The Fluent Self

What's in the gallery?

We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.

What's in the gallery?

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

How many good business ideas am I this blind to?

by Havi Brooks | Dec 7, 2009 | biggification

This is important, guys.

Because it happens everywhere. All the time.

And I’m not always around to catch it.

Okay. Here’s what happened.

Someone in my Kitchen Table program was working on getting used to the idea of biggifying a new product-ey thing she has. Awesome. And we’ve been helping her.

Let’s call her Person One.

She got all excited and wanted to give the product to her fellow Kitcheners as a thank you for the “space and support and kindness” we’ve given her so consistently and lovingly.

Which is super generous.

And all of us jumped in and said oooh oooh oooh, can you do a 2-for-1 deal instead so that we can still support your thing as well as you giving us a cool present?

That’s not the story. That’s the background.

The important part is coming up.

When smallification gets in the way of a really good idea.

People loved the 2-for-1 idea because Person One’s products are so cool that it was really hard for people to decide which to get.

So another wonderful person (Person Two!) thought of a way to help Person One make it easier for people to decide.

It was a terrific idea, but … it was kinda sorta related to a new class Person Two was about to teach.

Person Two was so afraid we were going to think that she was promoting her class(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww, right?), that she went totally overboard to assure us that she wasn’t.

In fact, she very nearly didn’t mention her idea for helping Person One at all.

Sometimes mentioning your thing helps someone else with their thing.

Me:

Hellooooooooooooooo? You guys? Cross-freaking-promotion?

Person Two, I don’t know how much your class costs, but it would be a really cool offer (assuming you asked Person One and she thought it was a good idea) to have some sort of VIP version.

Which could come with Person One’s product, and then you could build it in to the price and pay Person One however much she wanted for it.

Then more people hear about Person One’s amazing thing.

And you get to give a goody bag that will actually HELP your people get the results you want them to get.

And it makes your thing look even more appealing and people get addicted to Person One’s wonderful creation.

Person Two, I’m seeing you being so careful to not seem like you’re “self-promoting” that you’re maybe overlooking what could totally be a genius win-win-win-win-win kind of thing. Am I wrong?

I mean, even if neither of you want to do something like this in this particular case, this is still exactly the WAY we want to be thinking in business, right?

And when we’re not trying to stay tiny, we get to help other people more.

Person Two:

omg! Havi! You are such biggified smartness!

STARING US TOTALLY IN THE FACE.

Good grief, how many good business ideas am I this blind to?

Exactly.

How many indeed? And not just ideas and opportunities that Person Two specifically is accidentally missing out on. All of us.

The wanting to hide part isn’t bad. But the hiding itself? Not so good.

The kind of people I hang out with really, really, really don’t want to be all self-promotional.

And I get that. Hell, I support that. It’s even on my dammit list. Gross. Who wants to be all promotional? Bleaaaaaaargh.

But if the thing you are mentioning is going to help someone else, you’re not “promoting” yourself. You’re promoting the general well-being of the people who get to benefit from your thing.

You’re making sure that your Right People are getting what they need, whether that’s acknowledgement and support or an actual thing that could help them.

You’re not forcing it on them. You’re just reminding them that it’s there.

And you’re being a connector mouse. Which is a total freaking mitzvah, as far as I’m concerned.

The ways we can make life better for our Right People are pretty much everywhere.

And sometimes we try so hard to stay small and unobtrusive (because we don’t want people to think we’re asshats and throw shoes at us) that we miss them.

When you give yourself that kind of … basic permission to exist (it’s the sovereignty thing again), you’re strong.

And then you see what your options are. Because you’re not looking at them from the perspective of being tiny and smooshable anymore.

How many good business ideas am I this blind to? I don’t know. But I’m going to be paying attention.

Comment zen for today …

Oh yes. We all have stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We’re practicing.

Very Personal Ads #23: In which I say Zoooooooooooooom

by Havi Brooks | Dec 6, 2009 | stuff I think about

Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do it.

Thing 1: back-up!

Here’s what I want:

So my Biggification 2010 program filled up before I even got around to announcing it, officially or otherwise.

And my Destuckification Retreat has one spot left (?!), after it was briefly Item!ized the other day.*

Which is brilliant. Thank you, Very Personal Ads of Sundays past.

What I want now is a back-up list. Because some people may not make it past the final interview stage.

And you can pretty much count on someone having to cancel for whatever reason.

* Note to self: add “Item!ized” to the glossary of Fluent-Self-isms. Along with Havilanche.

Ways this could work:

I could ask my First Mate to set up a waiting list.

Maybe there is some elegant red velvet ropiness that could happen there too.

Some other, better idea could come to me.

My commitment.

I will be madly appreciative of all the amazing people who want to be a part of my stuff.

And I will try to set up my systems in such a way that it’s really clear what to do and how it works.

I will do a little jig.

Thing 2: Some time off. In a regular sort of way.

Here’s what I want:

I want to go back to taking the day off on Wednesday.

Admittedly, this was only ever a theoretical construct but what the hell. It was one I kind of liked. Even if never actually happened.

Here’s how I want this to work:

The power of logic.

Since I often teach classes on the weekend, I don’t really have a weekend. But I forget that, since I don’t do work-work (i.e. in front of the Infernal Machine) on weekends.

It is time for me to really, truly, not-just-theoretically start counting teaching as work-work, and to insist on a weekend in the middle of the week.

I’m ready to start assimilating this new definition of work-work, and to notice when I start to marginalize what I do just because I happen to enjoy it.

My commitment.

To make this a high-priority thing.

To ask for deguiltified reminders from my gentleman friend and the group leaders at the Kitchen Table.

To schedule a few non-work-ey things on Wednesdays that are purely enjoyable, so that I don’t accidentally slip while I’m getting acclimated to this new pattern.

To be patient with myself. It may be a long time coming, but it’s still a big, symbolic shift and I am allowed to take my time with it.

To not let people lecture me about how I should have done this earlier or how it’s so obvious that work-work is a broad thing. Or whatever. I don’t have to be lectured.

Thing 3: I have a thank you

Here’s what it is.

I don’t know if you guys remember this but a while back I had an ask for my Sacramento Biggification Day.

Specifically, I wanted Right People for it who were awesome. The program filled up within a day or two, and pretty soon we had a waiting list as well.

What I didn’t realize though was just how right those Right People were.

This is basically the best thing in the entire world.

So I teach about the Right People thing all the time, but the reality of it is still mind-boggling.

On Friday I had the pleasure of spending the day with some of the brightest, kind-hearted-est, silliest right people in the history of right people.

I genuinely adored every single person there, and they all got on fabulously with each other.

The amazing thing was that it was only one day — and still by the end of it there were all these beautiful friendships.

And everyone was completely committed to biggifying each other up in a sincere, loving, hey-we’re-in-this-together sort of way.

Thank you, right people. Thank you, concept of Right People.

To everyone who came (from London, Chicago, New Jersey, Tucson, Seattle, Portland and all over California) to spend one day with me:

I like you so much. And I believe in you so much.

To the idea that I am allowed (and maybe even required) to work with the kind of people that I like being around — people who get me and like me, wow.

You have changed my life, you crazy, sweet little conceptual thing.

Thank you!

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

The update on what’s happened since last time.

Really, really good news!

First off: I wanted help getting through the fog.

And I ended up getting in the zone (thanks to a combination of a brilliant session with Hiro and doing some Shiva Nata).

I got more done in two days than I’ve managed in months. Zoooooooooooooom. It was fantastic.

Thanks to those two days of mad accomplishings, I was able to brunch thricely, which was lovely.

I also wanted sovereignty help with my difficult situations. It feels better. Does that count?

Way less upset, at any rate. Getting the monies from one person and still waiting on the other. But am over being hurt. That’s the extra-important thing. I’m still committed to doing what it takes to get the monies.

The other thing I brought up was my holiday list of businesses I’d like to see biggify. And I can’t really report on that yet because who knows. But time will tell.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. 🙂

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

Reality theories.
Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
To be judged or psychoanalyzed.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.

Friday Chicken #70: thrice brunched!

by Havi Brooks | Dec 4, 2009 | updates & announcements

Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

Selma and I are in Sacramento because ~~one never goes to Sacramento without a good reason~~ we got flown out to teach a seminar.

And we’re also doing our Mad Biggification Day there today. Huzzah. We’re probably doing something goofy and transformational right this second. Awesome.

On to the week.

The hard stuff

Doing way too many things at once.

Having one new program (Biggification 2010), one old program (the Kitchen Table) and an enormous retreat all being announced at the same time is big.

A lot of big.

Every single element in the big is good. The combination of elements of big is hard. EXTREMELY hard.

I have been learning stuff. Oof. Stupid learning.

Luckily Hiro has helped me with the preserving sanity part, and reminding me to access the fun parts.

Because otherwise I would have torn my hair out instead of just chopping at it.

Oh, dear.

This is more funny-hard than hard-hard. I gave myself one of my patented Haircuts of Despair and chopped a few inches.

Now I’m wearing braids until I get used to this. And I look like I’m twelve years old.

For some reason I always do this right before a live teaching event — pretty much the worst time to do it. So yeah.

Conclusions.

Other people jumping to them. Blame and meanness.

Administrative nightmares.

So I suck at math. But even if I didn’t.

I have a hundred people on the waiting list for the Kitchen Table. And figuring out who’s staying and who’s going … is more complicated than I’d thought.

We ended up doing an anonymous survey (which was helpful) and making some Useful Procedures for next year, but that totally added to the hard.

I hate launching stuff almost as much as I hate the word ‘launch’.

From now on I’m calling it brunch instead of launch, like Tara the Blonde Chicken does.

Either way, it’s sooooooo much work.

I know I already put this in the hard, but it really belongs here twice. At least. Because I was brunching three different things at once.

Which is absurd.

All those tiny last minute details. Overwhelming and exhausting.

Travel! Again!

Grumble-grumble-busy-grumble.

The good stuff

Thrice brunched!

Despite the fact that as late as Sunday morning I wasn’t sure if we could pull any of it off this week, by Monday evening we were good to go.

Thanks to some Hiro magic and some Shivanautical epiphanies, I was in the zone.

Everything got done. Everything worked. It was brilliant.

Also thanks to Amna for much support, cheering, hand-holding and the delightful phrase “thrice brunched”, which really needs to go on a shirt or something.

Oh, how I love being right.

I especially like being foolhardy and right.

It’s such a pleasurable drug that someone should just go ahead and put it in pill form.

So part of my brunching madness has been related to me bucking conventional wisdom at every turn.

I kind of do that anyway, as my modus operandi, so I’m generally confident that it will work.

But it’s still really scary when every single person you know tells you that it takes 9–12 months to promote and fill a retreat. And you’re planning on announcing yours maybe six weeks before it happens.

I haven’t promoted anything. Just told my clients and briefly mentioned its existence in the Item post. And almost all the spots at the Destuckification Retreat are taken.

Or, for example, people said I needed to write copy explaining why someone would want to do Biggification 2010, since, you know, it’s a year-long program and a very substantial financial investment. Blah blah benefits.

I didn’t. Because I didn’t feel like it.

And because the whole point of using the stuff I teach to biggify yourself in a mindful way is that you get to the point where you don’t have to convince people of stuff.

And? We already have more applications than we know what to do with. Bombarded.

It’s not like I wouldn’t keep doing things my way anyway, because I would. But being justified in blowing off everyone’s advice is such a great feeling.

Best/weirdest promotion ever.

In addition to all the other weird things I did at the Kitchen Table, I promised a loaf of my famous no-sugar hand-made bread to the first ten people who renewed their membership.

Which means I got to have the best baking day ever.

I put on The Clash (London Calling). And I put on my skull and crossbones apron. And got absolutely covered in flour.

Fun!

Got a big project taken care of.

Completely rewrote the Kitchen Table member mice Guidebook, which took forever and a half, but still not as long as I was afraid it might.

And then made a 12-part Twitter-length version in case no one actually ends up reading it.

I amuse myself.

Foods. Again with the foods.

My gentleman friend made a green tomato salsa that is out of this world. Tomatoes courtesy of the Hoppy House garden. Yay!

He also made this crazy (but delicious) spicy yellow pita bread. Turmeric pita. With peppers. This later became the famous turmeric … rolls.*

*Ah, yes. See the fake band of the week at the bottom of the post for details.

Plus now we’re in Sacramento so we can eat sandwiches at Dad’s Cafe. Yum! Yes, I agreed to teach a seminar because of the sandwiches.

Slings & Arrows.

I met Marcie last year in Austin at SXSW at Sarah‘s party. I like Marcie.

And she recommended this short-lived Canadian television series called Slings & Arrows. Highly. Very.

And when Marcie recommends, I track that stuff down.

It is excellent. So completely to my tastes. My gentleman friend likes it too. This may even begin to rival our mysterious Black Books obsession.

This was nice.

Me: “Hey, someone on Twitter thinks I’m funny and sweet. See? See?”

The gentleman friend:

“Yeah, I like how you’re funny and sweet too, but I really like how you’re dark and mean.”

Oh, he totally gets it.

Derby banner! Derby banner!

I already told you guys that I’m sponsoring my favorite Roller Derby team, right?

Well, sponsoring it as a Shivanaut, hoping to promote mad coordination epiphany-generating techniques while I’m at it. But basically I just want to throw support at the self-proclaimed gayest team in Derby.

Because Selma and I love the Guns N Rollers!

Anyway, the banner arrived. You can’t tell how hot it is from the picture, but I’ll put it in anyway.

And … playing live at the meme beach house!

Yes, that’s a Stuism too.

My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”

This week it’s all about …

The Turmeric Rolls

They are, of course, best known for their cover of that one song.

Oh. Worst. Pun. Ever.

And … STUISMS of the week.

Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who delights in ~~torturing me~~ misunderstanding me. I can’t stand him.

“but the bird magnifiers or stop at an international start” instead of but the word biggifier is not without a dash of snark
“it’s a 20 inch of explaining how Maine chokes” instead of it’s one big in-joke explaining all my in-jokes
“I’m in a Henneman for kicks” instead of going to hate on me for this
“he starred in a concerning landless trend” instead of I started a disturbing lentil list trend
“Week stew zooms of the weak” instead of Stuisms of the week

That’s it for me …

And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.

Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.

The Glossary! It makes your hair all shiny.

by Havi Brooks | Dec 3, 2009 | ask Havi

Right.

So Fizz — who is @relsqui on Twitter (you know, the neighborhood bar/cafe place where I’m pretty much always hanging out) — said a wonderfully true thing the other day:

“Reading @havi’s blog the first time is like reading a message in code.

It takes a couple of posts to internalize the vocabulary.”

Ahhhhhhhh. I totally loved this because … yes.

One of the fun things here is the shared language, and that you guys let me get away with all sorts of things without having to explain them. Eventually, you’re in on all the jokes and the wackiness anyway.

So why not have a glossary? I mean, what the hell. That way when you send people here, they can look up at least some of the weird stuff I say. Or see how many Fluent-Self-ified bits of Havi-speak they already know.

Asshat

This one isn’t mine, actually.

It’s a great word. Though not as good as webcock.

I generally use it to describe the kind of people who throw shoes (see also: Shoes, Throwing of).

And I probably got it from the Communicatrix.

Biggification

The art and science of growing your thing (the thing!).

And of getting your thing (the thing!) into the hands of your Right People without feeling icky or weird about it.

When I say I’m helping someone biggify, it might mean that my duck (see also: Selma) and I are helping them promote or get the word out about something, but in a non-gross way.

A person who is biggified is someone with platform. And reach. And sparkles.

Generally, biggification = good. I talk a lot about mindful biggification which is what happens when you biggify while working on your stuff. (see also: Stuff)

The word biggifier, on the other hand, has been known to come with a dash of snark.

Ooh. Dash of Snark! It’s just one guy! (See also: It’s just one guy).

Like the internet-ey biggifiers who try to get us to think big think big think big. Whatever. I think it’s okay to not have to think that big.

Dammit list

The dammit list is your list of things you stand for (see also: Sovereignty).

“I am going to wear excessively fuzzy socks, dammit!”

“I don’t have to explain why I need a dammit list, dammit!”

Other dammit list posts: revisiting the dammit list and more ways to use the dammit list.

Destuckification

Working through the stucknesses that get in the way of you doing your thing (you know, the thing!).

Destuckifying is what you’re doing when you’re learning about triggers. Or talking to the fog. Or giving yourself permission to not have to practice “transparency”.

Sometimes it’s figuring out how not to feel like dirt. Maybe because you don’t want anyone to look at you. Or you accidentally gave your monster a cookie and it was, weirdly, the wrongest thing to do, even though lots of other monsters like cookies.

Or using my wacky methods if you’re a Shivanaut (see also: Shivanaut), or if you own my emergency calming techniques package.

It’s applying the stuff that Selma and I teach so that you can have a conscious, intelligent relationship with yourself and the world around you. So that your stuff (see also: Stuff) doesn’t have to hurt so much.

Email sabbatical

The best thing that has ever happened to me. (See also: No, seriously. I don’t do email.)

Fake Band of the Week

This is something we do every Friday on the Chicken. (See also: Friday Chicken)

My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”

That’s it. It’s stupid but it’s addictive.

Stupid But Addictive. It’s just one guy. See? Like that. Only funnier. You’ll get used to it.

Friday Chicken

Our weekly check-in, which I started calling a Chicken. Mostly because my gentleman friend made me this awesome chicken graphic.

You know, because rituals are important.*

This is where I talk about the hard stuff and the good stuff in my week and people join in, and eventually the whole thing devolves into extreme goofiness.

* That might be the first post where I said “blame the Jews!” Ah, nostalgia. Also, I don’t eat the chicken. Selma and I are vegetarians.

So this, for example, is a Friday Chicken.

Fansocks

About a year and a half ago I bought some stockings for Naomi. From Sock Dreams. The joke was that we were so obsessed with each other that we were … stalking each other.

So these were … stalkings. Striped stalkings to wear on your legs. Yes, jokes are so much more funny when you explain them in elaborate detail to someone who doesn’t care, do you not find that to be so?

Anyway, we talked a lot about how fansocks (or fan-socks, if you prefer) are the coolest thing ever.

And then random people started knitting them for me. And making scarves for my duck because she doesn’t have feet. Never mind.

It’s just one guy

HSP

Highly Sensitive Person.

That would be me.

This term is also not mine. It comes from Elaine Aron‘s book The Highly Sensitive Person, which probably wasn’t meant to be a biography of me or anything.

But reading it was really helpful. And HSP has become a kind of short-hand for sensitive flower introvert-ey people.

It’s why I don’t go to (ew) networking events. And why that gets a place of honor on my dammit list.

NVC

I really don’t like acronyms. But I love NVC.

Nonviolent Communication (aka compassionate communication) has been a total freaking lifesaver.

Meme Beach House

The original reference is to when Stu (See also: Stuisms) translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to people will hang at my meme beach house.

Now it’s become (in my mind, yes?) the venue where my Fake Band of the Week plays its non-existent gigs. Except that it turns out it’s a real place.

My Gentleman Friend

That’s my partner in ~~crime~~ everything. There is backstory to why I call him that, but it’s not that interesting.

Right People

The people your thing is for. Even if they don’t know it yet.

People that you actually like. And they like you. A lot. This is totally not the hippie word for “target market” because blech. I kind of write about this all the time.

» Update: Right People re-explained

Selma

Selma is a rockstar. She is the only duck I know who can reasonably be described that way. She’s also my business partner.

Shivanauts

People who practice Dance of Shiva or Shiva Nata, in Sanskrit.
Shivanautical = anything that describes the process of Shiva-ing it up (aka doing Shiva Nata).

Example: “Man I had some crazy shivanautical epiphanies this week. Now I know why I flip out whenever that one asshat at work throws a shoe at me.”

Shoes, the throwing of (also known as shoe-throwing)

It’s what happens when people say hurtful things out of nowhere. It sucks.

Also, it’s really hard to destuckify when shoe-throwing is happening. Hence the sovereignty thing. (See also: Sovereignty)

Sovereignty

Sovereignty is the state of not giving a damn what people think because you are the king or queen of your life. I got this from Hiro.

Smartnesses

The thoughtful, insightful things that we sometimes come up with, usually after some sort of … shivanautical epiphany.

Stuism

Stu is my stupid, paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software. His name is short for work, you Stupid piece of crap!

A Stuism is anything that he says. I collect the most egregious of these for your amusement and put them in the Friday Chicken.

Stuff, yours

You know, your stuff. Your issues.

The stuckified patterns that cause us to lose our sense of sovereignty and sometimes to think people are throwing shoes at us even when they aren’t. And yeah, sometimes they are.

Stucknesses

(See: Stuff)

Tfu tfu tfu

That’s me spitting three times to avoid the evil eye.

The Twitter Bar

Where you can buy me a drink. I’m @havi. Kazoo!

Very Personal Ads

Also known as the VPA. Though that wasn’t my idea, obviously, since you already know that I have a thing about not liking acronyms.

It’s where we practice getting more comfortable with asking for stuff.

Phew. That was the glossary.

I really need to stop making up words because this post is way too long.

Also: The meta. It hurts.

Ooh, and there are four words in the glossary that aren’t mine: let the guessing (or the counting) begin.

Item! I started a disturbing lentil list trend!

by Havi Brooks | Dec 2, 2009 | stuff I think about

Fluent Self Item! A somewhat goofy mini-collection of stuff I’ve been reading, stuff I’ve been thinking about and oh, some completely random crap.

Basically the stuff that never gets mentioned here because I’m not the kind of person who can just make some teeny little point. Not into the whole brevity thing, as the Dude would say.

Actually, I’m under the strict compulsion to write ten pages about anything on my mind. So this is me. Practicing brevity.

Yep. Hi.

Item! Post No. 43 in a once-a-week series that makes more sense when you’ve been reading this blog for a while, or at least I hope it does.

Item! I’m not the only one who has issues with Thanksgiving.

You all know how I feel. And you read my list of 77 Things (that don’t completely suck).

Waverly Fitzgerald, favorite everything of mine, wrote a terrific, very thoughtful Thanksgiving Rant about seasons, family, meaning and other interesting things.

“If I say I have nothing planned, I am assumed to be an ‘orphan’ and in need of a family to take me in. If I say I am fixing dinner and my questioner has no plans, they will expect to be included.”

Worth reading.

The ever-hilarious Cairene wrote her own list of 77 lentils. And Christina wrote her list of 45 Things That Don’t Make Me Gnash My Teeth (based on how many pills there were in her bottle of Aleve).

And Amy from Barefoot Phoenix wrote a beautiful one too (and now I need to book it to Seattle to visit Helle which basically sounds like the best place in the entire world).

Awesome.

They’re on the Twitters: @waverlyfitz, @thirdhandworks, @toopretty4this, and @barefootphoenix.

Item! A marvelous interview

I am a fan of Susan Marie Swanson, who is a lovely, lovely person and who wrote The House In The Night, among other wonderful things.

This interview with her is a joy.

“Oh, let’s have Astrid Lindgren (1907-2002) over to the house for a soup supper and local beer–and then have friends and neighbors stop by for cake. Yes, let’s do that.”

I love the internet for so many reasons, but that it brought me and Susan Marie together is definitely way up there on my list of happy.

She’s @susan_marie on Twitter.

Item! The Ninja Text Generator!

Speaking of happy.

I don’t have much to say about this other than ohmygod, there is a ninja text generator.

Of course there is.

And yet I am decidedly relieved to know that it exists. Huzzah!

I’m pretty sure I got to this through Susan Marie too, though I could be wrong.

Item! A most excellent Very Personal Ad.

My collection of Very Personal Ads inspired by my wacky Sunday tradition is growing.

This one is just sweet.

Since her Right People are basically like mine, except that they think I’m kind of nutty.

“You might be one of Havi’s right people. Or, if you’re not, you probably could be, if she came with a little less woo, or if you’d heard of her before.”

Nice!

She’s @williehewes on Twitter.

Item! Airport etiquette: is it a thing? I don’t know.

This stream-of-consciousness bit is from Karen, whom I met at Barbara Sher‘s retreat.

Karen is a total goofball, which is something I highly approve of. Reading this bit of slapstick puts her voice in my head again.

“I laughed (again – I seem to love to laugh on airplanes) and reminded him of the obvious: he hadn’t done a thing – I was the one who clumsily whacked my head.

Then I went to sit down – and whacked my head again. “

She’s @squarepegkaren on Twitter.

Item! To thine own self be true …

And other difficulties.

This is a piece about what happens when we let other people’s feedback decide what’s true for us.

“So I’ve been on a tear the last several months learning a tremendous amount of useful business information from a variety of experts, trying to learn and adapt and absorb as quickly as I can.

And suddenly, the other day, when I got so upset, I realized that somewhere along the way, I had relinquished my sovereignty, made my own opinion too secondary, and ended up looking for too much validation outside of me.”

Mmmmhmmmm.

She’s @Sarah_Bush on Twitter.

Item! Hurrah for the chicken. Hurrah for the egg.

A marvelous piece from Maira Kalman.

Hurrah for the egg indeed. Oh, this is beautiful.

Item! Tactical Nuclear Penguin!

That fabulously controversial Scottish brewery (BrewDog) has come out with what is apparently the world’s strongest beer. Alcohol content?

32%

I used to work in a homebrew store many, many years ago. On our breaks, this is the kind of stuff we used to imagine happening in a far-off universe.

That’s not the point.

The point is that it’s called Tactical Nuclear Penguin.*

*Uh … it’s just one guy?

If that doesn’t make you happy, I honestly don’t know what will.

Hat tip to @beervana.

Item! I must have this.

But where would I get one?

Via @sockwalker on Twitter.

Item! Update from the land of the Peculiar & Hilarious Shivanauts!

The “peculiar and hilarious” thing comes from Melynda’s sweet bit about Butterfly Wishes.

I wrote about some realizations and epiphanies. Of the shivanautical variety. Notes from my practice. Fragments. Stuff.

Item! The retreat I haven’t announced yet is more than half full.

At least take a look before it sells out and I take the page down.

Because mmmm, pretty. Seven days of mad destuckification. Worthy of exclamation points.

Item! Comments! Here’s what I want this time:

Things you’re thinking about.
What I should be reading on the plane to Sacramento.

My commitment.
I am committed to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible for me.

Even though asking for what I want still feels awkward for me, I’m just going to remind myself that this is a thing I’m practicing.

That is all.

Happy reading.

And happy Blustery Windsday. See you tomorrow.

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