What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Proxy.
Sometimes you really, really, really want to make some progress on a project.
But then you don’t.
And sometimes this state of Whoa This Is Really Not Happening is related to the fact that the some part of the project itself is kind of scaring you. Like maybe its existence, for example.
(Tiny little popsicle stick reminder here that avoidance is normal! And it always makes sense even when it doesn’t.)
Anyway, this is where proxying comes in.
Proxying!
Proxying is the sneakiest way of working on a project that I know of.
It is sneakier even than the OOD and sneakier than metaphor mousing.
It is outrageously sneaky.
Because you’re basically pretending to work on something else.
Something else that doesn’t scare you even slightly.
But that something else is a proxy. It’s a Secret Stand-In for the thing you really do want to make progress on.
Let’s say you want to write a novel.
What?! What?!
Instant monster freakouts ensue. Total paralysis! Devastating attacks of WDYTYA.*
* Who Do You Think You Are: one of the monsters we negotiate with in the Monster Coloring Book.
So you pretend that you don’t want to write a novel.
And instead you’re just going to ___________________ instead.
Lalala! I’m not writing a novel. Just kidding, monsters! I’m learning how to play chess. See?
And then you problem-solve for learning how to play chess. Assuming that learning how to play chess doesn’t scare you. (If it does, you’re going to need another proxy.)
But either way: you’re actually problem-solving for your secret project.
Like this:
- Hmmm, what steps might need to happen in order for me to learn how to PLAY CHESS?
- Who are my allies and resources going to be when I am learning to PLAY CHESS?
- I wonder what challenges I might run into once I start PLAYING CHESS.
- How can I move around my schedule to create pockets of time for learning to PLAY CHESS.
- How will I know when I’m ready to PLAY CHESS with other people and let them watch while I’m playing?
- How will I make sure that I feel safe, supported, sovereign and all the other things I want to feel while learning about CHESS?
(You don’t have to shout your proxy, but I like to say mine extra-loud for the benefit of the monsters…)
I did this at the last Rally.
Actually, I proxy almost all of my projects at Rally (Rally!).
But I was taking some notes about the giant project of producing a dvd, which is the latest thing completely terrifying me right now.
I was feeling so intimidated. I couldn’t even say it without having a coughing fit, which is a sure sign that a proxy is in order.
And my monsters were laughing so hard at the idea of me doing this that they were choking a little too.
So I proxied it.
Lalala! I’m not making a dvd! I’m just compiling some business advice to give my friend for her food cart venture…
And then I came up with a list of tips I could give her for setting up her FOOD CART (see? see?).
Things she’d want to keep in mind. Possible first steps. Stuff to look out for.
It was pretty obvious how most of them translated to the real project, but it was all in secret code. Take that!
If you’re not sure when to use a proxy…
Let’s see.
When you start to think about a project and:
- you can’t say it out loud
- you break out in hives
- you hit a wall
- you suddenly want to go to sleep
- you urgently have to look up that one Hall and Oates song right this minute
- ohmygod if you don’t get to eat a popsicle and then clean under the fridge, the whole world is going to fall apart….
Well, in that case you probably want a proxy.
Lalala! I’m not launching a website! I’m studying octopi and their mating habits! No worries. Nothing to see here.
Why proxying is so magical. And sneaky. Mostly sneaky.
Your monsters and sad, scared selves and internal programming all want to keep you safe.
It’s a full-time job, and it’s a lot of work. They’re pretty exhausted. They want a break from scaring you almost as much as you want a break from being stressed out, but they can’t stop because you keep considering these projects of Doom.
But when you choose something for your proxy that doesn’t threaten to bring your shining radiance into the world…
Lalala! I’m not creating a product! I’m just documenting stuff about gardening.
Yawn. Snore. Your monsters are all asleep.
They’re so bored. There’s nothing to do!
They could try to bug you with “why are you wasting your time on this?!” but usually they’re just relieved you’ve backed off that Giant Scary Project of Doom you were so rashly and recklessly considering.
They poke their heads out and find you aren’t doing anything hazardous. Phew. Now they can take a break.
Lalala! I’m not planning a vacation! Me? I’m just going to write some notes about the history of California.
Tips for proxying!
Obviously, we are invoking the People Vary rule, so you may have to experiment and find out what works for you.
Often it helps if the proxy project is something you do all the time and is not-stressful for you.
Or you might try having a proxy project that’s completely preposterous so the proxying itself can turn into a goofball creative writing practice
You might always use the same proxy. Or you might have a box of them. Foxy hydroxy proxies.
There is no way to proxy wrong (that’s for your “You’re probably doing it wrong!” monster), but there is a lot of room for experimentation and trying stuff.
The main thing is that this is a form of playing. So we play.
Play with me? And comment zen for today.
This is definitely an advanced practice — it can take some time to get used to.
As always: we all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We make space for everyone else to have their stuff, and we take responsibility for our experience here.
We do this through agreeing to not give each other unsolicited advice, and by paying attention to what we need.
If you want to play in the comments with this theme of proxying, that would be lovely.
We can brainstorm Silly Proxies, ask clarifying questions, come up with examples or start proxying. Whatever you like.
Love to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
p.s. It’s Plum Duff days! Through Thursday morning.
Plum Duff! A special occasion and the thing sailors looked forward to most at sea.
(This one time? A ship-wide riot because the cook didn’t add molasses.)
Anyway. It’s officially Plum Duff time from now until Thursday morning or as supplies last (password = extraraisins).
Very Personal Ads #107: Rambling incoherent happy gushing?
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: fun, ease and play for Toozday’s live Shiva Nata class
Here’s what I want:
Remember last week when I said I was doing a Snack Preview Shiva Nata class at the Playground? It actually sold out over the weekend, which was pretty neat.
And now it’s happening. Toozday! We have twenty five people coming to the Playground to flail around madly.
So I want it to be fun, playful, hilarious and delight-filled. Which of course it will be.
There are three spots left for the August series, if you’re into that.
Ways this could work:
Twenty five people is really packing it in, so maybe the First Mate and I can move some things around?
I can talk things over with slightly future me.
And of course I can do Shiva Nata on it.
My commitment.
To have fun with this.
Thing 2: Plum Duff! Plum Duff! A happy brunching.
Here’s what I want:
Tomorrow is the official brunching of my upcoming Plum Duff days (password = extraraisins).
I want it to be sparkly and full of glee, with lots of happy appreciation.
And I want it to be a good time, so that this can become a Fluent Self tradition that happens a couple times a year.
Ways this could work:
Well, I whisper-brunched this on Friday and the Gwish Kits — password: elevate — are all gone except for the last one.
So that part has already worked. Although really now I’m worrying that there isn’t enough plum in the plum duff and maybe I need to substitute something else for the Gwish Kit?
Like butt-monsters? Or crownpouncers? I don’t know.
Anyway, I have used the OOD to figure out what the next steps are, so now I just have to remember to actually do them.
My commitment.
To follow the steps.
To stay connected to the essence of plumduffery — somersaulting EXCITEMENT and gleeful ANTICIPATION.
To treat the whole thing as a giant, fascinating experiment and see what happens.
To take notes and do a spangly Revue that is also a review.
Thing 3: rambling incoherent happy gushing quotes!
Here’s what I want:
Some of you guys have my Monster Coloring Book & Manual, right?
I am re-doing the HAT page — stands for Havi’s Announcing a Thing — because we’ll be raising the prices from pre-sale to full cost at the end of the Plum Duff days.
And I need some TINY STORIES or WORDS OF APPRECIATION to put there.
The monster coloring book is my 2nd favorite thing I’ve made after Emergency Calm The Hell Down, and I want people to know how happy-making and helpful it is.
Ways this could work:
I’m going to put this here. And I’m going to ask you:
If you have it and love it, would you be up for answering *any* of the following?
- Anything that surprised you about the monster manual / coloring book?
- Your favorite part?
- A neat thing that happened (like your kid using it or you using it on your mother-in-law or something?)
- Sneakiest result?
- Something useful you learned/noticed/perceived/experienced as a result of having it?
- Does it save you time even though it takes time?
And is it cool to quote you? Do you want to be linked to something?
My commitment.
To feel and express the rush of love and gratitude I feel towards everyone who uses my work and who plays with this unlikely and counter-intuitive approach!
To happily link to you (unless of course you’d rather be anonymous).
And to spread sparklepoints through the universe!
Thing 4: progress on writing projects
Here’s what I want:
To write the Proxy post, the Shiva Nata post about pricing, and to take notes for the new version of the Rally HAT.
Ways this could work:
I could use the massive epiphanies from the Shiva Nata class to whoosh me through it.
I could put aside Wednesday for writing, since I don’t have client sessions that day.
And of course using the Deguiltified Chicken Board at my Kitchen Table program is always the best way for me to get writing done.
My commitment.
To find out what happens when I play with this.
Thing 5: prep for this upcoming non-vacation-thing.
Here’s what I want:
I have this weird week coming up (not this week but next week) and everything is going to be Different and Upside Down, for various reasons.
It’s not vacation and it’s not really time off, but because everything is going to be topsy-turvy, I kind of want to take advantage of the specialness and …. well, make it special, I guess.
Hmmm. Now that I’m writing this out, I think what I really want is to be present, calm and grounded. And not spend all my time getting sucked into work and being online.
Okay. Interesting.
Ways this could work:
With a little help from my friends…
I’m thinking happy hour with Dana.
And taking some extra dance classes.
My commitment.
I’m going to invent some rituals, and talk the whole thing over with Cairene.
And I’m setting the intention here. Might need to do some more writing.
Oh! Of course! I can make this my next OOD. Right. Got it!
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted the further brunching of the Shiva Nata destuckification series, and that happened beautifully. To the point that I didn’t even have to do the things on my list to promote it because it sold out before I got around to it. Yay.
Then i wanted to make progress on the Plum Duff project so it would be ready by tomorrow. And — amazingly, unbelievably, impossibly — it was all ready by Friday morning.
I also wanted to consolidate a bunch of stuff that happened at Rally (Rally!), and that did not happen at all. Though on second thought, it kind of did but only in one very specific way. Interesting.
And I put out my secret gwish about the slackline, and I’ve been feeling excited about that. So I definitely will be getting a slackline, and will report back.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
Things that are welcome! Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
xox
Friday Chicken #155: not a Simpsons reference
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Feeling very disoriented! Yesterday I was astonished to learn that it was Thursday, when it couldn’t possibly be.
Today I’m just kind of generally confused about everything. But here we are! I’m chickening, so it must be Friday, right? Or thereabouts.
The hard stuff
The giant gaping hole where the bathroom sink used to be.
And then the time, inconvenience and general /hassle until said hole was taken care of.
Ah, Hoppy House.
Ow.
Many bruises.
Mostly from tripping over things, sometimes literally and occasionally not.
Everything hurts!
Got a cold.
In July. It’s stupid.
Recovery sucks, just in general. I don’t know why I forgot that.
I need more downtime after last week’s Rally.
Too much working, not enough playing.
Timing. And guessing wrong.
I was working on an aspect of a project that ended up taking about five times longer than I’d estimated.
This totally threw me way off track. Not just with the project, but in all sorts of ways.
Wanting.
It is a known thing that longing for something you can’t have is a colossal waste of time.
But somehow the knowing of that doesn’t seem to be all that effective in terms of being able to stop wanting the un-wantable.
The good stuff
Oh! This is so great!
So last Friday (on the chicken!), I told you about the Shiva Nata Snack Preview class that I’d just set up.
By Monday it had SOLD OUT and people were still wanting to get in — we now have a ridiculously long waiting list.
There are still a couple spots for the August series but those should be gone soon too.
This was really exciting, especially seeing how exuberant people are feeling about this class. Yay. And yay for more shivanauts hanging out at the Playground.
Getting so much done. So much!
After a unlikely and complicated slump (tiny pockets of slump mixed with long periods of process-process-sleep-on-it, which are not slump-ey at all), I had a big run of outrageous, unstoppable DOING.
Specifically PLUM DUFF!
I was pretty sure we wouldn’t be able to get it ready in time, since it has to brunch on Monday morning.
But guess what?! We did. Incredible.
And I will even whisper-link to it (password = extraraisins) even though it’s not supposed to be live yet.
Credit for getting this done goes to the OOD and Cairene and last week’s Rally (Rally!) and all of the crazed shivanauttery we did there.
It was drizzly this week.
And I liked it.
It kind of reminded me of Berlin, which can also get chilly-wet in the middle of summer.
I was happy when the sun came back too, of course.
And happy for the things the sun is bringing (amazing blueberries and tomatoes in the Hoppy House garden, raspberries from Dana’s garden).
But the drizzly was lovely.
The Shiva Nata iPhone app finally approved!
Still not in the shop.
But we got the approval. After months and months of run-around and absurd tribulations.
So close!
Excitement.
Yoga again.
Well, I’m always doing yoga and living yoga, but when it comes to the physical practice, usually I’m practicing old Turkish lady yoga or teaching it.
This week I took some classes out in the world again and enjoyed.
Internal relationships.
At my Kitchen Table program we’ve started the summer quarter, which is on the theme of relationships.
And I taught a class on internal relationships.
The KT mice are so wise and creative, and have become so knowledgeable and well-versed in what I teach.
So we’re able to run classes at a super high level now. I was really impressed by the smart, thoughtful questions and the different situations in which people were able to apply what we talk about.
Very reassuring.
Bridge walk! And then Sunday parkways!.
I’ll be walking all weekend.
First at the Bridge Walk.
And then at Sunday Parkways.
Who’s coming with me? If a bunch of us do it, I’ll even bring the Schmoppet!
Reconnecting with an old friend.
And laughing laughing laughing.
My new favorite website.
It’s the make everything okay website that… wait for it… makes everything okay.
Thank you to the Frolicsome Bar (our facebook page) for sharing it with me.
And also I am loving loving loving this (thank you, Liz!).
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band:
Dramatic Swiss Marmot
I even have a video clip. And it’s the best video clip ever.
Catch them at the Meme Beach House all week. Except that it’s really just one guy.
Tiny little pre-annoucement? Plum Duff! Plum Duff!
Officially I’m not supposed to announce this online until Monday morning when the actual brunching happens but the fact that it is almost-here makes it too exciting to not tell you about.
Especially since it’s up and ready now* so you can sneak in if you like…
* Password = extraraisins
I would love some cheering and sparklepoints and general joyousness for this!
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
The Art of the OOD.
There are many, many wonderful ways to approach a project and make Giant Progress on it.
By “wonderful”, I mean useful, fun, powerful, effective, light-hearted, joyful and/or play-filled. As in: not stressful and depressing.
And by “project”, I mean any kind of mission, adventure, gwish or whatever it is you happen to be working on or playing with.
The point is: variety!
There are least as many valid methods for projectizing a project as there are people and projects but realistically probably way more. More!
Because we’re all different. And because we’re creative, inventive people engaged in a process of mindfully discovering neat and useful things about how we function.
Today: the art of the OOD.
This is one of my favorite projectizing methods ever. It’s one I often use on my projects at Rally (Rally!)
The OOD is pronounced Oooooood — rhymes with food — and it is the not especially secret code for:
Object Of Desire.
I’ll share the full version with all the steps, though of course you condense it. Pick and choose. Adapt and adjust. Move things around. Whatever works. Here we go:
1. State the OOD.
This is your basic declarative statement of the thing you want. Or a proxy.
I often do this part with crayons or magic markers on colored paper, which I then tape to the wall.
It’s a way of finding out what happens when you say the thing:
I want to set up a series of Shiva Nata classes!
That was the OOD I worked with at the last Rally.
Note! Rally ended last Thursday, and these classes not only were set up but also have already sold out. Thank you, OOD and Rally and blog readers.
2. Is this what I really want? In what ways?
Quite often, stating the OOD helps you realize that the thing you thought you wanted isn’t the thing.
Or is only part of the thing.
Maybe you realize you want to enjoy the creative process and you don’t actually care whether people see your painting. Or you want to bring a sum of money into your business but it doesn’t have to be through writing that ebook.
3. Gwish/Qualities.
Related to the above. You aren’t just looking at the Object of Desire but the essence of wanting it.
What are the qualities that this project brings into your life? What defines it? What are you really and truly gwishing here?
Yesterday, the OOD I was working with was my Plum Duff days project. And the qualities I wanted for it were:
[+fun] [+gleeful] [+exciting] [+enthusiasm] [+joyous] [+delight][+buoyancy] [+light-hearted] [+trust] [+pleasure] [+experimentation] [+courage] [+wheeee!]
4. Why I want this.
Always useful to remember. Especially after you’ve just tuned into the essence of the wanting.
There are a lot of legitimate reasons for wanting your project and for working on your relationship to that project, and it’s good to get them out there.
Often this is where the fuzzball monsters will start really getting loud What?! You want to make MONEY?! And have more TIME?!
And this is useful because we need them for the next step.
5. Possible disadvantages, What-iffery, monster-objections.
This is the new home for the worries — from the Very Legitimate Concerns all the way to the Batshit Crazy This Is Me Obsessing Over Things That Will Never Happen.
It’s all good. You just want to know what they are.
What if I’m not ready? What if I can’t finish in time? What if I get stuck in the middle? What if it’s no good? What if I suddenly go blind and then I trip over a pile of socks and then this will live forever in my memory as the project that ruined everything?
Often as you’re listing the objections, the solutions show up at the same time.
Otherwise, you can always do some Shiva Nata and stone skipping on the objections later. Or bring in a negotiator.
Useful resource if you get stuck here: the monster manual & coloring book.
6. Tizmun.
I am somewhat allergic to words like “timing”, “schedule”, and “deadlines”.
So I use the Hebrew word tizmun, which has elements of timing, arranging, itineraries and so on, but doesn’t freak me out.
This is where I figure out all the what-needs-to-happen-when bits.
Uh oh, if I do X before I do Q, then that’s no good. Note to self: start with Q!
And so on.
I don’t need to have it all figured out. This is just taking notes.
7. What will help?
This is kind of basic Book of You stuff. You might already know what helps. But it’s good to ask.
My list generally includes things like: Talk to H! Drink water! Take breaks! Do some reverse engineering! Ask for help!
8. Slightly Future Me says….
I don’t do anything without asking slightly future me (aka the me who is a few steps ahead of me) for advice and support.
How did she figure this stuff out? What does she wish that I knew? Where does she think I should start? What should I look out for?
What is useful about the places where I’m currently feeling stuck?
9. Allies, resources and helper mice!
Who is going to help me with this?
Whether with advice, moral support, spreading the word, holding me (lovingly) accountable…
Keep in mind that allies can also totally be fictional, imaginary or no longer alive.
10. Practical mapping.
This is where I go ahead and just make the List of Steps. What am I going to need to do? And in what order?
I put these on post-it notes so I can move them around in different combinations.
Listing possible next steps in the soft.
The soft = all the things that can’t really be seen.
The internal work. The talking to walls and being the fox and doing rituals and all that.
The destuckifying as opposed to the active doing.
11. Processing pain.
Working on a project means that your stuff will come up. There is, sadly, no real way to avoid this.
That’s because you’re dealing with an Object of Desire. So all the parts of you that are invested in not having it will show up.
Plus old grief and pain about past situations in which you weren’t able to have what you wanted, or you did get it but things went horribly, horribly wrong.
Projectizing comes with pain. Sometimes anger. This is normal!
And we need to interact with the existence of that pain in gentle, conscious, loving, inquisitive ways. But without diving into the pain and being in pain.
See: everything I’ve ever written about destuckification.
12. Revue!
This is where you take notes about various steps in the project or your relationship with the project, or the project as a whole:
What worked? What am I going to try differently for next time?
And that’s the OOD.
It’s challenging, powerful and surprising. And it saves time. And it’s awesome.
Plus you can do the whole thing with crayons if you want.
Playing! Caveats and comment zen.
We invoke Paul’s rule of People Vary. You can adjust and adapt any aspect of this to your needs. This is only one way to projectize, and it’s only one of the methods I use.
The important part is not the steps but the approach:
A conscious, mindful, sovereign, destuckifying approach. Because the culture of projectizing is about exploring rather than being prescriptive, and meeting pain rather than stomping on it.
If you’d like to play with any or all elements of the OOD here, yay! If you want to share projectizing stories of your own or discuss the approach, go for it.
Reminder! This is hard work. We all have our stuff. We make space for our stuff and we don’t tell each other what to do or how to feel.
Much love to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
Rally Revue! Goodbye, #11
After the June Rally (Rally!), I decided to share some of my after-the-fact thoughts and notes with you guys.
Mainly because I thought it might be useful to see what a possible version of an Exit Process looks like — that Revue and Review thing we’ve been talking about.
And also because it helps me remember to document the process.
So I’m doing it again, this time for the July Rally that just ended Thursday night.
And who knows, maybe you’ll find something unexpected in here that will secretly help out with something else you’re working on in a fractal flower sort of way…
New traditions that showed up at this Rally.
Muscle-hippo on the move!
In addition to constantly moving the fairy door around from place to place (the wooden one, not the pink one!), there’s another version. A spin-off?
We started obsessing over the sparkly and self-satisfied weight-lifter hippo statue.
So now we’re moving him around the Playground as well. And also posting sticky-notes on him.
Things like: “Love me tender!” and “I’m too sexy for my shirt.”
It was pretty entertaining. I hope it sticks.
Ringing the bell.
At the first few Rallies, I’d ask in the morning when we wanted to break for lunch.
That way, anyone who wanted to lunch with other rallions could meet up at the door. Or decide to stay at the Playground.
At first, lunchtime varied. 11:45? 1:15?
Eventually it just became 12:30. That was just when we’d get hungry.
So the plan would be to gather by the door. Except they’d wait for me. Or forget entirely. And then I’d end up ringing the bell.
But that doesn’t fit with the DIY culture of Rally. So the new thing is that someone can just decide to ring a bell at 12:30. Which is pretty vague. But then it totally worked.
And a continuation of fairly recent traditions.
Extra bonus superpowers whilst schmurphling.
Everyone loves bonus superpowers!
Reminding people to read the PLUM.
The PLUM is the Playground User Manual (thank you, commenter mice, for helping me name this!).
And whenever people get stuck at Rally, it’s invariably because they missed part of the PLUM.
I kept it out in the middle of the room and that helped.
Remembering to notice the side effects.
You know how everyone gets way more good-looking at Rally?
Sometimes I forget to pay attention to this until the last five minutes when all of a sudden we’re all like, Whoah, did it get hot in here? When did everyone get so outrageously gorgeous?
But we remembered. And seriously, we were smokin’ hot.
Some interesting things about Rally #11.
A very quiet group.
Thoughtful, introspective, reflective.
People did their own thing. We did not need a Talking Room. It was chill. I like it all ways, so this totally worked for me.
Some quality blanket forts.
Oh how I wish someone had taken pictures.
There was some really creative blanket-forting going on.
Skewing a bit younger?
If the last Rally was more towards the over-50 side, this one was more like 40-and-under.
Interesting, interesting. You never know. And it never matters. We always connect in weird and wonderful ways.
Some things we changed for this Rally.
I re-thought the closing ceremony and mixed things up a little.
This was the first Rally when I didn’t renovate any of the rooms beforehand.
Thoughts and ideas for future Rallies.
A systems thing! I really need a receipts envelope for things (extra snacks!) that I end up buying during Rally.
And maybe I will save the Ritual of Releasing Expectations for something else. Or do it beforehand?
Stray observations.
I really need to tell people — out loud and possibly also here on the blog — mre about what I’m doing when I’m Intentionally Not Shepherding.
This not-shepherding is a Hiro-concept, and a really important part of Rally.
Sometimes there’s light interpersonal drama at Rally and I do not interfere, other than strengthening the force field of Rally culture.
It’s not that I’m unaware of drama-ing, just consciously choosing to not engage, because it’s really important for everyone there that they channel Rally culture.
Which means working on sovereignty, taking responsibility for your own experience, separating out your stuff from other people’s stuff, and having a conscious intentional relationship with whatever is coming up for you.
That way, when you leave Rally, you can be in your strength.
NOT: “Oh Havi is so great and she resolved everything for us.”
BUT INSTEAD: “Hey, I’m getting better at owning my space, caring for myself and separating from what is not mine, thanks to Rally, yay!”
It always works out exactly as it needs to. And it might also be useful if I did a more thorough job of explaining this out loud before Rally in some form.
What I worked on
My personal focus/theme/project/mission for this Rally ended up being the ever-changing role of Shiva Nata in my business, and how it all works together.
Big stuff.
Favorite part?
Oh so hard to decide!
The madcap shivanauttery, of course.
I loved having such a mix of levels of shivanauts (two teachers there, some people with a semi-regular practice, some who had never done it). Neat.
This made teaching extra fun. We made the practice challenging in the most ludicrous ways.
I also took advantage of this young group to do a much more athletic practice than I usually might (with some sweaty high-impact jumping around!), and that was new.
The amazing results.
So many that I could write up an entire blog post just about the fabulous stuff that happened to us. But I will leave you with these:
Liz: “Ohmygod! Everything you said about Rally was true!”
Tim: “This is truly the most productive I have ever been. I got more done in the hour and a half between morning Shiva Nata and lunch today than in the past four months combined.”
Rhiannon: “This Rally left a wake. I’m almost more in it now than when it was happening. Ripples and ripples…”
And everyone loved the stone skipping card decks! Yay.
Hanging out with the Rallygators.
Especially at the Wine-and-Cheesening on Wednesday.
And going out for pizza lunch on Thursday.
Also having a crazed manic bubble-blowing/bubble-stomping romp with Tim when we were both having a fit at the same time.
Play with me! And comment zen for today.
If you would like to do a Revue for something and you want a place to put it, go for it.
If you’ve been to a Rally and want to share favorite memories, that’s welcome too.
And if you have interest in processing a thing which has happened or things you want to try, go for it.
As always, we remember that this is a process, and a process is really a tiny, sweet thing, so we tread gently.
We recognize our stuff, we let other people have their stuff, we take responsibility for our experience and we don’t tell each other what to do.
Love to the rallygators (past and future!), to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
p.s. The September Rally is nearly full. We do have a couple more spots for August. Rally!