What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Popsicle sticks and permission slips
It seemed like the kind of day for some permission slips.
Permission to not know. Or not know how.
Permission to not have to follow everything to the end, whatever that is. Walking out of the movie is okay. So is changing the project.
Permission to wish for aspects of someone else’s superpowers, knowing that this does not in any way diminish theirs.
Permission to flail around and make mistakes, like we do in Shiva Nata.
To try things. To be wrong and have that be okay.
Permission to forget.
Even if you’ve forgotten about something that’s really important to you.
And permission to then remember it again.
When you’re ready.
Permission to be in the stuck for a while.
To hit a wall. Maybe even lots of walls.
To find yourself in the land of plateau. To stop and start. To stop and not be ready to start.
To put off X [example: reading my book on procrastination!] for as long as you want, without thinking that this is a sign that you will never get around to it.
It isn’t. It’s your process.
Seriously. It’s called the dissolve-o-matic for a reason. Dissolving doesn’t happen through force.
Permission to let everyone else have their stuff.
To return everyone else’s projections, as Hiro says.
To remember that the rising tide lifts all boats — what is good for others is not bad for you.
To cry when you need to cry and laugh when you need to laugh.
To not have to justify yourself to anyone.
Permission to not be ready.
To not have answers.
To not have a five year plan.
To not know what your thing is. To not have a thing!
To hide. To scramble. To wonder. To not know what you want. To not apologize for wanting it when you do know.
To come to the shivanautical teacher training even if you have no idea what you’re doing, just because it’s tingly.
Permission to make your own permission slips.
And tape them to popsicle sticks and wave them around, if you feel like it.
Permission to know that permission does not come from me.
It is yours. Amnesty belongs to you — it is an inherent thing like sovereignty, not something that I have and hand out. It’s everywhere.
I am going to the Playground to mess around with glitter pipe cleaners (arts and crafts supplies are so much cooler now than when I was a kid!) and make some more permission slips.
Aside! Do you know Amy? Amy also makes wearable permission slips (I’m pretty sure this is one of the ideas that she came up while rallying it up at Rally!).
If you would like to invent things to go on permission slips and share them here, that would be lovely.
And an extra permission slips for our permission slips to not have to be interesting, original or whatever. They are reminders. They exist for us.
A Dick Tracy lunchbox gave me some decent advice.
When I get stalled and stuckified — which happens all the time — I have this game I play.
You stop whatever you’re doing. You look around and find five objects.
Objects isn’t really a big enough category. Five somethings. Could also be things like colors, words or sensations.
And then you pretend that each one is a symbol. More than a symbol. A clue.
You decide that each of these somethings has some information for you. It holds some piece that you need for finding your way through the hard.
Like this.
When I go through my project notebooks or the writings from Rally (Rally!), this exercise shows up every few pages. I do it kind of a lot.
And it’s insanely helpful, both at the time I’m doing it (because it turns the stuck into play and conscious interaction), and after the fact.
It’s also fairly entertaining to peek at my notes and see what the five things are. If they’re crazy, then I was at the Playground. If they’re standard things like furniture or a window, I was in my office.
Note to self: office needs to get way more fun…
Five clues to help me make changes in a program that I teach.
- The word PUZZLE
- This fuzzy orange pipe cleaner
- “Watching the big ships”
- Wearable wings
- Pink fairy door with potted plants
And what do they want to tell me about making these changes?
Puzzle says:
Intrigue people. Make them think and make them work for it. If not by applications then maybe by doing some sort of exercise before they come. Leave clues for them.
Fuzzy orange pipe cleaner says:
The new website changes will help. Put up lots of pictures. Mention me. Describe the experiences. Make it all about play.
The idea of watching the big ships says:
Watch the ships. ORDER and PROCESS. Each piece has its place. What looks like slow progress is actually the timing of things.
The wings say:
Trust. You are doing what is needed. Stick with it.
The pink fairy door with the plants says:
There are many ways this could happen. Commit to being surprised. Run with it.
Five clues to help me know what to do next.
- Rex the pig, sprawled on his chair.
- Dick Tracy lunchbox.
- Pink stencils.
- Pirate monkey meditation cushion.
- The word SHARPIE (because I’m holding a sharpie!).
What do they know about whatever needs to happen next?
Rex the pig: Do more child’s pose!
Dick Tracy lunchbox: Carry things with you and create designated spaces.
Pink stencils: There is a shape and form for everything — just use it.
Pirate monkey cushion: Sit and be playful, because it always helps.
SHARPIE: Cut through the unknown by deciding that you’re going to play.
Five clues to help me write a blog post.
- Red lamp.
- Pink wig.
- Blooming lilacs out the window.
- Stack of coasters.
- Billy Joel.
What do they know about writing blog posts?
Red lamp: You never know who the light is going to impact, you just keep radiating.
Pink wig: Put me on and become another aspect of yourself.
Blooming lilacs: Walk outside and breathe — you’ll feel so much better.
Stack of coasters: Everything is interchangeable.
Billy Joel: *hums* Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone….
Okay!
Play with me? Caveats, ideas, comment zen…
If you can’t find five things near you, wander around until they show up. Conscious and intentional wandering around is a good way to destuckify anyway.
If you don’t like the advice they give, ask again. Or reframe the question. Or check to see that it’s not actually your fuzzball monsters trying to sabotage the game.
If the monsters say this is stupid, agree with them. And then suggest they go along with it anyway as an experiment to prove them right.
If they say it’s a waste of time, agree with them. And point out that since you’re already stuck and nothing is working, you might as well try it.
Sometimes, even when you know from experience how useful this game is, it’s still hard to remember to use it. I keep a reminder in the oh-no-everything-sucks section of the Book of Me.
Also! Reading my notes later is like running a Revue. I can see how I got out of the hard and then try to replicate it! Yay.
The usual reminder.
We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process. We create safety for other people to share the stuff they’re working on by not giving them unsolicited advice.
If you’d like to play the Finding Five Clews thing with me, that would be lovely. And you can use this for absolutely anything, so if you want to invent other uses and experiments, that could be fun too.
Beacons.
I have been looking for a special word to describe the kinds of companies and organizations whose culture, essence and qualities I admire.
The businesses whose superpowers I’m invoking when I make decisions for my own business.
–> The Fluent Self, Inc — aka the pirate ship and our new island and the port we’re building… 🙂
So I consulted with metaphor mouse, and the word we ended up with was beacons.
Beacons!
They emit light.
They penetrate fog. They give off signals — signals that can act as both warning or celebration. They show you where you could go, if you wanted to. And the word is related to beckon, which is kind of awesome.
So. Here are the beacons for my business. Note that not all of them share similar business models — what I’m looking at instead is essence, qualities and that jumbled thing we call culture.
Zingerman’s.
I’ve referenced Zingerman’s in a number of posts — as early on as Betty Boop is my business coach (nearly three years ago).
They were featured in the excellent book Small Giants, whose subtitle — Companies that choose to be great instead of big — pretty much sums up my entire philosophy.
Instead of becoming a chain, they intentionally stayed local, to huge success.
And — in an inspiring have-cake–eat-it-too way, they’re still a thriving international company, due to the magic of the internet. Now they have a giant side business based on mail order, and they run business trainings on how to replicate what they’ve done.
There are a couple dozen other things I admire about them but in the interest of brevity, here are three:
- the quirky, silly, light-hearted, playful, colorful, distinctive graphic look and feel.
- the ridiculously high quality of training for all employees, which is very much based on the concept of sovereignty, even if they don’t call it that.
- the endless creative and non-traditional ways they’ve found to innovate (bacon camp!) and expand (the candy manufactory!).
The qualities that I’m inspired by:
Creativity, play, sovereignty, joyfulness, courage, expansiveness, service, certainty, trust, possibility.
Roller Derby!
Specifically WFTDA, the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, but also the larger culture beyond the official organization. Everything from the derby nerds network to the drag names to the boutfits.
I love all of it.
And I am especially in awe of the way a massive organization made up of a ton of moving parts has been able to face the growth challenges that come with going from tiny to enormous in just a few years.
The qualities that I’m inspired by:
Fearlessness, power, order, trust, agility, adaptability, grace, speed, creativity, play.
Also the inclusivity: once you’re in derby, you’re derby for life. There is such an atmosphere of welcoming and belonging.
And the fun. The fact that even as a fast-changing, highly competitive athletic experience, there’s still a lot of room for fun. And for tutu-and/or-kilt-wearing referees.
Last night I taught a Shiva Nata class with the bad-ass Guns N Rollers (the team I sponsor), and it was seriously the most fun I have ever had working with athletes. We tore it up, but in the spirit of silliness. IT WAS AMAZING!
Michael Port.
This is an interesting one, because Michael and I have really different styles, in terms of marketing, voice, products, pretty much everything. There’s a lot we don’t necessarily agree on.
So maybe not a stylistic beacon or a content beacon, but a beacon in how he thinks about business and how he approaches it. I admire him.
Michael is the one who taught me about how to work with a team pirate crew, as I call it. He taught me how to hire and how to train.
I’ve learned other useful things from him as well. Like how to have deep love for your people without getting sucked into their stuff.
And the thing that I secretly think of as the inverse hourglass approach.
The qualities that I’m inspired by:
Trust, order, structure, caring, compassion, spaciousness, motivation, drive, love.
And there’s also something in there about belonging. Making room for people.
My friend Hiro and my uncle Svevo.
Two bright, creative, self-aware, fun-loving entrepreneurs, each of whom manages to live in a really sovereign way.
When they work on their businesses, they do it through play and experimentation.
Business does not get in the way of the desire to nap or go for a walk.
A feeling of urgency is a sign that there’s some internal stuff to investigate and check in with, not something that they assume is reality.
The qualities that I’m inspired by:
They do business the way they do everything else: in integrity, wholeness, patience, simplicity, wonder and delight.
Also: Comfort, trust, kindness, play, light-heartedness, provision, patience and forgiveness.
McMenamins.
The McMenamins brothers have done all sorts of spectacular things with unlikely and often abandoned buildings, in Oregon and Washington.
Like Zingerman’s, they’re another example of going big while staying local — and finding ways to grow and expand without trying to be everywhere at once or taking the bullying low road.
Cough. Starbucks.
The McMenamins spaces are all different, but they all share a similar feel, and similar warmth and goofiness.
And the concept of three-dollar-movies while getting beer and pizza delivered to your seat has made them beloved of Portlanders in particular.
Like with anything that grows, there are as many people who dislike them as like them, but I’m still hugely impressed by the choices they have made.
The qualities that I’m inspired by:
Experimentation, play, leadership, structure, innovation, conscious expansion, building community, delight in small details.
Those are my beacons.
These are the people, businesses and qualities that I’m keeping in mind as I steer the pirate ship towards bigger things and the adventures to come.
Sometimes when I’m feeling unsure of the future, I ask myself what Svevo would do, or how I’d solve a particular problem if I were the McMenamins brothers.
Having beacons doesn’t necessarily always tell me where to go, but it tells me that someone else has crossed these waters before.
And it gives me hope and inspiration. I can’t get lost if I follow the qualities.
Play with me? Comment zen for today…
I would absolutely love to know who your beacons are (in business, blogging or life in general), and what you’re inspired by.
As always, we’re all working on our stuff. Business is a trigger-filled topic and so we tread gently with other people’s stuff and let them have their own experience.
Not interested in: Arguing. People are entitled to their own beacons. No one is implying that their beacons should be your beacons. If you happen to dislike any of my beacons, that’s not information that needs to be shared.
What I would love: Thoughts on beacons and who/what your beacons are or might be, and anything related to this practice of finding the qualities.
That is all. Much love to all the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and anyone who reads.
Very Personal Ads #94: basically the pink wig is in charge from now on
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: a Shiva Nata faq that I might even enjoy writing.
Here’s what I want:
I’d really like to throw together a fabulous and useful Frequently Asked Questions list for the upcoming Shiva Nata teacher training that I’m running in September.
And I’d like this to not turn into a giant pain-in-the-ass never-ending project of doom, but instead to be fun.
Yes, I’d like it to a) happen, and b) happen with as much ease, flow, support, joy and general silliness as possible.
Ways this could work:
I can ask for help.
Actually, there are lots of people who could help. The shivanauts in the Secret Lab, people in my Kitchen Table program, graduates of past teacher trainings…
Also, I can wear my sparkly pink wig. Because costumes always help.
And you know what would be extra-great? If we could make progress on a general, non-teaching-related faq at the same time. I would love that.
My commitment.
To notice where my stuff comes up and get outside perspective, because sometimes I’m so deep in the practice that I’m probably the wrong person to be answering frequently answered questions.
To connect to the fractal flowers and remind myself of all the ways that this mission is useful for the future.
To insist that it is okay to find ways to make this pleasurable, instead of just slogging through it through force, because Shiva Nata is always about replacing the old patterns with better ones.
Thing 2:
Here’s what I want:
Tomorrow I’m teaching a special Shiva Nata class for the hard-rocking Guns N Rollers — the roller derby team we sponsor.
We’ll be working on coordination, speed, agility, brain training, reaction time and force fields! Obviously it will be a good time.
What I’d like is for it to be a really useful, powerful experience that supports everything the team needs, and brings more shivanautical superpowers into the world of derby.
I’d also like it to plant seeds for my bigger dream: a world in which pretty much all athletes do Shiva Nata, as a matter of course. Because who doesn’t want to be more coordinated?
The pitcher for the San Francisco Giants: warming up with a little Shiva Nata in the bullpen. In the Bundesliga, of course! Because doing Shiva Nata is how you avoid relegation — everyone knows that. Any NBA team making it to the playoffs… they’re going to be looking for a great Shiva Nata trainer…
It feels like fantasy now. But it isn’t. And somehow I want this class to be symbolically connected to that vision.
Ways this could work:
I’m going to have to do some talking with Slightly Future Me, to see what she knows about how this is connected. Or how I can imagine/pretend it is.
And I need to recognize what is possible.
My commitment.
To pay attention to what’s needed.
To ask how I can be of service.
To be curious, receptive, and to ask lots of questions.
Thing 3: writing up notes!
Here’s what I want:
Last week I got all this amazing help from Cairene on one of my projects.
And I have about a million pages of notes that I’d like to type up and organize, so that I’m not desperately searching for this notebook in six months when I’ll really need them.
And I’m not even slightly in the mood.
Ways this could work:
The pink wig, of course.
Hmmm. It’s really the same as the previous ask. It’s about finding a way to feel the connections between the thing I’m doing in the moment and the bigger plan/vision/desire.
So that steps don’t happen in isolation.
My commitment.
To write a tiny love letter to the notes.
To ask the part of me who knows how to do this what would make it more fun.
To stay connected to the essence of what I want while I’m figuring out the details — using the soft to be in the hard.
Thing 4: rewriting the Rally page
Here’s what I want:
We have a Rally (Rally!) coming up. It is the ninth Rally.
Each one has been nothing short of miraculous in terms of how much it’s possible to get the hell done in a matter of three and a half days. It is a shiny, epiphany-filled voyage of hilarity, productivity and surprises.
And I am still not very good at explaining what it is or why it is so life-changingly spectacular.
So I’d like to rewrite the page that describes it.
Ways this could work:
Help and support from my Kitchen Table companions at the Deguiltified Chicken Board forum.
Ideas from past and present Rallions.
To keep working on the Playground website.
Surely there is something I can do without the help of the pink wig? No. Apparently not. Okay, pink wig it is!
And of course, some shivanautical hot buttered insights, please.
Saying “hot buttered” just reminded me of how much I can’t wait for pesach to be over. Is it now? Is it now? Are we there yet?
My commitment.
To mess around. To play. To be receptive to a variety of possibilities.
To examine perceptions and assumptions. And to ask why about a million times until I figure out what I’m wrong about.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted lots and lots of movement, physical and otherwise. And there was lots of it.
Mostly shivanautical but also walking and stretching and getting stuff done.
Then I wanted ease with pesach, and that happened because the gentleman friend basically took over and did the whole thing.
The next thing was about updating my various projects, which didn’t happen in some ways but did in other ways (I finished and put up the new about pages and the Whee the people page).
And I wanted a calm, steady, knowing-what-to-do, and it showed up when I needed it. Yay.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
The word “manifest”. To be told how I should be asking for things. To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Much love for your gwishes! So happy to have you doing this with me.
Friday Chicken #142: disoriented and productive mouse needs some sunshine please
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Friday! Oh, Friday!
I’m so glad you’re here.
The hard stuff
The overdoing-it headache.
Yes, the overdoing-it headache that comes from overdoing-it.
I have officially overdone-it.
Ow.
Too much to do when all I want is to be out in the sun..
Note for the almanac section of the Book of Me:
Working yourself ragged in April is sooooo unfair. Change your life somehow so that you can get out and walk more because not doing that is horrible!
Okay, I’ll probably need a better plan that that, but it’s all I’ve got for now.
Big delays with the Shiva Nata iPhone app.
First some issues with the graphics and now I have to re-record all the audio.
Luckily our designer and programmer are both being amazing and patient with all of this. Still, this is a giant project.
And since it’s more of a symbolic biggification project rather than something that is actually going to be bringing in the monies, it’s kind of frustrating to be spending even more time on it after I’d thought we were so close to done.
Ugh, pesach is so disorienting.
And you have to always be home or there’s nothing to eat. Of course there’s nothing to eat at home either because you’re so sick of the two and a half kinds of food you’re allowed to eat.
And there’s still ages of it to go. Bah, bread of affliction, say I.
Not being able to dance.
First there was a hurt ankle, then some other stuff going on.
It makes me the crazy!
The good stuff
A silent mini-Very-Personal-Ad answered.
Last week I was writing all this stuff about how I want lots of tiny, cute little decoration things for the Playground, and also more display cases for items in the Toy Shop.
And then guess what happened?
Portland’s largest garage sale.
Timing was perfect. We got what we needed, got out quickly and (astonishingly) didn’t panic.
The fourth ever Shiva Nata teacher training!
It’s happening! In September.
We just announced the new teacher training yesterday and it’s been filling up quickly.
The last one was the most amazing experience, and I can’t wait for September.
I was wrong. Yay.
Oh, the many things that I am wrong about.
This week: two different occasions where something I had originally assumed had to be a flying shoe turned out to be not a shoe at all. As so often is the case.
What a relief. And a wonderful, useful reminder to find out what someone means before getting hurt.
In the zone! Like you would not believe.
Thanks to ridiculous amounts of Shiva Nata. And to the Deguiltified Chicken Board at my Kitchen Table program.
I used the Chicken Board to get so much done this week. I also turned all the Timbers chants into chicken cheers. Chicken cheers!
… When I root I root for the Chicken!
… We are mental, we are green, we are the greatest Chicken supporters that the world has ever seen!
… Burn, destroy, wreck and kill! Havi’s Chickens bloody will! Whoahhhh! Whoahhhh!
It worked. So much progress was made, and this is a really big deal because I have been so stalled on a number of projects. Action! Destuckifying!
Which lead to massive getting stuff done.
At last week’s Rally (Rally!), I did a lot with the theme of CONGRUENCE (a Hiro-ism).
And this congruence thing combined with Dance of Shiva apparently turns me into some super duper energizer bunny, as it happens.
Because this past week I’ve been singing and bouncing around and generally having more energy for doing stuff in the business than I’ve had in months.
And then I rewrote the Shiva Nata teacher training page, the Shiva Nata about page, edited the entire Playground website and made all sorts of adjustments to this website as well.
Whee! The people.
Most importantly, I replaced my old Is This You page which I’d never liked with Whee the People — something I’ve been wanting to do for two or three years now but was totally stuck on.
Appreciation to @copylicious for the name. And to @Makeness for reminding me of the existence of my Twitter landing page, because then I re-worked that as well.
Kneidelach.
Yum.
Also: thanks for the emergency delivery of farfel and pitzuchim!
How neat is THIS?
The fabulous @blondechicken went and named a yarn after me. And it’s beautiful.
We have heat at the Playground. Finally.
It involved a giant crane and shutting down the entire street, but at least now we don’t need all those space heaters. The ones that trip the circuit breakers that live in our neighbor’s office. Yes.
Deep sign of relief.
So excited for the next Rally!
It’s all about destuckifying patterns to get more done on your projects. We’ll be doing lots of shivanautical flailing (great for beginners and people who have always wanted to try this) and lots of getting stuff done.
I am so ready for this one. Rally!
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week I’m proud to present:
Insufficient Underthings
That’s kind of what they sound like too. Except that it’s really just one guy.
And some of the lovely things I read this week.
- Love this! Somebody make me one.
-
Here is a beautifully true statement:
“Exercise should be joyful movement. It should make you feel good, and free, and powerful.”
-
This piece from @elizabethhalt: I believe in kindness but i was never kind to my body.
-
And Quakebook is here — get a copy and send lots of appreciation to our @sandrajapandra for all she’s done to make this happen.
That’s it for me …
Of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.