If that word makes you want to throw up, scream, or run away …

You’re in good company.

Also, I happen to think that I have some fairly useful things to say on the topic.

And if you’re actually cool with “marketing”, hang in there, because there might be something useful for you too.

A tiny bit of background?

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting at the Lucky Lab Public House with my brother and my gentleman friend.

It was my second time there. The first time being three years and one month ago. And wow. The place was exactly as I remembered it — but everything in my head was different.

Back then my brother, Selma and I didn’t have money to spare for things like … oh, food. We were couchsurfing. We were living off of bread and cheese from the supermarket.

This time I had a fantastic tomato soup. And a slice of veggie pizza. And just twenty minutes previously, I’d acquired a MacBook Air. (hooray)

Three years ago I firmly believed that marketing in all forms was evil, manipulative and gross. And at the same time, I had a business. With which I wanted to help people. So, you know, it was kind of a problem.

A most unfortunate word.

Most of us who come to business by way of wanting to save the world or do our art or bring joy to others through being all creatively self-expressive and stuff … we don’t have degrees in business.

We are what Molly Gordon calls Accidental Entrepreneurs.

Which means that our instinctive association with anything “marketing” tends to be more like this article — World’s Worst Person Decides To Go Into Marketing:

“I think it’s the career path that will best utilize my networking skills and my ability to think outside the box,” said Deenan, whose smug, gloating tone and shit-eating smile just make you want to punch his goddamn teeth in. “So I’m definitely thinking marketing. Either that, or PR.”

That still cracks me up … every single time.

An even more unfortunate paradox.

The other night at a dinner thing-ey I met a woman — super-talented artist — who literally backed away with an expression of horror when someone said the dreadful m-word.

The very thing that would help her tell me (someone who likes art and happily supports artists) more about why her stuff is unique and amazing is the thing that is most uncomfortable and unattractive to her.

Or take my starving drag king performance artist girls in Berlin. If they knew I was writing a post about “marketing” (ohmygod I’m doing it right now) they’d probably disown me.

My Berlin friends also spend an awful lot of time figuring out what to say on the hand-drawn flyers announcing their upcoming “soli” event (I think that’s called a Rent Party).

What to say. How to say it. What it should look like. Uh huh. Last I heard, there was a word for that.

So what’s a conscientious non-sleazebag business owner to do?

For one thing, don’t call it marketing!

Seriously. If it grosses you out, change the word.

Personally, I use biggification. Yes, I made it up. And it encompasses the “growing the cool thing I do so I can help people” vibe but kind of takes the piss out of it.

I didn’t invent the art of mindfully biggifying to be cute or anything. It was more that I wasn’t able to say the word “marketing” to the point that when I hired my first business coach, I had to ask him never to say it in our conversations.

He said ” … Uh, what do you want me to call it?”
And I said, “Well, I’m fond of the word ‘biggification’.”
And he said, “Alright then, let’s start biggifying!”

Don’t just change the word. Change the meaning.

This is called reframing in the coaching world, and it works amazingly well.

For example, my definition of “marketing” (what I call biggification) is this:

The art, science and process of helping your Right People a. find you, and b. feel safe saying yes to the thing you have, know or do that will make their lives better.

That’s it.

It’s helping the people you need to help. It’s helping them find you. And it’s helping them feel safe saying yes to the help.

Without this part — the “marketing” part — all you’re doing is hiding in your room wanting to help people. Your Right People are wandering around looking for you and you’re making it hard for them to receive what you have to give.

This might not be your reframe. Yours might be something else. But if you reframe it well enough, you won’t even need to change the word.

For example, my friend and colleague Mark Silver has no problem with the m-word. The way he sees it, it’s a market like a shuk is a market. Like, you go out to the market with your big straw basket over your arm to buy vegetables and sell fruit. You’re going marketing.

For him, it’s fun and playful and creative. That’s because he’s managed to reframe the word so completely that it totally works for him.

Study up on it.

Still hate “marketing”? That’s fine. Hate away. Seriously. It’s normal, it’s natural, it’s forgivable and it’s reassuringly human. I’m glad that you’re not the guy in that Onion article. Ugh.

But don’t stop with just plain old hating. Dive in to this foreign, unappealing thing. Find out what’s happening there.

Know your enemy.

Because if you do, a. you’ll be more successful than everyone else and b. you’ll realize pretty quickly that hey, it’s not the enemy.

Actually, eventually you’ll also realize that there is no enemy and that’s when your head really starts to spin. But we’ll worry about that part some other time.*

*If your curiosity just got piqued, you can peek at this post where I bring up the concept that ‘everything that is against me is an illusion‘

Learn from people who model what they know.

The best person I know to study biggification from is Naomi over at Itty Biz. Even though she has zero problem calling it “marketing” and as soon as she reads this she’ll probably call to tell me just to have a stiff drink and get over it.

But it will be worth it because she makes me spit juice out of my nose.

If there’s still room to get in to her Marketing 101 course which starts this Wednesday (like, the 11th which is practically now), you should do it. Even though she will say that icky, horrible word and you may have to translate it.

Also, I happen to know — because this is how good she is at biggifying — if you sign up through my blog you also get to take another class (like, for free) called Networking For Wallflowers: How To Schmooze When You Suck At Schmoozing.

Which is just for students of her M——– 101 course and which I will be taking too because, as you know, I get all weird and uncomfortable about “networking” as much as I do with “marketing”.

And … maybe also practice trusting your heart a little more.

You know what? You’re a good person. I know you are. And I know that sounds kind of trite and insincere, but really, I meant it.

Really, I’m not just saying that because you read my blog. Though maybe I am. I mean, it does speak well of you.

My point is, you’re not a sleazebag. If you were, you’d be somewhere else.

And my own experience is that the better I get at remembering that I don’t have a slimy, manipulative bone in my body, the easier it all is.

Because when you remember that … it also gets easier to trust that the tools that some people use for evil (copywriting, anyone?) can also be used consciously and intentionally with a pure heart to help people find you. To help them say yes to the amazing thing that you do.

I know you’re using your powers for good. I love that you’re using your powers for good. Still, everyone needs a little help.

And that help happens to be (however unfortunately) called “marketing”. Unless you’re me, in which case it’s called mindful biggification.

That’s it.

I still have all sorts of things to say (surprise!) about stuff related to the non-icky forms of “marketing”, biggifying and putting yourself out there just enough to help your Right People when they need you the most.

But I’ll save it.