What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Very Personal Ads #149: hooky hooky hooky play play play
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: Taking my time. And permission to take time.
Here’s what I want:
There’s are several things (mostly internal but also work-related) that I’m currently working my way through, and it’s taking way longer than anticipated/estimated.
I want to be okay with that, and start actively giving myself more permission to take time with things that need time .
Ways this could work:
I have a rough draft of a permission slip.
This could be part of my mysterious project that I play with this week at Rally (Rally!).
And of course I can bring it to the Floop.
I’ll play with…
Finding out which parts of me think that taking time is dangerous. I will listen to them and ask curious questions until I know what they need to feel safe.
If I run into giant scary monsters, I’ll bring in an imaginary negotiator.
Thing 2: The ongoing investigation.
Here’s what I want:
I have been learning all sorts of useful (and sometimes terrifying) things about how I want to live and work.
This is all related to my new role as the director of Stompopolis, and expanding the Playground and all of that.
This past week while I was on chrysalis, aka running awaaaay, and staring at the water, I got some useful information.
Now to consolidate it, let it percolate, see what’s next.
Ways this could work:
Doing some Shiva Nata to shake loose a few more epiphanies, of course.
I’ll play with…
Skipping some stones every day after old Turkish lady yoga.
Thing 3: Rally (Rally!)
Here’s what I want:
This week is Rally, you guys! Rally!
I love Rally so much I can hardly bear it. And this is Rally #20, if you can believe that.
Anyway! I want to be calm, steady, stable, grounded, present. I want to trust the fractal flowers and follow my instincts. I want to be able to work on my personal projects and Stompopolis at the same time. I want OUTRAGEOUSLY GREAT realizations, and lots of perfect simple solutions.
And I really need the internal and external projects to either collaborate and play together, or to take turns and secretly work on each other at the same time.
Ways this could work:
Conscious entry. Asking for what I want.
I’ll play with…
Planting it here.
Thing 4: Courage.
Here’s what I want:
This is the quality I want to connect with the most right now.
Ways this could work:
I’m not sure. I don’t have a strong sense of what it’s like yet, but I am pretty good friends with the quality of presence, and I know they are related.
I’ll play with…
There is definitely a part of me who knows all about courage. I will talk to Courageous Me. Also to past versions of me who did courageous things even if it didn’t feel good. Maybe they can help me destuckify some old pain.
Invoking bravery and excitement. Saying: Bon courage!
Because it’s fun to say.
Related to courage, there is a thing I want to say but am not saying it. I’ll silent retreat the rest of this for now.
Thing 5: Playing hooky!
Here’s what I want:
Playing hooky is both my cover story and my current proxy for a thing I’m working on.
I am determined to learn all there is to know about playing hooky. Or at least: everything that I don’t know that I know.
Ways this could work:
Paying attention.
I’ll play with…
Playing hooky! See? Like that.
Thing 6: Revue!
Here’s what I want:
To write up a Revue of last week’s chrysalis.
Ways this could work:
Maybe in the form of a letter to slightly future me?
I’ll play with…
Wanting what I want.
Thing 7: Toiletry kit? Is that what that’s called?
Here’s what I want:
It seems like we already talked about this when metaphor mouse was helping us travel. Or was that Barrington?
But I want a better system than just haphazardly tossing little pots of face cream and such into my suitcase.
Ways this could work:
I’m positive that someone I know has already solved this. If you have a solution that you love, can you leave a link here? Or describe it? Thank you!
I’ll play with…
Asking. Maybe doing an OOD to find out if there is hidden resistance, or symbolic stuff happening.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Okay! I wanted the best possible prep for my holiday. And I didn’t think it would happen but then I got a reprieve of an extra day, and it totally happened. MAGIC.
I wanted a successful Maiden Voyage of the pirate crew testing out the new systems at Stompopolis. And the main part of that ask was that it would happen completely without me. So it happened so completely without me that I actually don’t know how it went, because I’m only just now returning from chrysalis. So that seems like a good sign. I mean, maybe it was disastrous? But the fact that I don’t know if it was or wasn’t is good news to me.
Then I wanted the magic of chrysalis, and it was the Best Chrysalis Ever. Seriously. The bridge and the crossing and the water and everything. I wouldn’t change a second of it.
Also there was a lot of stuff about letting go, trusting and patience. And I get a million trillion sparklepoints because I excelled at that this week, even though all three of those things are generally not something I can do.
So I find myself happily surprised to find that last week’s asks went deeper than I’d realized, and that I’m feeling good about all of them. No need to rewrite or re-ask.

Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
Friday Chicken #198: the shortest chicken in the history of chickens
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
This week was all about Going Dark, which is what I call it when I must run awaaaaay!
Part chrysalis, part Emergency Vacation. But mainly, run awaaaaay!
This is how I wanted to prep for Rally (Rally!), which is — ohmygod the twentieth Rally!?!?! Wow. And yay! — starting on Monday.
And it was also a chance to let the new Pirate Crew run Stompopolis without any help from me. Scary. And awesome.
So basically the hard and the good this week was all the same.
For example, watching Grimm put this song in my head. If that isn’t the most horrible and wonderful thing ever, I don’t know what to say. Mein Schatz, es ist vorbei.
See what I mean? It was all the same.
The hard stuff
- Being gone (and preparing for being gone).
- Traveling.
- Not being in charge.
- Trusting that things will run without me.
- Busy mind. Lots to think about.
- Not having access to computer or internet.
- Transitions! So much hard!
- Decision-making! So much hard!
- Recovery.
- Not doing.
- Processing.
- Getting ready for the returning.
Bonus hard stuff?
The good stuff
- Being gone.
- Traveling.
- Not being in charge.
- Trusting that things will run without me.
- Lots to think about.
- No access to computer or internet!
- Transitions! Transformations!
- Decision-making! I can do it!
- Recovery.
- Not doing.
- Processing.
- Getting ready for the returning.
Bonus good stuff…
Lunch with the amazing Maryann Devine, whom you may already know from the wonders of Secret Play Date. And getting to give her a tour of the new space.
Also: Sunday Parkways! Where I saw:
2 women jitterbugging, 115 adorably-helmeted-adorable-tiny-children, 16 outrageous bicycle-like contraptions, 29 timbers jerseys and one slightly-drunky falling off his bike.
Add to that a couple of opt-in lovely water-soakings via supersoaker, and a grown man wearing only a diaper, and I have to say: it was pretty great.
And this absolutely beautiful post from Hiro on success. I love this so much.

Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is… more fun than they sound, I guess.
Rocking harder than you’d expect, that’s their thing.
Dutiful Grumpanion
It turns out though that the whole band is really just one guy. Weird, right?

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
Come. To. A. Rally!
There are only two happening next year, so this is the time.
There’s a stowawayship scholarship ship available for June.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Very Personal Ads #148: Wait, what happened to 147?
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Somehow I managed to run week #146 twice in a row.
Alas for poor week #147 which never got to be named.
Hi, 147! I wave to you from afar.
Anyway, here we are. And I have WISHES!
Thing 1: Best possible prep for my holiday.
Here’s what I want:
I am — or will be trying to — run awaaaay! All week.
But so much needs to happen before I can take off.
I need smoothness, steadiness, trust, hope and other good things.
And then either I get a ridiculous amount of stuff accomplished. Or, option b: I don’t, but I don’t care.
Ways this could work:
Feeling energized and excited!
Everything works.
I get help and support from a partner in crime.
Whoooooosh!
I’ll play with…
Doing Shiva Nata to get in the zone and spark some epiphanies.
Thing 2: Successful Maiden Voyage.
Here’s what I want:
While I am away the new Pirate Crew at Stompopolis will be test-driving all the systems.
Without me.
I want this go smoothly, to be fun, to support the spirit of the space.
Ways this could work:
I could stop trying to momma bear everything.
I could work on my stuff about letting go, and transitioning into this new role where, after nearly seven years of running everything, I’m not in charge anymore.
And I can commit to really and truly removing myself from the process.
Also, I can write up a brief red button ritual that they can do if things start to go weird, just in case. But then I’m gone! Honestly!
I’ll play with…
Slowing down my breath. Doing some old Turkish lady yoga. Consulting Slightly Future Me.
Thing 3: the magic of chrysalis!
Here’s what I want:
My trip is so much more than vacation.
It’s about meeting incoming-me halfway.
It’s a Crossing.
And so that’s what I’m committing to.
Ways this could work:
I don’t know yet. That’s kind of the point.
I’ll play with…
Patience. Receptivity. Paying attention.
And skipping lots of stones.
Thing 4: Letting go. Trust. Patience.
Here’s what I want:
Oh, man.
Every year, or so it seems. there’s some new part to running a business that involves deeper and deeper levels of trust.
Hiring the first assistant. The first bookkeeper. The first full-time person. The first offices. Opening the first center.
Each time it seems terrifying, and then it’s fine. Well, except with the first bookkeeper, who totally screwed me. But you know what I mean.
Each transition requires more trust, more backing off.
And now with Stompopolis, I’m going to have the pirate crew basically running the whole thing. I won’t be able to call a time out. It’s weird.
I’m sure it will be amazing, eventually, but right now it’s kind of scary. I would like things to be FINE, and for me to remember, OH RIGHT, things are FINE. And for this to happen smoothly and speedily, please.
Ways this could work:
Presence.
Paying attention to the part that is my stuff. Using the tools.
I’ll play with…
Writing an OOD.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted a perfect solution to an untenable situation, and I’m still not sure what’s happening there. But things have calmed down considerably, so that’s good.
Then I asked to feel excited and energized, which (let’s be honest) I did not think was an actual option. BUT IT WORKED! It was crazy. I’m still kind of shocked by the whole thing. In fact, it worked so well that I’m going to re-ask it for this week too.
The next bit was about enjoying the Hush Hush Rendezvous, and that was incredible. So much fun!
I had an ask about dissolving, and it worked.
And I had an ask about the thing with the door, and it got taken care of!
Yay.

Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
Friday Chicken #197: so close so close
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
This was a wild ride of a week. A lot of it was pretty sweet, I seem to remember, but it’s hard to tell because so much happened.
I’m heading straight to the new hammocks to recover.
Let’s see…
The hard stuff
Allergies. Allergies? What?
Finally got over the virus. Then knocked out by allergies.
I never get allergies. This is stupid.
Noise.
First a fire alarm test at Stompopolis.
Then construction next door.
Everything being outrageously behind schedule.
I’m not even talking about missing our opening date. That’s fine. Sometimes things require time and process. It’s just how it is.
But the other things! I am not yet able to be fine with that.
The lights arrived, five weeks late.
We’re finally getting air conditioning, which was supposed to happen ages ago. Still no word on the fans.
Anyway, constant re-adjusting.
Fix-it-ey people in and out.
Every time the new Playground is all glow-ey and shiny and sacred space, a bunch of workmen come through and the energy is off.
It used to be like that with the first Playground and I can’t remember how long it took until the space was a strong enough container that things didn’t get shaky.
Lots of clearing out.
Really, really tough decision making.
Hard stuff.
Ow, brain.
Overwork plus allergies plus decisions plus deadlines.
I feel very upset about three different situations.
And I can’t talk about any of them right now. RAWR!
Thursday.
I did a thing (skipping morning glow-sitting and yoga) that is pretty much guaranteed to make the day a mess. And it did.
Then: monsters.
Wanting to put my feet up.
What am I, a thousand years old? I have never in my life said the words, “I need to put my feet up.” Until this week when I said it all the time.
I mean, I am not opposed to forms of horizontal and/or elevated resting. And yes, sometimes it is hammock time. Stop! Hammock time!
And sometimes I put my legs up on the wall for some lovely Viparita Karani.
But verbally expressing the need for elevated feet? I don’t know what this is about, but it’s getting on my nerves.
It’s almost Rally and I promised myself a vacation before Rally.
It needs to happen.
There is no other way.
But time is running out. It can’t not happen, so the me who knows how to make it happen is invited to show up.
The good stuff
Energized! Yay!
After last week’s virus and exhaustion, it seemed like it would take ages to get back into the groove.
I asked — in the Very Personal Ads — to feel energized again, but didn’t actually believe it would work.
It did! I woke up early every day, excited and happy. It was INCREDIBLE.
Oh, I needed this.
The transformation of space.
The new Playground at Stompopolis really came into its glowing radiant wondrous self this week.
It’s here. It feels exquisitely magical.
I am so proud and happy right now. This has been such a massive endeavor, it’s amazing to see all the parts come together.
New costumes!
There’s that place across from SCRAP where they sell vintage clothing by the pound, and they now have costumes.
As you may or may not know, I feel very strongly about costumes, and also we have a very fabulous Costumery at the Playground.
Anyway, $25 got us two giant bags of costumes, all of which now live at Stompopolis.
Also: thank you, Mechaieh, for the donation of a very stunning hat. It is spectacular.
Extremely delicious foods.
If you’re coming to Rally (Rally!) this month (or in June, July or September), get excited about foods.
The Argentinian food cart moved a couple blocks closer to the Playground. The spinach empanadas are to die for. And if you eat meat, apparently everything else is incredible too.
There’s a new Indian place that specializes in street food offerings, a new Iraqi place, a bunch of new carts, and a circus. With food! All on NE Alberta St, which is where the Playground lives.
Of course, we already had way too much good food in the neighborhood, but this is out of control.
I tried a bunch of new places this week, and YUM.
PROGRESS! Serious, serious progress.
Among the many, many things that happened with the new space this week:
- We ran the Hush Hush Rendezvous for the new pirate crew, and it was a great success.
- Changed up the schedule, added a shift, and stopped calling them “shifts”, thanks to metaphor mouse. It’s now First Watch, Second Watch, and Third Watch.
- Set up the party to create the new PLUM (Playground User Manual).
- And now we’re almost done with the new PLUM and it’s gorgeous.
- Found a Head of Crew, who renamed the position and is now The Noodler!
- We have the Hush Hush Crew facebook group and google calendar up and running.
- Much progress on all the official entry and exit procedures for crew.
- A gorgeous new table for the arts & crafts station!
- Wonderful new decorations, like the orange tree in the Toy Shop, the PLAY letters over the elevator shaft, the magical signs, the general sparkliness.
- We renamed the nap room so that it’s now the Caboosery! Also, it is now carpeted.
- Renamed the upstairs (original) Playground to be the Hidden Playground, and then gave it an awesome secret code name.
- Found the right gumball machines.
- And a bunch of other things that I’ve been asking for in the VPAs but haven’t found yet.
- We have a date for the A/C install.
- And the new lighting finally arrived, finally finally.
- Also a brand new design for the Treasure Map, which is now the amazing DECODER COMPASS! Ordered the postcards. Happy.
- A bunch of big decision-making meant we were able to give a NO on a question that had been stressing me out. And that NO meant that I can put off a whole section of systems-creation.
- We’re running a Maiden Voyage period where Crew gets to play, work and practice systems. And then we’ll just casually morph into being OPEN TO THE PUBLIC!!!!!!
The L”g B’omer PLUM picnic.
I had been dreading creating the new Playground User Manual, because the first PLUM took such a long time to make.
But we had a picnic! For L”g B’omer.
And the crew came and we did arts and crafts and ate snacks. It was delightful.
Hooray for help.
Yet again, the Floating Playground is a really good place to process.
I am a genius for inventing it.
Sun. Movement. Trust. Flow.
Thank you.
Obama finally speaks up for marriage equality.
I would have thought that I was too pissed off about how long it’s taken to be happy about this.
But you know what? I’m thrilled.
It’s about time.

Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band comes by way of Rhiannon, and they sound pretty much the way you’d expect: loud, happy and slightly inebriated.
Lucky Butter Explosion.
You’ll be happy — but not at all surprised — to find out that… it’s actually just one guy.

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
If you don’t have the Monster Manual & Coloring Book, get it.
I see what happens at the Floop when people use it, and the results are mind-blowing. This is a life skill that you will use forever. I recommend!
Also, come to Rally (Rally!) so you can have discoveries and epiphanies and generally change things up. And then we will giggle and eat empanadas.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Hello, May. 2012.
It’s definitely, definitely May, and I am ready to say hello to May in its May-ness. Hi, there. Hi, there.
And I decided I want to use that set of four questions from the book about Crucial Conversations that I’ve been working with. So. Let’s try that and see what happens.

Hello, May! What do I really want for me in relation to May?
I want steadiness.
I want to feel grounded, steady, energized and full of vitality.
I want to welcome May with open arms, even when I feel ambivalent about some of the things that have come in with the month.
What else?
To appreciate the useful things that past me has done to set things up for me-now. And to be patient about the parts I don’t understand yet.
To remember TRUTH:
How I take care of myself is the process. It’s not something that happens alongside the process.
And I want to remember, as always, that now is not then.
May and I get to have a brand new relationship each year. We don’t have to repeat old patterns if we don’t want to. Now-me and now-May can figure things out.
And what do I want for May?
I want May to feel appreciated! And welcome!
May should know that I adore all this sun. And that even though I can’t be outside frolicking as much as I would like, I’m still appreciating the SPRING of it all.
May, please know that I am excited about all the new things! I am.
And yes, okay, I was very grumbly at the beginning of the month about its arrival. That’s because I was locked into all these schedules and timetables, and giant throngs of monsters were telling me that we were BEHIND, and also DOOM!
The truth is, though, I am happy you are here. I am happy for good smells and for sitting in the garden. I am happy for Rally (Rally!), and I am looking forward to my sweet, sweet holiday.
And what do I want for the relationship between me and May?
Comfort. Integrity. Curiosity. Patience.
Exploration. Buoyancy. Silliness. Play. Streamers.
How would I act differently if this were really and truly what I wanted?
I might take more time to get clarity on what I want.
Having this spaciousness might make it easier to stop blaming time for going faster than I’d planned/expected, which might make it easier to deal with where we are right now.
But mainly I’d go outside and blow a bunch of bubbles, and that seems like a pretty good plan.

Join in if you like! The commenting blanket fort.
This practice has been changing every month.
For variations, peek at: July / August / September / October / November / December / January / February / March / April.
You are welcome to write your own hello letter to May , if you like.
Or leave little pebbles for my love letter. Or drop off some gwishes for the month.
As always, we make this a safe space by not telling each other what to do, how to be or how to feel. We make room for each other.
Wishing you the most beautiful May possible. May it be full of unexpectedly good things.