In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

Okay, you guys. This is just weird. How is it possibly Friday?

I feel a bit bewildered.

Like maybe this week went by crazy fast and managed to be two weeks at the same time. Fine. Let’s chicken.

The hard stuff

Seeing all the things that are incongruent.

Wanting to change them and bring them into now.

Except some of these are easier than others.

And some involve clearing out old pain, and this is hard.

And also Time-Consuming, the monster representative would like me to add!

Grief.

While I was writing the post about the Enthusiastic, I was listening to Israeli radio. On my phone. Because it’s the future.

This always makes me slightly homesick, but it’s usually worth it to feel home at the same time.

And then when I tuned into the essence of ENTHUSING, this song came on.

It was the song that my friend who is dead used to cover with his band, and hearing it transported me instantly to the first bar I worked at.

It was kind of perfect, because he is the one person who was always truly unconditionally enthusiastic for me — rejoicing in the good, and being awesome when I couldn’t see the good.

He always gets to be on my Enthusiastic! In fact, he would insist on it.

But still I spent a good hour wandering around the Playground, feeling that familiar torn-heart pain of loss again.

How is it already December?!

I shake my fists in protest.

This is an outrage! An outrage, I tell you.

The time thing. It is hard.

Setting expectations. It’s work, y’all.

I don’t really have any more to say about that.

Can we just have a big sigh of agreement?

Actually, I do have more to say about that but no words. I had a massive and indescribable shivanautical epiphany this week about how setting expectations and releasing expectations are intimately connected, and that I have to do both simultaneously.

I don’t know how all the parts fit together yet.

And part of me cannot let that go.

We needed to do lots of safe rooms this week for all of the not-knowing.

Maintaining my space.

The thing with being biggified is that there can be a lot of attention focused at you.

And people project stuff onto you.

Sometimes I’m really good at force-fielding, and other times it takes me longer to recognize what’s going on and clear it out.

The good is that I am so much faster at resolving this. The hard is that being more aware of when it’s happening makes me realize that it is constantly happening.

Someone else’s pain.

I can’t do anything about it except love them.

It’s hard.

And remembering that it is not about me and does not reflect on me is also something that requires steady and active attention.

The good stuff

Congruence play.

I spent pretty much the entire week bringing things into harmonious relationship.

Or really, letting old things fall away and making room for the new things.

And it was easier than the monsters thought it would be. Actually it was pretty fun, most of the time.

It was like being on Rally (Rally!), except by myself.

Related: getting stuff done!

I updated the events page, and rewrote the Shiva Nata events page.

And did a bunch of other things. Done! Done! Hooray!!

We found our Flairground!

The Flairground!

MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS.

It’s where we’re doing Shivanauticon!

MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS.

And there might be a cotton candy machine!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! I am so excited about this that I am constantly flinging myself on the floor and wriggling around like a puppy. Basically, I am a puppy.

And guess what? Our Playground insurance covers this event as well so we don’t need additional insurance. Bonus win!

Enthusiasm!

I am running a special Enthusiastic at my Kitchen Table program about how it’s going to change in the coming year, and everyone is being awesome and enthusing with me.

This feels so so so good.

Especially compared to past years when I remember there being some minor anxiety attacks and temper tantrums about these kind of announcements. For whatever reasons, people weren’t able to remember to meet their pain first, before responding, as we do here. But now they can. And now I feel less conflicted about reminding them of their ability to do this. And all of this is big progress. Yay.

Anyway, it’s a big deal to be right here, right now, with an amazing group of people who have all done the work to be right here, right now.

If that makes sense.

And it’s a big deal for me to have enthusiasm in my life. So thank you, all of you!

The Playground is the best place to be comforted.

Thank you, hammock. Thank you, cushions. Thank you, wonderful clews and surprises everywhere.

A house is a house for me!

After I wrote about tiny homes for everything, guess what happened?

Léan sent me and the Playground this book called A House Is A House for Me.

I’d never heard of it, and it is just perfect:

“A box is a house for a teabag.
A teapot’s a house for for some tea.
If you pour me a cup and I drink it all up,
Then the teahouse will turn into me!”

Yay! I put it in the Refueling Station, and it seems to like its new home.

Ooh, and we’ve had lots of packets of stickers arrive for the arts & crafts room.

Thanks, Melanie! Thanks, anonymous sticker-donors! Keep them coming… 🙂

I am strong!

And I did a bunch of push-ups this week.

Boy push-ups! Real push-ups!

Or what other people apparently just call push-ups.

This whole wax-on wax-off thing is paying off. It’s a proxy but it’s also happening for real, which just makes the whole thing even better.

Secret Reflectings with my partner-in-crime.

We are doing big work but in the most sneaky roundabout ways.

It is brilliant.

Also I invented this new practice called Sceptering, and it is changing everything in my business, and also completely baffling the monsters.

Gigantic hot buttered epiphany is blowing my mind!

Once I pick my jaw off the ground I will tell you about it.

The magic word is COOPERATIVE.

Taught my first cross-training program of the season.

For the hard-rocking women of Guns N Rollers, the roller derby team that I sponsor.

YEAH!

We did some EXTREMELY bad-ass Shiva Nata (with sound effects and numbers and costumes and hilarious flailing!)

And they talked about some of the results they had from doing this last year, and the whole thing was very inspiring.

The fun part of the Chickening happens here.

From the archives.

Some old, weirdly pertinent posts that I don’t remember having written, encountered while looking for something else:

• This one is super recent. But read it again! A love letter for you. For the moment in which you become an adventurer.
• 10 myths of biggification. I hardly ever write a “ten things” or “eight blahblahs” sort of post, but this one is important and worth revisiting.

Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!

Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band is all about innuendo and raised eyebrows. And klezmer-ey clarinets.

I am pleased to introduce you to:

Hmm Hmm and the Hmm Hmms.

Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.

Picture me wearing that crazy hat…

1. The January Rally (Rally!) is so close to full. If there’s a way you can make it, doooo eeeet.
2. Shivanauticon! YES! Sign up so we can send you details when we have them. We will not send marketing emails to persuade you. Just: here’s what it is.
3. People at the last Rally were really good at destuckifying. Turns out most of them already had the Monster Manual & Coloring Book. That makes sense. If you don’t have that, put it on your wish list.

I think that’s everything? If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.

That’s it for me …

And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.

Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.