What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Item! Pumpkin Head McMuffin Muffin?
A somewhat goofy mini-collection of stuff I’ve been reading, stuff I’ve been thinking about and oh, some completely random crap.
Basically the stuff that never gets mentioned here because I’m not the kind of person who can just make some teeny little point. Not into the whole brevity thing, as the Dude would say.
Actually, I’m under the strict compulsion to write ten pages about anything on my mind. So this is me. Practicing brevity.
Ah, yes. The first Items of 2010.
Bright and sparkly and covered in snow. Or something like that.
Item! Post No. 48 in a series that doesn’t have to make sense — ever — but meets some sort of need of mine for something, or at least we all hope it does.
Item! The relationship between creativity and trust.
Selma and I have been enjoying Dave Rowley’s blog which is called Creative Chai.
“… for me the itch is about wanting to impress people with what I create.
Actually, I think it’s more about not wanting to embarrass myself with what I create.
Bleah, even more than that, it’s about not wanting to create something that will start up that voice inside my head: the voice that doesn’t trust in my ability to create; that decides I have no right to be creating stuff, that labels the things I create ‘irrelevant’.”
Also he has one of the most swoon-worthy Twitter bios in the entire world:
Creativity elf, shivanaut, wobbly yoga bloke.
He’s @creativechai on Twitter.
Item! An amazing job application.
Okay, so sending a paper resume is already remarkable, these days.
But the cover letter on this one was titled College graduate sends resume via snail mail on purpose.
“Ironically, we were able to reach Hazan in regards to this story via email. When asked why she chose this antiquated means of communication, she told us she was having trouble stealing her neighbor’s internet that week and had read about the US Postal Service in a book.”
The response?
“We weren’t even hiring, but the letter was so great we had to grab her before someone else did.”
That’s @sernovitz on Twitter. I’m pretty sure I got to this via @treelizard.
Item! The poem. Or maybe it’s an essay. I don’t care.
This knocked me out.
When I made my little joke of making Zombie Yule a Jewish thing by wishing Happy Erev Zombie Yule, I went looking for a good link to explain it and didn’t find one.
See, Erev is the evening before — it’s when our holidays actually start. Like Christmas Eve, except that we have everything eve.
Anyway.
I didn’t end up finding a good way to explain it. But I did find this piece. And it just ripped right through me. Which doesn’t happen very often.
“But erev. Erev surpasses evening in every sense.
Erev is a gasp, the gala apple skin point-of-tooth-contact, pre-bite. It is the toppling wavering of a too-slow bike mount, the anticipatory moment before jumping off.
Erev is the pre-, the almost, the nearly, potential energy so volatile it almost glows. “
Temima Fruchter. That’s who wrote it. I think I love her.
I don’t know what to say to make you read the whole thing. Just do it. For me.
Item! Quality hating. Again!
I haven’t seen Avatar. And, let’s be honest, if it hadn’t been for the New Yorker, I probably wouldn’t even have heard of it before coming across this in The Hater column.
But I’m still somehow not surprised that James Cameron said something like this:
“Our biggest challenge right now is letting females, in either younger or older quadrants, understand that this is a movie for them as well.”
Or that Amelie wouldn’t let him get away with it. Oh, Amelie. Your hating is of the highest possible quality and I appreciate that.
“Aww, yeah. Females in any and all of the quadrants, James Cameron is making speech patterns at your auditory processing centers.
Please point your ocular receptors at Avatar. It is for your variation of the species as well. End Marketing Transmission.”
Item! Mr. Pants takes off the pants. Again.
A refreshingly honest post (really, would you expect anything else?) from my favorite Sparky Firepants (Mr. Pants!) about success.
And money.
And how we talk about it and relate to it.
Or don’t.
“Money is sweet. It’s awesome. I like money. A lot. Have you ever had money toasted with peanut butter? It’s a tasty treat.
Money is not success. It can be part of success but it’s not the whole lunchbox.”
You should read it. Good stuff.
He’s @sparkyfirepants on Twitter.
Item! Someone else’s confessional.
The wonderful Fi (full disclosure: I am a fan!) wrote this great post about … everything, kind of.
About art, depression, perfectionism, new beginnings and how they all relate to each other.
And because Fi wrote it, it’s smart, funny, interesting and goes to unexpected places.
“Maybe it was all those years of New Year’s Eve parties where you spent all evening angling to be next to some guy you fancied come midnight, only to find he’d gone to the loo when it came round and your chance of a New Year’s snog was gone for another 12 months.
Whatever, New Year’s Eve gets on my tits, and we mostly ignore it.”
She also uses the phrase “fakey authentic”. I love her.
She’s @FiBowman on Twitter.
Item! Ease.
Nice post from Larisa on how to bring some ease into the holiday season.
I know we’re mostly over with the holiday-ing, but there is usefulness in here and you should read it because it’s about using your body to categorize your list.
Which is terrific.
“Looking at my list, I was surprised to realize the idea of hosting a small party was actually very appealing to me while attending events felt like a huge, heavy chore.
Also, while my heart does feel really happy when thinking about giving gifts to loved ones, the pressure I was putting on myself to make them a certain way (thoughtful, unique, meaningful, perfect) was taking away any joy I felt in giving. “
She’s @LarisaKoehn on Twitter.
Item! Update from the land of the Peculiar & Hilarious Shivanauts!
The “peculiar and hilarious” thing comes from Melynda’s sweet bit about Butterfly Wishes.
Terrific guest post on the Shiva Nata blog from Briana called Truth elixir, nude dreams, realizations, just being.
Actually, it’s not really a guest post. It’s me posting an amazing letter. With permission.
I’d put in a quote as a teaser but good grief, there are nude dreams in it. Isn’t that enough? Click on the damn link already! 🙂
She’s @BrianaAldrich on Twitter.
Item! Comments! Here’s what I want this time:
- Things you’re thinking about.
- You can help me name my imaginary cat! Well, my down-the-street-a-few-blocks neighbor’s cat that I pretend secretly wants to live with me.
So not actually imaginary.
More like star-crossed lovers. I’ve been calling him Pumpkin Head McMuffin Muffin. Which seems to work.
But while I’m playing make believe that a. I have a cat, b. my landlord would let me have a cat, c. that I don’t travel all the time for teaching which makes the cat thing impossible anyway, you can namestorm with me.
My commitment.
I am committed to giving time and thought to the things that people say. Even though asking for what I want still feels awkward for me, I’m just going to remind myself that this is a thing I’m practicing.
That is all.
Happy reading.
And happy Blustery (but hoping for Balmy) Windsday. See you tomorrow.
Selma the Duck and The Big Day Off
One rainy Portland morning* Selma and Havi decided to take the day off.
* It might possibly have been a Toozday.
It was all Selma’s decision since Havi wasn’t willing to talk about it.
Havi didn’t want to get out of bed. Havi didn’t want to be cheered up. Havi didn’t want to discuss options.
And she definitely didn’t want to do any work.
But even non-work stuff? No.
She didn’t want to do her fabulously wacky morning rituals. Or her slow Old Turkish Lady morning yoga practice, which is her favorite thing.
Or do her ten minutes of Shivanautical flailing to generate some deep tranquility with a couple hot buttered epiphanies on the side.
She also didn’t want to write a blog post. Or do anything, really.
Selma thinks that’s okay. But Havi wasn’t buying it.
Selma made the call. She and Havi’s gentleman friend presented a united front of “okay sweetie this is what we’re going to do”-ness.
They promised that if she’d get out of bed and agree to go outside, they’d let her wear the good rainpants. She’s easy that way.
Taking a day off is the hard.
Supposedly, it’s one of the perks of running your own company and theoretically it is a lovely notion, but hahahahahaha we know it doesn’t work like that.
Selma and Havi’s gentleman friend can point out as much as they’d like that Havi’s website has been around for four and a half years.
That nothing is going to shrivel up and die if she doesn’t get to it today.
That her people know about her quest to take more time to herself and they get it and they’re awesome.
There are shoulds.
So many, in fact, that it’s kind of overwhelming.
About how people need you.
About commitments you have made that are waiting on you.
About the giant what-ifs and the times that you have neglected things before to disastrous consequences. Which are admittedly sometimes kind of hilarious in hindsight but dude not this time.
About how you can’t just let your comment moderators delete someone’s comment because they know it will annoy you.
That you’re supposed to engage with people. Triple especially when people ultimately have good intentions. That you’ve always done it before and you could do it now.
And there is the question of capacity.
Mental bandwidth.
Emotional bandwidth.
Various assorted sovereignty-related things.
How many things can you deal with in a day? How many things can you deal with tomorrow?
When do you say this is enough. Or this is not important enough for me to be agonizing over it right now.
When do you say I live in Portland and I really need some rainpants dammit.
Havi and Selma are spending a day in the rain.
Drinking warm drinks.
Sitting in a cafe while the Gentleman Friend tries to make them laugh.
Splashing in puddles.
Possibly buying new gloves.
Not doing anything important. Which, weirdly, is really, really important right now.
Havi is practicing this new thing. And taking her duck for a walk. But only because her duck insisted.
Comment zen for today.
You can cheer for Havi. You can make her a tea or offer a hug. You can wish her good things. Or share stories of your own.
As always, anyone who tries to give Havi advice is getting a swift kick to the shins. Fair warning.
Very Personal Ads #27: who’s coming to play?
Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do it.
Thing 1: Recovery time.
Here’s what I want:
The last two weeks have been so outrageously hectic that all I can do is shake my head and say hmmmmm. Though sometimes it’s more like a harrumph.
Anyway.
I want some relaxation. Not the “now I’m sick so I have to stay in bed” kind either.
Ways this could work:
Something spa-ish? Like a massage?
Or no emergencies this week?
I don’t know. But I’m open to stuff shifting on this.
My commitment.
To pay attention to my patterns. To remember that my stuff does not define the whole of who I am.
To do Dance of Shiva when I get stuckified. To ask for help. To notice things. To remind myself how much better everything is when I’m rested.
Thing 2: A bunch of new Shivanauts to play with
Here’s what I want:
To grow the community. More people to discuss epiphanies with. To play with.
To do shivanautical wackiness together.
Ways this could work:
More people deciding to play with the Starter Kit, hang out on the blog, offer bits of interestingness for me to post about …
Selma and I might also do a small teacher-training this year that’s not really for teachers but more an excuse to hang out and Shiva it up to incredibly inappropriate music, and journal and move and rest.
A wild rumpus training. WIth epiphanies. Whooo!
My commitment.
To give this time. All of it.
To trust. To wait. To have fun with it. To practice.
And of course to hang out on Pearl’s blog and the new Shiva Nata Group Blog and other places that are fun.
Thing 3: Clarity
Here’s what I want:
I have a stuckified thing that I don’t want to talk about. I’m like Cher in Moonstruck. Much gesturing with the hands on this one.
I don’t want to talk about it!
And this particular stuckness is showing up in my body too.
I want … movement, insight, clearing-up of things not working.
Ways this could work:
Not entirely sure. But I will keep talking to my walls.
And being patient.
My commitment.
To be open to unexpectednesses.
To reach out when I’m ready.
To talk to some of the exceptionally wise people I know about this.
To cut myself some slack.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
My gentleman friend and I managed a morning walk (what I’d asked for) every single day.
Except for Wednesday, which was a ridiculously hellish day anyway, and we did manage to get out in the afternoon.
Hugely happy about that.
Didn’t do too much with tax prep stuff but what did get done was very useful. And I’ve been getting lots of help from my new bookkeeper.
And no, I did not buy flowers for Hoppy House.
But I did think about it a couple times. And, despite all my stuff about how spending money on anything non-business-related is “extravagant” and bad, went out and bought the most stunningly gorgeous lamp in the entire world.
Which should count for something. Because it’s filling Hoppy House with light and happiness. And I like those things.
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.
Thanks for doing this with me!
Friday Chicken #74: tipsy snow angel edition
Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I know we chickened already just yesterday, but this one is just for this week, and therefore slightly less traumatic, she types hopefully.
Hi.
Quite a week. A crappy, miserable, stupid week. For the most part.
But we made it. Yay. Also: Happy New Year!
The hard stuff
2009 having its way with me. Again.
On Wednesday I posted this at the bar on Twitter:
Gah. Worst day in the world? Apparently this is 2009 saying don’t let the door smack you on the ass on the way out.
And it seriously felt like that.
Discovering an impossibly huge tangle of administrative chaos that was totally all my fault.
Seven hundred anxiety attacks followed by tossing out all the other important stuff clamoring for attention and profuse apologizing to everyone else whose day I accidentally destroyed.
Lovely.
Seriously I was ready all week for this year of hard to be over. Come on, symbolic new beginnings!
Sleep stuff.
I don’t know if it’s the full moon or the crazy transitioning or a week of doing soul accounting, but the sleep was not happy.
Lots of thrashing and nightmares and not good.
Winter.
I kind of turn into a cranky, scaly-skinned hag.
Snow triggering … more stuff.
I can appreciate snow.
It’s pretty. My gentleman friend and I both work from home so it’s not like we have to go out in it unless we feel like it.
And everything we need is in walking distance. So that part is all good.
It’s just … something about watching it fall sets off old memories of old things and my heart tightens.
More things to work on.
The good stuff
This transitional period both literally and symbolically ending.
… and a new one beginning.
So so so ready for this.
We have a new year at the Kitchen Table. A first year ever of Biggification 2010. Great people. Big, crazy, powerful stuff to look forward to.
The Twitters.
Everyone showed up to cheer me up on the Day of Horribleness and Hard.
Offering me bunnies and flowers and whiskey and emergency trips to the Angel Refueling Station.
- Briana said: “And dear 2009: Why don’t you go ahead and buzz off? I think we’re done here.”
- Mona said: “They’re about to take out the 2009 recycling bin. Dump all that gah and yuck into it today so it can turned into sparkles for 2010.”
- Mr. Pants said: “I think 2009 had one of those electric-eye doors that stutter.”
- Jeff said: “2009 has sucked for a lot of people I know. It will not be remembered fondly.”
- And Jen said: “smack a doodle and goodbye 2009!”
And they all cheered me up immensely. Three cheers for Twitter. I love you guys.
The good part of snow.
Making tipsy snow angels all over your neighbors’ lawns.
Mmmm. Snow angels.
Doing New Year’s my way. Again!
Selma and the gentleman friend and I hide at home and avoid the world. Also, there are foods.
It’s good.
My gentleman friend: the most bad-ass chef that I know.
Oh yes.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week it’s all about …
The Tipsy Snow Angels
I know. I know. It’s just one guy.
And … STUISMS of the week.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who delights in torturing me misunderstanding me. I can’t stand him.
Some of his bits of freudian slippage and general ridiculousness:
- “and or mandatory hero” instead of and I re-quote our Victoria here
- “You must of course December 31 burns out to be really crappy game which is just a Martian day” instead of unless, of course, Dec 31st turns out to be a really crappy day, in which case I will just drink more champagne
- “I know teaching of Germany is usually a likely return to General Jacoby” instead of my annual teaching trip to Germany is usually a lovely contributor to general financial well-being
- “blowing the Army cities is your preacher drink” instead of lowering the bar makes it easier to reach your drink
- “an anonymous disaster” instead of an enormous disaster
- “create and find collaborative pensioners” instead of creative and fun collaborative adventures
One more thing! I know it’s not Wednesday but …
A couple of the “year-in-review” type of posts that I enjoyed reading this week.
- From Mr. Pants (aka Sparky Firepants: the pants come off!
- From Alexia: The Obligatory End of the Year Post
- And from Deborah: Day 3 of Twelve Days of Observation as part of her 12-Days Observation
On Twitter, they are, respectively: @sparkyfirepants, @AlexiaPetrakos and @DeborahWeber.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
New Year’s: The Great 2009 Chicken
So normally the Chicken happens every Friday when I write about the hard stuff and the good stuff from my week. And occasionally about zombies.
But mostly what was challenging and what was fabulous.
And I try to do it in the least-cheesy and non-annoying way possible, which is hard because we are, after all, dealing with self-reflection.
Last year I did a big crazy Chicken for 2008 (in a post which, interestingly, got me more hate mail than pretty much any other post ever) and I’m doing it again for 2009.
Because hey, a little symbolic closure never hurts.
And I re-quote our Victoria here: “Unless, of course, Dec 31st turns out to be a really crappy day, in which case I will just drink more champagne.”
Something kind of bizarre that I have to tell you about first.
While I was taking time to think back over the year and everything in it, there was no doubt in my mind about what stood out as the Hardest of the Hard and the Most Good of the Good.
The hardest was missing my friend who is dead. And at the top of the good was moving into Hoppy House and having space for myself for the first time in what seemed like forever.
Until I reread last year’s post and realized: wait, that was the hard and good from then.
Maybe because they were such monumental things for me that they have turned into giant trees. Or the Fernsehturm. You see them even from great distances.
But on to 2009. The time where we get to say “This. Now.”
The hard stuff
Pain. Lots and lots of pain.
The hurt arms.
The not being able to fix the hurt arms for months and months and months.
People not being able to stop giving well-meaning suggestions about the hurt arms that just resulted in ….
More annoyance and frustration about the hurt arms that didn’t respond to stuff that worked for other people but wasn’t working for me.
Having to work at quarter-capacity because of hurt arms. Which brings us to?
Financial stuff: crises, challenges and general ridiculousness.
You know, aside from having to work at quarter capacity and to hire other people to do my work for me. But also related.
LIke the thousands of dollars that went to acupuncture, healing remedies, software, consultations and whatever else was supposed to help the hurting arms stop hurting.
Or the three new Fluent Self products which were planned for the year and never happened thanks to the hurt-ey arms.
But also stuff like running programs that didn’t end up paying for themselves. Several of them.
Loaning a very large sum to someone who couldn’t pay it back. Or even apologize for not paying it back, which would have helped.
My annual teaching trip to Germany is usually a lovely contributor to general financial well-being, except that this year it was an enormous disaster in every possible way, but especially in a financial one.
Insane internet fame (yay) meant having to move all the websites to a new server, get new expensive-er hosting and bring an on-call tech expert on board.
Some other expensive medical stuff. And an entire month when sales just disappeared for absolutely no conceivable reason. Mercury in retrograde? I don’t know. But I’ve had enough. Seriously.
Being let down.
Trust stuff. Really hard trust stuff.
The jerks who have my mail being the least of these trust breakdowns.
And people trying to make friends in order to pitch me on stuff because my duck is famous. Ew.
Routines being tested. And just being kind of in-between. .
All the traveling and changes and in-between-nesses made it hard to stick with the things that are grounding.
Like daily yoga and Shiva Nata and morning walks with Selma and the gentleman friend.
It made it harder to feel at home in Hoppy House and harder to feel at home in myself. And was just generally distressing.
Are we at the good yet? Please say we are. Ah, yes. The good.
The good stuff
Routines that held despite all the traveling.
Like weekly bread-baking.
And yoga.
And writing every day.
Plus the gentleman friend and I took up swing dancing and wheeeeeeeeeeeeee I love it!
And yeah, the traveling.
Teaching is always more fun when you do it somewhere awesome. Learning too.
This year brought me and Selma and sometimes also the Gentleman Friend to Texas (well, Austin — twice!), North Carolina (also twice!), Tennessee, New Mexico, California (once to San Francisco and once to Sacramento), Alaska, Berlin, Copenhagen, Reykjavik and Vancouver.
Awesome.
Going on vacation, twice!
Even if both times were provoked by immanent emotional breakdown.
Totally counts.
Email sabbatical!
Changed my life.
Coming up with the pirate ship metaphor.
That solved a lot of stuff for me.
Once I knew it was a pirate ship, all sorts of things opened up.
Plus working with Cairene helped create strong, supportive systems to make sure the ship is sleek, fast and unstoppable.
The Right People thing.
It was cool. I really only worked with amazing clients this year.
Also finding the Right People to help me through the hard.
Especially Hiro, who helped me do some deep, wacky spiritual work that was exactly what I needed.
Selma and I went back to teaching more live events after a long hiatus.
And loved it.
Plus we taught at Jen’s Writer’s Retreat in Taos (we’ll be there again this year), which was so much fun.
Plus I got to meet a lot of Fluent Self-ey people in person. Hooray!
The Kitchen Table.
So many beautiful things happened there. What an astonishing experiment.
So much love.
I can still come up with 77 whole things that don’t completely suck.
And I did.
Oh, being internet famous. It makes stuff good.
I used to worry about saying no to things because hey, you need people to know about your thing.
This year I turned down what felt like a billion interview requests and related things, just because I didn’t feel like it. Being able to do that — knowing that I could — was really great.
Scheduled all of 2010 before it even started.
Now that’s something that’s never happened before. It’s a weird and wonderful feeling.
Saw a lot more of Portland.
Thanks to not being able to work.
Plus we got to know our neighbors (we have neighbors!) and really, really like them.
A big exciting development that I can’t tell you about yet.
Work-related, yes?
My gentleman friend was able to break up with all his clients.
Because The Fluent Self — even in a year of irritatingly stupid financial challenges — is still kicking ass.
We were in the New York Freaking Times.
Hard to believe that was exactly a year ago.
Went to my first business conference.
And wrote about it. And had fun. And decided never to have to go to one again.
Started respecting the “I don’t feel like it” .
And came up with the dammit list.
And made it a legitimate part of how we do things. Respecting my capacity. It’s a thing.
Self-sufficiency.
We did a lot of living out of our garden this year. Made our own bread, yogurt and cheese.
And learned about reach.
Almost every program I offered this year filled up within a day or two.
Some before I got around to even announcing their existence on the blog.
Which is why the events page now has a sneakified “find out first” list.
Plus I learned that it’s possible to work at quarter capacity and the ship still sails.
Stepped into the leadership thing.
In ways that were both unexpected and really comfortable.
I can’t believe I’m saying this but I really like it here.
Yet again, the good somehow outweighs the hard.
It’s weird because in my mind I am so completely ready to be done with this year of hard. It’s reassuring to remember that it wasn’t all tears and hiding under the bed.
Fell madly in love with the color orange, much to the surprise of anyone who knows me.
This slightly burnt, very sexy, loud pumpkin-ey orange. It’s making me happy.
Okay, 2009. I think we’re done here.
And yes. The best part — of course — was this blog and all of you.
Because I like you. And yes, that goes for my Beloved Lurkers too.
Wishing you all the support, strength, sovereignty, alliteration and safety you can stand for a seriously possibility-full 2010. Love, love, love and more love.
Havi Brooks & Selma the Duck