What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Visions #171: remembering the superpower of Actually, No.
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: End of an era.
Here’s what I want:
So, hilariously, as soon as I made my renewed commitment to be true to my capital-V vision (remember?), all kinds of changes, big and small, began happening in the business.
As a result of doing a lot of meditating on what’s next, I’ve realized it’s time to discontinue the non-sucky yoga kit and the shiva nata starter kit.
We also won’t be stocking any dvds in the Toy Shop at Stompopolis.
But they’re still really great kits. They should get to be loved. So I want the last two dozen starter kits and the remaining yoga kits to find their way to their people, and to lovingly close this piece.
Ways this might work:
I can tell you guys. Here, in fact.
If you’re been thinking about a starter kit or a yoga kit, you could get one. While we still have them.
The Starter Kit is here: http://shivanata.com/learn-dance-of-shiva
(You can also choose to get just the dvd if you want.)
And the non-sucky yoga kit is here. We had three left and then the First Mate found a few more in the Toy Shop. So I think there are still three total. By the time I got around to publishing this, these were gone.
Okay. Now you know.
I could also write to the Havi’s Announcing a Thing list? And to the Floop. But I have a busy few weeks and I would really just like to close out this part of the business.
I’m playing with…
Letting things change. Trusting. Agreeing to the new.
Oh man. I wish there was an expression that meant the same thing as “surrendering to flow” that didn’t make me all twitchy. I can feel the feeling and it is beautiful and true. And I just don’t like the words.
Maybe that’s another ask. I need secret agent code for this!
Thing 2: Thinking differently about time.
Here’s what I want:
Actually I’m thinking about this in a number of contexts. How everyone I know is pretty much always more depleted than they realize. And yet we still overestimate our capacity.
And. I’d like to set aside three weeks prep time for next big event.
Past me was crazy smart and left me two whole weeks instead of one, which was brilliant, and then one got eaten by an emergency.
Obviously stuff always comes up. But still. Three weeks. One week for closing things down. One week for chrysalis and hiding.
And one week for holy shit things came up and I couldn’t close down.
There are other applications for this. It’s also related to my big realization about next year.
Ways this might work:
I’m planting it during the Crossing. Because everything that I planted at last year’s Crossing came true.
I’m playing with…
Knowing what I want.
Thing 3: Perfect simple solutions.
Here’s what I want:
Ease. Resolution. Containment. Trust. Presence. Simplicity.
Ways this might work:
The person who thinks they need something from me in compensation realizes that they have everything they need, and that I have endless love for them.
I’m playing with…
Believing that it can change that easily.
Or maybe I can’t believe that, but somehow my calm, steady, loving presence with this is changing how I experience this, and everything else.
Thing 4: The Crossing.
Here’s what I want:
Last year I ran an eight day retreat-thing called Crossing the Line.
And it was the most incredible thing that has happened in my life. It changed everything. (Laughs!) Dear god. It changed everything.
All the wishes came true, some in very unexpected ways.
Tonight we begin again. The second Crossing. I’m not doing this again for three more years. So this is the time.
Anyway, I know that a bunch of crazy wonderful things are about to start changing. And I am asking for ease, steadiness, sweetness, flow, simplicity, presence, pleasure and space.
And what B named “painless wish-fulfillment”. Yes please. May it be so.
From her lips to god’s ear. Amen and amen.
Ways this might work:
Trust. Faith. Surprises. Miracles.
It just could.
I’m playing with…
The superpower of Actually, Seemingly Impossible Things Do Not Have To Be Impossible At All, which will remind me to investigate whatever internal rules say otherwise.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted to add alligators, and I have been doing that.
Then I wanted to write about the eight rules that are not rules, and I realized that they are the rules of a game, and that two of them are secret. Yay.
Next I wanted next steps for a perfect simple solution, and I wrote a simple but difficult letter that is full of truth. And now I am not thinking about that situation until the Crossing is over.
My ask about the shavasana year planted *very* good things, and now I know what I want to do! Feeling good.
Playful playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Here or on your own or in your head. It’s all fine. Or call silent retreat!
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
If you’re looking for suggestions or heart-sighs or anything else related to your wish, you will need to ask for that because our default mode is giving each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We make space for people’s wishes.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #221: Let it be said.
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
The hard stuff
Hard thing is still hard.
The situation that tore apart my week last week has greatly calmed down.
Gott sei dank.
But it’s still a situation. And I still am unclear as to how it will be lovingly and peacefully resolved.
I don’t know what to do or when or how.
Thrown for a loop.
Past me (that is, me-from-March) left a marvelous present for me from this week.
Except she didn’t tell me about it for some reason.
And I’m pretty sure that she wanted me to forget about the surprise until the last minute so that I couldn’t try to get out of it.
But. Finding out at the last minute threw me into chaos for a little bit.
Busy.
I did not like being busy, and this was very busy.
And then I had monsters about the busy and about the reasons for the busy, and about other people being too busy for me, and so on.
Scared.
I forgot about TRUTH (everything is okay), and went into fear.
An epiphany that I did not like!
Stupid incredibly useful realization!
I mean, I am actually thrilled to have this missing piece of information because it helps me solve an old stuck pattern from THEN.
But ugh it was right there the whole time.
Yup. Resistance to internal wisdom.
Deep tissue massage.
And the situation that required it.
Agh I hate this so much.
Any form of people pushing against what is, when I tell them what is.
For example, if I tell you that my whole body is tight and in pain because of [X traumatic things that all happened this summer], the proper response to that is something like oh sweetie, that sucks. It is not: WOW WHY ARE YOU SO TIGHT.
That is a small example of a bigger thing that keeps happening that I find annoying. I was in my stuff about this. The thing that is. Just deal with it, please. And then say: oh sweetie, that sucks.
Thoughts going round and round.
This resolved itself. But it took a while. And a lot of practice.
The good stuff
First ever Fake Beach Day a success, says Havi.
It wasn’t a beach, but it still kind of felt like beach day.
Except that I was cozy and warm and indoors while it poured down rain outside.
Also the morning of Fake Beach Day was spent at a cafe, and at this cafe was a sandwich. It wasn’t a life-changing sandwich like the one of a few Friday Chickens ago, but it was delicious.
And a smile. It was a very good smile. Very-very.
Chrysalis.
I spent most of this week on Chrysalis, preparing for the eight days of running Crossing the Line.
And talking intensely with slightly future me.
Hiding and retreating.
I spent my Chrysalis sleeping, napping, descending to the floor to be in a state of yoga, and taking lots of baths.
And writing. Avoiding everyone and everything.
It was BEAUTIFUL.
A surprise from past-me.
Past-me is a total wackopants crazed genius, let it be said.
Best present ever.
It might have taken me a while to be fully appreciative of the surprise, but man, what a great surprise. Brilliant.
I loved it.
Deep tissue massage.
It helped.
Support.
The Floop. The First Mate. Marisa. My playmate.
So very grateful.
Huge huge huge realizations.
So many things I understand now that I didn’t understand before. I have so much more information about what and why.
I see all the ways that I had forgotten the vision or wasn’t being true to the vision, but I also see all the ways that this was absolutely perfect.
And I know what is next, and I’m excited. Thrilled, even.
I met the newest version of slightly-future me, and she is amazing.
And not at all who I thought.
This is trippy!
Incoming me knows all this wild stuff about little-kid-me. She is bringing me back to things I knew and forgot.
Playtime playtime playtime playtime.
My playmate and I had playdates all week, and it was intense and beautiful and new.
Also we bonded over a secret serum (pun noticed and rejoiced over).
I am loving every moment of this.
I stopped being scared.
Because I remembered.
Endless yoga.
This week I spent at least three hours a day in yoga time.
Normally this much yoga-ing means either a very happy Havi, or a not-doing-great Havi who is self-medicating.
And while it’s true that it was a lot of pain that reminded me to descend to the floor, once I was there everything got better.
This week was a taste of how things are when I am taking care of myself first and as the main thing that I do. This was important.
Also I did Long, Slow and Deep each night that I was gone (four nights in a row), and that was pretty incredible. Thank you, again, Gaye. And thank you, Bryan. And thank you, everything that ever happened that brought me to this.
The young doorman who said “YOU’RE sunny!” and then stared at me with puppy eyes.
Sometimes being flirted with is the cure to everything.
Tigers made it to the world series.
I feel strongly about this. And about how great this is.
Let’s not talk about the Giants, because I can’t even stand to think about it. We’ll deal with whatever happens tonight next week.
Right now we’re just rejoicing for the Tigers.
Background: I was a kid in Michigan in 1984, and that world series was just about the most exciting thing that ever happened ever.
Tabstravaganza! Or: what’s Havi been up to with all those open tabs?
- This piece on how to fake your way through Spinoza is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Via my brother who is @ezbrooks in the Twitter bar.
- I really have no idea why everyone I know does not own a monocle, come on people.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is brought to you courtesy of the First Mate…
Gravity Is Getting Stronger.
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
The shiva nata starter kit and the non-sucky yoga kits are being discontinued. These are the last of them.
This is your chance if you want it.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Visions #170: Just add an alligator.
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: Just add an alligator.
Here’s what I want:
It is now the season when it is far too cold and wet to hold Beach Day — my so-called “clandestine executive business meeting” — on an actual beach.
So I hid in a cafe and held Beach Day there. Built some invisible sandcastles.
And I met two lovely people who reminded me, accidentally, about the importance of adding alligators. When in doubt, just throw in an alligator. Everything is better when you add alligators.
What this means (to me, right now) is this: how can something that I’m currently taking way too seriously become a little more lighthearted and playful?
So I want to remember this question over the coming week and beyond. And I want to apply alligators to some things that feel stuck.
Ways this might work:
We have lots of alligators (they’re called alligatoroos) at the Stompopolis and the Playground.
I can ask the question. How would this situation change if I added alligators?
And of course I can conjure up silly little creatures to follow me around. Like this guy, who is not really an alligator but close enough, also what a schmoo-face!
/—{^~^}
I’m playing with…
Adding more alligators. Applying alligator to every possible situation until it is either funnier or less annoying.
Thing 2: Writing about the 8 rules that are not really rules.
Here’s what I want:
To get this material out of my head and onto paper/computer in some form.
Ways this might work:
Talking it out with Harmony. Or with Marisa. One of those people is real!
Maybe doing some stone skippings.
I’m playing with…
Setting the wish here. Finding out what I know about this.
Thing 3: The next steps in a perfect simple solution.
Here’s what I want:
The not-amicable situation has become a significantly-more-amicable situation but there is still a lot to hammer out.
And I don’t have any bandwidth for this right now because I’m deep in preparation for Crossing the Line, the eight day event that I am leading.
So I need a perfect simple solution to reveal itself please.
Ways this might work:
I don’t know.
I’m asking.
I’m playing with…
Doing yoga on it. Sleeping on it. Putting it in water.
Thing 4: The shavasana year.
Here’s what I want:
I’m going to embark on an experiment that has to do with emptying out and replenishing, deep exit to prepare for entry.
And I want to investigate what that might entail.
Ways this might work:
I plan to take this question and this desire with me into the Crossing.
And let it unravel and reconfigure.
I’m playing with…
Legitimacy: wanting the thing that I want even when it feels counterintuitive or problematic.
Presence. Patience. Simplicity. Pleasure.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Huh. Last week’s asks were remarkably effective.
I wanted a home for the Wishing Hour, and now that home is Fridays. This also solves my ask from two or three weeks ago about changing how I do Fridays.
Then I wanted to stay true to the Vision, and while that happened in kind of a weird way, it has absolutely been happening. Everything that is not part of the vision is just dropping away.
Next I wanted a swift and loving resolution to a tragic misunderstanding, and that is well on the way. We’re still sorting out details, but the deep anger that was directed at me has subsided, and been replaced with curiosity, compassion and a willingness to negotiate. Thank god.
Then I wanted stuff to change with Thursdays, and actually metaphor mouse helped me figure out the perfect thing.
And I wanted to shorten the Embarking Anthology, which did not happen at all because of the giant emergency that took over my life last week, but I have thoughts about how I want to do this. And it is related to adding alligators. So there.
Playful playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Here or on your own or in your head. It’s all fine. Or call silent retreat!
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
If you’re looking for suggestions or heart-sighs or anything else related to your wish, you will need to ask for that because our default mode is giving each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We make space for people’s wishes.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #220: Stroke. Glide. Glide.
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Let’s just say it. This was the week of being Shat Upon.
Literally and metaphorically.
It was also the week of going with that. It was the week of flow, because there is only flow. It was the week of hey let’s just keep on skating.
Stroke. Glide. Glide.
The hard stuff
Seriously. What is with all the shitting on me.
I am currently pretending to be the heroine in a (so far pretty terrible) romantic comedy.
Birds needed to shit on me this week. Twice in as many days. First my jeans, then my favorite scarf.
I’m not really clear on how or when the romance or the comedy plays a part in any of this but the part about being covered in bird shit is completely taken care of.
Of course, given the way I was metaphorically shat upon all week, it kind of worked.
A conundrum. And some soul questioning.
Everything reconfigures. Everything changes. Everything dies. This is truth.
Still, some reconfigurations are less expected than others.
What do you do when the one person who has consistently had your back for the last ten years suddenly and inexplicably turns on you?
That was a question this week. It was one of them.
Everything is different now.
That’s probably a good thing. But it doesn’t necessarily always feel like a good thing.
Plans.
Every single thing I planned to do this week was derailed by the Emergency Situation (I am fine, everyone breathe) that showed up Sunday.
The hardest letter.
I thought July brought the hardest letters to receive and to write, but actually this week: harder.
It seems I’m getting quite skilled at receiving heart-shatteringly awful pieces of information from people I love.
Oh heartache.
Not of the romantic kind. Silent retreat!
Misunderstandings.
There is nothing worse (for me) than being misunderstood.
May all misunderstandings be dissolved in love. And this one. Especially this one.
Destruction.
Taking apart what has been built. Undoing and then undoing some more.
This year.
It’s been one long bootcamp in loss and pain. With bonus exams in the subject of perceived betrayals, misunderstandings, broken friendships and goodbyes.
I am thinking a lot about the symptoms and indicators of being in shock. I have them.
Still a bit wobbly.
And the cold that didn’t want to go away took its sweet time leaving this week.
Baseball.
You know what’s great about being a Giants fan and a Tigers fan?
Writhing in agony while watching both the teams you madly love embarrass themselves shamefully in the post-season — AT THE SAME TIME.
Oh wait, that’s not fun at all.
I mean, yes. They somehow made it to the post-season. That is very exciting. But seriously, this week was torture. Embarrassing, embarrassing torture.Whew. Onward.
The good stuff
Saying “stroke-glide-glide” over and over again..
Nick gave me a quote from his studies: “compound-time divisions might feel like waltzing or skating — stroke, glide, glide; stroke, glide, glide; stroke, glide, glide…”
And in this tumultuous of everything breaking, that phrase came at just the right moment.
I really just need people around me who can say Stroke, Glide, Glide all the time.
On repeat until I remember that EVERYTHING is part of flow.
Stroke. Glide. Glide. Stroke. Glide. Glide.
(If anyone wants to say it with me here, you are welcome. Also it might make you feel better too, who knows.)
It’s almost like this steadying reminder that this is all part of flow. Just keep skating. Listen to the sounds of life skating: stroke, glide, glide.
I said this a lot this week.
The ocean.
I took everything to the ocean, and the ocean knew what to do with it.
The ocean knows.
And it gave me a cold black stone from the heart of the earth.
The ocean lives by stroke-glide-glide. It knows about time and about things that are temporary. About reconfigurations and letting things go and being massive and being tiny. And surrender.
Surrender.
It was an entire week of surrendering. Actively, not passively.
Here I am, consciously agreeing to not fight. Consciously agreeing to be love.
I was in it, and then back to resistance, and then in it, and then back to resistance. Waves and waves.
You guys. Surrender is a big crazy word that doesn’t even begin to hold all that is inside of it. That shit is intense. And that’s pretty much all I want to say about that.
Support.
I was hurting hard for big parts of this week and somehow everyone knew the right things to say. My business mentor took care of me. The first mate was calm and steady.
Marisa and Briana and Lady Chuck and Wally and Alon all said things that brought me back to truth. And my playmate was there to remind me too, with little notes.
Thank you everyone who kept me company at the Twitter bar and with facebook frolicking, and all of it. Hugely appreciated.
And also something D’s friend said about how this year is the end of the world, but it’s all about personal apocalypse. It made me smile wryly exactly when that was the right thing.
Getting exactly what I wanted, cue hysterical laughter.
Here’s a funny story.
I spent all Saturday writing about the direction I want to be taking in my life and in the business. The thing I have not been letting myself think about because of other commitments.
And these other commitments all stem from a huge promise I made many years ago.
So I wanted to figure out if I could delay some of them. Or find easier ways to make them happen. Or maybe they could be delegated or changed somehow.
The very next day I received the pain-filled letter that changed everything, and a side effect of this letter is that it essentially released me from this promise.
So. I am now free to do the things that I want to do, and I no longer have any obligation to stick with the things that I did not want to do but were in service to the mission.
I would rather have been released in a way that was less shocking and painful. But you know what? This awful, awful, painful thing is also a permission slip to go and do what I want.
Yep. That’s kind of funny. I will laugh about it some more once I’m done crying.
Destruction.
Clean, clear slicing through. Undoing everything that no longer serves truth or is no longer needed.
A lot of things got destroyed this week.
Liberation.
In eighteen minute segments.
And here is a quote, even though I never do this.
And not just a quote, but a Rumi quote.
“You are not just a drop in the ocean. You are the mighty ocean in the drop.”
Not just. You are both. This and also that. Stroke, glide, glide.
Stompopolis.
The place where all my problems melt away. Perspective.
I went to Stompopolis every day, and Stompopolis slowly made it all better.
I cannot even imagine how I would have written that letter without being there.
Baseball.
Somehow both the Tigers and the Giants made it safely through the first round of post-season madness.
(And I collapse on the floor in a pile of exhaustion!)
It rained. And I had a bath.
I am here.
The color turquoise.
Beautiful.
Everything is okay.
Everything is okay, and for the first time in my life I know what it is like to be surrender embodied. For stretches here and there, at least.
Stroke, glide, glide.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is from Nick again and it’s one of my favorite bands ever. They’re funny and sweet and you never know what’s coming next.
Tiger Dopamine Delivery System
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
We’re phasing out all of our products that come with DVDs, both online and in the Toy Shop at Stompopolis.
As of last count, there are 51 shiva nata dvds (but I’ve promised one to a friend so the page says 50).
So. If you’ve ever wanted to get the Shiva Nata starter kit, this would be the time. Or get the DVD without the kit. While supplies last. Shipping INCLUDED in the cost.
And we have three left of our non-sucky yoga package. There you go.
When these are gone, they’re gone.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Stroke, glide, glide. Stroke, glide, glide.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Visions #169: Swift and loving, at the same time.
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: An actual home for the Wishing Hour.
Here’s what I want:
Last week I wanted a Wishing Hour, in which to wish all the wishes.
And I wished various wishes this week, but the practice didn’t have a home. It didn’t have a time of day where it wanted to live, or walls that defined it in any way.
Partly, maybe, because I was sick. So I wasn’t doing any of the things it might normally attach to. Huh. I guess I have been thinking of its home as a lean-to.
So. I think this needs to become a morning thing or an evening thing. And if a morning thing, then waking up earlier.
Anyway, I am going to investigate this.
Ways this might work:
Tomorrow at Beach Day. I can interview Harmony to find out what she knows.
Maybe the Wishing Hour isn’t the thing at all, maybe it’s just some aspect of having dedicated time and space for being with the vision.
Oh. Of course. I just figured something out.
I’m playing with…
Being curious and playful.
Investigating what I know and what I don’t know yet.
Thing 2: Staying true to the vision.
Here’s what I want:
I just realized that the Wishing Hour needs to fit in with the vision of the Humming Castle (which I may or may not have told you about?).
And that what I really need is more time with the vision so that I can stay true to the vision. Actively.
What is needed is time to be with the vision. And then the wishing can emerge from that.
Interesting. I may not be explaining this very clearly but I am excited.
Ways this might work:
Maybe some time in the next couple weeks I will tell you guys about the vision. That would be kind of crazy. But kind of great.
Maybe Wednesday is a good day for vision days since that’s the day I talk to my mentor, and we think about the vision a lot anyway.
Conducting.
I’m playing with…
Napping. Getting close to the ground. Conducting! All day, every day. Remembering truth.
Thing 3: A swift loving resolution to a preposterous and tragic misunderstanding.
Here’s what I want:
Someone is having a giant misunderstanding about me right now and this misunderstanding is leading them to react with a lot of anger and hurt. And to make bizarre demands.
I want to be able to meet this person’s hurt with presence and love, without going into my stuff or into their stuff.
And I want a swift, ease-filled, loving resolution.
Ways this might work:
I don’t know.
I will do yoga on it. I will do shiva nata on it. I will work on the part of this that is my stuff.
I am asking and hoping that this person will sit with their fear and pain, and recognize the truth: that it has nothing to do with me. It is distortions and more distortions.
I am asking and hoping that this person will remember my good heart, and recognize that this is all a misunderstanding.
And I will try to stay grounded, patient, compassionate and curious, no matter how this goes.
I’m playing with…
Trust. Prayer. Whatever works.
One more thing! In my experience, things like this that feel like the-worst-thing-ever at the time that they happen generally (weirdly!) turn out to be the best thing ever in retrospect.
So, without any forced appreciation because that would be violent and self-destructive, I would like to imagine that I already know that this is the best thing ever. And then be curious about how and why.
Thing 4: Thursdays.
Here’s what I want:
So. This is hilarious. Sort of.
I have been investigating my relationship with Fridays, and letting Friday be my Puttering Day.
And it turns out (because, as Andrey says, morning begins at night, and as I say, you exit in order to enter) that the place that is stuck is Thursdays.
In order for Friday to be a puttering day, Thursday needs to be a getting-things-ready day.
This has stirred up all kinds of ludicrous but useful internal turmoil.
So. I don’t have to solve the Thursday thing. I just want to investigate: what would, ideally, happen on Thursdays (it doesn’t need to happen yet!) in order for Fridays to function the way I need them to?
Ways this might work:
My guess is this one is going to require lots and lots of monster negotiations.
I’m playing with…
Using the coloring book.
Maybe a proxy. This feels really raw for some reason. Something about my relationship with time has a lot of pain and guilt in it. So maybe there is a way I can back off and make this a little more light-hearted. I will experiment.
Thing 5: Shortening the Embarking Anthology.
Here’s what I want:
We’re about to let some more people into Stompopolis (yes, we’re very secretive!).
And there is an Embarking Anthology that people get when they come to their first Pop-in.
It needs to be shorter. By a lot.
This is the week of revisions.
I need help with this. I need it to be fun. I need steady, firm, non-shaky support.
Ways this might work:
Maybe Danielle or Marisa can sit with me while I do it.
I’m playing with…
Hmm. Maybe some secret agent code.
And taking it to a cafe.
Maybe some fractal flowers. Maybe while I’m doing one thing, this will become easier. Or maybe doing this will make everything else easier. Or both. That’s what I’d like.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Let’s see, I asked for a playful Wishing Hour, and for it not to be a chore. Still committed to that. Not a chore! And I got a lot of useful information about next steps.
And I wanted to play with Fridays, and oh boy. We have been playing. I’m learning a lot about the stuck parts, and I’m also learning a lot about what I want. Useful!
I wanted to ask: Is this indicated?
And I did. All week long.
Then I asked for recommendations for list apps, and thank you! Lots of ideas. Still testing.
And I wanted new structures for work, which sort of happened and sort of didn’t, because I was sick all week. But I played with working for fourteen minutes and then calling someone to check in, and that was fun. Will keep experimenting.
Playful playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Here or on your own or in your head. It’s all fine. Or call silent retreat!
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
If you’re looking for suggestions or heart-sighs or anything else related to your wish, you will need to ask for that because our default mode is giving each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We make space for people’s wishes.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox