What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Visions #224: popping up everywhere
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
What do I want.
I want pop-up shops in the Ballroom.
I want people to rent out the Red Rose Ballroom for holiday pop-up shops.
Is this really what I want?
I don’t know. Yes and no.
I want fun, creative endeavors. Daytime activities. Things that run zero risk of getting a noise citation from the city. I want a thriving, happy ballroom. And lots of people coming to see it, and maybe they will want to hold their event or class or workshop in the ballroom too!
I want that feeling of POP!
And I want to know that my ballroom is helping. That this space I built is the perfect simple solution for someone else’s problem.
What else do I know about popping?
Snap, crackle, pop! Excitement!
Mushrooms pop up! Good surprises pop up! As does popcorn. Pop-up books pop up, and they are the best.
When popping, what kind of popping is this?
Thriving.
This is about thriving.
It is also about possibility.
And fractal flowers. And ease.
What will help?
Having a talk with Hopeless Me who only sees all the ways everything can go wrong.
Making a safe room for the me who lost the magical bookshop.
Playing with the process this week at Rally (Rally!).
Taking lots of baths. Waiting on decisions. Letting more information reveal itself.
Doing things that POP.
Enjoying things that POP. Including bright fall colors. Crunching leaves. Eating popcorn. Wearing costumes.
And I will talk with my friend Mary about doing a pop-up shop in the Ballroom, since she is losing her shop next week.
Anything else?
This is definitely related to my current bout of Feeling Numb About The Chocolate Shop, which is related to Feeling Numb About Portal Land.
I am also noticing all the moments where I do not feel numb. Like when I think about Mary’s shop.
I feel very passionately about Mary’s shop. Actually, I wish I felt that passion for my chocolate shop.
And I feel very upset about her eviction, and about the way the city is changing.
Also I am noticing that I think that closing the shop will be good for her. So I am feeling upset and hopeful simultaneously, and these are not mutually exclusive.
It is interesting to feel This Is Wrong and also This Is Right at the same time, and to have them both be true.
This is also how I feel about my (proxy!) magical bookshop that I lost. So many tears. But/and: That was a good thing too.
Is there anything I’m not saying that I want to say?
POP! POP! POP! Up! Up! Up!
Popping is a beautiful vision.
I want the Ballroom to thrive. I want it to be filled with aliveness and vitality. I want this quality of vitality to be a reflection of everything in my life.
I want to be a bell of VITALITY and ALIVENESS.
The qualities inside of the wants:
Let’s see.
Possibility. Play. Vitality. Aliveness. Thriving. Delight. Flow. Popping Up.
And the superpower of Suddenly This Is True!
Also I just noticed that popularity, a word that I normally am not drawn to, has POP inside of it.
POP! I would like this for the Ballroom too.
What else do I want….
Some of these are secret agent code or silent retreat. Some are qualities and some are dreams. Some are re-asks and some are pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- Progress on the ops!
- Miracles everywhere.
- The ballroom gets bookings left and right, and this is a healing for the Spiegelsaal.
- This doesn’t require my input!
- Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this.
- Past me is a GENIUS.
- I have what I need, and I appreciate it.
- Hawaii.
- The Thanksgiving Rally (RALLY!) gets two more people, and this is right.
- I can see why this moment is good.
- Trust and steadiness.
- Ten weeks of wishes.
- A foundation of foundations.
This week’s ops?
This week is all about Operation Beckon — Boring Existential Crisis in the Key of N.
I will also look at the following:
- The life of a Chocolatier, part deux
- If C is not just for Chocolate, then….
- Operation 19-1-75
- The MAGIC EIGHT BALL REASONS
- Mission: I Have A Vision!
I’m playing with…
Trust. Trust. Trust. Napping. More trust.
Request!
Can you help support our magical Red Rose Ballroom by liking it on Facebook? And spreading the word about the Red Rose Ballroom to anyone you know who might want to run events or programs or parties in Portland?
Announcement!
There are two spots in the Thanksgiving Rally, which is my favorite Rally, and we are offering a crazy deal.
Get on the STANDBY list for Rally (Rally!)
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka soft of hearing and other impossible possibilities…
I didn’t find a reverse-hearing-aid, but Sarah mentioned hyperacusis, and that was incredibly helpful. It brought up lots of memories of the inner ear infection that messed up my life in so many different ways. And it turned out that having A Demonstrable Medical Thing was enough to convince the monsters that really powerful headphones and pink noise are a reasonable investment.
Though we had to rename headphones because monsters think headphones are Frivolous and Indulgent, so now we have Headspace Protectors. To protect our headspace.
I tried Maryann’s lip thing, and it is Not Horrible (thanks, Maryann!).
And everything else is ticking along. I will let it percolate and see what happens.
Big love to me-of-last-week, as always, for knowing what to ask.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #273: that might not have been cinnamon
It is Friday and we are here.
{a breath for Friday}
What worked?
Doing things much sooner/earlier than I normally would.
This is a version of setting it up.
Or
For example, I did entry for a meeting two days before it happened, instead of half an hour before. Good stuff.
Dolly Parton.
I was channelling her anyway this week (which might be related to my secret-project for Rally (Rally!) next week. It’s Rally B of the Alphabet Rallies, and my project has to do with BEACONS AND BOUNDARIES. And BELIEVING.
Dolly Parton is absolutely a beacon for me. She knows about both boundaries and believing. I am playing with this, and it is helping.
And then I came across this, which was so perfect.
Next time I might…
[Something to do with being patient with myself]
The thing these past two years have taught me is this:
Every time I think “oh wow, this is terrible timing”, it actually turns out later to have been just-right timing.
But my default reaction is still impatience with myself. Especially when I’m tired and things aren’t getting done. Or when I miss dance class.
Once I remember that Nothing Is Wrong, I also remember about What If All Timing Is Right Timing (Because It Pretty Much Always Turns Out To Be Later).
And even if that weren’t true, it’s still an opportunity to meet a stressful moment with gentleness, understanding, compassion and quiet whispers of my-love-you-are-okay.
Anyway, I don’t need to solve this right away. Just noticing how much cultural conditioning is in here. How deeply we believe that we are behind, missing out, not ________ enough.
Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Being woken up at 4am to have an argument over a misunderstanding. Or really: a misunderstanding over a misunderstanding. A breath for how completely miserable this is.
- A severe case of Chocolate Numbness. Proxy! A breath for not feeling and wanting to feel.
- My friend Mary is being evicted from her shop. A breath for the huge sadness of this situation, and for all the ways that Portland is no longer the city I fell in love with.
- Some people tried to break into my Ballroom a couple nights ago. A breath for safety.
- Didn’t make progress on the things I wanted to make progress on. Difficulty focusing. A breath for this.
- Cold moved into chest (movement is good!), leaving me in that uncomfortable state where everything is fine… as long as you’re vertical. A breath for needing more sleep.
- Big doubt, again, still, more of it. A breath for questioning.
- Inhale, exhale. Goodbye, mysteries and hard moments of this week.
Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- Having all the best ideas! A breath for miracles and for welcome surprises.
- So unbelievably excited for the class Max is doing on internal explorations of identity, called Into The Closet. Doing lots of prep work on my own. Take this class with me! A breath for the exact right thing just when you need it.
- The people who tried to break into my ballroom were foiled by our bad-ass lock. And while we still have to fix the lock, they weren’t able to get in. And they tried. Hard. A breath for security.
- I ran into Elizabeth right outside the Playground! A breath for two hugs, and for good surprises.
- Audrey and I went to Mary’s shop, and that was full of laughter. A breath for joy.
- I missed an appointment I’d been looking forward to, and that turned out to be the exact right thing. A breath for right timing.
- While I didn’t get to do any writing this week, I got to do lots of good thinking about the writing. A breath for expansiveness, flow and creative play.
- Yoga. Dance. A surprise cha cha. Walking. Movement. Warmth. Heat. Deliciousness. A breath for all forms of being a gazelle.
And thanks, Cherilyn, for the beautiful card. Nothing like an envelope addressed to Dear Havi Brooks to dispel my ludicrous fear of envelopes. Also postcards. There were lots of postcards this week and that was fun.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed.
♡ Undercover: XXXX
♡ Mission: One Sign (ongoing)
♡ Operation Green Button
♡ Operation Into The Closet, Part deux
♡ Operation Boring Existential Crisis In The Key Of N, part deux
♡ This week’s Mission I Have A Vision, Pre-emptively
♡ Operation End of Safari
♡ Mission: Chicken on a Mission With The Dread Piggle Gang
WHAM BOOM!
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of believing that everything is going to be okay.
And the superpower of knowing that someone else’s Stuff about me is not actually about me at all.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of seeing what needs to be seen, and being okay with it.
Salve.
The salve of reassurance.
This salve is like a wordless reminder that you are okay, that everything is going to be okay.
Or maybe it is better to describe it like this:
It is whatever you need and want to hear or remember in this moment, whispered through your skin.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band comes to us by way of my head cold, the resulting loss of ability to smell or taste anything, and the fact that at Hoppy House we buy our spices from the bulk section of the co-op, and store them in unlabeled jars.
That Might Not Have Been Cinnamon
They are loud and angry and put on a show that involves many, many costume changes. Also there is a tambourine.
Although, oddly enough, it’s just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. ANNOUNCEMENT.
You guys you guys you guys!
I wand to loudly (for me) recommend the monster coloring book, which solved many problems for me this week.
If you ever wonder, “Hey, how does Havi deal so well with fear?”, the answer is complex. But it involves the coloring book.
Or, the concepts in the manual that comes with the coloring book.
Get the Monster Manual & Coloring Book.
AND. If you know people in Portland and you can help spread the word about our Red Rose Ballroom or help do that on facebook, that would be hugely appreciated!
Come play if you like…
Join me in the comments. Some of us share hard and good, some of us check in with a hi or a ♡, or maybe we’re on silent retreat. My ritual doesn’t have to be your ritual. Whatever works for you. Almost three hundred weeks of this and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like, it’s no big deal. And I am blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers. I love that you are here too.
B is for…
I am thinking of a word and it starts with a B.
Every time I say this, my mind immediately goes to BELIEVE, and from there to Don’t Stop Believin’, and then I’m humming in my head all day….
Just a small town girl / Livin’ in a loooooooooooooonely world
There is a Voyage and it begins with a B.
Hahaha, but since this is a Journey song, the voyage is actually a journey. Even though I do not love the word journey, I do in this context. As a Michigan girl.
Anyway, it is almost Rally (Rally!), my favorite thing in the entire world. And while it is — good heaven — the 27th time I am doing this, as the second Rally in the Alphabet Carousel it is the Rally of B.
And we are getting ready to enter.
Anything can be a voyage. Just like how anything can be a door or a home or a project.
And each voyage or adventure gets to have qualities that define it, inform it, accompany it, infuse it with goodness.
So today I am playing with qualities and superpowers and magic words that begin with a B.
Qualities of the [Voyage that begins with a B] that begin with a B.
Well, some of them. Qualities and magic words.
- Beauty
- Boldness
- Boisterousness
- Bountiful
- Beach Day!
- Bond… Bond. Havi Bell Bond.
- Benediction
- Beckoning
- Beacon
- Bending
- Bonding
- Balance
- Bells
- Benefactor, Secret
- Bliss
- Bow and Bow
- Beatific
- Belonging
- Basking
- Blossoming
- Blooming
- Breathing
- Blessedness (something about this word makes me kind of itchy but the thing that it means is so beautiful)
- Bundles and batches
- Betterment
- Being
- Bearings (and also bears, who have paws)
- Buffers!
- Bubbles!
- Bounteousness
- Bigheartedness
- Bring into
- Bedecked
- Birth
- Bravery
- Bouncing
- Beaming
- Boundaries (my favorite B-word, of course)
Not to mention the wonderful superpower of Building and Believing. And the superpower of Bells and Bridges.
And other fun B things. Like butterscotch, blocks, bath time, becalmed. Bemusement and bafflement. And balloons. Biscuits! Buttmonsters! And things that are bonafide.
Also my travel agent is an AGENT and her name is Bee. Do you see how perfect this is? It is perfect.
OHMYGOD. I nearly forgot. B is also for Ballroom. I have a Ballroom. I have a Ballroom and it is Breathtaking.
Rallying around the B.
This week is Rally (Rally!), which is my favorite thing in the world.
It is going to be BEAUTIFUL.
I will tell you later (I keep promising this and eventually it will be the exact right moment and it will happen) about some of the specific things that are making these new Rallies extra-beautiful, but for now I am going to bounce around and delight in things that start with B.
I am going to walk under the beams and bells. As Bond Girl. As Havi Bell. As Havi Brooks, since my name is another thing that starts-with-a-B.
Not just that: I am going to BEAM. BEAMING is going to be the secret mission of this Rally. Beaming and Boundaries. Possibly beaming-boundaries. It will be the Blessing. It will be the Basics. I will be Basking in it.
Along with a Badonkadonk of Buttmonsters.
It is just the beginning. Of the week of B, and so many other things.
Play with me. How the commenting blanket fort works!
We can name things that begin with B.
We can enjoy these qualities and magic-words, or add more (addition, another wonderful word that begins with B!) of our own. Bellissima!
If you want to whisper-whoosh any qualities, words or sound effects that appeal to you, go for it. Boom!
If you want to share in any of qualities, you can. They work like the salves in the Friday Chicken: just take some, there is always more.
If you want to throw some superpowers into the pot for Rally, that is welcome.
Waving from the Playground! Whispering loving spells that begin with B and B and B, for myself, and for anyone who wants…
Visions #223: soft of hearing, and other impossible-possibilities
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
What do I want.
So many things, and I do not believe that they are possible.
So really my wish is to believe that they are possible?
Or maybe my wish is to release the monster-rules that say Seemingly Impossible Can’t Be Wished For, and to make space for LEGITIMACY: all wishes are valid.
Maybe both of those things. And maybe the actual wishes themselves.
I am just going to name some of these wishes, and I am going to call them the Impossible Possibilities. Not because they are necessarily impossible (though they feel impossible), but to placate the monsters who want to make sure that I know they are impossible. Yup. I know it. It’s right in the name.
And then I am going to connect to the qualities inside of the wished-for Impossible Possibilities, to see what I can learn.
Wish: A reverse hearing aid!
People who are hard of hearing can wear hearing aids that help them hear better.
I am super-HSP, and I hear too much: everything is too loud for me to the point of being unbearable. I want a hearing aid that makes the world quieter so that I can function in it more easily.
Soft of hearing. The opposite of hard.
Monsters: That’s called ear plugs, you idiot, and you already have them.
Me: Just let me name my wish, please. Remember? We are in the wishing world now.
I want to be able to turn down the sounds around me. Not just with noise-canceling headphones. Not by moving to a tiny farm in Idaho. I want something that makes the world quieter. That’s what I want.
Qualities: Quiet. Steadiness. Comfort. Ableness.
Wish: The Best Lip Things In The World.
I used to have the Best Lip Balm In The World.
It was made by Alchemilla, and it cost what felt like an insane amount of money, but it was so substantially better than any lip balm ever that I didn’t mind. They went out of business with no warning, and now I am panicking.
I also used to have the best lip color in the world, made by Sephora, something in between a gloss and a stain, now discontinued.
I want new lip balm and new lip color and I want them to be AMAZING. Life-changingly amazing, the way my previous ones were.
(You are welcome to leave suggestions in the comments, however I will continue to believe for now that these other things do not hold a candle to my lost lip loves.)
I want to believe that there is something that can replace this perfect-to-me thing.
Qualities: Comfort. Support. Lusciousness. Rightness. Welcome Surprises.
Wish: MIRACLE
This is about the chocolate shop (proxy!), and being an Accidental Chocolatier.
If I must be a chocolatier, I would prefer to make pretty much only one particular type of chocolates. It can come in a variety of flavors but it is a type.
I would like us to be a chocolate shop that has no marzipan, and hardly ever makes pralines. For example. Okay, those aren’t chocolates but pretend that they are because I don’t know how this metaphor works because I don’t eat chocolate because I quit sugar nearly fourteen years ago, and this is partly why I am not that invested in being a chocolatier, but due to [complicated reasons] I have to be a chocolatier for the next year to five years. Exhale.
I am not sure if it is possible to make money as a chocolate shop that is so narrow in its definition of what it wants to sell but this is what I want. I want 90% of our business to be about this hazelnut dark chocolate laced-with-caramel thing that just about everyone ADORES. And I want this to be profitable.
I do not want advice on this. I want to believe that we can be a chocolate shop that does not appear to be a specialty-chocolate shop but actually we make all or most of our money on one particular type of chocolate that is pleasurable for us to make.
Qualities: Enoughness. Resilience. Miracles. Luck. Playfulenss. Expansiveness. Welcome Surprises.
What else do I know about this?
Impossible wishes scare me. But I also kind of like them because something about the impossibility is freeing.
I would like so many impossible things, and I would like them not to be impossible. Like, for people to read contracts.
And here are the questions I want to ask myself:
- What impossible things have already come true?
- What have I been wrong about (in a good way)?
- What if I am wrong right now?
- What can I do to get more of these qualities in my life?
- What if there are solutions that I can’t see yet?
In my experience, there is always another way. And, in my experience, I am usually not going to notice it and I have to remember that it is there.
Show yourselves, beautiful alternative paths. I am ready.
The qualities inside of the wants:
Last’s weeks work for me!
Possibility. Play. Presence. Pleasure. Plenty. Prosperity. Purpose. Palpable.
And the superpower of Really Good Surprises.
Quelle Surprise!
What might help?
Throwing it all into the pot. Wearing a costume.
More things that starts with an a.
What I want.
Some of these are secret agent code or silent retreat. Some are qualities and some are dreams. Some are re-asks and some are pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- Progress on the ops!
- Miracles everywhere.
- The ballroom has its own magic, just like the Spiegelsaal.
- This doesn’t require my input!
- Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this.
- Past me is a GENIUS.
- I sleep like the happiest baby.
- I have what I need, and I appreciate it.
- Hawaii.
- People are signing up for Rally (RALLY!), and planning the rallies is super fun and exciting.
- I can see why this moment is good.
- Trust and steadiness.
This week’s ops?
- The life of a Chocolatier, part deux
- If C is not just for Chocolate, then….
- Operation 19-1-75
- The MAGIC EIGHT BALL REASONS
- Operation A Loved Little Thing, take 4
- Mission: I Have A Vision!
- Mission Alimanator
- Operation BECKON II (Boring Existential Crisis in the Key of N)
I’m playing with…
Trusting the seeds.
Request!
Can you help support our magical Red Rose Ballroom by liking it on Facebook? And spreading the word about the Red Rose Ballroom to anyone you know who might want to run events or programs or parties in Portland?
Announcement!
Do you want to be on the STANDBY list for Rally?
There is a STANDBY list for Rally (Rally!)
If you have the availability to come at the last minute, we occasionally have super deals so get on the list.
Rally B is full, but get on the list so we can sneak you into a November Rally at a VERY discounted rate. Also, I was supposed to miss one of the November Rallies but things moved around, and I will be rallying it up for ALL of them!
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka yes, I would like to accidentally win some things…
It is hilarious that I asked to accidentally win things. I was thinking about things like marathons. But then I accidentally won a free night at a swanky hotel that day. And I accidentally won an eBay bid. And I accidentally won an understanding. So now I am giggling, and I want to notice more things that I am winning without realizing it.
And, again: big love to me-of-last-week for knowing what to ask.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #272: Croquembouche! Excuse me, I have to go embellish a praline, wink wink
It is Friday and we are here.
{a breath for Friday}
What worked?
French.
French helps a lot, I’ve noticed.
I was working on a Chocolaterie-related mission and hating it and hating the analogy. I needed some secret agent code that sounded a little wink-wink possibly-kinda-dirty.
Like: must go EMBELLISH a PRALINE, if you know what I mean…
Somehow from there I decided to just use pastry-related words, since they already sound like code.
Vol-au-vent! Croquembouche! Religieuse! Dacquoise!
With a little Italian thrown in for good measure. Sfogliatelle!
It was the best. I walked around all week going, Vol-au-vent! I am going to go sort out the Croquembouche! I will do this for 30 minutes, more or less, and then some Dacquoise!
I am thinking all of this in the sort of “Zut Alors!” sense of that SNL sketch.
Dressing up.
Nothing like a costume.
In this case, a leopard-print wiggle dress of excellent Italian construction.
I looked absolutely smashing.
Bond Girl got a night out. There was wine. There was mystery. There was a game that no one was watching. It was exactly the right thing.
Next time I might…
Take it easier?
The week after Rally comes with all kinds of integration challenges.
As well as something you could call Formerly Invisible Identity Crises. That is, you already were in an identity crisis about [thing], you just didn’t see it and hahahahaha now you do.
This is a normal part of learning all about what you do want: suddenly all the things that weren’t-and-aren’t working are super apparent. It isn’t necessarily fun. But it’s normal. And it requires some time to fall apart a little.
Anyway, once I remembered this, everything got significantly less hard.
Other things that helped, aside from napping:
- Saying: “This burrito is real“
- The concept of “transactive memory“
- Looking for clews
- “I’ll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.”
Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- So. Much. Work. A breath for feeling completely overwhelmed.
- Various situations both practical and existential related to the Chocolate shop. A breath for not knowing if this is the path.
- Wishing the chocolate shop was an actual chocolate shop instead of a proxy chocolate shop. A breath for dissatisfaction.
- I have a cold. A breath for transition.
- The sheer number of missions and ops that I’m currently working on and playing with. A breath for this.
- Yoga got pushed aside this week. A breath for needing steadiness and missing the practice.
- Big doubt, again, still. A breath for feeling deeply unsure.
- Inhale, exhale. Goodbye, mysteries and hard moments of this week.
Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- All the things that happened at Rally (Rally!) last week have been making this week amazing. A breath for miracles and for welcome surprises.
- I signed up for this class that Max is doing called Into The Closet, and I am so excited. It’s almost like it was invented with me in mind. A breath for the exact right thing just when you need it.
- Autumn is here and overnight all the trees went yellow and red. A breath for beauty and the crunching of leaves underfoot.
- Monaco. A breath for being Bond Girl and wearing a sexy Italian dress and loving every minute of it.
- The perfect toast. To something special. A breath for something special.
- Dance class and good instructors. A breath for understanding a thing I didn’t understand before.
- The Treatbook! I wrote a special ebook at Rally for the people in the Year of Emptying and Replenishing, and we were able to send that out. A breath for sharing.
- An EXTRA good this week, because it was so damn good. Thank you, everyone, who shared with me about why I would make a good chocolatier. I cried. In a good way. A breath for being seen.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed:
Undercover: Trot Trot
Mission: Entry
Operation Ask An Animal Because Why Not
Operation Into The Closet, Part I
Operation Boring Existential Crisis Key Of N
This week’s Mission I Have A Vision, Pre-emptively
Operation Iguanarama Phase II
Mission: The final sending-out of The Brautigan Wing
WHAM BOOM!
Thanks also to Jane, who said — in response to me complaining about how hard something is: “This totally sucks to the power of a really, really high number. The type of number that has to be written down using some sort of weird mathematical notation.”
That helped. So much.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpowers of Glamour, Boundaries and catching all the right buses.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of everything is just sliding into place.
Salve.
The salve of seeing your strengths.
I thought of this because of all the amazing things people said about why I’d be great at owning a chocolate shop. Why can’t I see these attributes and qualities that everyone else knows I have? That’s what this salve does.
Whatever you are good at, whatever you glow at, whatever beautiful things happen as a result of your you-ness, your suchness….
A dab of this salve, and you begin to get a feeling of this. You remember forgotten skills. You return to things you love. You find pleasure again in all the sweet things. This salve smells like cocoa butter and adoration. It heals blisters. You can put a little behind your ears for sweet dreams.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band comes from something I said at the Floop.
Why Can’t You Cancel A Sweater
This is obviously another local band — I think I saw them at Bunk Bar.
And yes. It’s obviously just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. ANNOUNCEMENT.
You guys you guys you guys!
There is a STANDBY list for Rally (Rally!)
If you have the availability to come at the last minute, we occasionally have deals so get on the list.
Rallies B and C full, but get on the list so we can get you into a November Rally. Also, I was supposed to miss one of the November Rallies but things moved around, and I will be rallying it up for ALL OF THEM, including the Thanksgiving Rally aka Hermitsgiving aka Run Away Rally!
AND. If you know people in Portland and you can help spread the word about our Red Rose Ballroom or help do that on facebook, that would be hugely appreciated!
Come play if you like…
Join me in the comments. Some of us share hard and good, some of us check in with a hi or a ♡, or maybe we’re on silent retreat. My ritual doesn’t have to be your ritual. Whatever works for you. Almost three hundred weeks of this and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like, it’s no big deal. And I am blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers. I love that you are here too.