What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Wish #262: The mystery of the purple pills.
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
♡
What do I want?
I have magic purple pills.
This isn’t a wish. I have them.
Even though, okay, yeah, this is kind of a proxy.
I have these purple pills, and they basically make everything better.
Even when they don’t make things remarkably better (though they often do), at the very least things are slightly better. Like, worst case scenario, I’m more relaxed and less stressed out and more able to notice things going on in my body.
And for some reason, I’m not entirely clear why, I don’t take them. Okay, they aren’t really like pills. More like a lozenge? Or a spray?
But the purple seems important, I’m not sure why.
What do I know about this so far?
I have these purple somethings. They are purple. I put one in my mouth and it makes everything better. Seriously, they are amazing.
And: I don’t use them.
Is that true? What’s also true?
I save them for emergencies. Even though actually they are more effective when you take them regularly.
They don’t cost anything. I perceive them as coming with a cost, because I have to stop what I’m doing to take them. Except that pause is always beneficial, it’s the best kind of red light.
What else do I know about what I want?
I wish I could remember how great the purple capsules are. I want to reach for them automatically.
I want to go, ohhhhhh take a purple!
And I want to do this well before it is needed.
Come home and take a purple. Get to the Playground, have a purple. Like that.
What have I tried?
I have a little purple room, not really a room, more like an alcove. It’s designated space to go and have a purple moment, take a purple, get back to that sweet purple feeling I like so much…
Sometimes I use it. A lot of times though I just look at it.
What haven’t I tried yet?
Hmm. If these were actual pills, I’d probably put notes around the house. I’d definitely enlist Richard to help me remember.
I might have reminder bells on my phone.
Actually, I do have reminder bells but they go off at times when I am out and about, and I need a few minutes of alone time to do the purple thing.
This is interesting. God I love proxies.
If I treated this like they were actual pills….
Now we are getting somewhere.
This could actually work like with the iron that I kept forgetting to take, until Nick decided I was a dragon who needed to crunch knights, and now I have a knight who sits on the counter and reminds me to keep my strength up.
What is this really about?
Okay, so the purple capsules are secret agent code for conducting, which is itself secret agent code for getting down on the floor and closing my eyes and feeling the ground.
But that’s not what this is really about.
It’s really about my worry about coming back from the Vicarage and not being able to take Vicarage with me.
It’s wanting to make sure that I have a doorway into Wonderfully Peaceful, a doorway into moments of thank you.
It is a continuation of the past weeks of wishing, an attempt to build in ritual that supports the wishes.
Anything else about this?
Purple is not a color I usually gravitate to, and so I’m not sure why these pills are purple, and yet I know they are.
Purple, in the yoga world, is associated with the seventh chakra, connection.
And in the outside world, it’s associated with royalty: sovereignty.
Connection and sovereignty. I can work with that.
What else do I know about this?
I like the idea of having a playful challenge. Making it a game until it becomes more automatic.
This is a good way to re-enter, and it is a good way to practice treasuring myself, which I’m pretty sure will be the theme of Rally (Rally!) this week as it is Rally T, and T is for Treasure, among other things.
Also the purple pills seem to be strongest at Rally, so it will be useful to explore that more in depth.
Where do I want to start?
Choosing this as a conscious experiment. A working hypothesis that I can mess around with as needed. And trusting that whatever I get will be useful.
And using the compass to help:
Peacefulness. Safety. Ease. Shelter. Freedom. Release. Glow. Wild.
Does this relate to Tranquility?
July is the month of Tranquility in the Fluent Self calendar.
Superpower of remembering that Now Is Not Then.
Tranquility is exactly what is needed here. And since the purple pills are basically tranquility pills, nothing more is needed. Just to remember. This moment is new.
The salve has an anchor on it, and the practice of [being purple] will anchor me.
Talking to Incoming Me about…
Me: I am so afraid that I will forget what it is like to be at the Vicarage. It’s happened before, sort of, not really.
Slightly wiser me: Oh my love. You are safe. And: the last time you vicaraged was nearly a year ago. You are an entirely new person, and this experience was its own world.
Me: What if I lose it?
Slightly wiser me: It lives inside of you. There is a blueprint in each of your cells. And now you have this new experiment to see what happens when you regularly do things to support the purple, when you take your purple supplements. Each time you do it, you’re experiencing the qualities of the Vicarage.
Anything else? Starting points?
Find things that elicit thank-yous. Skip stones as often as possible. Dance. Intensity. Writing. Operation Sip Hint Learn. It’s all about red lipstick. Eight breaths. My body gets the deciding vote. Thank you in advance.
What else do I want?
- Everything is easier than I thought, and look, miracles everywhere.
- I have the best time dancing in my ballroom.
- This doesn’t require my input!
- Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this. Past me is a GENIUS
- I have what I need, and I appreciate it. There are resources to do this.
- Trust and steadiness. I can see why this moment is good.
- Hawaii. Hawaii is not in Hawaii. It’s the Vicarage!
- I am fearless and confident. I do the brave things and it is not even a big deal, and I still get sparklepoints, yay.
- Ops: Ease-filled transitions.
Clues?
“Success!”
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka thank you, last-year me…
I wanted to say thank you, way more than I do, and I didn’t really know how, or I thought I didn’t know how, but it turns out I do.
It’s about remembering that I can take the purple pills. The purple brings me to the thank you. The more I fill up on purple, the more present and appreciative I am. So the wish brought me to the next wish, thank you.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
I wish to whisper a whisper about the Monster Manual! It comes paired with the world’s best coloring book, which does so much monster-dissolving magic that even if you wait to try the techniques, you’ll still feel better about everything.
Self-fluency is hard enough, we need ways to to interact with the thoughts-fear-worry-criticism that shuts down creative exploring. And when people get the manual, I am able to me spend more time writing here. So if you don’t need help with monsters, get one for a friend. Or plant a wish that someone gets it for you! And bring people you like to hang out here. The more of us working on our stuff, the better for all of us. ♡
Keep me company?
Consider this an open invitation to deposit wishes, gwishes, personal ads. In any size/form you like, there’s no right way. Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is anything sparked for you.
Commenting culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We are on permanent vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play.
Let’s throw things in the pot! And: Amnesty. Leave a wish any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #311: like it’s my job
It is Friday and we are here.
{a breath for Friday}
I am away at the Vicarage, where I have removed myself from everything to get even quieter than I usually am, which, if you’ve met me, is pretty quiet, since I don’t actually talk.
What worked this week?
Trust.
“This moment is right.”
Next time I might…
Remember what Julie says.
Because she’s right:
Anticipation, expectations….just toss that shit out. That is no way to live. Let it go. Work with what is here.
And that she laughs. The laughing part is key. You have to be having fun or at least giggling at yourself while practicing this detachment stuff. And of course: legitimacy for how hard it is. That part is important too. Otherwise I’m just attached to the detachment….
Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Loss and mourning. A breath for goodbyes.
- Goodbyes. A breath for everything ends.
- Missing. A breath for trust.
- PTSD. A breath for healing.
- Expectations and holding onto them. A breath for grace.
- Longings. A breath for allowing desires to be legitimate.
- I wish I could stay here. A breath for passage.
- Inhale, exhale. Goodbye, mysteries and hard moments of this week.
Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- Wonderfully peaceful. A breath for pleasure.
- Wildly confident. A breath for the superpower I have been working towards: it is here.
- Nothing is wrong. All timing is right timing. A breath for remembering truth.
- Walking by the water. A breath for the thing that is best for me.
- Napping like it’s my job. A breath for one day this will be be part of my job.
- Epiphanies. They can be stupid and annoying, and they are still amazing. A breath for uncovering.
- I crossed a bridge, a big one, and this was the exact right time to do it. A breath for seeing it while it’s happening.
- Appreciation and thankfulness. Thank you, Operation Kaleidoscope. Thank you, everything that brought me here. Thank you, red lipstick. Thank you, lovely surprises. Nothing is wrong. Now is not then. So many things are good. A breath for deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed.
I have been writing all the things I wanted to write that I didn’t know I wanted to write. Wham Boom.
Superpowers!
Powers I had this week…
The power of giving myself permission to do the thing that is indicated instead of fighting it.
Whether that is back to bed or staying out late or crying on the floor or telling the truth.
Superpowers I want.
Same as last time: the power of knowing, deeply, that every moment is treasure.
Salve. The Salve of Comfort.
This salve is like a really good hug.
It holds the qualities of Support, Peacefulness, Reassurance, Unconditional Love, Sweetness, Strength and undiluted Adoration.
When I massage this into my skin, I remember: I am safe. I am held. I am loved. This thing that hurts will pass, and these truths will still be true.
If salve does not appeal, you can have this in tea form, as a bath, cocktail, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This band is from Luke and they’re called Overworked Alter Egos, they play metal ballads in Portuguese and it’s just one guy.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
I spend a lot of time saying “ohmygod I want to go somewhere and WRITE, I want to go on a writing retreat” and then I never do that because of the part where hahaha I’d probably have to sit around with Writers and talk about what I’m writing.
And then I realized I could invent my own that would be exactly what I want. Price super low because I need to leave town for a couple of weeks. It is called a Righting Retreat.
Partly because that sounds less intimidating (to me), and partly because it is true. We will Right things.
Come read the page because 1) I swear a lot, 2) I make a pun that is also truth, 3) there is a cloud that makes me smile, 4) I can’t be the only person who longs for this, 5) I just made a thing and would love company, 6) there is an extra-extra-extra low price for the first few people.
Not sure if there are still spots left because I am away, but give it a try!
—-> https://fluentself.com//righting/ —-> PASSWORD: oneword
Come play if you like…
Join me in the comments. Some of us share hard and good, some of us say hi, or maybe we’re on silent retreat. My ritual doesn’t have to be your ritual. Whatever works for you. Almost three hundred weeks of this and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like, it’s no big deal. And I am blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers. I love that you are here too.
Wish #261: thank you, last year me.
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
♡
What do I want?
I have to tell you a funny story.
Last year, when I was going through the usual Fourth of July PTSD trauma from [explosions, everywhere], I made a wish that this year I would be somewhere safe:
“Part of what needs to change in July is REFUGE. I need to be somewhere else so that I can give myself shelter and refuge.”
The Spy Who Loved Me promised we would go to France, except then things changed and there is no Spy.
Guess what though? Even though I didn’t make any plans at all, I miraculously ended up at the Vicarage for the fourth of July. I ended up at the safest place I know.
How wonderful and amazing is that? Thank you, last year me. And me of Rally R, who set this into motion two weeks ago. R is for Refuge. Do you see?
What do I know about this wish so far?
Seeding. I seeded things.
Seeding things is important.
Seeding qualities is the most important.
Making wishes is important. Allowing myself to wish: this is important.
What else do I know about what I want?
I have written about my thank-you heart.
I have said thank you to the winding path that brought me here.
There is so much more thank-you than that.
Thank you, every me who wished every wish.
Thank you?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
Thank you, me of 2005 who started this website. Thank you, me of 2010 who opened the Playground in Portland. Thank you, me of the very first wish, who made the wish that brought me together with my home. Thank you, me who realized there was something in this practice.
Thank you.
Thank you for being brave enough to wish, thank you for peeking at desire and asking loving questions and being curious. Thank you.
Thank you inside and out, forward and backward.
Internal thank-yous to all the Havi Bells.
External thank-yous to everyone who reads.
Forward thank-yous to slightly future me.
Backward thank-yous to me from then.
Thank you in all the directions.
What else do I know about this?
The more time I spend in thank you, the happier I am.
What else do I know about this?
Past-me sets things up for me now, and I glow love to all the Havi Bells, past and future. We are all connected.
What else do I know about this?
Thank-you is the grace state.
Everything is easier when I enter from appreciation.
What else do I know about this?
It doesn’t cost anything. It doesn’t require anything other than getting quiet and remembering.
And yet at the same time, it is the hardest practice. The simplest, and the hardest.
It asks that I get quiet, peaceful, that I practice legitimacy, that I forgive myself.
What else do I know about this?
The quickest way — for me — into thank you is rest.
Closing my eyes, resting into the floor, listening to my breath, feeling my body-mind slowly release rules and rigidity, fear and tension.
Anything else?
This desire to spend more time in THANK YOU is the the direct result of last week’s wish about Wonderfully Peaceful.
So this is perfect.
And also this is one of the things I came to the Vicarage to learn.
To say thank you, and to forgive.
Where do I want to start?
To be a bell of thank you, I need to do less.
Thank you requires noticing: my toes lift up in a little dance and my left hand is clenching again.
Thank you is how I want to enter writing. I am a writer who questions things, including writing. So I can start writing with thank you.
Thank you to each of the qualities in the eight points of my compass:
Peacefulness. Safety. Ease. Shelter. Freedom. Release. Glow. Wild.
Of course: Tranquility.
Hello, July. Hello, new salve and superpower in the Fluent Self calendar, July is the month of Tranquility.
Superpower of remembering that Now Is Not Then.
Tranquility is just right. Also I love how the salve has an anchor on it, and I am by the water, being an anchor and a bell.
Now is not then is a wonderful concept, especially for thank-yous that are directed towards the past, because I have a lot of Hard in my past.
Sometimes it is challenging to find the thank you in those memories. When I can’t find the thank you, I can say thank you to me-then for hanging in there, for having the tiniest spark of faith, for letting me in. I can say thank you for having gotten through.
Last month we asked that past experience be transformed into jewels. Now it is time to be tranquil and present: thank you, me who set up the calendar in this way. Thank you for this transition which is exactly what I need.
Talking to Incoming Me about…
Me: Shifting my focus to thank-you and tranquility, this feels like new territory. Haha, those were all T words, and when I come back to Portland it will be time for Rally T.
Slightly wiser me: Remember last week when I asked you if you remembered the trees?
Me: Another T-word! Yes, so this is the same. The me from the trees knows about thank-yous and tranquility. These are not new to me. It is just a new angle, a new vocabulary, a new spiral.
Slightly wiser me: This is why you have spent the past couple of years in a deep commitment to quiet, so you could get to this. And Thank You and Tranquility are bridges to new and wonderful adventures. You’re more ready than you think you are, and it doesn’t require anything of you. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Trust your instincts. Do things that feel good.
Anything else? Starting points?
Find things that elicit thank-yous. Skip stones as often as possible. Dance. Intensity. Writing. Operation Sip Hint Learn. It’s all about red lipstick. Eight breaths. My body gets the deciding vote. Thank you in advance.
What else do I want?
- Everything is easier than I thought, and look, miracles everywhere.
- I have the best time dancing in my ballroom.
- This doesn’t require my input!
- Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this. Past me is a GENIUS
- I have what I need, and I appreciate it. There are resources to do this.
- Trust and steadiness. I can see why this moment is good.
- Hawaii. Hawaii is not in Hawaii. It’s the Vicarage!
- I am fearless and confident. I do the brave things and it is not even a big deal, and I still get sparklepoints, yay.
- Ops: Thank you in eight directions.
Clues?
The color copper. The texture of lace.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka wonderfully peaceful…
That was the just-right wish, and how funny that I didn’t know we’d be entering the month of Tranquility. It’s like I was preparing for it ahead of time.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
I wish to whisper a whisper about the Monster Manual! It comes paired with the world’s best coloring book, which does so much monster-dissolving magic that even if you wait to try the techniques, you’ll still feel better about everything.
Self-fluency is hard enough, we need ways to to interact with the thoughts-fear-worry-criticism that shuts down creative exploring. And when people get the manual, I am able to me spend more time writing here. So if you don’t need help with monsters, get one for a friend. Or plant a wish that someone gets it for you! And bring people you like to hang out here. The more of us working on our stuff, the better for all of us. ♡
Keep me company?
Consider this an open invitation to deposit wishes, gwishes, personal ads. In any size/form you like, there’s no right way. Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is anything sparked for you.
Commenting culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We are on permanent vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play.
Let’s throw things in the pot! And: Amnesty. Leave a wish any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #310: a richness of quiet
It is Friday and we are here.
{a breath for Friday}
I am at the Vicarage, where I have removed myself from everything for two weeks so that I can get even quieter than I usually am. There is a richness of quiet that I crave right now, and this is the place where I can sink into silence.
And since I am currently engaged in this deeper-quiet, this Chicken will be an abbreviated one. I hope you can feel some of the quiet coming through, as well as the wonderful superpowers of quieting.
What worked this week?
Removing myself from everything.
I keep looking at this sentence and shaking my head at the wisdom of what I did for myself.
Next time I might…
Do this sooner.
The plan to run away to the Vicarage happened super last-minute.
While I was going through my “how to run away to the Vicarage” protocol, I found a note from Last Year Me who said:
My love, please don’t wait to do this until you are at an edge. Don’t wait until you can’t see straight to pause and recalibrate. Do this before you think you need it. And, most importantly, don’t wait until after you need it.
So. I didn’t wait until after I needed it. That part is good. And I also knew six weeks ago that the need was on the way, and tried to ignore that information. Next time. Progress.
Thank you, last-year me. Thank you, last-week me. Thank you, incoming me who has figured out this whole “taking care of myself” thing.
Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Loss. A breath for comfort.
- Need. A breath for trust.
- The well of sadness. A breath for release.
- Goodbyes. A breath for newness.
- Isolation. A breath for knowing I am not alone.
- Wistful wishing for something that is not to be, or not to be right now. A breath for allowing desires to be legitimate.
- Everything unresolved. A breath for passage.
- Inhale, exhale. Goodbye, mysteries and hard moments of this week.
Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- I am here. A breath for safety and protection.
- I have given this time to myself. A breath for treasure and for treasuring myself.
- Nothing is wrong. All timing is right timing. A breath for remembering truth.
- Sky. Water. A breath for peacefulness.
- I have words. A breath for appreciating who I am.
- Remembering that I am radiantly beautiful. It is astonishing how often I forget this, most of the time. A breath for rediscovering.
- When I have this kind of quiet, I am amazed at what I know. A breath for the sea of wisdom.
- Appreciation and thankfulness. Thank you, Alon for naming Operation Kaleidoscope. Thank you, Richard for being the best possible friend I could ask for. Thank you, miracles. Thank you, fruit. Thank you, blue towel. Thank you, lovely surprises. Nothing is wrong. Now is not then. So many things are good. A breath for deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed.
The best part of Operation Kaleidoscope is that I don’t have to do anything except take care of myself, and this is the best op in the entire world, and the monsters don’t even get to complain about me wham-booming this. Wham Boom.
Superpowers!
Powers I had this week…
The power of remembering how beautiful I am.
Superpowers I want.
Same as last time: the power of knowing, deeply, that every moment is treasure.
Salve. The Salve of Quieting.
It’s the Vicarage salve. When you rub this into your skin, it’s a bit like sinking into a warm pool. Or putting on noise-canceling headphones.
It’s this moment of AHHHHHHHHHHH DEEP EXHALE.
The hum-rattle-thrum of life’s buzziness just stops. There is you and your breath and sweet contentment. As if someone just turned off the vacuum cleaner in the background. As if the tap drip finally stopped. As if you had no idea how many things in the background (mental, physical, emotional) were causing interference until suddenly they all disappeared.
You relax into it, and then more, and then more. You set something down and then you set more things down, and then you remember words like tranquility and calm, and they are suddenly real.
If salve does not appeal, you can have this in tea form, as a bath, cocktail, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This band is from Marisa and they’re called Weird Hyper Electric Confusion, they play Irish trance music and it’s just one guy.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
I spend a lot of time saying “ohmygod I want to go somewhere and WRITE, I want to go on a writing retreat” and then I never do that because of the part where hahaha I’d probably have to sit around with Writers and talk about what I’m writing.
And then I realized I could invent my own that would be exactly what I want. Price super low because I need to leave town for a couple of weeks. It is called a Righting Retreat.
Partly because that sounds less intimidating (to me), and partly because it is true. We will Right things.
Come read the page because 1) I swear a lot, 2) I make a pun that is also truth, 3) there is a cloud that makes me smile, 4) I can’t be the only person who longs for this, 5) I just made a thing and would love company, 6) there is an extra-extra-extra low price for the first few people.
Not sure if there are still spots left because I am away, but give it a try!
—-> https://fluentself.com//righting/ —-> PASSWORD: oneword
Come play if you like…
Join me in the comments. Some of us share hard and good, some of us say hi, or maybe we’re on silent retreat. My ritual doesn’t have to be your ritual. Whatever works for you. Almost three hundred weeks of this and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like, it’s no big deal. And I am blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers. I love that you are here too.
P is for Possibilities.
It was Rally P, and it was perfect in every way, of course, because Nothing Is Wrong and This Moment Is Right, and This Moment Is Useful, and I am Taking A Breath, and that is what perfect means, to me.
Not that everything went the way I wanted it to, not that everything was “flawless”, whatever that means. Just that everything that happens at Rally is part of Rally, and here we are, on a marvelous shared adventure.
And since I was on a Stealth Adventure for Rally P, it was, in a sense, a private week of P.
P is for playing, what we do here, the starting-point of self-fluency.
P is for all the things that are possible.
Since there are far too many pleasurable P-words to play with, how about a compass of Possibilities?
North: Possibilities.
Pure potential.
Anything can happen.
Who knows what marvelous things are in store.
Northeast: Provision.
Provisions and provisioning, all forms of taking exquisite care of myself.
Caring for past me and for incoming me. Planting jolly ranchers for later.
East: Presence.
I am here now.
Right here, right now.
I want to be here now.
A breath for this moment, and for being with it.
Southeast: Pleasure.
Delighting in pleasure.
Trusting in pleasure.
Choosing pleasure.
I avoided this one for years, too scary, too intense. It was waiting for me though. And it was just right. It was even better than I thought it would be when I was hiding from it. Uh huh.
South: Permission.
An anchoring word, if there ever was one.
Something else I feared, because I thought it was about a lack of boundaries.
Actually it is about marvelous boundaries: glowingly healthy boundaries.
It is about play and it is about presence and it is about knowing what you want. It is about giving legitimacy to what you feel, need and want. Big stuff.
Southwest: Passion.
Thinking about a former lover who introduced me to this poem, by Helen Chasin.
It is called The Word Plum:
The word plum is delicious
pout and push, luxury of
self-love, and savoring murmurfull in the mouth and falling
like fruittaut skin
pierced, bitten, provoked into
juice, and tart fleshquestion
and reply, lip and tongue
of pleasure.
Yes, passion is luscious. And so are words. And so, for that matter, are plums. Although the lover in question had never had one. I have a weakness for people who are unfamiliar with ordinary things that are not ordinary at all. It is a thing.
West: Passage.
It is about preparation for the voyage.
It is about crossing.
We are always in a state of passage. Sometimes in a significantly more heightened state of crossing the line. This is what Rally is for, to facilitate passages. So you can come back with new awareness.
Southwest: Protection.
Safety, shelter, sanctuary, safe rooms. But also: privacy.
Knowing that you are held. Knowing that you are cared for. Knowing that nothing can get in that doesn’t need to. A force field that only allows in the qualities you want, in the amounts that feel safe and comfortable. Protection.
Other P words.
Paths and pathways. Peace and Peacefulness. Percolating. Providence. Plenty. Poetry.
Planting. Purpose. Persimmon. Participation. Picking (both up and also: choosing). Pink. Past. Ports. Portals. Portable. Porches. Privacy.
Painting. Positivity. Patience. Perception. Percepting. Precision. Perseverance. Purpose. Poise.
Polish. Publish. Private Eye.
Peonies. Posies. Parenthetical asides. Possess. Parades! Parks. Pouring. Pie. Pennies. Picnics. Pizazz. Protests. Pickles. Perch. Periwinkle. Pass. Process. Promenade.
Perspective, which is seeing the Possibilities. Playground. Play! Pert. Picturesque. Party, and Briana’s brother who takes his party with him. Pattern Recognition. Power. Preparation. Potential.
And of course we must visit Phrontisterey for such words as paizogony (it’s totally making out), palanquin, and pantopragmatic.
May it be so! And come play with me.
Thank you, letter P.
If you want to whisper words or sound effects that start with P, go for it.
If you want to share in any of the qualities and magical words I named here, you can.
They work like the salves in the Friday Chicken: just take some, there is always more.
Whispering loving spells that begin with P, for myself, and for anyone who wants…