sparks

I found myself lurching awake at 3am
with one of those world-shattering, blindingly brilliant epiphanies
the kind you know is the answer
you weren’t even seeking
to [life, the universe and everything]
though you also suspect as you frantically scribble it down
this achingly important message might not make sense later
and even if it does, well, safe to bet
you won’t be sufficiently impressed

reverberation

it’s the meaning of the words, the full-body reverberation of them
not the words themselves
but 3am-me knew that nothing could ever be more true
or more vital than these two words taken together:

DO LESS

there is no other answer
because that’s the answer
but can you sustain the charge of that moment of knowing

crown on and do less

my theme over the past week has been CROWN ON
a la Wayne and Garth: “Game On!”

the work of CROWN ON is equal parts useful and challenging
and once I started playing with this
I was immediately rewarded (ha) with
every possible opportunity to practice
because that’s how these things go

a small example

last week while doing some congruencing here
I came across an old FAQ page from maybe seven years ago
past-me had written the longest answer
to the people who ask us to remove or edit comments they’ve left here
about why we don’t do that
the explanation was warm and compassionate, written with so much love
and yet I unhesitatingly deleted the whole thing
because I remembered something that past-me didn’t trust yet
that the best answer to everything is pause-and-breathe,
trust people enough to let them resolve their stuff on their own,
and anyway, not everything requires a response

reminders

I love these reminders showing up everywhere in my life right now
helping me see something I did not realize before:
crown-on and do-less like to play together!
in fact they’re probably
skipping through the park right now
holding hands and laughing
pausing to admire the rainbow that visits the fountain

What do I know about Do Less?

it doesn’t come naturally (to me)
my mind requires steady practice to choose towards less
or even to remember that doing less is an option
it is amazing how many problems and challenges don’t need solving
if you just wait 48 hours

about 70% of our incoming emails are questions that
don’t need to be answered
I learned this years ago on a teaching trip to Berlin
the time difference solved all challenges each night
giving people time to answer their own questions while I slept
by the time I got around to them, there was nothing left to do

what if there is nothing that needs to be done
what if this is true in more situations than I think

I mean, very rarely is it necessary to take action
and the less I try to solve/fix/respond/smooth-things-over
the more powerful it is when I do take a stand in a moment that demands it

the superpowers of less

do less is a marvelous way to practice sovereignty (crown on!)
because it combines the superpowers of

Love-More Trust-More (and trust love more!)
What If We Just Let This Situation Gracefully Resolve Itself
I Remember To Pause And Breathe
There Are So Many Ways This Could Work Out Without My Input
Look At Me Caring For The Beautiful Boundaries Of My Internal Kingdom

doing as much less as possible
is a wonderful way to challenge the rigging of the rigged game
but the rigging is also why
the practice of do less is so fraught

(let’s talk about rigging)

a commitment to live by Do Less
or even to explore living by Do Less
— even just whispering about this wish —
is vulnerable, intense,
and slightly-to-very terrifying
not only because it sets off the internal monster brigades
but especially when we remember that the rigged game rewards
a culture of do more
the rigged game is the inculcated mindset of
you are never doing enough

(because you are not enough)
(that’s what you’re supposed to think)

busy

believing you are not enough, that’s what ensures you’ll be
too busy to rebel
too busy working your ass off
trying to achieve the unachievable
without even questioning whether or not it is your whispered heart-yes
to begin with

or you’ll give up on yourself,
thinking you’re failing at life
because the mechanisms of the rigged game
are so well disguised
we can’t even see that “winning” wasn’t an option to begin with

horizon

it serves the rigged game
that we are constantly striving and never pausing to examine why
it serves the rigged game when we push and when we
chastise ourselves for
not pushing more or “enough”
and of course often there are real life consequences
to not demonstrating that we too are push-push-pushing like everyone else
still, it’s amazing, really, if you stop long enough to think about it
look at us chasing what we think are goals ahead of us
when it’s only horizon
horizon doing what horizon does best
hinting at a possibility of arriving
a gorgeous illusion

the rigged game depends on us believing that we can get there
if we just push more and harder
and we want to believe that if only we weren’t dealing with
[Situation X] or [Illness/Impairment Y] or [Interpersonal Relationship Z]
then sure we could just make it all happen
inbox zero and
spotless apartment and
a body that is more [this] and less [that]
on and on

trapped in comparison

as if there is some imaginary happier perfect version of us
living in some ludicrous impossible pinterest-instagram scenario
the kind where people with suspiciously great hair
lounge on suspiciously white sofas
mysteriously never spilling wine
on their perfectly tailored white garments
you guys, it’s a trap

what do I know

(1) there is always a Situation X at hand, that’s how life works

(2) all these things we are brainwashed to think are
both desirable and attainable
(if only we just keep pushing)
aren’t even necessarily things we want or need
even if they were achievable which, I mean, who knows,
but the game keeps us too busy to check in and find out

(3) as Orna says, everything that is against me is illusion
in yoga we call this maya, the thing that keeps us from seeing truth

(3.5) illusion is very compelling

(4) to release distortions and the untrue stories I habitually tell myself until they become the filters for all experience, I need to get quiet, turn inward, come home to breath and heartbeat and source-love

(5) so we’re back to less doing, more being
less striving, more allowing
less judgment, more curiosity

let’s eat pie

last night my friend the arborist texted me:
“today was a good day, as always, trusting, waiting,
wanting everything and expecting nothing, I could eat a pie”

this is what I want:

Wanting Everything While Expecting Nothing
Wanting Everything And Doing (Glorious Brave Intentional) Nothing
There Is Nothing To Solve
Nothing More Needs To Be Done
Trust And Wait and Do Nothing And Eat Pie

this is the spirit of crown on and do less
the spirit of love more trust more
yes, this is what I want

now

wishing wishes about Do Less, and yet/also:
I have three days to finish vacating my house
and deal with approximately seventy million related and unrelated tasks
so I need to find the peacefulness inside that conundrum
or the not-a-conundrum inside the conundrum
ah yes, everything that is against me is an illusion,
so it follows that there is no conundrum
it is up to me to bring the spirit of Do Less and Crown On into a busy day
not to postpone the wish until I’m “less busy”
(because believing that will happen is the rigged game too)
(and believing that I will be happier when that happens is also rigging)

I have this sweet moment now
to breathe in life and appreciate life
to stroke the beautiful wood grain of this table, let my jaw soften,
welcome myself in this moment
and this is how a moment changes
I do less inside of it
and give myself more

the superpower of beautifully supported

ah here we are in April, the month of ROOTS
and oh how I need this superpower of
Beautifully Supported
thank you, past-me, for being such a good namer and calling this into being

last week’s wishes

last-week-me wished a wish called do-overs forever…

and in a way today’s wish solves the question that troubled me last week, I can do less (wait and trust) and take steps (crown on), and there is no contradiction, because the contradiction was part of the illusion

so here’s to doing wonderful less, and to doing less, wonderfully
all the while full of wonder

invitation: come play with me…

you are invited to share many !!!!!! about what is here,
or share appreciation or anything sparked for you while reading

deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, intel, possibly in code

safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving

wishes are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing

here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: oh, wow what beautiful wishes

♡

I want to try something with you.

But first I feel drawn to tell you two stories on my mind right now, both from the world of dance, which is where I am when I’m not writing, and also the place where writer-me goes to study voice, trust, patience, lusciousness, and process.

A different way of thinking about imitation.

At a training with Brandi Tobias, world champion dancer.

She watched the room and said, “Okay people, I need you to dance the same pattern again, but this time do your best imitation of how a world champion dancer would dance this pattern.

We did it again. It was better. A remarkable amount of better. The room felt different too, tingly and alive.

She sighed. “I don’t know whether I like this exercise or not. I love watching you guys dance so much better, but honestly it pisses me off to no end that you seem to think you need permission to have confidence in your movement.”

Changing the definition.

I have always thought, without out really thinking about it, that imitation is just never good — it’s not being true to yourself, wanting something that isn’t yours, and so on.

Certainly as a writer, one of my greatest frustrations is when people try to write in my voice instead of being inspired to turn inward and find theirs. Sincerest form of flattery means nothing to me. Things that resonate with truth mean everything to me.

But what if I rewrite the word? What if imitation can also mean granting ourselves permission to glow? In that case, imitation becomes the sincerest form of trying on a glow to see how it transforms a moment…

If that’s true, then people can let go of the need to imitate my voice and instead imitate the trust that it takes to share of yourself in your own way, glow your own glow. Oh, the tingly real magic of that.

Nothing to prove.

At a seminar with Brad Whelan on the Art of Winning (dance competitions).

He told a story about a time he danced very well in a competition and would have made finals (in the top division) but for one point marked down by one judge, who happened to be a good friend of his. So he asked her what he could do differently.

She said, “You were great. It’s just, you were dancing like you were trying to make finals, you weren’t dancing like you thought belonged there.”

That was his turning point, he stopped trying to prove he was good enough and started dancing like he knew he was, and now he always makes finals.

Right now.

One of the things I love about dance — and by “love”, I mean it drives me up the wall, is that yes, you need technique, and yes, you have to develop artistry, but so much of it, maybe even most of it, is just trusting that you are allowed to stop doubting yourself.

Which is not the easiest thing to learn how to do.

But think about the power of this:

Not waiting for Oh Someday In The Distant Future When It’s Been Proven That I’m Amazing And Therefore I’m Finally Allowed To Act Like I Am Relaxed, Positive and Sure Of Myself In Everything I Do.

Just deciding that right now, in this moment, I get to have fun, I get to glow, I get to feel what it’s like to be wildly confident, because that feeling is a good thing for my body to be able to feel.

The superpower of yeah let’s do this.

I’m taking this concept and repurposing it for my L.I.S.T. — my to-do list which is also an acronym for Luscious Intrigue of Secret Treasure.

Let’s imagine that the World Champion of Crossing Shit Off The List (something I generally believe to be overrated but I could really use some of that magic today) is here with us right now.

She says, “Okay people, let’s play with one thing on our list, and let’s do it like we are world champions of crossing shit off, we have all the superpowers needed for this. What does this look like? One thing. How are we going to approach? With style! You’ve got the glow. You’ve got permission (always) to glow. Let’s see how this feels.”

Here are the superpowers we get to have today.

We get to have them because we just do, and also we are imitating them to remind ourselves of what that might feel like….

The superpowers of:

Wonder Focus. I’ve Got This. I Ask The Right Questions. Relaxed and Positive! I Trust Myself More Than I Ever Have Before. World Champion Crosser-Offer! Everything I Do Counts, No Matter What The Monsters Think. Fractal Flowers, baby.

Let’s play in the comments!

Here’s how this is going to work….

1. We decide we have the superpowers and we have the glow, or at least we’re imitating them to see what that feels like and how it changes the moment.
2. We name some of the things on our L.I.S.T. of things that want to be crossed off or otherwise released.
3. We choose one thing to investigate and see what might help move it forward.
4. We award ourselves absolutely thrilling over-the-top amounts of sparklepoints for anything and everything!

And then we can check back in, throw some sparklepoints around and apply more superpowers as needed. You can also just say hi, share appreciation and enthusiasm, and of course make up acronyms, because that is the best.

As in all things, permission and legitimacy!

Life is busy and challenging, the game is super rigged, things pretty much always take an entirely different amount of time than anticipated, everything counts. Endless respect (and a billion sparklepoints) to us for getting through the day, however it happens. Everything else is a bonus.