So last time we talked about how I can even think about charging for things (especially “when information should really be free”).

And I promised that I’d also get around to answering the people who want to know why my stuff costs what it does.

One more thing: I know you guys are super smart, so I probably don’t need to point this out, but …

These two posts aren’t (just) for the hurt-and-upset people who don’t understand why I charge “so much”.

They’re also a resource to help you feel safe standing behind your own prices, if/when these issues come up.

“Your stuff is probably good, but why do you charge so damn much?”

I really want to acknowledge how completely frustrating (and frightening) it is when you’re in a tough situation financially, you want something that can help, and you can’t make it happen.

If you hang out on the blog a lot and know a little of my history, you know I’ve been through some terrifyingly hard times of really having nothing. Times of not able to imagine being able to ever afford anything beyond (tfu tfu tfu) basic survival needs.

So I get how awful it it can feel to interact with someone’s prices, especially when your own situation feels completely desperate, and you really need to know that help and support is accessible for you.

It’s so hard.

And I don’t know if a post will help you or not. But here are some thoughts, in no particular order — you can use them or not use them as works for you.

Answer #1: sustainability

I’m not interested in running an “exchanging time for money” business.

If I did, I’d work a gazillion hours a week and then have to go have an emotional breakdown. It wouldn’t just be the occasional emergency vacation. I’d be a big freaking mess. All the time.

My duck would hate it. My gentleman friend would hate it. I would hate it.

That wouldn’t serve anyone. Not me. Not my Right People.

And my intention is to help as many of my Right People as possible — while still taking care of myself.

Answer #2: charging what I charge lets me help more of my Right People

Remember when I talked last time about how I give away nine hours of my time every single week here on the blog?

The stuff that is for sale here (which I totally don’t shove in anyone’s face — there’s a “here’s where you can get stuff” page and that’s about it) supports the entire business.

It allows me to write these posts. It allows me to give away tons of information and Useful Concepts.

It allows me to give stuff away — and give it gladly — in situations where my heart is really pulled to make an exception for someone who needs it.

Answer #3: I actually should be charging more

If I charged based on results, I would charge more. A lot more.

But again, it’s about serving my Right People, so I don’t actually charge what I could.

My superpower is zapping stucknesses. My clients regularly have breakthroughs that might otherwise have taken twenty years of therapy.

They say things like “ohmygod I feel fifty pounds lighter”, and that’s after the first twenty minutes of working on the stuckness.

So if I charged based on what people actually receive from my work, no one would be able to afford me until … after they’d done the work.

Which wouldn’t be very effective.

Answer #4: the hidden benefits of higher prices.

This kind of deserves its own piece. For now I’ll just point out that Mikelann Valterra of the Women’s Earning Institute argues that at least half the people who are interested in your services shouldn’t be able to afford you.

My friend Mark says that every time we have to stretch to commit to a transformative process, the act of stretching is useful.

And Naomi says you should double your prices every three to six months (or, alternately, every time someone writes to you complaining that you charge too much).

Because higher prices:

• function as a sexy red velvet rope to keep people out
• keep you from being overwhelmed in your business
• can help people make a stronger commitment to doing the work

And yeah, when the people who need your work have to make a big decision about whether or not they’re going to work with you — and maybe even save up for it over a period of time — they treat it seriously.

They’ll actually use the stuff you teach. Because they had to work to make it happen.

Answer #5: to encourage people not to hire you.

True, if you’re in the frustrating position of desperately hoping for clients, this seems like a pretty insanely weird thing to want.

But at a certain point in your business, you’ll want and need more time for your own healing/recharging process, and to figure out what needs to happen so that you can share your legacy with as many of your Right People as possible. You’ll need to biggify in a more mindful way.

And when that happens, you need to encourage your people to try other stuff first (like books and ebooks and programs and courses) instead of just hiring you just because … well, because they can.

And if your coaching and consulting rates aren’t prohibitive, people will keep hiring you. Which is not really what you want in the long term.

For me, it’s very useful that my rates are high enough that people think “you know, I’ll just take a class with her and Selma instead and maybe save up for a consultation later”.

It gives me time and space to grow my own practice in a healthy, sustainable way.

Answer #6: to find out who your Right People are

It’s not that all your Right People can necessarily afford you right now.

But if they’re your Right People, they feel the resonance.

They might not be able to hire you right now, but they want to be someone who can hire you eventually.

Your Right People believe in your work and what it can do for them.

Your Right People are more or less where you are on the sleaze-non-sleaze-kosher-marketing continuum.

So by definition, someone who is your Right Person will never challenge your prices.

Example: someone recently said that my blog would be good if it weren’t for the fact that I’m “constantly promoting my over-priced products”.

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess … not one of my Right People.

(Of course if I’m still worried, I can do the math. If I’ve written 338 posts and four of them were about upcoming classes or programs … hmm, we probably have different definitions of “constantly”.)

Your Right People are going to be kind and supportive.

Knowing that someone isn’t one of them gives you the freedom to not have to take their commentary seriously.

Answer #7: my Right People are willing to invest in themselves

You know what? Michael Port charges $1000 for forty-five minutes on the phone, and $5000 for a whole day with him. That’s a lot of money.

But it’s totally worth it. I know it is. Because I understand how the concept of investing-in-myself works.

And because when I paid close to a thousand dollars to take a seminar with him in Vancouver, I came home with a thirty thousand dollar idea and the confidence that I could implement it.

I also used his advice to hire Marissa to be my First Mate on the pirate ship, completely transforming my business. This also allowed me to go on email sabbatical, which is pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to me.

So I know that whatever I invest in studying with him will give back exponentially, both in terms of money and my emotional well-being. Yay emotional well-being!

I still haven’t put aside my five thousand dollars to spend a day with him, but it’s something I’m saving up for. It’s not because “he charges too much”. It’s because I’m still learning to invest in myself.

Answer #8: resonance.

I’ve written before about the art and science of resonant pricing.

If you read that article, you know two things:

• if you’re resonant with your prices, your Right People will be too.
• I get all of my prices from a meditation that I do, and I have other people do the pricing resonance exercise with me.

Which means? That I feel steady and comfortable in the price that shows up. And that if someone challenges my prices, that’s a clear sign that they’re not feeling the resonance. Which means definitely not one of my Right People.

So … why are my prices so high?

They’re not.

They do exactly what I want them to do.

Comment Zen for today.

What I’m not looking for:

• To be judged, psychoanalyzed or have shoes thrown at me.
• Criticism on the topic. It’s totally fine if you believe that it’s not worth engaging in discussion with people who ask why your prices are what they are. And at the same time, if I’m willing to have the conversation with people who sincerely want to know, I want to be allowed to have it.

What is welcome:

• Thoughts about my bigger theme of creating a safe space for your Right People, while keeping healthy boundaries so you don’t have to take on other people’s stuff.

My commitment.

I commit to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as possible.