What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Visions #188: turning around
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Note! I am still away on silent retreat at the VICARAGE.
So this week’s visions will be quieter than usual because: silent retreat!
Thing 1: Finding the fountain.
Here’s what I want:
Alon gave me a clew before I left for the Vicarage.
And the clew was Find the fountain.
Not a fountain. Find the fountain.
And I have seen some fountains. But this is about finding the fountain.
The qualities inside of the want:
Presence. Revealing. Water. Passage. Delight. Resonance. Recognition. Internal quiet. Willingness. Trust. Congruence. Remembering.
And the superpower of following instincts: knowing when to turn left, when to look up, when to pause.
Ways this might work:
Listening for the splashing sounds. Knowing that water holds and transports and cleanses.
I’m playing with…
Taking things to that fountain.
Thing 2: Easy transition.
Here’s what I want:
This week I return from the Vicarage and I am not ready to return from the Vicarage, and oh, process.
I want this transition to be easy, pleasurable, straightforward.
The qualities inside of the want:
Protection. Tenderness. Vulnerability. Passage. Safety. Shelter. Simplicity. Laughter. Presence. Delight. Wonder. Crossing. Readiness. Unveiling. Revealing. Watching. Welcoming. Trust.
And the superpowers of This Doesn’t Have To Be Hard and I Don’t Have To Do Anything Because It Is Already Happening..
Ways this might work:
Well, you know. The fountain probably knows.
And the compass. I can use the compass.
I’m playing with…
Silent retreat.
Thing 3: Time for entry and exit.
Here’s what I want:
There is a version of me who knows how to bring the Vicarage with her, and who knows how to make enough room for all the things I will be feeling about the return. I want to access what she knows.
And I want to make this the softest, quietest landing possible.
The qualities inside of the want:
Sweetness. Steadiness. Acknowledgment. Comfort. Care. Harmony. Wisdom. Patience. Steadfastness. Grounding. Enthusiasm. Sovereignty. Hope.
And the superpower of being able to take exquisite care of myself. Exquisite care. Yes.
Ways this might work:
I don’t have to know this yet.
I’m playing with…
Being clear about how I want to feel.
Noticings about the things I want this week…
I know so much more about what I want than I think I do. And I care so much less about the how than I ever have before.
Trust trust trust trust trust trust trust. And taking exquisite care of all of my selves.
Bonus wishes, please!
Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- Elasticity.
- Letting silent retreat be its own buffer.
- Sunshine.
- People who are enthusiastic about my return.
- Playmate.
- Stones.
- Clues
- Treasure.
- Rest.
- Flowers and secret flowers and all the flowers.
- This is the right time to come back.
- Following the compass. Vitality leads.
I’m playing with…
When you love something, you create safety for it. Like with a tiny, sweet thing. So what about when I am my own tiny sweet thing?
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I’m going to take a silent retreat on this too. Will report back once I’ve returned and landed.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #237: One if by land two if by sea
Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I am in my second week of my two weeks away at the VICARAGE. Two weeks of delicious away, and I won’t say much about what or where or how or why, because: silent retreat!
So: a brief chicken, and a place to play.
What worked?
Silent retreat!
Consciously choosing when to enter into conversation.
But mainly reserving the right to use silent retreat as a way of being. Silent meals, with Potter the mouse. Silent everything. Just to see what it feels like.
Next time I might…
Apologize less.
And remember that not everything requires a response.
The hard.
- Questions that lead to more questions.
- Flux.
- I don’t want to be done yet.
The good.
- Horizon.
- Water.
- This is where I live.
- Time.
- Space.
- Harmony and congruence.
- The knight and the key.
- Dance.
- Realizations and epiphanies.
- Appreciation for the me who set this up and the me who will return.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of noticing tiny and useful things.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of Easy Transitions and also the superpower of Hahahahahaha This Is Actually Ridiculously Easy.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band plays calypso music and is always having a good time.
Bird With A Taco.
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
I recommend the class on TIME. You’ll need it for the Year of Emptying and Replenishing (password: compass), which begins soon and is going to be amazing.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Hi there, February.
Hello, new month!
Time to passage between the months again and notice things.
Passaging out of January. What worked in January?
Knowing that two weeks of silent retreat at the Vicarage were waiting for me at the end.
I never would have been able to do all the things that needed doing without that shining light at the end of the tunnel.
Dancing every day.
Speaking my mind.
Getting close to the ground. Following instinct. Remembering that Nothing Is Wrong. This was truly the month of Actually Nothing Is Wrong.
So long, January. Things I might try differently next time?
Noticing when Insecure Me shows up. It’s usually when I haven’t been sleeping and yoga-ing. When she is at the front of the V, there is a lot of unnecessary pain.
Taking the nap (or the bath or the walk) before I think I need it.
No teaching. January is not for teaching. January is for writing.
Passaging into February. Hello, February!
Hi. Hi.
I can’t wait to meet you.
Qualities I want for February.
Pleasure. Peacefulness. Steadiness. Delight. Vitality. Attentiveness. Anticipation. Presence. Grace. Silliness. Appreciation. Harmony. Wonder. Trust. Serendipity. Shelter. Adventure. Passage.
Let’s choose words for February.
I’m going with the word in the calendar: VOYAGE.
And, of course: Vicarage.
And the superpowers of V.I.C.A.R.A.G.E.
Vital internal compass aligning and resetting to access and glow (with) energy.
I’m turning the page in the Stompopolis calendar.
Can I just tell you how exactly made-for-me last month’s words and images were? The ENTRY and the vortex stone and especially-especially the superpower of Nothing Is Wrong.
It was just right.
And this month looks to just as perfect. The word is VOYAGE (Look! I am on one right now!). And the superpower is easy transitions, which is, quite possibly, the thing I am craving most in my life right now.
Additional February superpowers?
I detest valentine’s day and I will be back just in time for it, so maybe there is a superpower that has to do with pristine force fields. Or with extracting the pure essence of sweetness from surrounding bullshit.
What else?
Something about flowers. And, as always, TRADE WINDS.
The current knows what to do. Use the trade winds!
The superpower of finding the fountain. The superpower of the right companions at the right moments. The superpower of a time and a place for everything.
Things I’m working on and playing with in February.
Being receptive to new configurations.
Dry Dock: the time between the end of the 2012 Floop and the beginning of the 2013 Floop at the end of this month.
Letting things be easier than I think they’re going to be.
Using the fact that No, Really, Nothing Is Wrong to remember that this moment is right.
Things I’m looking forward to in February.
Hanging out with Incoming Me at the Vicarage.
Finding the fountain.
Voyages, passages and crossing.
Horizon and water.
Reunion. Coming home. Playmate. Delight.
February Rally (Rally!). First Rally since September. This will be amazing.
The bout against Cherry City. Sometimes a friendly is just the thing.
Tu B’shvat. The birthday of the trees.
What February could be like.
Peaceful and inspired. Full of doors opening at the exact right moments.
Slightly future me says…
Pay attention to pleasure: texture, taste, softness, your feet on the floor, rhythm. Participate in — and delight in — the vitality of being alive.
Naming the moon.
This is a tradition I borrowed from Waverly. You can read more about how I do it if you like.
This will be the moon of new flowers.
And?
I want to be here now.
Goodbye, January. Thank you for everything. Goodbye everything that is done. Thank you for being done. Mmhmm.
Hello, February. I am touching you on the cheek.
Come in, come in. Let’s cross. Over and through.
Play with me…
I mess around with entry and exit each month, going with whatever shows up.
For other versions, peek at 2011: July / August / September / October / November and December. Or 2012: January / February / March / April / May. A love letter to June / July / August / September / October / November / December.
And of course last month.
Feel welcome to deposit notes for your entry into February here, if you like. Or drop off some wishes. Or leave flowers.
As always, we make this a safe space by not telling each other what to do, how to be or how to feel. We make room for each other.
Wishing you a February that is pleasurable, supportive, and full of unexpectedly good things. And love. All the love.
Visions #187: I put the treat in silent retreat.
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Note! I am away on silent retreat at the VICARAGE.
So this week’s visions will be quieter than usual because: silent retreat!
Thing 1: Noticing all the noticings.
Here’s what I want:
To notice all the things that want noticing.
To be with them. But mainly to be with myself while I notice them.
The qualities inside of the want:
Quiet. Attentiveness. Receptivity. Shelter. Spaciousness. Containment. Belonging. Pleasure. Welcoming. Strength. Congruence. Harmony. Readiness. Willingness. Trust.
And the superpower of looking up at the right moment.
Ways this might work:
It might take some crying. It might take a lot of walking.
I’m playing with…
Remembering that there is time.
And if I stop or if I forget, nothing is wrong.
Thing 2: Giving myself permission.
Here’s what I want:
To give myself permission.
Permission to do, permission not to do. Permission to want and permission not to want. Permission to like and permission to not like anything. Including permission!
The qualities inside of the want:
Tenderness. Vulnerability. Pleasure. Safety. Curiosity. Shelter. Patience. Wonder. Play. Desire. Quiet. Listening. Curling up. Rest. Contrast. Breath.
And the superpower of This Doesn’t Have To Be Fraught Because It Can Be Playful.
Ways this might work:
I do have a slip…
And you know what else has a slip? A boat.
I’m playing with…
Talking to Incoming Me about this.
Thing 3: Everything that is not here fades away.
Here’s what I want:
While I am at the Vicarage I am not thinking about Stompopolis or Hoppy House or the playmate or [challenging thing] or [X].
I mean, it is quite likely that I will think about all these things. And maybe that will be great. Perspective! But mainly what I want is to have these things feel loved but not like something I need to focus on.
What I want is to be completely in the experience of Vicarage-me and how she is while at the Vicarage. I want to be living the essence of the Year of Emptying & Replenishing (Y.E.A.R.)! (password: compass).
The qualities inside of the want:
Presence. Commitment. Steadiness. Grounding. Alignment. Resonance. Radiance. Humming and glowing.
And the superpower of being both a light and a bell.
Ways this might work:
Silent retreat.
I’m playing with…
Silent retreat.
Noticings about the things I want this week…
Presence. It’s big. Both being present, and being present with my own presence, and being present with everything that is present. Also: presents.
All the presence/presents. May it be so.
Bonus wishes, please!
Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- Presence.
- The compass.
- Remembering what matters.
- Making space for all the things that need space.
- Smiling.
- Balance.
- The clue that me-from-five-years-ago knew about: it has to do with an island. This is the fifth place of the five places, my love.
- Treasure.
I’m playing with…
Putting the treat in silent retreat.
Paying attention. Getting quiet. Even quieter than that.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I’m going to take a silent retreat on this too. Will report back once I’ve returned and landed.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #236: Havi Bell is far away
Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I am currently away at the VICARAGE, and I am both on silent retreat and also taking silent retreat!
So this will be a very brief chicken, and, as always, a space for you to play if you like.
What worked?
Trusting. Playing. Experimenting.
I borrowed from Rally (Rally!) the idea that Everything That Happens At Rally is Part Of Rally, Even When It Feels Like It’s Taking You Away From Rally.
In other words, even when not-relaxing things happen as I am away on silent retreat, they are somehow part of the bigger experience and they are potentially useful/important.
Deciding in advance this is the filter for an experience has an astonishing effect on how I feel.
Next time I might…
Take more time for entry.
As always: preparing for the voyage makes everything better.
The hard.
- Being off, because: time off. Even when it is what I wanted.
- Doubting myself.
- Missing. (Things, people, occasions, moments, colors, smells…)
- Longing.
- Seeing truth.
- Knowing that this time is going to end sooner than I think.
The good.
- Horizon.
- Water.
- Body.
- Time.
- Space.
- Peacefulness.
- Glowing.
- Seeing truth.
- Presence.
- The compass.
- Being the pirate queen, on the water.
- Freedom and spaciousness. Pleasure and grace
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of knowing that there is a time and a place for everything, and following my instinct about when and where.
And a superpower I want next week.
Remembering why this is important.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is from Richard and they play loud, happy swing tunes. Give it up for my new favorite act:
Slam O’Clock
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
I recommend the thing that I used most this week: the monster coloring book and manual.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.