businesses, some will be starting, some have possible future ideas, some couldn’t care less.
It’s all fine by me. We can work miracles (even if we’re not all that clear on what needs them yet).
You do not even slightly need to know what your thing is.
I do not know what my thing is and I do not expect you to be able to speak coherently about yours.
Having a thing is great if you have one. NEEDING to have one is extremely overrated. (See also: you don’t need to have a thing.)
This is one of the things we will make better.
You do not need to be like me.
People tend to worry about how they don’t like doing downward dog (I once wrote someone a permission slip to never have to ever), or that they don’t want to wear costumes (you don’t have to!).
They worry it will somehow bother me or that the magic won’t work for them because they drink Sprite or don’t have a duck.
What if they like to bake their monsters cookies even though mine don’t always like cookies, and is that okay?!
I see people worrying they aren’t fun enough or kooky enough or something enough.
That’s just outsider complex talking. Of course you don’t need to be like me. You will be like you. That is good.
And yes, there is daily old Turkish lady yoga but you can just nap or roll around on the floor or avoid it altogether or yell “silent retreat!” and run away. Works for me.
So what is required/expected/necessary?
A powerful interest in this stuff we do here.
Conscious and creative untangling of patterns so you can rewrite them. Making changes that you want to make. But not in a Face Your Fear way or an Ass In Chair way.
Here is what I care about:
- That you have a good heart. Yes, you can be sarcastic and roll your eyes and have a good heart.
- That you are a person I can play with.
- That you are genuinely curious about and interested in having a fun, playful, loving, caring relationship with both your projects and your stuff.
- That you have opinions about things!
Here is what I expect you to be excited about and/or familiar with:
These aren’t really so much prerequisites as things I expect you to have an inkling about or interest in…
- Sovereignty. Not how to do it or anything. We’ll practice that! But basic familiarity with the concept: being in active, conscious relationship with your life. You get to be in charge of your personal kingdom. You get to take loving responsibility for your internal space, your body, your time and how you live.
- NVC aka compassionate communication. You don’t have to be at all “good” at it — I do expect you to have read the book (ignoring the poems is fine!) at least once before you arrive.
- Outsider complex. Enough familiarity with the idea to recognize when you’re in it. Because we all do that and it’s good to remember that this is a thing.
- The beautiful thing that is Shiva Nata. You don’t have to have done it. It helps if you’re curious about using the body and brain to interrupt patterns and map out new neural pathways.
Help help I’m being repressed feeling ambivalent!
Sorry, Monty Python moment there. I’m back!
There are two kinds of ambivalent.
If you have monster-ambivalence (“I want this so much! But aaaaaah, scary! And aaaaaah, not allowed!“), that’s good. I mean, that’s useful. You can use that information and work with it.
If you are super EXCITED about the idea of Crossing the Line and also terrified, that’s the kind of ambivalence we want.
Right? Because that’s a sign that this might really be for you, and that’s why the Monster Collective is so invested in scaring you away. They know they might be out of a job soon…
On the other hand, if you’re ambivalent about the thing itself, then my suggestion is to give yourself a popsicle stick permission slip to not have to think about it. See where you are a year from now and consider it again then. It will all work out.
Stopping here.
I thought I’d be done with whisper-brunching and on to regular brunch by now. But that didn’t happen. So!
The page for Crossing the Line: the 8 Day Voyage (password: haulaway) is still a whisper-page without a lot of information. More to come.
Probably. There are only 5 spots left so we might not stop whispering. Look, I’m whispering right now.
In the meantime we’re allowing the additional bonus for a few more days: an invitation to a quiet hanging-out and question-time dinner with me and Selma for anyone who signs up before September 30.
Usual comment zen applies: we all have our stuff, we let other people have their stuff, we take responsibility for our stuff. It’s a process.
And can we have some loving hand-on-heart sighs for the concept of the Crossing? Thank you!
p.s. Did you see the new photo of me and Selma in the sidebar? It’s from the last Rally (Rally!). Thanks to Kylie — more about her tomorrow!
Generating perfect simple solutions (part 2?)
Yesterday I told you a long and complicated but also awesome story about a perfect simple solution.
And there were other things I wanted to tell you about perfect simple solutions and resolutions but I didn’t get around to any of it.
But really the main thing we should always be talking about is:
How do you set things up so that perfect simple solutions can show up?
And/or:
How to bring more of this mindful, creative, curious and playful approach* into daily life so we can get better at recognizing the perfect simple solutions that are already there…
* This approach = the stuff we talk about here. And work on indirectly + directly at Rally (Rally!).
So. Getting to perfect simple solutions.
Well, getting to them more easily.
Starting with a number of practices that I find crazy useful. In no particular order.
Try what appeals to you. Adapt as necessary. Discard what isn’t for you.
Twelve things you could try.
1. Ask for them. Regularly.
A regular practice of Very Personal Ads is a great way to get clarity on what you actually want.
(That is to say, what the real desires are that are hiding behind the perceived want).
It’s also a useful way to find out which parts of you are opposed to asking, to receiving support, to things working out. Resistance sucks, but at least you know where it’s coming from and what it has to say.
You’re learning more about your relationship with wanting these solutions, and that’s part of the solution too.
You could also do the asking in the style of Hello, Day. Except it would be Hello, Perfect Simple Solution.
2. Find the essence.
You could try setting aside designated time for examining the qualities and essence of what you want.
For example, I’m currently looking for a perfect simple solution to a semi-challenging something happening in my business.
What do I want from this solution?
Lightness. Relief. Sovereignty. For both sides to feel heard. Appreciation. Simplicity. Sustainability. Trust. Belonging.
So once I know that, I can mess around with bringing more of these qualities into how I want to approach the situation.
3. Ask the magic wand question.
The magic wand question solves all sorts of things, because it tells you what kind of a perfect simple solution you’re receptive to.
If I could wave a magic wand and solve this, would you take it?
Yes-but!
Yes-but I would want to know that this person would not resent me.
Yes-but I would want to know that I had expressed myself clearly.
That’s information I can use.
4. A love letter is a helpful thing.
You could write a love letter to the perfect simple solution.
Tell it what you know about it, what you want from it, what you’re working on.
5. More Shiva Nata, of course.
Maybe start with some Flip-its. Get creative.
And make sure you’re messing up! Mistakes = yay!
6. Ask more questions.
Do some stone skipping.
What would bring more simplicity into this solution? What am I not seeing or remembering? If this could happen with more ease, what might that look like?
7. Exit as well as enter.
For example, you might do a Spangly Revue of what is working, as well as what you might try for next time.
Or imagine that you already have the perfect simple solution. What has changed? How are you feeling/thinking/walking/breathing given this new development?
8. Interact with the (totally legitimate) disbelief that a perfect simple solution exists.
You could talk with the monsters and walls.
Negotiate with the scared parts of you who are in resistance to the idea that perfect simple solutions could be available. Tell them about how Now Is Not Then.
9. Safe rooms!
Try making safe rooms for the parts of you who are still grieving over situations where they were not able to access perfect simple solutions or resolutions.
Acknowledge their pain. Find out how you can comfort them.
10. Talk to the version of you who has already figured this out.
Ask Slightly Future You what he/she knows about resolving this particular challenge.
11. Use a proxy!
If the situation needing a solution is complicated or painful, it might be helpful to invent a proxy to stand-in for the real thing that needs resolving.
12. Art of the OOD.
Use the OOD.
Make the perfect simple solution your Object of Desire.
Then solve for X.
As always, the important thing is not the techniques.
It’s about the approach.
People vary. What works for one person might not be your thing.
But the approach — being conscious, curious, playful, inquisitive, receptive and asking compassionate questions — will be the same. Try things!
You may have other stuff that works for you. And you’ll also probably discover new techniques or adapt these or invent your own.
And you’ll do it with curiosity, play, exploration, and a loving investigation of what you need.
I was going to give a bunch of examples for each of these, but then I remembered that you guys can do this on your own.
So let’s start coming up with examples and playing with the patterns.
Usual blanket-fort comment zen applies:
We all have our stuff. We let other people have their stuff. We take responsibility for our experience. We don’t tell each other what to do or how to feel. We remember that people vary. We’re here to play.
Love to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
Perfect Simple Solutions.
The perfect simple solution is a phrase I have borrowed from Hiro.
This phrase is actually a sort of perfect simple solution itself, in that it elegantly sums up its own magic in its name.
A perfect simple solution is perfect because of its simplicity. The unexpected, just-right thing that makes it all work.
Simple, elegant, efficient, harmonious, and sometimes right there in front of me.
Even more likely: I was just tripping over it and didn’t notice.
Perfect simple solutions: what I want from my Very Personal Ads and what I wish for in the bath. And one of the main reasons I do Shiva Nata.
This story starts with a list.
Last week I was rallying it up at Rally (Rally!), and one aspect of my project-like thing involved thinking about my relationship with my work space.
I was thinking about how much I adore the Playground. And also about what isn’t working there.
This resulted in a list (magic markers and construction paper) about all the things I wished could be changed:
- There’s not enough room in the Galley. If we have eight people at Rally and half of them are making tea, it’s cramped. But when we have sixteen people at Rally, it gets ridiculous.
- We need more projectizing space. And another desk. But before we move to a bigger building. We need it now.
- We need more storage space and it can’t be in my Quarters. We need storage in the Galley (but there’s no room in the Galley!) and also by the stage, for things I need while teaching.
- I don’t like the tall bookcase in my Dressing Room, but there’s nowhere else it can go!
- I can’t keep storing things behind the stage anymore.
- The Free Box isn’t working where it is. It needs a new home.
- We need a larger trash receptacle in the Galley.
- The Toy Shop needs a larger display stand but where are we going to find it?
Except the list was kind of stressing me out.
For one thing, it was kind of overwhelming.
I’m usually waxing rhapsodic about how the Playground is the most fun, sparkly, surprising, magical place I’ve ever been.
Which is pretty different — and so much better! — than my thoughts about all the other places I’ve worked or lived in my life.
It felt weird to be focusing on these things that aren’t working.
Also, compiling these wishes was made more depressing by the several unexpected business expenses from in the past month, so this is sadly very much not the time to go out and acquire new furnishings.
We’d have to make do somehow.
It was definitely time for some perfect simple solutions.
I made the request. We’re going to need a perfect simple solution. Possibly several!
And decided to make that my intention for our Shiva Nata session: to see the patterns and find the solutions.
Except then I totally forgot that this was going to be my intention and decided to play with something else. Something about trust. Which turned out to be its own perfect simple solution.
We did ten minutes of insanely insane Shiva Nata and I could actually feel my brain reordering itself for the rest of the day. The zap-hum of repatterning.
Anyway. That was Wednesday.
On Thursday the patterns were clear.
The thing about Shiva Nata is that it will show you the patterns. That’s what it does. You just have to challenge yourself and pay attention.
So here’s what I got:
I dislike making do. I am very good at making do.
Those two exit in a sort of symbiotic loop.
That loop, and the related pain, is a pattern at the core of the patterns that are leaving. The ones I’m done with.
The new patterns coming in to replace it have to do with:
a) being okay with the solutions being easy,
b) being okay with solutions making themselves known,
c) solutions showing up when I need them,
d) having a new relationship with asking for and receiving help.
And on Friday morning the perfect simple solution was there.
It was such a fabulous and typically shivanautical moment.
I woke up and knew exactly where everything needed to go.
The table in the Galley could become an additional desk in the Treasure Room.
(This actually created two new projectizing places: the new desk, and then a perfect little cozy blanket-fort-able area between that desk and the other table.)
The Clown Chest could go to the Galley, giving us more storage and a place for the tea kettle and additional water dispenser.
The bookshelf in my office could go next to the stage and behind the flip chart, with a curtain.
The blue chest from the Treasure Room could go into my Dressing Room instead. The Free Box could go to the open Galley.
I already had everything I needed. Just in the wrong configuration.
Now there’s so much room in the Galley: it’s open and spacious! There’s way more storage, in all the places where I need it. And my Dressing Room feels like me again.
Oh, and then I happened to go next door…
And there were two places having giant sales. So I picked up the just-right trash receptacle and the display for the Toy Shop at half price.
It was that kind of day. Perfect simple solutions everywhere!
And not just perfect for me, but the kind of sovereign and harmonious thing that ends up being the best thing for all parties involved.
Everyone who comes to Rally Rally! will benefit from these changes. And the changes are more congruent with the personality, culture, purpose and essence of the playful place that houses them.
Do you see how great?! Seriously, the whole thing was AMAZING.
It was as if the entire Playground got this awesome makeover, just by rearranging the elements.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow I’ll talk about establishing a practice of investigating and looking for perfect simple solutions.
Today I just want to sit at the Playground and breathe in the new.
Play with me! And blanket fort comment zen…
This is hard stuff. There’s nothing more painful than being in that tight, scary place when you need the solutions and they aren’t coming.
And then the resistance keeps tightening on itself. It sucks. I’m sorry.
My gwish for you is that this practice brings you ease. But I also totally get that before the ease there might be a lot of gunk to work through. It’s hard.
We can play with asking for perfect simple solutions.
We can play with noticing patterns without judging ourselves for having the patterns.
We can throw things into the pot.
As always, we let people have their own experience, we take responsibility for our experience and we don’t tell each other what to do or how to feel.
xox
p.s. If you want to mess around some more with this thing that is perfect simple solutions, come to a Rally in 2012. I actually have something that might be a perfect simple solution for this — will tell you about it later this week.